My thoughts on Christmas Special.

I was so excited, i was reaally looking forward for it and i was ready to love it but... it just wasnt it! I tried to love it, its the last ever episode of one of my favourite series, but i came out of it very dissatisfied

I like sad endings, i love angst and heartbreak and tragic deaths, and i also love happy endings, what i really dislike is a dissatisfing ending. At the end i felt cheated! I was ready for anything (ghost being sucked off or even alison/mike dying) for as long as it made sense in the episode and it was genuine. I wasnt sad, i was baffled!

First, this felt so disconnected from 5x6! It was such a jump from "family, family, family" and acceptance that they are indeed family, to "oh no, we bother you, you need to be your own REAL family". It needed a whole season to lead to that, ten minutes is not enough, i just dont believe it!

It was established that alison cant live anywhere without seeing ghosts. She will just trade the ones closest to her for a new bunch. It was season one. If she needed some space then they could make some ground rules like ghosts get one wing of the house, living people another and they spend time together.

And speaking of ghosts, all development went through the window! Especially my Kitty, she grew so much, she was ready to be a big sister. We saw her being jealous in season three, she wouldn't be like that. It felt so off, like we saw almost everyone revert coupe years ago. Ghosts grew in that time i just dont think they could be that unbearable, we saw them become better! Alison is not there doing everything for them every minute, she has a backbone, she established boundaries before. They did manage to cohabitate peacefully. And on that note, i felt like alison was changed too much. I get it, motherhood, exhausting, but she was too nice! I would be furious if i saw a priest performing exhorcism behing my back, in my house, maybe killing all my family. Yes, it was made with good intentions, but it was made in secret, no trust there

Also, i liked betty, but in the last ever epusode we barely saw the ghosts. We saw them so little. I just wanted to see them being silly and genuine one last time!

The pacing was way off as everyone saw. I think the biggest problem i have is that tge crew wanted it to be a final episode. They wanted to say goodbye, so they made them separate. To move on themselves, they were too wrapped up the characters. But do we as an audience need to move on so bad? Its a fun and heartfelt show about dead people living on, i dont need great realism, i dont want last great lesson about living your life, i want my Christmas special to be a good episode with lots of heart, not some metaphor for moving on.

Yes, families do move out and stay in contact, but its not the same. And its not like they could call and chat or visit regularly.

Im rambling but all in all, i felt cheated. I really believe that the episode was made more for theythem than for us, they wanted a goodbye and a real sense of finalty. But as an audience maybe we didnt need one, why cant we have a happy feeling knowing our favourite family stayed rogether and just have a final shot of them in button house opening presents and being happy. What is so bad in happy open ending?

do i need some ibuprofen or an exhorcism

Regarding Spiritual Homes

It’s a common misconception that all hidden scholars wander--that all gnosi periodically empty, hermit crab-like, to be resettled by new generations of writers. I’m sure some gnos is weird enough for that, but most aren’t. No, generally only Lamps and Compasses wander the infinite weirdness below. Scholars of the Ink, the Spine, and the Stack stay put.

For those of us who are charged with our years of travel and stack-hunting, the home gnos contains a kind of permanent psychological threat: the knowledge that, at a fixed time, we must leave. Before that point, we spend years at home, studying, learning the myriad ways the Engine can kill you, the handful of ways to avoid the Engine killing you, and as much local archeography as we can. Lamps generally spend eight years in the home gnos; Compasses (charged with the mad task of mapping the Lacuna) get twelve. 

Most of us divide those years between a home on the surface and our gnos (always located in Lacuna’s shallows). We have our daily routines: a walk to the store in the morning, study in the afternoon, mead and darts at the pub in the evening. We work toward our goals: acquiring certifications, building our eventual travel kit, writing articles to be dumped into the infinite maw of the Archive Layer, planning dinners. But something stalks that comforting banality.

Knowing you will leave.

One’s years at home present a constant double-image: the comfort and familiarity of your surroundings layered over with the knowledge that one’s life has been constructed around you leaving those surroundings.

Spectral coronas surround your loved ones. The omnipresent sense of impending loss (though that loss may be years distant) casts even momentary interactions with the sucking awareness of your future. Every glance is at a doomed thing, doomed not to die but to suffer your absence, to continue existing in this place while you exist in another. It’s the frustration of having lost something small and important--knowing that it’s here somewhere, and the only barrier between you and it is knowing where it is--but layered over your vision like a screen. Everything is already-someday-lost, and your experience of it now can only be the ghost of a future absence, a spectral thing clad in infirm reality.

This sensation isn’t unique to wandering scholars, I suppose. It’s mostly awareness of mortality. But there’s something about our institutionally mandatory departure that sets around one’s daily thinking like a slow-setting concrete. It isn’t just in your head; it’s in the air, the conversations.

You’re leaving someday, and you’ll never return. And if you return, it won’t be “you” anymore. It’ll be something else in a you-suit.

And eventually you leave! The double-vision slowly becomes single, now that you’re experiencing home only in memory. The prophecy has caught up with you, and thus, you’re free of it. The places you walk are strange, dark, sometimes wondrous, but they are new, unattached, un-haunted (well, mostly). Home becomes simply a thing within you, departed but maintained, growing fuzzier at the edges and less detailed over time, smoothed like a riverstone by your mental returns. The impossibility of return shifts into a kind of blessing; domestic heimlich can never be un-heimlich’d by a physical return. You can’t go home again--and good thing too!

You have exhorcized ghost haunting your present, leaving only the present. You have left home.

                                           ↪ ​ @exhorcisms

                       ❝ see, mob? i told you that sweater looks good on you! every                 girl downtown is gonna fall in love with you! ❞ teru brought mob a                 flashy sweater... it was pretty tacky.. but teru liked it and thought                 it would be GREAT on mob! teru was such a good friend.

exhorcisms:

TERU 4 PRESIDENT 2016

I’M MAKING HIM A SIDE BLOG OK

explosion noise