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#even though when i told them about my insomnia they said i should try valerian
suuho · 5 months
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i can count the days i’ve been physically well in the past 6 months on one hand, and it literally maxes out at 1.5
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huffletiika · 7 years
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Back to you
Lutteo | kinda canon Best Friend’s Wedding AU
Ok, here is the second chapter... this is 5.8k words, so be warned (I should stop writing this bibles, seiously) Other warning: there is some mature content here. Thanks to @deliverychicafresa for giving me her opinion on said scene. What else can I say? I hope you like it, just that.
Also, tried to proofread it and gave up.
CHAPTER 2 [other chapters]
There was one thing Matteo was sure about: even if he stayed the whole afternoon in his bed trying to fall asleep he won’t be able to do so. He tried for several minutes, used all the methods he knew for it, even counting sheep, but his mind was too busy thinking about Luna to allow his body receive it’s well deserved rest. At the end, he just decided that the best he could do was call room service and ask for tea, he has been told chamomile or valerian are good to solve insomnia, but as he called and didn’t get any answer, he decided to go by himself to the cafeteria, so he put on his shoes and a jacket, and then left his room.
He knew there would be a big range of probability of crossing paths with Luna, they were at the same hotel after all, and it has been stated that their destiny was to bump into each other every time they are close enough for that to happen. Nevertheless, the last thing he was expecting to find when the elevator doors opened was her, so when he saw her standing right in front of him, he froze.
She was gorgeous, that’s the first thought that came to his mind, despite of the mess it was in that particular moment. Her hair was lighter than the last time he saw her, but it was still curly and long, falling like a waterfall over her shoulders. She was still very short, even wearing high heels, something of which he used mock about when they were younger. Her skin was looking bright, and it seemed so soft, he had to resist the urge of raising his hand a caressing her cheek; and her lips, oh God! They looked so pink and full, his mind brought back memories from when he kissed them, making him wish to be able to do it again. But it was her eyes the thing that trapped him the most. The light in her pupils, and the green tone surrounding them, made him feel hypnotized, as if there was nothing else around them.
“Matteo,” she whispered with her beautiful voice, and he felt like a thousand fireworks exploding in his chest, while coming back from his entanglement state. He thought he would never hear his name coming out from her lips ever again.
“Luna,” he replied. He had said her name to himself and to others several times during all these years, but nothing compares to being able to say it in front of her, mostly because of the soft pink that covered her cheeks as he spoke. “It’s been a long time.” He didn’t know what else to say.
“Yeah, a very long time...” She walked out from the elevator, and he turned around, following her with his sight. Oh God, this was awkward. They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, during which she kept looking at the floor, and he hated that, because he wanted to get lost again in her eyes. “I thought– I mean, are you okay? Gastón told us that you were having some sleep, he said that you haven’t rest for a couple of days.” She broke the silence.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answered, after sighing. “I’m just tired, but I can’t asleep.” This seemed to call her attention, because she looked up at him with sincere concern. Her face has always been an open book for him, and so he was glad it hasn’t changed.
“Is there something concerning you?” she asked, and he looked right into her eyes.
«Yeah, you» were the words that came to his mind, but they didn’t went out from his mouth. Instead, he just shrugged and rubbed his nape, as saying he had no idea what it could be.
“Maybe it’s just work,” she suggested, and he thought it was a safe path to follow, so he nodded.
“I guess you’re right, it might be that,” he looked at her with a soft smile. “There are so many artists and bands that have signed with Deimos that it has been hard to balance my work at the company with my own career.” That, indeed, was true.
His latest two days are just a sample of that, and he still had to check the contracts from the new acts that signed with Deimos, and approve the balance that the accountant sent him, before leaving on Tuesday to Europe, where he still had dates of his tour and press conferences. His agenda was filled with appointments, interviews and shows, and the only reason why he was there for the wedding was the fact he had made very clear he would not accept any activity during that weekend. It was his best friend wedding with his soulmate, after all. And even though, he was sure he would have to spend some time working in his laptop in between the dinner, the ceremony and the party.
It seemed like she wanted to say something, but she didn’t dare to do it, and instead bit her lower lip and looked down. “Shout,” he asked her, because he needed to know what was in her mind, more than anything, to be honest.
“I was just wondering…” she looked back at his eyes. “I mean, it came to my mind if you are happy doing all this, if you really enjoy going from one place to another nonstop, and being so busy you can’t even properly enjoy your best friend’s wedding.”
He tensed.
“I am,” he defensively said, “this has always be my dream,” he added, but deep inside his mind a small voice asked him if he was so sure about that. He decided to ignore it. He had the life he always wanted for himself: he has fame, his records get to the top of the selling lists in no time, and his concerts are always sold out. And then, there was Deimos, his label.
When years ago his father suggested him to study administration so he could create his own business the idea sounded very good, he could impulse his own career, and help others to achieve their dreams as well. Then, he started to learn more and more about the industry, and Deimos started to become in something more, something that made him feel passionate, not only because it was his way to reach his own dream, but because it made him full. But he was tired, she wasn’t the first person to mention it, he even had got to admit it to himself a couple of times, but he just didn’t know if he could do something to balance both things, so he decided to change the topic.
“How about you?” he asked. “I heard you bought the Jam & Roller.” The smile in her face told him how right he had been in bringing the topic to the conversation.
“Yeah, I did.” She nervously touched her moon and sun necklace. “After the Red Sharks disaster Vidia decided they no longer wanted a skating rink, and I didn’t want the place I love to become in something else, or being completely demolished to build an office building, so I talked with my grandpa, and he agreed with me in the fact it could be a good investment for the Benson’s company, so I bought it.” She shrugged.
“And you became the trainer of the team, am I right?” He asked, and she nodded with a bright smile. He got really proud when he heard about that, he knew how happy she would be, her passion for skating was one of the thing he loved the most about her. “Those kids are lucky,” he added, getting lost In the light of her eyes.
“Why would they?” she asked.
“Because they have the most talented coach ever, that’s why. I would do anything to go back there and see you skate… or skate with you,” he replied, and she blushed.
And then again, they became silent.
He looked at her without knowing what to say or do next, maybe he had let himself go too much, maybe he made her uncomfortable, and as much as he loves to see her getting embarrassed by his comments, he knew teasing her wasn’t the best he could do when he is walking over thin ice. Again, she was the one who broke the silence.
“Why?” her question confused him.
“Why what?” he asked, wishing he could read her thoughts.
“Why did you stop going there? To the Jam & Roller, I mean,” she said. “I know you said it was because you didn't have time, that you had too many things in your mind as you were studying two majors, but I can understand you leaving the team because of that, not to stop going to a place that was so important to you, and so I was wondering if… if there was another reason.”
He sighed, without knowing how to answer her question. How could he explain her how he felt when, after the competition in Cancun, he went to the beach looking for her, determined to tell her what he felt, and to explain her how sorry he was for all the stupid things he did that teared them apart, just to find her hugging Simon? Now he knows how wrong he was for thinking there was something more between them, mostly because his own insecurities drove him to jump into stupid conclusions, and even more stupid actions. But at the time, he just thought the worst, and left the beach with a broken heart. How could he tell her how hard it had become to see her every day, to hear her voice, to skate with her, when he knew he didn’t deserve her, that there was no way to get her back after all the mistakes he had done? After a while, he just couldn’t stand it anymore, and so he just stopped going, using how busy he was as an excuse. It was only after a few years that he got to talk with Nina, and then with Simon (he still doesn’t understand why the guy was snice with him that day), and knew how wrong he had been. But again, it was late, and he didn’t want to provoke tension between her and her friends, so he asked them not to speak on his behalf.
That, of course, didn’t stop Gastón and Nina from trying to make them meet every time he was in Buenos Aires, but when she excused herself from going for the third time he understood the message loud and clear: she didn’t want to see him. And so, he lost any hope, and decided to continue with his own life.
But she wanted explanations in that moment, and he was tired of keeping all that for himself, so he just looked right straight to her eyes, and took a step closer to her.
“Do you really want to know it?” he asked first, because he needed to know that she wanted to hear everything he had to tell her.
She swallowed, looking back at his eyes.
“I do,” she answered, and they were so close he could feel her breath brushing his face. “I want you to tell me the truth.”
He took a deep breath, he was shaking, and that was something that didn’t happen to him regularity, not even before going to a stage to sing in from of thousands of people. In that exact moment it felt like if time had frozen, she was there looking at him after so long, and he was there trying to hold himself from taking her face in his hands and kiss her. He couldn’t do that, not yet, he needed to tell her everything, he needed to say how sorry he was about everything, and he needed her to forgive him before allowing himself to taste her lips again.
“It was you, you were the reason wh–” his words got interrupted when her phone rang, and just as if both of them had woken up from some kind of trance, they flinched. She took her phone out and looked at the screen, taking a step back, putting some distance between them.
“It’s Nina, I… I was in my way to her room,” she told him. “She is waiting for me with Jim and Yam, and I shouldn’t make them wait for me any longer.” She explained, and he nodded.
“Yeah, and I was going to look for something that could help me to sleep,” he said, seeming to be disappointed. “So, I guess we could talk later.” He looked at her, waiting for her response, and she just nodded. He took a deep breath. “See you at the dinner?” he asked, while calling back the elevator.
“See you at the dinner,” she responded, before walking to her friend’s room.
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on, Luna?” Jim’s voice took her out from her thoughts, making her jump, and look at her three friends with confusion.
She has been in the moon (more than usual, it that was possible) all the time she had been in the room, almost acting like a zombie, answering to her friends only with monosyllables, and doing everything mechanically. But she just couldn’t take out of her mind the fact that she saw Matteo, and their conversation, because she was sure she was ready to hear whatever reason he had to stop going to the roller, but hearing that she was that reason made her feel terrible. Was he so mad at her that he just stopped doing something he loved, as going to the roller, just so he wouldn’t have to see her again? She knew he was mad at her at the time, but she didn’t know it had been that much to stop going to the Roller.
“What do you mean?” she asked to her friend, pretending everything was fine.
“You are kind of off this afternoon” it was Yam the one who talked this time, one of her twin daughters was on her lap, playing with the blond curl that she got to reach, as the other one was sleeping in Nina’s bed.
Ramiro had offered to take care of them while Yam was in Nina’s room helping her to get ready for the dinner, as they had sent the girl who traveled with them to take care of the twins to buy some things they had forgotten in the town, but Yam told him to go to the bar and enjoy with his ex-classmates and the rest of the guys, as she was sure the girls wouldn’t matter her taking the little girls with her. And she was right, they loved the little twins, they were overly adorable.
“Very off, indeed.” Jim corrected her best friend.
“The girls are right, It’s like you saw a ghost or…” Nina interrupted herself and, surprised, she put her hand over her mouth. “You saw him! Oh my God, you saw Matteo.” It wasn’t even a question, and Luna didn’t have a way to contradict her, so she nodded.
“I didn’t only see him, I talked with him,” she answered, and the only reason why Jim and Yam didn’t scream was not to wake the sleeping baby. That didn’t stop them from jumping in their places, though. Luna sighed. “But it was a disaster, so stop fangirling,” she added, with a grimace.
The three girls looked at her with concern.
“What happened?” Nina asked, taking her hand.
Luna sighed.
“It was going fine, we were talking about our lives, work… those kind of things, you know? But then I was stupid and asked him why he stopped going to the Jam & Roller years ago, and I don’t know what I was expecting him to say, but then he told me that it was because of me, and–” she sobbed. “Did he hate me that much to do that?” Jim handed her napkin, looking at her with concern. She felt stupid for crying when it had happened long ago, but it hurt like a re-opened wound.
“He only told you that? That it had been because of you?” Nina asked. “Without any further explanation?” Luna bit her lip, and nodded.
“In that moment your message came, and I… I used it as an excuse to run away,” she explained. “But, what did you want me to do? I couldn’t stay there and listen to him saying how much he hated me, how he stopped doing what he liked just so he wouldn’t see my face again.” That would have destroyed her.
“I agree, what an idiot.” Jim said, and Nina sighed.
“You should have heard the whole story before jumping into conclusions,” she looked at her best friend, raising her eyebrows, and Luna frowned at her.
“You know something,” she accused her.
“No, I don’t,” Nina was looking suspiciously nervous, so Luna didn’t believe her for a second.
“Yes, you do,” She crossed her arms. “You know the whole truth, don’t you? Spill it!” Was her best friend hiding something from her? For how long? She better had a very good excuse for this, because if Nina knew it all and didn’t tell her, there would be problems.
With a sigh, Nina gave up.
“I know what happened,” she admitted. “Remember when I went to finish my major in Oxford and went to live with Gaston? Well, Matteo went there to visit when he was doing some promo in the UK, and stayed in our flat. And I couldn’t stop myself from asking him what had happened. I was really mad at him that I didn’t want him to stay with us, you know? But he was my boyfriend’s best friend, and Gastón convinced me that I had to give him an opportunity to explain himself.” She shrugged. “The thing is he told me the truth, but he made me promise I wouldn’t tell you because it was on him doing so, and I’m sorry, but I agree: he is the one who has to tell you.” She bit her lip. “But is not what you think, that I can tell you.” She added, finishing her makeup.
“You mean… he didn’t do it because he hate me? Or hated, anyway.” Luna asked, that’s the only thing she needed to know.
“If there’s one thing I’m one hundred percent sure, Luna, is that Matteo Balsano could never hate you.” Nina replied, and then there was a chorus of «awws» starring Jim and Yam, followed by the cry of a waking baby.
The dinner was, as expected, really nice. Matteo enjoyed it a lot, even if his sleep deprivation was giving him a hard time, making him feel as if his eyelids weighted several tons. Talking with his old friends had been very enjoyable, and knowing about their lives was a surprising delight, as he didn’t have much time to be updated with social media. For example, he had no idea that Delfi was expecting her first child with Pedro, even if the couple had made a big announcement in the Fab & Chick, which she still owned. Much less he knew that Jim had become in a very well-known choreographer, or that Ambar and Simon were re-igniting the flame of love. He knew that the couple had seen each other from time to time, but not that they were really trying it, despite the distance and their jobs.
And Luna… Oh God, she was looking so radiating during the dinner. When she went to sit next to him at the table she managed to leave him speechless, even though he spent the whole time since she left him in the hallway thinking about what to say when he could see her again, and had the perfect words prepared in the tip of his tongue. Tt’s worth saying that he hasn’t slept yet.
That dress accentuated the curves of her body so perfectly that it should be illegal. Seriously, he had to drink the whole glass of water that was placed in the table in front of him all at once, and even then, he still felt thirsty. She was very surprised because of the seats arrangement, but he managed to act like he had no idea about it, as internally he was thanking his best friend for having such a great idea, and making a mental note to give him a good present for his new place with Nina, as the couple have decided they needed a little bit more of space. However, it wasn’t much that he could talk to Luna being at the table, as most of their friends were around, taking turns to interrupt them. He really wanted to finish that conversation they were having in the afternoon next to the elevator, he didn’t want there to be a misunderstanding, something he knew that could happen if he didn’t tell her the whole story of why he had avoided her.
He tried asking her to go somewhere else so they could talk alone, and she even accepted, but then the speeches started and they couldn’t leave the place. Then, when the speeches finished, he tried again, but Jim and Yam came and took her away from his side. Something about her maid of honor duties, he got to catch from the conversation, as he mentally hit the table with his fist… or his head, preferably. He didn’t see her for the rest of the dinner, so as it finished he felt disappointed, and wished he could at least just go to his room and finally get some sleep, but he wouldn’t even have that granted either.
They didn’t get to do a proper stag party for Gaston, mostly because of the difficulties of coordinating all of their agendas, so the guys from the Jam & Roller decided to go for a couple of drinks in the bar of the hotel. He included. Matteo heard the stories his friends were telling while he absently looked at his drink, not because he wasn’t interested in the things they were saying, he really was, but tiredness and certain girl didn’t allow him to pay attention.
“And, as you can see, our dear astronaut has left us for his new mission to the moon,” Gaston’s voice, and the laughter of the guys, made him abandon his thoughts and look back at them.
“What?” he asked with confusion, causing even more laughter.
“Oh my God! You really were at the moon, didn’t you?” his best friend patted his shoulder, and he rolled his eyes.
“No, I wasn’t.” He replied. The least he wanted to do that night was to discuss his failed attempts to talk with Luna, much less with all the guys there, Simon included. Even if all rivalry with the guy was long gone, he didn’t feel very comfortable talking about Luna with said girl’s best friend, or with anyone… to be honest. “I’m just tired.” Half the truth would work.
“I thought you slept in the afternoon,” his best friend seemed worried. “Go to sleep, Matteo. You don’t have to stay here with us, we still have tomorrow.” He looked back at his friend, a grin growing on his lips.    
“Tomorrow you will be a married man, bro,” he replied, as if it was the most logical argument for him to stay in that improvised stag party. In his mind, it was.
“And this married man will need his best man to be able to stay awake as he stands beside him in the altar, so I’d rather see you going to your room right now.” Gaston crossed his arms, he wasn’t going to accept anything but his surrender. He sighed.
“At least, let me finish my drink,” he said, showing him his cup. “Meanwhile, you can continue to interrogate Simon about his trip with the blondie. As I heard, he hasn’t tell us their destination.” He toasted in his direction.
“And I won’t,” Simon replied.
“Oh, come on… spill it!” Ramiro intervened.
“He hasn’t even tell Nico and me, and we are his bandmates,” Pedro talked. “What makes you think he's going to tell you?” he made a grimace, before taking a sip of his drink.
“That tomorrow is my wedding, and that some gossip could be a really nice wedding present,” Gastón replied, making everybody laugh.
“In that case, I would want the very expensive present that I already gave you back,” Simon raised his eyebrows. “However, I don’t think your future wife would agree.”
Gaston swore, and Matteo had to recognize that the guitarist had done an amazing job defeating his best friend, achieving something that he thought was almost impossible. He stayed with them for a while, but when he finished his drink he didn’t have any other excuse to stay longer, so he just left the guys in the bar and headed towards his room.
He saw her as soon as he left the elevator and started to walk towards his room. She was in the hallway, leaning against the wall next to the door of his room, still wearing that wonderful dress she had at the dinner, but this time her hair was falling in waves over her shoulders, instead of the styled bun she had before. To be honest, he preferred it this way.
“Are you waiting for me, Chica Delivery?” he teased, as he reached his room’s door.
“You told me you wanted to talk, Chico Fresa,” she replied, taking her back off the wall. He couldn’t help but smile at that moment, he thought he would never hear her calling him like that ever again, and doing it made him feel like time hasn’t passed by.
“How long have you been here?” if he knew that she was waiting for him in his room, he would have listened to his friend, and had gone there earlier.
“Not much,” she answered. “I was in Nina’s room, we were talking about– you know, the kind of things you talk with your best friend the night before of her wedding,” she bit her lower lip. “And well, Gaston sent her a message about you coming up to your room, and Nina convinced me to come and finish our conversation.” She nervously interlaced her own fingers. “Unless, you know, you are too tired. In that case we can talk tomorrow… I guess.” Matteo was asking himself if he was imagining all this.
“So, are you telling me our best friends conspired together to bring us together?” he laughed. “That’s totally something they would do, yeah.” He can imagine Gaston and Nina spending hours trying to elaborate a plan so Lutteo could rise again. His best friend always called himself the captain of the ship, and fought anyone who ever dared to steal his place.
Luna laughed as well.
“Well, she suggested me to come, but I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t really want to,” she smiled at him, and it felt like if a warm wave ran over his chest. “I really want to know the truth.” He wanted to touch her in that exact moment, he needed to feel the softness of her skin in his fingertips, and hold her in his arms. But he restrained himself, and instead he took the key of his room from the pocket of his suit.
“Then, we should go inside… I mean, I don’t think we should talk about this in the middle of hallway,” he suggested, and she seemed to hesitate, but a couple of seconds later she nodded and followed him inside the bedroom. “Feel comfortable if you want to sit, or something.” He added, as he closed the door behind him.
“It’s okay, I’d rather stand.” She hugged herself and looked around the room, as he thanked all the gods for the fact that it was tidy. “Now, explain me how I made you stop going to the Jam & Roller, because I have never been more confused in my life.” He let a soft laugh come out from his lips, as he sat in the border of the bed, without looking away from her.
And then he told her everything, he didn’t keep any thought or detail for himself, as he needed her to understand that kid he once was, and the reason to everything he did. He was no saint, he knew that, he was also aware that he wasn’t one at present and, to be honest, that he would never be one. He made a lot of mistakes, took decisions that weren’t the best, let his insecurities lead him to say and do things that he would later regret, and as he had grown to accept that, he had also grown to accept that he was still far from being perfect, and from taking the best decision. He looked down as he told her about Cancun, about how he saw her hugging Simon, and the thoughts that came to his mind in that moment. Embarrassment wouldn’t let him see her straight to the eyes while telling her those things. He explained her how hard it was to see her every day, knowing that he had lost his chance, and how those feelings made him avoid going to the Roller.  
When he finished talking he looked up at her, she was standing in the same place, as she covered her mouth with one of her hands. “I’m really sorry, Luna. I–“. His words were interrupted as she walked towards him and, taking his face with her hands, pressed her lips against his.
It took him a couple of seconds to realize that he wasn’t daydreaming because of sleep deprivation, that she was actually kissing him, so he kissed her back, taking her by her hips and making her sit on his lap. And then she moaned against his lips, sinking her fingers in his hair, as he slid his hands up to her back and deepened the kiss.
Words were not required in that moment, they longed for this for so long that they just let their feelings lead them, and take control of their actions. He spent years dreaming about kissing Luna Valente again, but now that he was finally doing it, a kiss was just not enough, he needed more, much more. He needed her, all of her, he needed to get lost in every inch of her body, and to feel her in every fiber of himself. And she seemed to read his mind, because her hands went to his shoulders, and slid the jacket of his tailored suit off them. He helped her to get rid of it, letting it fall somewhere in the floor, and then took his hands to her face, keeping her closer, as he explored the depths behind her lips.
“Matteo, I need…” she whispered, her breath filling all his senses.
“I know,” he replied, without hesitation, knowing exactly what she meant. “Me too.” He added, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, putting their foreheads together. The need to touch, be touched, to take and give, overwhelmed him.
Tiredness had long been forgotten.
She pulled him by his tie and their lips met again, passionately, as if they had waited for longer than a minute to meet again. He slid his hands to her back again and slowly unzipped her dress, and she instinctively put herself closer to him, making their chests collide. His lips abandoned hers and ran the curve of her neck, sucking, biting, and leaving marks that later would need a lot of concealer to be covered. And she moved her head aside to give him better access to her skin, while undoing his tie, and starting to unbutton his shirt with shaking hands, until she managed to run her fingertips across his torso.
Helped by him, her dress found its way to the floor, followed by his tie and his shirt, and later on the rest of their clothes. Breathing became an issue, as it seemed like none of them could catch enough of air into their lungs, their heavy breathing being the only sound that filled the room. They rolled over the bed more than once, as he did his best not to leave any inch of her skin untouched, and as she let herself go at the overdose of sensations that crowded into her.
“You are gorgeous,” he murmured, looking down at her, his chest filled with emotions. She was looking back at him, her skin blushing in front of his eyes, her lips swollen from kissing, and her hair spread out on the pillows and her face. He gently brushed some strands from her face, his gaze still locked with hers, and he leaned to kiss her again. “I love you, Luna. I always have.” He murmured against her lips, and he felt her whole body shaking as response.
“Matteo…” she managed to say in the middle of a groan, as her body arched in search for his contact, and he couldn’t stop himself anymore. How could he? She was there, her whole body asking him for more, just as his own body was doing. With a gasp, he sank deep into her, and she let out a loud moan in his ear, surrounding him with her legs and arms, digging her nails on his back.
Then, there was no room for any coherent thought, his mind went completely off from the rest of the world, and there was only room in his mind for her. Luna, her sweet lips as their crashed into his, her hands golfing onto his back, the increasing heat of her body against his, the softness of her skin as his hands ran over it, and her voice in his ear pledging for more and more. And that’s what he did, for her he would do anything… God damn, he was hers, that’s the thought that came to his mind the second after she tensed around him, and just before he let himself go.
Nothing he had ever done in his life compared to this moment.
– 
The next morning, as the daylight hits his face and wakes him up, the memories of the night before come back, and he stretches out his arm, reaching for her in the other side of the bed. But she isn’t there. Matteo lazily opens his eyes, and sat up on the bed looking for her across the room, but she is neither there, nor in the bathroom. Was it a dream? He asks to himself, was it all his imagination playing games with his sanity? That’s ridiculous, he thinks as he discards that thought. He still feels the warmth of her touch in his skin, and the sweetness of her scent in the sheets.
Confusion makes him frown, but as he puts the sheets aside, and seeks for his phone to look at the time, he convinces himself that she maybe had something to do, and didn’t want to wake him up.
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