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marvelousstevetony · 4 years

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would you do: Behind Closed Doors - (character) has a solid public face, but in private they let themselves be taken care of when they’re not well, for stevetony? thanks!

Ahh, anon, I love this prompt. It definitely gives me all the Tony-feels, so that’s what I went with. Hope you enjoy this little ficlet of sick!Tony and a very sweet Steve taking care of him. (2.1k words)

———

Had Steve not woken up to Tony’s stuffy, little snores, and had he not noticed the quiet sniffles and subtle nose rubs throughout breakfast, Steve would’ve never thought Tony was any less than a-okay. He would’ve kissed his boyfriend good morning with a gentle brush of their lips instead of pressing a peck to his temple, and he would’ve filled Tony’s mug with dark roasted coffee instead of lemon tea with honey. But Steve was… well, he was Steve, and though Tony was thought to be the genius of the two, Steve was an expert when it came to Tony Stark. It had not taken long, even in a sleep-induced haze, for Steve to conclude that Tony had caught a cold and that he was in for a very interesting morning. It went something like this:

Tony awoke to an empty bed that was still warm from where Steve had lain, which meant it could’ve only been about fifteen minutes since he’d left. Wincing at the sudden soreness he felt in his throat, he swallowed and coughed a few times as he scrubbed his hands over his face. He could hear pans clattering from the kitchen and figured Steve was making breakfast, but he wasn’t sure as he couldn’t smell anything through his blocked nose.

He was right, though, because when he emerged from the bedroom and entered the kitchen, Steve was stood at the stove —clad in his apron that said I am tortellini in love with you, which Tony had gifted him because it was the corniest thing he’d ever seen and therefore very Steve— and something that looked a lot like blueberry pancakes were sizzling on the pan in front of him.

“‘Morning,” Tony rasped, slumped onto the chair at the breakfast bar and smiled sleepily and murmured a quiet thanks when Steve handed over his mug, then went on to frowning at it when he realized it wasn’t coffee. Steve couldn’t help but chuckle and said “It’ll feel good on your throat” as a way of explaining, then continued to ask, “How’re you feeling, sweetheart?”

Tony shrugged and sniffled into the cuff of his long-sleeved t-shirt, and Steve gave a sympathetic hum in reply.

“How did you know something’s up? I literally just woke up,” the brunette said and grimaced when he sipped at the tea, muttering something along the lines of disgusting flower-water.

“It’s not flower-water, Tony, it’s lemon,” Steve said with a roll of his eyes. “You were snoring,” he clarified, unable to keep the fondness from his tone.

“I don’t snore,” Tony defended grumpily.

“You do,” Steve retorted with a laugh. Tony huffed. “Especially when you’re sick. Thus, tea and pancakes.”

“You’re a heathen and a saint, and I don’t know how to feel about that.” Tony narrowed his eyes, forging a thoughtful expression.

“I think you love it,” Steve said charmingly and reached over the counter to place a stack of blueberry pancakes drowned in maple syrup in front of Tony, sweet and warm and perfect.

They chatted as they ate, Steve talking about the new recruits he was training at the compound, Tony grumbling about the press conference he had to attend later that day. When Tony’s nose visibly twitched and his eyes began to flutter shut, Steve reached to grab a few tissues from a box on the kitchen counter and handed them to Tony, who gratefully accepted them just as he drew in a desperate breath.

“h’uhh- hetCHISHhew! snff… hehSCHss!” Tony muffled the sneezes into the tissues and sighed stuffily.

“God bless you, baby… If you’re sick you should cancel. Tony,” Steve said earnestly, frowning concernedly when Tony rolled his eyes.

“It’s just a small cold,” Tony shrugged, “I’ve worked through worse things.”

Taking Tony’s hands in his, Steve rubbed Tony’s knuckles with his thumbs, then brought their combined hands to his lips as he plastered a myriad of soft pecks on the back of Tony’s hand.

“I know you have,” Steve said in between the kisses, “but the things is… you really shouldn’t have to. I want to take care of you.”

“It won’t take long,” Tony offered, his voice low and warm despite the slight rasp. “And then, later, I’ll let you fuss about me all you want, Doctor Rogers,” he added with a playful wink and a blinding smile, and how was Steve ever going to argue with Tony when looked like that; soft and sweet and drop-dead gorgeous.

“You play dirty, Mr Stark,” Steve sighed and shook his head, unable to keep the creeping smile from tugging at his lips.

——————————————

Steve was sat in front of the television in the common room, reading through various forms and applications, when he caught sight of Tony’s face in the large frame of moving pictures. He looked amazing, he always did, clad in a casual suit that fitted him faultlessly. It accentuated his body in all the right places, his shoulders, his waist, his butt… Steve caught his bottom lip between his teeth, and placed the piece of paper he was holding on the coffee table. Now that he was already distracted, he might as well watch his boyfriend outwit all the reporters.

Tony maneuvered his way through all question he was asked with ease; a trademark quip and an equally characteristic charming wink.

“Mr Stark! Rumor has it you and Captain America have separated. What’s your respond to this?”

Steve had seen the reporter before, multiple times, actually. Short, blonde, eyes so wide and piercing it made Steve a little uncomfortable looking at them. She worked for one of the tabloids, the one with all the celebrity gossip and that published an article about Iron Man and Captain America breaking up about every three months. The rumors were never true, of course, but Steve still felt a prickly feeling in his chest whenever he’d read what they’d written. Even just the headlines made his blood boil.

Tony Stark cheating on boyfriend Steve Rogers!

Trouble in Avengers Tower: Power-couple SPLITTING UP!

Iron Man leaving Captain America for personal assistant!

Tony had advised Steve not to read them — it never left him in a good mood and it was all a bunch of bullshit anyways. Steve couldn’t help it though and, as expected, he was furious at the fact that anyone dared calling his boyfriend a bedswerver. Tony just shrugged it off, I’ve gotten used to it, he’d say and laugh at Steve’s grumpy mutterings and adorable pout. The rumors didn’t matter, though, they both knew where they stood in terms of their relationship, both feet planted solidly, their names invisibly engraved deeply into each other’s chest. Which is why Steve barely even flinched when the reporter asked the question.

“Ugh, I wish. He’s such a distraction sometimes and never lets me work overtime. He’s all kinds of stubborn, though, so I doubt I can get rid of him that easily. And, he makes sure I’m alive, so I might just hang on to him until I get bored,” Tony said nonchalantly, but eyes twinkled and his tone was fond and left no doubt that they were still very much together.

Steve felt warmth rise to his cheeks and went back to reading the recruitment forms.

Every once in a while, he’d look up to catch a glimpse of Tony. If Steve hadn’t already known Tony was nursing a cold, he never would’ve guessed it. Tony was so good at switching between his public figure and the man underneath the armor, wether it was a three piece suit or his actual Iron Man amour. It made Steve sad, in a way, knowing Tony had so much experience pretending that it didn’t even bother him anymore. He loved Tony in every way, but he never hid the fact that his favorite Tony was the one who dressed in worn-out band t-shirts or Steve’s sweatshirts that were way too big on him. The one who sang and danced along to the overly loud music playing in the workshop and who didn’t care that he looked ridiculous doing so. The one who clung onto Steve like a koala bear when they were tangled up in bed, refusing to let go of him in his sleep-warm haze.

God, Steve really wanted that press conference to finish.

————————

It did finish, and not too long after, Steve heard the doors to the elevator open, revealing a tired and soft looking Tony.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Steve said as he got off the couch and walked to where Tony was taking off his jacket and kicking off his shoes. He started helplessly fumbling with his tie, but Steve quickly intervened. “Here, let me do that.”

Tony sighed thankfully, closing his eyes when Steve’s strong hands removed the fabric around his neck and sighed once more when Steve stroked his jaw with his thumb.

“You alright?” Steve asked softly and moved his hand closer to Tony’s face, tracing his index finger down the bridge of his nose. The gentle touch seemed to have an immediate effect as Tony’s nose twitched, and he drew back a couple of inches before turning away from Steve, crushing a fit of sneezes into his fist.

“hetCHISHhew! hetCHshh’oo!” Steve chuckled as Tony’s body shuddered slightly with each sneeze, and with a fond voice commented, “So sensitive when you’re sick.”

Tony managed to give him a disapproving glare before letting out a final sneeze.“huh’uhh… huhESChhh! snff! Ugh, sorry, excuse me.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Steve murmured, “you’ve probably been been holding those off all day, hm?”

Tony sniffled into his wrist and smiled wryly. “I guess so, yeah… didn’t really think of it, to be honest.”

“I truly don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?”

“How you handle all those reporters, all those stupid questions. Especially when you’re this sick, babe.” Steve voice was a mixture of pure awe and deep concern.

Tony shrugged. “I guess I’ve gotten used to it. Stark men are made of iron and all that jazz. They’re just stupid reporters, anyways.”

Steve bit his lip, drawing Tony in close until he felt Tony’s stubble rub against his neck. “Yeah I- I know. It’s just… those articles, what they’re saying about you, it makes me so… so angry, and I-“

“Hey, no, none of that,” Tony interrupted. “I couldn’t care less about what those reporters say, hell, what anyone says about me. The only opinion I care about is yours.”

Steve sighed with a watery smile Tony couldn’t see. “I love you,” he said and leaned in to press a kiss to Tony’s forehead, which was warm, too warm, and frowned. “God, Tony, you’re burning up. You must be feeling awful.”

The cough Tony let out into Steve’s sweater confirmed that statement, but for good measure Tony said, “yeah, I think I need to lie down soon. I’m kinda tired and, uh, I-ihh, heh- huhETsch’oo! ehH’eschoo!”

“Bless you! How about you get ready for bed, and I’ll bring you soup and then some tea afterwa-“

“No! No tea,” Tony disrupted and winced just at the thought of it, “None of that yucky flower-water.”

Rolling his eyes, Steve let out a laugh and tried once again to explain that lemon tea wasn’t flower-water, and Tony just muttered tastes like flowers to me, but neither could bring themselves to discuss the matter any further.

“Okay, so no tea then. Soup, maybe some medicine, tissues, definitely, and— Tony, no.”

Steve’s expression went flat and stern when he looked down at Tony, who in return was looking up at the blonde with big, brown doe-eyes, pouting. “But Steeeve-“

“No, Tony, absolutely not!” Steve repeated. “No coffee, you’re sick and need to rest.”

Tony groaned dramatically. “Such a spoilsport. I guess you’ll have to compensate the lack of coffee with cuddles instead, then.”

“Cuddles instead of coffee?” Steve asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise when Tony nodded into his shoulder. “Now that is probably the best negotiation I could’ve hoped for.”

About thirty minutes later, the two of them were snuggled up in bed, an empty bowl on the nightstand, tissues scattered randomly across the bed, and some movie neither of them knew the name of was playing on the tv. Steve had him arm around Tony’s shoulder, feeling the heat from Tony’s cheek on his chest through his thin t-shirt. It wasn’t hard to tell the moment Tony drifted off to sleep, the way he cuddled even closer to Steve and his quiet, small snores were enough to tell Steve that he was finally resting.

#my fic #anonymous #stevetony #sickfic #sick Tony #and a very sweet caretaker-Steve #my babies #steve rogers #tony stark

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oneawkwardcookie · 3 years

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24, 28, 29, 37 for fic asks 💜

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

No, but I’ve come super close with two of them. Thankfully, I have people to talk me down from my panic!

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Ooh now, just three isn’t fair at all! Since I know I’m bound to miss someone important out, I’d rather not risk it 😅 Just go into my fic rec tag, or my fanfiction tag for that matter, since I only really reblog stuff I’ve read and liked!

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Ooooh, I mean, I could always do with more Bollywood!Buddie, so: more in the jis raah bhi jaaun (tujhko hi chaahun) universe (sequels for days)

37. Talk about your current wips.

Buck Begins - does what it says on the tin, and already has a video for it!

Cake Boss - a few headcanons in a trench coat pretending to be a WIP

Nothing Normal Happens at 4am - ... maybe I’ll leave off a supernatural crossover for now!

The Heart is a Difficult Thing - I just need to sit down and work out the ending to this, because it’s a Bollywood!AU but I need to really think about whether I go for the original ending or something more... favourable

Grease AU - basically just for @kitkat0723 😅 this is kinda one of those ‘if you send me asks about it, I’ll come up with stuff on the spot like the worst stage magician you’ve ever seen’

Sweetcorn - the corniest of fics, and the worst working title I have ever come up with 🤣

London Calling - London fic, because what’s the point of living in the greatest city in the world if I don’t use it as a setting!

Timing - character pieces for Buddie and Madney

Chim’s Stag Do - the second piece that I thought of for the Hot and Cold series, but the actual words (and plot) have somehow evaded me

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

#ask answered #thanks nikki #these were rather involved questions 😁#i've left out one WIP that I actually need to delete from my WIP document #because it's too tragic #then again... maybe that's what I need to flush the angst from my system... 😈#I'll just write it and not publish it #otherwise kat might kill me! 😂#fyeahbuddie

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ponett · 5 years

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Welp... it’s over. After nine years, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is over. I just got done watching the series finale with Anthony and, just like I knew I would, when the credits rolled, I cried my eyes out

I should probably say something, huh. I’ve been sharing thoughts like this mostly on Twitter lately, but I started using Tumblr to blog about MLP, so I don’t think it would be right to post this anywhere else

I have a complicated relationship with MLP:FiM. It’s a show that got really hit or miss after the second season, and it has a fandom so toxic and so full of edgy libertarians that it scared me off from formally participating in fandoms for the rest of my life. But it’s also probably my favorite TV show of all time. There are other shows that are much better written, that have more to say, that are more consistent, even including several other cartoons from the same decade. But I think I’d be lying to myself if I said it wasn’t my favorite show

No other piece of media has had as massive of an impact on my life as My Little Pony

I grew closer to some of my closest high school friends because of our shared enthusiasm for the show. I started PonyPokey with Jake and Derek and made a bunch of bad videos and got invited to be on a wildly disorganized BronyCon panel with Jenny Nicholson in 2012. (We went on stage immediately after Lauren Faust’s panel. I barely said a word due to stage fright.)

After years of being too afraid to share my art online, I started putting more effort into learning digital art so that I could draw ponies. It started out rough, but with the drive to improve, I quickly got better. I started Fluttershy Replies. For the first time, I had an audience. I had people who cared about my work and supported me. Even as times have changed, many of you have been following me since way back then

Around the time I came out as bi in 2012, I got really into MLP shipping. Writing sappy comics and drawing sappy art became an outlet for my years of pent up feelings, and helped me sort out a lot of stuff. My Little Pony also completely changed the views on femininity that had been beaten into my skull since childhood. Suddenly, it wasn’t this strange, alien thing to be afraid of. MLP, at its heart, is a show about how there’s no wrong way to be a girl. That’s an incredibly powerful message. Rarity wasn’t a vapid snob. Fluttershy wasn’t a background character who got made into the butt of the joke. Pinkie wasn’t a ditz. These were characters written to be empathized with. And writing about my own feelings from the perspective of Fluttershy felt... right. It took me a few years to fully process those feelings, but eventually, I realized the truth. I was a trans woman. And a cartoon about horses was the first step on my path to realizing this

In 2013, one of the roughest years of my life, I decided to download RPG Maker on a whim to give myself a distraction. Naturally, my first instinct was to make a game where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash kiss. What was initially supposed to be a short, Fantastic Game-esque playground of silly little jokes spiraled out of control and became Super Lesbian Horse RPG, a game that I poured my heart and soul into over the course of a year. And then, a couple years later, my desire to preserve the ideas from my copyright-infringing fangame also spiraled out of control, as all my creative projects do, and became SLHRPG’s successor: Super Lesbian Animal RPG. SLARPG isn’t really a reskinned MLP fangame anymore--it’s more like a new game inspired in part by my old project. The story has been drastically rewritten, the characters changed, the levels and gameplay redesigned. Most of the cast of the new game wasn’t in the original project in any form. There’s much, much, much, much, much more new content than old left in the game. And the original game had already strayed so far from the canon anyway. But I’m also not sure it would exist without MLP

I made a bunch of friends online, including close friends I still have to this day. I met the people like Bee and Thomas who I’m still working with on SLARPG. Most importantly, because we both blogged about MLP and had some mutual friends, I met Anthony, the love of my life. We’ve been together for five years now and supported each other through good times and bad. This is the lamest, corniest, stupidest thing I will ever say in my life, but he’s the Rainbow Dash to my Fluttershy

...

So what about the finale itself? (spoilers, obviously)

I have... mixed feelings on the finale. There were some things that really annoyed me in there. But also, like I said, I cried, so I think it’s safe to say they did good overall

I think the thing that stuck in my craw the most was Discord. Which I guess shouldn’t be surprising. I’ve been saying for years now how I hate Discord, how he spits in the face of everything the show stands for. He’s an obnoxious elderly manchild who constantly causes problems on purpose and torments his so-called friends the second they stop paying attention to him. But they have to put up with him and give him infinite second chances, because he’s a god and Celestia said they had to reform him

The overarching plot of the final season is that Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, and Cozy Glow (a Darla Dimple-esque filly villain from season 8) had teamed up with Grogar, a “new” villain taken from G1. While this goes on in the background, Twilight is making her preparations to become Celestia’s successor, as we’d known would be her destiny since the day she got wings six years ago. The villain team-up stuff was genuinely fun, and a highlight of the season for me. But then, in the three-part finale, it’s revealed that Grogar was actually Discord in disguise, and that he’d been intentionally trying to orchestrate a big attack on Twilight’s coronation so that she and her friends could save the day and get a big confidence boost going into her reign as princess. This is like... one of the most bafflingly stupid plot twist of all time. It’s literally the end of the show, and Discord has learned nothing. He’s “nice” now, but he’s still intentionally causing huge problems and putting everyone’s lives in danger to solve his problems. He freed four different villains they’d already defeated just so Twilight could beat them again, and in the process they literally blew up the goddamn castle in Canterlot and nearly killed everyone. And yet... they still forgive him, because they have to

I did, however, think that the last two-part adventure episode was fun overall. It tied a nice bow on much of the series, bringing back a bunch of old friends (including cameos from the movie cast!) to band together and save the day. Of course, in the end, they beat the bad guys with a big rainbow laser and sealed them in a statue. You know, even though a previous season finale was all about how solving their problems with a friendship laser and sealing the villains away never worked. Also, Cozy Glow might be evil, but she’s still literally a child? And now her petrified body is on display in the center of Canterlot? What the fuck????

I’m complaining a lot, but again. It was fun overall. It was nice to have one last big adventure, and to have the mane six reflect on how they’d grown since Twilight moved to Ponyville

...

And then we got the actual final episode. And boy did this one hit me HARD

I’m so glad that they ended on a quieter episode about the main cast’s friendships, because that’s what the show is actually about. The two-part adventures to save Equestria every season are fun, but that’s not the real show. We all came back every week for Twilight and her friends

There are things I can complain about here, too. Spike being a buff adult dragon with the voice of a child is fucked up. I’m still not used to seeing Twilight be Celestia’s size. But more than anything, I was always worried that we’d get a Harry Potter ending, where all the characters are paired off into arbitrary marriages so they can all have kids. Thankfully, this didn’t really happen. The only one who had a kid was Pinkie, who apparently got married to Cheese Sandwich (Weird Al’s character) at some point. Like, they literally shared two episodes together, with no hint of romance? But then they got married and had a kid off-screen??? What the fuck???? A lot of people also think that Fluttershy ended up with Discord, and I know I’m massively biased against that ship, but... I mean, they teased the FlutterCord shippers, but there wasn’t really any actual textual evidence that they were any closer than they had been previously. Y’all weirdos who ship Fluttershy with an obnoxious elderly man can interpret that as being “canon” if you want, I guess, but it’s not

The other relationship that shocked everyone in the finale was Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who... appear to be a couple? It’s definitely hinted at. I have... very, very mixed feelings about this. I mean, okay, obivously I’m the big FlutterDash fangirl. But I think AppleDash is cute, too! The problem is that, like... they’ve barely interacted in years? Like, they had a lot of episodes together in the first two seasons, but then the writers barely ever had them interact past that point. I can’t even remember when the last time we got an actual episode focusing on them was. And no, the one where Rainbow takes Granny Smith to pony Vegas doesn’t count

Like... yeah, it’s cute. It’s a nice gesture. Lyra and Bon Bon getting married in the background was also cute. But we can do so, so much better in 2019. We have so many explicitly canon lesbian couples in cartoons. Couples that actually kissed, or got married, or showed feelings for each other. Rainbow and AJ barely even fucking talked to each other in the final few seasons. I dunno, it just feels very hollow to me. Even the Equestria Girls crew admitting they were pushing RariJack felt more substantial to me, because at least they were given on-screen chemistry and lots of canon interaction

But in the end, complaints aside, the finale was about Twilight moving back to Canterlot, and worrying that her friendships would fade because of it. Honestly, I think this is what the finale of the show always would’ve been. It was the perfect story to end on. And boy, it hit really close to home

And then the last song happens, reflecting on how things have changed, but how they’re all still friends. And we see all the other friends they made along the way. And the camera zooms out, and the book from the opening of the very first episode closes, bringing the entire nine-year saga full circle

And then I started sobbing really hard in Anthony’s arms

...

I dunno. I just got done nitpicking a lot, but I still think that the last episode was a good and very emotional ending for the show

I’m going to miss this show dearly. I know it will be back in a new form, and that the leaks indicate that it’ll still star slightly different versions of the Mane Six. I’m also used to shows like this getting rebooted. Hasbro cartoons are honestly lucky to last past three seasons. FiM, on the other hand, got over 200 episodes, a theatrical film, a few specials, some shorts, a bunch of comics (which I still need to read), and a spinoff human AU series that was also really great. There’s no shortage of content, and I’m sure I’ll be returning to the series for years to come. I’m also glad that the show managed to go out on a high note

But still. It was a constant presence in my life for nearly nine years. Even as the quality got really hit or miss, even as they took the premise in strange directions, even as the crew of the show grew more and more dominated by men, it was still a show I could rely on to always be there, 26 episodes a year. I’ll miss it. I hope what comes next is just as good, if not even better. I also hope it’s gayer

I was going to end my ask blog, Fluttershy Replies, around the time the show ended. I’m not sure if I’ll do that just yet. I don’t know. I think that might be a bit much for me to process emotionally. Too many doors closing in my life in quick succession. But I do want to do more with it. These characters will be special to me for the rest of my life

I mean shit, I haven’t even drawn StarTrix yet. I’ve still got a lot of work to do with these horses, folks

#bobby thinks about horses

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corny-pickuplines · 4 years

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Corny Pick Up Lines that are very Cheesy to Impress your Crush!

Here are the best Cheesy Corny Pick Up Lines that will help you to impress your crush in a random style. Are you want to impress your dream girl whom you like, but can’t able to say anything in front of her. Then these corniest pick up lines would help you to break the ice and start an awesome conservation to her.

200+ Corny Pick Up Lines For Her

We have Collected the best collection of Corny Pick Up Lines for you, So that you can easily use in front of any person whom you want to impress.

Are you French because Eiffel for you.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause I can see myself in your pants!

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!

Are you religious? Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

Hey, tie your shoes! I don’t want you falling for anyone else

Do I know you? ‘Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend/boyfriend..

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

For some reason, I was feeling a little off today. But when you came along, you definitely turned me on.

Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout!

Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend/girlfriend material?

What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.

Are you sure you’re not tired? You’ve been running through my mind all day.

Somebody call the cops, because it’s got to be illegal to look that good!

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?

If you were a steak you would be well done.

Is there an airport nearby or is it my heart taking off?

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice

We're not socks. But I think we'd make a great pair.

Your lips look so lonely…Would they like to meet mine?

Are you a parking ticket? ‘Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

Thank god I'm wearing gloves because you are too hot to handle.

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

Pinch me, you’re so fine I must be dreaming.

If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.

How much does a polar beat weight? Enough to break the ice!

Are you a 90 degree angle? Cause you are looking right!

Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are... gorgeous!

If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.

Are you Israeli? Cause you Israeli hot.

On a scale from 1 to 10, you're a 9... And I'm the 1 you need.

Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven?

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together.

Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that.

My love for you is like diarrhoea, I just can't hold it in.

Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.

If you were a library book, I would check you out.

Are you a cat because I'm feline a connection between us

If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art.

You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

Feel my t-shirt, it’s made of boyfriend material.

You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

Your name must be Coca Cola, because you're so-da-licious.

You're like a dictionary... you add meaning to my life.

My doctor says I'm lacking vitamin U.

Did your licence get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

Do you like sales? Because if you're looking for a good one, clothing is 100% off at my place.

I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I think you're the gratest.

If you were a triangle you'd be acute one.

Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day.

My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off.

Wow, when god made you he was showing off.

If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

Is your name Wi-fi? Because I'm really feeling a connection.

If looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction.

Do you have a tan, or do you always look this hot?

Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.

If I were a cat I'd spend all 9 lives with you.

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.

Are you from Japan cause I'm trying to get in Japanties.

If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple.

I'll give you a kiss. If you don't like it, you can return it.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?

When a penguin finds a mate they stay with them for the rest of their life. Will you be my penguin?

Can I take a picture of you so santa knows what I want for christmas?

I'm new in town, could you give me directions to your apartment?

I'll cook you dinner, if you cook me breakfast

What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?

Good thing I just bought term life insurance … because I saw you and my heart stopped!

If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in a higher tax bracket.

Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?

You’re so sweet, you’re giving me a toothache.

Did you swallow magnets? Cause you're attractive.

Are you from China? Because I'm China get your number.

Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?

Are you craving Pizza? Because I’d love to get a pizz-a you

Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together.

Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?

Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

You must be a ninja, because you snuck into my heart

Can you pinch me, because you're so fine I must be dreaming.

I may not be a genie, but I can make all your wishes come true!

Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications.

I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.

Are you a keyboard ? Because you are my type.

There is something wrong with my phone. Could you call it for me to see if it rings?

I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only 10 I see!

Are you a beaver? Cause daaaaaaaaam!

Life without you is like a broken pencil... pointless.

If I had a garden I’d put your tulips and my tulips together

Did you hear of the new disease called beautiful, I think you're infected.

I thought Happiness starts with H. But why does mine starts with U.

If you were a vegetable you'd be a cutecumber.

You know what you would really look beautiful in? My arms.

My mom thinks I'm gay, can you help me prove her wrong?

Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)

Is your body from McDonald's? Cause I'm lovin' it!

Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

Is your name Google? Because you've got everything I'm searching for.

Your hand looks heavy. Here, let me hold it for you.

I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look.

Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte.

Are you a banana because I find you a peeling.

Do you like vegetables because I love you from my head tomatoes.

Have you been to the doctor's lately? Cause I think you're lacking some vitamin me.

Do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydro power? Because dammmm.

Do you like science because I've got my ion you.

Are you my appendix? Because I don't understand how you work but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.

Best Corny Pick Up Lines

When you know how to make good Corny Pick Up Lines women can feel attracted to you, it is not hard to have a relationship with them. You do not need to try very hard and when you see your little gifts for her as a way of showing appreciation for her kindness then it will make it even easier.

How many times has a man kept talking about how he likes someone when he really doesn't like them? That is what this kind of conversations is called. So, while you are actually talking you should not start thinking about how you will get your woman to like you.

Cheesy Pick Up Lines

The key to this is to use simple words that are not really mean but give the idea that you are just being nice. In fact this is probably the best way to do this because you do not need to pretend that you are looking for her approval. These Cheesy Pick Up Lines would really help you to impress her.

By using the idea of compliments you are giving her a great suggestion to be sure she is attracted to you. The more compliments she gets the more attention she will give you and that will give you some space for your game to take off.

It is true that some guys are the only ones who can play with words and are the ones who have great jokes and funny lines. The other things that you can do to get her to like you are obviously the most important and the one that will make you the sexiest man in the world.

You do not need to try and trick her but rather you should pay attention to her and make her feel like she is special to you. You should go out of your way to make her feel that she is special and she is beautiful.

Best Pick Up Lines

This is one of the most important things that you should do and the language that you use will be one of the most important. This is where Best Pick Up Lines come in because these are the words that can really make you seem like the most romantic man in the world.

It is important to learn this language because you will be using it when you try to attract girls but the only problem is that you do not know how to use it correctly. With the help of the Pick Up Lines online there are a few ways that you can begin.

These will give you an opportunity to practice your language and learn some of the other points that you need to use. You do not need to spend a lot of money on this but if you could do it at home you will be much happier.

Keep your confidence high so that you can get your point across. If you want to get her attention then you should be able to use all the charm that you can so you can get some fun.

By taking some time to learn the language you will be able to make some excellent picks and pick up lines to go along with your game. You can then use this knowledge and get some great girls to fall in love with you.

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amanharwara · 4 years

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Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By (Album Review)

“Music To Be Murdered By” is the latest release from the legendary rapper, Eminem. This is his eleventh studio album. Eminem released the album on 17th January without any prior announcement, similar to his previous album Kamikaze.

As you might know, Eminem is one of the biggest-selling artists of the previous decades. Very few artists manage to touch his sales numbers. Even the two of his worst albums managed to put up numbers that for most rappers would be their highest. Needless to say, he is one of the biggest artists in the world with a huge global audience. A lot of his audience is very passionate, which is one of the reasons all of his albums seem to do so well.

The project is a double-album, including two labeled introductions and one labeled outro. For those of you who don’t know what a double-album is, it is composed of two different albums. This one, in particular, is split into two portions containing 10 songs each. The album features 12 artists across eight songs, including artists like Ed Sheeran, the late Juice WRLD, Royce, Black Thought and Q-Tip. The album title and cover have been inspired by one of the most influential and prominent directors and filmmakers of all time, Alfred Hitchcock and his album, “Music To Be Murdered By”. Multiple songs on the album reference him.

His previous two releases have been inadequate trash. Revival and Kamikaze are two of Eminem’s worst albums ever released. Although, don’t take my word for it. You might want to give them each a listen yourself to understand why I say that. My gripes with Revival were the bad production, absolutely cringe lyrics and some of the worst flows. Kamikaze continued that trend of bad lyricism mixed with bad flows, and also attacked new-age rap like a grumpy old man. Two consistently terrible records from someone whose music I enjoyed and adored for a long time is the reason I went into this album with very low expectations. And let me tell you, the album barely manages to exceed even those low expectations.

The album starts with the intro, titled “Premonition.” Em continues the attack on “mumble rap” that he started on Kamikaze. He also talks about his career on the track, from his years of being one of the undisputed rap legends to being bombarded by criticism for his previous few records. The track features a generic trap beat, instances of which can be found on quite a few other songs on the album. However, the one on this track is at least a bit bearable. The track contains its fair share of corny lyrics. At a point, he is boasting about being “as fly as your zipper.” I think the track sets us up perfectly for what the whole album is going to be.

Next up is the “Unaccommodating,” featuring Young M.A. The track contains one of the better trap beats on the record. Also, M.A.’s feature is one of the saving graces on the album. This is because she can flow well on the beat, unlike the certain another rapper on the track. Although, I’ve got to give credit where it’s due. Em is pretty good at this “fast rapping” game that white kids from the suburbs love. If rap was all about talking fast, then Em would be the GOAT, of course. But that’s not the case. One thing I found funny about this track is the line where Em says that his pupils have gotten cornier. Yeah Em, that’s because they’re learning from one of the corniest teachers ever, you. He comes up with some of the wackest lines, I swear. “Where’s Osama been? I been laden lately” This is a line from the chorus of the track. The track contains even more corny lines, peep:

“Cause I met your bitch on the internet now I’m getting head like a Pillow Pet”

“That’s why they call me Kamikaze, it’s plain suicide, yeah”

Em’s old friend and frequent collaborator, Royce da 5'9", joins him on the track “You Gon’ Learn” along with White Gold. White Gold comes in with the chorus, which sounds rather boring to me. Royce comes in with an amazing flow that fits well on the beat. Although, he did make me cringe hard at the colonoscopy line. Overall, his verse is very enjoyable to listen to. Em comes in with his verse containing some very corny lyrics. He has mastered the art of corniness at this point. At least, his flow is a bit better on the track. I couldn’t even be bothered to put up some of the corny lyrics here. I’d recommend you give the track a listen and find out yourself.

Ed Sheeran collaborates once more with Em on the track “Those Kinda Nights.” This is one of the most trash tracks I’ve heard on the album, with some horrendous lyrics. Also, the flow on this one is annoying and irritating. The chorus by Ed is bland and nothing special. I can’t put into words how much I dislike this track.

“In Too Deep” describes details of a toxic relationship that Em and his partner were involved in. I do like the slow and kinda punchy beat on this one. However, I can’t say the same about Em’s rapping. I mean, it’s not as terrible as the rapping on some other tracks, but it’s not any good either. On the chorus, he goes back to his Recovery style of singing which doesn’t sound too good. This is an average track, better than some of the worst tracks but nothing too good.

“Godzilla” starts with Em’s annoying staccato flow which then evolves into an amalgamation of the annoying staccato and the annoying fast rap. The beat on this is good, though, pretty fun to listen to. But that is the only good thing about the track. I was hoping when Juice WRLD (R.I.P) comes in, that it would be at least a bit more enjoyable to listen to. However, even that expectation of mine was deceived. I didn’t enjoy the track other than the beat.

The track “Darkness” interpolates “The Sound of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel. I’ve gotta be honest with you, the track has grown on me at least a little bit since I first heard it. While the beat is a little bit generic, I do like it. It is slow and kinda melodic, sets the tone for the lyrical content. Speaking of which, the song is written from the perspective of the murderer responsible for the largest mass shooting in US history. It also brings to notice the gun control problem in the US. This is one of the tracks that I think is good and you should give this one a listen.

“Leaving Heaven” sees Em reflecting on his success and what turned him into the person that he is today. He raps about extreme resilience after having been put under very terrible circumstances by life. The beat sounds reminiscent of something that would be on MMLP2. When the Skylar Grey-sung chorus hit for the first time, it did interest me a tiny bit. But that interest waned off by the second time the chorus hit. Also, Em seems to fall back into his annoying staccato rhythm on the verses on the track. Another below-average song, which while not terrible, leaves a lot of room for improvement.

Next might be the only song on the album that I’ve enjoyed thoroughly. And that song is “Yah Yah,” with its amazing use of sampling. It samples Busta Rhymes’ “Woo Hah!! Got You All In Check,” which is a song that I enjoy a lot myself. Denaun went crazy with the beat on this one. The features list on this track is pretty amazing as well, featuring Royce, Q-Tip who you might know from “A Tribe Called Quest” and his solo work, and Black Thought who you might know because of his amazing rap prowess and his work with his group “The Roots.” While I would’ve loved a verse by Q-Tip, he is only featured on the chorus along with Royce. Royce’s verse is pretty good, followed by another good verse from Black Thought. It’s good that Em’s verse is at the end, which makes it easier to skip.

On the twelveth track of the album, “Stepdad” Em attacks his deadbeat dad for leaving him and his mother when he was still a toddler. I hate the chorus on this one. Em’s flow on this sounds similar to some of his older works like Relapse and The Eminem Show. While the flow can start sounding a little annoying at times, it isn’t as bad as the chorus. And the lyrics are pretty good and not much corny when compared to other songs on the album.

The latter half of the album falls flat on its face and is even annoying at points. Marsh is one hell of an annoying song. I can’t even sum up my hatred for it. I’m sorry but I don’t have anything to say about this garbage. Never Love Again sounds like something out of Revival. Little Engine has an interesting and fun beat to it, but the chorus is annoying and Em’s lyrics aren’t any good. Lock It Up’s Anderson Paak feature is alright, nowhere near what my expectations thought it would be. Farewell is another piece of garbage with extremely cringe lyrics and annoying delivery. No Regrets contains a feature from Don Toliver which I couldn’t really care about. It sounds like a very generic trap song. The final song I Will is a reunion of most of the members of Slaughterhouse. This is a bearable track with an alright chorus from Em and an alright beat.

Overall, the album is another disappointment in the Eminem catalog. However, it’s not as much of a colossal letdown that his previous two albums were. It is a huge improvement when compared to Revival and Kamikaze. One of the good things about the album is that Eminem finally collaborated some new artists from the “mumble rap” scene instead of acting like a grumpy old man waving his cane at the kids. While some of the songs sound like generic trap songs, there a few good songs here and there. Some songs are absolute garbage and some are tolerable. It’s a below-average album from someone who I still think is capable of bringing better music than this.

Rating: 4 / 10

#music #music review #album #album review #eminem #music to be murdered by #alfred hitchcock #hiphop #rap #anderson .paak #royce da 5'9"#black thought #q tip

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