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#couldn't resist the cardi b line hahaha
faithfulwarrior-og · 3 years
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I feel like Namaari and Raya just insult each other about things they actually find attractive. Like “hello there Princess Undercut” definitely translates to “damn her hairrr” in gay panic. This headcannon has been cracking me up all day lol (since there’s a lot of thoughts in this, I bolded the actual dialogue so it’d be easier to read...hopefully lol)
RAYA: Okay we got Miss Muscles over here being a complete asshat—
NAMAARI: *smirks* Jealous?
RAYA: [ugh, no I just want to touch them] I have my own muscles, thanks.
NAMAARI: Oh really. Where? [she’s so strong and pretty]
RAYA: Excuse me?! *flexes* What do you call these!
NAMAARI: [hot] Pfft. Not muscle.
RAYA: That’s not what you’re saying when I’m beating your ass—
NAMAARI: [oh she can beat my ass whenever she wants] Beating my ass? When. When did you ever beat my ass.
RAYA: Oh take a seat lemme just recite the list!
NAMAARI: *sits back in a very gay manner*
RAYA: [why is she so attractive it should be illegal] So first we have—
NAMAARI: [I wish she’d sit on my lap] How’s it feel to be tall, Dep La?
RAYA: —I was speaking, first of all, but uh just fine thanks! Because if you’re implying that I'm short, you’re blind.
NAMAARI: But you are short.
RAYA: *huffs* Just because I’m shorter than you doesn’t make me short. Just like how you being tall doesn’t make up for your small dick.
NAMAARI: *stands, ending up very close to Raya* Oh really? Well, I don’t even have one of those so—
RAYA: *trying not to laugh* I do. A pink one. In. my. dresser.
NAMAARI: [she is so childish] Oh my—
RAYA: Mmhm. Only thing big about you is your nose, binturi.
NAMAARI: [she asked for it] Don’t forget these. *holds up her hands*
RAYA: [ah. they look soft. want to hold.] *rolls her eyes* Oh please, those are normal-sized ha— *presses her hand against Namaari’s for comparison* —Oh. Actually, wow. You do have big-ass hands, damn. [THEY WERE SO SOFT]
NAMAARI: *smug af* [she touched my hand!!!!!]
RAYA: [if she gives me that look one more fucking time] Oh don’t look so pleased, I don’t need big hands to bust your lil fang teeth.
NAMAARI: [do it then] That’s interesting cuz they’re still here. *smiles*
RAYA: They’re stupid. So are your lips. [WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT]
NAMAARI: Yeah well—what? Did you just say my lips are stupid?? [she looked at my lips omg]
RAYA: Y-yes. [ew, don’t stutter!]
NAMAARI: *smirks and leans closer to her* What’s stupid about them, Dep La? [she smells amazing wow]
RAYA: [ah, close] Oh shut up.
NAMAARI: Make me. [wait--]
RAYA: *kisses her*
NAMAARI: ... [screaming]
RAYA: ... [screaming]
NAMAARI: I—
RAYA: *clears throat* I guess they’re not that stupid... [I want to kiss them forever]
NAMAARI: *coughs* Yours are... nice... [wife me]
SISU: *having returned from a bathroom break like halfway into their argument* You’re both stupid. It’s time for dinner.
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