i always get kinda embarrassed or sad about how fucking slow i am when reading something due to memory loss/having to read something again and again to actually process it because of my disabilities/my adhd and wavering attention span but like... i gotta kill the elementary school reading award pressure in my head.... reading isnt something restricted by time. its not a race to finish 50 books in two months. if i read a hundred pages in a day or if i cant even get through one, its okay, because theres always tomorrow or the day after. there's no time restraint or pressure to enjoy art in my own time in a way i actually can and shame is just gonna make my actual enjoyment of the book be tainted or my ability to actually read and retain information get worse.