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pumpkin-spice-whump · 8 months

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Meeting the Safehouse

WE'RE HERE!!!!!

Masterlist

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Jesse didn’t sleep. He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, unmoving. If he moved then the girls would know he left them.

He made a mistake leaving. He knew that now, but he couldn’t go back. Mr. Bakeman would have noticed he was gone by now, and if he tried to go back he would kill him. It was selfish, but he didn’t want to die at Mr. Bakeman’s hand.

It could be worth it though. Maybe. If he got to see the girls before. Because any other way he would never see them again. Ever.

The world fell around Jesse. He was a set piece stuck on stage as the theater burned around him. He was moved and painted and placed where he was needed to go, but he could not leave when he needed to most.

Jesse could not move. They undoubtedly already knew he left them, but maybe if he didn’t move it wouldn’t hurt them. Not like it was hurting him.

He couldn’t stop thinking about when he was on his knees with Mr. Bakeman’s gun pointed at his head in the backyard. All he could think about was how heartbroken the children would be if they witnessed him die. But what has he done now? He might as well be dead to them. They never got to say goodbye. They’ll never see him again. Their Jesse. Gone.

The one person they would call for at night. The one person who cared for them when sick and held them when sad. The only person who knew their likes and dislikes, their fears and dreams and friends and goals. He saw Harper’s first steps, helped Eva with a speech to her little first grade class and was worriedly at Abi’s side when she landed her first back flip outside of gymnastics class.

Who would they have now? Mr. Bakeman was only in their lives to spite Jesse. And their nanny seemed nice, but she would never love them like he does.

Jesse buried his face in his pillow and let out a sob that sounded more like a scream. He prayed that Abi would see the letter before their father did. That she would read it and understand how sorry he was.

He would get up right then and jump out the window, hitchhike his way back to the Bakeman home and tell them in person how much he loved them. But he was too much of a coward. If he moved, they would sense that he was moving hundreds of miles away. And they would know that he had more fear than love.

Jesse’s heart twisted in a painful, familiar way he knew was grief.

He was a coward.

And they were gone.

Jesse stayed in bed all day. He heard people moving downstairs, and sometimes outside his door. Someone knocked once. He didn’t answer them and they went away. He cried. He screamed into his pillow. He was crushed with guilt and grief and regret. He twisted his collar round and round but nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay.

He passed out from pure exhaustion at some point, and when he woke it was light outside again. Jesse told himself that the girl’s knew now. They knew he left them and so there was no point in staying still. They would have to read the letter now to know that he still loved them.

People were up again. Jesse felt sick at the idea of talking to them, but he was propelled by his hunger and need to relieve himself to get out of bed.

He didn’t look in the mirror. It wasn’t a school day, but it didn’t matter when he wasn’t there.

Jesse stood at the door with his hand on the knob for an awful long time, trying to psych himself up to step in the hallway again. Meeting these people would make it feel real. He really left them and he lives somewhere else with strangers.

Cooper said there were four other rescues living there besides him and his sister. He’d told him their names he thought, but Jesse had been in no state to listen that night. What if they all hated him for wasting a day? Maybe he’d ruined his chance at ever feeling some semblance of okay there and now he would be a permanent outcast.

Jesse leaned his head against the door and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears. He gasped in a breath.

If you don’t leave now you never will.

He stepped out of the bathroom and crashed straight into someone.

“Oh. Sorry,” Jesse mumbled, stepping back. His shoulders hunched in anticipation of a hit, but when it never came he looked up at who he ran into.

A young woman, about his age, squinted at him from across the hall. She had a hand on the left side of her head, and coiled black hair pulled loosely away from her face.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. “It’s hard to see without my glasses. Are you the new rescue?”

Jesse’s face got red for no reason. “I’m Jesse.”

The woman smiled. “I’m Gwen. Sorry I’ve got a killer migraine, so I’m gonna lay down, but I’ll talk to you later. You’ll like it here. Cooper and Contessa are great.”

Jesse nodded. “A migraine? Are you okay?”

“Oh yeah I get them all the time. Just waste a day laying in bed. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow. Everyone else is in the kitchen. Nice to meet you Jesse.” And with that she left, stumbling down the hall to the room next door to Jesse's own, gently shutting the door.

“You too Gwen,” he whispered.

One person down. Five more to go.

He stopped at the end of the staircase, spinning his collar. He could hear voices just around the corner. His chest was hot, but also cold? He wanted to go back to bed.

Just do it.

Jesse stepped down the last step and turned into the kitchen.

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Cooper Hernandez always got up around five. He’d go for a run, come home and shower, and make breakfast for the house. The rescues varied in wake up times. Miranda liked to wake up early and she was usually in the kitchen helping him cook. August would sleep in, making his way there when he had to strength to get up. Everyone trickled in and ate before going about their plans for the day. Usually Cooper’s sister, Contessa was last. But yesterday they had another empty chair that was supposed to be filled.

Jesse, the new rescue, never came down from his room. Cooper wasn’t concerned. It was normal to be overwhelmed and scared. Especially because Jesse needed some coaxing to leave his owners.

But before he knew it Cooper had gone through another morning routine, sat down for another breakfast and stared at another empty chair. Surely he was getting hungry. They hadn’t even heard him open the door to go to the bathroom yesterday.

He’d come around. He just made the hardest decision of his life, but he’d come around.

“You okay Gwen?” Contessa asked. Cooper snapped out of his thoughts and noticed Gwen had her head in her hands.

She nodded with stilted movements. “Got a migraine coming on.”

“I’m sorry,” Miranda said. Her face was the perfect image of concern. “Do you need anything?”

“No. I’m just um. I think I’m just gonna go lay down. Sorry,” Gwen said, standing up.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Contessa told her.

Cooper watched her go shakily up the stairs, reminding himself to check on her later in the day to see if she needed anything. Heaven knows she will never ask for it herself.

“Will he come downstairs today?” August asked. As the newest, besides Jesse of course, it was taking a lot for him to come out of his shell.

August’s first days there he just stayed in his room (just like Jesse was seeming to), ignored everyone and everything, and cried.

His case was different. He didn’t make the choice to leave, and he wasn’t rescued by pet libs. His owner gave him to them. She had a change of heart. Cooper understood it, and appreciated it, but a part of him knows that, because of it, August will never be the same as he was before. His owner had described him as energetic, outgoing and funny, but that was not the August any of them had ever seen. Platonics bonded to their buyers in a way that couldn’t be understood by those who had never experienced it. Cooper didn't think that August’s owner even understood it. But August was strong. Anyone who went through that was.

Cooper had told August yesterday that Jesse was also a platonic, and that it would be nice if August could help him through these first few days if he was up to it. August’s face had lit up at the idea of someone else in the house like him. He’d knocked on Jesse’s door sometime yesterday, but got no answer. It would just take time.

Cooper cleared his throat. “Be patient. It took a lot for him to leave. He just needs a bit to process it.”

August nodded. “Maybe I can knock on his door again?”

“Yeah. We’ll give him a little, but you can certainly try again. Just don’t take it personally if he needs another day.”

August nodded again. Cooper beamed at the way he didn't even try to hide his excitement.

Cooper didn’t have to guess how it would feel to have someone in the house who understood. Dawson, Miranda, and Gwen were all Domestics. They didn’t feel the same attachment to their owners that August and Jesse felt.

Well, he didn’t think so anyway. The house therapist, Bree, dropped hints here and there at their briefings that Dawson may have had a higher attachment than was usually seen. But he did leave of his own volition, so who knows. Maybe it’s the guilt.

“What’s he like?” Miranda asked, pouring herself more coffee.

“I’m not really sure. It was a long drive for him that night. He just went to bed. But hopefully he’ll join us this morning and you can all introduce yourselves.”

He didn’t tell them about the phone call he’d had with his Abuela. He didn’t even tell Contessa.

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“There’s something about him,” Abuela said.

“What do you mean?” Cooper was losing patience. It was late. He was used to setting up quickly for a new rescue, but it was still a stressful process. And then his Abuela has to call and talk for ages… He loved her but sometimes it was too much.

“He’s a nanny, for the children. Three little girls. He loves them like they’re his own. He calls them his girls. I… I just wonder if he might try to leave. For them. He’s very jumpy, always on edge.”

“It’s hard not to be as a boxboy, Abuela,” Cooper told her. He set the phone on speaker and began to put fresh sheets on the bed. “Will he be okay sleeping alone? Each room only has two beds and I already got four rescues…”

“I’m not sure. I think so. But Cooper, honey, just… I know you know this, but just be gentle. Leaving your children is the hardest thing a person can do. And as far as he is concerned, they’re his.”

“You got it. WRU’s brainwashing can do crazy things to people. It takes a lot, but he’ll get there. Plus, we have another Platonic who’s also experiencing a lot of stress from unwilling separation. Maybe they can help each other out.”

“I hope so.”

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The stairs creaked and Cooper looked up to see Jesse standing nervously at the entrance to the kitchen.

“Hey, Jesse,” Cooper said warmly, trying to not let too much relief show. “Are you hungry? Come take a seat.”

The poor guy looked like he wanted to bolt as fast as he could out the front door, but, with a lot of effort it seemed, he did take the empty seat between Miranda and August. Up close Cooper could see that he had dark bags under his bloodshot eyes. He had been clearly been crying. He was also sitting rather stiffly on his chair, tense like his body hurt. Abuela had made it clear, without really saying it at all, what had been happening to him in that house. Cooper made a mental note to offer him the heating pad later.

“Get some food if you want it. Or this is full of coffee.”

Jesse reached a shaking hand up to his collar that was still buckled tight, and spun it around his neck. Cooper held back a wince at the sight of his chafed and red skin that ringed the leather. He was going to be a difficult one to separate from the collar. Oh well. August still wore his too.

Maybe it’s a platonic thing.

Contessa looked up from her phone for the first time all breakfast, just glancing at Jesse, and then at Cooper with furrowed eyebrows. She cleared her throat. “Hey, I’m Contessa, I’m Cooper’s sister. Jesse right? Do you wanna stick with that or would you rather change it?”

Jesse looked up from pouring himself a cup of coffee with wide eyes. “Change it?”

“Some rescues don’t like the names their, uh, owners gave them,” Cooper jumped in, lightly kicking Contessa under the table. “They’d rather change them. If you want to, you can. It doesn’t have to be now, it can be whenever. But if you like your name then you can keep it too. It’s up to you, man.”

He knew what his Abuela meant by jumpy. Jesse hunched his shoulders and tried to make himself smaller, holding his mug close. His eyes looked far away, but also darted around the table quickly, taking in all the details it seemed. Cooper was going to have to ease him in to learning everything about the house.

“I, um, I like Jesse,” he finally said. “I like it. Ab--” He cut himself off with a drink, taking a big deep breath. Cooper could see tears shining in his eyes.

August smiled good naturedly. “I kept my name, too,” he told him, taking a bite. “I’m August.”

Jesse attempted a smile, but it was the saddest thing Cooper had seen in a long time. The poor kid was falling apart at the seams. But he was trying, and Cooper would never fault him for that.

Dawson stood suddenly, taking his plate to the kitchen and out of sight. He never quite liked meeting new people. Or old people. Or people.

“I’m Miranda,” Miranda chimed in. “And that was Dawson. And um, Gwen just went up to her room.”

Jesse cleared his throat, nodding. “I ran into her in the hallway.”

“She gets headaches,” Miranda explained. “She’ll probably just be in her room today.”

He nodded again. He didn’t take anything to eat, but that wasn’t concerning. The first few days in the house were overwhelming. He’d settle into a routine soon.

“So um, when we’re done eating I can give you a tour of the house and explain the house guidelines and chores, that sound okay?”

Jesse nodded, which was good. But Cooper got the feeling that he would agree to anything he said right now.

He’d fall into a routine. Jesse would learn to grieve the life he left, and understand that he made the right choice. He would heal here.

Cooper hoped.

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Taglist: @mylifeisonthebookshelf@boxboysandotherwhump@hold-him-down@winedark-whump@melancholy-in-the-morning @castielamigos-whump-side-blog@cyborg0109

#bbu #847481: jesse #box boy universe #box boy whump #whump #recovery whump #coopers safehouse

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fanficshiddles · 7 years

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Instincts, Chapter 48

Word about the leader of the hybrids death had quickly passed through all the hybrids. They all abandoned their plan and ran away from the city. Loki had guards follow them and make sure they left the realm, but ordered them to catch any they could and throw them in jail to rot with Odin.

They had lost so many soldiers and wolves that day because of the fight. They wasted no time on organising a proper funeral for them all that evening…

They all gathered by the large lake that led out over the edge of the realm, just as Asgard had and all the other realms. Everyone in the city had lights in their hands and were devastated as the boats were readied with the fallen wolves.

Layla put her arm around Joan as the first boat was sent out. Loki let go of his light and watched as it flew up into the night’s sky, followed by hundreds of others, as he made a speech.

‘Dennis was… He was very brave. Putting himself first for his people, his friends and his family. Many times he risked his life for us, for everyone. We have lost an incredible wolf... Someone we will always be grateful to, someone we will never, ever forget.’ Loki said as he tried to hold in his own tears as he looked at Joan, who was beside herself with heart break.

‘We have lost so many today. Strong, and fearless wolves. All who will never be forgotten.’ Loki finished with as he nodded.

The rest of the boats were released after Dennis’. The entire realm had gathered and watched as all of the fallen wolves floated out across the peaceful water.

Loki nodded at the archers, who aimed into the sky and fired their lighted arrows high. Rudolf was one of them, doing Dennis’ boat, which he was honoured to do for such a friend and family member.

Then everyone apart from Loki, Layla, Joan, Rafal, Rudolf, Freya, Safir and Armund, tilted their heads back and howled loudly at the moon as all of the boats lit up. Even little Eva howled along too, feeling just as sad as the rest of them on losing her Uncle Dennis. Loki reached down and gently patted the top of her head once she was finished howling.

As they reached the edge of the realm, the boats fell down beneath them off the edge. But the spirits of the warriors all floated upwards to Valhalla. Where they were all going to be greeted with open arms for their bravery and strength.

Layla hugged into Loki and sobbed against his chest. He buried his face into her hair and let his tears fall freely against her.

Rafal comforted Joan and held her as she cried. The family were devastated and heartbroken. But they knew it was only a fraction of what Joan would be feeling after losing her mate. Loki couldn’t even bare to think about it.

The following day, things were calm. But it was eerie as everyone worked to get the palace and the city back to normal, while still mourning for the loss of the wolves that they lost.

But for the first time in his life, Loki felt at peace. There was no more worry or dread in the pit of his stomach. Things were peaceful, and they could finally get on with their lives now on the new realm.

Though he still felt a great sadness for Joan. She was beside herself with grief. The family did everything they possibly could to console her. But understandably, nothing was enough to calm her.

Eva had naturally been a little shaken about what had happened with her biological father.

I don’t understand why he did what he did to my family. She said sadly, and nearly broke Layla and Loki’s hearts.

‘We don’t either, sweetheart. He was driven to insanity and wanting to rule the world. It turned out he would do anything in his power to make that happen. But we do not have to worry about him again.’ Loki assured her.

‘Your mother was very brave, Eva. She carried you to safety even though she must have been in such agony. She was also very brave to approach us, alerting us that you were there and needed caring for.’ Layla said softly as she stroked Eva’s fur.

I’m glad she found the two of you. You’re the best parents ever. I… I do love and miss my mum. But I’m lucky to have two mums and a dad. Eva said as she licked both Layla and Loki’s faces, making their heart melt.

‘We could plant some flowers in the garden, as a memorial for her if you wish to.’ Loki suggested.

Yes please! Eva nodded enthusiastically.

A few days after the death of Dennis, Joan went to Loki and Layla’s quarters to speak to them both.

‘I have decided that it would be best for me to leave Wolfheim.’ She said quietly.

Layla felt her stomach drop.

‘What? No. Please don’t.’ Layla was cut off by Loki looking at her and shaking his head.

He reached out and gave Layla’s thigh a reassuring squeeze.

‘Where would you go?’ Loki asked Joan softly.

‘Back to Midgard. I feel it’s best to go back home, see my family. Maybe travel around Midgard, like Dennis always wanted us to do. I feel like being here just now is just, a bit too much.’ Joan said with a sigh as she tried to back her tears.

‘I’m really going to miss you.’ Layla said as her own eyes started to water.

‘I’ll really miss you too.’ Joan said as the two hugged.

‘I will come back, I promise. I’m just not sure when. But if you’re ever on Midgard, let me know.’ Joan said as she hugged Layla tightly.

‘Can we visit?’ Layla asked, hopeful as she looked to Loki.

‘Of course we will. You’re family, we will most definitely come and see you. And you know your chambers are always here for you if you choose to come back, even if it’s in a thousand years.’ Loki said as he reached over and gave Joan’s shoulder a squeeze.

Layla was really upset after saying goodbye to Joan. Loki held her tightly as she sat on his lap. Eva was cuddled up with them as well, as she was upset too having to say goodbye to Auntie Joan.

Loki was upset as well, naturally. But he knew it was best for Joan and something that she needed to do to come to terms with losing Dennis.

‘She is going to travel around Midgard, like Dennis had always wanted to do with her. She is only going to find herself again and take the time to grieve. It will all be too painful for her staying here while the wounds are still so fresh.’ Loki said softly as he kissed both Layla and Eva on the top of their heads.

#Loki #Tom hiddleston #alpha!Loki #omegaverse #wolf!Loki #fan fiction #instincts

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lomlskam · 7 years

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Goodbye Skam

Today, June 24th, 2017, marks the end of an amazing tv show. A show that brought thousands of people happiness, sadness, frustration, and lots of drama. Skam was a show so many people could connect to, every character was relatable to either yourself or someone you knew. It wasn't the classic kind of teen show, with 28 year olds playing teenagers who are all insanely attractive, dress up everyday for school in a full face of makeup, who drive fancy ass cars, etc. Instead it showed actual teenagers, who don't always wear makeup, who take the bus to and from school, who have relationship problems that aren't fixed in .2 seconds. It showed people who fuck up, who do something they regret that doesn't get fixed right away. It showed people who are struggling with their sexuality, who try and fix themselves, or hid it from friends. It showed people who struggle with body insecurities and have eating disorders, and how their friends react. It showed people of different religions and races, and how they stand in the way of diversity and don't let people make stereotypes and how people will be there to stand up for them. It shows the truth behind teenangers and their life, without over dramatizing it.

For four seasons we got to see the truth behind the lives of four distinctly different people. We had Eva, someone who lost her best friends because she fell in love. Who had issues trusting her boyfriend based on their past together. Who cheated on her boyfriend because another boy made her feel safe. Who finally gained friends who stuck by her side no matter what, and made her happy. Then we had Noora, someone who wanted nothing more then her friends to be happy. Who fell in love with a boy despite everything he had done. A relationship with real problems, but pulled through after countless talks and decisions made by both of them. A relationship where he knew taking her from Oslo again would be an awful mistake. Then we had Isak, someone struggling to figure out his sexuality. Who fell in love with a bipolar pansexual. He wanted nothing more than to protect this man with all he had. He eventually accepted himself, and all around him accepted him as well. Welcomed his boyfriend in with open arms. And finally, we have Sana, a muslim girl struggling with her religion and the world she lives in. She has feelings for non-muslim man, and she has to decide if following every single rule in her religion is more important than giving him a chance. Who made mistakes and almost lost her friends, but her friends knew they couldn't lose her. And sadly, we didn't get to see as much out of Sana as we would have liked. But what we did get to see was amazing. What we got out of these four amazing characters was special. We got to see them go through heartache, acceptance, happiness, and so much more.

In the final week of Skam we got to see six different people's stories. Sadly, these five or more minute clips are never enough. We got to see Vilde living with her mother, barely making enough money for rent that she has to borrow it from her friend. We got to see Chris, talking to the school nurse about how she isn't good enough for her friends but coming to realize she is and that she can help them. We got to see Jonas, hiding a relationship from his friends because he still cares deeply for his ex girlfriend, who we learn he hooked up with and makes out with at Sanas party. We got to see P-Chris, who we knew as a fuckboy, but who was falling in love with Eva, who cared so deeply for a girl, just for her to shoot him down. We got to see Even, planning a party for the man he loves, who he thinks he's not good enough for. And finally we got to see Eskild and Linn, who are the roommates of Noora, who are so afraid of losing her, but they know they have each other. And on the last day, we got to see Sanas party. See how everyone comes together for her.

This last clip gave me so many emotions in and of itself. I was happy, then frustrated, and i cried a lot during it. I was happy because we got to see Sana in a gorgeous pink dress, surrounded by the people who love her/who she loves. She was so happy, to have all her friends and family around supporting her as she ended her fast. Eskild was proposing that William move in with them, he was so excited at the prospect of cheaper everything, and sunday game nights. We got to see Chris tell Vilde that she's always there to talk. Vilde telling her that she's her best friend, how she can always make her happy and that she will always have Magnus to talk to about anything. We got to see Eva and P-Chris discussing food, and eventually we saw him “fall in love with” Emma. Eva and Jonas having a moment, which got interrupted by vilde and then we got to see them making out. But the best part of this clip was the ending. It ended the same way it started. A montage of happy clips of the characters, and Jonas reading a speech. It was the best way they could've ended the show. It all came full circle. It made me the happiest and saddest out of the whole show.

So thank you Skam, for the countless laughs and tears. Thank you for giving me and so many others a show we fell in love with. For showing us that people on tv can be just like us. Without having to dramatize it. Thank you for giving us such an amazing show that is diverse without being stereotypical. Thank you for giving us friendships and relationships we can look up to that are actually accomplishable. Thank you Julie Andem for writing and creating an amazing show. Thank you to everyone who acted on this show for bringing amazing characters to life. Thank you to all the people who created the subtitles for the episodes so people like me are able to watch it and enjoy it. Thank you Skam, for existing. You will forever be a loved show to many.

#skam

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