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fanonorcanon · 5 years

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Solas & F!Lavellan

Here's an alternate scene for my elven Inquisitor Abelath.

Solas paced in front of the sofa in Abelath’s quarters. She was seated, grinning at him.

“Is something wrong, Solas?”

“No. Well, yes. There is much I need to tell you and I fear it will change your feelings about me.”

“What's this about? Come and sit down.”

He sat well out of her arms reach. “How much do you know about the Evanuris?”

“My mother would tell me stories of them as a child. Does that matter?”

“And of Fen’Harel? What do you know of him?”

“Some say that he betrayed the Evanuris. My mother told me a different story though.”

“I've heard no other stories of Fen’Harel. What did she tell you?”

“That he cared deeply for Mythal. When the Evanuris slayed her Fen’Harel sought justice for her.”

Solas felt the air snatched from his lungs.

“That is closer to the truth than you might believe, Abelath.”

“What do you mean?” She frowned and watched as Solas stood and began pacing again.

“Did you know that Fen’Harel was the one who created the veil? That he is the one responsible for the horrible fate that befell the elven people? He was selfish, blind in his fury. Unthinking of the consequences of his actions. He should have- he shouldn't have been such a fool.”

“The Evanuris were not gods, nor was Fen’Harel. They were people. And people make mistakes,” Abelath replied with a frown.

“And who told you that?”

“My mother. She often said that a piece of Mythal lived on inside her, inside many of us. It's a touching sentiment but just a story.”

“It's not a story, Abelath.” Solas grit his teeth.

“There's something you're not telling me, isn't there? You've always hidden much of yourself, but this is something important, isn't it?”

Solas nodded grimly.

“You're Fen’Harel,” she murmured.

Solas’ eyes went wide. He couldn't look at her; couldn't bear to see disgust in her gaze. How could she know?

“My mother told me that I was fated to fall in love with Fen’Harel. That she'd drank from the vir’abelasan. I'd thought it just a story. But it's not a story, is it?”

“There's a temple in the Arbor Wilds,” Solas said.

“Is that important? Solas, please, talk to me. Are you truly Fen’Harel?”

“I'd like to take you there.”

“And going there will make this all make sense again?” Her tone was of disbelief.

“Please, vhenan.”

“It will take weeks, won't it?”

“Not if we use an eluvian.”

“Let me gather my things. I'll meet you in the garden.” Abelath smiled weakly at him and gripped his hands.

“Thank you, vhenan,” he murmured before he kissed her hard. “I promise it will all make sense.”

Solas led her through the long-abandoned temple. His hands shook though he hid it by gripping his staff tighter.

When they reached the altar, Solas used the orb to call echoes to the well. Mythal had heard the call, deep in his bones, he knew.

“What now, Solas?” Abelath seemed uncertain.

“You need not worry, vhenan. She will come.”

“Who? Who's coming?”

“Mythal.”

“What? How-”

“Many things are possible, my daughter, Abelath Nehnan.” Mythal indeed stood before them, her hair fashioned into horns reminiscent of her favored form.

“Mother?”

“It has been too long, my child,” Mythal said. She and Abelath hugged in silence before Mythal turned to Solas. “Garas quenathra, ma’fen?” She asked him.

“I fear that I cannot continue on this path. I cannot destroy the world she knows.”

“And yet you haven't thought to ask her opinion on the matter. You always were quick to decide things. Come with me, both of you.” Her tone made Solas feel like the scolded child he'd once been.

Mythal poured them tea, grinning at Solas even as he grimaced after he’d taken a sip.

“My daughter, you are destined for greatness. You will lead the people into a new age, with him at your side. He will try to break your heart, he will try to leave you.” Mythal glared at Solas. “Do not let him. Your name is your destiny. Your love for him will be sorrowful at times, but know that he loves you and will always come crawling back. He's a sad sort but he means well.”

Solas swore under his breath to which the woman both laughed.

“You will also bring vengeance to the ones who conspired against me. It will be you who deals them the killing blow,” Mythal said to Abelath.

“You cannot ask that of her!” Solas snapped.

“Can't I?” Mythal asked with a raised brow. “Sit, and let the woman speak for herself.”

“You always told me tales of the splendor of Arlathan, mother. I wish to see it made whole,” Abelath said.

“It will come at a great cost, da’len,” Mythal replied.

“What cost haven't the people already paid? We are slaves, seen as lesser beings by all. We deserve better and I would see it done,” Abelath said fiercely.

“Foolish little wolf,” Mythal chuckled. “You see? I have not raised her to forget our legacy so easily.”

“And yet she still bears a vallaslin,” he spat. “You know what it means, she does not.”

“What does it mean?”

“They are marking placed upon slaves or servants, of which you are neither my child,” Mythal took Abelath's hands in hers. “He can remove them. I believe he feared that doing so would make it so you could never go back.”

“Go back where?” Abelath asked.

“To the Dalish I suspect,” Mythal mused quietly.

Abelath frowned. “I will have Solas remove them,” she said evenly.

“There is no turning back, vhenan, are you certain?” Solas asked.

“She is certain, stop doubting her. You must continue the plan, both of you. There are spies I've placed within the Inquisition that will throw them off your path but you must leave soon. The veil is weakening at an alarming rate near the Evanuris’ prison. You must destroy it. That alone will not suffice. Solas, you know what you must do. I will do all I can to aid you. I've sealed the eluvian in Skyhold, no one but you two can ever go through it again. Pray it remains whole.” Mythal nodded at them and walked away, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

“Tell me everything, but first get these damn markings off my face,” Abelath growled at Solas.

#solas #female lavellan #solavellan #dragon age #dai #dragon age inquisition #fanon writes fic

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destinywhisperslove · 7 years

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My Love Story: The Search for my Happy Place

Once Upon A Time, a man and a woman went dancing at a club called Destiny and immediately conceived a daughter by the same name. She grew up without a father, surrounded by the love of her sisters as they united together against the darkness that consumed their family, shielding each other from the rough anger and depression that plagued their mother. She taught them that men were unflinchingly evil, and it was hard for Destiny to deny, when she saw all that happened to the women she loved.

Therefore, she thought God was gracious in making her ugly and undesirable, because she vehemently hated the lust and the control in men's eyes. She was no object. She did not want to be beautiful, she did not want attention.

Then she fell in love with Jesus, who told her that He saw her, knew everything about her, and thought she was the most beautiful in all Creation. He sent her constant dreams of God reading her a love story, later she realized her love story, as she floated in a beautiful garden next to a mysterious man.

This became her "happy place" as life began to unravel. Mommy became increasingly filled with rage until one day she had a stroke that left her paralyzed. Now Destiny, still in high school, was the only one working. She hated to watch as they all got thinner, blessed periodically by food left from members of their church. She was the first in her family to graduate from high school, #5 in her class, but the best part was feeling her mother's pride for the first time in her life.

She can still feel the chills as she dialed 911 after her brother pushed her sister in one of his many drunken rages, running to the shower as the police broke down the door and the dogs barked. The texts on her phone from her best friend, her desired future husband, as he suddenly declared it was too much for him, and she needed to stop speaking to him immediately, and she held back her tears as she finally came out to comfort her sisters. She still sought out her Happy Place, even though the man was once again a stranger.

She was so alone but she had to hold on.

In college, she decided to give actual dating a try. She was stalked and hated by a random boy that she was nice to because she went to a Halloween party with another guy. The other guy, who declared he knew she was "the one" he would marry after 2 weeks of knowing each other, immediately cursed the day she was born when she said she didn't want to date him and did his best to make going to school fearful and intimidating.

Soon after, a friend took her to the top of a hill to go stargazing. She had never seen so many stars in her life. He told her about his grandma, the missionary, how she always told him he should make more friends like her. He told her about his First, which she found amusing because people often confused Destiny at school with this other girl. He was so cold and she was so warm, and she promised him that even if he no longer believed in romance or true love, she would still be there for him.

She kept good on that promise when he went away for college and "broke free". That very first week he was away from his pastor parents, he called her at 3 am, completely drunk, going on and on about how so many women wanted him, how he was going to be wild now and that if she truly wanted him, she needed to be wild too. Who was this man anyway?

Still, she held on, inch by inch giving into his pressures, sure the man with the same vision and passion as she had, the same insecurities, was just hiding behind this obvious mask. He told her the innocence she clung to was a false god and that she needed to seduce him, to be like the girl from Grease at the end (they actually dressed as Danny and Sandy that Halloween). He was more wild and more drunk then all the boys in his fraternity, and she would drive 1.5 hours just to come collect him and bring him to bed when they called. He was suicidal and stupid and out of control. Finally he said it was now or never.

And she finally gave in, and on a freezing rainy day in January, he quietly said that he thought she would be more like his First and coldly turned and said they were through. A rage boiled up inside of her like she had never known, and she yelled and cursed so loudly that he freaked out because the whole frat house could hear. She refused to be that. She refused to be tossed aside.

It was that stubbornness that drove them through 4 more years. Her journal became silent because she so badly wanted to forget. Her sisters begged her to leave him. She couldn't tell them why she stayed, why she gave him something he didn't even deserve. She was their role model, and she had gone and done everything they promised they would never do.

He tried to leave her so many times. She dug in, held tighter, humbled herself as he began experimenting more with drugs and drinking and general lack of self-restraint ("but I was always faithful" he said). His parents, the pastors, clung to her and said to have faith and not give up on their son. They were at a loss with what to do with him.

Then one Christmas Eve, he got down on one knee in front of his entire family in an elaborate White Elephant Gift Exchange proposal. He was sincere and earnest and wanted to be a man worth marrying and she said yes.

Fast forward through a hellish engagement, complete with monster-in-law. She held the ring in her hand, wondered if it was really worth it. All of God's promises and all of her dreams seemed like fallacy. She threw the ring at him, but immediately took it back. They had made it this far...

May 17, 2014 was a beautiful day. She had just graduated college after a wonderful internship teaching and had an amazing adventurous honeymoon planned, as well as a new life with her new husband in NC. Her sisters pleaded with her that morning not to walk down the aisle, but this would seal the deal. She would finally legalize what she had done with her body 2 years before. She would be a wife.

She was so calm but nervous at the same time. He hadn't slept and this was one of the few times he actually matched and looked presentable. His transfixed eyes as his father read the vows made her giggle, especially when she tried to repeat "until death do us part". Everyone said she was a stunning bride, they couldn't get over it. She stole the show. She thought, "Finally, this is what I have been waiting for."

They camped and drove for 3 weeks through 14 different states, experiencing every type of extreme weather. By this time, he never really touched her, but she didn't care. He was happy and calm and hopeful so she was too.

There are no words to describe the next year of her life. Breath-taking and exhilarating as it was to finally live her dream as a teacher, darkness lived in drunken anger and anguish, as she fought to cover up the man he had become. He refused to work until a big-time CEO knocked on their door and offered him a high paying salary because he was worth it. Therefore, she worked two jobs, hiding money so they could pay bills instead of letting him blow it on weed and alcohol. She wrestled knives from his hand as he began to cut himself again, and frantically untied belts wrapped around his neck when he would try to hang himself in the closet. Every day, she wasn't sure if he would be alive when she got home, what kind of mood he would be in. She got his parents involved but no one else and he pretended to get help, but only got worse.

She was cut off from her family and her friends, alone with someone who didn't want to sleep in the same bed with her, instead staying up until 6am, lusting after videos with increasingly disturbing titles. She didn't care though. It was better than those few times it was directed at her when he snuck in at 3am, quiet (shh don't speak, you'll ruin the mood) in the dark, fast and gone. She hated that more than anything she had ever hated in her life.

She finally got him a job and was amazed at how much control he tried to take over the money, buying expensive foods and eating lavishly, getting drunk off of fancy liquors. He surprised her at her job as a server on Valentine's Day, complete with balloons and chocolate and a mostly empty bottle of liquor. Luckily she didn't claim him because he was banned from the premises. Unfortunately, that also meant he wouldn't let her work there anymore (besides he was jealous of the male servers).

Soon they couldn't afford their bills and one day, when buying alcohol was more important than having gas to get to work, he drunkenly drove with their toaster, a wedding gift still in the box, and put a sign on it and tried to sell it to people at a gas station. She hunkered down into the seat and heard loud, disturbing vulgarities and he jumped into the car and sped off. "Was that man cursing at you?" she asked tentatively. "No I cursed him out because he looked at me like I was beneath him..." A little later she snuck out to pawn her bike so she could go to work, clutching the pawn ticket with a prayer as she secretly stopped by the food pantry, hoping that it represented their lowest point.

It wasn't.

Her Happy Place became a small ember. Obviously she deserved this, because she chose to love a man other than the one in her dream, and she was obliged to pay the price of her sin and weakness and shame. She would stay with him until he died or until he left her and she was absolved of her allegiance to him. The one thing she wouldn't do was bring a child into this. She had a choice but she wouldn't make her own baby pay for her too.

"Have you ever had sex against your will?" My goodness, all of these questions. I just want the pills and I want to be out of here. He tried to hide them from her, saying that a family is what they needed, but she was aggressively protective of her unborn children, and told him he was not fit to be a father.

Still, they got a house, a beautiful one with her dream kitchen, 4 bedrooms and a playroom and garage. They made it through a whole year of marriage ("The first year is always rough" his mom kept telling her. "Barbara (his aunt) had to deal with her husband's drunkenness and anger all the time, but see they are still together 45 years later")(She did not envy their relationship).

He quit his job that he barely went to in a drunken rage and took to waking her up at 5 or 6 am, yelling at her that she was F-ing lazy, that her mom was a pig, that her sisters were trying to brainwash her, that he was going to leave.

Please do, please do. She whispered.

Her sisters visited for the first time ever and were horrified by the scene before them. It was easy to smile for the camera, to show off her dream kitchen and her little garden. Now they saw what the camera hid, the mountains of beer and liquor bottles in the garage after such a short time, his slovenliness apparently in the trash and food wrappers, little packets of weed and bottles of pills and bongs mixed in the bags he refused to unpack. Seeing their horror at this and the way he treated her ripped her resolved, splintering what little façade she had managed for this long.

By this point it was summer, and he could no longer sneak out to buy alcohol. She cut his debit card and made him promise to at least try. It was embarrassing for him too, for his sisters to see what he made their life. A week later, he left their dog outside and she searched for him, confused, noting her car was gone. She looked at her phone and had 6 missed calls, and learned he had totaled her car on his way back from "the gas station". He was a complete wreck himself.

It was the last straw. She said she couldn't take it anymore. She said this was not the life she had envisioned and she didn't want to keep suffering and picking up after him, that he had to be a grown man and take care of himself.

He left for a little while to stay with his parents and get counseling for real. Now his mom had to deal with his drunken rages and she called Destiny several times, saying she was going to Baker Act him. Destiny felt so.....free.

At this time, her Bestie sent her a book called "Why Does He Do That?" She couldn't have known it was God's perfect timing, because Destiny wouldn't have bothered reading it, knowing she was resigned to her fate anyway. Every word jumped out at her, every page made her cry until she was exhausted with tears. She was going to do it. She didn't know how, but she was going to end it.

The great, powerful, dreadful word swelled in her chest until it burst from her lips: Divorce

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