~ The Spirit Cloak ~

No one: Piper in HOO: Jason is amazing his hair his manners he is the posting image of the perfect boy Percy is not as near as beautiful as Jason I can't believe Jason actually picked me I'm not like other girls I hate make up I hate pretty clothes you know who is pretty Jason is pretty

The cackle I just let out. The CACKLE. Is someone holding you at gun point Piper? You really need to convince yourself (that much which is a bad sign)? Alrighty.

Do you really prefer boiled potatoes and mayo boy over our Lord and Savior Perseus? Alright. You’ve got a shit taste in men. Duly noted. Lesbians claim haaaar.

I’m sorry, I know a lot of people love Piper (and amnesia brick boy Jason) and she's a fucking kid but that just makes me shake my head. Way too cute. It’s that typical “I’m not like the other girls” behavior that stems from many edgy places and that Riordan of course wasted as a potential for an interesting arc. Piper is essentially trauma walking on two feet and that as a fact is fucking upsetting with everything happening from her parents, her heritage to whatever Jiper was. Clinging onto the equal of white flour that was Jason as a stable consonant for once... I get it. But chill girlie, those two inches ain’t worth it. Also Jason was the one dude that collected Ls like there was no tomorrow. Turn them into a the biggest W by leaving his sorry ass. Oh wait.

And that I hate makeup and clothes part? I get it and I appreciate different conceptions of characters but I had the feeling that Clarisse pulled that one in a more cohesive and natural way off? Rebellious streak be damned. The entire Aphrodite cabin was written messy as hell. Yes, the way that Aphrodite dressed her up was wrong, humiliating and straight up sexualizing and never should have happened but I wished that towards the end a better resolution had been found?

Goddamn. The lie that was Jiper. This fake relationship was really something and made me really dislike both Jason and Piper throughout the series. I know these kids are young, dumb and in love with the idea of love but the fuck Ricardo?? As if they’ve got nothing better to do than to lust over people they’ve met five minutes prior. Like what? The ”romantic“ subplot was taking overhand and that made the reading experience for me at least less enjoyable. I’ll say it again: HOO Piper and Jason are truly off as characters. The wasted potential, my guys. The fucking wasted potential.

Also tbh they should’ve broken up during HOH as a contrast to Percabeth. Just sayin. TOA was a wonderful way of maturing them. But it came way too late.

RECAP: SESSION 10.5

SESSION TEN PART TWO

Rhododendron and Jun have been arguing about whether or not they should go back and talk to the hag, occasionally yelling for input from Inigo and Verrix across the spike trap. They go back and forth for another minute before Rhododendron, feeling like they’re just going in circles and wasting time (which Jun is doing on purpose) turns back around and confronts Auntie May about knowing her name. Auntie May gives several vague threats and cryptic responses before Rhododendron finally decides to ask about her bow - but gets no answers. Rhododendron asks if she can shoot the pool of water in her room, but Auntie May says she’s ‘growing a good crop of bacteria’ in there and doesn’t want Rhododendron to mess with it. 

Rhododendron: “Look, I don’t think a bow can kill bacteria, I think they’re too small. It’ll probably like, go around them.”

Auntie May finally lets Rhododendron shoot the pool of water after extracting some of the nasty green plant/algae/whatever growth out of it. The bow acts as it has before in these temples, gathering light at the arrow tip and revealing a staircase after the water evaporates. The hag isn’t impressed, and tells Rhododendron that’s she’s only just revealed her basement, which she uses for ‘storage’. Jun, who’d been watching at the entryway, finally joins Rhododendron as she descends the last staircase, and when Rhododendron lights one of her torches both of them see a small room full of rotting clothes and skeletons. Jun immediately turns around and leaves and after a moment of disappointment Rhododendron follows.

Auntie May: “Well, I did you a favor, yes? I let you shoot my pool and kill everything I was working for and now I’m going to be set back another decade.” 

Rhododendron: “I - I guess.” 

Auntie May: “Good. And now you can do me a favor.” 

(WIS ST 8) Auntie May touches a finger to Rhododendron’s chest, where a dark red stain blossoms from, enveloping Rhododendron’s entire body before disappearing. 

Auntie May: “Okay, you’ll do Auntie May a favor in good time, my friend. YOU WILL NEVER HARM AUNTIE MAY.” 

Rhododendron: “Okay…seems like the favors aren’t equal…” 

Auntie May: “WHEN THE TIME COMES AND YOU FIND MY LITTLE LOST ITEM, YOU WILL GET IT AND BRING IT RIGHT BACK TO ME, NO QUESTIONS ASKED. NOT ONE. That’s all. Good-bye.” 

Rhododendron: “Oh boy. Oh no.”

Jun is horrified, staring open-mouthed at the two of them. Rhododendron and Jun finally leave Auntie May, collecting a still-poisoned Verrix and Inigo on their way out. The rush out of the temple, Verrix landing on his face as he falls out of the window. They barely manage to make it out in time for Jun’s spell to end, with people trying to break down the front door with renewed force. Jun warns that the spell protecting the temple is fading now that Rhododendron’s removed the barrier, and doesn’t want to stick around when the rest of the adventurers finally get inside. Rhododendron is worried about the hag killing people, but Jun doesn’t want any of them to be associated with Laoteng’s temples, and insists that it’s someone else’s problems. 

Rhododendron: “Why don’t you care?” 

Jun: “I do, about - about us being connected to these temples and being able to open places that haven’t been opened for a long time. And to creepy hags, one of which you’ve made a Pact with.”

Now that the immediate danger is behind them, the group now focuses on purging the poison from Verrix and Inigo. They head towards one of Nyvarstra’s temples in the town, planning on paying a cleric to cast Lesser Restoration. In El Canje’s temple to Nyvarstra, they find a cleric and a fully armored (very tall) woman, who is making it very obvious that she’s bored with all of this. Rhododendron tries to work her charm on the stranger, who says that she’s a paladin that’s been tasked with guarding this temple in spite of the town being relatively safe, and seems generally unimpressed with everything Rhododendron says to her, mostly responding with ’okay’ and ‘sure’. The stranger says that the cleric can cure their poisoning, but then whines that it isn’t impressive because she can too. After quite a bit more persuasion/flirting, Rhododendron manages to convince the paladin to cure Verrix and Inigo for 300 silver. 

Marlee: “I’m getting paid to stand here, and I’d really like to continue that. The paid part.” 

Rhododendron: “But you’ll also get paid outside.” 

Marlee: “That’s true. Tough choice. Think I’ll pick standing.” 

Rhododendron: “Wow, that’s so brave.” 

Marlee: “Ya. You know me, haha, brave. (Scoffs)”

Rhododendron properly introduces herself, and the paladin spends several minutes wondering about the rarity of Rhododendron’s name and its origin before remembering to say her own name: Marlee. She finally agrees to help the party out after a little more persuasion from Rhododendron. Rhododendron brings Inigo over to Marlee first to get healed (Verrix: “I guess I’ll just die here.”)

Marlee: “Damn, you look, like, real short. I didn’t realize how small you were until, like, another person stood next to you, and like…you know, heels are not that expensive. Oh, but not for spider killing. Boots, maybe?”

Rhododendron: “I’m wearing boots.”

Marlee slaps Inigo across the face, using Lay Hands and healing his poisoning, she does the same to Verrix, who immediately sits down after getting slapped. Rhododendron tries to ask Marlee about how much longer she’s supposed to be stuck at the temple, and a little about the cleric she’s working with. 

Rhododendron (about the cleric): “So is he like a dick?” 

Marlee: “Oh, no. He’s just, like, boring, you know? You talk to him and he talks about, like, Nyvarstra. And it’s like, you know. Cool. I guess. Like, I get it. Dragon, goddess. Alright.” 

Rhododendron: “Not so easily impressed?” 

Marlee: “It’s fine, whatever, you know?”

When Rhododendron asks what there is to do around town, Marlee says that they’re better off just leaving and heading to Dynafell. When Rhododendron mentions that Marlee seems unsatisfied with standing in one spot in the temple for the rest of the foreseeable future, Marlee scoffs, mentioning that the only other option she has is ‘adventuring with people she doesn’t like’. Rhododendron offers to take Marlee with them when they leave the town, while the rest of the party scoffs about her flirting skills (again). Marlee flat out admits that she doesn’t think Rhododendron is as charming as she seems to think she is, and that adventuring is too disgusting to be worth it. Marlee also says that her armor, that she doesn’t want to mess up, was a graduation gift, but doesn’t want to get into the specifics about why she ‘sort of’ got the gift for herself. 

Rhododendron: “Doesn’t it count as shitty paladin-ing to not do anything good with you gifts?” 

Marlee: “No, I like just did a good thing today. There were these two dudes who were like totally poisoned and I, out of the goodness of my heart, just like healed them for no reason.” 

Rhododendron: “You were paid.” 

Marlee: “Yeah, that too.” 

Rhododendron: “And you think the source of all of your abilities is satisfied with that mere sacrifice?” 

Marlee: ”……Yeah, I still feel magic flowing through me so I guess it’s chill.”

Marlee says that she’s okay doing nothing with her skills, planning on saving up the money to retire from the ‘adventurer life’ and open a bakery in ten years. She gets annoyed/bored with her conversation with Rhododendron, and turns around to start ignoring her, especially since Rhododendron keeps saying that Marlee is lying. Rhododendron tells Marlee that her plans will probably fall through, to which Marlee says that her negativity is unwanted in a ‘place of healing’. As Rhododendron tries one last time to convince Marlee to join them, Marlee says that she likes being an ‘edgy loner’ (Verrix: “Cheers.”). Marlee tells them to try looking for a mercenary in one of the local taverns instead, since they love adventure. Rhododendron compares Marlee to Verrix a few times, and Verrix tries to look cool by putting his feet up on a seat in front of him - not realizing that he’s in the first row of pews, so they just kind of…hover in the air. Marlee also accidentally reveals that she’s only been doing the paladin thing officially for six months, and was stuck in an unpaid internship for two years - living in Calden before this and a mountain town before that.

Rhododendron asks Marlee if she’ll be in the tavern later, but Marlee says that she goes to bed at eight pm after reading a book, since she wakes up at four am - she says she needs her beauty sleep, although Rhododendron can tell that Marlee hasn’t combed her hair in days. Marlee admits that she loves romance novels, and when Rhododendron doubts that she’s ever been in love, Marlee says that she’d liked someone once but it hadn’t worked out. Rhododendron tries to convince Verrix to talk to Marlee to persuade her to join them, but the rest of the party expresses their doubts since she doesn’t seem to like any of them.

Rhododendron: “How long did it take you to like me?” 

Verrix: “I don’t know, how long did it take my leg to heal?”

When Verrix is reluctant to try to talk to Marlee and Inigo doesn’t want to flirt with her, Rhododendron tries to rethink her strategy, reminding the rest of the party that they really do need a healer. Jun hands Rhododendron a pen and some paper and suggests that she try writing Marlee part of a romance story - when Rhododendron asks him why he doesn’t write it himself, he says that he can’t love. 

Rhododendron: “Do you not know anything about love?” 

Jun: “No, I do not. I cannot.” 

Rhododendron: “W-what?” 

Verrix: “You can’t love?” 

Jun: “Oh, no.” 

Rhododendron: “What? Why not?” 

Jun: “I feel like we’re getting off topic.” 

Rhododendron: “No, I feel like we’re one hundred percent on-topic.” 

Jun: “I don’t have a heart.”

(Jun definitely pretends that he doesn’t know how he lost his heart.) When Rhododendron asks if he’s sure that he can’t love, he says that he’s sure he can’t, and that his heart was taken a long time ago. He isn’t concerned about it at all, despite Rhododendron trying to make him see the importance of it. Inigo says that Jun probably isn’t missing out on anything important, since ‘heartbreak probably sucks’. Jun says it’s convenient not to have emotions, since it lets him focus on magic, and really doesn’t understand why Rhododendron keeps trying to convince him that he should feel emotions. Verrix says that as long as it isn’t hurting him it should be fine. Jun does admit that he was a little upset about giving his heart away/having it stolen (uses both phrases) at the time but that it helped having it gone, since he was crying about ‘being scared and separated from his parent’ before it was taken. (He does lie about when it was taken, and the circumstances surrounding that.)

Rhododendron finally says that she can’t deal with that line of conversation anymore and moves on to writing the romance story for Marlee. She initially wants to write about the moon, but after Jun says that is probably blasphemous she changes the story to be about a baker and a prince. Rhododendron purposefully ends the story on a cliffhanger, and writes Verrix’s name on the book as they plan to get him to give the story to Marlee. Verrix goes over to Marlee and asks if she can read the story, and despite her noting that the way he asked her sounded vaguely like a threat, she agrees to read it since Verrix looks particularly desperate. She leaves, telling Verrix that she’ll get back to him in three to five business days. When Rhododendron asks how the conversation went, Verrix mentions that Marlee implied his author’s lifestyle wouldn’t be enough to feed his family and take care of his kids, causing the party to go off on a tangent that leads both him and Inigo into wondering whether or not they have children. Rhododendron promises to look for the kids when they go to find Jun’s heart.  Despite Verrix’s protests, Rhododendron also manages to convince him to follow Marlee to her hotel room and bother her in the morning about the story.

The party goes to the only tavern in town (named Tavern), asking around for information, and find that while adventurers were able to get into the temple, there is no one that has heard of the hag. Verrix goes over to an edgy looking stranger and attempts to make small talk, but somehow gets convinced that the stranger stole his children, and ends up making him cry. The stranger, in tears, tells Verrix that he has no idea where his kids are. Verrix says that he’ll leave the stranger alone as long as he doesn’t try to steal any children before returning to the rest of his party. Rhododendron investigates some of the rooms upstairs but isn’t able to find Marlee at all, she gets Inigo to talk to a bartender she’d already bothered to get a room for the party that he ends up overpaying for. Verrix wakes up at four in the morning, sulking, and stands out in the hallway to keep an eye out for Marlee - he awkwardly tries to ask her about the book, and she hands him a very detailed sheet of notes, saying that the book has potential but desperately needs an editor. Verrix goes back to the room and wakes up Rhododendron, attempting to tell her that their plan sort of worked.

Verrix: “WAKEUPWKAEUPWAKEUP. She read your thing. The thing you wrote. She read it.” 

Rhododendron: “What? I don’t read.” 

Verrix: “I know.” 

Rhododendron: “Who is she? I’m the she…” 

Verrix: “Big armor? The person with the big armor read your book.”

Rhododendron: “Big armor…? He’s gone, Verrix. But we’re gonna get him back. It’s okay.” 

Verrix: “Shut up - you mean Raz??? No! I don’t think Raz read your book.”

After he gets nothing out of a sleepy Rhododendron, he tries to wake up Jun to get him to read Marlee’s notes to Rhododendron, which Jun immediately refuses without opening his eyes. Verrix then wakes up Inigo, who is immediately completely alert.

Verrix: “Can you read this?” 

Inigo: “What are these, words?” 

Verrix: “I think so, yeah.” 

Inigo: “Oh. Then, no.” 

Verrix: “Oh. Huh. I’m going back to sleep.”

When Rhododendron finally wakes up, Verrix tells her that he got Marlee’s thoughts on the story, to which Rhododendron says that he was supposed to befriend her and try to persuade her to join their party. Verrix makes Jun read the review to which he says it’s pretty harsh, saying that she goes on and on about spelling and grammar errors, a cliché plot, and overused tropes. There is a little doodle at the bottom of the page depicting the prince from the story. Rhododendron remains optimistic, saying that it shows Marlee cared enough to read the story all the way through. Jun and Rhododendron both grill Verrix over his interaction with Marlee, and he balks a little under the scrutinization as they try to get any useful information out of his interaction with her.

The party goes off to bother Marlee, finding her taking her lunch break right outside the temple. After a few minutes they realize that she isn’t kidding when she says that she actually liked the story, and she returns the story to them completely covered in ‘annotations’. Marlee, while still standoffish, is a lot nicer to the party (read: Verrix) and humors them a little before finishing up her lunch break and heading back inside of the temple. While the party discusses strategies for trying to persuade Marlee to join them, Inigo leaves to go get flowers, returning with six huge bouquets and saying that he spent all of the rest of his money.They go inside the temple, handing Marlee to flowers, which she mistakes as a donation to the church. 

Marlee: “Nyvarstra appreciates your sacrifice, and whatever prayer you had will be addressed in like, you know, however long. Seconds, days, weeks, years. Like, whatever. (Hands the flowers to the cleric) These are like a really nice donation, I guess. The church needs some sprucing up, ya.”

Rhododendron: “Nonono, they’re for you!” 

Marlee: “Oh. For what?” 

Inigo: “You…won!” 

Rhododendron: “No!” 

Inigo: “No? You’ve lost. I’m so sorry.” 

Rhododendron: “Oh, gods no. Go back to ‘you won’.” 

Inigo: “Oh? We faked you out. You won! (Got ‘em!)”

Using Inigo’s flimsy excuse for the flowers, the party continues to try to persuade Marlee to go with them, but she’s still extremely reluctant. Marlee is very confused about whether the party wants her to join them as an editor or an adventurer, and tells Verrix that splitting his focus between two careers isn’t very fair to his children. Rhododendron tries to show off Cure Wounds to Marlee to display some of her capabilities, to which Marlee calls her ‘impulsive’ and ‘weirdly dramatic’. Marlee still expresses her displeasure about monsters and dungeons, saying that she’d rather not die or get hurt. She doesn’t trust the party to look after themselves properly, let alone her.

Marlee, looking between Verrix and Inigo: “Clearly the rations are not being split equally.” 

Rhododendron: “All of his calories just go to his enormously fat ass. Turn around, Verrix.”

Marlee, after some more hesitation, finally agrees to join the party but says she doesn’t want to be friends with any of them. She then quits her job on the spot and immediately leaves the temple. The party gathers up all of their stuff and leaves El Canje, heading towards Whitwood. Rhododendron, unsurprisingly, easily navigates the road there. They cross over the river Yulong’s Laugh a few hours outside of Whitwood, and Rhododendron tells the party not to call her by her name while in the town, putting on a disguise. Verrix and Jun are both a little miffed that Rhododendron is still very obviously hiding something from them, but neither calls her bluff on any of her badly concealed lies. They disguise her to look like Marlee, who says she’s fine with it as long as their names don’t match. Marlee names her ‘Lorka’, after the first sound that popped into her head. 

In Whitwood, Rhododendron keeps pretending like she doesn’t know where anything is despite constantly correcting the party when they look around. She runs into quite a few people she’s grown up with, but manages to stay disguised and unrecognizable from them. (She and Verrix also switch cloaks, much to Verrix’s dismay.) The party stocks up on rations and supplies for traveling in the mountains. While Verrix and Jun keep making asides to each other about how weird Rhododendron is acting, Jun says that he can’t really criticize her for going around in disguise under a different name. As she’s pointing out the different buildings, Rhododendron explains that everyone is homeschooled here with no formal education, making it the ‘longest game of telephone you’ll ever play’. After stocking up the party goes to a tavern to have one last real meal before heading into the mountains, with Rhododendron taking time in particular to endorse the ‘honey roasted pine cones’ (Marlee is more than a little alarmed at how big they are). 

Verrix: “My friends and…….Lorka would like to order.”

Waitress/Owner/Cook (Aleena): “Well, that’s a weird way to exclude someone!”

While they have dinner, Marlee expresses a displeasure for small towns and Verrix attempts to intimidate one of the townsfolk staring at them, maintaining eye contact for two straight minutes before the guy finally looks away. When Inigo keeps forgetting Rhododendron’s fake name and says it’s weird that she has one, she tells him to pick out a fake name; he chooses ‘Verrix Three’ and doesn’t understand when they ask what happened to Verrix Two.

Rhododendron: “What about you Inigo?” 

Inigo: “Hmm?” 

Rhododendron: “Thoughts?” 

Inigo: “Oh. No.”

Both Verrix and Marlee crunch on the honey covered pine cones in front of a disapproving Rhododendron. Verrix comments that the pine cones are at least a little better than giant worm legs. Rhododendron puts some of Marlee’s leftover pine cones into her bag, disgusting Verrix when she just sticks them in there, not covering them at all. The party leaves a generous trip and then departs from Whitwood - but before they go Rhododendron peaks into her parents’ house, seeing them eating a quite family dinner. She slips a note under their door, telling them that she’s left Dynafell and has gone traveling, and that she loves them. 

The group embarks down Elfslayer’s Run, and Rhododendron makes the mistake of letting Jun talk about the history of the area, which all of them tune out. Rhododendron asks Marlee where she’s from, and she tells the group that she was born in Peligro and moved around a few times in her childhood after spending a good portion of it in a quiet mountain town. Rhododendron asks Marlee why she chose to be a paladin and Marlee just says that she would rather do that than be a cleric, since they’re ‘losers’. She also mentions that she became a paladin at the same time as her sibling, who moved to Terminus last she heard.

Marlee: “Sometimes, (voice crack) we send letters? But I’m, like, really forgetful, so like I forget to send my letters all the time so the last time I got a letter from them was like………two months ago. But it’s like, whatever, you know? They can take care of themselves.”

Rhododendron asks Marlee if she heard a dragon roar prior to the appearance of the silver dragon in the skies a few weeks ago, but Marlee says that she didn’t. She does supply her sister’s name: Morgan. After Marlee doesn’t really provide any more answers, Rhododendron checks back in with Jun, who’s still in the middle of an impromptu history lesson that no one is listening to, which she tells him. Rhododendron brings up his heart again, asking why he never tried looking for it, and he tells her that he hasn’t seen the point since he doesn’t need it and ‘can’t sell it’. Jun brushes aside talking about his heart, instead launching into a very dry discussion about different applications of Evocation magic in daily life - like the exact temperature necessary to boil tea (Rhododendron does not pay attention, disgusted with the ‘boring academic talk’). They rest partway along Elfslayer’s run, taking their time since none of them are familiar with the area - Rhododendron has never been this far North and Jun took a different path out of So’Joh when he ran away.

Rhododendron: “…I miss the people in this group that were actually my friends. Not you, Jun, but oof - you’re exhausting right now. Are you having book withdrawals or something?” 

Jun: “Hmm...Actually, I think I’m excited to be here I’ve never been to this part of the country.” 

Rhododendron: “Ugh, get a hobby.”

My experience as a Grim Gest member from 2017-2018

I don't necessarily want you to post this as the screenshots I have would not only eliminate my anonymity but also don't carry enough weight on their own to be really effective in showing their deplorability. However, I'm fine with you guys posting the one screenshot I linked if you want because it showcases the ridiculing of a previous member. That being said the image is from November 2017 so I don't know if you do. I moreso want to share my experience being in the Grim Gest from roughly November 2017- March 2018.

I joined their ranks because I'm incredibly fond of the undead in WoW, and for the most part had a lot of fun roleplaying with them. For all their OOC faults I do truly think that they're decent roleplayers IC. The first few months were fine. I got to know the active members and had a lot of fun, but after a while of being in the guild we got a new member who was rping a dark ranger. A lot of us really disliked him as he constantly used the "I'm a dark ranger" card to silence other guilds and members, acting like his character was more important. He constantly used anti-living godmotes in his rp, famously doing a Sylvanas banshee scream in a campaign that he said would "deafen any living who could hear it"  and as a result pissed off a lot of other horde members ic and ooc. A lot of us wanted him to tone it down, but Morsteth repeatedly defended the rp saying it was good and that he really liked the character. One day however (I forget what he did) the guy was removed from the guild as the officers persuaded Morsteth to kick him. Morsteth then decided to do a complete 180 on his opinions of him, and kept saying "I don't know what I was thinking that guy was awful" going as far as to eventually compile every cringey thing the guy had said ooc (shown below):

and posting it presumably in the vile PCU discord. I thought it was funny at the time but ultimately it was pretty much a character assassination of this guy.

Later on I noticed in their discord a lot of onesided political discussions taking place, one of which was on the topic of white privilege and black lives matter. I argued with Morsteth and co. about it for about a day and was essentially ganked over my opinion. Morsteth became pretty upset with the argument and stripped me of my roles, restricting me to typing in a "Toxic Lair" channel, telling me that he would talk to other officers and decide my fate once he was home despite having heard the "ooc is ooc and ic is ic"  meme. That night I received an apology from Morsteth telling me "Alright, basically it comes down to our personal argument and I think we both should have left it earlier, so it's not a one-sided thing so I don't really have a reason to "hate" you or ban you from the guild as you didn't do anything wrong. Just typed some mong stuff in my personal opinion." he even admitted to "blowing [the argument] out of proportions" and apologised for putting me into the lair channel. I was a bit sceptical of this and had been having a hard time irl, but eventually I said I would stick with the guild instead of leaving.

Afterwards a lot of the members were a bit quieter with me, I was ignored frequently and was feeling strange about the whole thing. During this period I became pretty depressed and started to talk to one of the high ranking but not officer members who had been in the guild for ages. He was pretty chill and offered me a lot of advice in dealing with things, and I refrained from talking about my sadness in guild chat, only speaking to this one guy on days I felt awful. Time passed as normal in the guild, but as it did I got a little more bored with WoW. Content had slowed down and my schoolwork was catching up with me so I had informed the guild that I would be more inactive as I had school stuff to deal with. I had also made the apparent mistake to gush about my excitement at the introduction of dark iron dwarves and void elves to the alliance, saying that I was going to make one. Over the next three months my sub died, and to fill gaps of boredom I played other games that I happened to own instead of wasting money on a sub I wouldn't fully use. After 3 months inactivity I was kicked which honestly is fair enough. I asked why I was removed and I was told that it was the inactivity and also because I was apparently becoming alliance in bfa despite never explicitly deciding to do that or saying I would. I explained that I wasn't intending to play alliance and that I had been busy as my exams were coming up, but Morsteth told me that I had been playing games that weren't WoW in my freetime, but in reality I'm prone to leaving the launchers open for games sometimes. I convinced him that I'd sub back in a week once my exams finished and I attended a few rp events and spoke in discord frequently.

Exactly a week after I was invited back I saw that Morsteth was insulting some guy by calling him a soyboy. I asked why he used that insult when there was little evidence linking soy with femininity or emasculation, cited a few credible sources and was met with "my brother works in chemistry and he says its uncertain if it does impact men or not". I naturally thought this defence was ridiculous and argued with him that he didn't have any credible sources, resulting in his enragement at the fact that I believed his brother wasn't knowledgeable about the chemistry of soy. I saw how the argument was going to go and decided to halt it, apologising for arguing with him and stopping the conversation, he hesitantly agreed and saw that we didn't need to argue about it. A few minutes later I spied a Morsteth is typing in the chat, and quickly typed something along the lines of "dude if this is a 3 page rebuttal to the argument that we stopped telling me about how I'm wrong I swear to god dude" and seconds after sending this he posted two paragraphs of soy information trying to disprove me. Likely consumed by rage at this point he quickly typed "ok that's it" and booted me from the guild. I pmed him saying "are you this pissed over a fucking argument? You wanted me gone a while ago, come on be honest dude" to which he replied "you dont see it yourself but ur basically an edgy teenage jerk that rly annoys people to no end while contributing nothing to the guild, so just please stay with elder scrolls online" followed up with "you are annoying dude not just to me". Then he blocked me, and I was incredibly upset. I was so annoyed that I had spent a year in this guild for it to be over because he couldn't man up and shake hands over a soy argument. In my anger, I made a video of the image with Why can't we be friends playing in the background and uploaded it to my channel, titling the video "The Grim Gest in a Nutshell". 

I was pmed later on by his lackey Seth (who I've seen on here being victimised by the guild, how ironic) who told me multiple times that I was the one in the wrong, that I was an idiot, that I was actively making the guild worse being in it and that I would never find a good guild again as I had messed up with the GG. This did nothing but piss me off further but I got over it after a long time. I left the horde as a whole and faction changed my undead to alliance, no longer wanting to play on a side populated by arguably deplorable people. I stayed in contact with one of their Officers who thought it was extreme for me to be kicked over the argument, he tried to convince Morsteth that it was a rash decision but told me that I'd probably never be invited back which I was fine with. I began rping on the alliance and managed to avoid a lot of drama in the next month before seth messaged me again.

I got a message telling me that I needed to take down my video immediately. Apparently when Morsteth tried to show another guild footage from a past pvp event he told them to search up the Grim Gest on youtube, and my video was the first to appear. I was told by Seth that if I didn't remove the video the Grim Gest alongside the other PCU guilds would mass flag every video on my channel (which I don't really care about). I told Seth that I didn't care at all, and if he wanted to flag me then he could go ahead. I messaged my officer friend who told me that Paingriever and Morsteth were attempting to compile all the dirt they had on me and make an equally defaming video despite me only posting a selfie into the discord and perhaps once or twice saying that I was depressed in discord, there was really zero dirt to find on me. I told Seth that if Morsteth wanted to talk to me he should do it himself, and got no response and remained blocked on discord by the baron. Eventually I was convinced by my officer friend that it was probably the right thing to do to move on and delete the video, but with all the utter bullshit I've seen on forums from Morsteth, alongside the COAD posts that showcase his idiotic shenanigans I felt like I had to get this off my chest. 

A final meme comes from a campaign I took part in, where some dwarves were swearing excessively IC. I almost fell off my chair when I saw several Grim Gest members saying that it was making them feel uncomfortable despite a long running meme in their discord being an emote that read "unsafe" being posted whenever someone swore, it was explained to me that they had a member who always complained that swearing made her feel unsafe, and after she left they used it sarcastically at any complaints made about swearing. 

In short; I utterly detest Morsteth and the rest of the PCU, these guilds are the reason that I don't rp undead anymore, which greatly upsets me as they remain my favorite race in the Horde. Perhaps once they mess up hard enough and are punished I might finally be able to play the race that I love, but that seems like an impossible future.

Hussie, Hitler, And Boy I’m Tired

I said earlier that I didn’t want to put on my hip waders and muck about in the Homestuck tags. *pulls off hip waders* I went anyways. I went even though I was feeling pretty good because I had a nice dinner and got to watch the New Years Bake-Off special. I went anyways, and I did it for you, my eight followers who aren’t pornbots. It turns out the Homestuck fandom of Tumblr is as scary and hyperbolic as ever, and has taken one lousy bit of badly written crap and extrapolated that backwards into ‘Homestuck has always been a racist anti-semetic pile of garbage and everything about it is terrible and Andrew Hussie needs to die.” I’m not paraphrasing, by the way. Someone out there is chanting ‘die Andrew Hussie die,’ because he had the gall to... clumsily dunk on Hitler like a fifteen year old trying to impress his English teacher with edgy comedy? This new stuff is too dumb to be offensive, especially in an era with, y’know, Hitler-praising alt-right Neo Nazis actually being mainstream media figures.  Hey Tumblr fandom? Can you... mm not chill, chill’s not the word I’m looking for what is it... oh yes. Can y’all fuck off for once?

Tumblr doesn’t deserve to enjoy things because it doesn’t know how to enjoy things responsibly. It lurches from adoration to hatred without pause, and as a writer it gives me nothing but an anxiety. I cannot produce anything imperfect, I cannot ever write crap because if I do then all my work will be tainted by it forever. On Tumblr you are always judged by your worst effort, which is a fucking god-awful standard for large media franchises of any kind. You know who one of the greatest, most thoughtful, socially-driven authors of the twentieth century was? Terry Pratchett. You know what’s kind of sexist and lazy and awful? The Colour of Magic. You know what’s weirdly colonialist and smug and all-around shit? Snuff! Neither of those shitty books invalidate the forty other Discworld novels. The existence of Anchorman’s bloviating nothingness doesn’t erase Will Ferrel’s warm and desperately human performance in Stranger Than Fiction. The Forced Kiss Equal Romance kiss in Blade Runner doesn’t erase the rest of the movie piercing question on the nature of what it means to be human. And on and on and on. Andrew Hussie’s sneeze-shart dogshit history rewrite that was so embarrassingly bad it got pulled from the internet didn’t erase Rose/Kanaya, or gay Dave, or Joey Claire tap-dancing her little heart out to try and defeat a monster. And even if Andrew Hussie does a JK Rowling and produces nothing but ill-thought-out crap from here until the day we all die in the great Disney Final Merger of 2023, it still won’t invalidate the good moments that made you happy. I mean if Andrew Hussie toddles out of retirement onto a talk show in a bathrobe to discuss his new revelations on the Puppetgrandmasters of Scion who all have worryingly Semetic names, I’m not going to be so naive as to pretend that his earlier media can be consumed in some kind of vacuum, that the future cannot affect the past. but I am saying that the good that happened in it - the things that affected you in positive ways - are not ethereal. It mattered to you then, and that’s okay. Tumblr’s hyperbolic responses seem to be rooted in embarrassment and self-flagellation. People seem so terrified by the thought that anyone might associate them as a fan of something - gasp - linked to controversy that they... well, they say shit like “die andrew hussie die.” Hey dude. Hey. You need to redirect that anger, my friend. There’s actual Neo-Nazis in the streets. On the TV. In the US government. I guess what I’m trying to say is... Woof. Okay. You know, to give Andrew Hussie partial credit here, its nice to see someone actually write Adolf Hitler the way he really was - a pant-shitting constantly whiny toddler of a human being who endlessly threw tantrums and got to where he was largely on the strength of other people’s bad decisions. Remember kids: the biggest myth Neo-Nazis have ever perpetrated is that Germany under Hitler was well-run, well-organized, and anything other than a collection of squabbling dysfunctional fiefdoms run by party hacks propped up by a bureaucracy and military too bound by inertia, ego, and cultural racism to do anything to stop a lunatic from ripping their country to shreds. That whole ‘trains running on time’ thing? It’s nonsense. Go study the conduct of the war once Germany had exhausted all its pre-war stockpiled resources and ran out of useful shit to loot, once it had to start relying on its leadership for the things that make wars winnable - supplies, reinforcements, fuel, winter clothing. Watch the way from 1942 onwards Germany stumbled from one disaster to the next, as Hitler fired more and more generals and drew more and more authority to himself and his fellow party cronies. Hitler should not be feared as a man of competence or skill - he was a buffoon, a clown of a human being fuelled entirely by petty, vindictive spite and an unlimited capacity for cruelty. And before anyone goes ‘well if he was so objectively pathetic how the fuck did he take over Germany’ I direct you to google the last two years of American politics and the words ‘Donald Fucking Trump.’ [I recommend, on these war subjects particularly, Sir Antony Beevor’s bleak and sobering works, particularly Stalingrad, Berlin: The Downfall 1945, and Ardennes 1944: Hitler's Last Gamble.]  Sorry this... kind of got away from me somewhat, but I really hate it when people get mad that someone didn’t take Hitler seriously (and, to be strictly fair, this is not what everyone is mad about in regards to Andrew Hussie, either). You should never take Hitler seriously. Take hate seriously - take violent words, and calls for purity, take his ideas of superiority and racial preeminence and anti-semitism seriously as the evils, the horrors as they are. But the man himself? He literally stank - a combination of his halitosis, chronic flatulence, and was constant diarrhea. [I am not exaggerating] He was a sad pathetic clown, and Andrew Hussie chose to write him as such. He just... went too far. It happens. It’s not good writing. It’s fucking shit, to be honest. Boring shit. The Minions movie decided to have the Minions sit out the entirety of WWII by having them get stuck in a cave or some such. Honestly that’s a better option than what Andrew Hussie went with - and ‘be more like the Minions movie’ isn’t advice I give that often. You want to be disgruntled that an author wrote something this bafflingly tone deaf and tedious? Sure. I know I am. But to chant for his death? Are you fucking kidding me? Look! Look out your window at those marching Neo-Nazis trying to establish a white supremacist state? What the ever-loving fuck are you people doing in here getting ready to string-up a man whose crime was making Adolf Friggen Hitler too petty???????? Tumblr. Tumblr, for the love of god this has to stop. This ‘Ceasar’s wife must be above reproach’ shit has to stop - it’s killing fandom, it’s killing good media critique, it’s burying proportional fan response, and its just exhausting. Why can’t you ever just let something be lousy without it being literal death warrant? There’s real demons out there - I can see them out the window, and every time I turn on the TV. Maybe - just bloody maybe - not every single crime deserves the exact same level of disapprobation and punishment? Maybe we could read some content and say “boy that sure had some lousy implications and also was just really poorly written” and then... stop there? Wouldn’t that be nice, for a change? We could dislike something without feeling like it required activism on our part. We could say ‘this piece of media was shit, but it didn’t advocate for a white ethno-state, so I will continue to think of it only until the end of this sentence.’ I am not advocating for an end to media criticism for anything that isn’t openly hate speech (but if you think that I am I am going to assume you’re already so needlessly enraged about this whole matter that I’m a bit puzzled why you’ve bothered to read this far since its obvious we don’t agree on many fundamental issues.) What I am calling for is the end to death threats against people who don’t mean you harm. Because that’s lunacy. That’s beyond the pale, actually, that’s really disturbing and sickening and you should seriously reconsider your relationship with media. Because there are people out there who do want to hurt you. Their lives are fuelled by hate, their philosophies are driven by it, as are their politics. I assure you that when a time traveller steps through a portal trying to prevent the rise of ‘the great Trump War of 2020′ the inciting incident will not be ‘Andrew Hussie trivialized the holocaust by citing its origins as a grudge Adolf Hitler bore Albert Einstein over a rivalry in secret clown ninja school before being taken on as an agent of a baking-obsessed alien space witch and bumped into power by the Peters principle.’ Because just by writing that sentence I have already reaffirmed a very simple truth: this is way, way too stupid to give the slightest shit about. So let’s tell Andrew Hussie that his new work is... mmm.... kind of like a shit if a shit had a shit that was itself shat out by a shit and then vomited on by another shit who had eaten nothing but shit since Sunday. Let’s tel lhim “hey dude, your clownish work summoned the spectre of anti-semetism, and you can do better.” Frankly, I think that message was already sent, since in the two hours between me going to make and eat dinner and then coming back to my computer, the new material was discovered, read, disseminated, and removed. Two hours. Sure, maybe a bit of lag due to what does and does not hit my feed but come on - this all took place in an afternoon. It’s already down. Our voices were heard - we didn’t think this was very good, and apparently Whatpumpkin agrees enough that they didn’t mount a defence of it. Rather than take the next logical step, though - which seems to be calling for the death of Andrew Hussie and removing all of Homestuck from the internet and maybe nuking Toby Fox from orbit just to be extra-sure? - we could do... something else. Talk about the release date for Stranger Things, maybe. Track down some local Neo-Nazis and punch them. Read some Antony Beevor books and really educate ourselves on what a smelly fuck-up Hitler was so we can chant that at Neo Nazis at their next rally. Or you could watch the New Years Bake-Off special. It was pretty good.

you used caps n your most recent prose i am shook

i know this is a joke but let me tell you that 100% of the time i use caps it’s bc i typed on mobile; i’m so happy you recognize my usual style! 

the truth is (not to get fake deep) when i started this blog i was ... in a bad place. a swallowed place. i was eaten by what haunted me. i churned out piece after piece after piece after piece. a lot were bad. but they needed to be written, ripped out of me. 

i suffer from ocd. i don’t talk about it a lot, because it feels like a silly thing to suffer from. a very Fancy Disorder. ocd is people who fix things to be beautiful. i live in a mess. ocd is pristine, is perfection. i am not either of those things. my ocd supplies me with a lot of terrible commands, and i follow them. they are not “clean it”, they are secret tiny rituals i have to complete. and i can’t tell you what they are because if i tell you (so says the ocd) they won’t work and i’ll have to find a new magic to help me. it also involves self-denial: i used to restrict constantly, on food and life equally, because i genuinely believed that if i didn’t, i’d be the reason for the end of everybody. it’s kind of a big ask when you feel like literally the whole world will end if you ever indulge in anything - and i do mean the whole world ending.

i was undiagnosed at the start of this blog, and struggling in every way a Youth Can Struggle. and i found that one of the things i Had To Do was get rid of capital letters. i never saw it as a pretentious Art Choice; it was because capital letters had this enormous weight to them that belonged to loudness - they felt loud, sharp, heavy in my head. they belonged to people who had something to say, who were exposed teeth instead of a cower. i wanted my words to be quiet. to be the muted whisper that i felt everything at; the numbness, the entropy. a falsehood, easily-overlooked. it also involved having the same letter start a line twice (even now, i dislike it), the number of lines i was allowed to use, and why so many of my freestyle pieces end in a rhyming couplet (i was plagued by poems that didn’t feel “ended”, would lie awake trying to think of a way to “tie” them). lower case became so important to me, so crucial to how i think, that i would struggle writing papers for school because they required the sharp letters of a voice I couldn’t reach.

over time i got help. six years have passed, and you must be wondering: okay, she talks regularly about how much better she is than she used to be. first of all, am i truly better if i have spent six years of my beautiful life on tumblr? the jury is out (what great opportunities it afforded me versus how much time i wasted, scrolling). but the lower case remains actually for a new reason entirely, another thing i don’t talk about because i just feel sad every time i admit it’s happening: i have a neurological problem in my hands. the problem looks and sounds and feels a lot like arthritis, except my brain is doing it, it’s getting worse, and i’m losing control. small shortcuts like no uppercase letters help me save spoons and have the energy to write, because, gosh, it hurts every time i do. yikes! 

today’s a bad hand day. i know it’s because i might have spent my spoons wildly yesterday (i knew i was borrowing them from today), but it still sucks every morning. writing is hard! writing with mental illness is hard! writing with hands like these? that’s the worst part. so please forgive me for how Incredibly Pretentious my Artistic Choice is, i know it’s annoying! i’d be annoyed too! 

but so many people will derail a really important conversation to literally get on my ass about “ugh i want to support this cause but all the lower case letters are KILLING me” like dude chill you’ll live i promise. all the time, my work gets taken less seriously because i need to take this shortcut - it’s “less professional” to write without uppercase, even though my writing tends to be fairly grammatically correct (okay. when i’m trying to do that).

and i don’t mean to make this into a rant, but i am, because i’m in the Artistic Place of only writing Absurdly Long Pieces at this point, but the tl;dr of this was “I had a mental illness which forced this behavior, only to be backed up by a developing physical disability,” and that isn’t to make you feel bad! it’s my way of saying: this is a large reason i think grammar is complete bullshit and tends to be classist, racist, and a whole bunch of other -ists. 

i’m lucky. a lot of people assume it’s just “writer’s choice!” and that i’m doing it because i’m a darkly edgy person. i’m literally doing it to save myself the .000002% of a spoon. and if you don’t know how important that .000002% is, i’m glad! but i know. and i’m in the blessed position of getting away with it a lot of the time, and having it look like style. 

but how many people, i wonder, just get discredited out of hand, because of something they can’t control? 

Can I request the appearance and personality preferences with Aizawa and Hizashi?

| aizawa; headcanons.

appearance;

when it comes to appearance, he doesn’t really care - insofar as physical attraction isn’t necessary to him in a romantic relationship. there’s def stuff that gets him going, things he appreciates that can cause a stifled smoulder in his gut – but an s/o is there for love, in his book.

but, since we are here in the category ‘appearance’,..

it’s in details. the rounded curve of a shoulder as they twist to deal with an incoming punch; that split second when the little ‘v’ from shoulder to pectoral draws tight and ready, just before that sight is stolen as they move on – this readiness to deal with hardship. the solid shove of their back into rubble to keep it off a civilian; resolve and stubborn ability and compassion all in one.fingers carding through hair for it to be pulled out of their face, tied up or just flicked away. focus in the lines of an expression as they pick out what groceries that suit their dinner plans, or any plans at all. the way they make decisions and the way- oh, wait… that’s personality.

looks like aizawa’s more focussed on personality than appearance anyway, if it’s supposed to be attractive.

objectively, he can appreciate a fine pair of calves (fine-tuned by lots of running), or the long sweep of someone’s hair (not very practical, but if they’re able to deal with it then it’ll do). but he doesn’t really prefer anything.

except cats. cats are always good and loved unconditionally. i mean, you have to be a seriously vicious cat for aizawa not to love you.

but humans? ehh. literally why? what’s… the point of preferences… u got a face it’s for emoting and sensing and eating, it works doesn’t it?? u got limbs and if ur missing one you’re probably compensating for it with others, (if the loss troubles you, he’s willing to step in and help u find joy again bc dadzawa does that, albeit discreetly if at all possible). ur digestive system works right?? ur skeleton doin ok??? so it’s fine. ur fine. what more do u fuckin’ need, let this old man rest.

man, woman, anything between or around those. literally doesn’t matter, he doesn’t give two shits. how is that relevant?? is only relevant to u??? the finer labels of ur being aren’t for him cuz he doesn’t care abt labels, nor could he ever be as deeply involved in the hows and whats of u as u can be, ur just u??? cool cool move on.

personality;

spine. oh my god, absolutely spine. 

u can be a coward or a brave man, but at least be that because you have your own, characteristic principles that have you stand by yourself as you are.

some kind of code, certainly, a line drawn in the sand. there have to be things you wouldn’t stand for and would take action to deal with – though for the love of his sanity, don’t be stupid about it. 

he’s… going to need them to be somewhere in the Good alignment. he just - does. not. has no… just, dude. you don’t hurt people just because you have beef with something. solve your goddamn problems without making someone else suffer your pointlessly destructive immaturity.

of course some people don’t know they have better options; fair enough. if you’re willing, he’ll try to help you see and make use of those better options. but he’ll never stand by someone who hurts others for no good reason. never.

proactiveness is greatly appreciated and enjoyed.

aizawa loves when people are socially and emotionally competent (because he’s not), because it makes things go more smoothly. look at him and go ‘you’re not an asshole, you just don’t like to talk and have Strong Opinions’ and let him sleep.that said he can definitely develop a strong attraction to someone as ‘no.’ as he is.

protectiveness and compassion. you don’t have to be a hero or go as far as he does, but he needs someone who understands his deep-seated need to nurture and protect. interesting convos can be had with ppl who feel differently, but he wants understanding in his rom relationships.

wants to just be able to sit and cuddle (cat is not optional cat is Needed), and just. stare out into the distance for a while without letting the world be as much of a bother. 

mutual comfort and compassion, support, respect, and a lot of room for all involved personalities.the mutual part is highkey, because as much as aizawa has like. the dregs of energy lmao – he is all about that nurturing life. he can’t be in a relationship with someone he’s not allowed to care about actively. if you don’t want a mutually supportive and strong bond that goes ‘yeah you’re at your worst now, that’s okay. i’m gonna be at my worst like next week’s wednesday prob lmao’, then aizawa doesn’t want you.

| hizashi; headcanons.

appearance;

he absolutely does love prettiness, but it doesn’t… draw him in. he thought for the longest time that his type was long legs, short skirts, sweet lips – then aizawa grew into his stubble and oh jesus fuck-

i’m not sure hizashi is into ladies at all on levels other than platonic and aesthetic, but he doesn’t consider it ever so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who needs labels anyway.

he likes ‘em edgy. good lord let’s be real - hizashi loves dat edge. scruffiness, angular, dark hair, dark clothes, the contrast between pale skin and dark hair, some kinda non-conformist hairdo ( which, for dudes, can be as simple as long ).executive goth? punkgoth? casual goth?

he doesn’t really enjoy make-up. just nah. he likes to know what he’s looking at, likes to know if he reached out there’d be naked skin under his fingertips…

it’s nice if they shorter than him - taller people are giants, have u seen hizashi himself - but the best is equal height cuz then you can just face boop.yes, face boop. just - put ur face straight up against theirs. boop~!

ehrem.

long hair, idle fingers, twirly fabric, a surplus of buttons - anything for him to fidget or stim with is a definite plus.

defined calves are…… attractive….. thicc thighs make him the good kind of concerned for his well-being. he likes the places where bone shows - knees, elbows, knuckles, the bump on your wrist. it’s just very pretty to him and he loves tracing these edges over and over ehrem stimming ehrem.

are u fat? chubby? skinny? somewhere in between? good shit.

personality;

huggy. it’s okay if you’re just the kind to let him hug u, but at least in private he needs dat good ol’fashioned physical affection. huggy. much an’ many huggies.

caring, loving, nurturing. he adores gestures of affection, the more unabashed the better. although that’s mostly bc people’s discomfort makes him unhappy.

domestic. please. he’s a domestic kinda guy lookin’ for a domestic kinda life -- hero work is hectic enough, thanks. the simple old fashioned pleasures of coming home to make yourself a hot drink and sink into that seat you’ve worn a dent into. ready, silent hugs. fingers through hair. the absent petting here and there while ur deep in a book or tv show or thesis.just warm, reliable love.

hizashi is the absolute last person to care for a fling or skinny love. he prefers to have sex with sex workers or friends and foregoes hook-ups with strangers. here too it’s cameraderie, friendship - warm, reliable love.

please love his friends. they’re all one big happy family and he’s dying to include you; it’s cool if you don’t get along!! ...sad, but chill. not everyone clicks.still, though. he does need someone who’d be willing to make an effort.

he... loves.. sexiness. basically this means you’re comfortable propositioning him - not that you’re not/never shy! - that you enjoy chatting about sex and just. have a good ol’ time with it. this again bc ppl’s discomfort = sad hizashi, but also bc he just fucking loves sex. it’s nice! it’s fun! it’s a cute topic and way to get to know each other.