#galidraan didnt happen and theres no war jango is just grumpy about being held hostage | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

levitatingbiscuits · 4 years

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hi! I love your writing it brings me so much joy! anyway have you considered an AU where jango and obi-wan are captured together/break out of prison together?

(thank you so much darling that’s so sweet <3)

Obi-Wan woke up in a very familiar cell with a pounding in his head and groaned, long and low and heartfelt.

The pounding subsided somewhat. Ah, someone had been banging on the walls of the brig. How considerate of them to stop.

“Who’s Hondo got on guard duty this time?” Obi-Wan called, sitting up and rubbing at his temples, pleased to note that he hadn’t been restrained. It just wasn’t sporting, after all. “Evus? Yoro?”

“It’s me,” Carsi said smugly, strutting into view in front of the energy field at the front of his cell and striking a pose. “You’re not getting out this time, you slippery bastard, I’ve got money riding on this.”

Obi-Wan rubbed his inner canthi and vowed, as he often when he visited Hondo, to never drink again. “My dear, I might have the week off but I do need to be getting back eventually. The Temple usually gives me 5-8 business days before they shell out a ransom.”

Carsi opened her smirking mouth to respond when someone in the cell next to them growled, “The Haat Mando’ade don’t pay ransom and you’ll be paying yours in blood if you don’t give me my karking armor back right now.”

Carsi’s mouth snapped shut with a click, eyes wide, and Obi-Wan took pity on her. She was young and headstrong and reckless, which meant Obi-Wan was predisposed to like her. He still owed her for trouncing her at dejarik in front of her girlfriend, which was undoubtedly why she had volunteered to guard him in the first place.

“Now, none of that, my friend. Is this your first time enjoying Captain Ohnaka’s dubious hospitality?”

"This is the last time because once I’m through with him he’s not going to have a kriffing ship anymore,” the apparent Mandalorian growled, “Or legs.”

Carsi edged closer to Obi-Wan’s cell.

“That will be unnecessary, I’m sure. Hondo might be a pirate but he’s a decent sort. No serious harm will come to you, at least not if you don’t deserve it. Hondo might even let you go without a ransom if he wants something else from you, though if your armor is made of beskar it might be a lost cause.”

Something that sounded like a fist slammed against the wall. Carsi jumped a foot in the air.

“Like. What,” the Mandalorian ground out eventually.

“Well, the last time I was here he wanted me to win a sabacc tournament for him, and he once kidnapped my padawan because he’s a former pod racing champion. Do you have any unexpected talents, by chance?”

“Killing people.”

Obi-Wan sighed. “Well, that’s not quite unexpected, but I’m sure Hondo will have a use for that.”

Carsi visibly gulped.

Eventually their host decided to show his face, though not before the Mandalorian detailed how he planned to break each bone in his body. Poor Carsi looked like she regretted ever taking this guard duty, no matter how much money she’d win from the pool if she managed to keep Obi-Wan there. (The current record was 3 days. A Jedi’s ransom had become something of a white space whale for Hondo.)

“Kenobi, my good friend!” Hondo crowed, throwing a companionable arm around Carsi’s shoulders, who promptly dislodged it. “And Fett, my valued associate!”

“Hondo,” Obi-Wan greeted, smiling despite himself.

“I hope you enjoyed the party last night, boys! I broke out my best liquor for it!”

“That was your best liquor?” Fett asked, almost despite himself. Hondo tended to have that effect on people.

“Obviously not, I wouldn’t waste it on guests! Especially not Kenobi, otherwise he’d drink it all.”

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes but didn’t refute it. “Whatever I drank last night was quite impressive, in any case. I couldn’t even taste the drugs.”

Hondo laughed. “There weren’t any drugs, my friend! You just drank two bottles of tihaar and passed out on the table.”

“That was tihaar?” Obi-Wan asked, surprised. The New Mandalorians never made it that strong.

“You gave all my tihaar to a jetii?” Fett said at the same time, then paused. “How are you not dead, Kenobi?”

“I... have extensive experience,” Obi-Wan admitted sheepishly. “Did you brew it yourself? It really was quite good. Stronger than I’m used to.”

“The true Mandalorians make true tihaar,” Fett said, pride creeping into his voice. “None of that weak Sundari banthakark. ‘S real draluram.”

“I must admit that I agree with you, even if the taste might leave something to be desired,” Obi-Wan agreed. “Is your papuur’gal stronger, as well?”

“Of course it is, jetii. You wouldn’t believe what those aruetiise try to pass off as real alcohol...”

Hondo slipped out once the conversation got lively, congratulating himself on a job well done. It wasn’t easy--Hondo liked being the center of attention, as was his due, and normally he would be offended that his unwilling guests would be rude enough to ignore their gracious host.

But Hondo liked them both. Kenobi was his friend, and Fett was an honorable man. They would make an interesting pair, especially considering that Hondo had trapped them in the one environment that wouldn’t immediately lead to a fight (Fett’s doing) or a raunchy one-off entanglement (Kenobi had worked his way through half of Hondo’s crew, not to mention Hondo himself, at this point).

Hondo was as skilled at matchmaking as he was at piracy! Perhaps he could start a side business. Advertise it in his best man speech. Mandalorian weddings were always fun. And this way Fett might not take his anger out on Hondo’s kneecaps once Hondo traded him for beskar.

And if he was very lucky, Kenobi would like Fett enough to stay and let Hondo finally get his hands on that Temple ransom...

#galidraan didnt happen and theres no war jango is just grumpy about being held hostage #what a buzzkill #jangobi #crack #matchmaker hondo au #Anonymous #my writing

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