It's finally here! Time to look into the memory books. Again, this is the first of three I'm gonna post, but I was really excited to write it even though I'm a little late and I'm quite proud of it, enjoy! @especdreamy
His Memory Books
733 words
Trigger warnings. Loss of memories, loss of time, confusion, self doubt, mention of manipulation, mention of auditory hallucinations, mention of death
The heat was almost suffocating, but it was the necessary place to be, so I paved further on.
I came across Tommy. It's been a little while since anyone has seen or talked much about him. He looked different, weaker, his clothes had rips and holes in them.
He looked up and noticed me, a combination of fear and relief in his eyes. I took a step forward, and he took a step back. I raised my hands as a display of no ill intent, but then reached into my pocket for a book and quill, offering him the chance to communicate. He did so, but then he was gone again, back into the depths of the Nether.
"I talked to Tommy today. He's not doing well. I need to make him well again."
I paced in circles around the room, hands and slender fingers running through and tugging at my two-tone hair. Book and quill in hands that shook, I took the space of more than one page, pouring out my thoughts and worries.
"Don't let anyone see this. Don't let anyone see this. Don't let anyone see this."
"I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do."
"No one could have found it. No one could know where it is. You put it in the chest. You know you did. You didn't."
More and more I find myself opening the books and am greeted with a smiley face on the pages. I don't know if I put those there. I don't think I did. Did I? I feel like I would remember that. Why can't I remember anything?
"Why is he okay? Why is he being nice? I betrayed him. Didn't I? Why is he okay with what I did?"
Dark bags were beginning to accompany the tear track scars under my eyes due to lack of sleep as I was laced with paranoia and anxiety as of late.
"We're screwed."
There was that smiley face again.
"They're gonna kill me."
It broke my heart seeing the ones I've become acquainted with turn on each other, seeing friendships snap like a rubber band, hearing how I need to choose a side, why I can't do this, why I won't last long in this world with that mindset.
"Why do they all keep choosing sides? They keep choosing sides that will hurt them. When will they learn?"
"Cowards."
Back here again. Pulling my two-tone hair, rubbing my heterochromic eyes, listening to voices scream and battle for control in my head.
"Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember Idontwanttoremember"
"But I have to remember because if I don't, then I won't have anything left. Even less than when I started."
There's always that stupid smiley face, it keeps coming back, I don't think I can stop it.
Liar. He is a liar. He doesn't care. He never did. Dream thinks he has control over everyone. Over everything.
"If Dream is bad, and I've done some of the same things, am I the bad guy?"
I saw Tommy leave. He was headed in the direction of the prison. It was huge, looming, threatening. I was confused, but not terribly worried.
Until a week later. The messages everyone could see pinged. You could almost hear a pin drop.
"He's dead. Tommy is not my fault. What happened was Sam's fault. I'm not responsible. Sam is."
I planted an allium next to his house.
"What am I? I'm someone who stops conflict. I need to make sure if any conflict arises that I will help in anyway possible. I need to make sure everyone is safe. Stop the conflict. Make the server better. This is what I need to do. Trust me."
They just need to trust me.
I'm not a traitor.
Or I don't think so.
I started to remember again.
There's another book. I don't know where it is. But I remember.
"Lesson 14: if you have the opportunity to gain a favor, take it"
"Lesson 27: don't reminisce on what you've lost. It will only weigh you down"
"Lesson 53: don't ever fully trust anyone"
"Lesson 67: leave no evidence of what you've helped with"
"Lesson 94: don't let them know what you've done"
Don't tell them what you've done. Don't tell them what you've done. Don't tell them what you've done.
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