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#don't mind me just being a babbling ball of emotions right now
ghostofscarley · 2 years
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Enchanted
Fred Weasley x Reader
Inspired by the movie 'Enchanted'
Taglist: @wolfstardaughter-jj @dayangestre @cobrakaisb @emso12 @wixabear @robincantfunction @lilyswh0re @dracosluvbot
word count: 8.7k
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"you're practically gaping at her mate, subtle much," fred muttered as he glanced at harry who was staring at the fifth year ravenclaw, cho chang, mindlessly as she giggled with her friends, "so much for wanting to keep my lunch down. mate, before you lose anymore pumpkin juice, you'd have more luck going over and talking to her-"
"oh, leave him alone fred," rolling her eyes, y/n gave back the rolled up newspaper to a glaring hermione granger after having smacked the ginger boy on the back of his head, "he is however, miraculously, right in a sorts though harry. you really should talk to her."
"ugh! look at this! i don't believe it, she's done it again. miss granger, a plain but ambitious girl, seems to be developing a taste for famous wizards. her latest prey, sources report, is none other than the bulgarian bon-bon viktor krum. no word yet on how harry potter's taking this latest emotional blow," glaring now at the newspaper article, hermione slams it onto the table, almost knocking over her own goblet of pumpkin juice in the process, "i mean who does she think she is? i can tell you right now, harry seems to be doing just fine."
shaking his head, as if he had been in a trance, harry looked towards his fury-filled friends is confusion
"i wouldn't mind her, mione. you know how that hag of a woman is," shaking her head at the clueless chosen one before turning to in a sympathetic manner to comfort her bushy-haired friend, "the lengths she'd go and the people she'd shine a false light on for the sake of fame and attention. such a bitch."
groaning, fred slid over to his best friend, not so subtly stretching an arm around her shoulder, pulling the girl closer, and unbeknownst to the ginger, causing a certain hue of rosy red to spread across the said girl's cheeks
"such a dirty mouth. to what do i owe the honours of being allowed to be within the presence of that mouth?" winking with a sly grin, blowing a single strand out of his eyes and angling his head to get a better look at the girl, he asks, "is the one and only y/n y/l/n blushing because of little, ol' frederick weasley? you flatter me."
huffing, y/n shrugged off the older twins arm that was draped across her shoulders, sending a scowl his way as she crossed her arms
"you wish freddie, and don't say shit like that. weirdo."
"well maybe if someone stopped swearing then-"
"i'm not wearing that, it's ghastly."
hearing this, both y/n and fred looked over to the two youngest weasleys, one of which were holding what looked like old rags of spare lace sewn together, before hermione laughed
"they're not for ginny. they're for you! dress robes."
upon saying this, the friend group all broke into laughter whilst ron's face fell
"dress robes? for what?"
to this, y/n and fred, having calmed down from the fits of laughter at the situation for the younger weasley male, turned to each other, a look of confusion now adorning their faces
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"the yule ball has been a tradition of the triwizard tournament since its inception. on christmas eve night we and our guests gather in the great hall for well mannered frivolity. as representitives of the host school i expect each and every one of you to put your best foot forward, and i mean this literally because the yule ball is first and foremost... a dance." groans emerge from the boys who are listening on. the girls seem a lot more excited, "silence. the house of godric gryffindor has commanded the respect of the wizard world for nearly ten centuries. i will not have you in the course of a single evening besmirching that name by behaving like a babbling, bumbling band of baboons."
y/n sent a quick glance to where harry, fred and george were standing only to see the twins murmuring to themselves and thus she shook her head, knowing that it was nothing serious before focusing back on mcgonagall
"now to dance is to let the body breathe. inside every girl, a secret swan slumbers longing to burst forth and take flight and inside," upon hearing whispers, she turns to glare at ron, "every boy a lordly lion prepared to prance, mr weasley, will you join me?  now, place your right hand on my waist."
embarrassed and a little befuddled, ron almost mutters
"where?"
impatient, the woman moves to correct the placement of ron's very much awkward placing of his arm
"my waist," the woman states firmly, before the music starts up and the professors leads them into a waltz, inviting others to join
upon the invitation, the girls rushed to stand, only for the boys to remain seated, awkward, some even scratching at the back of their necks
with a smirk, fred walks over to y/n, who had previously been in a conversation with her friend and fellow quidditch team mate, katie bell, when she saw an approaching body out of the corner of her eye, before turning to see fred offering his hand out to her
"if you will, m'lady."
nudging the girl with a giggle, katie pushed her friend out of her seating position and into the arms of the cheeky ginger, winking at the girl before turning to find her own partner
"real smooth, weasley," she stated, placing one hand into his before raising her other arm to rest it on his, "'m'lady', huh? that's a new one. what book did you stumble upon to get that one? oh who am i kidding, you'd never pick up a book. willingly."
"oh ha ha, you're so funny. much laughter. such a comedian," the hand that rested on her waist began to poke slightly at her after her cheeky comment, twirling her and bringing her back into his chest now, "i'll have you know that i didn't find it. i just heard it was all. in one of those silly muggle movies that you love."
"they are not silly," she scoffed, moving her hand to slap the back of his head only for him to grab it and keep a firm grasp on it instead, the familiar heat spreading across her face, "they are romantic. not that you'd know."
"what's that supposed to mean? i'm so romantic i'd knock your socks off with how chivalrous and charming i am."
the girl couldn't keep a straight face at what the boy had said, immediately breaking out into a boisterous cackle which attracted many fellow gryffindors though the girl didn't care. the boy didn't either, a small smile then growing rather large at the sound
"oh freddie, now who's the comedian?" sighing, she moved, well tried, to rest her right cheek on his shoulder, which was now hunched to aid her due to the distinct height difference, "i can't wait. i mean, an actual ball, are you kidding? hogwarts is already magical on its own. can you imagine how wondrous it'll be?"
"oh, do you already have someone in mind as to who you'll take? my, my. and whom is it that has piqued y/n y/l/n's interest?" he nudged at her, wiggling his eyebrows as chuckled at the rosy red cheeks, "it wouldn't happen to be someone i know, would it?"
"what's it to you?" burying her face deeper into his neck, her voice came out as a murmur, "maybe i have found someone i hope will sweep me off my feet."
though the girl couldn't see it, fred's face dropped, after a wave of shock, not expecting what she said
"oh. well that's good," he shrugged, the movement pulling y/n out of her trance, and out of his neck, "can only imagine how wonderful he is. only the best for you."
"yeah," she said, a look of serenity taking over her face as she thought about the boy that was standing in front of her, "he is pretty wonderful."
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"this is mad. at this rate we'll be the only ones in our year without dates. well, us and neville," ron uttered, sharing a chuckle with harry whilst y/n, who was across the table next to fred shared a look of displeasure with hermione, "then again, he can take himself."
before y/n could reply to the younger weasley, hermione had beaten her to it
"how sweet. but it might interest you two to know that neville's already got someone."
a smirk growing, the older gryffindor girl knew that she no longer had to say anything
"well now I'm really depressed."
ron's shoulders drop as his lips form a pout
hearing quick scribbles, y/n turned to read what fred had written before he scrunched it up and threw it at his brother
'get a move on or all the good ones will have gone'
to this, ron looks up from the parchment before turning to his older brother
"who are you going with then?"
fred turned to y/n, who was sat on his right, sharing a smile, as she let out a small giggle, wiggling his eye brows, before turning and throwing a piece of scrunched up parchment at angelina johnson
y/n could only feel her smile drop, her eyes gloss, and the rosy hues fade as she watched the boy next to her whisper at the girl. a girl that wasn't her
"oi! angelina!" acting out dancing movements, he then continued to ask, "do you, want to go, to the ball, with me?"
with a smile growing on her face, angelina turned so her whole body was facing him before resting her head on her hand with a dreamy look
"yeah. yeah, i want to go."
y/n could only see fred wink at ron before she quickly packed all her things and rushed to hand her book to snape, alarming the others as they all watched the girl scamper off, not wanting them to see the tears that had now escaped, her heart broken
"what's wrong with her?" ron could only ask though he got shrugs from both fred and hermione, "well, anyway."
fred could only drown out his brother's words as he watched the girl practically run put of the great hall, before he heard a book slam and turned to witness hermione leaving as well, sending a final glare to his little brother
"girls."
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the small sniffles from the gryffindor girl, with the occasional break of an audible sob were all that could be heard that wintry evening as the rebounded off the walls of what she thought was an empty corridor, void of students
"y/n? is that you?" the soft voice came from around the corner from where she was sat, the owner of the voice stepping out into the open corridor to reveal adrian pucey, chaser of the slytherin quidditch team and a total heartthrob, his face softening as he looked at the upset girl in front of him, "are you ok? what happened?"
she made quick eye contact with the boy before she hurriedly brushed away her tears, rubbing at her eyes and glancing down as she shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, not wanting to look at him again
not wanting to seem vulnerable or weak in front of him
"come on," nodding his head to the side, he waited with his hand held out, "let's go for a walk. i promise it won't be a bore. i'm a pretty fun person."
looking from his eyes back to his outstretched hand and then his eyes again and seeing nothing but kindness and warmth in his irises, the girl huffed a little before placing her hand in his, allowing him to pull her up from her seated position
not saying anything for a few moments, the pair walked, hands still in each other's, taking in the sights of the school, the blanket of white coating every inch that was exposed, small, icy flakes fluttering and falling, both from the sky and the branches of trees that had collected hefty amounts
"so, mind telling me what's up?" adrian spoke out, filling the otherwise silent air before freezing up a bit, turning to the girl frantically, "not that you should feel obligated to tell me, if it's something you wish to keep to yourself then i won't pester you about it. but. i am here if you do need to talk."
"you make it seem a lot more... serious than it is, i guess," she responded, wanting to reassure the boy whilst feeling idiotic herself, then scoffing and shaking her head, "i mean, who cries because they watched their crush ask out another person to this really extravagant ball that's coming up? stupid, right?"
now frowning, the slytherin boy turns towards her, shaking his head
"y/n. that is a valid reason to be upset. it's not stupid at all. well, i guess it's their loss."
shaking her head as more tears welled up, she stopped their walk, removing her hand from his grasp before facing him and placing both of them on his shoulder
"it's not stupid at all," he all but uttered, not wanting to scare or upset the girl any further by his usually confident and loud voice, "it's rather valid you know. but anyone would be a blind idiot to not take you."
her crying came to a halt as a look of self doubt lingered in her eyes
"no, adrian. you don't understand. the girl is like. stupid gorgeous. like, her eyes are doe like, you could easily get lost in them. her skin is ridiculously smooth and clear, free of blemishes and pimples and blackheads, not to mention the tone of colour. her hair, looks alone, is so silky and it blows freely in the wind, never a single strand out of place. she's a bloody chaser on the quidditch team so that's a factor alone. her laugh is airy and fucking perfect. her smile is so warm and dreamy and captivating. she's not too short but not too tall. angelina johnson," taking a breath, the girl could feel her senses cloud, losing sight and touch, looking aimlessly past the boy, "she's so fucking perfect and. i'm just. me. i don't even know why i thought i had a chance. but the way he looked at me, smiled at me, with that stupid boyish grin he always wears. i was so sure it would happen. and then it didn't. i was stupid to think fred weasley, the class clown, would ask me to the ball when someone like angelina johnson roams the very same halls. it seems so bitchy to say that too because she's so kind. always the sweetest thing to me and here i am being the grouchiest person ever."
"then go with me," he asked, no stated firmly and without a doubt, "i won't let you downplay yourself like that, comparing yourself to someone who is just another girl. who isn't all that. and that's not because i'm biased or partial as your friend. she may be beautiful, but you radiate beauty. and i won't let you continue to bottle up these thoughts that you hold against yourself when they aren't true. so, i am asking you to go to the yule ball with me, as my date."
"oh ade, i, i can't. i just, i don't want a pity date. just because the guy i wanted to go with asked someone else."
instead of arguing, because him asking her wasn't out of pity, adrian held out his hand to her, waiting until she eventually took it, though not without a look of confusion before he cleared his throat, taking her down the corridor
in a horrible, posh british accent, like more posh than his usual accent, he sang out loud, his voice echoing off of the walls for all to hear
"hee hee"
"ade, what are you doing?"
"my baby's always danCInG, and iT WouLdN't be a bAd tHiNG. BUt i doN't geT nO lovInG, aNd thAt'S nO LiE"
quickening her pace to match his, she couldn’t help but smile, forgetting what had happened in the great hall not too long, spinning whenever he motioned for her to, seeing others who were now exiting the great hall watch on, curious
"ade-"
"wE sPenT thE nIGhT in fRisCo, aT evEry kiNdA diScO. fRoM thAt nIghT i kIsSed oUr lOvE gOodByE."
out of the corner of her eye, she could she a flash of ginger hair, though she wasn't given more time to wonder about who it was before she was dipped and she let out the loudest cackle
"ADRIAN-"
"dOn't bLAmE iT on tHe sUNsHinE, DOn'T bLamE It on thE mOoNlIGhT, dON't bLAme It oN ThE gOoD tiMeS. bLAmE iT on thE boOgie."
doing one more spin, the boy left the girl in the middle of the corridor before skipping and spinning and prancing circles around her, her smile growing and lighting up the otherwise darkening hall as the sun set
"i jUSt cAn't, i JuST caN't, I jUsT cAn'T cOnTrol mY feET. i jUSt cAn't, i JuST caN't, I jUsT cAn'T cOnTrol mY feET."
now out of breath, the boy dropped onto both knees, gesturing for her hands and asking once more
"i hope that wasn't too embarrassing for you," he chuckles, taking in deep breaths, the musical break out doing more numbers on him than his weekly quidditch practices, "so, i'll ask again. will you, y/n y/l/n, chaser of the gryffindor quidditch team and total heartthrob, accompany myself, adrian pucey, chaser of the slytherin quidditch team and also total heartthrob, to the yule ball? i can't promise i'll be as 'extravagant' as i was in this moment, but i'll be the best damn date you could ever wish for."
"well, i mean i don't know, i-" dragging on her words, she looked down at the boy to see his confident grin faltering and she knew she couldn't continue to play along, "of course i will ade. how could i say no after that?"
breathing out a sigh of relief, he went to wrap his arms around her before realising he was still on his knees, getting up and then embracing the girl who was no longer teary eyed and instead glowing, radiating warmth and happiness
whilst most onlookers were applauding the 'proposal' they had witnessed between the two chasers, a certain ginger beater, who was watching from behind pillar, was green with envy, shaking his head before walking off to find george
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it was christmas night. the night of the yule ball and y/n finds herself in hermione's dorm room, getting ready with said girl and the youngest weasley
"ok but can we talk about that proposal again and how cute it was," ginny exclaimed, grabbing onto the oldest girl's hand and twirling, though almost falling due to the wedges that adorned her feet, "i mean. i always saw you two together so i knew he was friendly but. the singing, the dancing, the 'falling onto his knees'. it was so romantic."
"ah, gin," the girl, though smiling, shook her head slightly, straightening up her younger friend, "it was cute, but i just don't see adrian like that. he's just a good friend."
"y/n, y/n, y/n. did you not see the way he looked at you? it was practically heart-eyes. he adores you. he had this soft smile on his face and his eyes glowed. it was like you had hung, no, handpicked the moon and the stars for him. he was enamoured."
"adrian is aromantic, gin. i can assure you he doesn't like me like that. besides, though he's my date, i've always had my eye on someone. the feelings just don't seem to be reciprocated."
ginny's smile faltered as she looked at her friend who was gazing down, twiddling her fingers
"if you're talking about my git of a brother," she held up a finger to the girl, whose mouth was slightly ajar, as if she were to ask 'which brother' "and before you get smart, i'm talking about fred. you're clearly not as smart as i thought you were if you think for a second that he doesn't like you. he's constantly talking about you and whatever you've done that was just 'oustanding' or 'astronomical' when you aren't around.. and then where you are around, he needs to be touching you in some way. if i thought adrian was enamoured with you, fred is gobsmacked, drop dead, head over heels, in love with you."
"then why didn't he ask me to the ball, gin? why did he ask angelina? and why did he do it in front of me? no, it doesn't matter. i don't think i have the right to ask that. just... clearly, whatever feelings he did feel.. aren't there," she looked over to the clock in the room before turning to the bed that had her dress hanging just above it, "come on. we've got just under two hours before the ball, and i would like to do your hair. your dress is beautiful by the way."
"well i know, and yes i understood, adrian does not like you and you do not like him and it's all platonic, but i just know he's gonna be blown away with how gorgeous you'll look. i mean the satin and the deepness of the green, which honestly suits you. even if he wore his house tie, it would still match your dress. you'd look hot as a slytherin. too bad you're too much of a lion to be a snake. platonic or not, this is still gonna be as much of a date as any other date you've been on or could go on. and don't look at me like that, enjoy your night with adrian. you deserve it."
before y/n could respond to the girl after having braided and pinned up her ginger hair into a half up/half down style, hermione's voice echoed from the bathroom
"y/n, could you please help me with my hair?"
"don't think for a second that i'm done with you gin, just give me a few minutes. i've got a choice of words with you."
"ah, would you look at the time. i think neville is downstairs waiting for me. see you soon."
"gin- GINERVA," before y/n could say the girl's full name, she had sped out of the dorm room, leaving the older girl to shake her head and huff, "i'm gonna kill her."
quickly slipping in her own dress, she then knocked on the bathroom door before opening it, to see a nervous hermione granger in a beautiful periwinkle dress that complimented the soft brown of her eyes
"and what is it that i will be doing with your hair tonight, miss?" she asked in a horrible mock posh accent, "would you care to flip through our catalogue? i personally love style 3."
"i was actually wondering if you could help me curl it and then pin it back, i don't want to do too much with it," she requests, finally looking over to her friend before gasping slightly, "the dress is absolutely gorgeous on you, y/n. adrian won't know what hit him. if we didn't already have dates, i'd take you myself. save me a dance, perhaps?"
"oh, of course, kind lady. it would be an honour to get the opportunity to dance with you at this regal ball," she continued with her horrible accent, whilst casting a charm to curl hermione's hair, going to speak again but losing the accent, her tone sincere, "you look beautiful, mione. i just know viktor won't be able to keep his eyes off you. and i mean, i wouldn't blame him. i wouldn't want to look away from you either. you really did a wonderful job at picking the dress. should i ever get married, obviously as one of my bridesmaids, or even maid of honour, i'd have you pick out the dresses without a doubt. ok, all done. what do you think?"
"oh, y/n," before y/n could say anything, hermione threw her arms around her, "it's absolutely beautiful, thank you. ok, take a seat and i'll do your hair and your make up if you'd like. not that you'd need any. your natural beauty alone would blow the minds of the whole school, hogwarts, beauxbatons and durmstrang. veela's have nothing on you."
"granger, you flatter me. surprise me will you? i don't really have anything in mind so go at it however you see fit. and maybe just a clear gloss. that way, i can get absolutely hammered and not worry about having to remove a full face of make up."
at the request, hermione spun the girl so that she was no longer facing the mirror, taking the still charmed wand and curling her hair back to resemble that of beach waves, keeping it soft and light, not overdone, before parting her hair, braiding the top half of the two section before tying it off into two separate ponytails that sat on the top of her head, similar to a half up/half down style. she then applied a coat of clear gloss as requested, as well as a light coat of mascara to really accentuate her eyes, before spinning her again, ready for the reveal.
"i'd like to see adrian try and take his eyes away from you. it'd be with great difficulty, i'll tell you that much. you'll easily be the prettiest girl at the ball."
"oh, mione, you can't say that when you'll be there. if i'm gorgeous, you're absolutely stunning. i honestly am envious that viktor is taking you. though i'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. don't hide away too much, yeah? i will be getting that dance," she then hugged the younger girl, careful as to not wrinkle either dress or ruin either hairstyle, "thank you for this. i don't think i've ever felt this pretty. who needs a beauty team? i just need you, my girl. let's go blow everyone away, yeah?"
"let's do it."
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walking down to the great hall, the duo heard gasps and saw looks of awe as they turned heads. y/n saw the youngest weasley standing with neville and her own date before looking around, her eyes settling on a cleaned up fred weasley who looked as handsome as ever. he seemed to have found her too, meeting her gaze
she wanted to smile bashfully and wave at the boy she considered her best friend before she saw the girl whose arm was linked with his. the girl that was hanging off of him. and she removed her gaze from him, keeping the small smile as she looked over to adrian, who was returning the smile as he met her gaze, walking over to meet her at the foot of the staircase
"i'll see you around, mione. blow them all away."
the girls hugged a final time before separating to move to their respective dates
"wow, y/l/n. you look incredible. didn't take you to be much of a green girl but it really does suit you. maybe you should've been sorted into slytherin, would've fit right in."
"mm, i don't think so. too many snakes for me to handle. i'm happy with my little pride of lions. must admit, you do look quite incredible yourself. very handsome. i very much like that your tie matches my dress. you wouldn't have asked one of my friends about the colour, would you?"
"whaat? me? never. that does not sound like me at all. but yes. yes i did. reckon we'll make quite the couple. turning heads left, right and centre."
"maybe i should have worn a burgundy. once in a lifetime opportunity to see you in red. reckon you'd look quite ravishing i suppose."
"maybe not so much. wouldn't want to make a fool of myself. at least you can pull off any colour, miss head-turner. shall we make our way inside now?"
"we shall. lead the way, mr head-turner."
from the other side of the hallway
fred was standing just outside the entrance of the great hall, in a group that consisted of himself and his date, angelina, george and his date, alicia spinnet, and lee and his date, patricia stimpson, when the three girls turned to the staircase to see who was making their way down and gasped
"look at our girl, ang. she looks amazing," exclaimed alicia, pulling george with her towards the girl, though george stopped her, "why are we stopping?"
"the girl still needs to find her date, ali. we'll see her inside, alright?"
the girl pouted slightly before nodding and returning her gaze to their third chaser
"did you guys see pucey's proposal to her? it was so romantic and she looked so happy. if i'm being honest though, i thought you'd ask her freddie. especially after that dance practice a few weeks ago. but you have to admit, she and pucey make quite the cute couple. it had to have been the talk of the school. one of our chasers with slytherin's chaser and heartthrob, adrian pucey. i mean she was left smiling hours after. sure, he can't sing to save his life, but it was adorable. the way he got on his knees and grapsed onto her. the way he spun her. her cackle! i don't think i've seen her so hap-" angelina was cut off mid-sentence
"can we stop talking about how cute pucey and y/l/n would be? this isn't about them."
"woah, what's wrong with you? besides it's the truth isn't it? isn't she your best friend? you'd think you'd be happy for her?"
"she can be with pucey for all i care. he's bloody perfect for her, isn't he?" fred sneered, moving his gaze to look at the girl, his glare dropping as he saw that her eyes met his before she turned away, "i just want the best for her. that's all."
george could only smirk, wanting to slap the back of his twin's head but refraining and he rested his arm around alicia
"it seems to me like your jealous, freddie."
fred could only scoff, his glare returning and focusing on his brother
"shove off. whatever, let's just go inside." he suggested as he saw the girl he longed for enter the great hall with her date
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looking around the now wintry filled hall, y/n couldn't help but gasp, her grasp around adrian's arm tightening
just when you thought the school couldn't get anymore magical
"oh, ade it's wonderful. it's so magical."
"i'm afraid that's to be expected in a school of witchcraft and wizardry, my dear. thought you knew that. this'll shock you. we also have wands each that produce spells and charms. just as magical."
rolling her eyes but smiling nonetheless, she lightly shoved the boy before looping her arm through his once more
"shut up, smart arse, you know what i mean."
"i do. but i must say, it's got nothing on you and your beauty. really did me dirty because now i have to fend off the whole school. it'd be considered lucky if i'm 436th in the line of 947. you really have charmed the school, y/l/n."
"you flatter me. look, here come the champions? ugh, my mione is so gorgeous. booked myself a dance with her, i did. luckiest girl in the world i consider myself to be."
"well i guess i'm 437th in the line now. i hope you're ready for your feet to be aching."
"oh stop it ade. if anything, you're 537th. no, i probably won't dance with that many people, to be completely honest. you, mione, ginny, luna, maybe george if i can catch a word with alicia. oh my goodness. look at fleur. she's absolutely stunning."
"again. i mean, yeah she's pretty. but looking at the girl on my arm, she's nothing but a caterpillar next to the butterfly that is you. don't tell her that though. she might send the whole of beauxbatons on my ass and i'd like to be around long enough to walk you back to your common room."
"you're such a flirt. might wanna watch out before i start to believe less and less that you're aromantic."
"why? is the infamous y/n y/l/n scared to fall in love with the handsome, dashing, charming, endearing, loving, kind and caring adrian pucey?"
"not to mention cocky and the lack of humbleness. but no. in fact it's quite the opposite. wouldn't want to break your heart when you inevitably fall in love with me, ade."
"oh because it will hurt for sure. thank you for watching out for my heart," he chuckled, grasping his chest, as if to reinforce the protection he holds over his heart, "i just want to give you the full experience as my date. that includes the corny compliments, horrible jokes and puns and of course my amazing dancing skills. so, what do you say? we go spike the punch, have a few glasses and then hit the dance floor and show everyone what we're made of? not enough to be absolutely wasted, but enough to allow you to feel the rush, enough to be tipsy, enough for you to sober up easily after a couple songs."
"let's do it."
5 minutes later
the dances of the champions has concluded and now other couples are invited to occupy the vast dance room
y/n and adrian, three glasses of spiked punch layer, were just a little tipsy, feeling the rush of the alcohol but were stable enough to find each other's touch and guided the other to the dance floor as a familiar song began to play
something told me it was over
when i saw you and her talking
something deep down in my soul said "cry girl"
when i saw you and that girl walking around
swaying together, the pair moved closer, the warmth welcoming both of them, something nice about being able hold each other like this, whilst knowing that the only thing that would come out of tonight would be a closer friendship
"i love this song. the lyrics tell such a sad story but etta james just captures the feelings that should be portrayed so beautifully. the fact that she'd want to lose her sense of sight than to have to watch the man she's in love with push her to the side as he pursues another."
i would rather, i would rather be blind
than to see you walk away
so you see, i love you so much
that i don't wanna watch you leave me
"the song is rather sad. i must say though. i wouldn't want to go blind when i have you in front of me, dazzling the whole school."
"and so the corny puns start, huh? do your worst, pucey."
"oh darling, don't worry. i plan to."
when the reflection in the glass
that i held to my lips now
revealed the tears that are all on my face
baby i'd rather be blind
than to see you walk away from me
the song then ended, though the pair continue to sway, seemingly lost in their own world as another fan favourite began to play, y/n removing her head from adrian's shoulder to better appreciate the abba song, if you will, grasping the hand that rested on her hand to manoeuvre him around, matching the tempo the upbeat song
you can dance
you can jive
having the time of your life
see that girl
watch that scene
digging the dancing queen
"i swear this song is like every teenage girl's 'anthem', i guess you could call it. i heard this song a lot growing up. mum loved it."
the two would spin each other, the previous stance during the slower dance gone as they were laughing loudly together. they were sure to remember this night for the rest of their lives
anybody could be that guy
night is young and the music's high
with a bit of rock music
everything is fine
you're in the mood for a dance
and when you get the chance
"dad always found mum's taste in music a little weird, being a muggle and all, but he loved her and her weird little quirks so much. he loved how happy she got whenever the song would play, so he always played it any chance he got."
"was wondering who you inherited your quirkiness from. figured it was something you picked up on your own. seems that isn't the case."
slapping his chest lightly, she threw her head back, laughing
"oi! how rude. some gentleman you are, ade. feeling real flattered right now. like gosh, i might faint. falling head over heels."
"oh shush."
you are the dancing queen
young and sweet
only seventeen
dancing queen
feel the beat of the tambourine
"i didn't think i'd have this much fun if i'm being honest," y/n laughed as they continued to mindlessly jump and twirl around together, knowing that others were watching, and that they'd probably look at the two weirdly for their assortment of strange dance moves, "but i'm so glad i'm here with you tonight, ade. the evening has been absolutely wonderful."
"your mother was a muggle, right?"
"yes? why?"
"just had to be sure. do you know if she ever went to those muggle balls that they hold in movies? prom was it?"
"i didn't know you watched muggle films," she glanced over to the boy who was now bashful, sporting a small smile, "but uh, no. prom is an american event. mum, however, did go to a formal. who she went with, i wouldn't know. i just know it wasn't dad. she met him a good 5 years after she finished school."
"well, i saw that proms often crown for prom king and queen. if you ask me, who needs a prom queen when i have my dancing queen right in front of me."
she cackled once again, wanting to slap his chest yet again but deciding against it and instead fixing up his tie which had been a little lopsided
"you really are something, you know that."
"i think they have one more upbeat song before they play a final slow song, so what you say we have a few more glasses and sober up before the last dance."
another three glasses later and the second last song began to ring out through the hall
i've got sunshine on a cloudy day
when it's cold outside
i've got the month of may
"this song just makes me so happy. it was my parents wedding song. mum grew up with it and she introduced dad to the song after their second date. dad's loved it ever since. would always sing it to her. it makes me feel warm."
i guess
you'd say
what can make me feel this way
my girl
talking 'bout my girl
"i wish i grew up on songs like these. they just seem so nostalgic even though i'm hearing them for the first time tonight."
"ade, you're joking? you cannot be serious. this is urgent. every time we hang out, no matter what, i will play one song. this just isn't acceptable. i refuse to believe it."
i've got so much honey
the bees envy me
i've got a sweeter song
than the birds in the trees
"what do you say y/l/n? reckon my singing the other week was sweeter than the birds that roam hogwarts?"
"that was singing? well, sweet isn't the first word that comes to mind."
"oi, you should be grateful. i don't give out thise performances for free. only on special occasions. it was a moment to remember forever."
whilst the two swayed and the girl sang to the boy, a ginger haired, sulking, teenage boy was staring off at them from his seated position
"you're staring. the song is about to end freddie, just ask her. i'm sure adrian won't mind. everyone knows you're her best friend."
"why would she want to dance with me, ang? she looks quite content with pucey. what's the point?"
"it's just one dance, fred. besides, you've been frowning all night and that's not like you, it's weird."
"quite the date i am huh? sorry. you would've been better off with harry and he's just as much of a lousy date as i am. at least his date got a dance."
"it's alright. i still got a few dances with alicia and you know i've had my eye on roger davis. got a dance with him so i'd say my night was pretty successful."
"that makes one of us."
suddenly, before the final song was to commence, dumbledore had a final announcement to make
"the yule ball is coming to a close and so i must announce before the final dance that there is to be a change in scene. i ask that you gentlemen or women invite another to the dance floor that he or she did not accompany to the ball."
"see, there's your chance fred. take it."
"if anything, she'd probably want to dance with geor-"
"FRED WEASLEY YOU GO OVER TO THAT GIRL AND YOU ASK HER TO DANCE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I ASK FOR YOU MYSELF! i am sick of your pity party of despair and loneliness. just go for it."
he could only sigh as he stood up from the seat he had been sat in for the last 2 hours, making his way over to the pair, though lord knows his heart was 2 seconds away from pounding violently through his ribcage and out of his chest
whilst fred made his way over, the two were still away in their own world, wanting the moment to last just a little longer
"was hoping i'd get my last dance with you. i've had so much fun tonight and i don't want it to end."
"i've had a lot of fun too. was quite the experience having the prettiest girl in hogwarts wrapped in my arms, swaying to muggle misic. who would have thought. i think i might sit this one out. i don't see myself dancing with anyone else that isn't you."
"are you sure you're aromantic, ade? like, straight up? 100%?"
though he knew she meant nothing by it, he still laughed lightly and hugged her before pulling away so they were both at arms distance
"straight up. if i wasn't, i would have been kissing the hell out of you. i can assure you i feel no romantic feelings. even after having you in my embrace for the last 2 hours, it's nothing but platonic. i just don't see anything happening. that, and i can see a certain ginger making his way over and i don't fancy getting kocked out right now. so, after the dance, i'll meet you and escort you to your common room to see you off."
looking to her right slightly, her heartbeat quickens as she sees a hurried fred weasley making his way over before she turns back to adrian
"are you sure? i could just sit with you?"
"i'm sure. i'll just sit with miles. poor bloke was rejected so he's been sat at the table, drinking. reckon i should go over before he dies of alcohol poisoning because trust me, he will find a way. besides, i think someone wants to dance with you. about time if you ask me."
and with that, adrian placed a final kiss on her forehead before he walked away, sending a last wink towards her before turning and not looking back
she could only watch his retreating back for a moment longer before she felt a tap on her shoulder
feeling like her chest was about to explode, she took a slow, deep breath before turning to see the boy who, after the weeks that went by with distance between them, still had her heart
"hi? um, you look.. good?" his face furrowed, slightly frowning as he shook his head, "i mean, obviously you look better than good. amazing, incredible, gorgeous, spectacular. all eyes were on you tonight and reasonably so. the dark green really stood out against your skin. you and pu- adrian really blew the whole school away. it was really cute. anyway, it was nice talking to yo-"
"fred, do you want to dance with me?"
here she was with her heart on her sleeves as she awaited his answer. fred was flabbergasted
"i- me?"
"i mean, no one else is around," she said as she gestured to the empty space around her, "what do you say, freddie? for old times sake? accompany me for the final dance?"
"how could i say no?"
she let out a breath of relief as she took the hand that was held out to her, a small smile growing on her face as she felt warm
dumbledore moved to the centre of the stage a final time
"now, please join me in welcoming mr jon mclaughlin who has warmly agreed to sing our final song for the evening. mr mclaughlin, the stage is yours."
a light piano echoes through the hall as y/n gazes into fred's eyes, something she hasn't done for a while, something she has missed
she missed her freddie and she finally had him back in her arms and she was reluctant to let go
you're in my arms
and all the world is gone
the music playing on for only two
she wanted to say something, anything. she wanted nothing more than to catch up with the boy in front of her but nothing came to mind
so she just held on tighter, resting her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as they swayed in time, the rest of the world beginning to fade out as they lost themselves to the music and the soft voice of mr mclaughlin
so close
together
and when i'm with you
so close to feeling alive
he too had a lot on his mind. like how effortlessly perfect she was. from the way her eyes shone as the fire of the floating candles reflected off of them. how her cheeks now adorned its usual rosy hues. how in love he was with her
"you really are beautiful, love."
a life goes by
romantic dreams must die
so i bid mine goodbye
and never knew
"thank you, freddie. i must say, you look quite swell yourself."
"ah, you know. i just pulled this little getup from out of my trunk. curled my hair a little, though it's nothing compared to you. i never thought i'd love seeing you in green so much."
she couldn't help but lean closer, wanting to be as close to the boy as possible
"so, you and pucey, huh? when did that become a thing?"
"adrian?"
"is there another pucey running around that i don't know about?"
y/n could only scoff, though it was light-hearted
"smart arse. there isn't a thing. we're just friends. freddie, i don't want to talk about adrian. just. dance with me."
so close
was waiting
waiting here for you
and now forever i know
all that i want is
to hold you
so close
she rested her head on his shoulder, with a little struggle but she got there and and shared a look with angelina, who only winked at the girl. similarly, fred, who now turned was facing adrian who could only raise his drink in acknowledgement, smiling, and seeming to have mouthed the words, 'well done weasley', to which fred just shook his head, the smile never leaving his face
so close
to reaching that famous happy end
almost believing this one's not pretend
and now you're beside me
and look how far we've come
so far
we are
so close
looking back on their years together, the pair couldn't help but wonder why this didn't happen sooner, why they elongated the pain and sat through the hurt when they could've shared this moment of peace and euphoria earlier
they thought about the weeks they had spent apart and in the presence of another when all they needed was each other. what were they thinking, honestly?
"are you singing, frederick gideon weasley?"
"for you, i'd do just about anything, love."
she sighed happily before she thought back to that afternoon in the great hall. the study session
"i really thought you were gonna ask me. i was so sure, especially when you looked at me with those warm eyes of yours and your happy, boyish grin and i was so excited. but then, you turned and asked someone else. and i had to leave. i couldn't be around to hear all the giggles you both shared whilst i was slowly breaking."
oh how could i face the faceless days
if i should lose you now
"y/n, i'm so sorry. believe me when i say that i was planning on asking you. that afternoon, during dance practice. i was set on asking you then. but then you said-"
"that i might have found someone i wanted to sweep me off my feet. did it never occur to you that i was thinking about you? freddie, i had, have literal heart eyes for you. was it not even a little obvious?"
"i guess not, love," he said, shaking his head at his own obliviousness, "i just. wanted the best for you. and if you had already found it in someone else, then i was fine with that. well, i wasn't but i wasn't gonna let it show. when you said that, i thought someone else had asked. and that you had said yes. so i asked angie, and ended up being a shit date, so i owe her big time. but then when i left to chase after you, adrian was there, singing, in a horrible accent i'd like to add, and in the middle of it all, you just looked so happy, despite the tear tracks that stained your face. your smile was so bright. and then he asked you and you said yes and i just felt. defeated. which is unfair, but i didn't know you were dateless. had i known, i would've asked myself. i just should have asked you about it, but instead, i went and asked someone else, i made you cry and then i pushed you into the arms of another in the process. i was just a downright git who doesn't deserve you. i'm lucky you're dancing with me ri-"
we're so close
to reaching that famous happy end
almost believing this one's not pretend
let's go on dreaming though we know we are
rolling her eyes, she pulled him even closer, if it were possible, titling her head ever so slightly to slot her lips onto his, shutting him up
and it was like sparks, no, fireworks went off and they lost themselves to each other. this was where they truly belonged
"do you ever shut up? you ramble a lot, freddie. i'd say it's cute and a little impressive but then it kept going on and on and i didn't know when you'd st-"
fred leans in again, the kiss lasting a little longer than the first, the otherwise chilly night feeling rather warm
"fred, you just kissed someone with a dirty mouth."
fred grinned gingerly, leaning in to whisper into her ear
"yeah. and i'm about to do it again."
so close
so close
and still
so far
adrian and angelina, who was accompanied by roger davis, sat off to the side, grinning at the kissing couple, bumping fists under the table
"i reckon she doesn't need me to escort her to the common room anymore. suppose i should take drunk-off-his face over here back to our dorm," adrian says to angelina, gesturing to the shitfaced miles bletchley, "tell y/n i said goodnight. if you get the chance to."
and with that, adrian left the yule ball with his drunk mate attached to his arm and a smile on his face, happy that his friend finally got the guy she wanted
her freddie
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is that a wrap?! i think fucking so. this will forever be my baby because believe me when i say i've never written a fic this long but it was so worth it.. love yall <33
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dareers-horniness · 8 months
Text
Scaly Desires
Never trust a kobold to do a dragon's job." You muttered under your breath.
You had sent your three most quick-witted kobolds to confront and deal with a sorcerer that had locked himself away in a crevice in the mountains you lived in.
But the three stooges came back much worse off than when you sent them.
The trio now adorned diapers designed for infants, perfectly swaddled around their waists. To make them look even more pathetic, the scalebrains had an insatiable LOVE for the padded garments.
Constantly rubbing them or asking one of their fellow kobolds to hump their padded rears.
Your lead kobold even had the audacity to waddle up to you and ask you, his OWNER, for 'diaper humpies.' How DESPICABLE! You would be sure to undo this mental magic that had plagued their brains once you got back.
You exited your cave, bound for the short flight to the other side of the mountains. Sure, they were far enough away from you that you would never see them, but they were YOUR mountains! You couldn't have some magically-talented, rambunctious mink in your home!
There was only room for you!
So you flew around the mountains, locating exactly where the mephitis had housed himself.
When you finally found his abode and entered, you looked upon the intruder with a confused gaze.
This simple skunk looked hardly different than any other magicless specimen!
How could he have mentally overpowered your kobolds?
Without even turning around, he greeted you.
"So you're the one who sent the little simpleton kobolds to 'deal' with me?" He inquired rhetorically, clearly thinking the situation was comedic in some sense of the word.
You grunted at his arrogance. The whelp didn't even seem to recognize the magnitude of the situation he was in. He clearly didn't know YOU.
"Yes. And you sent the dim-wits back to me uselessly babbling about diapers." You sneered, slamming your tail against the ground in anger.
"Oh? Your kobolds seemed quite happy with their new garments. I don't see what the problem is, dear dragon." The skunk snickered.
This enraged you, the mephitis clearly understanding how mad you were, but toyed with the seriousness of your plights nonetheless.
"The PROBLEM is that you rendered the minions of the lord of these mountains as dim, horny, diaper brained idiots!" You exclaimed, baring your fangs.
A grin spread across the skunk's muzzle.
"Oh? And I suppose the 'big lord' is fussy he isn't in the same boat!" He presumed.
"Of course not!" You shot back, balling your fists up in frustration.
"And since you're clearly not content to leave, I'll remove you from my home and dispel whatever magic you filled their minds with!" You stepped forward, ready to deal with the intruder.
As fast as you moved forward, however, he moved even faster.
A wisp of magical essence shot from his paws, whizzing in front of your eyes for just a moment before lodging themselves in your ears.
You approach was abruptly halted, now twitching as the magic reached your brain.
"Why don't I just show you EXACTLY what your 'diaper-brained idiots' are going so crazy over." He spoke, venom dripping off of every word that left his muzzle.
But you were focusing less on that, and more on the magic that was seeping into your brain.
You could already feel it at work.
It was as if it was smoothing out all distinguishable aspects of your personality.
Aspects of pride, dulled down.
Desire to breed, snuffed out.
Your natural leadership, smoothed away.
Your thoughts of greed were the only thing that still remained, but even they were not untouched.
You had an inclination towards gold. A shiny metal, one that brought reason to many dragon's lives; a greedy desire that ran their emotions.
But your greedy inclinations were slowly being moved towards something… much different. Much less covetous.
Diapers… crinkly garments for the young of all species. Of course, dragons tended to graduate from them earlier, as a sign of their mental superiority. But right now… they seemed to FILL your mind. Wearing them… feeling them… they were SPLENDID!
You LOVED to hoard diapers! USED diapers! SOAKED diapers! MESSY diapers! Even CLEAN diapers were desirable! You could just fill them later! Because diapers were the BEST! You LOVED to hump and fill and piss in diapers! They were the BEST!
As the mage's magic slinked in your brain, your twitching gradually lessened, your shocked expression being replaced by a placid, open-jawed smile. Meanwhile, your waist swelled, the skunk's magic manifesting not only mentally, but physically as well.
You bit your lip as the garment finally materialized. It wasn't any secret what it was.
You crouched, the magic tendrils no lingerie slinking into your brain, but simply staying put, resting there, the latent magic still seeping into every inch of your once-brilliant noggin.
You clenched your paws and lifted up your hefty tail, causing a light crinkle in the process.
But even that little noise was enough to accelerate your actions.
You squinted, crouching lower as the mephitis's magic finally retracted.
Your tail flagged high, the floodgates that were your bowels, nonexistent.
Instantly, your diaper sagged, drooping with your draconic mess.
Warm, babyish muck pushed against your scaly rump… and it felt AMAZING.
Your hard, rigid scales basked in the warmth that was your poopies. You shivered, still pushing on your rump all the while, mess still filling your seat.
You LOVED diapers! They were PERFECT for diaper-loving dragons like you! Getting to fill your diapers ALL day, HUFFING your used ones and readying your current ones to be huffed! Rutting your minion's mushy rumps! NOTHING compared to the ecstasy of diapers!
Suddenly, diapers were all you cared about. Hoarding diapers, filling diapers, snorting diapers, kissing diapers. You LOVED smurshing them together with other dragon's diapers and having them humped by your minions! Diapers were EVERYTHING for a dragon like you!
Your tail dropped onto your seat with an audible smursh, your paw idly moving back to scratch your rump, only eliciting another smursh.
"So? Does the hatchling see why his minions LOVE diapers so much?" The skunk inquired with a chuckle, clearly enjoying your new state of mind.
You found yourself giving him a placid nod, mumbling something about "poopy diapees."
"Good. Now go show your minions what you learned. I'm sure THEY have something to give you as well." He commanded, leading you off back toward the entrance of the cave.
When you finally made it back to your cave, a hatchling-minded scent still following you and your diaper significantly bigger than when you exited the skunk's abode, you found all of your kobolds to be adorning diapers, many of them used.
You sighed, just how you liked it.
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#19
Took 150 cause my mind would not stop thinking about it. I figure that's enough to feel something off it but not where I'm out of commission.
AFTERMATH
Took another 150 and I did that weird don't feel like I'm high thing. My throat has been burning from all the pills I swallow. My stomach is really not appreciating it. I didn't really eat yesterday either. It lowkey slipped my mind. Ig not eating plus constantly belching has cured my bloating for a bit. Very weird buut hey you know. es what it es. Aside from that no real symptoms. Just my stomach being fussy
NOTES/EMOTIONS
Yeah uh. Most definitely spiraling now. I'm taking them so often compared to the beginning when I thought I'd still be getting off them soon. I kinda see why? Money problems.. again
The place I interviewed for didn't call back afterall. I thought I had it in the bag but noope. I'm officially starting this work from home call shit soon. I need the money atp. My student loan shit is finally charging me as it's been 6 months since I've been in school. So that's 77 right there. Then my university finally got their shit together and changed the amount I owed to like 2k which is a lot better.. only thing is the most the most they'll allow you to stretch it out to is 12 months so I have to pay them 200 every month. Plus I was kinda counting on the rest of my birthday money to pay off this shit I borrowed on cashapp.
I like to borrow the junk on there when I know I'll be getting the money/have the money to pay it off soon after as they increase my borrow limit when I do that. I've gone from my max being like $20 to now I have a limit of... I believe 125? Not that I ever really need it but it's nice to know in a pinch I have 125 of "free" money that I have about a month to pay back. It's helped me out so many times. I was buying this mirror and I didn't realize my spotify subscription already renewed for the month so I didn't have enough on me to buy the mirror technically. BUTT I borrowed like $30 for it and the other bs I was getting, paid it off like 4 days later then boom more money available. It's been going good aside from two incidents.
I'm sure I wrote about it in my intro but basically I started balling out the week I thought I was gonna kill myself cause I figured it didn't really matter and I'm sure if they explained it to them they'd cancel the shit. And even if not, I mean it was like what... $100? It wouldn't be that big of a deal either way. But then I ended up staying so that was a thingg. I never thought I'd be there to that point so I fr didn't have the money to pay it like.. at all. I got lucky the like final final day it was due was 2 days after my birthday so with the birthday money I got I could pay it off. This time was kinda the same?
I bought this figurine I've been looking at for months now out of like.. I'm gonna get it anyway. I've been wanting it and talking about it since prolly like. December now. And I didn't have enough on my card but I thought that was fine cause I had like $150 in cash so I was just gon go to the bank and boom. Only to be a dumbass and buy shit the times I had to sit at the mall for my sister. Then I went to pride and spent the little bit I had left on food. I kinda thought my aunt would pay for me too as she invited me and like.. not THAT damn grown but nope. I ended up spending $70 on food alone and then the rest of it went to getting into this one club and these stickers I bought to support this group working to get better conditions in animal shelters and stop dogs from getting put down over small shit that's mostly on the owner. The stickers were $6 already which stung a ilttle but what really killed me is the damn club
Sigh. I won't get into specifics cause I've already been babbling and I still have a lot to say. Basically, my aunt let me smoke her weed with her but it was so so strong and 3 hours later I was still kinda gone. I wanted to go to sleep but the motel we (me, my aunt, and her bsf) were staying at for the night was hella shady and they didn't want to leave me there on my own. So they sent me in the gas station to buy an energy drink and I was just to.. keep it pushing so they could go to the club. But since I'm a "minor" I got charged $10 extra. I'm 19 so I'm assuming they just call anyone that can't drink a minor? But that was already bad enough. I paid $30 in this short amount of time but I'm just like alr. Never been to a club before maybe it'll be worth it? No.
They literally went to the bathroom and I wasn't allowed to be alone so I had to shuffle around with them the whole time when I didn't even have to pee. But after standing in line and getting situated for like 20 mins we grouped up and shimmied our way through the crowd only for them to decide it was wack then we went to the outside part and just sat there pretty much alone. It was so fucking annoying. I'm not a huge partier my damn self but they were entirely too focused on fitting in. I'll admit that yeah, we did stick out alot. There were mostly hispanic ppl there and the music they were playing was in spanish and shit but at the same point? Why not make our own fun it woulda been 10x better than just sitting in the back and striking up 5 min convos with randoms. I wanted to go back in but atp.. I knew they'd say no to me going in on my own and I didn't wanna force them to be in an uncomfortable situation for my sake.
But yeah overall. $100 in food and stupid shit. I wasn't expecting to spend like absolutely nothing but I wasn't planning for that all to be gone either. Losing that money kinda screwed me. I really don't have any money like... at all. I have about $11 on my card and $14 in loose cash.. and I have to come up with $300 by next weekish. I have to pay back the money I borrowed for the figurine and I have to pay my 200 for my university debt. I really don't want to talk to my parents about it. I know they're gonna be mad and tbh I can't blame them. I should've saved some of it and I shouldn't be planning my money that hard that one event can royally screw me like that. That $200 they're supposed to give me is one thing. I wasn't expecting to not have that and I wasn't expecting my uni to want $200 a month at minimum. But the $125 I owe? Entirely on me and I just... I don't want them to rub it in rn
Uh money shit and my best friend lately. I dunno. I feel like she's a whole different person nowadays. And the more I think on our talk before the more I'm losing my feelings. Or that's what I think it is.
I've always had a problem with feeling abandoned and ever since my childhood. Dad and step mom used to be in their room 24/7. We'd do big stuff together and everything and that was nice and all but when it came to just spending time with us?? Almost never. We used to beg them to play with us all the time and they'd say yeah and just forget. Everytime. They rarely just played with us just cause. We had to beg and bother them so much for it. They always had to have some big ass event and all this special shit to care to spend time with us and it's just.. we just wanted to spend time with yall.
My mom mom wasn't much better tbh. She didn't really talk to me unless she was telling me what chores or basic, basic shit. Back when I was doing the two years on two years off thing, she actually never called either. I kinda forgot she was my mom at times. I used to be alone a lot too. When I lived with her, she had to work during the day but when she got back she would just go off and do her on thing. Even on her days off tbr. I'd be alone all the time. I used to try to ask her to play with me too but oftentimes I was on my own anyway
All that shit just made me hypersensitive to abandonment. I grew to hate that they could just withhold their love and affection until they felt like it. And when they did half the time it was some big giant thing. It made me feel like they were doing it more for the act of doing it than being with us you know?
I never want to have that again. I never want to be in a position to beg someone to give me attention. To love me. I'm just tired of doing it.
R is kind of putting me in that position nowadays. We don't talk as much, we don't "hang out" (I mean we're in completely diff states so not exactly exactly hanging out), we just occasionally joke around and parrot out the same old same old. I've talked to her about how much it bothers me on multiple occasions and she hasn't changed things at all. It just makes me feel so stupid. All this time I thought possibly we had the same feelings for each other but it must've meant literally nothing to her. She said that she would treat her girlfriend "like she treated me" which has been eating me up. She knows what she's doing atp and she's too busy kekeing with her girl to care.
I'm just completely done. I've spoken my piece and things haven't changed. I refuse to let anyone dangle their love over my head whenever they feel like it. Including her. I'm tired of always having this happen and I'm done trying to improve our relationship. You can't just cast me to the side as you please and expect to come back to the same closeness. You're just blatantly telling me you don't care. I don't ask for much. I just want to spend some time with her time to time whether it's playing a game together, having actual conversations instead of the constantly on 10 hehe haha bs, or the occasional call just to catch up. But nah. I see how it is atp
I'm just ready her to snap out her trance cause atp it's ridiculous and I don't get how she doesn't see it. Her girlfriend gets so possessive and insecure to the point where she really can't maintain any friendships period. I swear she wants R to give her attention 25/7 and whenever she doesn't get it she's worried that she likes them better.
God I'm just. I can't talk about this anymore. One one hand her girlfriend is so fucking manipulative and R shouldn't feel this much pressure to keep a tunnel vision on her. Or give up on everything she likes to do to appease her. Or feel such a fucking rush to get through all the relationship milestones all in one go. But on the other hand, R isn't blameless either. She knows how much this affects me and she promised that she would never let her girlfriend get in between us but now look at us. You've ignored everything I said to appease your partner. I don't need your attention all the damn time but I wish you would stop treating me as the aftrthought. I shouldn't have to beg to hang out with my friend. That's all I'm asking. I want you to actually want to fucking talk to me instead of doing it cause you're used to it. Cause you said you would. You don't care about how distant we've gotten cause for you you can just get it from your girl right? You don't care about how it makes me feel. You're all about your partner and I just have to accept whatever breadcrumbs of shallow conversation you decide to throw me. And I'm supposed to stay the same towards you or it hurts your feelings..?
lol. when you don't tend to your friendships we grow apart. Don't get mad about that. Why do you always get jealous aand worried about me replacing you when thats literally what you did to me? Am I meant to be eagerly waiting for you when I have friends that genuinely care to keep in touch? And even the ones that only occasionally talk to me, we at least don't pretend that we're close. We catch up, chill for a little while, and gon about our day.
I'm just. imm done talking about this. its never fully satisfying. i astill have so much to say but. at the end of the day. just. done. im crying atp and i just want more pills
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oscarseyebrow · 3 years
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It's been a whole entire day since I read Say It Again and fellas...your girl is still emotionally compromised. Your prose is so good and so vivid? I particularly loved how you wrote the space battle that was so good??
I went off in the tags but there's so much that I love about it. The ramping up tension after they crash while the reader tries to get him out of the ship? And then diffusing some of that with Poe's smartass comment about how they owe him a new ship? Infuckingcredible, I laughed so hard even though like a minute before I was biting my nails.
And Snap being one of the few people who knew gets me in my feelings (as well as him being the one to go with Poe in the first place) and helping reader sneak out to visit Poe in the medbay...my heart is warm...it is full...that man is shaped like a friend and I love him so much.
The part with Leia I screamed. As soon as I got to the part with the chair I was like "omfg it was Leia wasn't it" and then she turned up and I was like "shE KNOWS SHE ABSOLUTELY KNOWS" and then I entirely lost my shit when Poe explained she knew before he did I simply just 🥺
Their reunion was so beautiful, I love how it started on the comms and then he showed up at their door and then the KISS I JUST 🥺🥺 and your comment abt how he knows best of all decisions in battles have consequences and how he holds each one close to his chest to make sure he'll do better the next time?
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the court finds me curled up in a fetal position crying my eyes out. You get him so well I simply just cry and I cry and I cry 😭
I kept [vibrating] over the fact that they had his necklace still while they were 👀 reuniting 👀 and I LOST MY MARBLES OVER HOW YOU ENDED THAT PARTICULAR THREAD IT WAS SO GOOD
also...hugging him, then getting onto him for putting his life in danger and how if he does that again you'll end him yourself, then eventually kissing him? BIGGEST LOVING POE DAMERON MOOD I'VE EVER READ.
In conclusion,
I have lost my goddamned mind and you probably have it but that's fine you can keep it and my heart this was so good.
I'm never gonna be able to look at that gif the same way again though. Also petition for more fics with Poe saying "say it again" because wowie yes
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tegan. sweetie. queen of poe. i read this, got up, walked into the kitchen a few times and then came back to reply because it's honestly 1) an honour to have you compliment me on my writing of poe and 2) just the nicest thing to read and my heart got very overwhelmed by it.
i did read your tags earlier and they were the best thing! i queued them up with a reblog because they made me smile so much this morning. but then to see this sitting here, waiting for me? ajshakjshj. honestly. my heart!
to think that this all started out as a quick note in my phone saying: "I love you." "Say it again..." and then grew into something that won your heart is such a compliment, and again, an absolute honour.
thank you so much for taking the time to write all of this. it means more to me than you'll ever know (*din djarin voice*). and thank you for letting me use your gif for it. whenever i write something for poe and i'm looking for the perfect gif to use i'm always like 'i should ask tegan... no i've already asked her for one of them' 😂 you might get me messaging you real soon for an upcoming piece i'm working on.
but seriously. thank you. you've really made my day 💖
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wedreamedlove · 2 years
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Have you read Evan's birthday card?
just finished it entirely today and... holy... shit... HOLY! SHIT! this is a god-tier card and i won't take criticisms. ngl at the start of Light and Night i wasn't too sure where they were going with the men's powers, but now it looks like a story about secret societies (aka. the supernatural world is a hidden one behind the real world) and that's always been something i adore!!
so Evan's birthday date exploring blood clan society and customs was utterly delightful. i also can't believe they had the balls to go straight into gothic romance vampire tropes where you explore the taboo and eldritch nature of these immortal creatures, not just "my instincts demand blood i am a monster". we're talking full on immortal, carnal, hedonistic, and debauched pleasure seekers. Evan was basically at a vampire orgy!! are they allowed to do that?!
don't even get me started on the second branch, which is straight up chapter 12 Evan and MC's relationship, and probably the one to keep in mind for the next story update. there was so much angst, her trying to hurt him, and him succumbing to the deadly temptation that is the heroine when it's a metaphorical death sentence to him. i also liken it to a 破镜重圆 speed run (break up and getting back together) LOL but really, really well done.
if the first branch left me giddy and satisfied about the two of them moving forward together and radiating so much tenderness and warmth, then the second branch left me feeling satisfied but terrible because everything ended on an agonizing note for the both of them. like closing their eyes to the horrible idea and mess everything is.
gods, i could gush about this date all day but i'd also just be babbling mindlessly hahahaha. it's so good, it also took me forever to read because i kept on having to pause and look away to just go "Oh GOD" at all the emotions. Evan's winter date was also utterly amazing though, so whoever his writers are they need to get a pay raise (clever move on Aurora Studios to send out their best writers for Evan haha).
LASTLY it's always delightful to see how i'm on the right (?) track and sharing a hive mind with official stuff because they invoked religious imagery in one of Evan's birthday branches and i'm just looking at my story on January 14 and going "yeah, vampires as damned creatures being set side by side with religion to make an oxymoron is a tale as old as time". once again, i am shaking hands with the writers for taking the gothic romance vampire route.
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