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writingcommons-blog1 · 6 years

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“Major Defect” by Nicole D.

NICOLE I could never, in the six months I had worked for Menards, understand why it was necessary to roll the entire defective product bin all the way to the back of the store when there were only three or four items sitting in the bottom. I mean, honestly, what’s the harm in letting them chill in there overnight so we can fill it up the next day? It would make way more sense to roll it back when it was full, but I digress. It wasn’t my job to dictate these kinds of things; only to move the damn things.

Two people, each from different alternating departments, were assigned to take the two large bins back to the trash compactor. On the day this story began, the plumbing department and the cashiers fell victim to the rotation. After [not] much deliberation amongst the front-end managers, yours truly was selected to take one for the cashiers. Along with me was a young man, about my age, named Tyler. He was your typical guy who could invoke a ‘holy shit, he’s hot’ reaction from a number of women, myself included. Nothing like a tall, slender man with reddish brown hair and just enough facial hair to call a goatee to get you motivated. Come on, if that wasn’t going to motivate me to take one of those huge defect bins across the entire store, nothing was.

“Are there really only a couple things in this frickin’ bin?” he groaned.

“Yea, but sadly we still have to take them back,” I shrugged. I could feel my face was on fire and yet, no matter how much I tried to look down or avoid direct eye contact, somehow I still felt like it was obvious.

“Oh, I am not taking that back with just that shit in it. Wait here.”

“Um - ok,” I muttered as he walked away. Those cowboy boots made his ass look great, not that it was important, but damn was it a good view to pass the time while I waited. As I stood there I could hear footsteps approaching behind me. Since everyone was hustling around the store trying to get closing duties done, I didn't think anything of it until someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turn around to find the assistant manager of the cashiers, Nathan.

"Hey, who did they send from plumbing to take the defect bins back with you?" he asked.

"Tyler, why?"

"Oh, I was just curious. Are you two friends?"

"We just met, so I wouldn't quite say that."

"Ok, well I just wanna let you know that he's gay."

Gay? Well fuck. Skip to the third strike guys, because I'm already out. At the same time, however, I was really curious as to why Nathan was telling me this.

"Wow, ok. Is there a reason that is important to this conversation?" I asked.

"Everyone knows. Just wanted to keep you in the loop," he replied before walking away. Hearing his explanation really didn't provide any kind of closure to my question, but it did get me thinking. If Nathan is telling me that Tyler is gay the first time I ever get to interact with him, then how many other people talk about his sexuality behind his back? Nathan met his girlfriend down the entryway and I could see them talking and looking back at me. I guess that answers my own question; it must be everyone.

Minutes later he returned with a car full of dirty and broken parts that had pink defect stickers all over them.

“What the hell is this, Tyler?” I laughed.

“If there is actually shit to take back, I’ll take it back. There wasn’t any, so I found some. Just call me Major Defect!”

“How did you get all of this?” I asked through the laughter at his new nickname.

“I have my ways, Boo,” he said with a wink. I got all giddy inside because now I had a pet name. I guess we are friends.

“You are a lifesaver, Babe.” I could get away with saying that, right?

“Babe?” he asked with a confused look in his eyes. Damn, I guess not.

“I call all my friends that, male and female.”

“Oh, cool then. I have never known anyone who actually does that!”

“Really? I’m from a small town, so we call everyone Babe and Honey. Baby is for significant others only.”

“Believe me, I had never heard of anything like that until I met my boyfriend, Casey. He calls everyone ‘Dear’.”

Boyfriend? Nathan wasn't kidding, I guess.

“Wow!” I exclaimed with a super fake smile. “I use that one too.”

At this point I was pretty bummed. Not because I had realized that I was talking about the insane hotness of a gay guy, but at the fact that I now knew everyone in the entire store knew and was talking about it. At least, on the bright side, a hilarious friendship blossomed from the fun, albeit embarrassing, experience.

TYLER "Hey Boo!" I shouted from my desk in plumbing. Nicole was bringing some returns back from the service desk. Her arms were full of PVC pipe. I was on my way out to have lunch with Casey, so I went over to her to have a quick chat.

"Hey Babe," she said, "what's up?"

"What are you doing tonight? I know you procrastinate just as bad as I do, so you won't judge me for this. Christmas is only a week away and I need some help getting my tree home and getting ready. You in?"

"I am into it, around it, and all up in it! I'll follow you home after work."

She was smiling at the idea, her smile almost as bright as the single diamond in the center of her cross necklace. Suddenly I began to think about last Christmas. Casey tried to call his mother about coming home for the holidays. She simply told him that it’s Jesus’ birthday and Jesus doesn’t approve of homosexuals. Apparently being gay means you can’t celebrate Christmas now.

"That sounds great, but there is something I need to ask you."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Are you religious?"

"Well that's a bit random, but yes, I'm Christian."

"Shit," I muttered. Casey is going to hate me for being friends with her. Now what?

"Don't tell me you're going to lump me in with all the gay shaming sign holders."

"No, it's just my boyfriend Casey. He's going to be home tonight and he is very anti religious."

"What led to that?"

"Let's just say he had a really rough transition when he first started college here."

"Oh, that's too bad. I just won't mention anything about God around him. Not my lover, not my life," she said. I have always loved how non judgemental she is. That's probably why we are such good friends.

"Ok, and don't say anything about being Christian or going to church either. He hasn't ever met a Christian who doesn't immediately tell him he's going to hell," I explained.

"Well then we will just leave that out when you introduce us. If we decide to tell him, maybe then we just shouldn't lead with that information. Save it for later on after he likes me."

I like the way she thinks.

"Awesome, well I have to get going, Casey is actually coming by to pick me up for lunch.”

"Alright, have a good time!" she waved and carried on with her PVC pipe stocking. Not even a few moments later I noticed Casey coming in the front entrance. He jogged over to me and gave me a hug.

"You ready to go?" he asked me.

"Of course! Shall we make our way to our extravagant McDonald's lunch?" He chuckled and put his arm around me as we started walking out the door and towards the car.

As we were in line at the restaurant making our order, a woman stood by her husband staring daggers at me and Casey. She looked like the typical soccer mom. The type who would immediately pull the "my husband is a cop" card, or something of that nature. Her hubby was pretty buff looking, so I wouldn't have been surprised. They were both wearing shirts that were from a church of some kind and covered in scripture and crosses. I turned around to see Case with our bag of food ready to go. We made our way out the door and started walking across the parking lot to our car. He put the bag on the roof while he dug through his bag to find his keys. It seemed like it was taking forever.

Suddenly we heard tires screeching directly behind us. Lo and behold it was that same couple from inside pulling out of their spot and headed right past us. Next thing I know I felt a sudden bomb of freezing cold substance all over my torso. I looked up at the car and see the husband sticking his middle finger out of the window.

"Fuckin' faggots!" he shouted at us, his wife cackling in the passenger seat. As they drove off into the distance, I noticed a plethora of "I love Jesus" and "He is risen" bumper stickers. That explains the shirts, I guess.

Casey nearly charged after their car, but I threw an arm in front of him before he could gain too much momentum. He slapped me upside the head and scolded me for getting in his way. He always does things like that, so I try not to get on his nerves, but sometimes you do what you have to do. I looked down at myself, covered in what I believed to be a chocolate milkshake of some kind. Most people would think this would have been hard to explain to their coworkers, but they gossiped about me enough. I'm sure they could put two and two together.

"Let's go. I should get back to work," I muttered quietly. Casey shook his head and walked over to the driver side.

"I saw those stickers on their car," he said. "Those damn Christians will never accept us, you know that."

"I only stopped you because I don't want either of us to go to jail," I said. "And you don't think they should go to jail for half the shit they do to people like us? They are all the same, Tyler, and that's just the truth. They don't want to accept us or befriend us. They want to change us, hurt us, or even kill us," he said as he started to tear up. At that time I could only assume he was having flashbacks of his mother.

We made our way back to Menards and once we arrived, I let out a big sigh before heading to the entrance. I turned to wave goodbye to Casey. Before I even get to the door I saw Nicole pushing carts from outside. She took one look at me and gasped in horror as she ran over and began asking me what happened.

"Just more faggot haters," I sighed.

CASEY I waved as Tyler got out of the car and made his way inside with who I could only assume was Nicole. He talks about his friend at work named Nicole who has a collection of western boots. This girl had a very nice pair of American flag pattern boots, so I was sure it was a safe bet to assume it was her. I knew I should get out and introduce myself or at least wave as I drive by, but it wasn't a good time. I couldn't stop thinking about those stupid Jesus freaks in their stupid car with their stupid bumper stickers. Man, the whole thing was so stupid! I couldn't help but wonder if they didn't consider us human beings.

The seething anger I was feeling took me further back into my memories from when I first moved here. Starting community college and being bookchecked by anyone and everyone who knew I was gay. I thought bookchecking was just a middle school thing, but I guess not. At least it wasn't anything I wasn't already use to. Even growing up things were really tough. Coming out to my parents was probably the worst. I'll never forget when my mother looked me in the eye and said "I will not have a gay son". At that point, I wasn't her son anymore and I went to Tylers. We lived together from that point on.

Upon pulling into the driveway and getting parked, I sat back and just closed my eyes. I tried with everything I had to get out of this headspace and into a more positive mood. I was going to meet Tyler's best friend and then we would all decorate the house for Christmas. We both always had a hard time making friends, for obvious reasons, so this was actually a pretty big night. With that in mind, I went inside and began to make plans for dinner.

NICOLE That evening, after we both finished our shifts for the day, I followed him home with his Christmas tree strapped on his roof and through the windows. As we pulled into his driveway, I caught a glimpse of who I thought to be Casey in the living room. He looked through the window and started jumping and clapping when he saw Tyler’s car. They waved to one another before he caught a glimpse of my car parking behind his and let out a big smile. Let the fun begin.

We walked in and headed straight for the kitchen where we found Casey standing. He was dancing circles around the hardwood floors grabbing various pots, pans, and utensils to get ready for dinner. When he stopped and saw me, he glanced down at my Menards vest and realized I was Tyler’s coworker.

“Oh my gosh, you must be Nicole!” he exclaimed as he threw his arms around me.

“I’m guessing you must be Casey,” I chuckled awkwardly.

“I’m so sorry Honey, we’re huggers here. I didn’t mean to catch you off guard."

“No, I love it! That means I’ll fit right in,” I giggled along with them. I was so excited because things were going great and I was really hitting it off with Casey. That's when my phone rang. It displayed "Pastor Larry" on the screen with a big picture of him during his Easter Sermon from earlier that year. I could feel Casey's stare before I even looked up to see it.

"You’re a Christian?" he asked in a sinister demeanor.

"Yes," I choked.

CASEY Without so much as a second thought, I grabbed a frying pan with my right hand and held it high in the air over my head. Then, with my left hand, I grabbed a spatula and pointed it at Tyler. From that point on it became an extension of my arm as I continued to use it in my gesturing.

“You brought a Christian into this house?!” I shouted, pointing the spatula towards Nicole while staring angrily at Tyler with red, watery eyes. Honestly, for a hot minute, I felt scared for my life. These are the people who have attacked and ridiculed me all my life, and she was one of them? How dare Tyler bring her into our home!

“Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down, Casey, she’s cool! She’s one of the good ones!” Tyler shouted.

“Casey stop!” Nicole screamed. Tyler and I stopped in our tracks and turned our eyes directly to hers.

“Yes, I’m Christian," she stated "but no, I don’t give a flying fuck if you like men or women. It doesn’t matter what I think, or what anyone thinks, whether they are Christian or not. Do what and who you want, I’m not going to tell you any different.”

I lowered my kitchen utensil weapons and looked at her. I wondered if she could feel the inquisitive look I was giving her through the tears I could feel building in my waterline. Could she feel all the years of pain and suffering people like us have endured? I was still shaking with tears rolling down my face.

“It says in your precious Bible that people like us are an abomination,” I sniffled, “I just don’t understand how you can defend something like that and consider yourself chill enough to have gay friends.” At this point I was on a whole new level of anger.

“It also says in that same Bible that a woman who is not a virgin on her wedding night is to be taken to her father’s house and stoned to death. Do you think that nearly as many people would be married today if we still enforced that rule? There is a verse that says only the person who is without sin may cast the first stone. I’m not perfect either.”

“You’re not an abomination like you people think we are. You’re not lesbian.”

“Alright,” she snapped, “first off, I am not a part of some cult that you refer to as you people. I understand why you’re on guard, I do, but you’re overgeneralizing. Second, no I’m not homosexual, but I have sinned plenty according to that book. I’ve had relations out of wedlock, I’ve consumed alcohol underage, and I’ve certainly gone through times when I did not honor my mother and father. I’ve been jealous and lusted after things I shouldn’t. Those are all sins according to the Bible, so if you want to have a stone throwing match, who goes first?”

I stared her down through my angry tears.

“There is nothing wrong with the way we are! We aren’t defective because we’re gay!” I shouted in intense agony.

Suddenly, like breaking the tension in a depressing romance movie, I grabbed my coat and left the house after slamming the door behind me. I don't know who to blame right now, Tyler for bringing someone like her into our home or Nicole and the rest of her kind for everything they had ever done to us. My seething anger continued to grow and grow. I'll figure something out.

TYLER Eventually Nicole and I found ourselves on my living room floor watching football and making decorations for the tree we had just set up. I let out a small sniffling sound, but it sounded more saddening than it did like a cold. I'm not a very good actor, apparently, because she clearly noticed.

"Tyler, are you ok?" she asked, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm scared and I don't know what to do," I confessed to her. "I have no idea if Casey is ever going to get past this, but at the same time I know I didn't do anything wrong. We couldn't plan for that! He's had such a rough life and this kind of thing really gets to him. What should I do?"

"Stop blaming yourself, for starters," she demanded, "and after that just live your life. He has every right to be on guard, you both do. After everything you guys have been through and still put up with every single day, there is nothing wrong with that. Personally, even as a Christian, I don't care what other people do because my choices are what determine my life. Why should I make a big deal about what other people are doing that I can't control?"

I began to cry with my face in my hands.

"Do you think he'll come back?" I choked.

“I'm sure he will."

Later that night, after Nicole was gone for the night, I began to pick up our little arts and crafts mess. The place was quiet, which was not something I had ever planned on having to get use to. As I was walking through the living room cleaning up, I stopped by the Christmas tree to look at the ornaments. Right at my eye level there was a photo ornament with a picture of me and Casey on our first date. I felt a tear fall down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away and continued working.

All of a sudden the door flies open and I hear someone stomping up the stairs. It's Casey. Before I could open my mouth to welcome him home or ask if he was ok, I feel his hand on my throat.

"Why would you do this to me?!" he screams in my face.

"What are you talking about?" I choked out despite his hand on my neck. He releases me.

"Don't play dumb, Tyler. You knew she was religious yet you still invited her here. To a house with two gay men living in it."

"You heard for yourself, she doesn't care what we do!"

"That's what they all say! They say that 'only God can judge' and that it isn't their place to criticize your decisions, but that really doesn't apply to us. Everyone has already judge us and made it abundantly clear. We are going to hell and that's that, obviously."

"Would you stop it, Casey?" I pleaded. "She isn't like that, and had you not acted like a complete psycho and got to know her you would know that."

"Don't call me a fucking psycho!" he shouted. After having barely finished his sentence he pulled back his right arm and launched his fist directly into my face. My right eye suffered the most. He continues his assault by pushing me down on the floor and pointing his finger in my face as he continues to yell about Nicole. I struggle underneath him, but manage to slip a leg inward and push it into his stomach, triggering his release of me.

As he laid back on the floor, one hand on his pained midsection, I tried to reason with him. Before I could get more than half of a word out, he is storming into the kitchen. I troll behind but stay on the opposite side of the room, hoping he will calm down. He stood over the sink with his arms on the counter and his head down. I could hear him gasping for air between sobs, so I assumed he was collecting himself, but I was wrong.

Next thing I know he has one of the empty pickle jars I use for planting in his hand and he is charging after me with it held high over his head. I barely blinked before he smashed it into my head. Shattered glass was now strewn all over the kitchen and small red drops fell to the floor beneath my head as I tried to rise. I put my hand up to him.

"No more!"

Casey yanked me off the floor by my elbow and pinned me against the wall, his free hand on my throat. At one point I could almost feel my face turning blue. He leaned in real close to me and whispered something awful.

"When they come for you, do you really think she'll stay on our side?"

I knew exactly what he meant. That eventually push will come to shove and things will be at their point of life or death based on my being gay. He thinks that the religious folks will all stick together, no matter what they think individually, because of the God they worship. That's what he thinks about Nicole too.

I feel a falling sensation as he lets go of my neck and I am back on the ground, curled up in agony. I tried to crawl my way to the living room to get my phone, but alas, I only made it to the staircase railing. Casey stood over me and then, as he smirked and shook his head, took his foot and nudged me just far enough to where I helplessly fell down the stairs. Once I reached the bottom I appeared to be a limp, lifeless body with my hair damp from the dripping blood.

"Don't go anywhere," he chuckled maniacally, "I have some things I need to get."

I laid there helpless, of course, and obeyed his command. Not because I was intimidated or because I wanted to, but because I couldn't move. A little while later he comes down the stairs with multiple bags in hand. He opens the door, slamming it right onto my head that he had already damaged with the pickle jar, and looks down at me.

"You'll understand someday, but by then it will be too late for you." Needless to say, after he finally finished with me and left with his things, we were over.

NICOLE "Tyler, what happened?" I yelled as I dashed over to him. His right eye was black, he also had cuts across his hairline and one on his bottom lip. Don’t get me started on the various bruises, or at least the ones I could see.

"Casey happened."

"Wait, he did this to you? I swear, if I see that boy again I'm gonna - "

"Don't bother," he said. "He's long gone now. We're over."

"I'm so sorry this happened, Babe. I never should have gone over. How can I fix this?"

"Stop blaming yourself, for starters," he smiled, using my own words against me. We both started chuckling, but not for long. Nathan and his girlfriend were approaching from down the aisle.

"Heeey Tyler," he said, mocking him in the stereotypical "gay" voice. "What happened to your eye? Infection from the money shot your boyfriend gave you?"

Tyler lunged at Nathan, but fell short after I threw myself in front of him to hold him back.

"Fuck off, Nathan!" he screamed, tears beginning to fill his eyes.

"Whoa, chill! I was just concerned for your eye is all. No need to get all pissy about it," he chuckled, his girlfriend laughing along with him as they walked away. Tyler covered his eye with one hand and held his left out.

"Do you have any concealer or foundation I could use to cover this up?"

"Of course," I reached into my purse and gave my concealer and a mirror to him. As he begins to cover up his black eye, I feel horrible for what just happened, but even worse for it happening every day and not being able to do anything to stop it. He was my friend, and he was suffering, but I was powerless to end it. I knew this was a huge problem in the community and in the world, yet I never realized just how much it affects everyone involved. Even the heterosexual friends of those who are LGBTQ are hurt, and I can certainly feel that now. That pain for Tyler and that pain for Casey, despite what he did. "I didn't realize things were this bad just because you are gay," I said to him. He hands me back my things and looks me in the eye.

"Most people don't, that's why it's such a problem in this world."

I begin to tear up along with him. We hug each other tightly.

"I hope you know that you're not alone in this. Seeing these things and hearing about everything you've been through hurts me to hear it," I said to him. "Just remember, being gay is not a defect. You're perfect the way you are."

Suddenly we hear our names called over the PA to take defect bins to the back. "Not a defect, huh?" he chuckles as he races to the bins and jumps up to sit on the side of one of them and do a superhero pose. "Then why do they call me Major Defect?"

We both busted out laughing.

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