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myvampyrez · 15 days

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ffvii jealousy headcanons 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

✧˖*°࿐ includes cloud strife, zack fair, sephiroth, reno, genesis rhapsodos, and angeal hewley

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

just a little something to satisfy you guys while i continue working on my requests!! already did a dmc one so might as well do a ffvii one too lol

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

jealousy (obviously), some possessiveness, intended lowercase, like one bullet point about post-nibelheim sephiroth, just a couple of guys who love the reader??, lmk if i missed anything !! 🎀

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓒LOUD — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ cloud is the type of person who will swear up and down that he doesn’t get jealous, but truth be told, he does. however, he doesn’t recognize it as jealousy at first.

❥ although, he definitely tries to shove his feelings down once he realizes that he’s somewhat upset. cloud won’t upright and confess that he’s jealous or go up to you when he sees someone flirting with you.

❥ cloud’s pretty understanding if you needed space or if you were just talking with someone else, he’s not gonna immediately resort to his insecurity.

❥ but once it’s a reoccurring experience, or if they know what they’re doing— or worse, if they’re actively flirting with you or touching you, then he’ll definitely start to get a little jealous.

❥ instead of actively confronting you or getting up in the flirt’s face, he’ll only watch afar at first. he’ll observe the conversation, the light touches, checking to see if you look uncomfortable or not.

❥ when it begins to become too much though, cloud’ll come up to you, saying something along the lines of how he needs you or needs your help and that it’s so urgent that you have to come with him asap.

❥ if you even insinuate that he got jealous though, he’ll deny it to the moon and back and say that it never happened. he may act like he doesn’t care, but don’t let it fool you. cloud cares about you way too much to let you be slobbered over at a bar by a disrespectful dude.

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. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓩ACK — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ i feel like zack’s semi into pda? as long as he’s not around the firsts or anybody important, especially angeal, then he just can’t wait to show you off. he can’t help it, poor boy loves you too much 😭 so because of the somewhat pda, i dont see a lot of people trying to flirt with you— especially knowing that your boyfriends a SOLDIER.

❥ i dont think he’d even notice at first, too busy talking to you to even notice that theres someone who has your attention also. i cant see anybody really trying to flirt with you though, zack’s like that one small dog who keeps yapping at your feet when you get to close to its owner.

❥ zack is very vocal!! if the person interrupts your conversation, he will blatantly call them out on it. he’d narrow his eyes at them and just say, “hello, i was talking to them??” because who interrupts people like that?? plain rude!!

❥ saw this in another post and i totally agree with it, zack’ll joke and joke with underlying messages behind these said ‘jokes’ and definitely has the mindset of, “what can they offer when you have me???” he just doesn’t see how they catch your attention or why they’re talking to you while hes sitting right there??

❥ will bend over backwards just for your attention, he will pout otherwise if he doesn’t get your full undivided attention after his attempts.

❥ will probably annoy the person after you’re gone by either passive-aggressively interrogating them or ranting about how in love he is with you. he’s like the cartoons where they hold their chin in their palm with heart eyes as they look up all dreamy with a giant thought bubble that’s just you. he can’t help it, he just loves you too much (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞!!1!1!

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. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓢EPHIROTH — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ for pre nibelheim (because i miss soft and not crazy sephiroth), i cant see him getting all that much jealous? i guess he’d get more so protective if he sees someone all up on you— but otherwise, he’s pretty laid back about it. he puts a lot of his faith in you entrusting that you won’t break it, so i cant see him going crazy over it.

❥ i think sephiroth’s mature enough to not cause a scene even if he was jealous, though. he wouldn’t be petty or actively try to keep you away from anybody pre nibelheim, although he finds it amusing how they try to flirt with you.

❥ he especially has to have trust in you considering he’s a first class!! unless you are also a SOLDIER or you’re associated with shinra, you guys will spend semi-large gaps of times apart. he doesn’t think you’d betray him like that though, he’s mature enough to have a conversation if he’s really worried.

❥ sephiroth has his moments of insecurity, but usually when he’s off duty— he’ll be with you. i’m just imagining sitting at a bar with sephiroth as he’s literally right beside you while this persons trying to slide up next to you lol. i also don’t think sephiroth gets jealous because he knows his worth and know he can be intimidating when he wants to be!! even just his teasing makes people quiver in their fuckin boots lmao. i doubt anybody would wanna mess with a first class SOLDIER who’s fit and over 5’11” / 180cm.

❥ after they either get intimidated or realize their advances aren’t working and that you’re happily in a relationship with sephiroth and leave, he’ll chuckle to himself as he thinks aloud about how silly it was to even attempt to get with you, knowing who you’re with. on the off chance that he’s feeling a little possessive or something, he’s not one for pda but he might just give you a kiss after they leave and a quick murmur of amusement due to their foolishness.

❥ now!! post-nibelheim!! you’re not even gonna be out of his sight enough to be hit on considering he’s kinda like.. a war criminal in a sense 😭. he’s much more possessive in his little silly criminally existentially crisis insane arc, never letting you leave alone or even go out in public that often. he’s much more obsessed with you after his break, so if he finds someone even making advances on you?? ooh, boy.

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. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓡ENO — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ reno is one weird little dude, let me tell you that. every time i think of reno, i think of a cat. with a suit. suit cat.

❥ reno does get jealous a lot of the time, even if he is usually all up on you anyways. he still is a turk and also has to spend some time away from you, leading to overlapping thoughts of you while he’s away, maybe not even just possessive but also about if something happened to you. nothing could cure these thoughts better than a little phone sex, though.

❥ i’d like to think reno’s into pda as long as he’s not at work, poor rude having to witness wet kisses on your cheek with a lazy arm slung across your shoulder ever day. so i can’t really imagine anybody trying a bunch of stuff with you when usually— reno’s not too far behind.

❥ if reno happens to be not right next to you and he’s just doing his own thing and he happens to GLANCE AT YOU? AND HE SEES SOMEONE HITTING ON YOU?? instant slide next to you.

❥ he’s petty enough to start calling you all these pet names while he’s sitting next to you, wrapping his arm around you while he’s sizing the flirt up. he’ll look them up and down with a hard stare and maybe throw some passive aggressive comments every once in a while.

❥ he’ll probably make them uncomfortable (unless they wanna square up, because knowing reno, he might just charge if the person reciprocates his belligerent comments) so by the time they already leave, reno’s already whining against you as he asks what that was all about, acting all clueless afterwards. but you can tell just from the tone that laces his voice that he knows what he’s doing lol.

❥ he’s just a petty guy, maybe not so much possessive because i mean you can go out wherever you want wearing whatever you want (maybe after a small quickie at home if it’s something revealing), he can fend for you. he swears he’s your knight in shining armor no matter how much he teases you lmfao

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. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓐NGEAL — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ now here’s the real knight in shining armor™!!!! angeal is your savior if you’re ever in an uncomfortable situation, although he doesn’t really get jealous at all— he’s just very observant of you.

❥ angeal has a whole thing about how in a relationship you must have faith and he’s very comfortable with both you and himself. he’s happy in your relationship and he is secure with himself!! if zack ever sees you two together and he’s like “(」°ロ°) 」??”, bombarding him with questions as usual, then i can just see angeal giving zack a talk on how to treat women and the gentleman way of approach— although zack is very respectful, it’s just in angeals nature to lecture.

❥ he won’t think anything of it when someone you know sits with you, you guys usually know each others relatives and friends well enough to trust them. but he’s a little iffy when a random stranger starts chatting you up.

❥ angeal obviously trusts you!! again, unless you’re a SOLDIER (which he wouldn’t prefer only because he worries about your well being), then you guys will have to spend some time apart. he has a lot of faith in you and will always write you when he’s away, letting you know he’s always thinking of you while you’re apart.

❥ if anything, he’ll save you if he notices you’re uncomfortable or something along those lines. he’ll swiftly say he needs your for something and apologizes to the person out of courtesy that he interrupted your guys’ conversation, but oh it’s so urgent, we must retreat!! and i must hold you hand in hand while we run off and do totally boring SOLDIER duties!!

❥ omfg then he pulls you aside and asks if you’re okay and ugh i just want him so bad. like sephiroth, he’ll also explain how foolish it was to even hit on you when you’re clearly happily in a relationship with him. you two’ll walk along back to hq (?) or whatever while you talk about how odd the encounter was.

❥ so in conclusion !! angeal is a gentleman and doesn’t get jealous / protective unless he thinks you’re in trouble or you’re clearly uncomfortable. angeal hewley to the rescue!!!

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. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ 𝓖ENESIS — 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

❥ this dramatic bitch.

❥ genesis is so petty that he’ll probably consider the possibility that you’re flirting back? and then proceed to ignore you or leaving you off with some esoteric poetry while he tends to his duties. he is first class, after all.

❥ if he’s sitting right next to you though, and he hears that you’re not flirting with them. he’s petty enough like reno where he’ll suddenly be throwing out all these dramatic pet names and throw longing glances towards you, except he won’t even spare a glance towards the other person— simply only paying attention to you.

❥ id consider genesis a jealous person, but i do think that most of it strikes a protective instinct within him. he does understand that he’s also a first class SOLDIER meaning he’ll have to trust you, but he has way too much time on his hands to think. also like angeal where he’ll write you as much as he can— except he’ll send you mindless poems he writes or favored quotes of LOVELESS.

❥ in the case that you leave to go to the bathroom or any sort of occasion, genesis would probably scare the other person or make them feel uncomfortable as well. but when you return and they’re gone, he’ll act so clueless. all, “whatever do you mean, dearest?”

❥ another instance where i don’t think anybody would try anything with you. like angeal and sephiroth, genesis is a first class SOLDIER. everybody knows these dudes are the real shit (well, mainly only sephiroths talked about, but it applies to genesis and angeal too!!) so hes all smug parading you around as he side eyes every person who gawks at you. of course he knows you’re beautiful, but your beauty is too much for these fools to comprehend. so yes, he must glare at every single of them.

❥ and yes, also like his companions, he will jeer and whine about how silly it was to try that with you when you two are alone. i can even see genesis pulling a cloud and just whisking you away claiming you need to do something and then act like nothing happened afterwards. either that, or he’ll overdo it and claim to be your angel— no in between.

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animereaderinsertwriter · 10 months

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Pairing: Cloud Strife x Reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags/Warnings: frenemies to lovers, Cloud's memory problems, reader is an assassin, smut, porn WITH plot

Final Word Count: 9k

Plot summary: A mercenary and an assassin walk into a bar. They bicker, have sex, then go home and freak out about it. The whole thing feels like it should be a joke, but it isn't— and no matter how bad it hurts, they keep coming back for more.

ao3 link

“Let us go then, you and I, When the evening is spread out against the sky Like a patient etherized upon a table…”

The entrance to Hell's Maw yawned lazily open, with the wooden door leaning crookedly off of its hinges. The door— made of sturdy oak— had held up well against bar fights between mercenaries, master thieves, and assassins for over a decade; it was riddled with holes from unsuccessful knifings and stray bullets, and sported faint airbrushings of blood from more successful endeavors of the same sort. Really, the agency ought to have replaced it by now as a favor to the bar for letting its employees regularly trash the place— but those stingy bastards couldn't be bothered with anything outside of making money off the hard labor of people bigger, meaner, and certainly more deadly than themselves, and so the door remained as it was.

Fondly, you patted the door as you passed it; the little creak it gave felt like a 'thank you,' and you smiled as you slipped inside the building, largely unnoticed by the Friday night crowd.

Despite its name, Hell's Maw was a cozy, comfortable establishment. There were large, comfortable booths lining the walls, the fabric of their green seats cracked and slightly worn in the middle; a few pool tables with green felt were nestled comfortably in the middle of the room. There was always something soft and smooth playing from the jukebox in the corner, and the lighting was dim enough to feel gentle and ambient, but bright enough that a girl didn't feel the need to squint at her plate for deformed food.

Tonight, a few familiar faces were gathered around the pool tables, holding cues that had been haphazardly duct taped back together a few times. The quiet buzz of conversation was a comforting lull, and there was a pleasant smell drifting out from the kitchen that had you sighing at the thought of a warm meal.

Home sweet home, you thought, smiling as you took in the scene.

"Evening, Kitty," you greeted one of the servers as she passed by. "What's the special tonight?"

Kitty was a short, pleasantly plump woman with a freckled face and flaming hair. To look at her, you'd never know that she spent her evenings catering to smugglers, tramps, thieves, and worse— but she was as strong as she was beautiful, so generally speaking, she got whatever she wanted out of Hell's Maw's regular patrons.

"Shepherd's pie," said the waitress, grinning back as she bussed a table, "but your friend over there is putting everyone off their dinner with that sour look on his face. It's a wonder anyone can keep their drinks down, what with his mean-mugging."

You followed Kitty's gaze to the bar, where a familiar shock of blond hair glowed honey-golden in the incandescent lighting.

To your credit, you tried hard to stifle your laugh.

Sitting on what you had come to think of as your barstool, Cloud Strife looked even more brooding and mysterious than usual. A glass of his choice poison— lemon water with a pinch of mint— was sitting untouched on the mahogany wood in front of him. As he sat there, glaring at his glass, he seemed so miserable that you couldn't even be mad at him for stealing her seat.

Alas, despite your efforts, the sight earned a giggle.

"He looks to be in a fine temper," you noted slyly, wagging your eyes at Kitty.

Kitty huffed.

"He looks like he's swallowed a hornet's nest."

You laughed again.

"I'd best go see what he wants, then," you said. "If it's any comfort to you, I can't imagine he'll stay very long."

"Oh, he's no trouble," said Kitty mischievously. "As for myself, don't care what face he makes when he's got a face like that."

You giggled. He really was handsome, that bastard.

"I'll be sure to tell him you said that. Later, Kitty."

"Later," said Kitty with her signature wink.

As you approached the bar, you wondered at Cloud's presence there. It was a rare day that he arrived at the bar before you, and even rarer that he should be waiting for you and not sitting in a booth with a friend— an actual friend— or chatting up some girl at the pool tables. You couldn't recall a time when he'd been this forward with his presence at your little meeting place, and you'd be lying if you said the newness of it all didn't set you on edge.

Cloud Strife in general set you on edge.

"Hello, first class," you greeted him, smiling.

As he turned to acknowledge you, you slid gracefully into the seat next to him, signaling to the bartender for a little something sweet and strong.

"Cutthroat," he returned without malice.

You turned your best pout on him.

"Now, now, you're being uncharitable. You're in my seat, and I haven't even considered cutting your throat." You thought for a moment. "Well, until now at least "

He raised a brow, in a moment both teasing and deadly.

"If it's any consolation, though, it's more of a scientific interest than anything," you added as an afterthought. "It's not often that I get contracts for anyone like a SOLDIER, you know."

Blue-ringed green peered at you with familiar, friendly distaste.

"I'm not stupid enough to be one of your marks," he said, taking a sip of his drink. "I think with my upstairs head, which is more than I can say for the guys you get paid to kill."

It was a bit naive of him to assume such a thing. No man was above being one of your marks.

"Then praise be that the world isn't full of good, right-honorable ex-SOLDIERs like you," you shot sweetly back at him. "Poor little me would be out of a job."

Cloud let out a noise somewhere between a scoff and a laugh, then sobered and stared moodily into his glass of water. He looked like a petulant child who'd been sent to his room as punishment.

"Come on, why so sour?" you prodded, trying to keep your tone teasing. "Did you get turned down this evening before I got here? If so, I'm sure the pretty brunette in the corner would go home with you— she's been staring at you since I walked in."

He scowled.

"Why does it always have to be about sex with you?" he snapped as the bartender handed you your glass of fruity bliss. "Are the men you seduce to kill not doing it for you anymore?"

You took the insult in stride.

"Why?" you challenged, leaning forward, eyes flicking up to meet his. "Curious?"

Cloud was the first to look away.

Somehow, it was always this. He would come to you in moments of woundedness or weakness and pick a fight that he couldn’t finish. Fights about work, fights about drinks, fights about the sex that neither of you were having, and fights about fighting just for fighting's sake— too often, you found yourselves here, in this endless cycle of strange and hateful amicability. Why, you didn't know— but it wasn't like that was going to stop you from playing your little game.

"Why are you in my seat?" You began again, changing tactics. "You know that's my seat. I'm fairly certain the groove of my ass cheeks are worn into the shape of it by now."

"Wanted to be," he replied with a little shrug of powerful shoulders. "It's a nice seat. Got a problem with it?"

You hummed, sipping from your drink.

"Not at all. Just curious as to what's wrong with you today."

Cloud cut his eyes at you.

"Who says there's something wrong with me?"

"Oh, there's something wrong with everyone here. The fact that you're picking a fight with me today is especially telling, though."

"Not picking a fight," he grumbled.

"Of course not," you replied, placating. "Now— would you like to tell me what's on your mind, or should I try and guess?"

Cloud stayed silent, but took another drink from his minty lemon water.

Guessing it was, then.

"Don't know which girl to pick again?" you scanned the bar. There were plenty of Cloud's type there— sweet innocents that looked like they needed protecting. "I can help like last time. Blondie by the pool table has got great tits and a sweet smile, but she'll want to do it missionary the whole time. The brunette I was talking about earlier is probably a bit kinkier, if that's what you're i—"

Cloud moved to get up, disgusted.

Wrong guess, then.

"I'm teasing," you told him, tugging his arm. "Sit down, drama queen."

Cloud eyed you warily, but reluctantly sat back down.

"You know," you said gently, "this would be easier if you could just tell me what's going on."

Cloud's expression shuttered closed. It was as if a mask had dropped into place over his features, locking them into a single blank expression.

"Nothing's going on. I told you, I'm fine."

You were beginning to feel frustrated. Hell's Maw was a haven for damaged colleagues of a hellacious profession. Most of them came for one of two reasons: to have sex, or to play house in a place where the job didn't matter. Cloud was the former, you were the latter. You fulfilled his need to banter and blow off steam, and he fulfilled your need to care and watch out for someone. It wasn't like you were friends. Currently, he wasn’t fulfilling your needs, and you weren't fulfilling his— so why were either of you even there?

"You're a shit liar, Cloud Strife," you huffed. "If all you're going to do is act like an ass, then you can get out of my seat and find someone else to abuse with your presence."

He shook his head.

"I doubt someone like you could understand."

You leaned back in your seat. An odd hurt pierced your chest.

You knew your lives were different. You knew he disapproved of yours. That was an old fight that had already scabbed over into little more than scars on your psyche; but if he wanted to pick it until it bled once more, you would indulge him with scratches of your own.

"Someone like me," you repeated, the words bitter as lye soap in your mouth. “Tell me, Cloud— what, exactly, do you think I am?”

You stared deeply into his eyes, challenging him. As you did so, you noted the mako-greenish tinge in the center of his iris, and not for the first time, the weight of your secret pulsed within you, threatening to fizzle out from you in white-hot sparks.

“I think you’re a murderer,” he told you, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re a contract killer, and what’s worse, you use your body to lure men to their deaths like some kind of demented, two-bit—”

You had heard these words before. Refusing to hear them again, you drew back your hand and made to strike him; you didn’t get far, though, before Cloud’s SOLDIER reflexes proved their worth and caught your hand before the slap could land. Even through his glove, you could feel the mako beneath his skin, and you shivered.

“I told you before,” you said, speaking carefully, willing control to return to you. “Don’t call me a whore ever again. If you do, it will be the last word you say.”

Gently, you nudged the blade in your other hand against his ribs, and he flinched backwards, apparently not having seen or anticipated the movement despite the obvious distraction of the slap.

“I don’t have to say it,” he replied calmly, tightening his grip on your wrist. “You put the words in my mouth, so if the shoe fits, then fucking wear it.”

The flow of mako within him was strong, pulling at you physically like the opposite side of a magnet. A breath, then two, and it was under control— but those words cut deep. Hearing them from someone like Cloud cut even deeper.

"You know what, I don't have to take this from you," you said, trying to take your arm back. He didn’t let you, instead holding you fast against your will. Feeling vengeful, you added, "Especially not when you're such a hypocrite."

Cloud's expression was impassive, marble-esque, but the hardening of his eyes told you that you'd hit the mark.

"Excuse me?"

You smirked.

"What, you think I don't know what you get up to around here? How you fuck around with these girls and that pretty barmaid at Seventh Heaven? And yet you think I’m the whore? Get a grip, man."

"What?"

There it was— hurt and indignation that mirrored your own flashed in his eyes, and you knew you had him.

"Oh, you heard me," you said, tilting your head like another girl might for a kiss. "I'd bet top dollar that your big-titty Tifa would give her right arm to play housewife for you, and you play right along with her, the poor thing. Does she know you come here every week for an easy lay?"

Cloud snarled, enraged, and roughly threw your wrist away from himself as though disgusted.

"I've never touched Tifa!"

You grinned wryly, massaging your wrist, and said,

"And don't you know it kills her?"

It occurred to you then that you might have gone a bit too far. Cloud's hands were balled into white-knuckled fists, and he looked as if he might hit you. A moment of tense silence swept over the both of you, a tug of war of will-he-won't-he between you— and then as he always did when it came to matters of the heart, Cloud Strife took the easy way out.

He turned away.

"Coming here was a fucking mistake," he growled, fitting that giant, way-too-Freudian sword to his lean, muscled back. "I don't know why I fucking bothered— of course you wouldn’t take this conversation seriously."

"What conversation?" you shot back. "If you think shit-talking me to my face is a conversation, you've got bigger problems than leading some girl on."

He rounded on you.

"I'm not leading anyone on. I don't feel for Tifa like that and she knows it."

You arched a brow. "Oh, so you've told her?"

Cloud faltered.

"Well— no."

"Then is she just supposed to guess?"

Cloud scowled, no doubt ready to double down on his point— but you, suddenly conscious of the setting and the kind of hurt it would cause if talk like that got back to Seventh Heaven, moved closer and said seriously,

"That girl loves you. Everyone from here to topside knows except you. You break her heart, and I feel for her. Every woman has cried the tears she cries for you— most are just smart enough to cut thoughtless, careless bastards like you off."

Cloud shook his head, expression closed.

"No way. Tifa's smarter than that."

You smiled, though it ached.

"No woman is," you told him gently. "Love is our gift, and our curse."

"You're full of shit."

Ah, that was it, then. Once he began to resort to blind insults, you knew you'd won.

"No, I'm right, and it bothers you— and you know what else I think?"

Cloud folded his arms.

"Can I pay you not to tell me?"

You ignored him.

"I think that you think I should be as tortured and as guilty as you feel, and it bothers you even more that I'm not. I understand this world, live in it, accept it, and so you believe that I am just as bad as everyone else in this stupid bar. And that, Cloud, is why you’re here right now, so let me give you this piece of wisdom."

You caught his arm again as he tried to turn away, feeling the warmth of him beneath your hand.

"I have no guilt, and I have no shame. It is the world who should be ashamed for having need of me. Of having need of us."

In that moment, you found yourself nose-to-nose with Cloud, sharing his breath. His eyes— his beautiful eyes— were trained on yours, calculating, analytical. His breath smelled of lemon. You wanted to taste the sourness of it from his lips, feel the burn of its acid in your split lip.

"Don't be ashamed," you murmured, forcing your eyes to return to meet his gaze. "You are what they made you, but you survived. Never, ever be ashamed."

The place where the skin of your palm met the skin of his forearm burned with electric warmth. You found that touching this prickly, untouchable man felt like holding a live wire. From the very beginning, you had known that Cloud Strife was a powerhouse, a living weapon; somehow, though, you had neglected to realize what kind of power he had over you before this skin-to-skin contact.

After a moment, something dawned on you, and you were horrified. Just like Tifa, just like every woman watching them and seething with jealousy, you wanted him.

"I hate you," he said, but moved closer. "I hate how easily you justify this life."

"I accept your hate," you said, "but you can't deny what I've said is true."

"I hate that too." He moved his arm away from your hand, bringing his hand up to touch your neck, his thumb resting in the hollow of your throat. He could easily kill you, even with your knife still at his ribs. You fought against the urge to close your eyes and let the sensation of it consume you.

"I do wonder why you came here then," you mused softly, "why you're bothering with talking to me when you could take one of these little fawns home with you."

"I don't want them," he said almost distractedly, his eyes dark and intense on yours. "At best, they're a means to an end."

This was news to you. You'd watched him take them home night after night like clockwork.

"Then what do you want?"

He never once broke his gaze with you. You never even saw him blink.

"Would that I knew."

Cloud tilted his head. You thought you had imagined it, until his nose bumped yours.

Was this what he had come here for?

You weren't sure. Either way, he lingered back, unwilling to close the distance. If you wanted to kiss him, you would have to choose it for yourself; if you wanted him, you had to make the active, conscious choice to cut yourself on his edge, and take the pain that would come with it.

You weighed the costs, found them worthy. You leaned forward, closing the gap, and let him kiss you.

Oh, what a kiss.

The act itself was simple. It was only the touching of flesh, soft and surprisingly gentle. The mako-power under his skin pulsed against the places where you touched— your lips, his hand at your throat, your palm against his bicep— and a powerful twinge of want jerked the nerves between your legs, wanting, needing more.

Distantly, it occurred to you that if any of the kisses you'd shared with your marks had been like this, you would have been the one lying dead at the end of it all.

"Do you want to leave?" you asked once your lips had parted from his.

"Depends on where you want to go," he said, nose still brushing yours. "I'm not interested in going back to mine."

Of course not, you thought bitterly. Tifa might see.

Ego bruised, you decided to play the game.

"Who said we were going to anyone's place?" You hummed, your lashes lowered. "An alleyway might work just as well for what you have in mind."

Cloud's eyes darkened further at that.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Filthy sex in a back alley where anyone could see." He scoffed, pupils dilated. "Disgusting."

He went in for another kiss, and you stepped back.

"Who said anything about sex, either?" you teased, eyeing him up and down. "Just 'cause your usual crowd lets you take what you want doesn't mean I will. Not everyone wants Shinra’s sloppy seconds."

Cloud frowned.

"Don't fuck with me," he said, deadly serious. "I don't take that shit well."

At that, you softened. Perhaps that had been a bit too far. There was clearly some amount of bad blood between this particular SOLDIER and Shinra, and you had poked that bruise knowingly.

"I'm sorry," you said, sincere. "It was wrong of me to tease you."

You extended your hand.

"Come on. We'll go to my place."

For a moment, you didn't think he'd take it— but eventually, he placed his hand in your own and let you lead him away from Hell's Maw.

On your way out, you passed a few booths of familiar faces that turned their heads at the sight of the two of you leaving together— but just as you were starting to wonder if you'd made the right decision, Kitty caught your eye. The waitress gave you an all-knowing smile and winked.

It was the closest thing to a blessing that you were going to get.

Outside of a job or a hookup, Cloud was not often outside at night under the plate.

Now, in the awkward silence between himself and (Y/N), he had time to look and reflect. The combination of maintenance lights and the soft glow of energy throughout the plate itself was a poor imitation of a sky full of stars, but it was good enough in the absence of another alternative. It dimly lit the dusty, barren streets, casting everything in the greenish-gray of mako energy-fuelled lights; when he wasn't peering into suspicious shadows, Cloud caught glimpses of (Y/N) out of the corner of his eye, noting the way the unnatural light made her skin appear strange and foreign beneath it. Before now, he had not thought her skin to be so familiar that he would notice a difference.

Tonight was a remarkably bad idea.

"We're almost there," (Y/N) said to him, slowing her walk until she stopped to face him. She peered up at him with piercing eyes, and Cloud suddenly got the feeling that he was being tested.

"Something bothering you?" he ventured, resisting the urge to check over his shoulder for some unseen enemy.

"You could say that."

(Y/N) did not drop her gaze; Cloud refused to give her any ground by being the first to look away for the second time in the evening.

"Why are we here?" she asked him, her eyes throwing the light of the plate back to him in little glowing pinprick reflections. "I wasn't thinking earlier, not really— I let my baser instincts lead me this far. Before we go any further, I have to know what you're in this for."

An excellent question, that— it was one Cloud had asked himself a thousand times before he made the decision to show up at Hell's Maw.

I'm here ecause you drive me to distraction, he wanted to say. Because you're so beautiful, and so deadly, and I have wanted a taste of you since I first laid eyes on you. Because after meeting with you every week for months, moments with you feel like the only thing that's really mine in all the world.

Instead, he did not speak, not for a long time. Patiently, she watched him, staunch in her decision to remain where she was until he gave her an answer.

Because I want you is the answer he should have given, mostly because it was the truest one. The answer he gave was stupid and cowardly, and only true in the vaguest sense.

"To scratch an itch," he said. When she raised a brow, he added, "A deeper one than usual."

He hoped distantly that she could understand his reticence. He could not tell her what he felt without feeling foolish; he could not even acknowledge it to himself without feeling a traitor to the feelings he was expected to bear for others. Tonight, he could have chosen from dozens of women, and at least two of them were as dear to his heart as his very own flesh— but none of them were her. (Y/N) was beauty and grace and nightshade; she was the honey in every trap, the woman he wasn't supposed to want, but wanted carnally. She had no history with him, only the present, and yet he felt that she understood him like no one else ever had.

Don't be ashamed, she'd told him earlier, her gaze steady and strong like steel, her voice soft and gentle as silk. You are what they made you, but you survived. Never, ever be ashamed.

Cloud had spent so much of his time ashamed of everything. Ashamed of his roots, of his failures, of all the things he remembered, of all the things he didn't— and it was as if she had felt the badness in him, sensed it without him saying, and accepted it as a part of him. In her, there was no blind hero-worship, no transference of feelings from a risky rescue. No, she was simply the other side of his coin. She knew him because she was him.

"An itch," she repeated, and he felt as though she were flaying him open with her eyes.

"An itch," he replied, unable to say anything else.

She took a moment, considering. She must have found something within him worthy, because she gave a nod and walked on as though the conversation had never happened.

If someone had asked Cloud that night what her house had looked like, he could not have said. He would not have known the color if it had been neon orange with fireworks shooting out of the front of it; by the time he should have taken notice of it, he'd been thoroughly distracted with (Y/N)'s mouth on his own.

How that happened was a mystery also. One moment, he was walking along with her, slightly behind— the next, he was grabbing her arm, overcome with the desire to see her face once more, his heart somehow damaged by her uncharacteristic silence, and then he was kissing her because he could, because she let him, and because he was swiftly becoming utterly obsessed with the taste of her. It was filthy, deviant stuff, sucking on the length of her tongue, holding her to him by the very hair of her head; eventually, he decided that he wanted her closer still and simply lifted her, wrapping her legs around his waist.

From there, he'd been operating mostly blind. She gave him directions, intimately familiar with her route home, and guided him even to the very last detail of how high he should lift his foot to make it up the front porch steps. If either of them had not been who they were, such a thing would likely have been impossible— but with an assassin's precision and a SOLDIER's grace and ability, they'd navigated the journey just fine.

At first, it seemed a shame and a nuisance that, even after they'd done so well getting there, (Y/N) insisted on opening the lock to her front door— but then Cloud got a magnificent view of her backside, and remembered that, as an ass man, it was practically his duty to come behind her and press himself against her with hungry neck-kisses as she fiddled with the lock. His cock, already half-hard, was infinitely pleased with the rocking motion he'd taken up, grinding against her ass; she, apparently, was also pleased as she pressed back against him, encouraging the friction with her own body as his teeth scraped over the lobe of her ear.

“Fuck,” she swore, her hands shaking as she finally managed to slide the key home, using it to turn the lock. “That feels good.”

Never one to let a compliment lead to complacently, Cloud licked a line up her neck, tasting her sweat and the bitter tang of her perfume; his tongue found the lobe of her ear once more, then delved into the cavity of it. (Y/N) shivered at the motion as the door fell away, and Cloud guided the both of them inside, kicking the door shut with a heavy boot.

Her home was smaller than he had expected. For some reason, Cloud had imagined her to live in a palace, or something close to it— certainly, the amount of money her jobs paid could keep her more than comfortably in one, if there was one to be found below the plate— but instead of great columns and outrageous interior decorating, Cloud found soft carpet, flourishing plants, and rows of bookshelves filled with knick-knacks and photographs. All in all, (Y/N)'s place just seemed sort of… normal.

"Bedroom's this way," she called out over her shoulder, smirking— but Cloud caught her arm, stopping her.

The idea of knowing the way she kept her room— the intimacy and implications of that knowledge—was too much to bear.

"Here's fine," he said, touching his nose to hers, then tilting his head. "Kiss me."

And boy, did she ever. Her hands threaded through his hair, pulled him to her; her tongue slid past his lips and he groaned into her mouth, cock jumping at her passion. Grabbing her hips, he pulled her pelvis to meet his own, grinding against her; to his surprise, he found his hands knocked away, replaced by her own on him, which began the process of unbuttoning and unzipping. Soon, his cock was free in her soft, graceful hands, and he couldn't even bring himself to be ashamed of the moan he gave as she spat into her hand and stroked him.

"I wanna suck you," she said breathlessly against his lips. "S'that okay with you?"

There was really only one answer to that.

"Fuck yeah," he replied.

He'd meant the words to be confident, even commanding— instead, they came out like a plea. Not that (Y/N) seemed to notice as she dropped to her knees before him, now eye-level with his gently-curving sex. No, he thought as she placed her hands on the crease of his thighs, playing teasingly in the fine dusting of hair there. She didn't seem to be bothered at all.

"You're a big boy," she said with a mischievous grin, her lips only a breath away from his cockhead. "I thought the sword might be over-compensation, but now I'm starting to rethink things a bit."

Cloud would be lying if he said that didn't stroke his ego just a little.

"Just shut up and get on with it," he said, heat rushing to his face. "You can't talk and suck dick too."

She began slowly, so slowly Cloud thought he might die. She kissed his thighs, his belly, leaving his cock untouched; then came teasing kitten licks to his tip, teasing him, delving into his slit to lap at precome. He bucked his hips at her, impatient, and (Y/N) looked up at him with a smirk and said,

"If you don't like how I do it, do it yourself."

So saying, she grabbed a large, gloved hand and placed it on the back of her head, giving him his cue as her mouth returned to his cock. Cloud, shocked, didn't know what to do with himself for a moment— but it didn't take long for him to figure it out. He held her head— so small in comparison to his hands— and fucked her face, shoving his cock into her mouth over and over again as she tried to keep up with her hands and her tongue. She was hot and wet around him, her throat smoothly textured as he fucked deeper and deeper. It felt good to take that kind of control, he noticed, to take his pleasure from her by force.

(Y/N) gagged a little as he thrust roughly, and he thought he might come on the spot.

Perhaps it felt a little too good.

Rougher than he meant to be, he pulled her back by the hair at the base of her skull, gripping the strands close to the scalp. She looked up at him then, teary, breathless, and smiling, and Cloud was struck at once by how ravaged she looked. Gone was the kitten that had teased him at the bar; gone was the confidante who had confronted him about his intentions. In her place was a woman of pleasures, a woman of fleshly desires. This (Y/N), he hardly knew.

"Open your mouth," he said, wiping saliva from the corner of her lips. She did so, sticking out her tongue— and without quite knowing why, he spat into her mouth. A thick glob of spit dropped from his mouth to hers, landing on her outstretched pink tongue; Cloud, feeling dizzy with want at the sight, leaned to seal it with a kiss. As he did so, she moaned against him, lacing her fingers in her hair, and he found himself pulled to the floor with her, his cock in her hand and her tongue in his mouth.

Piece by piece, he undressed her. First to go was her shirt, followed by her bra; ever greedy, Cloud moved to take off his gloves so that he could feel the soft skin of her breasts in his hands, but she stopped him, her eyes gleaming dangerously.

"Leave them on," she told him, placing his gloved hands on her body, just over her pretty, perfect, and probably sensitive nipples. "I like the texture."

And fuck if that wasn't the hottest thing Cloud had ever heard.

Next to go was her shorts. Made of tough black denim, they were hard to slide over the swell of her hips; thankfully, though, her painties came off with them in the struggle, leaving her sex bare and wet in the chilled air of her apartment. With that, she was finally, gloriously naked.

Except, of course, the gun that was strapped to her torso.

It was a mid-size blaster, whose thin holster and belt were nestled snugly against her skin. The gun and all that held it were a sexy matte black, and Cloud quirked a brow at (Y/N) in question.

"What, don't you know I'm always packing?" she teased him, leaning backward to unbuckle the belt that held the holster to her belly. To do so, she stretched her arms behind her back, arching so her tits were in his face, and Cloud was suddenly distracted.

With SOLDIER strength, he pulled (Y/N) to him by the hips. Sneaking one hand up her back, he leaned down to kiss between her breasts, then more to the right, until his mouth enclosed her nipple. Her moan was heady; without thinking about it, he moved the hand at her back to play with the other nipple, rolling it gently between his fingers, and she threw her head back, pressing into him.

"Yes," she pleaded, her hands tight in his hair, "Fuck, that feels good."

For good measure, he licked and sucked at her skin, leaving love-bites in his wake. Even though he knew he'd not see them, there would be some pride in knowing that they were there, a pleasant, aching reminder of this moment.

Cloud could have spent forever in the pillow of her breasts— but his cock was so hard that it was getting difficult to ignore the throbbing between his legs.

"Turn around," he said, unbuckling his shoulder guard. "I want to fuck you on your hands and knees."

It was a partial truth at best. While fucking (Y/N) from begind was a regular fantasy of his, there was an ulterior motive behind it. He wanted both of them to be naked, but he didn't want her to have to see his scars. They were many and jagged all across his body, from training, from fighting, from losing; up close, he sort of looked like a patchwork quilt. Not exactly pleasant to look at, in his opinion.

"Bossy," she fussed, but did as she was told. Soon, her knees were spread, her back arched to expose the wetness between her legs, and Cloud had never felt the need to undress so quickly before in all his life. It was fast, messy, and careless, but he was naked enough in under ten seconds to call it a win as he lined himself up with her entrance.

"Ready?" he asked her, pushing his self control to the limit.

Irritated, she slung her head over her shoulder and said, "Cloud Strife, it you don't put your dick inside me right now I swear to—"

She didn't get to finish her threat. She was choked off the moment his cock slid home, her entire body moving with the force of it. Enveloped in warm, wet heat, Cloud pulled fully out before pressing back in again, biting back a moan as he watched himself disappear inside her folds.

After another slow, lazy thrust, he leaned over so that his chest was touching her back and began fucking her in earnest; he never pulled out very far before he was pounding in and in and in—

"Cat got your tongue?" he murmured into her ear, wrapping one arm around her to gently lock her head next to his as he fucked her. "Usually you have so much to say."

All she said in response was a single, strangled moan.

After that, Cloud lost himself. For him, nothing existed except the act itself; the world extended only to the places their bodies touched, slick and sweaty and obscene. His lips and tongue were busy, kissing and sucking at her neck and licking the salt from her flesh. It took a while for him to realize that the low, growling sound he was hearing came from deep within his own chest, and even then he couldn't manage to muster any shame.

"M'close," he murmured in her ear, tasting the shell of it once more.

"Inside," was all she said, and that in itself was enough to send Cloud hurling over the edge.

He fucked her through his orgasm, only pulling away once he could bear the sensitivity no longer. Still half-mad with wanting, he moved (Y/N) bodily, intending to finish what he'd started with his mouth and fingers— but when he did, he found her shaking, with tears welling in her eyes.

Horrified, Cloud drew away. He hadn't realized he'd been so rough. He hadn't realized that she'd been reacting this way. He hadn't—

"Hey, don't get squeamish now," (Y/N) told him with a weak little smile that made him feel sick. "Calm down, drama queen— I just have a m-mako sensitivity."

"Mako sensitivity?" he parroted, his own voice sounding strangled even to himself.

She nodded and sat up, though it seemed an effort.

"You— You're a walking b-ball of mako energy," she explained. "With you inside me, and with— well, with—"

She faltered, but Cloud nodded. He could imagine perfectly well what she meant.

"You should have told me," he accused her, suddenly angry and very, very hurt. "I wouldn't have— you shouldn't have—"

All he could think of was mako poisoning, somehow his, somehow another's, how sick he'd been, how very close to death he'd come. He'd put her at risk of such a thing. He was a freak, and worse, a fool, for ever thinking he could have—

With slow, pained movements, she placed a hand on his arm.

"It's not like that," she said. "I— I didn't know. I could feel it, but I didn't think—"

She pitched forward suddenly, and Cloud moved to catch her.

"Easy," he told her, and she looked up at him with a small, weak smile.

"Gimme a second," she said as he steadied her. "I'll be right as rain after this."

She withdrew her hand and held it out for him to inspect. Sparks crackled between her fingers, and Cloud flinched backwards, instinctively defensive.

"You're not holding materia," he realized, dumbfounded. "What the hell is this?"

"Dunno," she replied, shrugging as though she'd just shown him a neat party trick and not a literal physical impossibility. "I've always been able to feel mako, and when I get overexposed, this happens."

"That's— that's impossible," he said, because it was.

(Y/N) merely shrugged looking at him with soft eyes.

"I didn't think it would happen with you. It's just sort of my secret. I get close to mako, get a little sick, and then I have to expel it like this or else it just doesn't get any better. It's… a gift and a curse."

Cloud just stared at her, amazed.

"With your permission, though," she continued, mischief glinting in her eyes, "I'd like to try something. Y'know, since we have this issue and all anyway."

Without really thinking, Cloud nodded, and then her hands were on him. The hair on his neck and arms raised as she dragged the pads of her fingers from the base of his neck to the end of his torso, the sensation of her touch unlike anything he'd ever experienced. The air tasted metallic, like ozone; when she stuck her fingers in his mouth, it was like licking a battery. Already, his cock was jumping, excited by her touch, and then she was kissing him, threading her electric hands through his hair. Overcome, Cloud wrapped his arms around her, feeling stupid and lust-drunk and so, so good.

"Touch me more," she told him, electricity popping in the spaces between her fingers. As he did, the popping increased, and he could feel the discharge of her power in the increasingly coppery taste of the air. Each breath was like a mouthful of blood; Cloud was willing to drown in it if it meant her hands would never leave his body.

"Lemme eat you out," he said, kissing the curve of her breast. "I owe you an orgasm."

She pulled back and raised a brow.

"After you made a mess down there?"

"S'the best part," he grumbled, a bit wounded— but before he could complain too much, he found himself pulled forward as (Y/N) leaned back. She hit the floor with a gentle thud, and Cloud seized the opportunity for what it was.

With careful and precise tongue, he tasted her. First, he lapped at her clit, relishing in the sounds she made, then made it a point to gather the semen that had mixed with her wetness, slurping obscenely as he cleaned her folds. Above him, (Y/N) groaned.

"Why is that so hot?" he heard her gasp as she leaned onto her elbows to watch him. "It should not be that— oh, fuck."

Cloud smirked against her sex and licked a long stripe upwards. With his mouth on her clit, he took a freshly un-gloved hand and began to finger her, curling the digits to reach the place that would make her arch her back and cry—

"Fuck!"

Hearing her swear had never been so erotic before now— but Cloud would be damned if that wasn't a sound he'd love to hear on loop forever.

Before long, she was close. He could feel it in the quivering of her thighs, the pulsing of her sex. He kept a steady rhythm, and then she was at her climax, falling hard with the rush of sensation and friendly, feel-good chemicals that left her limp and boneless beneath him.

Perfect for him to continue fucking, now that his cock was hard and leaking again.

"Round two?" he asked, scarcely daring to hope she'd be ready— but then she sat up with a smile and said,

"Hell yeah."

And so it was, over and over, until they were both spent, and Cloud passed the fuck out on her living room floor, satisfied.

When you woke, it was to an empty floor and no note. You were alone in the place where you'd had the most fantastic fuck of your life.

Some part of you had known it would be this way. You had only known him for a handful of months, but in that time, you'd learned that Cloud was an avoidant man by nature— and you were doubtless not the first of his hookups to end this way. Still, the idea that he could just leave after such intimacy was… distressing, for some reason.

Surprisingly, though, that feeling was easy to shake off once you left the dubious comfort of your floor and started planning your work for the week. Blond assholes who happen to give fantastic head amount to very little to a woman on a mission; you thought of him often, but the thoughts were small and benign, always curious and never of hurt or longing, as you had thought they might be. What had happened had simply happened, no more.

Then Mako Reactor 5 fell to terrorist attacks, and the week went to shit so fast that you got whiplash.

Before the reactor fell, you had considered not going to the bar that weekend. You didn't need an end-of-the week drink that badly; Cloud could take the hint and take a week off from the bar the next week and you'd never have to see each other again. After the reactor and your subsequent compromised mission, though? The devil himself could be in attendance that day and you'd sit in his lap and sell your soul for a drink.

So, on Friday, you headed to Hell's Maw as usual. There was a possibility, you knew, of some awkwardness if Cloud was there, but frankly, it wouldn't be the first time you'd avoided an ill-advised hookup in a bar before— surely you could survive this as well. It would just be some weird eye contact and then a little ignoring, and everything would be as good as new.

What you weren't expecting was for Cloud to be perched on your fucking seat again, early and apparently waiting for you.

"Oh boy," you said to no one in particular— and, as if SOLDIER had given him superior hearing as well as inhuman strength and durability, the bastard immediately looked over his shoulder and met your eyes over the Friday night crowd. On the other side of him, you noticed at least five empty glasses and a half-drunk sixth. They weren't water glasses, either. No, they were short, fat whiskey glasses, and, leaning halfway off of his stool, Cloud looked properly sloshed.

Really, there was only one respectable thing to do in a situation like this.

You turned on your heel and left, walking as fast as you could in the opposite direction.

Would that you could have been faster. You had barely gotten two sidewalk cracks away from the bar when a large, warm hand curled around your arm, stopping you.

"Cloud, get off me," you huffed, pulling your arm against his unbreakable grip.

"No," he said simply, and bodily turned you to face him. When he did, he used a bit too much of his strength, and you ended up nose-to-nose, sharing breath.

"If this is about the other night—"

Cloud didn't let you finish. He surged forward, sealing those words with a drunken, sloppy kiss that was somehow still as electric as your first. One of his gloved hands rested at the base of your skull, cradling your head, and the other wandered to your hip, pulling you close enough to feel the growing tent in his pants.

Heaven help you, but you weren't sure if you wanted to stop him.

"M'sorry," he said against your lips, pulling away only far enough to speak. "Didn't really mean to do that."

Then what did you mean? you wondered, but before you could ask, Cloud peeled himself away from you until the only thing connecting you was his hand resting on the junction of your neck and shoulder. The new distance, though slight, was jarring.

"M'sorry," he repeated. "I— we made a mistake."

Oh boy.

"Spare me the dramatics," you said, tired already. "You don't have to explain anything to me, Cloud. I wasn't expecting anything from you other than what I got."

"S'not that." Cloud averted his eyes, shameful, swaying. "I, uh. Shouldn't have put you in that position."

What, does he think I have carpet burn? You wondered, but then Cloud was looking at you with such raw vulnerability that you couldn't even crack a joke at his expense.

"I don't regret what we did last week," you told him gently. "I'm sorry if you do, but if this is out of some kind of misplaced honor—"

"I'm involved in things," he told you in a tight voice that felt as if he'd said them before. "Dangerous things."

If there was any relevance of that claim to their current situation, you certainly couldn't find it.

"You're a dangerous man," you shrugged. "It's one of your better qualities. I'm a dangerous woman myself, so I think that tracks, don't you?"

Cloud shook his head.

“It’s—” he sighed. “It’s complicated.”

If you had learned anything about Cloud, it was that ‘complicated’ was generally code for ‘Shinra’. From there, it didn’t take much to imagine exactly what he meant.

“The reactor,” you hazarded, heart filling with dread. “That was the job Tifa lined up for you. Holy shit, your girlfriend is a fucking eco-terrorist, what the hell—”

“— she is not my girlfriend—”

“Look, pal, that’s definitely not the part of that sentence we need to be focusing on right now.”

You reached out a hand, meaning to reach out and draw Cloud closer. Instead, as you moved forward, you were met with cold steel raised against your neck. Cloud’s eyes were wild with distress and distrust, but the set of his mouth was frozen with coldness that meant he would do what he felt necessary if you pushed him.

“Hey,” you said to him softly. “I’m not your enemy here.”

Slowly, you lifted her hands in surrender. Still uneasy, Cloud lowered his sword. As soon as it was clear of you, you stepped forward into his space, close enough that he could not bring the length of the sword between you. Cloud shifted, trying to move back to where he could use his sword if he needed to, but you stopped him with a hand to his forearm.

“Come home with me,” you said, brushing your thumb over the flesh of his arm. “You’re too drunk to be swinging that thing around, and if you want to talk, it’s best we do that in private. Okay?”

“M’not drunk,” he complained, but the look behind he gave you behind lowered lashes said he didn’t mind going home with you anyway. With swaying movement, he hefted the sword onto his back; once it was secure, he gestured for you to lead the way.

The trip to yours was short and uneventful. Once the door to your home was shut safely behind you, Cloud grabbed you once more, his hands on your hips and his lips on your neck. His touch was warm and so, so tempting— but you gently pried yourself away. He was a wreck, and you weren't about to take advantage of that even if it was what you both wanted.

"Sit on the couch with me," you requested, grabbing his hand. "Let's talk."

As always, Cloud was resistant to the whole talking thing. Instead of poking and prodding, though, you took a different approach this time; you allowed the silence to creep and crawl between the two of you, swishing its tail like some irritated feline, letting it fester until Cloud was ready to bat it away and say what he had come to say. In the meantime, your hands stayed busy, touching, feeling, grounding the man before you. He relaxed into you, muscles loosening; he leaned until his head rested comfortably on your chest. The steady hum of mako buzzed in your head, lulling you almost to sleep— but then, just when you weren't expecting it, Cloud began to speak.

"I made an oath to someone, a long time ago. "

You pulled away enough to see his face, your mouth agape.

"You're married?"

"What? No!" Cloud made a face of horror and distress. "I— There's a lot of things I don't remember, okay?"

Your brows knit.

"So… you could be married."

"Oh, leave off of that, will you? I'm not married! I'd remember that if I was."

There was a note of hesitation in his voice that you didn't like.

"So, this oath," you said, touching the skin of his cheek. "What was it for?"

Cloud shrugged.

"I only have the vaguest notion. I don't remember the words. It's like— it's like the only way to keep it is to continue fighting, to be in this constant state of war— and yet, that feels wrong, too. It consumes me." He looked down at his hands. "It's like that oath is binding me to something bigger than myself… and as a result, I've gotten mixed up with some pretty dangerous stuff."

"Like?"

Cloud looked at you then, his eyes as heavy as they were beautiful.

"Like saving the world."

You did your damnedest not to laugh. It was a near thing, but you succeeded— if only by inches.

"So, let me get this straight… you're now an eco-terrorist because in a time you don't remember, you've taken an oath to save the planet?"

Cloud's jaw locked.

"It's bigger than that. Much bigger than that. Shinra is corrupt, they kill innocent people— and Shinra's not the only thing." He looked away. "I can't talk about it. It's dangerous. You could get hurt, and the more you know makes you a bigger target."

There it was again, that concern. It had been a long time since someone cared if you were hurt. You tried not to let it take away your objectivity.

"I assume Tifa knows?"

So maybe your objectivity was a little screwy. Sue about it.

Cloud grimaced.

"I don't like that any more than you do, but she chose this path a long time ago."

"And Aerith?"

Cloud shook his head.

"She's… insistent."

"So what am I, chopped liver?"

Cloud shook his head.

"This isn't your fight. You aren't involved like they are."

"And I don't have to be for you to tell me—"

"For fuck's sake, just let me keep you safe!" At close range, with his body pressed against yours, you could feel the vibration of his shouting as though it were your own. "Tifa and Aerith, they belong to this world, to this fight— but you belong to me!"

"I don't belong to anyone, hotshot—"

"Exactly!"

You blinked.

"I— I'm not sure I'm following."

A heavy, gloved hand rested on your cheek. You leaned into it, relishing in its warmth.

"Your soul is your own," Cloud said quietly. "You are the master, the possessor of your own self. You won't die for some cause, won't sacrifice yourself for the greater good. You'll survive. It's all you know how to do."

He tested his forehead against yours.

"I need that. I need you at Hell's Maw every Friday night, sitting in the same seat, drinking the same drink. I need you to talk to me like I'm nothing special, to show me your kindness and your sharpness."

He paused. You waited, teetering on the edge of anticipation, unable to know or even to guess what he would say next.

"And now— now that we've gone this far…" His hand drifted from your cheek to your neck, resting just above the curve of your breast. "I'm afraid of needing that too. I don't want you pulled into my world, and I don't want to need you so badly that—"

I don't want to need you so badly that I'm trapped.

You understood. It was possible that you understood better than anyone else ever could have.

"I get it."

He pulled away, but you didn't allow it. You caught him by the arm, bade him stay with gentle insistence. He allowed it, and you pulled him back to rest beside you, nose-to-nose.

"I know you, Cloud Strife," you said, summoning the words that had lodged themselves in your chest for so long. "You're like a wild animal. I cannot seek to own you… but if you come and eat from my hand, let me dress your wounds, and rest your head on my lap in times of trouble, I will count myself lucky to have someone so dear to me."

Hot pinpricks burned your eyes. How long have you waited to say something so true, so real? Why did it feel like a confession?

Cloud didn't seem to notice your distress— or, perhaps it was because he noticed your distress that he leaned forward, slowly, gently, and kissed you chastely on the mouth. You could taste the liquor on his lips; hungering for more, you deepened it, but Cloud kept a steady rhythm, holding you tenderly.

"Thank you," he said, pulling away.

"For what?" you laughed.

"For being here, for taking care of me. For not letting me wander home by myself, drunk and stupid."

"Of course." A smile stretched your face. "Any time."

The two of you stayed there for a long time, sharing breath, exchanging tender touches. Tomorrow, things might change— another reactor might blow, the plate might drop, or Cloud might use up the last of his nine lives— but tonight, nothing existed outside of your too-small couch. Tonight, he was yours, and that was all that mattered.

#cloud strife #cloud strife x reader #cloud x reader #cloud strife smut #FFVII #ffvii fanfiction #smut #fem!reader #assassin!reader

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theretr0skeleton · 2 months

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Screen shot redraw!

#ff7 rebirth #ff7 remake #ff7 #ff7r #ff7r spoilers #ff7 rebirth spoilers #ff7 fanart #ff7 sephiroth #sephiroth #sephiroth fanart #ff7 cloud #final fantasy 7 #final fantasy vii #ffvii #ffvii rebirth #ffvii remake #ffvii fanart #ffvii fanfiction

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yuurivoice · 1 month

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Tomorrow Has To Wait, a Cloud & Aerith One-Shot

A FFVII Rebirth Cloud & Aerith fic. Contains spoilers through Gongaga (and beyond tbh). Cloud slips away into the night to be alone with his thoughts. How can he protect the ones he cares for most if he cannot even trust himself?

Aerith Gainsborough brought me out of fic writing retirement. You ever been down so bad that you got in touch with your inner child, your first dreams and aspirations, and a craft you've long left on the shelf? I have, and it got about 2.8k words and a long afternoon outta me.

Be kind, it's been a long time for this old boy.

Read on AO3 here. Snippet beneath the read more.

Gongaga nights were humid, the dense kind of humidity that clings to however much exposed skin it can find, and sleeping in it was no easy task. However, up above the trees standing at the top of a mostly ruined observation tower, Cloud was breathing in the crisp breeze and gazing up at the stars.

“It’s not so different from Nibelheim.” He recalled kicking his feet off the edge of the water tower, looking through the window of the cute girl next door and then desperately trying to look anywhere but there to avoid being weird. That was so long ago, but nowadays he felt more in touch with the awkward, silent kid than a seasoned SOLDIER.

Even with Tifa’s forgiveness for what happened at the reactor, Cloud couldn’t find enough quiet in his mind to rest. He was anxious. How in the hell was anyone supposed to trust him if he couldn’t trust himself? Despite their party growing stronger and more determined than ever, the war waging on in his mind was one he had to fight alone. The migraines, the memories, the uneasy feeling lingering in his chest any time they encounter another one of the robed men. If he shared his concerns, those little moments where he lost himself, there was no chance they’d keep him around. Barret wouldn’t let anything put his mission to save the planet at risk, not when Marlene was back home waiting to live a long happy life on a planet that hasn’t been sucked dry of its essence.

There was a pounding in his chest, a part of him that shouted that his honor wouldn’t let him fail those he cared about the most. So why did it feel so right killing those Shinra bastards? Why did his blade flow so effortlessly as he danced through them like the evening breeze?

Why did he love the warmth of their blood on his cheeks?

You know why, Cloud…

“Shut up.” Cloud lifted the Buster Sword from his back and held it upright before him, staring at the hilt as his hands gripped it tight. His knuckles cracked as the leatherbound hilt groaned in his palms. This blade was held in this position many times before to remind the wielder of his honor as a SOLDIER, but those days were long past.

You can’t deny it forever. They’ll understand. They already know. You don’t belong with them…

Tighter. Cloud’s muscles tensed as his eyes shut tight, begging for this creative imagination of his to let him see his hands wrapped around Sephiroth’s throat.

You will fail them again…

Cloud’s chest heaved with raspy breaths, as if it were his own throat he was clutching. Squeezing. Tighter. Tighter goddammit. He wanted to feel the grip of the sword snap in two. He wanted something to break. Anything. Everything.

Then, silence.

Gentle hands rest on top of his, joining him in holding the sword, now wrapped in a warm embrace from behind. There was no breeze, no wildlife, and no voice in his head.

There was only Aerith.

#ffvii rebirth #ffvii fanfiction #cloud x aerith #aerith x cloud #ff7 rebirth #hi i know y'all ain't really tryna hear all that #but thank you to anyone who reads and shows it some love #i'm so rusty and my vocabulary has regressed immensely #but i'd do it for her again #and cloud was there too i guess

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sageteapost · 1 year

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hello!

May I request that you do a cloud strife x reader where the reader uses duel blades? These blades actually have short range and long range attacks and ( with enough force) can propel the reader forward? I would like them to meet in the scene where Jessie is seeing Biggs and wedge on bikes, but they see an extra bike and that’s the readers? The whole scene plays out and the reader is super badass, pulling enemy’s back with their duel blades and throwing them into a wall. Then after, they talk a bit and find out that they are a SOLDIER aswell..? IDK if this could be written so I’m sorry I’m advance if it can’t so feel free to tell me if you can’t!

| Cloud Strife & A Dual Blade User Reader |

[ Cloud Strife x GN! Reader ]

TW & CW + Tags: Violence (not super detailed). Mentions of firearms and blades. Reader is a SOLDIER as well. [No relationship mentioned. GN! Reader.]

Summary: A small fic of Cloud Strife meeting the reader who uses duel blades and eventually finds out that they are also a SOLDIER as well.

[(A/N): Hey there anon! My apologies for the late reply to your request. Not gonna lie, the reader gives off a bit of Ignis Scientia from Final Fantasy XV! I was in a mood to write a small fic for this one. I'm not sure if you wanted a fic request, if not let me know! As always, enjoy!]

"Looks like we got more company!" cries Jessie, Shinra infantrymen catching up close behind the others. The smell of rubber creating friction on the road was strong, and the roar of the motorcycle echos throughout the tunnel. "Quit moving around, or you'll fall off the bike," Cloud says while maintaining full attention on the lit road ahead of him.

"Hey Cloud! Take care of them, will ya?!" Biggs yells as Wedge holds onto Biggs for dear life. "We cannot let them ruin the mission!" Cloud hums in acknowledgement, making a cue for Jessie to take over driving the bike. She responds swiftly, and Cloud makes a leap onto onto one of the infantry's bikes and quickly taking him out.

"You!! Avalanche scum!" shouts an infantrymen, moving his bike closer towards Cloud so he can strike.

"Not so fast!"

A sharp object swiftly flys into the back of the man, earning a shout of pain from him and losing control of his bike.

Cloud makes a face of confusion for a moment, but before he could do anything he hears a motorbike pull up from behind, breaking him from his thoughts. "You guys abandoned me back at the meeting place! I was looking for y'all everywhere!"

Cloud turns to his left, and he sees you. As you're fighting one last infantrymen with your blades, your (H/C) hair lights up from the bright overhead lights in the tunnel, your mako green eyes are as sharp as a hawk, and he notices the daggers on your side as you slam the infantrymen hard into the wall.

The biggest thing he notices instantly however, is your outfit. A SOLDIER uniform, actually.

"Sorry (Y/N)! I thought you were right behind us the whole time," Jessie says with a sheepish laugh. "Glad you caught up with us! You would have missed out on our SOLDIER boy there! He's badass, don't you think?"

You turn your head slightly towards Cloud, making eye contact with his mako green eyes. Cracking a small smile, you reply, "Oh no, I saw. He's pretty good!"

Cloud quickly shifts his eyes back to the road. "C'mon. We're almost at the end of the tunnel."

"Right. Let's get a move on!" Jessie shouts out with pure energy.

...

Mission success! Now it was time to get the hell out of there and go home. Before you could drive off on your bike, Cloud stops you.

"Nice job back there."

You look at him in confusion, before replying with a smile. "Thanks, just what I do. I could say the same thing about you too." Cloud hums quietly, before asking, "...You're a SOLDIER, aren't you?"

Your smile drops just a tad bit and your eyes drift away from his. "That obvious, huh?"

"It's the uniform. And the trademark mako eyes."

"Right. Figured you should have known, since you are one too."

"Ex-SOLDIER. I'm just a mercenary now. I quit a long time ago."

You chuckle lightly, the cool night breeze of Midgar brushes away a strand of your hair. You look up towards a mako reactor, its bright light beaming up into the night sky. "It's getting late. We should go home," you say.

"Right," Cloud adds moving away from your bike and hopping on to his own and starting the engine.

"Wait," hearing your voice and looks up. "I never got your name. Who knows? We might meet again someday."

Cloud stays quiet for a moment. Only the sound of the humming engine fills the brief silence between the two of you. And with that, he finally replies.

"...Cloud. Cloud Strife."

#ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ request approved #cloud strife x reader #ffvii x reader #ffvii fanfiction #cloud strife x gn reader #cloud strife fanfic #ff7 x reader #ff7 cloud x reader #ff7 cloud

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ghost-pocky · 3 months

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Literally obsessed over the idea of Cloud Strife being in emotional tatters after remembering the truth about the events in his home town to the point where he goes full fledged Jenova cells crisis-core style, sprouts one wing, and goes into an absolute rage , hyper-focused on revenge because if he lets himself think clearly for just a second his own instability and regrets would be too much to bare. He separates himself from the group and Aerith is forced to pursue him, the man she’s fallen for but hasn’t told, before his recklessness gets him killed.

#ffvii #ffvii fanfiction #ffvii spoilers #clerith #cloud strife #aerith gainsborough #ffvii remake #ffvii rebirth #crisis core #fic ideas #I know this fandom has been around forever but I’m new to it so <3

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zakkura · 9 months

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Zakkura Drabble: ~

Zack x Cloud Suggestive Set sometime after Advent Children (in an alternate universe where best boy lives)

:｡･:*:･ﾟ’★,｡･:*:･ﾟ’☆

Cloud couldn’t help the tears that overflowed and rushed down his cheeks as he dashed forwards and grabbed the front of Zack’s shirt; startling the other man.

“I hate this,” Cloud said through gritted teeth as he hiccups left his lips, “I hate you for making me feel this way,” he heard Zack let out a small sad sigh.

“you’re the most annoying man I have ever met, you joke around too much, yo-you constantly make stupid puns about my name and you flirt without so much of a thought to what that does to the person,” Cloud could feel his face burning as he stared down at the floor, tears blurring his vision.

“I don’t understand what you’re trying to say,” Zack muttered as he tried to hold himself back from comforting his friend as he seemed like he might get his hand bitten off.

“I am so stupidly in love with you!” Cloud yelled as his head snapped up, face twisted in anger and yet there was also a very lost and uncertain glint in his eyes, “I have been in love with you since I was a teenager on those missions we did together, when you saved me, when you kept me with you and went out of your way to bring us to Midgar,” Cloud hissed and gripped the fabric of Zack’s shirt tighter, “after all those talks and e-mails and texts and intimate moments you just went back to Aerith!” his face fell into utter despair as he shoved Zack away from him and turned around so he could at least have a little dignity.

“Cloud-”

“Shut up!” Cloud was embarrassed and insecure, ashamed of who he was and how he had fallen for a man who was in love with his other best friend; it wasn’t even Zack’s fault and yet here he was acting as if it was.

“No, you listen to me right now,” Zack argued and grabbed his blonde friend by his arm, turning him around so that he could face him even though Cloud quickly averted his gaze to the side, face completely flushed and distraught.

“I am not ‘going back to Aerith’,” he rolled his eyes as Cloud made a mocking sound as if he didn’t believe him and to a certain extent he could understand why Cloud would feel that way, he was constantly with the flower-girl.

“Zack, please don’t lie to me, I’m embarrassed enough,” Zack felt his heart ache a little, hands moving up to gentle hold the other’s shoulders.

“I’m in love with you, Cloud, you moron,” Zack stated bluntly with a big smile appearing on his face as he felt Cloud freeze under his hands.

“Don’t you dare, take the piss out of me,” Cloud spat as he covered his face a bit to hide the fact that tears were still falling down his cheeks, “I needed to let you know okay, I’m sorry for that but telling me such a load of shit is not fair!” he added trying to push the taller and much bulkier man away from him, only to be pulled back so that they were pressed together and even though Tifa’s Bar was empty and quiet already, there seemed to be another layer of silence that fell over them.

“I think telling you that I’m in love with you as well, is perfectly fair,” the emphasis on fair and the cheeky grin on Zack’s face nearly made him laugh but he kept his anger boiling at the front as his face continued to get darker in shade, his eyes widened greatly as the man he adored moved his face closer.

“Cloud Strife,” he almost purred his name and grabbed the blondes hand, pressing it against his chest, “I am in love with you and have been since you removed your helmet all those years ago and as much as I adore both Tifa and Aerith, I’m afraid they don’t really have anything that I would want,” he arched his eyebrow at Cloud who seemed to be in a state of shock and shyness, wanting to lean forwards but too scared.

Zack paused for a second to see if Cloud would respond, but as he expected, his friend stayed silent, too nervous to let anymore words come out.

“I love you,” Zack repeated with a serious face, no smirk, no smile, nothing that would indicate that he was being playful and Cloud thought his knees would give in.

Thankfully Cadet training made it quite easy to brush that feeling aside.

Well, at least for a few seconds before Zack quickly, but passionately brough their lips together, hand still holding Cloud’s against his chest.

Cloud could feeling his own heart racing, it felt so forceful and he nearly pulled away when he let out a low moan as their tongues met.

Zack was quick on his reflexes and gently held the back of Cloud’s head to keep the kiss going, finally letting the blondes hand go, which in turn, moved so that both his hands were caressing the back of Zack’s neck, tugging at the hair there.

“Shit,” Zack stuttered as he pulled back ever so slightly to breathe, eyes meeting Cloud’s before he dived right back in, pushing the blonde a little too hard against the wall so they could press against each other without the fear of falling over.

He was going to apologise for being rough but the groan that left Cloud made him realise that his friend, now lover, enjoyed such treatment.

“Jump,” he whispered, teeth biting down of Cloud’s neck like an animal as the blonde followed his orders, legs thick and strong around his waist making the black haired man let out a long whine.

Cloud’s legs always being a weakness of his that he had had to keep to himself throughout all the times they had stayed in hotel rooms together through their missions.

Cloud always did sleep in a shirt and boxer shorts after all and if he did get caught staring, he was very quick to say it was because he was looking for any injuries as the blondes superior.

“I love you, Zack,” Cloud whimpered, hands holding either side of Zack’s face, the both of the panting hard and flushed in the face.

“I love you too, you idiot,” Zack grinned before letting out a loud yelp as Cloud punched him in the shoulder, an adorable glare on his face.

#zakkura writes: zack x cloud #My writing #zakkura #clack #zack x cloud #cloud x zack #zakkura fanfiction #fantiction #final fantasy vii fanfiction #ffvii fanfic #ffvii fanfiction #ffvii zakkura #ffvii husbands #crisis core #zack fair #cloud strife

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kay-i · 11 months

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Finally new 🔞aeriseph fic on AO3!

(as well as WIP that I might finish one day)

❗️Sephiroth x Aerith x Safer in an unsafe one shot👀

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vincentvalentineweek · 2 months

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#final fantasy vii #vincent valentine #final fantasy 7 #final fantasy series #compilation of final fantasy vii #valentine #ff7r #ff7 #fan week #dirge of cerberus #final fantasy vii rebirth #ffvii rebirth #ffvii fanfiction #ff7 fanfic

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chocopup7 · 6 months

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It's been a while since I posted on Tumblr, but I wanted to share my Sephiroth Week fic! This was for Day 4: Free Day, but it also fits the Day 1 prompt, which is Beginnings.

Read it here!

#sephirothweek #sephiroth #cloud strife #sefikura #ffvii fanfiction #final fantasy vii #ff7 #ffvii #crisis core

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tunafishprincess · 1 month

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Last chapter of Patricide is Harder than it looks is now up

#ffvii #ff7 #ffvii au #ff7 au #ff7 fanfic #ffvii fanfiction #cloud strife #sephiroth

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myvampyrez · 30 days

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Hi! So, for the request, i was wondering if you could do sfw and nsfw (if u want, ofc) headcanons like you did for Vergil, but for Cloud Strife? It’d be super nice if you could, but no problem if u don’t like the request !!

cloud strife (n)sfw hc’s 𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪

┊ ˚➶ notes ｡˚ 🎼

i haven’t recovered from crisis core, guys.

┊ ˚➶ warnings ｡˚ 🎼

spoilers and mentions of crisis core and advent children, mentions of the massage scene in ffvii remake 😭😭, nsfw will be labeled and put in a separate section of headcanons, intended lowercase, lmk if i missed anything, love 💕!!

. ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄ . ˚◞♡ ⃗ *ೃ༄

❥ so!!

❥ let me just start by saying that when you start dating cloud, you must know what you’re getting into— and by that, i mean that he’s super emotionally constipated and is often frazzled with his memory (depending on which arc we’re in).

❥ i think you’d have more luck with a more receptive response if you met him during cc or somewhat before, for instance— being childhood friends with him like tifa was. i think after the events of cc / during ac is where it gets more difficult to get him to open up.

❥ for love language, in terms of giving, i think cloud performs acts of service to show his love. he absolutely sucks with words but small things he does are his subtle ways of showing you he loves you without being able to say it. like walking you home or making you coffee when he notices that you’ve stayed up the night before.

❥ clouds very observant, so while you were at your desk working on whatever you were doing, he came home a little late to see you slaving away at your desk. he didn’t say much, if anything maybe a, “you’re up?” before he goes to sleep. but that morning he makes sure to wake up extra early to make you some coffee.

❥ or maybe, when you guys are hanging out at seventh heaven or something, he’ll walk you home. his excuse is that it’s not safe in the slums to walk home by yourself.. and while that is true, he just really wants to make sure you’re safe. he’ll act like he’s bothered by your small talk, but will still continue to respond.

❥ another thing i might consider for cloud is gift giving. he’d probably bring you something back from the other sectors if hes on a mission or something.

❥ with receiving love languages, i think it’d take him some time to be open to it but words of affirmation always manages to tint his cheeks a little pink.

❥ he can’t help it?? he’s just like a old pitbull that craves pets every so once in awhile. he’s the dog that’ll lay at your feet with a big sigh as you gentle rub behind his ears, even though he’ll literally walk away five minutes later as if he wasn’t clinging onto you.

❥ due to hectic and erratic schedule of his job, he also cherishes the quality time that you two have while you can. even if this is before he’s a merc, maybe perhaps when he’s still a shinra infantryman, he still revels in the moments you two spend alone. anything could happen, and he’s grateful for every moment he spends with you, especially after the events of cc.

❥ he can be the wisest dude ever and then malfunction right afterwards. this is also stemmed from his interaction with jessie in ffvii remake where he says that survival is a matter of luck and skill, and you can’t rely on luck— to which jessie agrees. then he literally doesn’t know what to say afterwards. it’s like a.. 35/65 chance of these moments. just agree with him or compliment his thoughts and that’ll be enough to shut him up for a few minutes!!!

❥ as for dates!! i read @silverflqmes’s dating headcanons for agzsc (by the way??? amazing??? go follow them rn!1!1!1) and they mentioned how they could see cloud taking you out on his motorcycle to the outskirts and let me tell you I AGREE. cloud is obviously not a people person, so i also think he’d prefer to go to a small clearing or somewhere quiet where only the two of you would be seen. after all the chaos of his job, he likes a little quiet time.

❥ i don’t think cloud would like to have you involved in his work, and if you were, he’d at least spend a lot of time sparring with you or training with you to help teach you defense. he overthinks a lot, so he’s always thought about something happening while he’s away. “you need to be able to protect yourself when i’m not there.” he always says. cloud may not be a very.. responsive— teacher but you’ll definitely learn something nonetheless!!

❥ don’t let cloud’s bluntness fool you!! he may be dry but he does care for you!!! you may not realize it but you could ask for almost anything from him and he’d oblige for free, and we all know cloud, he’s just doin stuff for the pay. oh it’s 250 gil? nah keep it he’ll get it for you dwdw pookie.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈ ｡ﾟ

NSFW BELOW ꨄ︎

❥ let me just get smth off my chest, okay???

❥ i am a firm rider on the virgin/inexperienced!cloud train.

❥ and no it’s not just because this is lowkey self indulgent, i just don’t really think cloud ever took much of an interest with pursuing sexual and romantic relationships like that.

❥ i can’t see cloud doing anything wild either? i think he’s pretty vanilla for the most part besides maybe a small praise kink or something like that. just you telling him how good he feels or how good he’s making you feel is like an instant uplifter for him.

❥ guys.. that deluxe massage scene.. stays rent free in my brain..

❥ yeah those noises in that scene also apply to the bedroom, too.

❥ pace definitely depends on his mood!! if you guys are both tired or just don’t feel like going super fast, then cloud will take more of a slow pace, maybe even occasionally teasing you. but if he’s perhaps a little jealous, albeit how much he tries to assure you that he doesn’t, then he will literally drill into you. good luck 😭.

❥ cloud doesn’t have a very high libido, but he still savors the moments when you guys do get intimate. that’s why he likes to go slow— so that you both can really cherish this moment. even if he’s super awkward and unsure of what to do with himself.

❥ cloud’s definitely pretty average in terms of girth, maybe a little bit more lengthier? he’s very sensitive though, so be careful!!!

❥ you def are gonna have to show cloud what makes you feel good and what to do in these moments considering his inexperience. cloud’s a quick learner though, so he should pick up on it pretty fast.

❥ he’s very observant, and on days when he’s focused on giving you pleasure, he makes sure to take notice of all your expressions and noises.

❥ i need to be contained holy crap

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cloti-strifehart · 2 months

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Who We Are

Title: Who We Are

Author: KristinaMarie

Chapters: 1/?

Fandom: Final Fantasy VII

Rating: M (will be E in later chapters)

Pairing: Cloud Strife/Tifa Lockhart

Summary: Cloud is racked with guilt after nearly killing Tifa under Sephiroth's influence. He carries her limp body back to the village, and as Tifa sleeps, Cloud realizes that he feels most himself when loving and protecting her. The story explores Cloud's anguish over nearly losing Tifa, his steadfast devotion to her, and his commitment to fight Sephiroth's memory to regain himself.

Read on AO3

Notes: This storyline in Rebirth is so beautifully done, I can't help but explore it more deeply. Cloud's psyche has always been so interesting to me, and I'm convinced that without Tifa, he'd become a shell of himself once again. Cloud's self-purpose started with Tifa. I think Sephiroth knows the influence Tifa has on Cloud, and the theory that he's aware of that and wants to corrupt Cloud against her to help himself succeed is so good. So, here's my imagining of how Cloud will figure it all out.

I have one more chapter in mind which will earn the E rating. I'd like to continue this, depending on how that goes and if inspiration hits. Let me know what you think! Unbeta'd.

There may be discrepancies with canon in this story. My apologies!

Tags: How i wanted it to go // The scene was perfection don't get me wrong // But why not? // Cloud Strife Needs a Hug // And to get a grip // That's where Tifa comes in // The gang just wants to help // Trauma // Angst // Guilt // Promises // Cloud tries to figure things out // Thought she was dead again // Promptly shuts down // 404 Error Cloud Not Found // Canon Rewrite // Canon Divergence - Final Fantasy VII Rebirth // rated M for now // Just barely M // Rating May Change // Will be Rated E in future chapters

______________________________________________________________

I was supposed to protect you, no matter what's to come.

Somehow forgot when they told me we hurt the ones we love.

- Friendly Fire, Linkin Park -

Sephiroth didn’t kill her.

Liar.

I killed her.

Imposter.

I killed Tifa.

Who is she?

She’s my… she’s…

Another streak of white hot pain screams through Cloud’s temples where he sits, elbows resting on his drawn up knees.

No. Not his temples. Across his face, his cheekbone against the hammer that is Barrett’s fist. Cloud takes the punch unfazed, deserving, because he did this. He’s the reason she…

She’s dead.

Cloud killed Tifa. He backed her up against the mako pit, swung at her with his blade. All because he listened to him. So sure she wasn’t who she said she was.

But it’s Cloud who’s not himself. If he ever was.

He felt like he was, around her…

Barret roars. Will he punch him again? Cloud hopes so, if it’ll help.

“Hey, get your shit together! Tifa needs you!”

Cloud stands with knees daring to buckle. She said she needed me once. Made me promise. Each step toward the pool of mako feels like he’s trudging through cement.

I’m no hero. I’m not anything, anymore.

That’s it. He’s not anything. That’s why his bones feel like jelly, why his blood feels cold and sluggish in his veins. Moments ago everything was a blur around him, like looking through heat rising off concrete, pressure behind his temples.

Something laughs. Laughs. Then Cloud’s thoughts clear, his head gloriously empty to match his chest. If there was a pulse beneath his armor, he’d be surprised. Ashamed.

Without Tifa, what was the point?

But that clarity… it came and went. Both strongest and weakest around her.

Something roars. The Weapon. It looms over them and when Cloud looks up, the light is blinding.

Then … she’s there. Somehow she’s there. And the silence in his head is so forgiving.

Cloud falls to his knees for the second time that day, palms on the ground as he hovers over Tifa’s soaked, still body. Pain flickers in his chest, now; flows out through his limbs, stokes his heart to beat at an infuriating pace.

She sputters wet coughs and her eyes flutter open and everything inside Cloud hurts so much…

It makes him want to smile.

Cloud carries her the whole way back to the village. Like a cross to bear. Like he should have done back when…

When I killed her.

She sleeps in his arms, head tucked between his chin and shoulder. Cloud maneuvers her only when he has to in order to cross the terrain, keeping his voice low and his words short each time he needs to wake her.

“Tifa, listen to me.”

“Tifa, put your arms around me.”

“Tifa, hold on to me.”

She does what he asks each time, arms moving languidly, heavy with exhaustion. She’s so strong. She’s a big girl, always has been.

She’d been right back in Kalm. He hadn’t been there for her. He should have, but…

It’s hard to think back to the mako reactor in Nibelheim. His temples throb when he does, but he does it anyway, because… because…

He can still feel the rage that flowed through him in Nibelheim. But before that was the emptiness. That hollow nothingness that echoed throughout every tainted cell of his being as he’d carried Tifa, just like this. As he’d nearly lost her, just like this.

You know she's dead.

No. She’s warm in Cloud's arms. Her breath whispers against his skin. The scar peaks at him from under her top. Tifa. His Tifa. She’d waited for him; found him at the train station. She’s been here all along. And where was he?

He’s here for her now. And look at what it’s done - nearly cost her her life. Nearly lost her again… Without her, there’s nothing. Nothing left but the other part of him he doesn’t recognize, or maybe recognizes too well. The part of him that feels so wrong when Tifa isn’t with him, that pushes out all that feels painful and perfectly right.

The part he wants to remember, but fights against him when he tries… except when she’s with him.

When the party finally arrives, the group buzzes about, busying themselves with ways to help Tifa. Barret leads the way, clearing it, still grumpy that he didn’t carry Tifa back himself. Cloud should have let him, he thinks, but the moment he picked up Tifa’s limp body, his head and chest screamed not to put her down; to keep her warmth close to remind him she’s alive. Not dead, by his hand or by Sephiroth’s. Aerith announces she’ll grab blankets, water, food, the kitchen sink too, probably. Yuffie nips at his heels chirping away, how can I help, what can I do, is she okay?

Cloud almost feels bad when he crosses the threshold of the bedroom and kicks the door shut in Yuffie’s face. Almost.

“We’re here, Tifa,” Cloud murmurs against her forehead. This time, despite the commotion in the next room, she doesn’t stir. The familiar chaotic bustle of doting friends makes her feel safe, he guesses.

He wants to be that for her. He’s tried to be that, so many times. When they were in the village as kids. On Mt. Nibel…

Carefully, Cloud lays her atop the bed over the blankets, kneeling one knee on the mattress as he sets to work. As gentle as he makes sure to be, it all feels mechanical, what he’s doing. Pulling her red boots off her feet. Sliding her thigh highs down her legs. Undoing her gear from around her waist, wrists, and arms. Even the ponytail holder has to go. It’s all dirty, tainted. Like him.

Cloud knows what has to come next, and he knows the girls just outside the room are better suited for this job. But he has to do it. He has to be there for her. He’d promised.

Pushing off the bed, Cloud moves with quick determination to the door where Yuffie is still yammering and Red still scratching at the wood. Cloud yanks the door open, effectively quieting them all. Except Aerith who simply stands there with those sad eyes of hers, always sad, a blanket folded in her arms.

Cloud can’t bring himself to look into her eyes. He knows. He knows he’s the cause of all this.

He’ll apologize later, he decides, as he yanks the blanket from Aerith’s arms and shuts the door again, this time twisting the lock. He…. They need privacy. He needs to do this. He’s known Tifa his whole life. No one knows Tifa like him.

Right?

Cloud returns to her bedside, letting that thought distract him as he works.

I know Tifa better than anyone.

First he removes his own heavy gear, leaving only his sweater and fatigues.

And she knows me better than anyone.

He coaxes Tifa into a sitting position, slumped against him, forehead against his shoulder.

Better than I know myself.

Her suspenders were easy enough to pop off. Gripping the back of the fabric, Cloud rolls her white top up and over her head, then the black one next. It all needs to be washed after being in the belly of the Weapon. He keeps his eyes trained to the wall and lets his touch guide him. She feels so warm against him, and he finds himself thanking whoever’s listening for that. She’s warm. His one arm wraps around her waist to keep her body pressed against his, ensuring modesty, while his other arm pulls Aerith’s blanket around her. Leaning forward, he guides Tifa back to the pillow, then straightens the blanket around her before reaching beneath it to undo her bottoms. He know it’s awful of him, but his fingers yearn to feel more than the smooth, warm glide of her skin as he pulls off her skirt, her underwear…

He only ever feels warm around Tifa, he thinks. Like his blood suddenly remembers how to move through his veins.

Her clothes neatly set aside for later washing, Cloud kneels beside the bed, hands on his knees, shoulders straight as he checks over his work. Tifa is still sleeping, none the wiser, every bit of her covered and her dignity intact.

A smile hints at the corner of her lips, and Cloud buckles, shoulders slumping forward while his fingers dig into his knees.

What had he done?

He chokes against the sobs racking through his body, swallowing them down so as not to wake her.

You tried to… you almost…

What is she?

Cloud fists his hands in his chocobo hair and doubles over, his tears falling onto his fatigues and wetting it there. “Shes Tifa,” he hisses. “My Tifa. You… you tried to take her from me. Take everything from me.”

He knows Sephiroth is kneeling behind him, grinning, whispering into his ear. But Cloud can’t feel nothing like his former hero wants him to. Not this time. Because Tifa needs him. She needs him, and the anger is raw and lawless within him.

This is when he feels most like himself, he thinks. This, and when he’s loving Tifa.

Cloud’s eyes snap open. His hands slowly leave his hair, moving to the mattress to grip the hem of Tifa’s blanket.

When I’m loving her…

That’s when everything makes sense, he thinks. That’s when he feels like… like Cloud.

Years of hiding feel forgotten as he climbs onto the bed, easing himself down alongside Tifa’s still body. Unsteady fingers brush her stray hair behind her ear, then trails down to the nape of her neck, holding her there so he can press his forehead to hers. He knows he doesn’t deserve this; shouldn’t let his nose slide along hers, his blonde eyelashes flutter against her long, dark, whispy ones. The arm under them curls under her neck so that his forearm can cradle the back of her head, and his free arm moves from her nape to her waist, wanting nothing more than to crush her against his chest like he did in Aerith’s garden. Instead he insistently shows restraint, but only enough to satiate himself with the rise and fall of her chest against him. He needs this.

Needs her.

Cloud tucks the blanket more tightly around Tifa, though his hands tremble where they hover over the hem overlapped across her front. Years ago, days ago, hours ago, he couldn’t imagine himself doing this, but now… His fingers part the blanket just enough to smooth his hand under to her stomach, following the dip of her navel up until he finds it - the raised edges of the scar. The very thing he’s denied, burning into his fingertips and scarring there as proof.

He’ll never doubt her again, he swears. Another promise.

Cloud lets the tears come until he slips into dreaming, where he finds Tifa on the tower in her blue summer dress, smiling at him and asking for promises he’ll always, always keep.

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