#contains: several doodles; sword hot potato; twice the amount of scalie as usual | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

getallemeralds · 1 year

Text

doip. / 2.21.23

first doip of the new year! aaaand i wish i was asleep. <- woke up early for physical therapy joined vc while jorb was rehearsing the intro. OOPS. gives me time to reread my notes! OH YEAH ALSO THIS SESSION IS SPECIAL. alongside doip., our gracious dm jorb has been running a one-player campaign with @bahamutgreen! which is taking place in the same area and time period as doip., and seeing as we're down a guy and green's been having fun in her solo campaign, she's joining in! Chaos Ensues.

me: [talking abt how im tired] jorb: don't worry, the binturong can drive the bus me: yeah, i'll give the binturong my keys, why not

[still farting about before the session starts] jorb: chaos, chaos! i can do anything! me: i roll to do anything. where is my dice [one dice-finding montage later] me: 60! jorb: you can teleport up to 60 feet away that you can see. me: cool. i teleport 60 feet straight up

me: i've already misread some of my flavour text as "you can't discern color in darkness, only shades of gay." green: amen. jorb: 50 shades of gay. me: NOOOOOOOOO

jorb: alright it is 4:20 in my timezone- me: nice. jorb: -are we ready to begin?

LAST TIME, ON DRAGON OF ICESPIRE PEAK! After reutrning from Neverwinter with new supplies in toe, our heroes . i have fucked this up so bad. we beat up the rats, fixed donjon's ratness, and then tobias journeyed off into the wilderness. farewell my guy. time to go to dragon barrow! Will they be able to brave the dangers alone? Find out… today!

nyx: fun fact: binturongs smell like popcorn. green: this is the best animal ever.

nameless has depression! TIME TO GO FIND A SWORD. [me getting stepped on by pepper while jorb and nyx do narrative]

nyx: i turn into binturong form and climb up on alidaar. me: alidaar is grateful for his cold resistance. nyx: nameless has wet little hands. me: alidaar does not have wet resistance. nyx: does he have little hands resistance? me: no.

ran into a hobgoblin on the way! (jorb faked us out into thinking it was green's character. rude.) apparently there's lights over the barrow at night! green: yooo, aliens pog me: WHAT DO I ROLL FOR UFO nyx: anything can be a ufo if it's unidentified and flying. you could throw a pancake REALLY FAST

hobgoblin: once you're done in the barrow, could you help me with something? alidaar: yeah, sure, i love throwing out helping hands to anybody that crosses my path- that. sounded more sarcastic than i meant it to. I'D LOVE TO HELP! [..] me: OUR GUY THAT TALKS GOOD AT THINGS TURNED INTO A RAT, I'M DOING MY BEST

apparently the hogbogling . fuck. the hobgoblin . hoblin. the hoblin (targor bloodsword) had a bad run-in with the followers of talos and his whole squad died (HE DIDN'T LOSE 25% OF HIS SQUAD. HE DIDN'T LOSE HALF OF HIS SQUAD. HE LOST HIS ENTIRE SQUAD. sorry ive been overtaken by demons) so we're gonna help him out after we check out the barrow

green: i can chat as barrel crab.

the lights have vanished! definitely not spooky. I ACCIDENTALL Y ROLLED AS THE BARREL CRAB adventure paused while i draw my cat. NYX'S ROOMMATE ALSO HAS A CAT NAMED PEPPER pepper distraction time

alidaar: i throw nameless [up the slope] and run up. jorb: IT'S 30 FEET! alidaar: ok i don't do that YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAA KEPESK! kepesk!! kepesk is trying to do.. something?? there's a bunch of stone spikes on the barrow and kepesk is messing with one of them. and failing. alidaar and nameless just kinda Watch

kepesk: IS THAT A BINTURONG? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE alidaar: i heard there was a cool sword, do you need help? nameless: [turns into a bear] kepesk: THAT IS NOT A BINTURONG

with the power of teamwork (two lizards and a bear), we have nat20'd this bitch open! kepesk: i'm just here for fun! jorb: roll a deception check. me: [STARTLED LAUGHTER] kepesk: i'm not here for a sword and i can share very good.

[derail about halfling!nameless climbing all over alidaar like weevils and kepesk thinking they're alidaar's kid]

after hearing alidaar talk about wanting to kill a dragon, kepesk handed over the map of the barrow! apparently he wanted to steal the sword bc he thought it sounded cool but figures we'll get actual use out of it. alidaar's chill with it though

me: is this place empty? i probably should've checked for traps or something- jorb: as you round the corner you see- me: AH, (it's a will-o-wisp! they're little bitches and resistant to a lot of things. a lot of things including "just about everything alidaar can do and most of what nameless can")

nameless decides to approach the willowisp! nameless: i step.. more- jorb: ok you fall into the pit [...] nyx: i have a spell called 'find traps', why didnt i use it?! me: we haven't had traps before-- green, desolate: i did. [...] kepesk: you think they're ok?? alidaar: no. [walks in]

rescued nameless! thankfully alidaar has rope. and also thankfully nameless has not gotten fantasy tetanus. or fancy tetanus kepesk: i have a potion of healing, if you need it - not that i. care or anything me: great, the lizard is tsundere (affectionate)

new plan of action: THROW NAMELESS. jorb: just gotta do some googling real quick.. me: where there's a will there's a way! nyx: where there's a will there's a wisp

OH MY GOD I GOT A NAT20

nameless tried to thorn wip the willowisp in mid-air and missed. and also getting yeeted did 1 damage to the wisp, who takes half damage, so it took no damage. and then nameless got bonked from being thrown.

nameless turns into a dog and is awkwardly crammed into a tunnel. also kepesk poked the willowisp with his magic sword and evaporated WOLF WEARING GOGGLES. BOTTOM TEXT the sequel to teen wolf: scene wolf

made it through! there is a whole-ass dragon skeleton embedded in the wall, and on top of the skull is a sword! nameless as a direwolf walks up and hormfs the sword jorb: let me get something here… me: [worried] did the music change? AW FUCK THE MUSIC CHANGED HM. NAMELESS GOT ATTACKED BY. SOMETHING. AND WE ARE NOW IN COMBAT. WITH SOMETHING. HELP

[alidaar vaults over nameless and then spends 5 minutes remembering how his mechanics work] nyx: ..so alidaar, you are standing on the sword right now that i am holding me: [looks] OH. I AM, nyx: which is going to make the thing im going to do next a little difficult, me: im doing the dark link thing.

NAMELESS IS SWINGING THE SWORD

jorb: does a 29 hit you? me: [looks at my 17 ac] me: Y EA,,,,

oh hey kepesk is a barbarian! RAGE TIME! also storm aura! We Are Now On Fire (we're fine)

jorb: you could try to take the sword- nyx: no. fuck you. me: alidaar makes grabby hands at the sword and nameless turns away nameless: rrf. >:( (NAMELESS'S CURSE IS ACTING UP. AAAAAAAAAAAAA THE SWOOOOOOOOOORD)

nyx: i swing the sword again. jorb: against all odds, that's a hit I AM TRYING TO WRESTLE THE SWORD AWAY FROM NAMELESS. IT IS NOT WORKING fuck it breath weapon time BREATH WEAPON NOOO </3 (it did not do much)

once again, nameless is a dog with a sword nameless is no longer a dog with a sword. nameless is now holding the sword in their mouth as a halfling "i could try to take the sword from nameless again but i'd feel bad bullying them" NAMELESS ROLLED A 20 ON THE SWORD BUT WE HAVE DISADVANTAGE SO INSTEAD IT WAS A 6,, MEAN

THROW THE INVISIBLE BEAST IN THE TETANUS PIT (this is not possible) alidaar grabs the sword, stabs the beast with it, and then nameless GRABS IT BACK jorb: it is the invisible stalker's turn! me: is it gonna steal the sword? jorb: it doesn't look like it's doing anything. kepesk? green: i take the sword. [...] me, a couple tiles away: i take the sword back. jorb: from over there??? me: i reach over and i make grabby hands at the sword.

oh we have been stabbing at nothing for the past few turns. lol. lmao apparently once i got a hit in with the sword, the whatever-it-was went away! me: who has the sword again. i want it back nyx: uh, you me: i take it back from myself. […] kepesk: so do you think that thing is valuable? alidaar: oh yeah for sure, this is primo shit nameless: 8(

nameless gave kepesk the pole of collapsing! and also threw tobias's mystery key at him. still holding onto the sending stone though. time to explore the rest of the dungeon! ah fuck more wisps nyx: i take a step forward. jorb: you fall in the pit.

nameless, at 2 hp: i am going to leave. nameless goes outside, pulls out a blanket, and curls up and goes to sleep kepesk: mammals, am i right? Alidaar And Kepesk's Terrible Dungeon Raid (we found the other two wisps, but decide to go to the One corridor that DOESNT have a wisp because i am SMART and remembered there were 3 and. then i got a faceful of poison for my troubles. bro this sucks) alidaar misses with his sword, then instakills the wisp with his axe. "alidaar is looking from the sword, to the axe, and is clearly doing math on how worth it this trip was" KEPESK HAS BEFRIENDED A SKELETON HORSE

me: i have so much blood and most of it is outside me now (i am at 4 hp) jorb: [at green] do you want to rage? me: PLEASE NO,, jorb: you could get the sword…………… green: nameless looks up and sees me ride past on a skeleton horse holding the sword and cackling and goes "where's alidaar?" me: alidaar is facedown on the floor. in the family guy death pose.

wisps have an ac of 19 jesus christ. but also it just fucked off mid-battle so kepesk gets to loot everything (alidaar is Very Injured lmao) nameless was crying and then kepesk rides his honse up the stairs and meanwhile alidaar is literally crawling his way up super bloody and agonized kepesk: didja see my horse? :D kepesk cheerfully asking everyone if they like lutes (alidaar: i like flutes! its like lutes but it has an f in it! kepesk: that's so true! we should start a band!) nameless gets the lute. kepesk lowballed it to them because if he threw it full force he would kil them instantly

alidaar: [dizzy] oh right,, there was,, a man,,,,,,,,,, alidaar walks to the side of the hill, lays down, and rolls down the hill oH MY GOD ZODIARK (THE HORSE) IS HUGE back to tagor's camp! he's a bit worried abt zodiark bc. skeleton horse. kepesk: the horse was dead when i found it. [..] tagor: you went in one man and an animal and came out three men, no animal, and a.. skeleton horse.. nameless: bold of you to assume the binturong didn't turn into the skeleton horse. we are trolling the SHIT out of tagor lmao. this poor man has no idea what's happening.

backstory: tagor went off on a hunting party with his squad of goblins and hobgoblins, but got ambushed by followers of talos! 2 or 3 of them and a wolf vs like a dozen talos-ers. they were cornered, had no choice but to fight, and tagor was the only one left standing out of the whole scuffle. he went back to get reinforcements, but everybody in the castle was dead and he assumed the talosers did it. (it was kepesk. kepesk did So much murder.) our trek to find a talos outpost lead us to falcon's hunting lodge! so far it's a warm reception OH NO HE'S HOT time to team up with falcon the hotguy! he's ALSO dealing with the followers of talos and would like us to do murder. wahoo! we are good at that! also he's gonna give us cool boots

nyx: can i ask a question? jorb: sure, in character or out of character? nyx: i'm a binturong, i can't ask a question. jorb: oh. jorb: if you're gonna ask if you can wear two pairs of boots, you cannot

talos! god of storms and war, big stinky. gruumsh was an evil god that made the orcs do evil etc etc, but gruumsh's son tempus, god of honorable war, got fed up and killed him + freed the orcs. orcs are now, like, fucking Normal. and then talos showed up! some believe talos is gruumsh, having somehow survived, and the followers of talos believe that very intensely and seek to reinstate him as chief god of fuckshit. this entire thing is to try and work around the fact that we keep having to murder orcs left and right. the orcs we're roughing up are specifically shitty, but outside of that orcs are just like. a normal part of society now. oh hey nameless lore, potentially? nyx was checking something with jorb. hrrmmmm

new boot goofin! kepesk: man, these guys are treasure magnets, i'm stickin' with them [..] alidaar: i'm good with the guest house, we're all friends nameless: [looks at kepesk] [looks at alidaar] [shrugs] alidaar: [shrugs] kepesk: i'll be friends with anyone for a free room!

it is 11:30 pm. i am so tired. ALIDAAR IS NOW LEVEL 5! aaaaand roll20 does stuff differently now. what is a charactermancer. son of a bitch jorb and nyx booped off to dm chat to talk about Doing A Scene as nameless levels up which is. definitely not worrying at all. oh well not my problem i've got a cool sword (and also got to chat with green about how stuff's going so far) OH RIGHT THE MYSTERY INVISIBLE FOE. yeah we were fighting an air elemental and alidaar killed it when he hit it with the sword. alidaar is not a special chosen one he's just very proficient in swords

and that's game! what a fucking mess. i love doip. [goes directly to bed]

#leo chirps #dnd #ttrpg #doip.#contains: several doodles; sword hot potato; twice the amount of scalie as usual

10 notes · View notes