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bhadpodcast · 6 years

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DylanxDamon - So F%cked

“I let him fuck me last night.” He says, feigning simplicity but his nerves bely him. He’s not nervous about telling Damon, they’ve known what this was. He’s nervous about what it means.

“Yeah?” Damon has always been a better listener than talker. He knows what Dylan needs now is to open up, and all Damon wants to do is to help him try. He keeps his answers short, sweet and leading.

“Yeah.”

“How was it?”

“It was....” Damon can tell it was good. Great even, transcendent, the best he ever had, everything the boy has dreamed about and nothing he could ever take back. Dylan shakes his head, “I shouldn’t have let him fuck me.”

“Oh?” Damon asks, staring at Dylan as casually as he can muster. Dylan meets his eyes for a moment and Damon can see the storm raging behind them.

“I don’t wanna talk about it, let’s just-”

So they do.

The next day he wants to talk about it.

“When I let you fuck me-” It’s not an odd way to start, per se. It was true, he had let Damon fuck him, asked him to in fact. He said he’d messed around with a few of his high school friends, but never did the “full penetrashe” a phrase that both amused and mortified him. He hadn’t wanted Ty to be his first, he didn’t want to give him that much power, even though he battled with himself daily about what the hell that even really meant. It was a losing battle though, since it was never his choice in the first place. “I didn’t fall in love with you.”

He reaches out for Damon’s hand and Damon gives it sweetly, grinning as Dylan pets it and continues.

“It was great and you were great and you took such good care of me. But like, he fucked me like he just knew I’d done it before? Like of course, I’m 20 years old, of course some dude has fucked me?” He says it like a question when it’s more like a mystery. Ty has always been mysterious to him. An open book with pages written in invisible ink. “He wasn’t brutal but he was a little rough, you know? Like it was race or something? Like he was trying to orgasm before the shame hit.”

He says this and it’s hard. Like a realization that he knows is rife with assumption but he can’t kick it. Can’t kick wondering if he got fucked despite.

“You ok?” Damon asks, giving Dylan’s hand a little squeeze. Dylan doesn’t nod, just stares ahead, approximating a middle distance.

“It was so fucking good.” He takes a deep breath, “And now I’m fucked. Hell no, I’m not okay.”

Damon nods for him, “Ok.”

That night he goes down on Dylan and then rides him slowly while the boy tunes out and wonders.

He comes with a gasp and when he catches his breath, he releases it again.

“I’m so fucked.”

#dylanxdamon #dj #it's way too early for this #so fucked #hobrien

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bhadpodcast · 7 years

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Best Listener

“Best Listener” is a weird superlative to get when you’re a closeted teenager in high school. Damon was pleased to get it, happy he’d made some sort of mark on his class body, something more permanent than they’d left on him. But still, it was a weird thing to actually think about. Best listener could also mean “Most Quiet” which could be construed to mean “Most Often Unheard” or “Most Misunderstood”. Either way it was a weird thing to contend with, to be called or thought of.

Perhaps though, since he was such a good listener, it’s the reason why Damon was able to pick out the irony in the honor bestowed to him. And besides, it wasn’t wrong, he was a good listener and his friends now told him all the time. And there were times he liked to be listened to, but he has his people for that. So he doesn’t need to talk so much. Mostly he listens.

“Twitter is weird, right?” Dylan is lying on his back and Damon is kneeling on the floor, arms wrapped around the boy’s thighs as he noses at Dylan’s ballsack and kitten licks his taint. He’d had to wax for a movie role and kept it up long after wrap just in case of reshoots. He’d be letting it grow back out soon so this was the last hurrah for a while. The grow back period was always a special form of fun for Damon. He liked the prickly wiriness and how the body stubble would feel against his chin, like a lover growing in their beard.

“I mean, like, Colton and I just had this convo about having Adele’s babies, right?” Dylan said, running his hand over Damon’s head, gasping lightly as he watches Damon taking one ball into his mouth. Damon knew the conversation. The show demanded that each of the cast get and maintain a Twitter account. Something about it being the future of celebrity/fan interaction and it’d be all the rage, Facebook for the common man! Interconnectivity within 140 characters! Damon didn’t know too much about it, just that Ashton Kutcher was hot.

(READ MORE)

Damon doesn’t reply, his mouth is busy anyway, so he continues suckling and waits for Dylan to continue.

“And so like, I’m literally saying that I -a human male- completely lacking of a cervix would have Adele’s baby. And the number one anatomy question? My fucking hips!” At the word hips, Dylan thrusts his slightly. He looks down at Damon apologetically who just smiles. Damon lifts up Dylan’s legs, bending them at the knee and reaches his tongue forward to spelunk in Dylan’s sunken place.

“The fucked up thing is that- shit!” Dylan cuts off as his head goes back and he sighs. His back is arched and his nipples are starting to pebble. There’s a tuft of hair regrowing in the middle of his chest. Damon sneaks a finger through it while the other joins his tongue. “Fuck, I love when you do that! I’m totally going to do that when- shit!”

Damon smiles smugly at the boy who comes down from his bliss rest stop and flips Damon off, grinning devilishly.

“I’m still a newbie, but I swear when I become a pro, I’m going to fuck you up.” Dylan says cheekily as he rubs his nipples and glides his hands up and down his sides. Damon glances into his sparkling eyes and nods.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Dylan laughs in that silent, open mouth thing he does and lays his head back again.

“So anyhow… wait, what were we talking about?”

“I’m going to go with Nothing for $400, Alex.”

“Don’t be a dick, we were fucking talking about… umm, shit! Fuck, was it Shakira? Something about hips? “

“You’re so fucking high.” Damon laughs. He should know, he’s fucking high as shit too. Dylan shakes his head first and then thinks better of it, nodding enthusiastically.

“Okay, so yeah, I’m fucking high, but this isn’t weed’s fault, bro! This is why it’s impossible to have intelligent conversation with a tongue in your ass!”

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve had some really cool conversations with your ass.” Damon quips with a bite to the inside of Dylan’s cheek. Dylan laughs brightly.

“Woah, really? What about?” He asks, unbothered. He’s fisting his cock slowly and holding his balls out of the way as Damon tongues around his rim.

“Mostly about what an asshole you are.” Damon answers with a smacking kiss directly to the boy’s hole. He looks up and sees Dylan peering down at him shaking his head.

“Damn, I walked right into that, didn’t I?”

Dylan’s been more open with him lately, about himself, which Damon appreciates.

“Nah, I’m just that smooth.” Damon edges his tongue along Dylan’s ring again, this time punctuating the ministration with a light blow of wind from his mouth. Dylan giggles.

“Yeah, I guess you are.”

“So you were saying something about having Adele’s babies?”

Dylan nods as though coming back online and grins, partially at Damon’s superior listening skills and partially at the act of his balls being back in Damon’s mouth.

“Yeah! I was saying the fucked up thing is that as long as it’s a guy and a girl, I can be as outrageous as possible and no one blinks an eye, right? But like, if I try to apply the logic that in order to be a pregnant male, Adele would have to have a dick, then it’s gay and everyone gets really weird.”

Damon looks up at the boy.

“Dyl, what the fuck are you talking about?”

Dylan laughs again and shrugs, “Dude, I don’t fucking know!” He sits up and scoots back to the end of the bed leaning against the headboard. He motions for Damon to move closer so he’s not on his knees at the end of the bed, instead laying in between Dylan’s legs. Thoughtful.

“I tried saying something to Hoech about it.” Dylan’s been more open about talking.. well not exactly about Hoechlin, there are times few and far between he’ll mention his name like this, but about his place on the sexuality spectrum at all. He’s working through it, Damon can tell. Trying to figure out what type he is, what he likes, where he fits, if that’s weird. “I said something later while he and I were at Colton’s -I think you and Dan were hanging out- and I was like,

‘I feel like if Adele did want me to have her babies, she’d be real gentle about getting them into me. Like, she’d take real good care of me.’

And I remember watching Colton who laughed like he was nervous, but he has that mask thing going on, you know? And so he’s doing that, but he’s watching Hoech who’s watching the game and just shrugs and says,

‘There’s artificial insemination, bro.’

In that weird, noncommittal way he has, you know? And like, you could hear a fucking needle drop and that’s when you called and me and Colty met you later.”

Damon nods (or rather, bobs), remembering the night. He and Dan had done some shopping for the show and later met up with Colton and Dylan. They’d gotten gelato and Dylan paid for it. Damon wasn’t sure why he remembered that.

“And it made me think -and this is where the me being super high part comes in- but like, how can you be gay and not like dick?”

This makes Damon laugh and choke slightly on the cock in his mouth. Dylan reaches out and instinctively grabs a water bottle from the side table. Damon waves off his concern, but takes a sip before leaning forward and fake strangling Dylan. The little imp is still laughing.

“Did that even make sense in your head?!” Damon yells, poking incessantly at the boy.

“I told you I was fucking high! But hear me out!” Dylan pleads, both hands up and his bambi eyes in full defense mode.

“Okay, so like… what?”

“Okay, I know, but like, everything you can do with a guy, you can also do with a girl, except those things that require a dick, right?” Dylan tries to look matter-of-fact, but even he knows he sounds ridiculous.

“Well there are strap-ons.”

“Well yeah, but I mean, naturally. So it would reason-”

“Oh, so we’re using reason now?”

“Bro, shut up! This is so deep, I promise.”

“Whatever.” Damon lays his head on Dylan’s chest, thumbing the pouty nipple until it blushes and rounds out.

“It would reason, that if you were a dude and wanting to get up on another dude that it’s because you really like dick, right?”

“Well, I don’t know, Dyll, that might be the thing for you, but I guess, like some dudes like really manly, hair lumberjack dudes and some like them twinky, like you.”

“I’m not a twink!” Dylan insists, but laughs when Damon looks at him incredulously.

“I’m only hairless because of the movie, it’s growing back in!”

“Yeah, sure.”

“But I’m a top! Can you be a twink top?”

Damon thinks back to his twink days briefly before shrugging. “I think it’s different for everyone though. Like, some gay dudes don’t even like ass.”

“You see? That’s fucking crazy to me!” Dylan throws his arms up and ogles at Damon in disbelief, “Like, I’m not one to care all that much about labels, but how can you call yourself a gay dude and not like ass? I love ass! I love dick!”

“But you’re not gay.”

“I guess, but I’m pretty fucking close, right?”

Damon cocks a brow, “If Selena Gomez grew a dick you’d be all over that.”

Dylan opens his mouth to debate, but his eyes flick upwards, imagining some pop star abomination and he gapes. “Holy shit, and a beard!? Wait, I don’t know.. I think I may like girls for one thing and guys for another? But like, I wouldn’t be against testing that situation.”

“You’re so fucking weird.” Damon says shaking his head. He gathers Dylan into his arms and Dylan runs his hands up and down Damon’s body, pausing only to briefly grip Damon’s inner thigh.

“I don’t want you to tell me if you can’t, but like… is Colton gay? I never really thought about my gaydar, but I feel like, I could be a good friend to him, if I came out to him, you know?”

Colton was gay, but it wasn’t Damon’s story to tell. Colton’s waited his entire life to be gay and as long as he’s in Hollywood, he’ll wait longer. The day Dylan mentioned earlier he’d actually called Colton to go to an after party of some guy one of the crew of The Vampire Diaries had met at some gay bar in the city. Colton mentioned Dylan and they decided instead on gelato. Weird because Damon knew that Dylan would have loved that party. But these stories weren’t meant to be told yet. Damon just shrugs and looks at Dylan knowingly. Dylan nods and leans over, kissing Damon on the cheek.

“I love that I can talk to you. You’re such a good listener.” Dylan traces a finger over Damon’s eyebrows, clearly imagining someone else’s. Damon sighs. He’s happy Dylan can talk to him. He talks to Posey about pussy. Flirts with Hoechlin about sports. And he talks boys with Damon’s ass.

“You can always talk to me Dylan. Or not talk. Or I can try to make you speechless.”

Dylan’s eyes widen, but then narrow mischievously. He’s learning how to flirt with them. He’s a quick study.

“Sooo… I… Can I fuck you again? Doggystyle?”

“Whatever you want.” Damon replies, kissing him on the nose. Dylan quiets, gets contemplative in that way that he has.

“And if I say… if I say.. like, is that okay? I fucking don’t really want to be an asshole, but is it okay with you that I sometimes say his-”

“Whatever you need, Dylan. This is about you.”

Dylan looks at him as though a bit skeptical. Which surprises and only endears Damon more to him. He realizes he’s not lying. It really is about whatever the young boy wants and needs, about giving that to him. He kisses him soundly, their tongues mingling, Dylan’s searching for a memory of what he still thinks he can’t have and Damon’s searching for ways to make real a fantasy. It works, for a few moments Damon thinks it works though he’s never totally sure when Dylan falls quiet.

Dylan rolls them on the bed and kisses Damon again, holding him to the mattress with a firm hand anchored in the middle of Damon’s chest. He kisses his neck and then sits up, surveying the land laid out before him. He signals for Damon to turn over, which he does, and pulls up his hips. Damon rests his head on his forearms as he hears the click of the lube bottle cap and the rip of the condom wrapper. Dylan preps him in the sloppy, enthusiastic way that could practically be trademarked and finally enters him, bottoming out quickly and breathing hotly into Damon’s ear.

Damon can feel the tickle of Dylan’s growing in pubes at the back of his ass and apparently so can Dylan as he reaches back to feel where the two are joined.

“Fuck, that’s so hot. I wonder what it’ll be like with more hair. You’re less hairy than, fuck, I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”

“Dylan fucking move!”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Dylan pulls out slightly and snaps his hips in again, moaning obscenely, his head planted in the nape of Damon’s neck. As Dylan finds a rhythm his fingers graze Damon’s hairline in the back, following the ‘V’ it forms. The only other person on set who gets the V is-

“Hoech! Oh my fucking... Hoech-” Dylan sputters as he gets lost in whatever fantasy he’s in. Damon doesn’t bristle, just takes it, thinks of his own fantasies, maybe tries to ignore how Dylan is starting to make more and more of an appearance in them.

Dylan strips Damon until both are coming hard, their sweaty bodies shuddering with release. Damon knew well enough to put down a towel so he didn’t ruin his bed, and he’s using it now to quickly wipe down them both down as they position themselves shoulder to shoulder.

Dylan pulls out a cigarette and lights it, taking a puff before passing it to Damon. He gets it back and watches the revolutions of the ceiling fan above them.

“Speaking of beards… they.. they set up another date with that girl I told you about.”

Damon doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t really have to. Mostly he listens.

#dylanxdamon #dj

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bhadpodcast · 7 years

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the damonxdylan headcanons are so interesting, but I keep thinking is damon w/JD too?? Ew, I can't! :P Another question, has colton come out to anyone in the main cast yet? It seems like colton was unsure of hoechs reaction to the joke. Is that bc colton assumes hoech is straight or hoech thinks colton is straight? I'm more bi!hobrien being each others first, but I think your pov is cool too :)

No, Damon and JD broke up before the show started! And Colton was out to a very specific few, Holland, Damon, probably Dan and Jeff. I think maybe he didn’t come out to Hoechlin but assumed Hoechlin knew and then was trying to figure out if Hoechlin was himself.

Given Hoechlin’s upbringing, I don’t think Dylan would have been his first, but it’s possible it was the first time he questioned if it was gay.

#dylanxdamon #sidecar #dj

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bhadpodcast · 7 years

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//I have had a terrible and soul searching week in which my physical and mental health teamed up to rebel against me. Dylan O’brien is alive and well in the RSA and that’s all I got today, boo. And we had pizza day at work. You want a quick Damon/Dylan headcanon? // lol same to all, except I didn't get a pizza day, I got to go to a funeral. Massive yes to Damon/Dylan. Or Hoech/Dylan 😁

Been there, boo, way too many times. Stay strong.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about this picture:

We talk a lot about bb!Dylls (lil Dyll pickle!), but we don’t talk a lot about bb!Damon. And I think it’s because at this point we still don’t know a lot about who he is, but I like to imagine he was a young kid who met an older man that took him under his wing. That they realized they might not make the best couple, but Damon was young and hungry and could perhaps help out on set and be discreet with the things that happened behind the scenes.

He wasn’t a famewhore, he simply loved the environment. He saw enough Hollywood True Stories to know he didn’t want to become one, and knew enough people who made a decent living without ended up on the splash screen of TMZ.

But maybe not enough people? May he didn’t have enough contacts to fully know when something shady was going on during filming. Maybe he didnt’ have enough experience to fully understand the reason behind Jeff’s contempt for Hoechlin or why he was always so wary of Colton. What he did know was that this opportunity was a way to make some new friends while learning the ins and outs of the business

Where Damon lacked this 6th sense, what he did have was superb peripheral vision. Head on he might miss the more pettier nuances, but in his side eye he could see everything. Like a closet case facing immense pressure from their management and family. And the against type twink with the gigantic crush on him.

Some called it chemistry. To the naked eye it was playing off one another, jokes and stories about baseball. It was hero worship at its finest, it was mentorship and a big brother program all at once. The two were only separated by 4 years, but one was a teen and one was an “adult” and it was enough to put aside the thought of any sexual impropriety and firmly encamp their relationship in more of a… scout master/scout type of setting.

Damon knew better. His own age was settled firmly between the two and he could see the twinkle in the older’s eyes every time the boy came into the room. And he could see the wonderment that rained over the boy when the young man graced his presence. They subconsciously felt each other, gravitating effortlessly to one another, not needing to say a single word, sharing nothing but a coy eye before bursting into laughter.

And there were the touches. There were always touching each other. Sport’s touches. Little ways guys had to justify their intimacy to each other. Nevermind that each slap on the ass was really a pat or “playful” squeezing, disregard that the hit to the chest was actually a caress. Ignore the fact that while Hoechlin often referred to Dylan as a “teammate” or “buddy”, he never once said little bro, never implied the familial, never put up a fence that he would only later have to tear down.

And Dylan? Dylan was a revelation to Damon. Ultimately shy and anxious while at the same time being extremely comfortable and open when he got to know you. And he knew you quickly and trusted his instinct. He knew who was going to hurt him and he was mature enough to know how much he could take before he had to let go. And for the things he didn’t know? He’d find a way to ask. Not directly. He never asked Damon to kiss him, to fix his pout when he went down on him; he never asked Damon how to “gay”, not directly. But when he and Damon met, somehow Dylan knew instantly that Damon would be his training ground. And Damon was glad for the assignment.

Now, let’s not be mistaken. This wasn’t done with malice. Damon wasn’t a plaything that Dylan thought he could use and throw out. There was a respect there, a near reverence. He didn’t know all the details, but he knew Damon was on a break after the Jeff stuff. He knew that Damon didn’t want anything long term, but also didn’t want to overuse his Grindr app. Damon was soft spoken and a kind soul, but he had a straightforward wit and cunning that Dylan instantly took to. He’d made fun of Damon’s gauges and Damon just grinned and shrugged and said “well, who doesn’t like a pair of black studs?” while throwing a saucy wink at the boy. Dylan gave his trademarked open mouthed laughed and Damon licked his while watching the boy’s mouth. He was complimentary and Dylan liked that. He was tall and sweet and Dylan liked that too. And most importantly he was game. And discreet. Dylan liked that most of all.

Dylan appreciated the leers he would feel when he knew absolutely no one else was watching. When people tried to pat him on the head, he knew Damon was looking at his ass. When others tried to talk about how cute he was, Damon would growl at him playfully and call him sexy. Dylan knew he meant it. He appreciated that Damon could see beyond the baby fat of his cheeks and recognize the impressive growth in his groin. If Damon could see him that way, maybe someday Hoechlin would too.

What Damon knew, but Dylan didn’t is that Hoechlin already saw Dylan that way, and artfully ignored it. That’s for later though. This starts after the night at Fruit Alley

They toast and dance and both are surprised at the other’s ability to move. Dylan’s hips are extremely pliant and Damon can easily pick up Dylan and wrap his legs around his waist and Damon is swinging him around the dance floor and Dylan shouts in his ear above the music, “I think I would be a top!”

Damon laughs, shocked and drops Dylan who looks confused at first but then shakes his head laughing. “No, not right now, I just mean, in general!” He tries to explain, but Damon is a bit drunk and can’t hear over the thumpa thumpa of the club and all he can see is Dylan throw up his hands and mouth “fuck it!” and then Dylan’s mouth is on Damon’s mouth and they grind on each other in the club.

And Damon is clean shaven, but Dylan still runs his mouth against Damon’s jaw, no doubt with someone else’s in mind, and he moves up to his ear and says, “We should get out of here. Talk about the topping thing, I have a lot of… research I wanna do.” and Dylan pulls back.

What stops Damon isn’t the obvious red flag of a young twink ready to wild out with a few drinks under his belt and a hazy gaze. It’s the fact that when Dylan pulls back Damon’s expecting a cocky put on and bi bravado and what he gets instead are wide, curious eyes asking explicitly for permission. Cock, but not for connections, for confidence, for coin, but… cock for consent. This is something that still existed, but Damon has been in Hollywood long enough to forget it and that scares him. But Dylan gives him hope. Because if he has this then he can keep it, he can hang on to it. He’s gonna get his heart broken, Damon can tell, but maybe Damon can show Dylan how to take it without breaking completely.

“Dylan, you’re not going to fuck me.” Damon says resolutely as Dylan’s eyes fall. He tucks a finger under his chin and kisses him assuredly. “Not tonight. This is it for tonight. And when you’re ready… we’ll try something new.”

Dylan smiles at Damon and Damon smiles back.

Later that night he drops him off at the apartment Dylan shares with Posey and Hoechlin. Posey’s light is out which means he’s either asleep or spending the night at some girl’s house. They have the next day off so Damon is betting the latter. Hoechlin is downstairs by the dumpster talking heatedly into his phone. He’s arguing with someone, probably his girlfriend, though it could be an agent, his tone doesn’t waiver much between the two. Dylan can’t take his eyes off of him. He sighs, but it’s not defeated, it’s… patient. He turns to Damon and reaches over squeezing Damon’s hand. He nods his thanks and piles out. He doesn’t head towards the dumpsters, but instead goes to the door. He stills for a moment. He knows Hoechlin sees him, but Hoechlin acts like he doesn’t, keeps on with the call. Dylan finally goes inside and Damon drives off. As he goes he looks in his rearview mirror and sees Hoechlin watching him, without expression.

He heads to Colton’s apartment. Colton is a sassy bitch and a fun drunk. They’ll shoot the shit and Damon will tell him all of his secrets and Colton will drunkenly forget and he’ll say the night was a good night, but he can’t wait for Monday.

#dylanxdamon #dj

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bhadpodcast · 7 years

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As an actor, being noticed is key. You need to have a quirk, a gimmick, and angle to set you apart from the bunch. Being an extra on set with no real defined job role, you kind of want the opposite. You want people to know you’re there in case you’re needed, but you also want them to forget you so you can sit back and watch.

Damon sits back and watches a lot. He watches as Dylan emerges slowly from his shell. Watches him give suggestions and make funny adlibs that the other actors struggle not to break at. He watches him soak up any tricks the others have like a sponge and then deliver flawlessly.

Damon also notices. He notices that Dylan has gotten a little taller. He’s still a skinny kid, but he’s filling out a bit. He’s going to get ready for a movie soon, it’s still very much in talks, but he’s been talking about “getting in shape”. He says it ironically when he and Damon share a butt after one of their dates. He notices that Dylan calls them dates, freely and without reserve, but also without promise.

Usually when they meet Damon picks up Dylan in his truck, but sometimes Dylan meets him at Colton’s. When he does he always has a flower. He gives it to Damon and shrugs, doesn’t say anything though neither fully knows what it means. He knows Hoechlin’s girlfriend sent him flowers and Hoechlin didn’t talk much on set about it, but that’s when the flower thing started.

He notices Hoechlin noticing Dylan. Again, or even still. He once had to look down at him, but Dylan is slowly reaching his eye level. He sees the shooting star in the boy. Starts to carry himself as less of a mentor and more as an equal. To the untrained eye it my be seen as a move of star power, but Damon thought maybe there was another motive at play.

“He won’t kiss me.” Dylan tells him. They’re laying in Damon’s bed, sharing a beer, smoking and watching a weird infomercial on TV. Dylan likes to predict how many installments and how much the shipping and handling is. He’s always right. “It’s a weird thing, you know? Like, we were just sitting there, watching the game and he smells like the fucking woods and I’m hard as a rock. Just for no real reason. And he like, giggles at me? And says ‘need a hand with that?’.”

“No way!” Damon interrupts at the right time. “He actually said that?” They’re girlfriends now. Hanging out and dishing about boys. They’re not lovers even though they just got done making- well, having sex? What’s 69′ing without strings? Hooking up? They’d just hooked up and now they were chatty cathy’s and Damon felt the need to show Dylan that was okay. For Dylan, and a little for himself.

“I know, right?! Like, who fucking says that anymore? What am I? A pizza delivery guy? A plumber here to fix your sink?” Dylan just shakes his head and laughs. Damon doesn’t push. They’re being cavalier but he knows the boy wouldn’t have brought it up if it didn’t mean something.

“So of course, I’m like hell yeah, but I gotta play it cool so I just nod. And he like, slaps my knee twice and on the third time he grabs it and starts massaging it. And this is when I start to freak out because... I played team sports, you know? I fucking get it, but I don’t get this. This isn’t a quick circle jerk to girls in panties, this is fucking Hoech and... baseball and like, shit I like in one room and my dick is about to be involved.” Dylan takes another pull from his cig and then stamps it out. He’s only ever been a one or two drag kind of guy. One of those kids that started out of peer pressure and keep going to network and it’s something to do, something they think slows them down when the world gets too fast. Damon’s much the same.

“Next thing I know he’s massaging my crotch and all I know in that moment is I want my mouth on him, somewhere, so I look at his mouth and I lick my lips and he grins, and just as I’m to lean towards him he squeezes me and say ‘easy tiger’.” Dylan’s eyes dance as he tells the story. It’s part wonderment, part exasperation, part fondness. It’s all encompassing, as Hoech has come to be, the windmill to his Don Quixote.

“He never says no, actually. He’s always careful not to close any doors, not to burn any bridges and I used to love that about him, but being on the other side is kind of shitty. I feel like, if you offer to put your hands on a guy’s dick, that must mean that in some way you’re interested in another dude’s dick, right? Like, you’re no longer really straight then, but... then.” Dylan stops and looks as though he’s searching for an answer he can just see the edges of, the rest is not quite a blur, but still inscrutable.

Finally he heaves a sigh and shrugs dramatically. “It was all for nothing. Just as he was about to reach into my pants, Posey came home. He’s been fighting with Seana so Hoech went out and got us beer so we could get wasted. It ended up being a fun night.”

“Sounds dope, bro. You should have called, made it a house thing.” Damon offers. He hasn’t been to their apartment much, but he’s anxious to see how Hoechlin notices Dylan in their natural habitat. How they relate to each other. He wants to see how much Posey knows, if he sees anything, or even suspects.

“I wanna blow you.” Dylan says, casual, but enthusiastic, his big brown eyes shining in the sun pouring through the window. Their clarity always catches Damon off guard who nods.

“Yeah, just, remember the thumb thing I taught you if you start to gag.”

“Oh yeah, that thing is gonna be a life save when- uhh...” Dylan stops suddenly, looking up at Damon with something akin to guilt in his eyes.

“It’s a good tip to have.” Damon says gently, caressing his thumb on the back of Dylan’s head. Dylan smiles and kisses Damon softly before slowly making his way down Damon’s torso. Damon watches as Dylan’s pink pout glides smoothly over his cock, bobbing in measured moves flicking his tongue to adjust to the piquant taste of Damon’s pre.

He watches as Dylan’s eyes close, as he leaves his present and goes to his head to imagine another in his place. When he came over he was wearing Hoechlin’s t-shirt.

Damon notices.

#dylanxdamon #dj

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bhadpodcast · 7 years

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but I do feel like there was ~something there. - do you think it still could be or maybe down the road?

I have SOOOO many thoughts! Because the Dylanxdamon stuff will only be in ATL. It’s not even gonna touch #hobrieninlondon or #hobrieninlondon^2! Or the secret cafe meetups, or the grunting baseball games. Uggh, soon… SOON!

#hobrien #dylanxdamon #sidecar

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bhadpodcast · 7 years

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Sticky, thanks for answering my previous ask, sorry for expanding on this but the words were threatening to choke me. I promise to shut up after this. I understood what you were saying with not being true to yourself but that's not who Hoech was. True that Hoechs looks like a people pleaser (love all, judge none? hmm) and all evidence points to that, but at the same time he (used to be?) someone who had the courage to stick to his beliefs. In fact that's how I noticed Dylan. (1/4)

I went to TW following Hoech and Dyl kept saying how in awe he was of this person who was surrounded by opportunities to stray and didn’t. Like he thought Hoech was a goody two shoes not to please others, but in a genuine way. Later on several things made us question Hoech’s genuinity, but what I’m trying to say is that, at the time, Dyl would not have been so admiring of Ty if he had thought he would be someone who would be so ashamed as to repress himself. On the other hand, checking the timeline, Damon/Dyl is a total possibility cause Hoech was just finding out he could fall in love with another guy and he didn’t know he was making eyes at Dylan. Maybe jealousy woke him up? It’s just, the first stages of Hobrien always seemed more supportive than confrontational. More Dylan being ‘you can be yourself and still follow your beliefs’ than ‘I love you but secretely resent you for not being out’. Anyways, thanks again for answering my previous ask and sorry for expanding on this and being a party pooper!

First off, never be choked by words! Let them out, I love to discuss and wouldn’t be writing the dang thing in the first place if I didn’t want interaction. You could never poop on this party, babe!

Now first I’ll preface by saying I’m only at the beginning of this journey so I caution you to assume or read into my motives and direction. I think we’re looking at this from two different angles so I want to be clear of which page I’m on.

Tyler Hoechlin underwent two very big and obvious changes in his life when it came to how his experiences on TW shaped him. I feel like he had a moment of his shell and then a very specific moment of going back in. I feel like Dylan was there at the precipice of both moments.

When I talk about Hoechlin withholding, it’s not about ~shame, but rather about perception. I think Hoechlin grew up very sheltered and very protected and had a clear view of what his life could and would be. I’m not talking about baseball or acting, but rather, if I stay on this course, I’ll have 2.5 kids a wife and a dog and I’ll be “happy”. Along the way that teenage itch for independence bit him in the same way it does all of us, but instead of rebelling and acting out, he was instead a public figure. He had a girlfriend and a purity ring and job and expectations of him.

None of this interfered with a burgeoning interest in men because that simply didn’t exist. It’s not denial if it’s not an option, if it’s not something even on the table for him to choose. So the slips, the dalliances were relegated to boys helping boys and building trust and just trying it out for fun or for boredom sake, but you can’t call it gay because that’s not what it was. Why would anyone even think that/ I mean, girls kiss all the time and hold hands and sit on each other and cuddle and that’s not gay, so if he’s discreet then Tyler should be able to do the same thing.

And I know for us enlightened Tumblr folk this sounds a little crazy, and farfetched and over the top and that doesn’t happen, except I remember watching a documentary about homosexuality (and naturally homophobia) all over the world and there was a certain Muslim culture where in the boys had sex with each other to relieve the tension and remain pure until they got married to their prescribed wives.

I’m gonna let that sentence marinate with you for a moment.

I won’t get into an entire thing about men and sexuality, but I will say that Hoechlin breaking up with his girlfriend was phase one. Hoechlin getting with Britt was phase two. Dylan was phase 1.5.

Damon, in terms of Dylan, acts as a placeholder. Someone that Dylan wants Hoechs to be but knows that he can’t. Now whether Dylan fears this is because he’s scared to come out, or just laying the foundations for a future in the openly homophobic Hollywood is unclear. It’s a strange thing, to have to think about the effect of your relationship in terms of a global box office. With Damon he has someone with the knowledge, but not the baggage. He’s a sounding board, a friend where Dylan has none. A guide to teach him how to be that friend to Hoechlin, but in a different way.

This is why I say there’s not really a resentment for Hoechlin not coming out, not from Dylan because in his own way he hasn’t taken that step either, and fully understands why publicly Hoechlin wasn’t in the place to. But what he wants is the admission in the privacy of their bed. To acknowledge it is their bed. That he’s touching Stiles’ cock because he desires it, he wants him. And that’s something that Hoechlin will dole out like cards at a stakes driven game of 21. Slowly, methodical, infuriating.

Jealousy may exist on Hoechlin’s side and as we go on we’ll see how it’s dealt with, but it’s never explicitly stated or known if Hoechlin knew about Damon. If Dylan considered it “cheating” or masturbation via surrogate.

Damon’s only gonna tell us what he hears, and what he sees.

He’s very observant.

#dylanxdamon #dj #sidecar

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