Garbage Ape

realized I forgot to post this here 🙈 made this gif for the official Heathcliff Twitter Account!! I love this cat 🍖❤️

Cats rejoice at the Barrel Ape’s approach!

Holy shit it’s the real garbage ape from the Heathcliff comics

I am honored

No but fr Heathcliff is a good comic y’all are just mean

I'm garbage, jon.

sorry it's still so funny that crypto and nfts like exploded and died after all that nonsense pyramid scheme scam shit and superbowl ads and bitcoin mining rigs ruining everything including the environment and it was all for nothing, it didn't change the world it didn't revolutionize anything it was all a complete scam and what remains of it still is. like blockchain tech isn't going anywhere it's probably going to exist in some capacity for the foreseeable future and crypto in general still exists (and existed before it became mainstream popular) but the vast majority of nfts, cryptocurrencies, etc are completely and utterly worthless now, shut down services, crashed markets and exchanges, etc. the only sad things are the people left holding the bag whose lives were ruined bc they got sucked into the scam and there's no justice or recompense + the sheer amt of environmental damage caused by this whole thing

There's something about Mac. Like that stupid movie from the '90s, except no one is chasing Mac, no one is lying to him, tricking him, finding him across the country and flying to him with blind hope. Not even Dennis, who isn't quite sure what he'd do if anyone else tried to get with Mac. But it doesn't matter, because no one but Dennis sees what he sees in Mac. There's something about Mac, but only for Dennis.

He remembers when they first met. When he overpaid for the blunt because he brought too much cash and didn't want to deal with the rest in his pocket, back when he was rich, when he didn't have an alimony payment and debt that wasn't his to begin with, a failing bar with his name listed in the paperwork. A failing bar with Mac, but he's off topic, because this is about Mac, and passing blunts around with him under the old football bleachers and talking late in the night about their fathers, inviting Charlie over every once in a while to watch him get high off glue, but Dennis's eyes were always on the pink of Mac's always dry lips.

He'd like to say it was hard to leave Mac for college, but it wasn't. It was a way for him to fulfill his long laid plans, and he had to make peace that he hadn't planned on seeing Mac ever again. But he did see him, because Mac would show up on weekends, crash in his frat room, smoke with the window wide open, chastise Dennis for smoking a cigarrete while he'd be chugging down a blunt. He's never made much sense like that, yet it's endearing. It's always been endearing. And stupid. So fucking stupid. College was the first time Mac watching Dennis fuck a chick, the only time he's gotten to see it in real life, but Dennis later found ways to conspicously watch Mac jerk off again at the same time he told him it's only what bros do.

There was one time they made out. New Year's Eve, both crossfaded, it just happened, and Dennis slipped out that he wishes they could always do this, and Mac looked at him dumbly and said nothing. Mac threw up the next morning, but Dennis never did. He invited Mac to watch him fuck three weekends after that.

There was no reason they needed to move in together except for haunting teenage dreams and before Dennis knew it Mac was cursing and saying he wouldn't be able to co-sign the lease because his credit score is fucked. Dennis's wasn't great, but it was better. Dennis made Mac sign a shitty handwritten contract that stated he would pay half the rent despite not being on the lease, and Mac signed it after some argument, but then Dennis never held him to it. He figured Mac made up for it in other ways, like sometimes making them burnt eggs for breakfast or restocking their beer supply or putting a blanket over Dennis when he passes out during movie night. It's something, at the very least.

And he never would have expected Mac to become gay, never would have expected him to admit it, but something shifted in him once Mac did. It was nothing, but it was the biggest experience of his life, and it wasn't even his expierence. There was just something about Mac. Something about their future. Something about a declaration of love and joy and fucking men instead of woman, which Mac quickly became no stranger too.

Leaving him for North Dakato was easy, until it wasn't. He soon realized that it wasn't college and Mac wasn't going to randomly show up every once in a while. It was real, adult, fatherly life. It was absolute hell. It was life about Mac without Mac.

He knows it hasn't been the same since. His abandonment left a permanent scar. Mac hasn't looked at him the same way since and the closest they got was during lockdown, was while royally fucking up the presidential election, but Dennis was oddly happy. He was singing with his best friend while they both had glimmers in their eye, and he never minded when Mac would steer their lyrics towards gay sex and Dennis would have to reel him back to more flowery things. It was all Mac's idea, everything they did during quarantine, but Dennis followed. He followed happily.

When he got Covid, he had fever dreams of Mac and the castle. Dreams he hasn't wanted to revisit since for good reason, dreams he hopes he forgets one day, if only so the unfettering ache in his chest will leave.

But there's always something about Mac. There's always something about Mac and their future. Dennis just isn't sure what.

okay. I think my biggest jealousy with japan just hit me with the hotel provided mouthwash

it was APPLE flavored!! literally I am so happy to get a mouthwash that isn't mint, I just can't stand mint and i am legitimately wondering if I can bring mouthwash in my checked bag

literally the only non-mint fruity ones I've seen in adult mouthwashes in the US is like. grapefruit. and I'm cautious with grapefruit and grapefruit-flavored things in general

be honest, was AP Bio a good show or do you guys just like it for Glenn?

Trapped or preserved? No matter! She is regal and her power dominates all! Give in and serve.

new scott pilgrim fans driving me insane i'm like about to change my profile picture good fucking bye wallace you beautiful coca cola drinking bastard

why is it that ap chem, the infamously hard ap class, was incredibly easy for me while ap bio, the "easy" ap science course, is kicking my ass and shooting me dead on the floor before beating my corpse with a baseball bat

I've decided to instead of dealing with Daddy's almost 1TB of ebooks, I'm going to address my old files, and boy the nostalgia is overwhelming.

IT CAME FROM AMAZON!

The Incredible Mr. Limpet

Batman The Movie

Shirt Tales

Can't Buy Me Love

Real Genius

Top Secret

Cool World

Return To The Planet Of The Apes

Garbage Pail Kids

i feel like the worlds most awful person right now