And the conversations people are now having about the different ways Laios, Shuro, and Falin are autistic is kinda starting to get to me. It's fuckin making me realize I've probably never actually masked in my life aside from like, two job interviews. And not even in a sense that I just be my honest self. No man, my throat just closes and I can't fucking talk so I don't even have the opportunity to pretend to be normal or not. And if I can manage to talk I just sit there like the autism creature and involuntarily act like some sweet delicate tiny baby-talking little girl because I'm, on all levels except physical, a deer in headlights. And around friends I can manage to be myself but fuck if I even realize I'm not picking up on shit until a week later and it fuckin hits me. I genuinely don't have an opportunity to mask or pick on ways I even could mask cuz I go into auto pilot mode of either complete involuntary nonverbal shutdown or "🥺👉👈". Like you guys even have the mental awareness and self control to think about masking or learning how to????