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Sept. 20, 2017: Columns

When I delivered groceries...

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

A few years ago I got a call from Kay Ball, informing me that she and her sister, Brenda, had sold the old Thrift Super Market building on the corner of Fourth Street and C streets in North Wilkesboro.

As I have often written in this space, I got a job there in the early 60's, bagging groceries and doing odd jobs. The store was operated by the girls' parents, H.D., and Ann Ball - an interesting couple to say the least.

A few years ago, when Ann died, I was honored to speak at her funeral and I took that opportunity to remind those gathered, who knew them best, of Mr. Ball's proclivity for being, to say the least, a bit conservative with his money. Ann, on the other hand, had a heart as big as all outdoors and would as soon give things away as would to sell them - most especially to someone in need.

When I went to the store to see Kay that day, it was sad to see the building in such disrepair, but it still brought back a gazillion memories. I met folks there as a teenager I was able to stay in touch with for the rest of their lives. In fact, with the recent passing of Blair Gwyn, I think his widow, Florence, is the last remaining of the neighborhood customers I came to know and care about.

Among the things Kay and Brenda had saved for me that day was the cart I used to push groceries out to cars in the parking lot as well as use for deliveries to shut-in neighbors. They only had two of them, bought when the store was first built in the mid-50's, and I now have one of them as yet another prize possession here at The Record.

It was the people living in the neighborhood that I saw most often and came to know and enjoy best. Mary Moore Hix lived up on D Street and was clearly one of my favorites. "Sis" to most who knew her, and Mrs. Hix to me, was always in good spirits and on the go. The year I was to graduate from high school, Mrs. Hix took me aside at the Thrift one day and told me to "…be sure and send a graduation invitation to all these old ladies who shop here, and it will be the best investment you've ever made."

I did, and it was.

Two blocks away on C Street was the office of Dr. E. S. Cooper, who was one of the very first chiropractors to move to Wilkes County. Dr. and Mrs. Cooper were regulars at the store, and I especially remember them both as having beautiful white hair, and being very quiet and easy going. Across C Street from the Coopers was Mr. Rob Parker, as noisy as the Coopers were quiet. Mr. Parker knew that my father was a Baptist preacher and he would try to get my goat by coming into the store singing aloud, "The preacher in the pulpit, preaching mighty bold. Preaching for the money, caring nothing for the soul." Mr. Parker had a woodworking shop behind his house, and he would sometimes let me run the lathe. He made a small table that I bought for my mother for Christmas one year, and it was a prized possession of hers for the rest of her life.

I would push that grocery cart as far Emma Day's house on D Street across from the First Baptist Church, and it was a delivery to Mrs. Day that I will never forget. She was planning on making kraut and had ordered a bunch of cabbage from Mr. Ball. That cart would hold eight full grocery bags, and this day it was full of nothing but cabbage. It was heavy. It was hot. I was scrawny, and by the time I got to Mrs. Day's house I was soaked in sweat. I then had to carry all eight bags of cabbage back into her kitchen and presented her the bill.

Mrs. Day pulled a head of cabbage out of one of the bags and immediately stated, "This will not do."

She then pulled out a knife that could very well have come out of a slasher movie and begin to chop the bottom leaves off head after head of cabbage. When finished, she instructed me to have Mr. Ball weigh the cabbage she was returning and bring her and updated bill.

Mr. Ball may have been close with his money, but he met his match in Emma Day.

One of my regulars was Bessie Johnson. Bessie lived on the corner of Fifth and C Streets in an old house Claude and Madge Canter had converted into apartments. Bessie Johnson lived upstairs, but how she ever got up there is still a matter of some question. Her false teeth were loose and rattled together as she spoke, and she had more ailments than anyone I had ever known. If she told me once, she told me a hundred times as I puffed up those steps with bags of groceries, "Kenny, I sure do appreciate you bringing those things home for me, because it would surely kill me to go up and down those steps another time."

But, by far, my favorite delivery was when I got to take a load of groceries to the home of Miss Katie Whittington on Main Street, or B Street as it was known then. In addition to being a downhill run when fully loaded, and an empty run on the return, going to Miss Katie's house was like a trip to Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory. Along with her daughter, Laura Belle, Miss Katie Whittington had a well-deserved reputation for cakes, pies, pastries and wonderful good nature. Whenever I would go to their house, I was guaranteed a sweet treat of some description. I noted with great sadness that Miss Katie's home fell victim to a

wrecking ball, and is now just a grassy lot.

It was a different time, a slower time. A time when every child knew every neighbor and those neighbors made you feel welcome in their home. A time when a 15-year-old kid delivering a cart full of groceries knew he could go in the back door without even knocking.

I miss those days.

What you don't transform you will transmit….

By LAURA WELBORN

Matthew 18:21 When Peter asked Jesus how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? As many as seven times? Jesus said to him, "not seven times but seventy-seven times."

Its scary to think that it takes 77 times to be able to let go of the hurt, not respond to the pain or act out destructively. Our heart is the center of our will and where our intention lives, which is where we start with our heart and intentionally begin the process of reconciliation. As everyone knows it is never easy and the hard part is the part of letting go of the hurt. If we go back to the saying what you don't transform you will transmit, then by not letting go and doing something with the hurt we will hurt, others through our own pain.

Forgiveness is not a weapon to be used against someone but a road to our own redemption. In the book "Forgiveness" Desmond Tutu talks about a 4 fold path to forgiveness. The first step is in the telling of the story. I think it is important not to get lost in this step because sometimes telling the story reinforces our hurt and minimizes our part in the hurt. Therefore openness and a willingness to take responsibility of our role in the hurt is critical. Acknowledging our actions is the key to when we can transform a situation/hurt into a greater good.

The next step is naming the hurt, and this is when the introspection of what the ultimate harm is. I think this is one of the hardest steps because often what I am reacting to is superficial and what hurt the most is what I bury. It means looking at myself and acknowledging my vulnerabilities to be able to name what hurt the most. In other words it means looking beyond what we initially present as the problem.

Being ready to forgive is one thing, but to let it go is quite another issue. So often people will say I can forgive, but I can't forget. Forgetting to me means letting it go so I can forget. Now the lesson is what I hope to hold on to, but how that lesson happened I hope I can forget. It is important in this step to look at your resources, who in your life can help you move beyond the hurt? Who can help you feel loved when you are in pain so you can move beyond it? Accessing our resources does mean exposure but it is having a safe place to land and finding someone who helps us not crash and burn in our landing from the hurt.

The last step is to renew/release the relationship. This means you can step back and release the relationship with someone without holding resentment and bitterness and choose not to renew the relationship.

If we look at the community resiliency model it essentially takes us to a place where we can use our "protective factors" to reduce the risk of harm. Protective Factors are essentially our support system- who we let into our lives in a meaningful way, our ability to cope and manage uncomfortable situations in a meaningful way. Another protective factor is our own sense of purpose and how we live within our own values. Self Esteem is ultimately if we believe we can overcome our challenges, flaws and mistakes which leads to healthy thinking. Healthy thinking becomes a protective factor when we do not stay stuck on our mistakes but are able to recognize our personal strengths and weaknesses rationally.

Often I think if I have to forgive someone 77 times, I might as well just forget it (the hurt), or maybe I will just figure its not worth the effort to get upset.

It’s in the Bible, look it up… HEATHER DEAN REPORTER/PHOTOJOURNALIST

Rev. James Martin is an American Jesuit priest, a writer, and editor-at-large of the Jesuit magazine America residing in Manhattan, and known for his outspokenness for accepting all of god's children, especially the outcast. He has made the news recently with the release of his new book entitled "Building a Bridge", in which urges the Roman Catholic Church to find a common ground with LGBT Catholics who feel estranged from the church because of social and religious stigma and hopefully create dialogue. The subject would ruffle some feathers he knew, but so did the son of god. Never mind that his Jesuit superior read the manuscript and all was found to be in line with church teachings and was even endorsed by several cardinals. Yet, despite the fact that many parents and friends of the LGBT community appreciating the brave move, and encouraged by Rev. Martin's accepting words, the backlash came. It came in the form of insults, hateful rhetoric, people of his own faith labeling him a heretic, and even death threats.

People of his own faith. Christians.

So here's the thing:

I grew up Christian, believing in the teachings Christ, learning to turn the other cheek, hoping to become a martyr for God, and to above all, show love and compassion. In the end, I was betrayed by hypocrisy and misogyny from those I trusted most. And yet, I hold nothing against the Christian religion or against their version of God in general.

Why? Because Jesus said not to be a jerk and that's what I try to live by. (It's in the Bible, look it up...)

He also said to love

your enemies. (Luke 6:27-36)

He also said that in the least you do this to others you do it to me. (Matt. 25:40)

The good book also says that the Old Testament Laws (over 600 of them) are now void because Jesus paved the path of faith with love, and to obey the Christ, was the New Testament Law. (Gal. chapters 3-6)

So I have never understood how "the good Christian" can be so judgmental and unkind, claiming it to be a part of protecting their religion.

Jesus never said you were going to like what

happened in the world. He laid the groundwork of how to deal with it, and he said not to let it get to you, because GOD was the end-all-be-all when it came down to judging and deciding he would make it into the kingdom of heaven. (James 4:12)

So why all the hate and angst with the gay, black, immigrant and Wiccan community, or anyone who does not hold true to your version of theology? Jesus was chastised for hanging out with the "rogues and scoundrels" if you recall.

Sidebar: Those of you who believe that Jesus is coming back, how exactly do you expect him to look? What if he comes back as a Middle Eastern man in a turban again? What if he chooses to be a woman, a person of color, or even a hobo?

The reason I love that the good Reverend has written such a book, is because it's objective. You can take the LGBT out of the conversation, and insert race, alternate religion, gender etc., and the same question begs to be asked: Are you being Christ like?

"If we can't even begin a dialogue without a charge of heresy, then we need to take a good look at how we understand the gospel." -Reverend Martin.

Love, no matter what.

It's in the Bible, look it up.

Another hidden agenda . . . very real and very dangerous

EARL COX

Special to The Record

On the road to the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization's brave new world economy, democratic educational systems are speed bumps. To remove these obstacles, UNESCO has devised a compulsory global education scheme that exploits and politicizes how and what the next generation will learn-thus molding compliant "global citizens."

UNESCO's Constitution describes one of its primary roles as spreading knowledge to the world, and giving a "fresh impulse to education." But there's a sting-UNESCO's state-controlled, global education plan is subservient to its overarching aim for world monetary control-the New International Economic Order or NIEO.

The NIEO "sacrifices education" to redistributing developed, industrial nations' wealth and resources

to underdeveloped nations, said former policy advisor Thomas G. Gulick. The new monetary system is a planned, socialist world economy under the jurisdiction of a U.N. economic "superagency." U.S. and Western industrial nations would finance this "global welfare state." In short, Gulick said, "NIEO appears to be UNESCO's hidden agenda."

Education to sustain the NIEO

This agenda has been long in the making. In the '70s, Director General Amadou-Mahtar M'Bow targeted UNESCO's education and social science sectors as the "main focus" to achieve the NIEO. Thus, politicization gradually permeated all UNESCO sectors, Gulick said.

The NEIO was established in 1974 by a U.N. General Assembly resolution. Though updated in 2011, "not very much" changed, said professors Vinod Aggarwal and Steve Weber for the Harvard Business Review; "NIEO demands … are almost exactly the same as Supachai Panitchpakdi, head of UNCTAD, [called] for" in 2012-a global financial system to benefit the poor.

The prickly issue of

sovereignty

The NIEO rejects all sovereignty but its own. Presenting the "roadmap for global education" in 2015, Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon and UNESCO Director General Irina Bokova said: "We…entrust UNESCO …to lead … the Education agenda ….to reach our ambitious goal by 2030." Within this framework, "globalized schools worldwide must reshape children's values to create "global citizens."

The UN 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development describes children and youth as "critical agents of change" to implement "the new global order." To this end, teacher trainees study NIEO, human rights, and situational-ethics lessons plans; the latter asserts decisions should be based on circumstances, not fixed principles. It rejects absolute moral principles such as G-d, or good and evil- ruling out most precepts of Judaism and Christianity.

Indoctrinating Young Minds: Scientific Humanism

Starting in the early '70s, UNESCO books and publications explored the idea

of a new educational order

based on scientific humanism.

This view rejects all religious

beliefs in a divine person or creed; it was slammed as "the breeding ground of intolerance," by educational psychologist W. D. Wall.

In brief, UNESCO educational literature advises parents not to teach their children religious moral principles, which Wall labels "moral indoctrination." This goes hand in hand with UN advocacy of mandatory sex education for children, beginning in pre-kindergarten.

Eroding moral foundations

According to a previous Fox News report, the UN recommends that children 5 to 8 be taught about gender violence and self-touch satisfaction. By 9, they'll learn about aphrodisiacs, homophobia, transphobia and abuse of power; at 12, contraception, and by age 15, "safe" abortions. Thus, the state usurps parents' rights to teach their children about moral choices and sex.

'Dry rot in academia'

What's happening on U.S. campuses is a microcosm of UNESCO's threat facing the world. Economist Thomas Sowell sounded the alarm on "the intellectual and moral dry rot" that spreads wherever "the groupthink of

the left substitutes for education."

Exposing students to different viewpoints was once thought a valuable part of education; "but that was before academia - and the education system - became a monopoly of the political left," he said. Regardless of whose views become a monopoly, education-and our children-suffer. Reducing Western democracies' support to an organization committed to the destruction of their economies and education is surely part of the remedy.

A rainy day at the Barber Shop and Peggy the witch

BY CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

I enjoy my visits to the barber shop for a variety of reasons. The more practical reason is to get a good haircut, but if you limit your experience to the utilitarian purpose of walking away with shorter hair one will surely miss out on a treasure trove of cultural edification awaiting. In other words, hold on to your hat, things may just get a little hairy.

It was on the raining morning that I returned to the Second Street Barber shop in North Wilkesboro, NC a two-seat shop where Gary and his son Josh Beshears spend their days keeping many of the citizens of their community neat and tight.

News coverage of the rage of hurricane IRMA was on the TV and both barber seats were busy when I arrived. The barber shop is the perfect place for a story teller to hang out and for those who prefer to listen it’s hard to find a better show. Barbershop storytelling is judged more so on delivery rather than verifiable facts. While a good tall tale is welcome and celebrated the more weighted issues of life are also part of conversation.

One customer was sharing the story of a recent heart problem that has changed his life. We all celebrated with him in that his only real vice to battle is a half-gallon of ice-cream every night. This real-life issue was talked about, but before long things shifted to the story of barber Josh as a young boy in school, when he wrote a story about Peggy the witch that lived in a shack on the side the mountain

As the story goes Gary takes young Josh on an adventure to the Big Ivy area which is near the Wilkes and Ashe County line to learn about the legend of Peggy the witch who apparently once lived in the region in the late 1800’s and possessed the ability to do many things including shape shifting in the form of various animals.

At a certain point in the trip Gary spots his pickup near Phillip’s Gap and yells out the window “Peggy,” and as if on cue a deer walks out of the woods and stands in the road in front of them and stairs at Gary and Josh, but did not come close to them and then walked away. Gary drives on, however Josh wants to see if it will happen again.

At first Gary did not want to call out again, Josh was persistent so Gary stopped again and yelled out Peggy. Once again, as if on cue, a Groundhog appeared in the road in front of them, stared at them and then walked away. This happened again with a rabbit. It was at this time, they decided not to call for Peggy again.

Josh and Gary both told me that this was a true story regarding the animals. Josh wrote the story down with more history about Peggy. The story of the animals and other stories of fear and dread that Peggy stirred in other locals was published in the book, Hometown Memories, Blue Ridge Tales, published 1996 page 64-65.

The good thing about waiting for the barber’s chair is that you get to hear all the great stories and you know it will soon be your turn for an old fashion hair cut including warm shaving cream on your neck with a straight razor perfect line. You also have a chance to share your tale of the day and if you need it, you’ve got a few pals who will listen when you need it most.

When done, my seat was filled by a NC Army Guardsman, he required a simple shave, but at the Second Street Barber Shop a quick visit is not really an option. The stories take too long and who would want to rush something so important.

When folk artist Charlie Frye heard this story, he was inspired to create a painting to accompany this column. Thanks Charlie!

Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its eighth year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at 12:00 noon. For more on the show, visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com, You can email Carl White at [email protected].

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