#ffucking christ im going to black out again
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someone: thinks ive shut about doctor who!!
me, about to go on a longass rant about world enough and time, as well as how bill’s “death” is not at all equal to clara’s “death” and im not just saying that bc im gay: :3c
first of all, i have to preface this: kind of peeved that the closest thing a companion (of the new era, before ppl suck their own titties!) has come to Death, JUST so happens to be the companion whos also uhhh... 1) the only LESBIAN companion, and 2) the only black companion in 10 years (and also the only black one, who wasnt treated like absolute SHITE mind you!!!!!!!). obviously she isn’t DEAD-dead - and does still get a happy, fulfilled “life” with her girlfriend and im happy with that, and its sth i’ll obviously mention more - but nonetheless the whole thing kind of reeks a widdle bit andim like H. H. H.
however.. good GOD, despite it all world enough and time is one of my new favourites of the new who - not that i hate doctor falls, just that the former episode is so GOOD. LIKE. christ, everything concerning bill’s entire journey broke my damn heart so much (and i cried, fully, for the first time in a while) and the whole episode was so haunting and everything that happened to bill was so undeniably tragic, in what could hve been a beautiful way had it not been for the above point. like again- ffuck, it skeeves me out when i think that THAT happened to the only black lesbian, because even if she’s technically fine, but also kind of not, and i’m still like. ugudughdig but otherwise it was just so.. like the reveal at the end was obvious, but in the perfectway???
bc GOD it was just heartbreaking- like you KNOW thats her but my ass was sat there begging for it not to be, and the scenes afterwards in the doctor falls with herlooking into the mirror?? good god. NONE of it was helped by the fact bill might just literally be my FAVOURITE companion - tied maybe only with Donna (??who, perhaps, might be bumped up a little simply for nostalgias sake and tennant era points) - and CHRIST for her, of all of them to become a cyberman??? LIKE- this... might just me being gay, huh, but what i think i found the most Beautiful about bill in particular, was her vibrancy and her emotion - and again, not to be uhhh gay - but they said it themselves!! when she sees something she doesn’t understand, she smiles and i dddont know HOW to say it quite well, bc im shite at that shit but god there was just such a warmth to her and just. listen. her becoming a cyberman. fuck off!! its horrible!!! im gonna bawl, bitch!!!!! im ggonna b
because also? okay. OTHER thing: cybermen in the revival have honestly been so lacking, tbh. like i will say- when i first saw them, i was terrified, and the whole sequence in rise of the cybermen/age of steel back in s2 where they just walked in and all you heard was screaming and saw the spinny blades? OKAY. that scared me- but i was six and with a (hopefully) more mature perspective i fee like... they could do so much better?? LIKE- whilst, like... OBVIOUSLY with DW there’s lines to draw, given its nature as a Family Show but cybermen, as a concept is disturbing as shit. and im not trying to imply darker = better but i feel like.... a lot of the time, they can be reduced a little to something akin to zombies with electric arms, and their true terror is kind of REDUCED to something a lot less unique, and a lot more generic OH LOOK, HOW SCARY! THEYRE GOING TO GET US! with so much emphasis on the bravado, and the flavour that the true substance of them is.. lacking? missing?
a lot of the same thing happened with the daleks, yet even worse- because christ, a lot of early new who is very rough around the edges, S1&S2&S4 especially but their portrayal of the daleks was brilliant, most especially in S1′s episode Dalek. which... LISTEN. some parts of that episode aside, the fact that the most terrifying depiction of a DALEK comes from the episode where there’s, like, one of them and the emphasis is put on that only one, and how DESPITE tht the doctor is, for the first time in the revival, unabashedly horrified. and watching it as it eliminates them one by one, in a show ruthlessness and how infallible it is is thrown into spotlight, rather than the BIG FLASHY WHISK!! situation AND obviously they had to progress past that to keep it fresh, but the reason why i think it falls iflat in later seasons is, because what WORKED about that initial episode was the dalek, at its bare essentials?? and that is, its a product of war, it’s something hellbent on killigng and only killing anything that isnt a dalek , and it wont fucking stop!!
and to stop deviating from the point: what i felt was lacking about the cybermen, was just that. their wasted potential!!! because the SCARIEST thing about them isnt the fact theyre big shooty robot men with guns, it’s what they are, and what they’re a product of. theyre PEOPLE. theyre the product of PEOPLE. they are unchecked, rampant technological advancement; they are conformity, and erasure of identity; they are people, who don’t feel and don’t care, about anything. like bitch!! what the fuck. that’s what you should have tapped into YEARS ago!! and whilst there were always elements on that, they never truly lingered, or it wasnt shown to the true depth it was world enough??
when i first found out they were using the mondasian cybermen, despite what i just said about them overcompensating with shininess i was kind of worried on account of them being literal 50 yar old designs that consisted of cloth, and shiny fabric, aand a big metal backpac strapped to their frnt bt BY GOD. BY GFFFUCKING GOD!!!!!!! they utilised them perfectly- they amde them absolutely terrifying which just says so MUCH. becase rather than emphasising how inhuman they were, the emphasis was the dwindling humanity and how it was being slowly, but wllingly corrupted. full faces of metal are so dead, its hard to fathom who that could have been, but stretched cloth and th way it ooks like a person is actually inside is horrible, and the way it mimicks the hospital bandages from the mutilation... the way they look clumsy, and ugly with the fleshy-coloured hands that are distinctly people-like, but warped....
and the fact that its all willing? and an upgrade? that scene in the hospital, when the person can only repeatedly say the word PAIN PAIN PAIN over and over again and the others beg “KILL ME. KILL ME. KILL ME” and then the nurse comes in, and rather than actually helps them just turns down the volume knob, because this, in their opinion, is whats best. people are dying, and this the better alternative- the constant pain, the loss of humaniy, all of it and... BITCH. thats how you do the CYBERMEN!!! that’s how you show them WELL!!! HEYRE CREEPY AS SHIT !! THEYRE FUCKING FUCKED UP, DUDE!!!
AND OKY. OKAY GOD. OLKAY . I WENT ON A BIG LONG TANGENT ABOUT HOW MUH I LOVED THAT CYBERMAN DEPICTION BUT OKA.Y THE MORE IMPORTANT. THE OST IMPORTANTLY.
B I L L
right off the bat ppl accuse bill of doing the “love at first sight AND IVE LITERALLY... just got to ask where? when... where... what HAPPENED for ppl to accuse it of that, bc they werent in love and nobody. ever sai they were ever in love to begin with. in the episode themselves, they said it was a crush; bill just saw a pretty girl, and tried to tag along with her and hit her up bc yah!! she was cute!! and INTERESTING. and also clearly sth was up ith her, given the whole puddle thing and it isnt... THAT weird for her to come along. the whole “promise” thing was flirting-cute, lighthearted flirting- and never like... some grand love declaration. it was just lesbians, being sweet.
and then when... heather became the pilot, and followed bill around. clearly it wasnt bc she was deeply in love with her and they never even say that during the show. it was just on the basis of the PROMISE that she made, and nothing more - and it isnt that weird, that when heather became the pilot, wires got fuckn crossed. aliens & everything misinterpret that shit, and take it p 10 pegs all the fuckn time!! she NEVER LIKE. WAS LIKE. trying to sweep her off her feet and elope with ehr newfund beautiful wife... THAT SHIT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN MAD SCRAMBLED, and i wouldnt be surprised that that whole Pilot thing would have some. sense of obligation instilled in it too not leave given bill was designated passenger. the whole thing was quite obviously, like... operating on the nature of the alien spaceship, and not bc the y were instantly in love and hounding one another!! what the uck!!
and so of course, like... bill also “cried” (read: was sad) when heather was gone bc no she wasnt mourning her long lost girlfriend she was moURNING. A LITERAL PERSON WHO, YES, SHE UST MET BUT WAS LIKE. LITERALLY JUST... LOST. like heather is no longer a person and maybe she isnt dead but. she isnt human any more and whilst its osmethig she sfine with its still something SAD to see happen.... ppl GET sad when they see sad things.
and maybe, personally, what i WOULD have done from hat point onwards was have heather perhaps appear in places-never interacting, and maybe never bein seen by bill, but in little teasers similar to how bad wolf was dropped in s1, and rose appeared in s4 (however far less dramatic). that would have, like, made it feel more..... hm, im not sure of the word, but more WEIIGHTED when she did reappear to save bill int he finale??
BUT EVEN THEN, LIKE: I THINK ITS QUITE FINE THE WAY IT IS, GIVEN THE TEASE WITH BILL’S TEARS, AND THE FACT IT WAS ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT IT COULD HAPPEN AND HEATHER’S FATE WAS LEFT OPEN ENDED IN EPI 1. SO I DONT HTINK IT CAME COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE LIKE SOME PPL SUGGEST AT ALL.
AND ALSO, it still wasnt.... LOVE. i really ont think so!!! LIKE I DONT THINK THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AT THAT POINT. like, sure- feel an attraction to one nother, sure. but thy dont say its love or anything that brought her back. what simply happened was... heathe just saved bill???????? and that doesnt have t be... LIKE PPL DONT HAVE TO SAVE OTHERS OUT OF LOVE-LOVE, JUST FUCKN. BC ITS GOOD,A ND ITS DECENT AND ALSO IF YOU CAN SAVE A CUTE GIRL, WHY WOULDNT YOU? had she not brought bill along with her, bill would have died there in that suit and would be gone and offering her this different way ofliving... WELL ITS NICE, AND ITS JUST SUCH A PLUS THAT ITS WITH A VERY ADORABLE GIRL SHE WAS INTERESTED IN, AND CANN FALL IN TRUE AND DEEPLOV WITH AS YOU BOTH. LITERALLY TRAVEL THE GALAXY
SO NO. id ont think it was love that came out of nowhere or was fuckn shoehorned in bc i dont think there was love at all. on the other hand, danny pink andclara? YAH, i wouldcall THAT forced- way too deep feelings, for how long theyd known each other. martha, falling so hard for the doctor? YAH, THAT’SFORCED, just to fuckn. shovel the whole reboundplot on her (wrongfully so, the GREATEST injustice of fucking new who tbh). but heather, reappearing to ssave bill from justbeing lost and dying entirely?? NNOT.... AT ALL I DONT . SEE IT. ITS JUST OT IT.
and speaking of: i also dont think its AT ALL eequivalent to claras “end” which was an absolute cop out. not this.
first of all, clara’s actual death when the raven took her was a perfect end to her. honestly, there had already been multipleoccaisions when she should have just. left long, long fucking ago but given s9s arc that was a good way for her to go and a nice way to close up and i think. an actual death was definitely deserved at tht point given howLONG its been since someone of note... actually fucking died, and died-died(like... when did that evr even happen th) to bring some, UHHH, CONSEQUENCE INTO THE SHOW and then.... AFTER THAT, THERE WAS LITERALLY. THE GODSEND EPISODE HAT IS HEAVEN SENT, THAT WAS A BEAUTFUL AND POIGNANT PROCESSING OF GRIEF, AND THEN-
thats... all just undone??//IN A WAY THAT, LIKE... LITERALLY MADE NO SENSE, WASTED THE WONDERFUL AND EPIC POTENTIAL A GALLIFRYEY PLOT COULD HAVE BROUGHT (gallifrey.... has literally been gone since the beginning of new who and its role to play oculd have eventually been so fucking MOMENTOUS if theeyd done right by it but they idnt they made a mess of it but IM NOT HERE TO FUCKN SCREAM ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW) AND JUST ALL OF IT. HHHHH. THEY INTRODUCED... UST... STEPPING INT TIME AND BRINGING A CHARACTER OUT ?? OF THE MOMENT OF THEIR DEATH AND SHE JUST NOW SHES JUST. ALIVE AS SHE IS WITH LITERALLY NO CONSEQUENCE BC EVEN THE DOCTOR. FORGETTING HER WAS UNDON WHICH IS SUCH. BS HORSESHIT BC TBH. NOT TO BE RUDE BUT I DIDNT EVER WANNA SEE HER FACE AGAIN. BUT NO THEY JUST. they litrally just let her die , gave it so much meaning, and then hit undo in an OOC move and now shes fucking. imortal and like. uh huh. UH HUH.
wheras nbill... they didnt giv us that, for once, and we literally just see her keel over for a fuckn second or something when heather appears and we dont see her dead,. like, we werent given the promise o death, to have ti snatched away if that makes anyy sense... we werent, like, told “oh shes dead” fr them to be like PSYCHE! in the way... they literally put so much into the griefof clara but th. NEVERMIND huh but MORE IMPPORTANTLY-
herstatus of like. being alive... is VERY DEBATABLE???
I KNOW IN A FUCKN. COMIC OR WHATEVER THERES MORE STUFF ON THAT BUT dude who taks thaat shit as canon BUT OKAY. LISTNE. LIKE.... SHES LIKE HEATHER. LITERALLY. SHES LIKE EHATHER.
theres still consequence: and though they said “does that feel dead to you” and no, she isn’t dead shes certainly not... alive. like we saw.... heather from OUR perspective in epi 1. she ust stares at ppl and cant communicate or interactwith ppl properly and isnt rlly physical. from this, i really think... that what we see of bill and heather in the final is really. a representation of their actual states more than anything and LIKE. THEM BEING CONSCIOUS, AND ABLE TO TRAEL IS WONDERFUL AND IT ISNT. DEATH NO BUT . they cant... presumably ver properly interact again and. they dont have physical forms at all and theyve become... something more akin to spirits, really, which isnt DEATH no but it isnt... ITS A DIFFERENT WAY OF LIVING, AS THEY SAID AND I DONT KNOW. I DONT THINK... ITS FANTASTIC. NOT AT ALL. I STILL CONSIDER IT A CONSEQUENCE, TBH, AND.
im ranvjasp f I CANT finish this its 7am just. listne. LISTEN
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