#during pe i just cant stop thinking about my body breaking and failing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strawberry-possum · 4 years

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Just the idea of wearing a grey shirt and black shorts makes me uncomfortable and today I accidentally did that and by the time I realized (which was like five or six hours into the day I guess I really don't pay attention to what I wear lol) it was too late bc people had already seen what I was wearing so if I randomly changed for no reason in the middle of the day it'd look weird and every time I remember I die a little inside

#btw it makes me uncomfortable bc thats the uniform for pe #pe is just a really big stresser lol #even the fun units like badminton and frisbee!#bc i have A Lot Of Problems with my body #and in the back of my mind during pe im always kinda thinking about them #like #what if my back goes out if i make that jump? and then i imagine how id stiffen in pain and gasp and try not to cry and slowly and #carefully make my way over to the teacher and maybe one of my classmates would ask me whats wrong and i wouldnt be able to answer wo crying #a little etc etc #or ill imagine what would happen if i pushed myself too hard and i couldnt stop coughing and wheezing and id fall to the ground dizzy and i #wouldnt be able to breathe and maybe id even black out a little and id have to be practically carried to the nurses office bc i cant stop #wheezing etc etc #those are the two major things i think about #but i also imagine like #breaking bones and getting concussions and falling on my arm so hard it snaps in half and theres nothing that can be done for it so they #have to amputate it and ive thought a /lot/ about what limbs id prefer to have amputated and lemme say hands down id much rather lose my #right leg #bc my right arm is what i use the most and it sounds dumb but i cant imagine not having my scars on my left arm and leg #idk #during pe i just cant stop thinking about my body breaking and failing #and i guess ive associated that mindset with being in a fucking grey shirt and black shorts #i feel like theres tw tags for this but ill be damned if i can think of what theyd be

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