if I had it my way emrys & astarion would never sleep together before the grave scene, or even. be romantic. there would just be an intricate ritual of astarion flirting, emrys ignoring it or treating it as a joke, developing feelings on both sides, she pretends the teasing doesn’t start to chafe and hurt her feelings because she knows it’s bullshit, he stops being as flippantly flirty as the feelings set in and freaks out about it, also gets a bit confused and maybe even sad because she didn’t even respond to him sexualizing himself so the FIRST PERSON he’s had genuine feelings for both doesn’t have the pressure of being into him for sex which, thats nice. but seems she isn’t even into him at all. and aside from all of this there’s the general comfort and security of being just friends so there’s that added “not wanting to ruin it” aspect. sincere discussions on their personhood that don’t have the pressures of a romantic relationship. fun times. and then rampant miscommunication on both sides culminating into a disastrous sort of “are you mocking me????? stop being an asshole” confrontation with emrys who is Fed Up with the joking. boom. romance. and then more sincere conversations on their personhood.