#for context I we just kinda lost touch and hadn't spoken in like idk 8 years so it's not like he was still in my life b
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was gonna go to my friend's funeral tomorrow but I got my period today whyyy :(
#i was already on the fence about going bc the person who asked me to go bailed#plus it's a long drive and the social anxiety of it all#but imagining going through all that while being exhausted and nauseous and sweaty and cramping 😞 it would just be a nightmare#now idk what to do. i was kind of counting on it to bring some catharsis and help me process it all but now there's no structure#don't wanna spiral from ruminating about it but don't wanna repress it mm#for context I we just kinda lost touch and hadn't spoken in like idk 8 years so it's not like he was still in my life b#just weird ya know#i fucking hate my body like I literally don't need a reproductive system#i feel worse today than I did the entire time I was sick sick this week#if someone who doesn't menstruate felt like this they'd be like oh shit I'm sick better stay home and rest and everyone would be like okay#but for us its just the way things are and completely unavoidable and takes up 1/4 of my whole existence eerggugguhfh#i wish I could just scoop this shit out and give it to someone who actually wants to have a baby. literally don't need it#anyways. vent over thanks for stopping by#death mention#delete later
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