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prettyboyxshea · 5 years

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Shea/Elliot - Pre-Punishment

Date: 7/17

Where: Elliot’s room @switchysmythe

Happenings: Emotional break up sex.

Shea didn't know what he was doing. He knew he had to report for the punishment, but this seemed more important. He arrived at Elliot's door, having no idea if he was even going to be there, but he had to try anyway. He knocked softly and leaned against the frame, hoping this wasn't a complete failure.

Elliot frowned when he heard a knock at his door. He hadn’t been expecting anyone. He puts his phone down on the couch and gets up. He’s got a pair of grey sweatpants on and a thin t-shirt, his eyes half wet and half dry from his shower. When he pulls the door open to see Shea, his heart drops a little bit. He clears his throat and runs a hand through his hair. “Uh, hi, did you forget something?” he asks wondering if Shea hadn’t took everything when he came to get his stuff.

Shea licked his lips, nervous to be there at all but he couldn't hide the way his heart picked up at the sight of the other. "I just..." and he didn't have words for what he was there for, didn't know himself until he was stepping into Elliot's space and wrapping his arms around his middle. "I'm so sorry," he said softly, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes, "I'm so needy and dI had to see you and I know that's not fair. I'm about to be punished and I had to see you first."

Elliot really wasn’t expecting the hug from Shea and honestly he kinda wanted to move away from him but he didn’t because the submissive was apologising and he had promised to still be there for him. He sighs quietly and wraps an arm around him as he moves them backwards so he can shut the door. “Why are you being punished?” he asks, ignoring everything else because this wasn’t fair but he didn’t want to argue.

Shea knew this was bad and he couldn't seem to stop himself from staying wrapped around the other, pressing his body firmly into the familiarity of the one he did love. He rested his face against his neck and couldn't stop his lips from brushing over the warm skin, the scent and taste everything he'd desired over the last week. "For mouthing off," he whispered, speaking against his skin. A hand slid to rest at the small of Elliot's back, fingers gripping to keep them from parting.

This used to be something that came so naturally, so easy, holding Shea, but it was tainted a little bit for him, knowing Shea had ended it because he wasn’t good enough for him. He didn’t agree with punishments so he didn’t agree with Shea being punished for mouthing off. “Seems kinda ridiculous,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. He lets out a breath as he feels Shea’s hand on the small of his back. Shea obviously just wanted someone to be there for him before it and it kind of annoys Elliot that he’ll still come to him for this but doesn’t want to be with him. “Why you not got a skirt on, anyway?” he wonders.

Shea hadn't expected it to hurt so much when Elliot didn't respond to his needds and tears filled his eyes, making him cry all over the boy yet again. "It was," he sniffled quickly. He looked down at his clothes for a moment before wrapping himself up in the Switch once again. "I just needed to know it's still okay with you," he whispered, "You're the one who... you always let me know it was okay. And I didn't realize... I didn't know it would hurt this much, needing you in my life."

Elliot can’t hear this, how hard it was for Shea, because he ended it. He’d gone from sad to angry at the situation over the past week. “It is okay,” he tells him as he moves his hand to brushes his fingers through Shea’s hair. “And it always will be, okay?” he says as he pulls back slightly so he can wipe at his tears. “Whenever you think it isn’t okay, just remember I think it is, and so does everyone else here.”

Shea felt broken for the boy he'd hurt so badly and he knew it, knew Elliot was lying to him. "I wish so much it was you," he whispered, "I wish... fuck, I need you so much and I hate not having you there through this, that I can't come to you anymore." He brought his forehead to rest against Elliot's, breathing rough against his lips, "I need you so badly."

“You can come to me,” Elliot tells him. “I told you I’d always be there for you, and I mean it. My feelings haven’t changed,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. He can’t just switch his feelings off even if that would probably make the whole thing easier. Shea’s words, and the way they’re spoken against his lips, go straight to his cock. He swallows thickly before he thinks ’fuck it’ and crashes his lips against Shea’s. He presses him against the wall, covering his body with his own as he deepens the kiss.

Elliot's words were comforting and something he needed in a time like this, but having him kissing him, something he so desperately wanted was unlike the words, comforting in other ways. His hands slid up the back of his shirt, gripping his skin tight to his own body, one of his legs hitched over Elliot's hips to feel him closer. He kissed hungrily, as though it was the last kiss he'd ever have. "Fuck," he moaned, kissing him again and again.

Elliot knew this probably wasn’t the best idea, it was already hard enough without adding more complications to it. He couldn’t help himself though, Shea was here and he couldn’t not kiss him. He’s breathless as they kiss, his hands grabbing wherever they can reach, moving from his hair and down to his hips, one of his hands gripped at the thigh of the leg over him. He gets lost in the moment of kissing him, knowing it might be the last but at least they’ll get a last. He wants to say he misses him but the words don’t come instead he just deepens the kiss, feeling possessive and needy.

Shea knew this was bad, he was taking too much but now that he was there, he couldn't stop. Feeling Elliot's hands all over him, like he was feeling just as despserate was so good and Shea reveled in it. He moaned against his lips when he felt that grip to his thigh and took the opportunity to grind his hips into Elliot's, wanting him to feel how turned on he'd made him.

Elliot moans into his mouth as he grinds his hip up against himself. “Fuck,” he moans against his lips before he’s moving his hand to press against Shea’s cock, palming him through his pants. His own cock is growing hard knowing that Shea is hard for him. He pulls back slightly to undo Shes’s pants. “Too many clothes,” he tells him as he works on getting them down, he’s being fast and rough but he can’t help it he just wants to feel him. Once the pants are off his hand is back on Shea’s, hand curling around his cock, stroking his thumb against the tip to tease him. His lips find Shea’s neck, sucking and kissing and licking as his hand works on his length.

Shea kept waiting for the moment this was going to end and Elliot was going to push him away, like he should. But it didn't. Feeling the hand against his cock was incredible in this moment but being undressed by the other was even better. "Yes, too many," he whimpered, holding onto him as the clothes were strewn aside and he felt that glorious hand on his cock. He pushed his own palm to Elliot's length, stroking through the clothes as he moaned at the attention Elliot was giving him elsewhere.

“Fuck,” Elliot moans against the other’s neck as he feels pressure to his own cock, his hips bucking forward. He doesn’t really care about himself right now, though, not when his hand is on Shea. He feels hot all over, stomach doing that flippy thing it always does when he’s with the submissive. He gets to his knees, hand still working on his cock as he uses his other hand to push his shirt up so he can kiss over his stomach, lips working their way down until his mouth is inches away form his cock, he peers up at him as he takes the tip into his mouth, cheeks hallowing as he sucks. His hand still stoking the base of his cock as he begins to take him into his mouth, his eyes never leaving Shea’s face.

Shea kept moving his hand until Elliot moved away and he watched with awe as the other dropped to his knees. He couldn't look away from the beautiful sight of the man on his knees for him. "Daddy," he whimpered, the title falling without a thought as his lips finally found Shea's cock. He wanted to buck his hips, encourage him but at the same time, couldn't without permission, so he forced himself to stay still, his eyes never moving from the other's face.

Elliot groans around his cock at the word uttered from the submissive, it only encourages him, his cock twitching in interest. He feels like he might fall apart just from sucking his cock. He’s missed this, though, and it hasn’t even really been that long but god he craves it and he hadn’t realised just how much until right now. He pulls back for a moment to breathe, hand still working on his cock. “Fuck my mouth, baby,” he says before his mouth is back on his mouth, taking him in again.

Shea's moans only increased the more his cock was sucked by the other, and he missed this feeling. When he pulled back for a breath, Shea reached to brush his thumb along the other's lip, able to feel his spit there. At the order, all he could do was nod. He slipped his hand into Elliot's hair and then thrust his hips forward, bucking slowly at first but gaining more momentum until he was fully fucking his mouth, forcing him to take all of Shea's length. He could feel it all over and he groaned happily. "Fuck me," he managed to say, "Daddy, you gonna fuck me?"

Elliot lets Shea fuck his mouth and as he does he runs his hands up and down his thighs before reaching up to grab his ass. At the words Elliot moans around his cock before he pulls off, jaw aching slightly but in a good way. “Yes, baby, I’m gonna fuck you,” he tells him, his voice low and hoarse. He stands up and takes his sweatpants off, revealing his own hard cock. He then tugs Shea over to the couch before getting some lube.

Shea wasn't used to this side of things, being allowed to fuck someone's mouth, but it felt incredible. Elliot kept touching him, encouraging him until he was pulling off and Shea knew what was coming. He watched him stand up and take off his pants, Shea's eyes on the man's cock and not the rest of him. He was pushed over to the couch and he bent over, showing off his ass as he waited for Elliot to join him.

Elliot groans at the sight of Shea bent over for him. “So fucking beautiful,” he praises quietly as he runs his hand over the submissive’s ass, squeezing it possessively. He then lubes his fingers up, pressing a digit against his hole. He works his finger inside of him as the other hand squeezes and caresses his cheek. He adds a second finger, stretching him open.

Shea didn't want this to end and reached back to part his cheeks to give Elliot better view of him. He moaned as he was stretched, knowing what was coming next and he was aching to be filled by the other. "Oh, god, please," he began to beg, "Please, please, fuck me."

How could Elliot say no? Shea was so needy, as always, and he couldn’t not fuck this beautiful boy. He knew it’d make it harder for him, make him miss Shea even more than he already did but he was lost in the moment. “Fuck,” he moans as he presses his fingers in deeper before he pulls them out completely. He adds more lube to his hand and strokes his cock before lining it up with Shea’s hold. He grips hold of his hips and pushes inside of him, groaning at the tightness.

Shea cried out in pleasure as he was finally filled, feeling like he hadn't had this in ages. He pushed back on the cock filling him, fucking himself as though Elliot were a dildo for him to use. He was writhing from the need of it all and he was gasping for breaths. "Thank you, Daddy," he said quickly, still fucking himself, "Thank you for your cock."

Elliot’s cock was so hard as he fucked into Shea, the push and pull of Elliot fucking into him and Shea doing the same was amazing. His fingers dig into the skin of Shea’s hips as he fucks him. It isn’t slow or careful, it’s all heat and passions and rough and he’s breathless. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he grits out. He runs the palm of his hand over the submissive’s left ass cheek before he brings his hand up and slaps it down onto his ass.

Shea moaned deeply as he was spanked, and he had to stop his own movements, completely taken over for the feel of Elliot fucking him. "Please," he begged, wanting to be spanked again and again, loving the feel of it all. He was writhing beneath him, overwhelmed in all the ways he enjoyed with the other male. He could only hold onto the couch as clenched his ass around the other's cock.

Elliot does it again, and again, make the spanks a little harder each time as he continues to fuck him. He doesn’t want this moment to end but at the same time he wants to bring Shea to the edge, make him fall apart at his hands. “Such a good girl, so pretty,” he moans even though Shea hasn’t put his girl clothes on, he still wanted him to know he was the prettiest girl.

Shea moaned with each spank, loving this side of Elliot and he wanted more, but knew not to ask for it. He was fully hard and he loved that he could only take what the other was offering him. "Good girl," he repeated, lost in the intesity of it all, "For you, Daddy. Always for you." He arched his back, pushing into the thrusts and clenching his ass as his orgasm neared. "So close, Daddy," he moaned loudly.

Fuck, did Elliot miss this. Missed Shea calling him Daddy, missed him falling apart for him. “You are, baby, always such a good girl for me,” he says as he spanks his ass again, even harsher this time because Shea’s close and he knows the other likes it. Even if he can’t be as rough as the submissive would like, he wanted to try - he knew it seemed pointless now, though, Shea had made his decision. But if this was the last time, he wanted to make it good for him. He thrusts his hips harder, faster, slamming into the other’s ass as he fucks him with all he has. “You can come, baby, come for me, pretty girl,” he says as his hand smacks against his ass again

"Oh, Daddy," he gasped, feeling the pain etched from the spankings all over his ass. It didn't take long for him to reach his release, the mixture of pain and pleasure all that he needed and it was wonderful coming from the man he care for so deeply. "Please, you too," he urged, his ass clenching as he came, "Please Daddy, wanna feel you come."

As Shea came, Elliot doesn’t let up on his thrusts. He’s close himself and the noises coming from the submissive were just helping him along. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good,” he groans in a low voice. When he feels him clench, his hips jerk out of rhythm with how good it feels. “Fuck,” he moans again, hips bucking widely before he feels his stomach pool with heat as his orgasm hits him, his legs practically shake as he comes, hips slowing.

As he was filled with Elliot's cum, Shea knew it was different and tears filled his eyes, because this wasn't like any time before. He held onto the couch, hoping to hide his emotions as he came down from his orgasm and he knew Elliot would be pulling out and that would be it. He'd taken advantage of him worse than before and he was still an asshole. "I'm sorry," he managed to whisper, a few tears slipping down his cheeks.

Elliot didn’t know what to do when Shea started to cry. He felt like an idiot as he pulled out of the submissive. This wasn’t supposed to be how it went. He takes a few moments to compose himself because he’s not really sure what to do. “Why are you sorry?” he asks as he puts his sweatpants back on and runs his hand over Shea’s back.

Shea stood up and turned around in his state of undress and instead of covering himself, wrapped his arms around Elliot's middle. "It felt so good and I know I never should've wnated this," he whispered, "But I just miss you and I hate that I've hurt you. And now this. I know it's my fault and I'm so, so sorry, Daddy. I'm so sorry."

Elliot wraps his arms around Shea, hugging him tight. He doesn’t want him to feel bad even if Elliot is hurt, it’s not actually Shea’s fault. “Hey, stop saying you’re sorry, please,” he says. “You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s not your fault, Shea. You want what you want and that’s not me and that’s just the way it is,” he says with a shrug of his shoulders. “You don’t have to feel bad about that.” He brushes his fingers through his hair and presses a kiss to the side of his head, sighing quietly.

"I still want you, even if we don't want the exact same things. I still love you. I mean that," he said softly, sniffling against him, "And now I have to go and be punished and I hate that I have to leave you like that. I wish you could Dom me, like really, Daddy. That's why I split off but I still have no one to do it and it hurts everywhere."

The fact Shea wasn’t even doing what he wanted even after ending things with Elliot didn’t make the situation better, it made it worse honestly. “Yeah, I know, I wish I could too,” he says quietly. He can’t do this, he feels panicky all over. He swallows thickly. “You good for after the punishment, though, yeah? You gonna be getting proper after care?”

"Yes, Sir. Proper aftercare and all. No need to worry," he said, pulling back and putting his clothes back into place. He cleared his throat as he realized he stopped crying. Wiping at his cheeks, he sighed, "I'm going to clean up before I go." ANd with that, went to the bathroom without another word to wash himself and his face, before returning to Elliot. He had the need to leave, so he kissed him again and walked to the door.

“Yeah, well I still will worry,” Elliot admits. Just like Shea, his own feelings hadn’t gone away either. He still cared for him. “Okay, baby,” he says quietly. He watches as Shea walks to the bathroom before he runs a hand through his his hair, letting out a frustrated groan. He flops back on the couch as he waits for Shea to wash up. At the kiss, he lets out a happy hum before another sigh falls from his lips as Shea walks to the door.

#shea:ftf #ftf:elliot #switchysmythe

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prettyboyxshea · 5 years

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Sheiot // Making Up // 6/4

Shea and Elliot make up with promises. @switchysmythe

Shea didn't know what he was doing at the Switch's door, coming unnounced, but after admitting all he had to the other, there was a longing to see him in person. He might be busy or with another person, but he couldn't think about that. Only of the man he'd come to care for so much, wanting his safety above all others. He knocked and kneeled in front of the door, praying he wasn't stupid for doing this.

Elliot felt like his emotions had done a complete 360 over the past twenty-four hours. This morning he was ridiculously pissed off, still frustrated from his argument with Shea. Classes went by in a daze like they always did and then he had Franco to keep him company. He was just getting ready to go crash a Seb's so he could annoy his brother when he heard the knock at the door. He was surprised to see Shea. "Hey..." he greets. He knows their conversation had been pretty intense but he hadn't expected to see him.

Shea stood up slowly, looking up at Elliot with wide eyes. "Hello, Daddy," he said, the title slipping from his mouth before he could stop himself. The other hadn't made a move to touch him and Shea was aching for it, so he slowly moved forward until he could wrap his arms around the Switch's middle, his face pressed to his neck to breathe him in. "I don't want to sleep alone," he sasid softly, "I need you."

"Hey, sorry," Elliot says once Shea is hugging him. He wraps his arms around the submissive and hugs him tightly. "You just caught me off guard," he says as he ushers him into his dorm and shuts the door behind him. He presses a kiss to Shea's forehead as he pulls back, brushing his fingers through his hair. "I was just about to go see Seb, I'm having a movie night with him and Ol," he tells him, feeling guilty.

Shea nodded his head in understanding, but instead of pulling away, he brought his hands up to Elliot's neck and yanked him in for a rough kiss. "Fuck, I'm so sorry," he said in between kisses, "I thought you wanted me gone and it sucked so much. I barely slept. I haven't eaten." He was admitting too much again, so he tightened his arms around Elliot's neck and deepened the kiss, taking what he could in the little time they had.

"It's okay," Elliot says, more of a mumble against the submissive's lips s he kissed him back, fingers tangling in his hair as he did. He sighs quietly at his words as he hugs him again. "Hey, it's okay, I'm here," he assures him quietly. "You can stay here, okay? I'll be back later," he tells him. He was planning on staying at Seb's but he didn't want to leave Shea alone, not after how everything had gone down.

Shea knew he shouldn't have come the moment he realized that Elliot had plans. Of course he did. He was more than attractive, appealing to more people than just himself. He nodded his head slowly, not wanting to part from the Switch, but knew it wasn't his choice. He leaned forward to kiss him again, sliding his hands beneath the back of Elliot's shirt and his fingertips gripped the warm skin as he kissed deeply. "Just another couple minutes," he murmured, nipping at Elliot's bottom lip.

Elliot easily wrapped his arms around Shea as he kissed him back slowly. “It’s fine,” he tells him as he runs his fingers through the submissive’s hair. He doesn’t really want to leave him but he also hasn’t hung out with Ollie and Seb for a while. “You can stay here tonight, if you want to. I will be back later.”

Shea hung his head, but nodded slowly. "Yes, I understand," he said softly, looking back up to the Switch. He brought his hand to rest at his chest and a slow smirk formed, "You'll come back to my cum on your pillow."

Elliot lets out a quiet laugh at his words, he gently tugs at his hair as he nips at his bottom lip. “Mm, I can’t wait, baby,” he says, voice low. He’s glad they seem to be back to normal but he knows it probably isn’t going to be that simple but he’s not giving up on him, he wants Shea in his life and he wants to be with him, he just needs to do it slowly.

Shea hummed contentedly at the bite to his lip and he still hasn't let go of Elliot yet. "Just a quick fuck," he pleads with him, "Right here. Please, Daddy. We both need it." He knows he can't get the Switch to agree and they have all night, but he wants to try anyway.

Half of Elliot wants to say no so he can take his time but the other half well, he always wants to say yes to Shea. “A quick fuck? Ever the romantic,” he teases as he runs a hand down his side and around to his ass, pressing close to him as he squeezes it. “Or,” he drawls. “I could get you hard and make you wait for it.”

"Fuck daddy, please, let me please you. I'll be so quick," he murmured, so needy for him and he writhed into the touch to his ass. "I'm already stretched, Daddy. I was playing earlier, thinking of you fucking me so hard." He kissed his throat and nipped at the skin, trying to entice him further.

Elliot groans at the submissive’s words, he was a damn tease. Elliot so wanted to just bend him over and fuck him before he went but if he did that he wouldn’t actually want to leave him. “I don’t want to fuck you and then just leave, baby, I want to be here with you after it,” he tells him as he runs his hands up his back before tangling his fingers in his hair. “I won’t be long, okay? And then I’ll come back here and I’ll fuck you all night long.”

"Okay," he said sadly, unable to hide his disappointment. "I'll be so good for you when you get back," he promised him, leaning up to kiss him again, slowly and with the emotion that he felt. "So good, Daddy," he repeated, and then took a step back to create enough space to calm himself and his needs.

Elliot did hate to disappoint Shea but he really wouldn’t be able to drag himself away if he started. “Sorry, baby,” he says against his lips before he kisses him back, matching the submissive’s emotion. “You are always so good for me, so I don’t doubt that for a second,” he assures him. He brushes his thumb against his cheek as he puts space between them.

"Have fun with your brothers," he said, meaning it. He kissed him once more and then stepped away to lean at the wall. "I'll see you soon," Shea softly with a small smile, "I'll wait here for you."

Elliot smiles against his lips before kissing him back. “Thank you,” he says soft and quiet before he pulls back from him. “I’ll see you soon,” he says, mirroring the submissive’s words before he grabs his jumper and puts it on. He presses one final kiss to the corner of Shea’s mouth before he leaves his room.

#shea:ftf #ftf:elliot #switchysmythe

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prettyboyxshea · 5 years

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6/3 - Shelliot

@switchysmythe

Shea and Elliot have their first fight, and it’s a big one.

Shea lie in Elliot's bed, just wearing his panties and one of the other's shirts. He kept resting his head to the other's shoulder, content in the feeling of safety that this brought. "Do you think I'll ever get claimed?" he asked softly, staring up at the ceiling.

Elliot was content, just laying there with Shea. He’d become a permanent fixtures in Elliot’s life and it was nice. It was something he hadn’t had before. At the question, Elliot looks sideways at the submissive. “What’s brought this on?” he asks. Elliot doesn’t let himself think about claims yet but he wasn’t ignorant to the fact other people thought about them a lot.

"I just wondered," he said with a shrug, as though it didn't matter in the least, even though it truly did. He'd taken the class for those meant for auctions and knew that his future wasn't set in stone, with Elliot or anyone else. "Do you ever think about it, Sir?" he said quietly, not wording the question he was truly asking. [i]Do you ever think of me?[i]

Elliot was silent for a few moments, not really sure what to say. Sure, it came up in his mind but he never really let himself think too much about it. “Not massively, no,” he admits. He knows he’s going to need to, soon probably, because it’s the whole damn reason they’re here. “How often do you think about it? Or worry about it?” He knows it’s probably worry.

Shea didn't want to admit how often the fears filled his thoughts, but Elliot was right there, grounding him. He slowly turned on his side to face Elliot, wanting to see his face. "All the time," he finally spoke, "No one's ever wanted me and you do. But is it just for now? For fun... like I'm a fling?"

He hears Shea move in bed before he looks over at him. He’s still laying on his neck but he turns his head to look at him. “All the time?” he repeats. He couldn’t ever imagine worrying about something so much. At the question’s he closes his eyes for a moment. They’re big questions to him. “All we have is now, the present,” he says as he opens his eyes again. “And this is fun but you’re not just a fling. I don’t like flings spend almost every waking minute with me.”

Shea nodded his head, feeling disappointed that Elliot wouldn't say more. He turned into his back, no longer laying against the Switch as he stared up at the ceiling. The sex was great, but there had to be more than that for him. He felt that if that part ended, Elliot wouldn't have a reason to keep him around anymore, considering all the other prospects he had. "I understand," he finally said just to say it, just to appease the other.

Elliot sighs quietly when Shea turns away from him. He wasn’t good at this, at talking about his feelings or the future or what he wanted. He didn’t know how to put things into words. “Shea, come on,” he says as he sits up, leaning against the head of the bed. “I want you, okay? You know I do.” He doesn’t mind telling Shea, doesn’t have an issue with reminding him when he needs it but he’s not sure what Shea actually wants from him.

Shea turned his head to look at Elliot when he moved, watching him for a few moments before staring at the ceiling again. "You want me in your bed, Sir," he sighed softly, "You want to fuck me, but you'll get bored of that. You will and then we're back to square one. No claims. No potentials. Nothing."

“When have I ever said I just want you in my bed?” Elliot asks. He wants to know why Shea thinks this, where he’s pulling it from because Elliot was sure he hadn’t been giving that impression but maybe he was wrong.

"Everytime we're together we have sex," Shea shrugged his shoulders, "I just figured that it's the way you wanted it, so that's what I do. I make you horny, we fuck and then you go out and fuck someone else." He knew he was being cruel but it was that point when Elliot didn't want to commit and Shea wanted him to, badly.

Elliot was trying really had not to get pissed off but it was quietly brewing. “So, you’re just assuming and then putting that all on me as if it’s my fault?” he asks, keeping his voice level. “I never said I just wanted to have sex with you. You assumed. And yes I go out a lot, I probably always will because it’s what I like to do. I...” he trails off and sighs. “I always come back to you, don’t I? You’re the one that stopped at Ryder’s so you can do that but I can’t and you’re the one who said you’re in...” he stops himself feeling himself getting pissed off. “I don’t want to argue.” He says instead as he gets out of bed.

Shea couldn't get a word of argument in with the way that Elliot was speaking, just as he'd expected him to react. It ached to know that he'd learned that much about him and now it was going to end. It always did. He swallowed back a sob as Elliot exited the room, but he didn't go after him. There was no point. it was inevitable that this was going to be this way. Instead he curled under the covers, able to smell the Switch's scent as silent tears began to fall, wetting the pillow beneath his head.

Elliot was frustrated. He had to control his breathing, stood in his kitchen. He didn’t want to butt heads with him, that was the last thing he wanted. He stands in the kitchen for no longer than ten minutes before he’s heading back to his bedroom. “Do you still love Ryder?” he asks. He wasn’t going to mention it, ever, to be honest, but he wasn’t going to stand here and act like he was in the wrong with what their relationship was.

Shea was still curled into a ball, the blanket hiding his face as he heard Elliot enter the room again. He didn't wipe at his face, so it wouldn't be obvious he was crying. Waiting until his throat was clear enough for him to speak through his quiet crying, he said evenly, "No. I'm not." He stayed in the same position, feeling so lost without the Switch at his side, "I loved him once. Never really told him. But he never felt the same."

“Do you even remember telling him you were in love with him during the punishment?” Elliot asks. Was the fact Ryder didn’t want him back the reason he fell into Elliot? Was he second best to someone Shea actually wanted? He hoped he wasn’t. He can’t be second best to someone. He runs a hand through his hair before letting out a sigh. Maybe he was being hypocritical, he was still sleeping with other people, he was sure Shea was too. But then again he never put Shea after them. He was always first in his mind.

"Yes," Shea croaked, closing his eyes tightly as though it would keep him from crying harder. Elliot wasn't making this end any easier, and he didn't know what to do. Normally the other would just leave and that was that, but Elliot was still there, arguing with him. "I slept with him one night before the punishment," he admitted in a soft voice, "But it wasn't the same, because I kept comparing him to you. I kept thinking of all the things you do better than him. Okay. That's it."

This is why Elliot didn’t do feelings, they were always so damn messy and stressful and he didn’t think that was the case between him and Shea. He was obviously naive to think they were any different. “I told you before we even started any of this, I don’t do second best,” he tells him. “I’m not being second best to him, Shea.” He deserves more than that. “Okay? So if I am second best, tell me now. Don’t let me get in deeper and then spring it on me.”

Shea sat up with a start, growing so frustrated with Elliot for dragging this out. "I just fucking said it. You were better. You are number one. I don't want him. I want you. Only you. That's fucking it. So get over him, because I have." He wiped at his face and threw himself back down into the bed, pulling the covers over his head.

Elliot scoffs. “You are so not allowed to be pissed off with me right now,” he says. He’s not shouting but he sounds pissed off. “The punishment was like not even a week ago and that’s when you said it, Shea, so excuse me for being worried about it. How would you like it, hm? If you heard me say that to someone?”

"Yes, I am," Shea yelled through the blanket, "You're supposed to be dumping me and instead we're yelling about some guy I don't have feelings for. The dream I had was from months ago, back when I first returned to the institution. It was a past thing, not a present thing, Sir. So shut the fuck up and dump me and we can both move on like normal people."

“How can I dump you? We’re not even together!” Elliot argues back and regrets it instantly because he didn’t mean it the way it came out. “Fuck, I’m sorry. That came out wrong,” he says letting out a heavy sigh. Again, this is why Elliot didn’t talk about emotional stuff, he wasn’t very good at it. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded,” he adds knowing he can’t really take it back and the state Shea is in he doubts he’ll even accept his apology. “Can we just... not argue? I don’t want to argue.”

He heard the words Elliot said, so harsh and beyond anything he expected, and he couldn't understand anything else the Switch was saying. He was beyond hurt and he climbed out of the bed and ripped off Elliot's shirt and searched for his clothing. "I'm going back to my room," he said, voice muffled through the tears and he didn't try to hide them. There was no time for that as he roughly pulled on his jeans and boy clothes, the things he should've been wearing all the time. He wasn't a pretty girl and he couldn't be Elliot's, no matter how he thought he had been.

Elliot felt even more guilty as the scene unfolded in front of him. As soon as the words left his lips he knew they would affect Shea badly. “Please don’t,” he practically begs. He doesn’t want Shea to leave, he doesn’t want things to end between them, that’s not even on the list of things he wants. Nowhere close. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like it sounded. Please just don’t leave angry.”

"We're not together. I shouldn't call you Daddy. I can't be your pretty girl," Shea sniffled as he finished dressing. He wanted nothing more than to be in Elliot's arms again but he couldn't, "I wanted to be with only you. But I misunderstood what we were doing. I'm the stupid one. So I'm going and I won't be back."

“You haven’t misunderstood,” Elliot argues. “I’ve been nothing but honest with you! You’re blowing this way out of proportion.” He just wanted to rewind this whole argument, this wasn’t how things were supposed to go. They weren’t supposed to be arguing over something that shouldn’t even be an argument.

"Why don't you want me?" he asked him, crying even harder now. "It's the same thing over again. I move on and find someone else who doesn't want to have me. This is me being honest with you. I want you. I have ffeelings for you. Things that mean more than claiming and shit."

“I do want you!” Elliot says, voice a little calmer than before. He’s tired, he doesn’t want to shout and argue. “I do! I just... Shea, it’s a lot, and it’s new and I just want to take it slow, that’s all. I’m not saying I don’t want you and things are going nowhere because I don’t know where this is gonna go, but I like you. I like us.”

"But we're not together, right? I'm just a notch on your bedpost, another boy you like to fuck," he shouted, uncaring that Elliot was talking calmer. He found his school bag and pulled it close to his chest, just for something to hang on to. "I was stupid enough to think that I was your boyfriend. how fucked up is that?" he asked him, "And here you are, unwilling to even commit to that. So fuck you."

Elliot didn’t know what to say to make Shea actually hear what he was saying. “We talked about what we were, I thought we were on the same page,” he replies because he did think that. He thought they were just moving together knowing where the other stood and knowing there was something between them past just sex. “I’m not unwilling,” he argues. He’s just scared but he doesn’t think Shea will hear or understand that in this moment.

"I thought I was your boyfriend," Shea said, voice defeated now and he couldn't even look in Elliot's direction, "I didn't realize we were still stuck in grade school. You can't even call me that, so I can't trust that you're going to change your mind. Me sleeping in your bed at night is only going to happen if we're together. Actually together." He sniffled and looked towards the front door, "I never cared that you kept fucking other people. I knew your stance on that, but I thought that I was yours. And I'm not. And now you can't even dump me because we're nothing. I guess we never were."

Elliot rubs at his eyes once Shea has finished speaking. He didn’t think he was being entirely fair about the situation, Elliot had never done this before, he thought he deserved some leeway about that but apparently not. “We’re not nothing, and I don’t think that’s fair of you to say that.” He really doesn’t know what to do to make this better or easier. He wants a fucking drink, though, he knows that much. And Shea apparently doesn’t trust him. It makes his stomach turn. “I’m sorry,” he says because he doesn’t know what else to do or say. Shea won’t listen and asking him to stay hasn’t helped either so he’s lost.

Shea couldn't speak anymore. He went around the dorm, picking up every item he could find that belonged to him. He didn't say anything else as he left quickly, still crying and unable to believe he'd been so incredibly stupid.

#shea:ftf #ftf:elliot #switchysmythe

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