Hey bilv, it turns out I can't write plot no matter how many days I spend chewing on it, so I'll toss this in your ask box instead of writing you a speculative ficlet about it:

Who do you think would be more likely to get in trouble by the other seeing their incriminating text messages? We see enough of Crowley's texts to know it would be mortifying if Aziraphale ever saw them, but he might also be tech savvy enough to keep them from showing up on his lockscreen. Aziraphale doesn't have as many ongoing rants to hide, but we do know that he can read his Discord messages without unlocking his phone. Or are both our protagonists still equally ineffably idiotic as humans as they were as supernatural beings, and they'd both be screwed if they left their phone out to charge?

(Bonus question so I can picture the omake comic in my head: Would they flush fire red or freeze in shock if their texts were seen?)

ohhhh oh i love that your mind has gone here 😭 the temptation i had for aziraphale to see something on crowley’s phone in that last chapter 😭

crowley would go red as a tomato, start to dive over to snatch the phone out of aziraphale’s hand, but catch himself and snap back after 1 step. and he’d stand there leaning against the nearest surface in an over exaggeration of casualness so he doesn’t incriminate himself. then take the runners up trophy for improv acting, by denying and twisting whatever is on that screen, claiming it’s all part of the act or — OOH, he was just practising with anathema, in case things went south, or someone started questioning their setup. yeah. yeah that sounds good. he’ll never know.

aziraphale wouldn’t think so far ahead. he’d drop whatever he’s holding, expensive or liquid or otherwise, to try and snatch it off him. and crowley would put up a fight, but whether or not he actually gets the phone off him is irrelevant because that reaction totally wasn’t suspicious at aaaaaall aziraphale. cue an extremely heavy awkward silence as aziraphale pins his phone to his chest and crowley just stares at it.

but fffhh honestly, if either of them saw their phones, it would probably solve a lot more issues than it’d cause.