#chrissy really just wrote 7 pages about this
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20 Questions for Fic Writers Game
tagged by the wonderful @autisticempathydaemon (chrissy my beloved <33 also you HAVE to let me know if you start writing for castleaudios >:3)
tagging - you, reading this!! also (no pressure!): @dominimoonbeam @glassbearclock @taelonsamada @romirola @lovelylonerliterature @genginger @ninzied @evilbunnyking @nerdierholler @commander-krios @chroniclesinlacuna @kesla @mordinette @garglyswoof @nagia-pronounced-neijia
1 - How many works do you have on AO3?
oh god, 128! but this is an underestimate, because i've anon'd some older fics/fandoms hehehe. i've been 'round ao3 since 2012!
2 - What's your total AO3 word count?
498,649... now this is actually accurate. 300k of that is from 2020 until now. basically the pandemic got me on a writing kick.
3 - What fandoms do you write for?
SO MANY. 19 according to ao3, but right now? baldurs gate & redacted audios >:3 there is another halsin fic in the works...
4 - What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
oh god. okay. you'll get some older fics here: 1. got me on my best (bad) behaviour 2. Call me scent o' mental, but I'm crazy about you (teen wolf....) 3. all bark, no bite 4. devils and ghosts (frank castle / karen page!! love this one heh) 5. sweeter than honey (ofc halsin makes it ahaha)
5 - Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
YES. there are only a few exceptions, when I've written something that touches close to home / a sensitive topic.
6 - What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
hmm...bittersweet endings were my wheelhouse for a long time. OKAY. let's do this one: too little, too late. caroline forbes and klaus mikaelson, set at the end of the originals. yeah.
7 -What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
....nowadays, I mostly write happier endings sadhfjk lets go with: bioluminescence, which follows on from the events of blood moon (@/barbwrites) and takes marco on a roadtrip to see luminescent algae up close and personal. (it's a loveletter to a summer I spent in california during a really difficult period of my life, and this fic means a lot to me <3)
8 - Do you get hate on fics?
I've not gotten hate, but I've definitely had some interesting comments over the years, for a variety of reasons, usually to do with the person's personal views. (one story had the main character smoking pot to calm their anxiety, and someone was not happy with that)
9 - Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
YEP. Smut with feelings is my FAVOURITE thing. I prefer sensual descriptions, because it is all about feelings and sensations with me. as an ace writer, I also like kink and monster fuckery heheheh.
10 - Do you write crossovers?
Not at all ahahahaha. Have I ever written a crossover? I don't think so. I love AUs though, and pacific rim AUs are one of my favourite concepts in fandom.
11 - Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes, and it was teen wolf, and honestly not one of my best. it was a hatchet job, they took random paragraphs and spliced it / wrote around it? someone flagged it to me in a comment, and it was taken down. all in all, a very weird experience.
12 - Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but gosh, that'd be cool! <- stealing from lexi, agreed, would be awesome <3
13 - Have you ever co-written a fic before?
YES. It was FUN. It was a series of conversations between an estranged father and son, Colm and Milo Greer, with the incredibly talented @frenchiefitzhere (also tagging you for this meme!!). it's still one of my favourite things: An Honest Man Like Yourself
14 - What's your all time favorite ship?
ALL TIME FAVOURITE? How dare you. I love all my ships afjkdsfg Shakarian is pretty high up there. Kastle (karen page/ frank castle). All the werewolves from redacted. <3
15 - What's a WIP that you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
ahhhh. okay. 'wander. wonder.' my poly longfic. don't hate me, but honestly, I've just not got the space for a longfic at the moment. never say never, but I've caught up with the chapters I had worked up, everything else is a vague outline. <3
16 - What are your writing strengths?
oof. I want to say character. most of the fun for me when writing is getting inside a characters head and figuring out their voice >:3
17 - What are your writing weaknesses?
Structuring longer, multi-chaptered stories - basically figuring out the pacing of it. I'm working on an original project, and I love it, but the first series of major edits will be breaking up my alternating POV sections into proper chapter breaks and letting myself linger more in moments instead of pushing forward (habits of a oneshot writer fdsds)
18 - Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I've been meaning to have my estonian friend critique my estonian, but I'm pretty positive the 'bond' I referred to is actually the money kind, and not the emotional attachment I'd been hoping to refer to hfjdkssfdg. I do as much research as I can, but it's best to run it past someone who speaks the language!
19 - First fandom you wrote for?
hehehehe naruto. yep. I was a naruto kid. first posted online in 2007......
20 - Favorite fic you've written?
WHAT A QUESTION. honestly, I love what I have been writing the last three years. I've really let myself just write what I want to read, and it's been great. i'm going to cheat, and say the original project I'm working on that I won't let anyone see heheheh. <3 it's got werewolves, kink and explicit consent, and spun out a whole verse for me to play with (and a fun MMF sidestory that I also need to finish...)
gods this got LONG. Thank you for making it this far!! <3
#ask games#ask memes#tmi#i'm nearly finished with the first half of the original project#ropes and fangs#THEN I will let people read it xD#it will still get longer - I write a little concisely. bad habits from focusing on oneshots for so long#it's been a great learning experience#and really - I love the characters#andreas and olivia beloveds <3
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WIP Wednesday Game
We're officially in August, so this week or next will probably be my last regular participation. I feel a little weird about it. I was also tagged this morning by @stobinesque so it's a double day!
As always, credit to @kedreeva
Here’s how it works:
In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.
Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!
After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can't share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.
That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request! Also, if you send me an ask, I'll look on your page to see if you'd like one back. This works best when we help each other!
If you’re reading this, you’re invited!
If you see someone posting a WIP Wednesday Game snippet, send them an ask! Make them write.
Filenames
Chrissy Woke Up Ch 6 [1-5]
He's All That (I finally rewatched the movie, so I have ideas upon ideas!)
Stevie Harrington Ch 3 [1-2]
B1 Bad Pickup Lines
C1 Red String of Fate
Snippet: B1 Bad Pickup Lines
His drink was almost gone when he felt Eddie’s return. This time he leaned against the bar next to Steve, tilting his head and letting his hair fall in a way he knew drove Steve crazy.
“You must be a parking ticket,” Eddie said.
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Steve leaned toward him. He couldn’t help it.
Eddie grinned. “You’ve got fine written all over you.”
The bartender snorted. Eddie glanced at him curiously, but Steve never looked away from Eddie. Normally he played pretend here, but Eddie had set him up so well with one Steve had been waiting to use.
“That must make you a library card,” he said, and Eddie’s face opened up in delight. “Because all I want to do is check you out.”
“You’re really drawing me in over here.” Eddie reached out to run his finger over the back of Steve’s hand. “You must be an artist or something.”
Steve hummed, thinking quickly. If they were trading back and forth, he definitely wanted to keep going. “That hand of yours looks heavy. Can I hold it for you?”
Eddie laughed as he slipped his fingers between Steve’s. “Oh, your skin’s burning up. Must be because you’re so hot.”
Steve ducked his head, letting his forehead rest of Eddie’s shoulder to hide his grin and give himself time to think. Did he have any guitar jokes ready? No, but there was one about strings that had made him laugh. How did it go?
“You must be a puppeteer,” Steve said as he sat back up. “You seem like you’d be really good at pulling my strings.”
Eddie chuckled as he leaned in to press a slow kiss to Steve’s lips. As he pulled away, he added, “Life without you would be like a broken pencil.”
“Pointless.” Steve had seen this one before. Maybe they were looking at the same lists.
Eddie pouted a little at having his punchline stolen, but another kiss quickly put a smile back on his face.
They both looked up as a set of glasses slid in front of them. The bartender winked. “On the house after that little display.”
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Chapter 56 Analysis+Theories
AHHHHHH CHAPTER 56 AHHHHHH!!! <--Chrissy every time a chapter comes out
I wasn’t as hyped up about this one as I was for the last one thankfully, seeing as we didn’t have a super long wait, but I certainly don’t want to diminish in any way the importance of this chapter!!!
I won’t waste any time and will get right to it, so buckle in, cuz’ the theory train is coming! More under the cut!
So I’ll start by saying that when I first read the chapter, it was 2 AM where I was. I had been sleeping and just kinda magically woke up right when the chapter just came out, so I like to think there was some fate there. But when I opened that chapter on my phone and the first thing I saw was that Syaoran color spread, I audibly gasped and instantly woke up a bit.
I woke up not because it was absolutely stunning to look at, or even at the fact that we haven’t had Syaoran in a color page for a while. No, the thing that caught my attention was the serious atmosphere it contained and the tone that it seemingly set. To me, this was one of CLAMP’s subtle ways of saying “Prepare for the final battle”. I could be reading into it too much, but I was right about what I believed the Syaoran and Kaito color page insinuated, so I’m gonna stick to my guns here.
We start off the chapter without a moment’s pause where we left off last time. It continues right from the last point of the conversation where Sakura dropped the bombshell that she had seen Kaito use magic. She seems to think that they may not believe her at first, but Syaoran interrupts her to affirm that he 100% believes her and that he even already knew. Sakura is naturally confused by this, but he finally FINALLY gets to tell her what he’s been dealing with this whole time, and it definitely seems to be an uncomfortable topic for him. But at least this time he got to tell Sakura truthfully that he hadn’t ever intended on keeping this from her but was physically not able to. Despite not needing to feel guilty about this, Syaoran seems uncomfortable for the simple fact that someone else had that much control over him, and he was unable to do a thing to stop it. It’s also important to keep in mind that Kero and Suppi were hearing this for the first time themselves as well (about the silencing at least).
Not much time passes after this before Kero and Suppi fess up to also knowing about Kaito, but they admit that theirs was a conscious decision rather than force, but that they believe they too would have been silenced like Syaoran was had they attempted to speak. One could say that since they didn’t know Syaoran was silenced in the way he was that this is not entirely truthful or was just a bad decision, but in reality it still makes perfect sense why they thought to be more careful. They saw Kaito’s magic first hand violently take down Eriol, and if he could shut down a magician of that caliber from halfway across the world, then he could easily do the same or worse to the guardians. And since they also weren’t yet aware of his true intentions with Sakura, it would have been likely seen as dangerous to provoke him and possibly put Sakura in harm’s way. I guess the only thing that doesn’t make much sense to me is why Syaoran and the guardians didn’t collaborate and put together what they knew sooner. Even when Yue went to Syaoran’s apartment, the topic of Kaito or Eriol never came up, and since they both clearly had Sakura’s best interest in mind, I’m not sure specifically why they chose to keep their information to themselves when they both knew they had the same goal. This, I would say, was actually a bad decision on their part, but when it comes down to it, they’re not perfect and everyone makes mistakes (I think Cinzia made the same point here, so I apologize if it seems like I’m copying here! I just also agree when it comes to this).
I’m actually going to pull in a little thing I learned from my counselor not long ago when I felt guilt over a particular decision I had made long ago, and that is that you can only work based on the emotions and information you have at the time. And because we don’t know the future, it is not possible to always make the right decisions, but there is also no telling if our decisions would have changed things for the better, so it is best not to dwell on them. I believe truly that based on what they knew at the time and through the experiences they had, they were likely only trying to protect each other, but missed that they could have probably helped each other. It’s easy to miss things when you’re on the defensive.
What I love about Sakura after this is that she forgives them immediately. This is not the first time she’s had things hidden from her for her protection, and naturally it’s upsetting to not feel like you can be trusted to deal with the serious information. When Syaoran told her how he’d been hiding what he knew before, she was upset but more because she thought he suffered as a result. This time around though, they concealed things from her not because they were worried about how she’d handle it, but rather out of fear from what Kaito would do if they tried, so it’s a completely different reason and much easier to forgive. Sakura is able to differentiate this, because she is a very emotionally intelligent girl and a lot more observant than she gets credit for when it comes to reading people. She’s grown a lot and isn’t as ‘dense’ as she was in Elementary School.
Then we get a precious gift of seeing Syaoran show off how smart he is, working out how Kaito managed to make them forget about said confrontation at the botanical garden. He’s probably thought about it a lot already, considering he mentioned before that he felt like someone made him forget something. But this time, he had additional information that Sakura was able to provide, and this was the final piece of the puzzle he needed. The most important detail that Sakura gave him was the location in particular, the botanical garden. He knew that that was where they intended to go, but that they had yet to go there. This prompted him to check his phone and see how much time might have passed without them realizing, and because he knew what time he had arranged to meet Sakura, 9:30 AM, he was able to observe that it was impossible for them to meet, go to the botanical garden, have this encounter with Kaito, and both get back to their houses in only 16 minutes. This meant it was not just a mere meddling of memories but rather time magic as it was the only explanation for the time discrepancy issue and memory loss. I can’t say how freaking proud I was of Syaoran for working this out. He’s such a smart boy, but I know that Sakura also would have been able to come to the same conclusion had she had more knowledge about the magical world. Sakura is running on pure instinct right now, which is super strong, but Syaoran really helps fill in those gaps where things don’t make sense for her, making them the perfect magical team!
The scene changes to Momo, who appears to be keeping tabs on the conversation (though it’s unclear if Kaito is aware while they are under Siege). And this part is perhaps the most worrying of the entire chapter, and I’m not talking about the line where the English translation says “Into the final act of your story”. That line in particular is a gross mistranslation cleared up by @meimi-haneoka, who graciously gives us translation notes each month in comparison to the Japanese version. The actual line in fact says “Into the final act of THE story”. This changes the entire tone of that page as the first translation implies it is leading to Kaito’s death, whereas the Japanese translation actually more implies that we’re nearing the climax of the story. Momo’s facial expressions also match the wording of the Japanese translation better, as we know she does not seem to want Kaito to die, so she would certainly look more upset here if she were speaking of such a thing. Also, I have to speak up about how pretttyyyy Kaito looks in that panel. The way CLAMP designed that page is just stunning as always.
HOWEVER
Back to what I was saying before! The most concerning part of the chapter for me is the page right before that, where Momo says “Once a spell’s been seen for what it is, it all comes crumbling down. Particularly, where time magic is concerned. And that’s to say nothing of your target’s considerable power. Now everything you’d turned back time to undo. Everything you’ve succeeded in freezing…is beginning to move again”. So here comes Chrissy’s big crazy theory and possible overthinking, but bear with me here!
I think…that what they are saying here is that these moments that were frozen in time and turned back were cut off from the timeline and now floating in a separate space. And now these scenes, which were all intense in their own way and incredibly frustrating for us, are about to move forward.
….all of them….
….at the same time….
This concept isn’t exactly new in CLAMP series. It happened with Tsubasa where Syaoran turned back time to go back to a moment where he could take Sakura’s hand and keep her from being cursed, and to keep that moment ready until he could return, it was in its own separate dimension, cut off from the rest of the universe. Eventually, once he got there, time started to move forward again. Turning back time is a taboo in the magical world for a reason, and Kaito has done this over and over and over again. But also, wouldn’t it be so like CLAMP to say “Hey, we know you’ve been frustrated that all these scenes were seemingly amping up to a big confrontation, but then Kaito rewound time over and over, so how about we give those back….ALL AT THE SAME TIMMMMEE?”. Can you even imagine the consequences of such a thing? At least three of the occasions where Kaito turned back time, Akiho went into what I call ‘book-mode’, where she is no longer herself and tries to absorb Sakura along with her magic (and even succeeds on one occasion). Then there is also Syaoran and Kaito’s battle and Syaoran having his outburst about Kaito being a magician right in front of Akiho. It would be absolute utter chaos, and honestly I’d be living for it. Lmao.
If you believe that this line Momo said was simply to state that his time magic won’t work anymore and that things will continue to progress in this timeline, that would make perfect sense as well, so I don’t want to discount that. I’m just throwing out theories here based on what I know about CLAMP and concepts that are not out of the realm of possibility.
The scenes from here on out bounce a little bit back and forth from a continuation of the conversation with Syaoran and the guardians and present time with Akiho at school. I kinda like the way they did the transitions here, and it didn’t really feel awkward at any point but rather pulled up the relevant information when it was needed.
When Akiho comes in to the classroom, Sakura recalls how the topic of Akiho came up in the conversation from the day before. It’s natural for everyone to question at this point what she knows and if she is someone to be concerned about too. Syaoran mentions that he can’t detect any magic from her, which was something he had looked into from the very first day Akiho arrived at Tomoeda Middle (he knew literally nothing about her, but you know how transfer students go in this town. Lmao). Sakura drops another bombshell here by saying that she actually senses something in Akiho, but she is unclear of what that is and why she feels that way. It’s completely likely that she’s strong enough now to sense the suppressed magic spell the association and her clan put on her. I also noticed Syaoran seemed to tense up when Sakura said this, and I’m sure that this new information probably made him feel very uneasy. Sakura’s instincts are never wrong, and if she feels something, that means there is something, but to think that it’s something even Syaoran can’t sense would definitely be concerning.
It is then that Syaoran decides to approach the idea of addressing Akiho directly about Kaito’s magic to see what she knows. Maybe at this point in time he is thinking “If she possibly has some sort of magic in her, then she might know already about Kaito”, but like Sakura, he has seen Akiho’s behavior as a person and probably believes that she is not doing anything malicious of her own accord. Perhaps he thinks that Akiho might be able to talk some sense into Kaito and put a stop to things. But the way he goes about it doesn’t push Sakura, but rather just offers it as a suggestion as something a bit more direct.
Before we see Sakura’s response to this, we are back to Akiho in the classroom and she is very cheerful from having gone out with Kaito the day prior, and OMG CAN I JUST GUSH FOR A MOMENT ABOUT HOW FREAKING PRECIOUS SHE IS? She is seriously adorable, and the more I see her smile, the more it makes me want to burn her whole clan down to the ground for being so awful to her. But also, it reminds me how strong she is to have gone through everything she did and still smile and hold no hatred in her heart. I can’t honestly say I would be the same in her shoes, so it’s really admirable. For those My Hero Academia fans out there, remember Eri’s smile? You know the one I’m talking about. That’s how I feel every time Akiho smiles.
Anyways, back to Sakura’s response. She decides, in a very Sakura-like fashion, to avoid the subject with Akiho for now. It is true that they don’t fully understand who Kaito is and what his intentions are, but the one thing she does know is that he is considered precious to Akiho, and that at least says something about his character. Akiho herself also isn’t an idiot and is perceptive to Kaito’s feelings. Even when he’s smiling, she can tell when he’s actually hurting inside, so if he had bad intentions at all, that likely wouldn’t go unseen either, so Sakura decides that she’ll wait for Akiho to come to her first if the discussion between them needs to happen. I think this is a very mature decision on her part but also continues to show how much she considers the people around her and cares for them.
Back in the present, Akiho apologizes for talking so much, and Sakura tells her that she doesn’t mind and will listen to whatever she has to say. More than just trying to show good will as a friend, I think this is also her way of opening up the door to tell her “If you want to talk about more serious things, I’m here to listen as well”. That way, when the time comes, Akiho will feel comfortable having that conversation with her.
The scene moves on to Yukito’s home where all the guardians are having a nice little get together in their true forms. It’s not entirely necessary for all but Yue to do this, but I love it as we haven’t gotten to see much of them in these forms in the series so far, especially Spinel and Ruby Moon. Ruby Moon is surprised that they decided to go along with what Sakura said, which I suppose makes sense considering they’ve been kinda doing their own thing up until now. But it turns out that it was Syaoran who made the final decision, and the others just took his lead.
I love that Syaoran was so comfortable just trusting Sakura and realizing that this time, they needed to let her make some choices, especially since it concerned her the most. Moreover, I love that Kero, Suppi, and Yue just basically caved when Syaoran agreed. This shows how much they respect the opinion of not just Sakura, but Syaoran too. They could have easily gone off and continued to work secretly without Sakura, but they didn’t do that. It obviously didn’t work well for them before anyways.
I cracked up when Ruby Moon mentioned how much Syaoran has grown a lot and used to be a ‘pouty brat’ back when they were in Japan the last time (in his defense, Eriol was screwing with him a lot, so he had a lot of good reasons for the bratty attitude. Lmao). But Kero and Yue’s responses are just precious. They both have the same expression initially, but their actual responses seem to differ quite a bit. Kero states that he will always be a brat to him and that he’s only grown ‘a little’. This is classic Kero essentially saying he agrees that he’s grown a lot, but he won’t admit it yet, hence why Spinel calls him childish. Hahahaha.
Yue’s response however makes me absolutely melt. He states he’s not upset about the mention of Syaoran’s growth, but that that he doesn’t think they “should be in such a hurry to grow up”. He sounds just like a freaking dad here who is happy to see his children grow up, but is also wanting to them to slow down and stay children simultaneously. I am absolutely living for it, and I love seeing how soft he gets when it comes to them. -squeals-
Despite how lighthearted this scene is, I’m gonna put out another theory here that might seem like I’m overthinking and perhaps makes this appear a bit darker than possibly intended. My thought was “Why did CLAMP put such focus on this subject right now?”. They could have simply stated that they decided to go along with Sakura and been done with it, but the made a point to talk about the children’s growth as human beings, particularly Syaoran. Now where am I going with this you ask? Perhaps it’s the Tsubasa PTSD speaking, but when CLAMP has dialogue like this, it usually it done quite purposely at times, because it is meant to enhance our emotions when a particular moment comes later on. So when I thought “Now, why would they be talking so much about how Syaoran’s grown emotionally and how much Kero and Yue care about him?”. I think they are trying to emphasize how much people in general care about him. CLAMP showed it again recently with Touya, who threatened Kaito and purposely included Syaoran in his statement, and again when Kaito pointed his staff at Syaoran and Sakura reacted. CLAMP is pointing out right now how much people care about Syaoran, and I think this is once again a signal that something bad is going to happen to Syaoran, and I think it’s going to be soon.
Now, Cinzia actually recently found my reaction to spoilers of chapter 1 of Clear Card (that’s right, chapter 1 from all the way back in 2016), and from the very beginning, I have been screaming at the top of my lungs that I had the worst feeling that something bad was going to happen to Syaoran. I imagine some of you are probably tiring of hearing it from me. Lmao. So here we are, 55 chapters and numerous bad dreams later, and I finally feel like that time is really really close. I’m calling it right now that it will probably happen within the next 4-5 chapters, and if I’m wrong, I will eat my words, but them even putting Syaoran on the color page all by himself for this chapter gives me more reason to think that “that time” is approaching.
That is a good transition for me to talk about the last part of this chapter. We are finally getting some progress on this play Naoko has been writing, and the moment she mentioned it was about “Twin Alices”, I thought to myself “this is going to be where the climax happens”. The pieces are coming together for it, and we’ve finally gotten to hear the premise of this play. We all knew Naoko would ask Sakura and Akiho to play the main roles, but it’s unclear what the role she wants for Syaoran will be when she inevitably peer pressures him into it. Lol. But I’m telling you, I really think this play is where shit is going to hit the fan and we’ll finally get some real answers.
I can’t wait to see what happens from here on out, but it’s very clear to me that things are just going to get more and more intense from here on out!!
#cardcaptor sakura#clear card#chapter 56#spoilers#theories#analysis#chrissy talks a lot#chrissy really just wrote 7 pages about this#forgive my crazy theories#I am always concerned#Tsubasa ptsd#CLAMP why do you do this to me?#syaoran#sakura#akiho#kero#yue#ruby moon#spinel sun#suppi#kaito#momo#manga
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But if you'll really hold me tight
Wow. I actually did it. Can't quite believe it tbh and it was a close run thing for a while. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks for all the lovely comments on all the fics, they've really helped me get them done.
So this is actually a rewrite of a WIP that I started and abandoned AGES ago. I wanted to finish it but I could never get it going. It was a Red, White and Royal Blue AU but it's kind of changed, but the premise is still the same. Anyway I've deleted the original WIP 'you were the best idea I've ever had' and this is the replacement. It's mad but I hope you like it.
Basically Jack is PM, and Faith is the Queen...bit mad eh, but go with it. I've nicked some details from our royals but other than that it's just nonsense, but tbh I do kinda like them so I really enjoyed writing it :)
I wrote about 10k of this in one day so forgive any mistakes ;)
Happy new year everyone! If anyone wants me I'll be lying down in a darkened room.
Day 31
(AO3 link)
Robert looked round the room as he dumped his bag on the bed. It did look comfortable he supposed, but that didn’t mask the fact that he didn’t want to be here. The room itself was nothing special, nothing like most people would expect in the home of the British Prime Minister he had no doubt. It was bigger than he expected, no doubt thanks to the Blairs and their renovations back in the day. It wasn’t his home though. He had a flat, a perfectly nice flat in the middle of the city that suited him and yet here he was.
”You’re here then.” He turns to see his Dad standing in the doorway, suit as immaculate as always. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen him look casual, even when his Mum used to force him into a sweater or polo shirt during the summer.
“You didn’t give me much choice.” He’d expected the call, as soon as he’d woken up to a phone full of news notifications. He supposes it’s not every day the son of one of the most popular Prime Ministers in recent history is caught red handed with the sister of his beloved wife. It didn’t matter that in private their marriage had been over for months, that Chrissie was already with someone else. No, he was the one at fault, all manner of rumours doing the rounds, because they’d kept their separation private so as not to harm his father’s reputation.
What rankled most, as it had most of his life, was that his Dad hadn’t even called himself, not even his closest assistant had been the one to make the call, a lowly staffer was all he got, telling him that ‘the PM thinks it best you move into 10 Downing Street for the foreseeable’.
It wasn’t that he wanted to be front page news, he didn’t go looking for it like some, but ever since his father had swept to power on a promise of reuniting the country, the press had been on him like bees round a honeypot, half the time making up their own gossip without him even leaving his living room. He wasn’t like his brother, the fine upstanding Andy, who still ran the farm that their Dad had grown up on, Andy with the sick daughter who everyone doted on, including Robert, he’s not that terrible a human being. Then there was Vic, the darling of the press, who smiled and waved every time she left the building, who would often take some of her newest creations out to the waiting press gaggle for them to try. Robert was just trying to live his life, but that wasn’t good enough, never had been.
“I need you to come with me tonight. I think it would be a good idea for people to see you doing some good for a change. Diane is already attending a charity event.”
“Where is it?”
“The palace. Be ready for 7.” He turned to leave. “And Robert, I don’t want any silliness, not like last time.”
Honestly, he thought, you get slightly merry one time at a Downing Street party and you never hear the end of it. It’s not like he’d declared war on anyone, he just, well he might’ve broken a vase. As he’d told his Dad numerous times it was hideous anyway and deserved to be broken, but apparently it’d been a gift from some country or other that the country needed to trade with. Robert really didn’t think that trade deals depended on a frankly ugly piece of china but as had been pointed out to him equally as many times he knew nothing about politics and should keep his nose out.
It wasn’t that he was politically ignorant, he voted, he read the news, he researched anything that might be relevant to him or his job, but after years of hearing his parents fighting because his Dad was forever away from home or spending more time sorting out his constituents problems than those in his own family, as far as he was concerned the whole thing was a pantomime. The happy family that had stood on the steps outside, smiling and waving, was nothing but a charade. He and Andy barely spoke, which was fine by him, his Dad could barely stand the sight of him and Diane and Victoria just wanted them all to get along and that meant Robert should shut up and get on with it.
With his Dad gone he turns to start unpacking. He was here for however long it took for the stories to die down whether he liked it or not.
“They told me you were here.”
“Hiya trouble.” He pulls his sister into a hug, eyeing up the doughnut she was holding, he was starving after missing breakfast and lunch. “That for me?”
“Thought you might need it. Dad said you were going with him tonight?” She hands him the plate before bouncing on the bed. Sometimes it’s hard to believe she’s a fully fledged adult.
“Not willingly.” He mumbles around his food. “This ’s good.”
“It’s boring is what it is. Why won’t you try some of my other flavours?”
“Because you do not mess with jam doughnuts Vic. Some things have to remain sacred in this world.” He smiles a little at her huff and licks the sugar from his fingers before joining her on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go tonight?”
“I went last time. Besides, it’ll give you the chance to stare at you know who all night.” He groans, regretting once more the late night conversation a few years ago when he was still living at home.
“I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“Debatable. Anyway I don’t want to stare at anyone, least of all him.”
“So the words His Royal Hotness didn’t pass your lips?”
“Vodka had passed my lips.” He pointed out, hoping she couldn’t see him blush. So he fancied the second in line to the throne, it wasn’t like he was alone.
“So you don’t fancy him then?” He shakes his head at her, irritated but loving her all the same. She was the only one of them who knew he was bi, well no, he supposed his Dad did even if they’d never actually managed a conversation. He idly wonders what it’d be like to tell everyone what had happened, to see the scales fall from the eyes of the nation about their perfect leader. He’d never do it, would never hurt Vic like that, but sometimes the look on his Dad’s face if he did would comfort him somehow.
“No!” She’d tease him all the more if he admitted it.
“Hm.”
“The man never smiles Vic. Last year, at his cousin’s wedding, did you even see him without a scowl?”
“You took notice of him then?” He half heartedly smacks her arm, making her laugh. “I’m glad you’re here, Rob, I missed you.”
“I’ve been here.” It’s lame, because he hasn’t, not really.
“I mean more than a couple of texts and a phone call once a month. How long are you going to be here?”
“Until I’m not grounded anymore.”
“Idiot. I’m going, Try not to annoy Dad anymore tonight.”
_____
“I meant what I said Robert, best behaviour tonight. I think you’ve made enough headlines with your dalliances for a while, don’t you?” It’s on the tip of his tongue to drag up Rachel, something else that no one knows but family, but he stops himself. It’s not worth the hassle. Hopefully if he gets through tonight he won’t be asked again for a long while.
“Just once it’d be nice if you pretended to have even an ounce of faith in me. You do know Chrissie is right now shacked up with someone else, don’t you? And was before I went anywhere near Rebecca.”
“No one cares about that. Just behave yourself. Is that too much to ask? This isn’t just some party, it’s the Queen and her family. Show some respect.”
Privately he thought that Queen Faith looked rather fun and would be quite at home gossiping over a few glasses of red rather than endlessly shaking hands but he keeps it to himself as they pull up the gates of the palace. He can’t help looking up at the building a little in awe. He’s wouldn’t really class himself as a monarchist, but he doesn’t wish any of them any ill, and he watches all the pomp and ceremony on TV like everyone else. He just doesn’t particularly want to spend the night minding his P’s and Q’s because he’s really not all that good at it.
He takes a deep breath as the car stops and the door is opened. As he watches his Dad step out he can’t help but think his world has really taken a turn in the last 24 hours.
It’s a damn cliche and he hates them, but it’s like something out of a fairytale and he’s only in the entrance hall. Are they called entrance halls in palaces? He really thinks the least his Dad could’ve done if he insisted on him being here was give him a cheat sheet about these things. He’s not even here to ask. He’s already working the room, shaking hands and making contacts. Robert doesn’t even know what this whole shebang is for, for goodness sakes. It’s not like he hasn’t been to an event like this before, but that’s always been a fundraising thing, or a couple of small gatherings once his Dad was elected and they were playing the happy family card. This though, this is a whole other level. One foot wrong and it could be treasonous.
“And this is my son Robert.” He swallows as his Dad approaches with an unfamiliar face but it’s absolutely the type of person he knows will be useful. His father doesn’t bother with anyone who isn’t. So he smiles, shakes hands, and hopes someone will offer him a drink and soon.
_____
It’s all over in a flash. One minute he’s chatting away about the impending black hole in the country’s finances having finally found someone having an interesting conversation, and the next he’s flying towards the ground.
Ok, so maybe he made a joke about the canapés and the amount of money spent. Maybe it was a rubbish joke and he was just trying to impress people, but Prince Aaron had heard him and taken offence. He’d tried to stop him leaving, to explain, reaching out to grab his arm as he did. How was he to know that a simple grab of the arm would mean a punch in the face from an heir to the throne.
All he can see as he gets to his feet, bits of ridiculously expensive canapé all over his best suit is his Dad’s face, redder than he’s ever seen it. He doesn’t even look over at Prince Aaron but he can sense a flurry of activity around him, whereas he’s just stranded.
“I…I’m so sorry.” He daren’t look round, just edges his way out of the room hoping it’s in the direction of the way out, of safety. He knows his Dad is following and hell why does he feel like a kid again.
“I’ve never been so embarrassed Robert. Do you have any idea what you’ve done?”
“It’s not like I assassinated the Queen with a blini, Dad. It was a tray of salmon things. I was the one being punched you know! I’m fine by the way.” He touched his jaw gingerly, hissing as pain blossomed.
“And what did you say to him to make him punch you?” He opens his mouth to answer. “Oh just be quiet Robert. When we get home I don’t want to see you until tomorrow morning. In my office, with Nicola and we’ll see just how much of a mess you’ve made.”
He escapes before the car has even pulled up at the entrance at the back of Downing Street, pushing past the protection officer and storming upstairs to his room only to let out a groan when he sees his sister has made herself nicely at home in his armchair. He does smile when he spies the bar of his favourite chocolate on the table and a beer waiting to be opened.
“So you had a fun night.” She hugs him and just for a second he could imagine it was his Mum, ready to make his day all better. “Is Dad angry?”
“You mean you didn’t hear the explosion all the way over here?” He shakes his head as she sheds his jacket and throws his tie on the bed. “Wasn’t even my fault.”
“Really? That’s not what it says on Twitter."
“I…I just…look it is obscene that they’re spending that much money on food and diamonds and who knows what else. I only said what a good chunk of the country thinks.”
“Yeah but they don’t say it to the second in line to the throne.”
“I didn’t know he was there! Can I at least get a little sympathy for the fact that he might’ve broken my jaw?”
“Rob, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation if he’d broken your jaw. You’re so dramatic sometimes. I’ll get you some frozen peas.”
“Bring the ice cream too.” He calls after her. “The good stuff.”
“You’re going to give yourself diabetes or something.”
“Right now I could care less.” He wanted to wallow, he thinks he deserves that much. He wasn’t the one who threw a punch and ruined the evening. All he’d done was grab his arm, and that was what he got for his trouble. The beloved Prince clearly had anger management issues and he wasn’t taking the blame for that.
_____
All in all he’d enjoyed the rest of the evening. He and Vic had settled into the oversized armchair, somehow managing to fit even if he was half perched on the arm, with the ice cream and more than a couple of beers, watching trashy movies until he literally couldn’t keep his eyes open, all thoughts of what lay ahead forgotten.
He’s suffering now, his jaw aches, his head is banging and his eyes are full of grit thanks to the early morning call to wake him up. He likes Nicola, his father’s head of communications. She’s fun and she takes as well as she gives, but he’s never been on the wrong side of her until now. Any inkling of friendship they may have formed on those few times he’d campaigned for his father was likely gone. It was even odds that she’d have him hung drawn and quartered in the rose garden if she thought she could get away with it.
“You just can’t go more than 24 hours without giving me a headache can you? Do you think I’m in need of work or something? As if I don’t have enough to do with the Cabinet!” She sweeps into the sitting room, arms full of the day’s papers, slamming them onto the table making him groan. “Serves you right. What on earth did you think you were doing?”
“Would you even believe anything I said? Have you got any paracetamol in that bag of yours?”
“No. You can sit there and suffer just like I am at having to sort out your mess. You’re an idiot.”
“It’s been said.”
“I’ve spoken with your father, and the palace who are just as keen as us to do some kind of damage control.” He winces as she paces around the room. He should’ve just stayed in bed, that would’ve been a very good idea.
“I would’ve thought it’d be easy for them. Blame it all on me, it’s not like I’m already in the country’s bad books.”
“Oh do stop feeling sorry for yourself Robert. It’s not an attractive look on you.”
“Aw I didn’t know you cared.” He sits forward, trying to catch sight of the notes she’s making. “So go on, or are we waiting for the old man.”
“He left you in my capable hands. More important things to do apparently.” She actually looks sympathetic so he can only imagine what his Dad had actually said.
“Right. What do I have to do?”
“You’re going to be Prince Aaron’s new best friend. Well, when I say new, I mean we’re going to tell the press that you’ve been friends for a while and that what they saw last night was an accident after a friendly squabble over the football or something.”
“You’re joking, right? Why have I got to play nice with him. He punched me!”
“After you insulted his family. I always thought you were bright but I’m reevaluating my opinion.”
“I only said what half the country thinks.”
“That’s as maybe, but they don’t do it in the sovereign’s house. I don’t care what you think of them, no one does, they only care what it looks like. Your father can’t be seen to think like that because the majority of the country don’t.”
“I’m not my father!”
“It’s all the same thing in politics.” Finally she sits down and pushes the stack of newspapers to him. He swallows heavily as he looks at the top one, pictures of the punch, of him sprawled on the floor clutching his jaw. “So we’re going to do this, and you’re going to play nice with him or so help me God Robert I’ll stick you on a plane to the most inhospitable part of this planet with a one way ticket.”
He nods, anything for some peace and an easy life, and she relaxes. It looks like he has a new best friend then.
_____
Within two days it was all arranged. They were to visit a local children’s hospital to meet staff and patients as well as launching a new charity fundraising campaign for one of Aaron’s good causes. Surely even he couldn’t mess that up.
The car journey is excruciating. Aaron doesn’t say a word, only nodding in the right places as Nicola explains everything.
It’s a different story inside, then he’s all smiles and Robert follows his lead, shaking hands, smiling in all the right places, everything he’s been told to do. He watches as Aaron sits by beds, listening to stories, empathising with them. He tries but he isn’t as good. It’s when he sees a young girl with bandages all the way up her arms that he stops.
“What happened?” He asks the nurse escorting him.
“A fire. She got out but her arms were burnt. They’re not too bad but they’ll take a while to heal.” He nods, and approaches the bed, crouching beside it, trying to smile. He’s sure she doesn’t know wh he is as he tries making conversation. She asks about Aaron and he’s glad to fetch him, in awe as he works his magic.
As Aaron had walked over her eyes had widened so much he’d been on the verge of calling for help. Aaron had said nothing, just sat at her bed and chatted about her favourite band, football team stuff like that, just normal stuff. She’d been dumbstruck at first but he just kept talking, putting her at her ease and Robert had been impressed. He’d hung around when Aaron had moved on, to have another chat with her.
“Was that really Prince Aaron?”
“Yep.” He said with a smile. “Cool huh?”
“He’s really normal.”
“He really is.” He said it perfectly normally but inside he realised he was speaking the truth, he’d come to notice that Aaron didn’t have the airs and graces he’d expected, he didn’t ask his aides to get him out of places, he stayed and talked with the children and staff for as long as he wanted even when his aides had been looking at their watches anxiously.
The next thing he’d known they’d both been hurried away and stuck in what amounted to a cupboard. It was really an office but there wasn’t room to swing a cat. They’d sat in silence for ages before he said anything, not entirely sure how to break the ice considering what had gone on.
“So, you made quite an impression.”
“What?”
“On the kids.”
“Kids are easy enough. Adults cause the problems.” He said and went back to his phone.
“I don’t know how you do it though, doesn’t it get to you? I mean that little girl, she could be scarred for life. Doesn’t it ever get too much?”
“Sometimes but we only see people for a few minutes, it’s the staff who deal with it more than me. Besides, if meeting me makes her day a little better isn’t that a good thing?”
“I suppose.” He’d never thought of it that way before, never had to. He was used to his father, only doing things for votes, when there was something in it for him.
“What is it about her? In particular I mean.” He puts his phone away then, listening, looking at him with those bright blue eyes.
“It’s just burns…my mum, she died in a fire at our farm when I was fifteen.” He shrugged, seeing that girl had brought it all back, the burns to his hands, minor in comparison, that he’d got trying to reach his mum. “Just can’t help remembering.”
“I’m sorry. You should’ve said. Nicola and Leyla could’ve sent us somewhere else.”
“Not sure they’d do me any favours right now.” That makes Aaron laugh. “You should do that more often.”
“What?”
“Laugh. Makes you look more approachable than your usual scowl…more beautiful…shit, sorry. I didn’t mean…”
“You don’t think I’m beautiful?”
“Of course I do…wait…um…”
“I’m teasing.”
“I’m sorry.” He says after they’ve been quiet a while, the silence less awkward than before even though he’s still embarrassed.
“For what?”
“The other night, at the palace. I had no right to say what I did. I didn’t even mean it, I was just trying to be funny.”
“Maybe don’t give up your day job to become a comedian.” He replies, and Robert can see a hint of a smile. “You’re not the first person to put their foot in it. We take bets on how long it’ll take.”
“Yeah? Well I’m sorry anyway. My only excuse is my Dad forcing me to go along when he knew I was in a mood. I was just being childish.”
“Well then I should apologise for hitting you.” He nods. It’s done with, he’d not even done any damage despite his dramatics. “It was just, you grabbed my arm…”
“Yeah sorry. I was trying to say sorry.”
“I don’t…I don’t deal well with people grabbing at me.”
“I s’pose it happens quite a lot.” His brain catches up with him a moment too late. “Oh…yeah sorry.” He remembers now, reading the story when he was little about someone trying to snatch him, when he was little. No wonder it’d got the reaction it did.
“Stop saying sorry, it doesn’t suit you.”
“Sorry. Damn.” They smiled at each other as if they were sharing a secret.
“You know you’re not so bad.”
“For someone living such a privileged life you mean?”
“Yeah. I really am sorry. It’s not like my own isn’t, being the PM’s son opens doors one way or another and I’ve taken advantage of it even though I swore I wouldn’t. I just…that night, me and Dad, we’d had a row and he dragged me along knowing full well I didn’t want to be there.”
“You don’t get on?”
“Understatement.” They fall silent again and he checks his watch. “How long do you reckon we’ll be here.”
“Who knows. Ellis will come and get us when it’s safe.” Robert had met Ellis, Aaron’s protection officer, was suitably intimidated even though the two of them seemed to get on well enough.
“Happen a lot?”
“A fair bit. Usually nothing though.”
“Well at least we’re talking now. Should keep people happy.”
“Is that all that matters?”
“No. Look I know I’ve been an idiot but you’re alright. We could just do what we’re telling people we’re doing.”
“And what’s that?”
“Being mates. I’m guessing they’re not that easy to come by in your position, and, well I’ve never been the best at having friends.”
“You want to be mates? With me?”
“Is that such a surprise?” He’s disappointed that Aaron sounds so surprised, he thought they’d started to get along alright.
“Well yeah, you hate me.”
“No I don’t. I’ve told you why I behaved the way I did. I’m being serious, but if you don’t want to then we’ll just keep up the pretence for as long as we need to.” He gets up, no real idea where he’s going as they’re stuck in this room but he can’t keep sitting there next to him.
“I didn’t say that. It’s just…really?”
“Yeah. Don’t sound so surprised.”
“You’re right.” Aaron tells him quietly. “It’s not easy having mates being me. There’s lots of people, but not many that I can talk to. It’s lonely sometimes.”
“You’ve got your family though at least.” Aaron just shrugs and doesn’t answer. Robert leaves it, he knows families aren’t as simple as people think. “Look, I’ll give you my number then you can call me, whenever. I mean it.”
_____
“So go on then, what’s it really like?” He asks Aaron, settling himself down on his sofa, happy to be back in his own home now his Dad was satisfied with the positive press their visit to the hospital had got. The furore had died down pretty quickly once a prominent footballer had been caught partying the night away before an important match. He’d feel aggrieved that he and Aaron had been relegated to the middle pages if he wasn’t so pleased.
He’d been surprised when Aaron had turned up at his door not a week after the visit to the hospital. He’d been about to ask how he found out where he lived but stopped himself before he could look a fool. Of course Aaron would be able to find out pretty much anything he wanted.
“What?”
“Being a royal.”
“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”
“No? People to cater to your every whim…sounds pretty cushy to me.”
“How’s your life going, from your fancy flat and poncy car?” Aaron teases back laughing.
“Still had to cook my own tea though didn’t I?”
“And you think I didn’t? It’s not all silver salvers round mine you know. Not when it’s just us. Gran, yeah, but that’s not me.” He goes quiet and Robert has the sense to stay quiet. “It’s really not this perfect life people see you know. Like I told you, it’s pretty lonely.”
“Really?”
“Do you think I get to just meet people like you do? Everyone I meet, I’m always wondering if I can trust them, or wondering what they want from me. I’m not confident like my cousin Debbie or Belle, I don’t like the limelight.”
“Oh…” He didn’t really know what to say.
“It’s alright, I’m used to it.”
“You shouldn’t have to be.”
“What are you going to do, stage a revolution?”
“Given my track record of getting things right lately I’m not sure that’d actually help you.” He laughs, sipping at his beer. He marvelled a little at how his life was turning out. Not long ago he’d felt like he had nothing, he and Chrissie were over, he was bored at work and the only person in his family who cared was his sister. Now he was drinking with a member of the royal family.
“Probably not.”
“At least you’ve got me, eh?”
“Really?”
“No…you got me. I can’t keep it in any longer, I’m actually after your money.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Sorry. I was just…it was a joke Aaron.” He sits up, realising he’s put his foot in it, that Aaron’s gone back to being closed off, the frown fully back in place. “I promise. I wouldn’t do that.”
“Plenty would…have.”
“Really?”
“The last guy I was seeing, no one knew, not like I can tell everyone is it. I really thought it might go somewhere. Turns out he just wanted to be able to say he’d had a member of the royal family.” He sets down his mug, hunching his shoulders, pulling his sleeves over his hands as if trying to hide himself away.
“Aaron, that’s awful. Hope you set your guards on him.”
“He was gone, I didn’t care anymore…just…wish it could be different.”
“Can’t you…I mean some of your family have left, well you know, they have regular jobs and that.” Aaron shakes his head.
“I’m too high up…besides my mum would never allow it, even though I barely do anything as it is.”
“Does she get a say? Over your gran I mean.”
“Not really I suppose. It’s just easier, my mum, it’s just difficult.” Robert nods, he doesn’t get it, not at all but he can tell it’s difficult for Aaron and he doesn’t want to push. He likes him, even just sitting here chatting is more fun than he’s had in ages and he doesn’t want to ruin it.
“You said…you couldn’t tell anyone about him. I guess you meant go public, can I ask why not? It’s not like your being gay is a secret is it.” He remembered the interview he’d given when he turned twenty one, the fuss in the papers after about Aaron coming out. He’d thought it incredibly brave, wishing he could be even half as brave as that. He’d only told his sister, couldn’t even think about anyone else knowing.
“It’s not about that, it’s about it being the right person. Until then, it’s best if things are kept…quiet.”
“That’s…terrible.”
“It’s just how it is. You get used to it. Better that than being plastered all over the papers.”
“Is that you or the family talking?”
“I don’t know…you’re the one who’s been getting the headlines lately, what would you prefer?”
“Fair enough.” He picks at the label on his beer bottle, weighing up his thoughts, wondering whether to just go for it. “I, um…as we’re telling truths…no one knows except my sister. I’m bisexual.”
“Oh. Well thanks for telling me, for trusting me.” He lets out a breath, not entirely sure what reaction he expected if any. It was just new to even say it out loud.
“I know it’s not the same and no one’s making me keep quiet.” Not entirely true, his Dad’s opinions made him reluctant to say anything. “But I do get it, in part at least.”
“Thanks. For telling me, for listening. You’re alright you.”
“Gee thanks.”
_____
The next few weeks are the best time Robert’s had for ages, if not forever. He and Aaron talk every day, just stupid stuff like the football scores or something fun that had happened, and he found himself looking for updates on any of his engagements any moment he had spare time.
It was a week ago that it happened, they’d been on his sofa, sitting close watching a movie. He’d suggested the cinema without thinking, before his brain could catch up with the fact that something like that wasn’t simple for Aaron. So they’d settled for an old Bond movie in his flat, complete with a takeaway.
When the film finished he’d leant forward to pick up his drink and he’d felt Aaron’s lips on his, just a slight touch, but enough to make him stutter.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I just wasn’t…well you know.” He sighs. “I’m making a mess of this.”
“So you wouldn’t be averse to it happening again?”
“Averse? Smooth.” He laughs, trying to ease the tension that’s fallen over them.
“You don’t have to laugh at me.” Aaron gets to his feet heading for the door before Robert can get up.
“I’m not. Aaron, wait…” He goes to follow him out of the door but Ellis stands in front of him as Aaron walks away. “Aaron!”
_____
“So have you spoken to him?” Vic asks as she moves around his kitchen. “What am I saying, of course you haven’t. Robert, you’re not going to solve anything sitting here and moping into your beer.”
“Of course I’ve tried to speak to him! He won’t answer me. I can’t exactly turn up on his doorstep can I? I’d end up with a bayonet in my face!”
“Do I have to do everything? You know who you need to talk to don’t you.” He frowns at her. “Nicola.”
“What? No way.”
“She was the one who started all this, making you spend time with each other. Maybe she can come up with another event the two of you can attend. Then he’ll have to talk to you.”
“You’re really quite devious aren’t you, beneath that innocent exterior. Thing is, Nicola’s not exactly one for doing me favours. You could ask her though.”
“Robert!”
“Please Vic. I need to talk to him, to make him see I’m not…well I just need to talk to him.” She glared at him but sighed and nodded. “You’re the best.”
“I’ll be expecting an absolutely massive present for my birthday and Christmas for this.”
“Whatever you want.”
_____
He doesn’t know what Vic said to Nicola but when he meets her at the arts centre where she’s arranged something she’s got that knowing smile on her face.
“The Prince will be here in a minute. You’ll watch a quick performance by the students and look interested and then you’ll meet them. After that, oh dear his car will have been told the wrong time to collect him so you’ll be gallant and offer him a lift in the car your father has kindly loaned us.”
“Gallant?”
“Do you want my help?”
“Yes.”
“Then be quiet.”
“Just one thing, how did you swing the car thing…he’s got bodyguards and all that.”
“I know people. Don’t question it, just make the most of it because I’m not doing you any more favours even if you do send your sister to do your dirty work.”
“You’re a little belter really aren’t you?”
“Yes, and don’t you forget it. Now go on, they should be here any time.”
He hangs around until he hears a ripple of applause outside and he guesses Aaron’s car has arrived.
The event goes without a hitch, even if Aaron doesn’t so much as look in his direction, only doing just what is necessary. When Ellis tells him the car hasn’t turned up the frown deepens on his face and Robert wonders if there’s any point in trying to speak to him.
“I’ve got a car.” He blurts out. “I mean, my Dad loaned me a car for the day…I can take you home. If that’s alright with Ellis.”
Nicola had obviously got to him because he agrees without hesitating and Robert breathes out a sigh of relief. Sitting in the back of the car with a driver and Ellis in front is awkward but he knows it’s his only chance.
“I’m sorry. About the other night.” Aaron doesn’t turn away from the window. “Aaron come on. You just caught me by surprise that’s all. I didn’t laugh at you.”
“Yes you did.”
“No, I laughed at…you sounded so formal that’s all. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.”
“It’s not easy for me, I told you that.”
“I know. I put my foot in it quite a lot if you hadn’t noticed.” Finally he smiles and lowers his voice. “I really wouldn’t mind if you did it again…in case that wasn’t clear.”
“Here?” His eyes flickered to the front of the car.
“Maybe not, but you could come to mine for dinner.”
“Do you know what I really fancy? And don’t say you. I want to go out, just us, where no one knows who we are.”
“And that’s doable is it?” Aaron nods. “Ok.”
_____
“Can’t say this is what I imagined.” He says looking round the burger joint Aaron’s brought him to.
“What did you imagine?”
“I dunno, starched tablecloths, six or seven sets of cutlery.” He teases. “I’m kidding. Just didn’t expect you of all people to know a place like this existed.”
“I’ve been coming here for years. A mate of Ellis’s owns it and he keeps his mouth shut so there’s no press about. I can feel normal for a while if I’m here…and the burgers are pretty good too.” Robert nodded in agreement. “So…what are we?”
“Well I’m Robert…and you…well you keep surprising me.”
“Prat. I meant me and you…is this like a date or what?”
“If you like.” It’s weird, it should feel odd, the prospect of dating royalty, but it doesn’t because Aaron’s nothing like he imagined, there’s no airs and graces, he’s just like anyone else. Maybe he shouldn’t be so surprised but he couldn’t help it. “First date I’ve been on where someone’s needed a bodyguard but I’m sure I’ll get used to it.”
“Ellis is alright. Most of them are, but he’s a little less boring. Not that he couldn’t flatten you in seconds if he needed to.” Robert didn’t doubt it. He’d not seen the man without a smile yet, but he was sure that’d change pretty quick if Aaron was in trouble.
“Has he needed to often?”
“Not him, no.”
“Sorry, I forgot, about what happened when you were a kid. I s’pose your family got a bit more overprotective after that.”
“You know you said, the other night about me not being your usual royal.” He nods. “Sometimes I wish I was.”
“What all the handshaking and knighting people? Can’t really see you doin’ that."
“Maybe not, but the way it is now, I don’t feel like I actually do much of anything.”
“Of course you do, look at the kids at the hospital, they adored you. If you were one of the stuffed shirts you wouldn’t have that.” Aaron doesn’t answer, just pokes at his food. “So why aren’t you?”
“Huh?”
“Why aren’t you out there like the rest. Second in line to the throne is fairly important isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Like I said, my family are overprotective. No one knows this, and you can’t breathe a word Robert.” He nods, he’d never do that. “It wasn’t an attempted snatching, when I was a kid. They actually did take me, only for a few hours but…yeah.”
“Aaron…You must’ve been terrified. What were you, six, seven?” Aaron nods and Robert reaches for his hand. “God.”
“Yeah. It was kept quiet, presumably to stop it being raked over every five minutes, even though it’s in every article written about me. That and to stop someone else doing the same, thinking it was easy. They made up some story about me being rescued by my protection officers before they could ever get me out of the car, and the papers bought it. After that I think my family decided, well my gran, that they wouldn’t put me in harms way again and so I was never given an actual role. In some ways it’s good. I get to pick the stuff I like, the causes I’m interested in, but most of the time I’m bored.”
“So tell them. Tell them you’re an adult now and you want to do more.”
“Maybe.”
“Can’t see anyone trying anything again. I wouldn’t argue with you, let alone Ellis.” That makes him laugh. “Do you think about it much?”
“Not really. It doesn’t bother me much anymore, just like I said, if someone grabs at me, just memories you know.” He nods and tries to change the subject, wants Aaron to smile again.
“So…if this is a date, is it presumptuous of me to ask what happens next.”
“I’d thought that was obvious.” He winks at him with a smile.
“Ha ha. I meant with you being who you are. You said things were kept quiet…is that the case for everyone? Have we got to sneak round?” He wasn’t entirely against the idea, he had no desire to talk to his father about dating Aaron but he wanted to know where he stood.
“Not exactly. I’ve never been serious enough about anyone to tell my family before but in the end I will I suppose. But I don’t think either of us are there yet are we? Let alone the press finding out.”
“No. Definitely not.” He’d had his fill of being in the papers. So, we just carry on as we are then, for now. No point involving anyone else.” Aaron nods. “My Dad will go mad, just as a warning.”
“Yeah? Does that bother you.”
“Probably more than it should.”
“Then like you say, for now we don’t tell anyone. Sneaking around is half the fun, don’t you think?”
“Eat your burger.”
_____
They exist in their happy bubble for the next few months, they’re not really sneaking around but mostly they’re spending time at his place, and the odd time when Aaron sneaks him into the palace. It’s all a bit of a dream, but he never wants it to change because he’s falling for Aaron like he’s never done with anyone before.
“You want to what?” Vic cries when he goes over to Downing Street to see her. She’s the only person he’s told about Aaron, the only one he’d want to tell.
“Would you shout it a bit louder, I don’t think the coppers at the gate quite heard you.”
“Sorry. But…really? You want to propose.”
“Yeah. Do you think I’m being daft? We’ve only been dating a few months, I know, but he’s it Vic, I know it.”
“It’s not like marrying just anyone Rob. You’re going to be in the papers for stuff that you don’t even do, you know that. You’re giving up your privacy, everything.”
“He’s worth it. He really is Vic. He’s not like the others, he’s not how you imagine. He’s like us. He’s funny, he’s clever…he puts up with me.”
“He must be a keeper then. Dad’s going to freak out.”
“Something like that yeah.” He wishes he could tell her, so she could reassure him that it’d be alright but he’s never been able to. She loves their Dad too much he could never do it to her.
“So how are you going to do it?”
“I don’t know. Probably at home, it’s not like we can really go anywhere special, and it doesn’t feel right to do it where we do go.” As much as he liked their dates in the burger place it wasn’t somewhere he wanted to propose. “You could help me cook something special couldn’t you, make it proper, like a real restaurant or something.”
“Yeah, of course I can. You’re really going to do this? With everything that comes with him, his family, the press…all of it.”
“He’s worth it. I don’t want to be without him Vic.”
_____
“You didn’t say we were dressing up. I’m just wearing this.” He tugs at his hoodie, scowling at Robert in his suit.
“It doesn’t matter. You look amazing, as always.”
“Oh god, what’ve you done, you’re putting on the charm.”
“Shut up. I just felt like dressing up. Would you prefer I just took my jacket off?” Aaron nods so Robert takes it off and throws it to one side. “Right, beer?”
“So, what’s your day been like?”
“Boring, you know.”
“Well no, I don’t, do I.” Robert actually liked that he forgot that Aaron didn’t live a normal life but he hands him his beer and tells him about his day, about the annoying clients, the office gossip until their meal is ready.
“This is good.”
“I had help. Vic came over. She’s angling to meet you, just so you know.”
“I don’t mind.”
“We’ll sort something out, I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t.”
“I’ve been thinking.”
“Always dangerous.”
“Ha ha. No, do you ever think about the future, going public I mean.”
“You want to?”
“Well not right now, but do you? Think about telling your family about me, us?”
“Sometimes. I know how it’ll go and that’s not something I’m ready for yet. Not because of you, but…once it’s out there that’s it.” He picks up his beer and moves to the sofa, Robert following. “You’re part of the circus and there’s no stopping it.”
“What if…I mean, what if I wanted to be part of it?”
“Then I’d say you were insane.”
“Stop it. I mean it…I love you.” It wasn’t the first time they’d said it, but every time it brought a smile to their faces. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“What?” He reaches behind him, to the drawer in the side table and retrieves the ring box he’d placed there earlier. “Robert…”
“If I could I’d do this in some fancy restaurant, but I know you’d hate that anyway. But,” He slid off the sofa, onto one knee on the floor. “Aaron, will you marry me?"
“Get up.” His heart drops but he does, sitting further away from Aaron than he had, Aaron immediately moving closer. “Always going to the worst possible outcome aren’t you. Of course I’ll marry you, you idiot.”
“You will.”
“Yeah. For some reason you want to join my mad family and in my book that makes you pretty special.” Robert can’t speak, and Aaron smiles, opening the ring box, taking one and placing it on his finger. “Looks pretty good doesn’t it.”
“Amazing. I know we can’t wear them yet, but…”
“One day we will.” He leans in to kiss him, neither one of them pulling away this time. “I guess now we have to tell my family, and your Dad.”
“Mmm. Maybe not just yet though eh? Much more interesting things we can do tonight than talk about them.”
_____
Weeks passed and still they hadn’t plucked up the courage to tell anyone. Even Vic didn’t know he’d actually asked Aaron, he’d fobbed her off any time she mentioned it. They were happy just the two of them, sharing a secret and they didn’t want it to end even thought they knew one day it had to. Neither of them wanted to let the real world in.
He’d woken one morning after a late night working to a phone full of messages, mostly from Aaron but some from his dad and sister too. He switches on the TV while he wakes up enough to read them, freezing when he hears his name.
“…private texts have been released which seem to suggest that the Prime Ministers son is having an affair with the prince. The palace have refused to comment…”
He just stares at the television, stunned, doesn’t even correct them on the fact it’s not an affair. He can’t make himself think or do anything, just watches as the news shows archive footage of the two of them rehashing old stories as they do. Before he knows it his phone is ringing and he answers without looking.
“Robert, what the hell are you thinking? How dare you embarrass me like this.”
“Dad I…” He stops, nothing he can say will make any difference, he won’t listen.
“Is it true?”
“I…” He wants to talk to Aaron, he doesn’t want to answer him.
“IS IT TRUE!”
“Yes. I’m sorry…” He stops, because he’s not, he loves Aaron even if he’s not told him yet, he loves him and he’s not apologising for that. “No, I’m not sorry. Yes we’re together. We’re getting married.”
“How could you do this. I thought I’d told you what I thought about this.”
“You mean when you hit me? When I was fifteen? I’m an adult now, I can date who I want and there’s nothing you can do about it.” He hoped his voice sounded braver than he felt.
“Your sister is going to be so disappointed Robert.”
“I doubt it, she’s known for ages.” He wants to slap himself for letting that out, now his sister would be getting it in the neck for keeping it from him. He’ll have to call her as soon as he gets off the phone. “Look I’m an adult, I’m not apologising for falling in love.”
He doesn’t get an answer, just the beeps to let him know his father has hung up on him. He sighs, texting Vic an apology before calling Aaron.
“It’s me.” He hears Aaron sigh over the phone. “I’m sorry.”
“What for? I wrote them too. Can you come over? My Gran, and Mum want to see us.” He sounds awful and Robert wishes he could just whisk them away from it all and just be alone. “We’re alright though aren’t we, me and you."
“Yeah, course. Give me half an hour and I’ll be there.”
“Has your Dad said anything?”
“A bit, then he hung up. It’s fine, no more than I expected. I’ll see you soon.”
The trip to the palace is uneventful, thankfully no reporters appear to have found his address, but as they approach the gates the cameras start flashing and all Robert can do is keep his head down as they drive through. Aaron’s waiting with Leyla when he gets out and he wants to just pull Aaron into his arms and tell him everything will be ok, but Leyla’s all but frogmarching them through the hallways.
“We’ve set up in the main sitting room until we can work out what our response is going to be.”
“What do you mean? Aaron and I are together. What kind of response do you want?”
“It’s not as simple as that.” Leyla’s just looking at him as if he’s got two heads. “There are ways of doing this. We should’ve controlled it, made a proper announcement, and now we’re playing catch up.”
“Thank you Leyla, we’ll take it from here. I’ll call you when we’re ready.” Aaron’s Mum is stood at the door, eyes boring into him and he makes himself stare back. They’ve not met before, not properly, but from the things Aaron said he’s already got an impression of her and it’s not particularly good. “Come in, both of you and sit down.”
“How could you do this Aaron? Show us up like this?” She says, her fingernails tapping on the desk, setting Robert’s teeth on edge. He wants to intervene to put her straight, to tell her that he’d been the one who had started emailing, had kept on until Aaron replied, but the squeeze on his hand told him to be quiet.
“Mum, it’s not as if you didn’t know I was gay. Surely even you could work out that one day I’d meet a man I liked.”
“That is not the point! With him Aaron! How does it look, hmm? Your grandmother is meant to be politically impartial. How can she be when you’re cavorting with the Prime Ministers son! No, you’ll have to end it, that’s all there is to it.”
“Now hang on.” He can’t keep quiet, can’t stand to see the way Aaron shrinks into himself as she speaks. “My father’s politics are nothing to do with me.”
“Mum…” Aaron starts but she just holds up a hand to silence him. Only Aaron’s pleading look stops him saying anything.
“We’re waiting for your grandmother and then we’ll get to sorting out this mess.”
“Mess? Is that what you think this is?”
“Robert…”
“No, Aaron. We haven’t done anything wrong. Last time I checked we were two consenting adults who like each other. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Maybe in your world, but in ours it’s a different matter. I told you Aaron, I told you we’d find someone suitable for you.”
"You’re kidding right? It’s 2021, you can’t just arrange marriages.”
“Robert don’t.” Aaron pleaded, and he shut his mouth. “Mum, we’re together, that’s it.”
“No that is not it, Aaron. I’ve called a family meeting, and you will attend and explain yourself.” Aaron shakes his head as he opens his mouth to answer, to tell her not to look down her nose at him. Before he can say anything to Aaron the door opens and the Queen walks in, followed by her heir and others he recognises as Aaron’s extended family.
“Well now, this is all a bit of a pickle isn’t it. Come on then, sit down.” Robert follows Aaron’s lead, sinking into one of the sofas, keeping hold of his hand the whole time. “Oh don’t look so worried Aaron, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed.”
“Mother! This is a mess, one that could’ve been avoided if Aaron had an ounce of sense!”
“Oh be quiet Chastity.” Robert thinks he could quite easily love Aaron’s grandmother if he wasn’t so intimidated by her. “The person you should be angry at is the one selling secrets.”
“No I think we should be angry at them for hiding!”
“No wonder given the way you’re acting!” He bites back. “Such an incentive to be truthful.”
“Robert, don’t.”
“You don’t speak to me like that! That’s beside the point, as is whoever leaked those messages. What’s important is that the two of you have embarrassed the family, the monarchy.”
“How?” He speaks up finally.
“What?”
“How have we embarrassed the family? By falling in love? Last time I checked my father hadn’t yet made that illegal. All we’ve done is send each other texts here and there. It’s not our fault that they got hacked. Probably by some kid in his bedroom with nothing better to do. What?” He asks when he sees Aaron smiling at him.
“Sounds like you’re talking from experience.”
“If it is I’m not likely to admit to anything in front of your grandmother am I?” Aaron grins at him, knowing exactly what he’d been doing. He can’t help noticing that Aaron’s uncle is smiling so maybe not everyone is against them. That’s something at least. “It’s not like they’ve got pictures of us doing anything, it’s just texts. They’re really not that interesting.
“Cheers.” Aaron mutters.
“That’s beside the point, and just because my son inexplicably finds you funny doesn’t mean that I do. Do you have any idea what this could do to the monarchy? I wouldn’t expect a farmers son to understand.”
“Hey!” He stands up. He might have his own issues with his father but he won’t stand for anyone else looking down on him. “I don’t think you understand, sat up here in your castle. It’s the twenty first century, maybe the monarchy should drag itself into it.”
“Oh no doubt you’d like that. That’s what started all this. He’s just infatuated you know, Aaron. Wants to get his feet under the table so he can change us, maybe even get rid of us altogether!”
“Mum you’re being ridiculous and hysterical.” Aaron turns to his grandmother. “Gran, we’re sorry about all this, honestly, but we’re not sorry we’re together.”
“Aaron love, it’s alright. Your mother is just a bit overwrought as usual.”
“Mother!”
“Hush. I think what’s best is if the two of you wait next door while we chat and then we’ll talk it over.” Aaron sighs but he nods and motions for Robert to follow him.
They escape then, and he holds Aaron as he cries, so angry he wants to storm back in and have it out with her.
“You don’t have to put up with this you know.”
“I do. It’s how it works.”
“So what, you’re just going to let her run your life?”
“What choice do I have?”
“Stand up to her. Someone has to change things, and I’m right here with you. Don’t make yourself unhappy.”
“That’s not how it goes.”
“Well it should be! Not you being sent out of the room while they decide your fate for you as if you were six years old”
“Alright sunshine?” He turns to see Aaron’s uncle heading for them and Aaron’s nodding. “Your mum…she’s…”
“Controlling.” He says before he can stop himself.
“You’d do well to be quiet a minute about stuff you don’t understand.” He nods, he doesn’t want to make things any worse for Aaron. Besides he might not be frightened by him like many are but he’s also not stupid. “Why don’t you come back and we’ll get this sorted.”
“There’s nothing to sort Cain, we’re together.”
“No one’s saying different, but there are things to talk about, now come on. You too.”
They go back in and Robert’s surprised to see that Chas is still there, he’d half expected her to walk out. Maybe wishful thinking on his part.
“Ah there you are. Now then love, let’s talk about this sensibly and without any drama.” She turns to look at her daughter fixing her with a stare. Robert wants to kiss her, maybe would if it wouldn’t get him locked up.
“Thanks Gran.” Aaron goes to sit beside her, clinging onto Robert’s hand so he has no choice but to follow. “I really am sorry I didn’t come and tell you myself, we were planning to but…”
“Oh that’s all done with now. What we’re going to do is call Leyla back in here and sort this out. We’ll put out a proper announcement and tell everyone that we’re all very happy for you and that they should respect your privacy, and that will be that.”
“But…” Chas pipes up and Robert can’t help the glare he sends her way.
“And that will be that! Understood?” She fixes her gaze on her daughter and Robert can’t help but be impressed. “Now, there’ll probably be a few events you can both attend you know, but other than that both of you carry on.”
Robert can’t help but look at Aaron, sees him coming out of the shell he’d retreated into when his mother had been shouting.
“Actually gran, I think I’d like to do more. I know why you’ve not asked before, but I think I should.” Robert’s smile is making his face ache but he’s so proud of Aaron for telling them what he wants he doesn’t care.
“We can talk about that love…it’ll be lovely to have you getting stuck in. Now is that all?”
“Um…” He speaks up, ignores Aaron’s frantic whispering, but he figures that now is as good a time as any. “There’s just one other thing, if that’s alright I mean.”
“Oh get on with it.” Cain grumbles.
“I asked Aaron to marry me, and he said yes. I just thought…well that might as well go in the statement as well, if we’re being all up front and that.” He sits back with a smile as all hell breaks loose once more. Even Aaron kicking his shin can’t dent his enjoyment.
_____
“Your Royal Highness, Mr Sugden is here.” Robert can imagine the way Aaron smiled as the courtier left and Robert walked in the room. They weren’t usually so formal, he could come and go pretty much as he pleased these days, but this week just wasn’t ordinary.
When he walks in Aaron’s on the phone and he sits to wait. It was moments like this that made him marvel at how much his life had changed. These days he’s welcomed at the palace like an old friend rather than with suspicion.
Now he was just as likely to be included on the guest list with world leaders as he used to be invited to business dinners.
Ever since their engagement had been announced it had been like a whirlwind, of events, of planning, of dealing with Aaron’s family. Most of them had been happy for them, Robert immediately got the impression that Aaron was the darling of the family, and he knew why, and he’d been welcomed with open arms.
“Where’d you go?” Aaron’s waving a hand in front of his face, and he realised he’d zoned out while Aaron had been talking.
“Nowhere, just thinking. You alright?” His mind has been doing it all day, wandering off, reminiscing he supposed.
“Yeah, fed up with all this nonsense. Better now you're here.”
“Our wedding is nonsense?” He’s teasing, but maybe a part of him still needs the reassurance.
“No! The rest of it, the ceremony room, the flowers, the napkins, and whatever other problems Leyla has been coming to me about for the past month and a half. I just want to marry you, why do I care what colour the napkins are? All you do is wipe your mouth, or worse on them.” Robert can’t keep the laughter in any longer, backing off when Aaron slaps a hand on his chest. “It’s alright for you, you get to leave of an evening. I’m stuck with it!”
“As if I’ve got it any better? I’ve got Vic staying! It doesn’t matter. In two days it’ll all be over and we’ll be off to somewhere hot and private leaving all of this behind.”
“The way our luck’s gone there’ll be a volcanic eruption or something.”
“Ah there’s my Aaron, always looking on the bright side.”
“You have to admit, it’s not exactly been plain sailing.”
“No, but we got through it didn’t we? That’s the important thing. Just this last interview to do and then it’s just us.”
“At a dinner for both our families, that your idea of just us?” He wraps his arms round him then, knows just how much he hates all the pomp that comes with his family, how much he enjoyed sneaking out those times, just the two of them and Ellis as security, when they’d go to the burger joint they could and just be, well normal. They hadn’t cared that most of their dates were in his flat, it didn’t matter as long as they were together.
He hates to think how Aaron coped before they met, stuck in this world, trying to be something he isn’t. They were both stuck now, not that he minded quite so much, he’d rather be here than back at Downing Street with his father.
“What are you thinking?” Aaron asked as he let him go, straightening out his tie as he did.
“Just about Nicola, ordering me to be your new best friend. Don’t think she expected us to end up here. Neither did I to be fair."He could remember he face, the day it had all come out, shouting at them until he’d thought she’d explode before she burst into laughing, patting him on the back and wishing him luck.
“You were a bit of a prick back then.”
“And you were a grumpy git. Still are to be honest.” He laughs and Aaron’s pout. “I’m kidding. Do you think we can do this?”
“Bit late now. My mother will have you in the tower if you so much as hurt a single hair on my head let alone jilt me.”
“It’s even odds that she’ll do it anyway even if I don’t.” His usual charm had failed to win her round and he didn’t think he ever would. Whatever he tried, no matter how good an idea it was or how much Aaron asked her to be nice she barely gave him the time of day. “I am trying with her you know.”
“I know. Everyone can see it except her. I don’t care, Robert. I love you. If she doesn’t stop she’ll end up pushing me away and I’d rather that happened when I was with you than be on my own.”
“I hate to think of you back then, dealing with her all alone, with all of it.”
“Just like I hate to think of you dealing with your Dad. We can’t change the past, but from now on we’ve got each other.”
“Nothing else matters.”
“Too right.” He reached up to kiss him. “Come on, or we’ll be late.”
“Last chance to elope.” He asks, only semi joking. They’d even talked about it once, even thought they knew it was a pipe dream.
_____
He swallows the water from the glass on the table as though it’s a lifeline, other hand clasped in Aaron’s as they wait for all the cameras to finish setting up. Aaron looks calmer but then he’s done this before. Every royal does an interview when they hit twenty one, but this is Robert’s first time, the nearest he’d got was standing outside number ten the day after his Dad was elected and all he’d had to do then was wave.
“Alright?” Aaron whispers.
“Yeah.” He turns, to try and ignore the cameras, only to see Aaron’s uncle standing in the doorway, arms crossed.
“He’s on our side you know.”
“Yeah. Still wish he looked less like he’d gladly bury me in the palace grounds.”
“That’s just Cain. He’s a teddy bear.”
“Hmm.”
“Right, I think we’re ready.” Leyla tells them, giving them a once over and Robert can’t help but think back to school, as if he’s being inspected. “You’ll do. Now, you remember what we’ve said?” He nods, they’d met the interviewer and everything, going over it all. It hadn’t made him feel any better. He just had to get through it.
“Yes. It’s imprinted on my brain Leyla. You and Nicola have drummed it into us. We’ll be good boys.” Aaron tells her and Robert resists the urge to say something to make him laugh.
With that she goes and the camera lights are switched on. Robert takes a deep breath and puts on the face he usually reserved for clients he detested. It felt appropriate.
“Your Royal Highness, Robert, thank you for granting us this interview. I wanted to start by talking about how the two of you met. I believe it wasn’t love at first sight as it were.”
“Not exactly.” Aaron laughs and squeezes Robert’s hand. “You could say that we disagreed on certain ideas he had about my family.”
“I’d say it was more that I could see the potential for a little bit of modernisation.” It was a complete lie and Aaron knew it. Although Queen Faith had actually begun to make some changes, nothing big as yet but it had left him feeling slightly vindicated.
“Of course there were reports of a fight between you. Robert I believe you were left with a black eye.”
“Oh no.” He jumps in before Aaron can feel guilty all over again. “It was nothing, just a disagreement and I tripped. It startled Aaron. Anyone would react that way if startled I’d say.”
“And your comments that evening?” She pressed.
“Shouldn’t be held against him anymore than some of the things I’ve said or done in the past should be held against me.” Aaron insists, taking his hand once again.
Many times over the last couple of months on the joint engagements they’d done in the lead up to the wedding had he said something sarcastic or cracked a joke before realising he’d put his foot in it. Aaron had been there to smooth over ruffled feathers, to say a few words to undo the mess he’d got them in.
He’d drifted off again, thinking back to how miserable he’d been that night, not realising just how everything was about to change only coming back to the present when Aaron nudges his shoulder, and he has to ask the interviewer to repeat her question.
“I asked what your first impressions were of Prince Aaron?” He looks sideways, sees Aaron smirking.
“I thought he was pretty moody to be honest. He hadn’t laughed at any of my jokes.”
“That’s because your jokes just aren’t funny.” Aaron fires back and he knows what he’s doing, trying to make them forget all of the tension there’d been, to move the interview on. It was their own fault, they’d both agreed it was to be no holds barred, none of this pre-agreed nonsense.
“I’ll have you know I’m extremely funny.”
“Right, and next you’ll be telling me you’re a good dancer.”
“If I may…I understand that you were instructed to play nice as it were after the negative press headlines. How did that feel?”
“You get used to it.” Aaron says, shrugging.
“We got on with it, I wanted to undo any damage I’d caused, and my father’s head of communications came up with a plan. It’s not unheard of. Besides which, without her, we wouldn’t be here now, would we?” He turns on his best smile, still doesn’t see what anyone finds so interesting about it all.
“You didn’t feel bad about deceiving people, pretending to be friends when in fact you couldn’t stand the sight of each other.”
“I wouldn’t say that. Have you seen him?” His eyes widen, he hadn’t meant to say that at all. “What I mean is…um…”
“What he’s trying to say, unsuccessfully, is that we both understand how these things work. We were glad to get together for the charities we worked with during that time, and the fact that it brought us together was a pretty good by product. In fact we’re asking that instead of gifts and stuff, that we really do appreciate, that people give to the chosen charities instead.” Robert nods along, thanking goodness Aaron was miles better at this than him. He could only wonder what his Dad would be thinking when he watched.
“So how exactly did things change. How did you go from enemies to a couple?”
“Ah well. To be honest it’s pretty boring.”
“I’m sure it’s not, but our viewers would love to know.”
“Well it started with a security scare. Our protection officers took us to an internal room where we’d be safe, and we were there for quite a while and we got talking.”
“We found out that we had far more in common than either of us realised, and that was it really.”“So it was that moment that changed everything?”
“Oh no I still thought he was a prat, just not a complete idiot.” Aaron laughs. “We just started talking more, texting the odd funny story or something that had happened in our day and it went from there.”
“There’s not many people who really understand the scrutiny you’re under if your family is in the public eye. I don’t even understand how Aaron feels because it’s a different situation to myself, but I do know that it’s incredibly hard to find people to trust, to know that they like you because of you, not because of who you are. So yeah, I guess we kind of gravitated towards each other, and became friends before we realised how we felt about each other.”
“Speaking of that trust, how did you feel when your private texts and conversations were made public.”
“Devastated. We should be able to expect the same level of privacy as anyone else.”
“You don’t think the public had a right to know?”
“No. I don’t want to know about their relationships unless they want to tell me so why should they expect to know about mine.” Aaron answers and Robert can see the steely look in his eyes that he knows so well.
“You weren’t trying to hide?”
“No.”
“But you can understand why it might seem like you were, the constant denials while behind the scenes you were sneaking around.”
“We’re entitled to a private life. We shouldn’t have to feel pressured to reveal anything about our lives before we’re ready. We would’ve gone public when we were fully ready.”
“Can you tell me how you felt when it did become public knowledge?” Robert looked at Aaron remembering exactly how he felt. “How your families reacted.”
His Dad had been furious, would’ve disowned him if it wouldn’t have looked so bad to the electorate in an election year. As it was he’d had to be persuaded by Victoria to even put out a statement of support. Ever since he’d been frosty with him if they had to be in the same room. Vic had tried her best but he wouldn’t budge. Robert hated that despite everything he found he missed him even thought he can’t remember the last time they had a proper conversation.
“Disappointed of course, us that is, that someone would take private communications and leak them to the press. As we’ve said, whoever you are you are entitled to some amount of privacy. As for our families, they’ve been nothing but supportive.” He doesn’t catch Aaron’s eye as he speaks, because they both know it’s a lie.
In the end it had done neither family any harm, the public had loved them from the start, lapping up all and any photographs or stories, so much so that they’d pretty much holed up in his apartment for a good month hoping the fuss would die down. Both the royal family and his father had never been more popular, not that their parents were grateful.
“Yes, we all remember the speeches they gave.” Robert would dearly love to put her straight, to tell her just how his father had needed to be forced to support him but it wouldn’t do any good. Who would believe him anyway.
“Of course.” Aaron was closed off, his mother still did nothing but make little comments every time they saw her. She couldn’t stop them marrying, not once his Gran had given her blessing, but she could make it difficult for her son and Robert hated her how it made Aaron feel.
“Now, moving onto the wedding.” Robert relaxed, this was better, this was something good they could talk about. “The guest list is quite an eclectic mix, and not the usual list of people for a royal wedding.”
“Well we’re not your usual royal couple.” Aaron tells her. “My grandmother told me I should have who I want there, not who I’m told to have. I’m…we’re very grateful to her.”
“And, can I ask where your honeymoon will be?”
“No.” He tells her, a little shortly.
“What he means is, he’s being mean and won’t tell me.”
“Do I really have to explain the concept of a surprise again?” He looked at the interviewer as if to say, see what I have to deal with.
“And after the wedding, will you be residing in one of the royal residences?”
“Oh, well we haven’t really decided yet.” That was an understatement. What he should’ve said was they were still arguing about it. Robert wanted them to live in his flat, it was nice enough, with security already in place, while Aaron, or more precisely his family, wanted them to have an apartment in one of the palaces.
“And lastly, what is it you love the most about each other?”
“I suppose, having someone there for the bad days, for the good times. Knowing that he’s always there for me, no matter what, whether I mess up or whether I’m doing something brilliant. I think that’s what everyone wants isn’t it?” He knew that was a dig at his father even if it was subtle, but he didn’t care. That’s exactly what Aaron gave him, unconditional support.
“Your royal highness? What about you?”
“He makes me feel safe.”
_____
Robert had dragged Aaron back to his flat after the interview, knowing his family would be all over him otherwise. His final comment would’ve raised some eyebrows and Robert wanted to protect him from it the best he could. They’d have to go back, they had the dinner to attend but they could just take some time for themselves first.
“Are you alright?” He asks, handing him a mug of strong tea, just how he liked it. “What you said…is that true? That I make you feel safe?”
“Yeah. Course you do.”
“No, I mean…did you not before?” Aaron shrugs.
“I s’pose. The bodyguards and stuff mean we’re safe, but…being who I am means people think we’re their property. Everywhere we go there’s people, pushing and shoving, trying to get close, wanting photos, all that. But with you, you don’t expect anything.”
“I didn’t realise. It always looked like the dream life I suppose.”
“Well it’s not terrible but, I guess I’ve never felt completely safe, as if there’s always something around the corner. It’s not like I could say anything, you just have to put up with it and get on with the job.” Robert wants to storm up to the palace, and rail at his mother for not seeing how much her son was suffering. He knows he can’t, some things you just can’t change. “Ever since I was a kid they kept me from it way longer than anyone else like I told you but I couldn’t stay hidden forever.”
“Well not any more. You’ve got me.”
“I know.”
“It’s been a hell of a few months hasn’t it?” He chuckles. “Did you think we’d ever get here?”
“Course.”
“Liar.”
“I did. I knew how I felt about you and nothing was getting in the way of that.”
“Tomorrow just makes it all official, that’s all.”
“No getting rid of me after that.”
“Good.” He laughs and they set about getting ready for the evening ahead.
“Where do you keep going?” Aaron asks a while later and he realises he’d zoned out again as he was tying his tie. He should really stop that, otherwise it might happen during the vows and that would be disastrous.
“Nowhere, just thinking about everything that’s happened, that’s all.”
“No second thoughts then.”
“Never. I suppose we should go.” Neither of them was particularly looking forward to the formal dinner. It had been a compromise, the wedding and reception were to be just how they wanted, but they’d had to agree to the more formal event beforehand. “It’ll be alright, and then tomorrow is our day.”
_____
Robert’s up early the next morning, the sun barely risen as he looks out of his window. It was his wedding day. He couldn’t believe it was finally here. He wants to text Aaron but the man was annoyingly traditional and had insisted on no contact after the night before.
“Rob, you awake?” His sister’s voice floats through the door and he tells her to come in. “You alright?”
“Yeah. Just missing Aaron, that’s all.” She gets that look, the one as if she’s going to cry and he rolls his eyes fondly and hugs her. She’s stood by him the whole way through, standing up to their Dad for him and helping them with all the plans. “You going to cook your old brother breakfast then?”
“I’m not waiting on you hand and foot just because you’re marrying into royalty.”
“It’s my wedding day! Go on, while I have a shower. We’ve got to be at the palace at ten.”
“I can’t believe it Rob, it’s so exciting! Like a fairytale.”
“Mmm.” It was far too fancy for him but Aaron’s position pretty much demanded it. Maybe it’d be fun if he just relaxed and let himself enjoy it. To her credit the Queen had made it all as easy as she could but there were some things that even she had no control over.
“Have you heard from Dad?” He shakes his head. He hadn’t spoken to him directly since that morning when everything blew apart. Not that he’d really expected different. In public he’d been all smiles and support but Robert knew the truth, knew the smiles didn’t reach his eyes, could see the strain on his face. He knew he’d turn up, he couldn’t not in his position, but he didn’t expect anything else. “I don’t understand him Rob.”
“It’s alright. Me and Dad, it’s not like it’s ever been any different. It used to bother me, but not any more. He’s made his choice. Same with Andy. So, don’t worry about it, ok? I’ve got you, haven’t I?”
“Of course you have! Now go on, shower or you’ll be late.”
A couple of hours later they’re in the car on the way to the palace. He has to admit they do know how to put on a show, flags draped all along the route, and crowds are lining the streets. He can’t deny feeling a little nervous, knowing the eyes of the world are on them. He and Aaron are private, neither of them like the limelight but they’re both practical enough to know they can’t avoid it on a day like this.
The rest of the morning is mostly waiting about in one of the side rooms, Leyla in and out but other than that it’s just him and Vic. He wonders how Aaron’s feeling and after a while the urge to go to him is too much.
“Where are you going?”
“To find Aaron.” He tells are he peeks out of the door to check the hallway.
“You can’t!”
“I have to.” Before she can stop him he slips out of the door. He knows where Aaron’s rooms are, he just needs to get there unseen. Aaron had shown him the back way round before he just hopes he can remember it. He wouldn’t want to burst in on the Queen, or god forbid Aaron’s mother by mistake.
Eventually he finds it, knocks quietly on the door before going in. Aaron’s just sitting on the bed, already dressed, but he looks sad and for a minute Robert thinks he’s had second thoughts. Then he looks round, smiling as soon as he sees him.
“What are you doing here? We said we wouldn’t.”
“Think you’ll find that was all you. I needed to see you. Everything alright?”
“Yeah…just, well, Mum was in before.” Robert sighs. “Why can’t she just be happy for me? Everyone else is, the public love us, it’s just her.”
“I’m going to say something that you might slap me for, but your Mum doesn’t matter. It’s not our fault if she’s just too bitter to be happy. Maybe she’s miserable in her own relationship and it’s coming out on us, I don’t know, but I do know that a parent should be happy for their child on their wedding day and the fact she’s not is not your fault. It’s all her.”
“I know…I just…”
“Yeah, I know.” He felt the same, as many times as he denied it, he wanted his dad’s approval more than anything even though he knew he’d never get it. It hurt all the same that it wasn’t there. “Do you want to…I don’t know, wait? Do this another time.”
“What? Do you?”
“No! I just…it’s meant to be the happiest day of your life isn’t it, but it’s bothering you.” He shrugged.
“We can’t. Everything’s sorted, planned.”
“Want to bet? My car’s downstairs.” He winks at him, not entirely serious but if Aaron asked he’d do it. “Well?”
“No. I’ll be alright in a minute. You’d really do that for me though? Just leave?”
“There’s not much I wouldn’t do for you, you know that.”
“I don’t think anyone’s ever…I mean I know my family love me but…”
“I know. Good job we’ve got each other then, isn’t it?” He wrapped an arm around him, not caring if he creased his suit or not. “You ready?”
“Yeah. You should go back to Vic.”
“We’ll collect her on the way. I’m not leaving you. We’re doing this together, all the way.”
A few minutes later they’re at the ceremony room, hand in hand, and by the end of the day almost every news outlet is proclaiming never to have seen a couple so in love.
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In Touch, May 10
You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks
Cover: Queen Elizabeth begs Duchess Kate to stop Meghan Markle now
Page 1: Contents
Page 2: Take a Hike -- consider this your nature explorer starter kit -- Nina Dobrev
Page 4: Lizzo finally decided to shoot her shot with longtime crush Chris Evans and in a TikTok video, she revealed she slid into his Instagram DMs, saying she knows she not going to marry him, and it hurts her to the core because he's a rare breed -- two days later, Chris responded and Lizzo, who jokingly proposed marriage to Chris in a 2019 tweet, shared her excited reaction to receiving his kissing emoji and message -- Chris wrote no shame in a drunk DM, God knows he's done worse on this app, referencing the NSFW shot of himself he accidentally posted last year -- in the meantime, a new man stepped up: Chet Hanks, who said if it don't work out, he's here, to Lizzo
Page 6: Crib of the Week -- Bryan Cranston's eco-friendly beach house
Page 7: Bad Guest of the Week -- Kyra Sedgwick on cops rushing to Tom Cruise's house after she pressed what turned out to be a panic button during one of his dinner parties, Superfan of the Week -- Kim Kardashian upon learning her corset maker also created an undergarment for her beloved Bridgerton, Number of the Week -- 23 days it took Chrissy Teigen to return to Twitter after quitting in March, Makeover of the Week -- Halsey debuted yellow locks to show off a psychedelic new collection from her About-Face makeup, Winners of the Week -- Downton Abbey fans because a second film based on the hit show and featuring most of the main cast is coming to theaters this Christmas, Loser of the Week -- Prince Andrew after an obsessed fan is arrested after talking her way into his home and wandering around looking for him for 20 minutes
Page 8: Up Close -- Madonna strikes a pose with a big plate of pasta at Hollywood hotspot Craig's, Jennifer Aniston kicking back on The Morning Show set, Jennifer Lopez taking a selfie with Shotgun Wedding co-stars Josh Duhamel and Lenny Kravitz on the last day of shooting
Page 10: Animal Instincts -- Cher with Kaavan the elephant who she helped rescue from a Pakistani zoo, Kaley Cuoco and her baby horse Zee-Yah, shirtless Tyler Cameron and his dog Harley
Page 12: Heidi Klum stuck a toilet plunger on Howie Mandel's head with Sofia Vergara on America's Got Talent, Tom Cruise wearing a large face mask on the set of Mission: Impossible 7 with co-star Hayley Atwell in North Yorkshire in England, Kate Hudson jumping into the pool to celebrate the launch of Fabletics' new active swim line, Liam Hemsworth with tousled hair
Page 14: 93rd Annual Academy Awards -- fashion -- from hot hues to glimmering gowns, it was an evening of star-studded style -- Carey Mulligan, Regina King
Page 15: Zendaya, Margot Robbie, Amanda Seyfried
Page 16: Daniel Kaluuya watched as his Supporting Actor Oscar got engraved, Glenn Close may have lost again but she won Funniest Moment of the Night when she did the Da Butt dance, Yuh-Jung Youn with Brad Pitt, Reese Witherspoon couldn't resist a selfie in front of a wall of Oscars, Anthony Hopkins' win for Lead Actor was considered a major upset and Chadwick Boseman fans were irate and one industry insider said the whole show was a disaster
Page 20: Caitlyn Jenner has thrown her designer hat into the ring to become the next governor of California, saying she is a proven winner and the only outsider who can put an end to Gavin Newsom's disastrous time as governor, but she has her work cut out for her as her critics immediately pointed out that she sat out two-thirds of the elections she could have voted in since 2000 and not only that, the Olympic champion has never held elected office nor managed a major business and even the LGBTQ community and her former family the Kardashians refuse to get behind her as the LGBTQ community remembers the Republican supported Donald Trump who didn't exactly champion their rights and as for the Kardashians (who lean Democratic), they think Caitlyn just wants to be in the spotlight again and will turn her campaign into her next reality show, but Caitlyn insists she's in it for all the right reasons and plans to focus on the issues, not camera angles, and make California great again
Page 21: Kelly Osbourne got honest with her fans, admitting that she relapsed and she's not proud of it, but she just wants to let them know that she's sober today and will be sober tomorrow -- Kelly, who first encountered drugs at 13 when she took liquid Vicodin after she had her tonsils removed, celebrated three years of sobriety in August 2020, but shortly after, she slid right back into her old ways and it was bad, but she made it back, and this time she says she's really serious about staying sober and her friends fear the worst, because they've heard her say that before and they just pray that she means it
Page 22: Cover Story -- The Plot to Stop Meghan Markle -- desperate to save her family from public ruin, Queen Elizabeth gives Kate Middleton a special mission -- Prince Harry and Meghan have made it clear they're willing to go public with more complaints which worries the queen -- the queen is eternally grateful for Duchess Kate's loyalty and she knows she can trust Kate to be discreet
Page 25: Prince Louis and Archie have gotten so big -- Duchess Kate and Prince William's youngest son Prince Louis just turned 3, while Meghan Markle and Prince Harry's son Archie has just turned 2, and new adorable photos show they've both changed a lot
Page 26: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones: How They Saved Their Marriage -- Catherine reveals what's kept her and Michael together through thick and thin
Page 28: George Clooney: Fame, Fatherhood and Turning 60 -- as he hits a big milestone, George reflects on choosing family over career and why life has never been better
Page 30: Julia Roberts finally finds happiness -- the actress makes a life-changing decision that saves her sanity and her marriage -- Julia and her husband Danny Moder, who've long been based in Malibu, made a bold move, buying a Victorian Revival-style home in San Francisco last year and Julia is starting over in San Francisco and it's a new and exciting time for her and Danny
Page 32: The Big Interview -- Mike and Maryse Mizanin on their reality show Miz and Mrs: this season is the craziest yet
Page 36: Beauty Buzz -- Shop Her Glam: Andra Day on Oscar night
Page 38: Style Spotlight -- rainy day essentials -- don't let the drizzle dampen your style -- Karlie Kloss
Page 40: Animal Overload -- my cat looks like Leonardo DiCaprio
Page 46: Horoscope -- Taurus George Clooney turned 60 on May 6
Page 48: Last Laughs
#tabloid#grain of salt#tabloid toc#tabloidtoc#queen elizabeth#kate middleton#duchess kate#catherine duchess of cambridge#meghan markle#prince harry#oscars#oscars 2021#academy awards#academy awards 2021#prince louis#archie mountbatten windsor#archie mountbatten-windsor#michael douglas#catherine zeta jones#catherine zeta-jones#george clooney#julia roberts#danny moder#mike mizanin#maryse mizanin#miz and mrs#andra day#chris evans#lizzo#kelly osbourne
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The story of us
Robron week day 7 - History (not the fic theme i cheated)
AO3 link here
Seb struggles with a relationship and Aaron gives him advice through his own experiences.
Seb was out on a date with his girlfriend. Emily, she was called. They’d met at school and had been dating for a few months now – it was their three-month anniversary. Seb had an idea to take her to the cricket pavilion, he made a picnic and they were going there for lunch.
Aaron and Robert were sat at the table in the kitchen, Robert was going over some haulage contracts and Aaron was scrolling through his phone when the door slammed.
They both turned towards the noise, glancing at each other briefly.
“Seb?” Aaron called, standing up from his chair and walking towards the door.
A red eyed and puffy Seb walked through the door, sniffing and wiping at his eyes. He was looking down at the floor, averting his eyes from his dad’s as he made his way over to the stairs.
“Hey, Seb.” Aaron rushed to grab his arm, “What happened?”
Seb pulled his arm free and sighed, still not making eye contact, “We broke up, that’s all.”
Robert put down the piece of paper he was holding, looking at Aaron who glanced back at him with sad eyes. “Oh, mate. I’m sorry.” He said gently.
Seb bit his lip and nodded his eyes, “It’s fine. It’s my fault anyway.”
“What do you mean its your fault?” Aaron asked, resting his hand onto Seb’s shoulder, “If you said anything, I’m sure she knows you didn’t mean it-”
“I told her I loved her.” Seb blurted out, finally looking between his dads.
Both Aaron and Robert’s mouths opened in shock, completely clueless on what to say.
Seb nodded and wiped at his eyes again, “I told her I loved her, and she couldn’t say it back.” He sucked in a harsh breath as he looked up the stairs. “I’m just- I’m going up to my room.”
He smiled sadly at the floor as he slowly made his way upstairs, quickening his pace as he got to the top and quickly closing his bedroom door.
Aaron let out a sigh and slowly wandered over to the table to sit opposite Robert. “Wow.” He breathed out, watching Robert nod and look upstairs.
“I can’t believe it.” He said quietly, “I didn’t think they were that serious.”
“Me neither,” Aaron admitted, “Do you think- what he said is the whole story?”
“What do you mean?” Robert quizzed, looking back at him, leaning his elbows on the table.
Aaron let out a breath and chewed on his lip, “I mean, do you think maybe she just- she stuttered or hesitated and he was- I don’t know, he was nervous and took it as denial.”
Robert looked like he was contemplating it before sighing and looking down at the contracts again, “I don’t know, but don’t push him. If he thinks we don’t believe him, we’ll never get anything out of him.”
“Gets that from you.” Aaron teased, laughing slightly when Robert pulled a face. “No, I think I know what to do.”
Seb was lying on his bed, his earbuds plugged in and a random song that he found on the family downloads playing. The blinds were shut, and his light was off. He tried to close his eyes and go to sleep, try to pretend that today hadn’t happened.
He tried not to look at the notifications popping up on his phone but the temptation was still there. He sneaked a look and saw the 5 missed calls and messages
Em: Seb please call me back, we need to talk.
Em: I need to explain myself, just please pick up.
He turned his phone over and shoved his head into the pillow. He was only sixteen. He knew his first love wasn’t going to be his last, he’d found that out from his dads and their own stories but actually living through it was a lot harder than he had expected.
A knock on his door kicked him out of his thoughts and he grunted into his pillow, wishing whoever it was could leave him to wallow. They knocked again though, and his room was suddenly filtered with light from the landing. He turned to face the open door to see Aaron stood there, a bowl in his hand.
“Your dad made- well burned popcorn if you want it.” He said gently, leaning against the doorframe.
Seb just shook his head and turned back around to face away from him. He didn’t leave, instead he just closed the door, turned a lamp on and sat down on the side of the bed.
“I don’t want to talk.” He murmured, bringing the duvet over his head.
He heard Aaron shuffle around and then something heavy was placed on his leg. “I don’t want you to talk, I want you to read.”
“What?” Seb asked, confused as he turned around in his duvet to sit up against the headboard. Aaron gestured towards the book that was now laying next to him on the bed. He picked it up. It was dark leather and had an elastic tie around the front to hold it closed. “What is this?”
Aaron took a deep breath in and unhooked the elastic band, opening the book. “It’s my diary.”
Seb scoffed, “You have a diary?”
“No. Not anymore.” Aaron quickly defended himself, “When I was younger. It helped, a lot. Before I had a counsellor, I would write all my messed up thoughts in that diary.”
Seb opened the front cover. He recognised the scrawl of his dad’s handwriting on the first page.
“December 4th 2014”
“Dad, I- why are you showing me this?” He stammered, closing the book and pushing it back over to Aaron.
“I thought you might like to see it from another point of view.” Aaron explained.
“What do you mean?”
“Read it.” Aaron told him as he pushed the diary back onto his lap and stood up, “You’ll understand what I mean.”
Aaron walked out the room slowly and quietly closed the door behind him, leaving Seb holding the diary on his lap.
-
It was weird. Seb felt weird, reading his dad’s diary. He knew that even though he was told to read it, he almost felt like he was doing something wrong.
His phone pinged again,
Em: I’m sorry, I really am. Please just text me or call me so we can talk. Whenever you’re ready.
He turned the phone off, pushing it off his bed so it landed with a thump on the carpet. He took a deep breath in and opened the book.
December 4th, 2014
I don’t know what’s going on. I want to scream it, I want to tell my mum, paddy, vic, anyone. I’m confused, I’m angry, I’m jealous. Why am I jealous? Because he’s with Chrissie?
Robert Sugden kissed me. He kissed me and then he came back for more. He’s hiding, though. He’s scared to admit what he really is.
Maybe I should just stay away from him.
Seb had heard this story a million times. How his dads were so in love with each other that they couldn’t keep away. How his dad didn’t regret the breaking up of his first marriage, as long as it meant he could be himself, with Aaron.
He skipped ahead a few pages, skim reading a few words every now and then. His writing was rather large on the page so he could get the gist of what each entry involved. Almost every page started with the word Robert.
March 26th 2015
Robert told me loved me. I know I’ve said it before, I know how I feel. It’s not just because I want him suffer. Ok, maybe I do, considering what he put me through. But I do love him. No matter how hard I try to tell myself I don’t, that he’s bad for me. I do. And I can’t get over the fact.
Seb groaned at the soppyness and skipped a bunch of pages. One page had scribbles and doodles around the outside, angry ones.
July 19th 2016
So, Robert’s moving in. I am happy, I’m excited. It’s a new beginning for the both of us and it makes our relationship seem more real.
It also means I don’t think I will have much time to write in here anymore. I guess that’s good. Finally, I have something in my life that’s steady, that’s constant. I love him, I really do. Sometimes I look at him and I can feel my heart multiply in size with the love that I feel.
I don’t tell him though. He does tell me and I know he means it but there’s this feeling in my stomach. The feeling that when I tell him, it’ll all be real. I’ll be transported out of this happy wonderland life that we’re living and get dumped in the real world.
Why am I scared?
Seb’s heart sunk. He knew that they loved eachother and he’d heard them tell eachother that loads of times. He couldn’t imagine it being that hard, especially not for them.
He turned the next page but it was blank. He turned another page and another until he found one with slightly neater handwriting this time, it seemed less – angry.
July 11th 2017
I guess we’re starting this up again, then? I’m surprised I even found it to be honest. I assumed it would have gotten lost in the move.
It’s crazy how time flies. Last time I wrote in here, we were moving into the pub. Now Robert’s having a baby.
He’s with Rebecca now. At a scan. My counsellor told me to write in here whenever I’m feeling down about it. I’m not upset anymore, she’s a constant reminder of what they did and it’s weighing me down, every time we see her, it’s right in my face.
I want him to understand that I’m okay with him having this baby. Sort of. I want to help him through this so we can face parenthood together. I love him, so I’ll love whatever is his.
Seb felt tears start to form in his eyes. He knew about their time apart before he was born. He knew what happened between his mum and his dad, what happened to Lawrence and Chrissie.
Seeing written evidence from that time made it real, made him realise how much his parents loved eachother, even when they didn’t communicate it properly.
As he turned over a few more pages, a printed photo fell out of the book.
It was the photo of them at Liv’s university graduation day. Her with the hat and the scroll, Aaron and Robert with their arms around her shoulders, and then himself. He was stood in a small suit, at seven years old, a big smile plastered on his face as he stood with his family.
He turned the photo around to see writing on the back.
Talk to her. We wouldn’t have gotten this far if we hadn’t.
Dad x
-
He waited on the bench outside the front door of the mill. He had the diary in his hands, resting on top of his bouncing knee.
He’d called Emily, he told her that they needed to talk and that they should meet here. He had also read some more of the diary. Parts where Aaron would write down all these feelings, but he never said them out loud, leading him to bottle things up and just make everything worse.
The crunch of gravel made him turn his head, his knee stopped bouncing.
“Hey.” Emily said gently, holding her hands together in front of her.
“Hey.” Seb returned quietly, pointing down to the space on the bench next to him.
-
Robert was making lasagne, banning Aaron from getting in the way of him in the kitchen, so Aaron was sat on the sofa. His knee was also bouncing nervously, knowing what Seb was doing outside – hoping that it would all work out.
“I can hear your heartbeat from here, Aaron.” Robert said, facing towards the countertop where he was placing the lasagne sheets into the dish.
“What if it goes wrong?” Aaron admitted, turning to face the kitchen, “What if he ends up getting his heart broken again?”
Robert turned to face him, “Then we’ll help him through it. Be here for him when he needs it. That’s all we can do.”
Aaron smiled and nodded but still felt anxious as he nervously bit at his nails.
The door opened as they were about to sit down to eat. Robert shot a glance at Aaron who looked back him nervously, dropping his fork.
“Hey, Seb.” He called as the boy walked in, “Yours is still in the dish if you want it.”
He had a massive smile on his face, sending relief through them both.
“Yeah I just need to go to the loo.” Seb answered him, but quickly swiped a piece of garlic bread off the table in front of them. He pulled the photo out from behind him, keeping the diary hidden. He slid it across the table towards Aaron.
“Thanks, Dad.” He said quietly and Aaron nodded, reaching out to take the photo. He slid it off the table and stood up, connecting it to the fridge using a magnet. “We talked, and she told me she loved me too. I surprised her when i said it earlier, then I ran off so…” he laughed and ran a hand through his hair.
Aaron smiled and looked at Robert knowingly, who narrowed his eyes. “Well I’m glad you made up.” He told him with a smile.
“Me too.” Seb answered as he walked backwards to the stairs, holding the diary behind him. As he slowly walked up the stairs, he turned around and made eye contact with Aaron who smiled and winked, before turning his attention back to his dinner.
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Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 43
Spoilers, obv.
Issue 44 comes out tomorrow at the time of writing. As I’m on the west coast of the USA, it will be just after midnight GMT by the time they’re online. So abstractly, this is the first time ever which we come out when the next issue is out. Abstractly. I’d say the day counts as where I am, and doesn’t Comixology come out a little later? We’ll see.
It’s also been so long that I almost wrote notes for issue 44. This is a weird goodbye, this period.
Anyway – Issue 43, wherein we finish explaining all the big stuff we’re going to explain.
I mean, there’s more in issue 44 and 45, but it’s all details, with the denouncement really being based around the characters’ response to this issue. They know the truth. Now what are they going to do about it?
That was the main note I gave in the script to the team – if there’s any really big questions you are confused about, now is the time to say, as this is the best clarification it’ll get. As such, we worked on it a lot to nail what we wanted to say – and what we didn’t. Sometimes this meant actually simplifying a little to avoid repeating huge amounts of stuff and leaving people even more confused. More often it involves sliding in a little nod to something someone would be thinking about.
It’s an interesting issue, I think. It’s where we show a lot of our hand.
It also involved a lot of crunching.
Jamie/Matt Cover
Cassandra finally gets her head cover. Normally a cover relates to a key beat, which isn’t true here – except in the widest possible sense that it’s where Cassandra gets to say I Told You So to everyone, including herself.
Jason Latour Cover
One of the fun things about commissioning these covers is getting to see a creator’s process close up. Jason’s process on this was amazingly never-ending – he was always tweaking, and trying things and moving in a different direction. Where he ended was stunning – very him, and very WicDiv too. I remember us and the Jasons semi-jokingly about swapping books for an issue – they do WicDiv for an issue and we do Southern Bastards. This cover absolutely makes me wonder how amazing that hypothetical issue would have looked.
(Our story would have been about a Taylor-Swift-esque-singer/songwriter-before-she-got-big in the town. And probably murder, as it’s Southern Bastards, right?)
IFC
That “Life goes on” still creeps me out.
1-2
Opening vignette that lets us establish what Minerva’s plan is now, as well as re-establish Beth and her crew, and actually let us define their current position, and even give their codenames, which have existed in the Bible document since issue 1, I believe.
(Oddly, calling people “Boss” is one of my verbal ticks. It seemed fun to give it to Beth here.)
As such, Minerva immediately HiveMinding them when they’ve just stated their agency is plain harsh. Jamie’s large panel on page 2 sells it incredibly well – the statues, Minerva walking away from us – it’s all so casual.
It’s also the running theme of the issue – what Mini has been doing all these years. This is just a particularly direct example of it.
Three panels on second page to try and stress the seriousness of what this is (Space = Meaning, remember). Of course, as the issue shows, this isn’t the real part of the issue – but you have to at least believe this is a real gambit. And it is – I mean, it’d be awful if Mini pulled it off. But in people’s guts they’d realise this isn’t how WicDiv goes, right?
Minor glorious Matt Wilson note – the crackle of green in panel 3 is wonderful. Give that guy another Eisner. He deserves a hat trick.
3
Show time in the showbiz and the “time to show you everything” sense.
4
Establishing the stakes and situation for the heroes. There’s a draft of the issue I wrote which is a couple more pages long, which would have pulled this out a little more. In the end, we decided it worked better shorter – I’ll tell you why when I get there, and we could use the space elsewhere.
Key thing is showing some response to Cam’s actions at the end of last issue – it’s important to know that they haven’t just walked away, right?
In the first panel, the “identify who is speaking” is a tricky one. The “say the character’s name” is a little brutal move, and I avoid it. We’re not that book. Dio is easy – and Lucifer, bless her, is immediately identifiable by her idiom. Her line also reminds people of what she’s like, which sets up the last page.
Laura’s captions here again, doing a lot of the heavy lifting.
It says so much about this issue that the last two panels are only a half page total. These are big rock and roll images, presented in a tiny space. Jamie’s composition makes it land really well, selling the drama.
Page 5
It says even more that we did all this in a page.
Tara’s move in the original version was basically a page, but looking at it structurally it actually left it even more underwhelmed – a fight kicked off, and then heroes were losing, and then Tara does this cool thing, and they’re winning, before immediately the hive mind kicks in and they’re losing again. This does not sell the joy of Giant Woman.
This works better, not least for sheer audaciousness. I used to have a thing about tableau based storytelling – the idea that you can create a large image which people can explore and juxtapose it with a few captions to create a larger conceptual space. This is very much that.
“People treating people like meat” reminds me for the second time when re-reading this issue of the line from Pratchett: “Sin is treating people like things.” The first time was the puppets bit. I’d agree with Pratchett, clearly.
In the original draft of the script I had a line “You want more? Go re-read Rising Action” which is a bit too cute, so I lost it. It’s not really the sort of thing WicDiv does, anyway.
Yes, Giant Woman is a Steven Universe nod. Putting aside that image of Giant Tara kicking ass which has been in my head forever, there’s so much to love in the image – to pick a small part, how about the Norns blasting in triplicate? We rarely see them act like this.
You can also trace via the colouring which of Beth’s crew have duplicated which God’s powers.
Page 6
There’s been a lot about people copying people’s powers in WicDiv, and trying to find out what someone can and can’t do, and then using it against them. This switches it up. The thing about being creative instead of a straight plagiarist that creative people make up new shit. That’s kind of the point of them.
Once more, Matt showing the dance of the colouring between the Woden green (haunting the series like a ghost now) and the joy of Dio is (er) a joy.
Page 7
Another Matt moment – we step out of the club, and we drop to greys, before building the energy up.
I’m not quite sure how long Robin has wanted to punch Beth for. Or how long I planned to do it, even. I can imagine Robin thinking of this a lot though – she’s the one who takes a long time to snap.
There’s a dual structure here too – there’s two main compare-and-contrast bands in WicDiv. Beth’s and Cass’…
Page 8
And this is a very different kind of band break up.
The problem here is different – I want to give much more space. First draft it seemed that they got talked into it really easily. But it’s all the space we had so what to do? Once more, captions. Silent panel with captions can be timeless, and gives room for our minds to populate it. It’s been so long I can no longer remember if the fact the two almost-silent characters are shouting, but we’re not allowed to hear, because it’s private seems relevant.
Page 9-10
Hard cut made easier with the caption. Captions are great. Trust captions.
The shot of Mini at the edge, just looking back with space either side is great. Just the isolation of it.
The “try to sing” on the page turn seems a meaningful reveal. Can she?
No she can’t. This is another very old beat in the founding documents – it’s hinted at on page 9. Mini says that she gave it up – and she said the same in issue 9. I’m not sure I believe her. When planning it I realised that some people would take it as a comment on Work for hire – don’t get stuck keeping a story alive forever, as it will eventually atrophy your talent. It wasn’t planned, but I’d be fine with it as a reading. When Chrissy read it, she took it as “Don’t get stuck in art management.” which works too. Readings are fun.
Anyway – a performance. That the big thing in the issue is a performance rather than a fight is very much WicDiv turning towards its core concept as we head towards the final straight. Of course we’d do this.
Yeah, Matt and Jamie, killing it on the final panel of the second page – the Persephone-esque tentacles made something else, because she is something else now. The numinous expression of Minerva. Amazing.
Page 11
The borders in this sequence harking back to the Persephone performance in issue 18.
I may actually try to tweak this sequence in the trade and have a different execution of “When I was 14” and all the rest, to work a little more like a LOC CAP rather than a speech. We couldn’t make it work given the time before deadline. That’s the odd thing about our extended issues – just because it’s taking longer doesn’t mean we have more time to do tasks, right? Some things are only possible when the whole thing is together. It works, I think, but part of me wants to push it harder.
Anyway – these two. I loved writing them though. I said it back in the other flashbacks, but how the two of them dance is a delight. Hell, doing them across a lifetime is a delight.
Okay – I’m going to give you a name for Ananke’s sister. It’s the one I used in my notes. It’s no more her name than “Ananke” is really Ananke’s.
It’s Demeter. Ask me about it another time.
Page 12
The “god” in panel 2 is a Proto Norn.
This primal gathering brings to mind issue 9 as well.
Demeter’s expression in the penultimate panel? Love it.
Page 13
The captions are Laura’s style, but changed colouring. That Laura is helping Minerva performs means it comes across in her voice, was our thinking.
Captions are once more useful though – trying to get something that is evocative, but also clear was the battle.
(The Colours here!)
She-in-Thirds is a name-behind-the-name. The Maiden/Mother/Child archetype – the one which Ananke subverted in a few pages time.
Page 14
I find myself thinking whether the return to a close-to-eight panel for much of this is meaningful. This is kind of Bronze Age Phonogram.
Reading this I wish I had capitalised The Rebel – it’s another archetype. Proto-Lucifer. I’ll tweak for the trade.
I forget when the metaphor for a song for the “godhood” in WicDiv came to me, but it feels like the right one. It’s how songs often feel to me.
Page 15
If you go back to issue 34, you’ll see some of the details of this plan are different to the plan that Ananke has put into play there. In fact, the deal that she strikes in issue 34 is akin to what she wants here. It’s mainly for clarity – the reader needs to be reminded of what’s actually going on, as they won’t necessarily remember the details from way back then. I figure this is the plan she wanted to do, then found something else when Demeter wasn’t into it, before swooping around to something closer.
Page 16
“After all my friends were dead” gives a little flex in the timeline.
I do like Ananke’s hat.
“The Great River” being the Nile, and the pantheon we saw back in issue 36.
In terms of lists of things in this issue I was looking forward to write, the first meeting between Ananke and Minerva was certainly one of them. I tried to get something of the oddness here. Jamie and Matt manage to get the mood of issue 34 again too – I really do like this bronze-age western vibe. There’s a project I keep on thinking about doing, and it has some of that too it. Hmm.
Yes, page width panel of character delivering a line remains a key WicDiv tool. There’s so much I love here – the touch from Ananke, whose PoV we’re in. Minerva speaking to herself, speaking to us, etc.
That the knife is just sentimental is a minor beat I’m very fond of.
Page 17
Once more, Captions, as Laura makes sure we all Get It.
One of the debates in WicDiv fandom has always been whether the gods are picked by Ananke (i.e. Anyone could be a god) or whether they’re actually people with a gifts. Of course, the answer is that it’s both.
The thing I least like about WicDiv’s mythology is that the 12 people are people with this gift, for obvious “Ugh Chosen Ones” reasons. There’s some things that mitigate that a little, I hope, and not least that it’s clearly transferable to wherever you are in life. The core of it is “if you find yourself with a gift, be careful with it and use it responsibly.” It’s a book about the power, privilege, dangers and seductions of being an artist and all that. It’s only when writing that sentence do I realise how tired I am. This has been a busy week. Excuse me if the writing is looser than usual.
Anyway, I’m probably over-worrying. If X-men is fine, we probably are too.
So – end of the page is a download of some of the explanations of stuff folk will inevitably be going “Wait – what?”
And then Tara steps up.
When you’re writing a large group scene, with limited space, there’s choices you make of who speaks and who doesn’t. Who’s going to have the strongest counter-argument to something? Who’s going to have the biggest reaction? Them. They’re the one who carries the scene.
Which is Tara. Perhaps you could make an argument for Baal, but Baal is reeling through all these issues – plus if you choose one or the other, you tie-breaker would be who hasn’t had spotlight.
Page 18-21
And the counter is equally inevitably Cassandra (who is also in the process of beating herself up). Being Cass, she puts it harshly. Clearly, this is going to get a response from Tara.. and Cass opens up herself and makes herself vulnerable. Which is a hell of a thing for her, right?
I’ll stop this – I’m just walking through the emotional flow, but I love these two women here.
Which segues into the last formalist style thing of the issue. Once again, we have a space = meaning problem. This is clearly the most important sequence of the issue, but we have so few pages. We turn to one of the core WicDiv moves of black panels in a six panel grid, and loading them up with text. Suddenly we have a sense of ritual, a lot of dialogue produced in a stylistic way and most of all a whole extra page (hence an extra page of weight).
It’s also a complete showcase for Matt. The last godly panel of them is them at their most Godly, this final little iconic burst. A confession, and it’s gone.
I cried when I got the colours for this. I forget which one it was – there’s just some wonderful Jamie expressions in there as well.
Choosing the confessions was definitely tricky. We have space, but too much is too much. Some of them I kept simple, and others needed a little space to explain. The ordering was also one of those processes where you feel out the character, and think how they’d speak. Dio would clearly jump in, then Inanna, then Mimir trying to just piece it together, and all leading to Baal.
I did try and write a Baal caption, but any words were just too small.
And then, of course…
Page 22
You’ve probably seen me talking about year 4 as Solving The Equation. Yes, we knew lots of the key things, but there’s lots of elements of the execution were worked, and rethought and discovered. I may be able to talk a little more about this in the last issue’s notes.
This was a big one. I was chewing over the synopsis and thinking… a battle against Ananke/Minerva is a little underwhelming after everything, right? At this point in the story, Minerva is a busted flush. In reality, Laura (and Demeter) won the intellectual battle against Minerva in Mothering Invention. She’s already beat her. It nagged at me. There was something else.
Then there was the other thing – I knew that Lucifer was going to get her body back, but I wasn’t entirely sure what she’d do when she had it.
The two came together: of course, the final confrontation isn’t between Laura and Minerva. It’s with Lucifer, the person who brought Laura into the world, the person who brought us all into the world. The girl who wanted to be on stage, no matter the cost. That’s the final battle.
And best of all, I had no idea what would happen.
Well – not quite, but suddenly a whole lot of things was up in the air.
Page 23
Song reference, obv. Always connected to something in my head in my early career. If I do writer notes for the playlist, I may actually tell you.
Oh – some people wondered whether all the skulls meant everyone was dead. No – it’s just there’s no god in the slot. I’m not that kind of shithead.
Anyway – issue is out tomorrow. Or maybe today, depending on where you are. It ends the story, with 45 being an epilogue with a somewhat different tone. Clearly, it’s a huge issue, so be a little careful with your tweeting. The last cover is especially a big spoiler.
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Thanks for your patience and thanks for reading.
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Chrissy Teigen Takes ‘Little Break’ After Alison Roman Attack, Makes Twitter Account Private
Chrissy Teigen Takes ‘Little Break’ After Alison Roman Attack, Makes Twitter Account Private
Rich Polk/Getty
Alison Roman
The fallout from food critic Alison Roman's brutal criticism of Chrissy Teigen and her business strategies has sparked hateful attacks from social media users on Teigen's children, prompting Teigen to announce on Sunday that she is taking "a little break."
"I really hate what this drama caused this week," Teigen wrote in a Twitter post. "To call my children Petri-Teller-Babys or to make flight commitments with my name on them on 'Epstein Island' to justify someone else's contempt for me seems to me to be gross, so I'm going to take a little break," she continued.
Teigen revealed in 2018 that she gave birth to her two children Luna and Miles simultaneously through in vitro fertilization. "They shared the same little petri dish. It's crazy," Teigen told People magazine at the time. She added that it would be "great" to understand, of course, what "never happened" to her.
Teigen, who is married to singer John Legend and has created a cooking empire bearing the name of her book Cravings, also cited a "gross" insult directed at her in reference to "Epstein Island," billionaire financier and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein's private Caribbean island.
"That's what happens," Teigen continued. "On the first day, a ton of support, then the next, 1 million reasons why you deserved it. It never fails."
Teigen did not specify what she meant by a break or what it was true for.
Shortly after the tweet was posted, however, she made her Twitter account private. It wasn't the first time the celebrity personality had suspended her accounts. "I just feel like I'm absorbing bad shit 24/7," Teigen tweeted to her followers in 2016. "My body and my mind can no longer handle it."
She did so again a year later after a Twitter user shared a conspiracy theory claiming that Teigen and her husband were linked to a pedophile ring. "I'm pretty worried here," Teigen wrote on Twitter at the time.
Roman, a food critic at The New York Times and author of the Nothing Fancy cookbook, sparked a Twitter uproar on Friday after her latest interview with The New Consumer went viral. The Koch-Maven faced backlash after she used the interview as an opportunity to publicly attack the organization expert Marie Kondo at home and criticize Teigen's Cravings website as a "content farm" that "horrifies" her.
"Like what Chrissy Teigen did, it's so crazy for me," Roman, 34, said in the interview. "She had a successful cookbook. And then it was like: Boom, line at Target. Boom, now she has an Instagram page that has over a million followers where it's just like people who have a content farm for her. It horrifies me and it's not something I ever want to do. I am not aiming for that. But how, who's laughing now? Because she makes a ton (expletive) money."
I wanted something for myself. I wanted something John didn't buy, I wanted something to do that calmed me, made me happy and made others happy, too”
Teigen responded to Roman's words on Twitter by saying, "This is a huge bumper and hit me hard," adding, "I started cravings because I wanted something for me. I wanted something that John didn't buy, I wanted to do something that calmed me down, made me happy, and made others happy. Longings are not 'machine' or 'farmed content' – it's me and 2 other women."
Roman first doubled down on her comments in the interview and said unapologetically: "If women bully other women because they are honest about money and how much they do or don't do, well, that's even more."
Roman later tried to "clarify" what she said: "I don't come for someone who is successful, especially not for women." She finally publicly apologized to Teigen, calling her comments "flippant" and "careless."
In a statement, Cherry Bombe magazine, which celebrates women in the food industry, said: "Women who call other women a sellout for their hard-earned achievements are unacceptable. White women who call women of color sales and for their hard-earned achievements are not acceptable.
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'Younger's Best Author Parodies, From Quinn Tyler To Edward L.L. Moore
New York media has been the backdrop for what feels like millions of TV shows about women chasing their dreams. But so few get it right. (I’ll never forget the series in which a magazine editor berates a writer, “You didn’t even leave space in this story for ads!” Which, for the uninitiated, is something an editor would never be concerned with.) But despite Younger’s outlandish premise — a rom-com about a 40-year-old woman passing for 26 — it’s become perhaps the most authentic show ever about the world of book publishing. Through seven seasons, it’s delivered plots that lived and died by the peculiar inner workings of publishing — and managed to make dishy twists out of inside-baseball stuff like bulk sales and imprint/parent company dynamics. Don’t tell anyone who worked on my own novel, but the jargon I tossed off in conversation? Hilary Duff taught me all of it.
The best part of Younger’s evolution into an industry love letter is its prescient author characters, who always feel ripped from the splashiest book world conversations. See: this season’s Greta Thunberg dupe, played to yellow-slickered perfection by Nadia Alexander. “She has our favorite name from Season 7,” writer and executive producer Dottie Zicklin tells Bustle. “Füpa Grünhoff. Her name wouldn’t clear [with the show’s lawyers] until the umlauts were added!”
Füpa is just the latest in the show’s list of standout faux scribes, whose spot-on plotlines were in part the work of the show’s anonymous publishing consultant, who helped guide the staff on the industry’s trends and conversations. We still can’t reveal his or her identity, but we did get to talk to the consultant — along with Younger creator Darren Star, Dottie Zicklin, and fellow executive producer and writer Eric Zicklin — to get the stories behind how the show’s most iconic fake authors came to life.
Season 1: Jane Krakowski as Annabelle Bancroft
Bancroft, played with nightmare-diva energy by the 30 Rock star, was based on Sex and the City author Candace Bushnell. Star famously made the series based on that book, so an homage to Bushnell — in the form of Bancroft’s iconic scenester who spends her book launch party smoking indoors and fixating on the size of the crowd — felt like a safe place to start testing author parodies. “I thought Jane was hilarious playing [a version] of my friend Candace,” Star says. “She really made me laugh.” Writer and executive producer Eric Zicklin adds: “We loved her double-bounce off the glass door most of all.” (Bancroft runs into the door while chasing her coke dealer. Twice.)
Season 2: Kobi Libii as Rob Olive
This caricature of John Green — complete with a soulful leather necklace — hit just as I realized I was reading books about dying teen lovers almost exclusively. Libii is perfectly troubled and self-serious as the bestseller workshopping a Fault in Our Stars-style YA romance with Hilary Duff’s Kelsey at lunch. (Ever the brilliant brainstormer, it’s Kelsey who comes up with the idea for a hospice prom.) “We learned the term ‘sick lit,’ and the genre seemed natural for Millennial Press’ readers,” Dottie Zicklin says. “Trying to say John Green” — aka the author of Fault — “without using the words ‘John’ or ‘Green’ led to a great name.” Long live Rob Olive.
Season 2: Justine Lupe as Jade Winslow
With Lupe’s flaky influencer character, Younger dipped into the hazards of traditional publishing chasing Instagram sensations — Winslow gets a huge memoir advance, then fails to deliver a single page of work. (Liza has to cobble together a draft from the girl’s Instagram captions.) “The younger Younger writers brought up Cat Marnell as inspiration,” Eric Zicklin says. Marnell, a former beauty editor and socialite, wrote the smash 2017 memoir How to Murder Your Lifeabout her drug addiction and magazine-world adventures. “That story led Kelsey and Liza into learning about the balance between hype and substance.”
Season 2: Richard Masur as Edward L.L. Moore
Between his aggressive rascalling around the office and his misogyny, the show’s George R.R. Martin homage became its best work in terms of authentic publishing tension holding up plotlines. Martin’s Crown of Kings fantasy series is key to Empirical staying afloat, so he gets away with — well, not murder, but making Liza wear a fur bikini in Times Square might actually be worse? It takes Empirical far too long to do the right thing and drop the author. (Right around the time Moore debuted on the show, publishing was scrambling to reckon with its own legacy of harassment.) And when they do, Moore strikes back, outing Liza as the 40-something she is. The writers didn’t know when they started writing the character’s arc that he would unpin the show’s central secret. “We had no idea how instrumental he would become in exposing Liza,” Star says. “But Richard Masur was so hilarious that I wanted to bring him back and back and back.”
Season 3: Jay Wilkison as Colin McNichol
Remember the guy who asked Kelsey at the end of their first date to take a look at his novel? Or did you try to forget you ever heard the chilling invitation, “Come on in, I’ll print you out a copy”? Ah, the perils of being a single girl presiding over New York’s hottest imprint. Kelsey actually dates Colin for a while anyway — his 600-page epic turns out to be good, by her measure — but it doesn’t stop the character from feeling It-Boy insufferable all the way through his arc. (Which includes Netflix jumping on the option for his book, naturally.) As for the trend that inspired Colin? The big-money debut epic that seemed to dominate publishing years ago — see books that scored massive paydays like The Art of Fielding or City on Fire — has subsided somewhat. But Younger’s publishing consultant says it’s never really gone. “I think there was a moment where books like that were happening more often, but it could still happen,” the consultant says. “Everyone knows attention spans are shrinking, but people still want to find that ‘It Book’ of the year.”
Season 4: Kristin Chenoweth as Marylynne Keller
Younger’s first episode in the post-Trump era featured Chenoweth as a Kellyanne Conway sendup who declares the world post-facts and claims that “Truth is a four-letter word.” (When Charles corrects her math, saying truth has five letters, she purrs: “Not the way I spell it.”) One trillion bonus points to costume design for the jacket that mirrors Conway’s inauguration outfit. “Not to say the show was ahead of the culture,” Dottie Zicklin jokes, “but when the national conversation became about Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer cajoling the truth, we felt like we were already on that topic. Liza was living it from episode one.”
Season 5: Gina Gershon as Chrissie Hart
If you had Patti Smith’s Just Kids and Chrissie Hynde’s Reckless on your rockstar memoir shelf, you were so ready for this plotline starring Gershon in heavy bangs and week-old eyeliner. She plays Chrissie Hart, a famous singer whose memoir Charles and Liza chase to Shelter Island. (Obviously, Chrissie Hart doesn’t email drafts, because the internet is suspect.) The head of a major publisher personally retrieving a manuscript, messenger-style? Zany but plausible, the show’s consultant confirms. “If anyone’s ever worked on celebrity books, they are their own beasts — totally fun and awful and amazing,” the consultant says. “You know what you’re in for, and yet we can’t help ourselves because they sell and they’re glamorous to work on.”
Season 6: Willa Fitzgerald as Audrey Colbert
Fitzgerald, um, kills it in this tribute to wink-wink-did-I-murder-someone-or-not books. Her character goes around shopping a memoir meant to refute her villain status on a Serial-like podcast; she’s chaperoned by Michael Urie’s Redmond. (The only lit agent in New York, according to Younger, but would I want Urie sharing screen time? I would not.) Fitzgerald’s dead-eyed smize is what gives this character her hall of fame status. As Dottie Zicklin says, “Willa was able to give that staredown that says ‘beware’ and ‘I might have sex with you right now.’” Eventually, though, a press outcry kills the project — totally realistic, according to the show’s consultant. “If you are dealing with someone who the public believes to be guilty, or unworthy of a book deal, that can bring a major backlash,” the consultant says. “See Jonathan Mattingly or Josh Hawley — and, years ago, O.J. Simpson.” Yeah, remember If I Did It? Unlike Beaufort Books, the shop behind that one, Empirical eventually declined to publish Colbert’s book.
Season 6-7: Laura Benanti as Quinn Tyler
Quinn is the one Younger author who’s transcended cameo status. Once a Sheryl Sandberg parody in a wiggle dress, she’s become a prolonged meditation on the subject of women doing it all. “To us, the key to Quinn was understanding that she’s just as smart and successful and impulsive, and just as tone-deaf, as any male billionaire,” Eric Zicklin says. This season, Quinn becomes much more than a villain with an endless font of ice-queen comebacks — proof that Younger is well versed in publishing’s golden rule: Never judge a book by its cover.
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I watched SSW again, and I have to say that your theory seems very believable. I think all four couples struggle with trust. Pierce doesn't trust Rhona, Emma doesn't trust James, Aaron doesn't trust Robert. Laurel can't trust Ashley because of his condition. All, but especially the first 3, struggle with trusting their partners in regards to their exes (jealousy). Laurel is hurt when Ashley calls her Harriet, so maybe even she is worried about the ex. 1/2
2/2 But what worries me is that children play an important part in all the sls. James and Moira have Adam because James cheated on Emma. Rhona spends time with Paddy because of Leo and Pierce was mad about that Paddy and not him got to see Leo’s play. So maybe Robert will have a child with his ex? Dotty was an important part of Ashley’s dementia sl. Laurel thought about abortion but didn’t go through with it. Dotty’s birth and christening coincided with the deteriotating of Ashley’s condition.
Anon, I love the fact that you rewatched SSW and thought of the theories! But I feel like there’s so many different strands to the SSW Theory now, it could probably fill an entire dissertation at this stage haha, because there’s just so many different ways to read all of this!? But the one thing which is unquestionably clear throughout, is that there are overlapping and recurring themes throughout each storyline, as you’ve so rightly pointed out. And because I’m stuck in theory realm, for me this is absolutely intentional.
I would actually extend these themes beyond just the four couples at the heart of SSW, and include Vic/Adam and Marlon/Carly in most of them, both of whom were at the edge of the storylines involved that week… So personally I’d take these themes as:
Trust / Communication / Honesty / Insecurity / Jealousy / Infidelity / Exes / Unrequited Love / New Starts / Commitment
I feel like I’m missing some, but I’ll go with these for now haha. So breaking them down per couple, we get:
Emma/James;
These two were engaged to be married, and were just moving into their new farm at Wylie’s. This was their new start. But, as with all these couples, they had an obstacle…
James previously had an affair with Moira, which resulted in the very permanent reminder of Adam. This has fed Emma’s insecurities for a long time, and fuelled her jealousy of both Moira and Adam (being included in James’s will, as an equal to her three sons). But James was also insecure and jealous - because he loved Moira, but she didn’t feel the same. Moira loved John, and now Cain. James was never a choice for Moira… So we have a woman cheating on her husband with his brother, getting pregnant, and rejecting that brother again in later years when she’s married to the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with… So I can’t help but make the connection - Moira = Robert, James = Rebecca, John = Chrissie, Cain = Aaron. (Although this would make Ross Emma, and I want Rebecca to have a showdown with Lachlan, not Ross. Haha.) But James didn’t do what Robert did, he didn’t tell Emma about his kiss with Moira. She overheard him discussing it with her own son. And then some pretty dramatic stuff happened and SSW was born… (Actually I’m going to get to the dramatic stuff in a bit because your message has prompted me to rewatch a specific scene - Emma pushing James - and the whole of that dialogue between them sums up what I think is the connection between all of these couples. It’s all right there in that pivotal moment and I’ve somehow only now made that connection…)
Pierce/Rhona;
Now we’ve seen towards the end of the SSW cycle, these two got engaged and later married of course. But let’s go back to the beginning of their relationship and this cycle…
Rhona and Pierce’s relationship began as a result of Paddy and Tess’s affair. Those are pretty rocky foundations, so both characters already had individual issues with each of the themes I listed above and they each brought these into their relationship. Pierce was already insecure, jealous and possessive, even regarding someone like Cain who Rhona had no history with. But there was always the Paddy thing… Not a massive issue at the surface of their relationship - until Paddy returned to the village… (Other recurring themes among most of these couples are exes returning to their lives and their refusal to acknowledge a problem until they have a permanent reminder in their face 24/7… A bit like Rebecca and her baby…) And when he did, it was a constant reminder and threat to Pierce - not only of Rhona’s history with Paddy, or his relationship with Leo and all of their friends, but also because Paddy effectively “stole” Tess from Pierce.
Now, although Rhona appeared to have moved on, she and Paddy still were a part of each other’s lives through Leo. And to make matters more complicated, Paddy was still in love with Rhona. That is what a large part of their SSW story was about. And what we saw between Paddy and Rhona was the two of them communicating about their relationship, unlike Rhona and Pierce who didn’t confront their issues until they bubbled over the surface and resulted in that big row which instigated their involvement in SSW.
So Paddy loved Rhona, Rhona loved Pierce… Emma loved James, James loved Moira…
Ashley/Laurel;
These two remarried just a few months before SSW. They then moved back into their old home at Mulberry. But how did any of this come about? Ashley’s diagnosis was the catalyst. Shortly after he found out he was ill, Ashley and Harriet split up. Now I’m not sure how well I remember this, but as far as I’m aware, it was quite an abrupt end to their relationship? They didn’t just drift apart? (Although I do recall there was a very brief allusion to Harriet/Bob which never went anywhere…) So in this instance, Laurel was the ex returning to Ashley’s life. But then we have Ashley’s Dementia getting worse, him thinking he’s still with Harriet, Laurel turning to Marlon - her ex - for support, and Ashley thinking she is cheating on him. Then in the care home we don’t have the issue of an ex, but there is the obstacle of Maggie (I think?) who Ashley grew attached to. Laurel became jealous and insecure, and consequently made a pass at Marlon. Because at that time, Ashley could no longer remember her or the fact that he loved her. Effectively, when she saw him with Maggie (?), Laurel’s love may almost have felt unrequited in that moment. Like Paddy’s or James’s…
And then there’s the communication/trust issues, again a result of Ashley’s Dementia. Because Ashley’s deteriorating cognitive ability affected his being able to effectively communicate with Laurel and she with him. And as you say, Laurel couldn’t really trust Ashley because of his illness, but likewise, as much as he needed and was expected to, Ashley couldn’t really trust anyone because of his illness. Including himself…
Robert/Aaron;
So obviously the boys got engaged during SSW because they have impeccable timing, then bought their first home together a couple of months later and got married a couple of months after that. But their SSW cycle had already begun the week before with Rebecca’s arrival providing them with their obstacle…
We have the returning ex whose love is unrequited, we’ve seen the jealousy / insecurity / infidelity. What their cycle is focusing on now is the communication / trust / honesty issues. We saw them start to tackle this during the reveal, but we can clearly see they’re still not there yet. That’s what this pregnancy plot will bring about…
Vic/Adam;
Their whole connection to the SSW Theory is wrapped up in the Vadam baby plot. Starting a family was their new start after James and Holly had died. But the trust and communication issues initially came in because Adam wasn’t on the same page as Vic at first but struggled to be honest about it. We then saw them get back on track, only for Adam to find out he couldn’t have children. This then brought about the cycle of insecurity / infidelity / jealousy because Adam’s insecurities over this lead him to finish with Vic and make a move on his ex, Vanessa…
Marlon/Carly;
We saw Carly move in with Marlon, and him think about marrying her. But Marlon was insecure right from the start of their relationship. This prompted a lot of jealousy / trust / communication / honesty issues throughout, until it all came to a head with the arrival of Carly’s ex, Matt… Who Carly kissed (while Marlon was being rejected by Laurel) and eventually left with… Marlon was the victim of the unrequited love here… Or at least, a different love.
But you see the parallels between Carly/Marlon/Matt, and Robert/Aaron/Rebecca? Carly reached out to Matt, the same way Robert invited Rebecca to the village… Matt still had feelings for Carly and wouldn’t give up on the idea of them, just like Rebecca with Robert… The difference? Carly asked Matt to leave because she didn’t trust herself, because she reciprocated his feelings. Robert never asked Rebecca to leave (in fact he even asked her to stay) because he did trust himself, because her feelings were never reciprocated…
So where does the theme of children fit into this? Again, I think it can be interpreted in so many ways. I first wrote about this pattern in this post, where I discussed the cycle of characters cheating with their exes and that they’ve all shared a tie of children apart from Vic and Ross - although I’d just like to note that Ross making a pass at Vic occurred shortly after she commented on him being a good dad to Moses (just like Rebecca did after The Incident) and seeing him in another light… I 100% believe it’s highly probable that Rebecca is pregnant with Ross’s child and Vadam will be the ones to bring it up, and this would bring it all full circle from that initial scene…
But for me, the connection of children comes down to the fact that it has been a child who has instigated some of the most significant moments in these SSW cycles. Ultimately, the children are the catalysts:
Marlon/Carly - Billy. Carly confiding in Marlon about Billy brought them closer together. The choking incident occurred with April, which prompted Carly to leave and confront her grief over Billy. This then prompted her to get in touch with Billy’s dad, Matt…
Vic/Adam - They don’t have a child. There are no children involved in their storyline - yet - and that is their connection in this theme…
Ashley/Laurel - Dotty. Ashley told Arthur he may forget him one day, and later that SSW day, he forgot Dotty. This was the first time he’d forgotten a member of his family…
Pierce/Rhona - Leo. As you say, Paddy attending Leo’s play with Rhona instigated their involvement in SSW. Paddy giving Rhona the necklace on behalf of Leo on her wedding day was also a pivotal moment in their cycle…
Emma/James - Adam. Because of the tie to Moira. Arthur. Arthur is going to find out Emma’s secret and be the catalyst for it coming out. But there’s also Holly, which I’ll get to in a bit…
Robert/Aaron - Again, there’s multiple children. Lachlan. He brought about Robron’s involvement in SSW. Liv. She told Robert Aaron’s secret and effectively instigated the row which saw the boys break up while Aaron was in prison. Or Rebecca’s baby. A catalyst to them confronting their issues - because this is the one time they cannot escape or just ignore the problem - with communication and honesty, and eventually having a child of their own…
But there’s still the Holly connection that I just can’t let go of…
Holly died just a couple of weeks before SSW (although it was originally planned to happen that week I believe)… Rebecca first met Aaron (and Vic) during those scenes which foreshadowed this entire storyline at Holly’s wake… It was Holly’s funeral that James was so desperate to leave Wylie’s for, which prompted Emma to prevent him leaving at all… It was Holly’s death Rebecca discussed with Adam (and Vanessa) on the day of The Incident… And what happened, what did we see in the episode where Moira discovered Holly had died?
We saw every single parent in that village, reaching out to their child, grateful that they weren’t in Moira’s position but terrified of the prospect that one day they could be. So it seems to me like the possible child connection could be the loss of, in some way…
Marlon/Carly - Carly lost Billy. But she also lost April in the way she left, and Marlon briefly felt like he was losing his daughter, too.
Vic/Adam - Vadam lost the dream of having their own biological children together.
Ashley/Laurel - Ashley lost the ability to remember each of his children. Sandy had to watch his own son die before him. Laurel’s now lost Gabby to her extended family and life on the other side of the world.
Pierce/Rhona - As far as I recall, Tess said she never had children because Pierce never wanted them. But now we have Rhona effectively losing Leo, however long it may last, because Marlon and Paddy are refusing to let her spend time with him.
Emma/James - James specifically said to Emma on that bridge that she will “lose the boys” when they find out what she’s done. They’re about to find out…
Robert/Aaron - The only children Robron can lose are either Liv, or the baby. And I’m completely convinced that is where this is going; for the boys, Robert in particular, to grow attached to this baby and then have it snatched away from them…
But I mentioned the scene between Emma and James on the bridge, right before she pushes him… I have to say, this message got my SSW Theory senses buzzing again so I decided to rewatch that scene (I’ve actually avoided rewatching SSW during all of this because I’m honestly trying not to get too carried away with the theorising haha) specifically because I knew there was a reference to Holly. But when I rewatched it, I had a sudden realisation that I’ve missed the most overwhelming theme connecting all of these storylines all along - Loss.
If you rewatch that scene and listen to the dialogue between James and Emma, almost all of it can be applied to each of the four main SSW couples;
“I can’t. […] It’s too late. If I stop now, I lose everything…” (Emma) “Yes, you lose. You lost me. God knows when they hear about this, you’ll lose the boys…” (James)
“You can’t only live your life for a man you don’t love… No, you’re obsessed. You’re sick. This isn’t love… ‘Cause if you really loved me, you would walk away right now, from all of us… […] You lived without us for years. You moved on. You got over it.” (James) “I can’t do that ever again.” (Emma) “Yes, you can. And you will. Because that’s what people do. You lose someone over a mistake you made or something horrible happens…” (James) “Oh, you mean like Holly? And John?” (Emma)
“All you’ve ever done is use her to hurt me… To destroy my life… Our life… You did this, not me. This is all because of you.” (Emma)
Then we have Aaron, “You had Chrissie and you came looking for me…”
Rhona, “He came looking for me because he cares…” “[…] folk who can’t let their exes go…” (Rhona)
Robert, “I’ve chosen, all right!”
Rhona, “We can’t lose him!” “No, we won’t… I’ve lost enough today…” (Paddy)
Emma, “You still love me? There’s still hope. I know there is because deep down you still love me…” […] “Even now, there is a part of me that still loves you…” (James) *Emma goes to kiss James, who pulls away* “You’re lying.” (Emma)
You see how it wasn’t just the characters’ physical logistics that culminated together in time for the crash? Every single one of the overlapping themes from each of these storylines converged in this moment. But the one which was most paramount of all? Loss.
Because ultimately, anon, every single one of these characters is terrified of losing the people they love.
So much of that dialogue can be transferred to each of the SSW cycles, but if we look at it from a Robron perspective, we can absolutely read James and Emma’s lines as Robert and Rebecca respectively. Whether there’s any basis to this or not, it fits. So thank you, anon, for encouraging me to rewatch this scene haha.
And I think this is probably one of the longest posts I’ve written about this yet, I’m so sorry haha! But I appreciate you joining me in the SSW Theory feels! :) May it continue to rise ever stronger…
#sorry it's taken so long for me to be able to reply to you anon#and that this got so much longer than I'd anticipated haha#I hope it makes some semblance of sense at least#SSW Theory#the realms of neverending theories and overanalysis
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1. Ride-or-die chick - Wikipedia https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ride-or-die_chick Mobile · Like the gangster bitch, the ride-or-diechick comes from a violent, impoverished, ... I Do (Young Jeezy song) by Young Jeezy feat. Jay-Z … Classification as a ...Use in hip-hop musicUse in hip hop discourse 2. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ride-or-die_chick 3. http://www.justjared.com/2018/04/29/elsa-patakys-response-to-this-video-tribute-to-chris-hemsworths-body-is-perfect/ 4. https://m.timesofindia.com/entertainment/english/hollywood/news/elsa-pataky-on-marriage-with-chris-hemsworth-dont-know-how-we-survived/articleshow/63984739.cms 5. Don't know how we survived - Times of India said the fact that she and have ''survived'' as a couple amazes her. The 41-year-old model, who tied the knot with the star in December 2010 and had their daughter India in May 2012 followed by four-year-old twins and , believes they are together because they are not afraid to ''work'' at their relationship. 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Elsa Pataky’s Response to This Video Tribute to Chris Hemsworth’s Body Is Perfect | Chris Hemsworth, Ellen DeGeneres, Elsa Pataky, Video Elsa Pataky’s Response to This Video Tribute to Chris Hemsworth’s Body Is Perfect Sun, 29 April 2018 at 2:07 pm Chris Hemsworth's body was put on display during his appearance on The Ellen Show earlier this week...and Elsa Pataky has something to say about it! Ellen DeGeneres posted a tribute toChris' body on her Instagram page with the caption, "@ChrisHemsworth is more than just a beautiful body. He has talent and brains, kindness, is an amazing dad, and so much more, but here’s a montage of his body." Chris' wife, Elsa, had the absolute perfect response to the video and said what we're all thinking! Check out Elsa's response, which she wrote in the comments of Ellen's post... 9. http://www.justjared.com/tags/ellen-degeneres/ 10. 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'We are not worthy': Following the awards ceremony, the actor took to Instagram to thank his fans once more for their support in helping him achieve the award 13. Ellen DeGeneres shows shirtless Chris Hemsworth picture at People's Choice Awards 2016 'What makes me happy is making other people happy': Ellen DeGeneres treats guests to a steamy shirtless picture of Chris Hemsworth at the People's Choice Awards By Jessica Aquilina For Daily Mail Australia 06:01 EDT 07 Jan 2016, updated 03:24 EDT 08 Jan 2016 Comedian and TV talk show host Ellen DeGeneres was awarded the Favourite Humanitarian Award at the People's Choice Awards in Los Angeles on Wednesday night. And in the spirit of giving, the 57-year-old treated award attendees and TV viewers to a picture 'gift' of a shirtlessChris Hemsworth who happened to be sitting alongside Ellen and her partner Portia de Rossi at the awards ceremony. 'Here's the thing, awards are great but really what makes me happy is making other people happy,' the starlet said after receiving the large award. Scroll down for video and full list of winners 'What makes me happy is making other people happy': Ellen DeGeneres treats People's Choice Award 2016 attendees to a steamy shirtless picture of Chris Hemsworth Ellen gifts fans with an image of a shiftless Chris Hemsworth Foreground---WhiteBlackRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyan---OpaqueSemi-Opaque Background---WhiteBlackRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyan---OpaqueSemi-TransparentTransparent Window---WhiteBlackRedGreenBlueYellowMagentaCyan---OpaqueSemi-TransparentTransparent Font Size50%75%100%125%150%175%200%300%400% Text Edge StyleNoneRaisedDepressedUniformDropshadow Font FamilyDefaultMonospace SerifProportional SerifMonospace Sans-SerifProportional Sans-SerifCasualScriptSmall Caps 'And tonight I want to make you happy. I bought a shirtless photo of Chris Hemsworth to share with you.' The audience then burst out in laughter after seeing a very muscular Chris dripping wet in just a pair of black board-shorts and a necklace around his neck. The Thor star had his head bowed down and his famous shaggy blonde locks pushed away from his face as he strutted down a path of unknown description in the snap. See the latest People's Choice Awards updates on Ellen Degeneres and Chris Hemsworth Back story: In her award speech, Ellen said she wanted to make people happy and that was the reason for her pursing a career as a comedian 'You're welcome': Ellen pointed out the oddity of receiving an award for displaying human kindness Laughs all round: Chris giggled at the steamy picture of himself which featured on two big screens surrounding the award stage Laughs all round: Chris giggled at the steamy picture of himself which featured on two big screens surrounding the award stage Keeping her audience happy! The audience burst out in laughter after seeing a very muscular Chris dripping wet in just a pair of black boardshorts and a necklace around his neck Even Chris giggled at the steamy picture of himself which featured on two big screens surrounding the award stage. Ellen also mentioned the reason why she became a comedian. She said: 'I started out as a comedian, and I wanted to make people laugh. 'I wanted to make people happy and feel good.' She then went on to point out the oddity of winning an award for human kindness. 'It is strange to get an award for being nice and generous and kind which is what we're all supposed to do with one another,' she said. 'That's the point of being a human.' Hugs all around: Ellen, Portia and Chris cuddled up close for a snap at the awards ceremony 'Would I call myself the Mother Theresa of talk shows? The Dalai Llama of daytime?" Ellen jokingly added. 'No. But I'm sure someone has.' Chris won Favourite Action Movie Actor for his role in Avengers: Age of Ultron. The former Home and Away star beat out fellow Marvel superheroes Robert Downey Jr and Chris Pratt for the coveted award. The father-of-three took to the stage in a black long-sleeve shirt and pants which showed of his trim and toned body. Peace out! Chris was crowned Favourite Action Movie Actor for his action packed role in Avengers: Age of Ultron He rocked an unshaven facial look while coiffing his short brunette locks in a neat style. Following the awards ceremony, the actor took to Instagram to thank his fans once more for their support in helping him achieve the award. 'Thanks to @peopleschoice for this epic glass statue and all the fans who voted, you're awesome !!' he penned underneath an image of himself waving to the crowd as he accepted his award on stage. 'We are not worthy': Following the awards ceremony, the actor took to Instagram to thank his fans once more for their support in helping him achieve the award2016 PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARDS - LIST OF WINNERS SPECIAL CATEGORIES Favorite Humanitarian Ellen DeGeneres The DailyMail.com Seriously Popular™ Award Maddie Ziegler MOVIE CATEGORIES Favorite Movie - Furious 7 Favorite Movie Actor Channing Tatum Favorite Movie Actress Sandra Bullock Favorite Action Movie Furious 7 Favorite Action Movie Actor Chris Hemsworth Favorite Action Movie Actress Shailene Woodley Favorite Animated Movie Voice Selena Gomez - Hotel Transylvania 2 Favorite Comedic Movie Pitch Perfect 2 Favorite Comedic Movie Actor Kevin Hart Favorite Comedic Movie Actress Melissa McCarthy Favorite Dramatic Movie The Martian Favorite Dramatic Movie Actor Johnny Depp Favorite Dramatic Movie Actress Dakota Johnson Favorite Family Movie Minions Favorite Thriller movie Taken 3 TV CATEGORIES Favorite TV Show The Big Bang Theory Favorite Network TV Comedy The Big Bang Theory Favorite Comedic TV Actor Jim Parsons Favorite Comedic TV Actress Melissa McCarthy Favorite Network TV Drama Grey's Anatomy Favorite Dramatic TV Actor Taylor Kinney Favorite Dramatic TV Actress Ellen Pompeo Favorite Cable TV Comedy It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Favorite Cable TV Drama Pretty Little Liars Favorite Cable TV Actor Kevin Hart Favorite Cable TV Actress Sasha Alexander Favorite Premium Cable TV Show Homeland Favorite Premium Cable TV Actor Dwayne Johnson Favorite Premium Cable TV Actress Kristen Bell Favorite TV Crime Drama Person of Interest Favorite TV Crime Drama Actor Nathan Fillion Favorite TV Crime Drama Actress Stana Katic Favorite Network TV Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show Beauty and the Beast Favorite Cable TV Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show Outlander Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actor Jensen Ackles Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy TV Actress Caitriona Balfe Favorite Competition TV Show The Voice Favorite Daytime TV Host Ellen DeGeneres Favorite Daytime TV Hosting Team The Talk Favorite Late Night Talk Show Host Jimmy Fallon Favorite Streaming Series Orange is the New Black Favorite Actor in a New TV Series John Stamos Favorite Actress in a New TV Series Priyanka Chopra Favorite Animated TV Show The Simpsons MUSIC CATEGORIES Favorite Male Artist Ed Sheeran Favorite Female Artist Taylor Swift Favorite Group Fifth Harmony Favorite Breakout Artist Shawn Mendes Favorite Male Country Artist Blake Shelton Favorite Female Country Artist Carrie Underwood Favorite Country Group Lady Antebellum Favorite Pop Artist Taylor Swift Favorite Hip-Hop Artist Nicki Minaj Favorite R&B Artist The Weeknd Favorite Album Meghan Trainor Favorite Song “What Do You Mean?” - Justin Bieber Favorite Music Icon Madonna DIGITAL CATEGORIES Favorite Social Media Celebrity Britney Spears Favorite Social Media Star Matt Bellassai Favorite Mobile Game Candy Crush Saga Favorite Video Game Super Smash Bros. Favorite YouTube Star Connor Franta Share or comment on this article:Ellen DeGeneres shows shirtless Chris Hemsworth picture at People's Choice Awards 2016 14. Chris Hemsworth dismisses Angelina Jolie snap on Ellen ... www.dailymail.co.uk/.../My-wifes-fan-Chris-Hemsworth-dismisses... Mobile · Chris Hemsworth laughed off the public response to him being pictured with Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes during an interview with Ellen DeGeneres this week During the … Chris Hemsworth(@chrishemsworth) • Instagra https://www.instagram.com/c 15. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5257031/My-wifes-fan-Chris-Hemsworth-dismisses-Angelina-snap.html 16. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-5921053/Chris-Pine-Annabelle-Wallis-FINALLY-confirm-romance-rumours-step-holding-hands.html 17. romance 18. Chris Pine and Annabelle Walli 19. Chris Pine and Annabelle Wallis FINALLY confirm romance rumours as they step out holding hands on a date night in London By Louise Saunders for MailOnline 20. MailOnline08:18 EDT 05 Jul 2018, updated 11:36 EDT 05 J
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Get to know me... 1) Sexuality? Complicated and unhealthy
2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Brandon Boyd
3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "-nam War Memorial in Washington D.C. In this very powerful and moving place,"
4) What do you think about most? Freedom from my abuser
5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? "Pravastatin and lock top lock and close door glass"
6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With clothes on
7) What’s your strangest talent? Catching things that suddenly fall before they hit the ground
8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence) Girls are pretty fucking awesome. Boys can be awesome too, I just wish they were nice.
9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? I wrote a poem about myself in junior high. I was a Christian then. Paint walls white Shut windows tight Feel the room cold as the night Sit still and blow out the light Plunge into abyss Kick down door Trip, fall to floor Lay there, stay there, move no more Be the fool just as before No better than this Must defeat Must rise to meet Bright face shining, peace complete Strength to help thee to thy feet Break from killer's kiss Shining face shall show thee grace Walk with thee at steady pace Stay until you finish race Welcome you to bliss.
10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? I don't think I ever have.
11) Do you have any strange phobias? I have a phobia of being on the phone.
12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? I stuck a small ball up my nose when I was little. Thankfully, it occurred to me to blow it out.
13) What’s your religion? I don't have a religion exactly, but I am into Witchcraft.
14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Checking on/watering my plants, or watching the dog
15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind the camera, definitely
16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? Coheed & Cambria. They got me through some seriously hard times.
17) What was the last lie you told? I'm fine.
18) Do you believe in karma? Mmm...I don't know. I think it's hard to obtain evidence of karma, but it's a possibility.
19) What does your URL mean? I have schizoaffective disorder, and I'm a relatively new Pagan.
20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? My greatest weakness I can think of is fear of people. I don't know that I have any strengths, other than that I'm still holding on.
21) Who is your celebrity crush? It changes from time to time, but currently it's Kim Namjoon, a Korean rapper. He's not that pretty really, but I love the sound of his voice.
22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Nope
23) How do you vent your anger? I hold it in because I can't take it when someone gets mad at me, even if I think I'm right.
24) Do you have a collection of anything? I collect toys that I find laying around.
25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Both freak me the fuck out, but if I had to choose I'd pick the phone.
26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become? I'm happier than I was when I was a Christian, but I'm not sure that really answers the question. I guess I'll say I may be getting there.
27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love? I hate the sound of my abuser's voice. I love the sound of good melodies and harmonies.
28) What’s your biggest “what if”? What if I'm stuck living with my abuser for the rest of my life?
29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts are a possibility, but I've never met one. I do believe in aliens. I think the universe is just too damn vast to have life only on earth.
30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. My right arm just feels the air from my fan. My left arm touches the northern wall of my room.
31) Smell the air. What do you smell? I smell my own BO, I haven't had a shower in 3 weeks.
32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to? The King's Academy, where I went to school from Kindergarten to 9th grade
33) Choose East Coast or West Coast? I've never been to the west coast, so I'm stuck with the east coast. I live in south Florida.
34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? Do Kyungsoo, another Korean. He may be short, but I do not care. He's beautiful to me, and his voice is amazing.
35) To you, what is the meaning of life? It varies from being to being.
36) Define Art. Definition 1) expression of one's feelings. Definition 2) depiction of one's surroundings. That's about the best I can do, although I get the feeling my definitions fall short.
37) Do you believe in luck? That's a tough one, I really don't know.
38) What’s the weather like right now? 78 degrees, no real breeze, skies partly cloudy
39) What time is it? 2:23am
40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes, and yes. But it was the other girl's fault. I was driving the speed limit going straight through a green light, and the other girl was on the other side making a left turn. She didn't have an arrow, so she was supposed to wait for me. But she didn't see me, and started making her turn when I was right up on her. I slammed the brakes, but it was too late.
41) What was the last book you read? Striped Ice Cream by Joan M. Lexau
42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? Yes
43) Do you have any nicknames? Chrissy, Spoo Pooka, Poota, Buttons, Christal Louise
44) What was the last movie you saw? Babies. Such a cute movie
45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Just a knee scrape
46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? Yes
47) Do you have any obsessions right now? Kpop
48) What’s your sexual orientation? I don't quite know...? Like I do find some people attractive, but I have no interest whatsoever in sexual intercourse.
49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? Yeah, back in middle school I had a rumor spread about me that I was in love with one of my friends. I'm black and he was white, so it was kind of a big deal. Some people thought that the Bible said you weren't supposed to date outside your race, so it was really embarrassing.
50) Do you believe in magic? I've only tried very little, but I still lean toward yes.
51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? Not with the little things, like if someone ate my food, or borrowed something without asking, stuff like that. But deep pain that lasts for the rest of my life does not get forgiven.
52) What is your astrological sign? Scorpio
53) Do you save money or spend it? Spend it
54) What’s the last thing you purchased? Just some food stuffs from Walmart
55) Love or lust? Love please
56) In a relationship? I've never even been on a date.
57) How many relationships have you had? 0, big fat ostrich egg
58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Nope
59) Where were you yesterday? Home all day
60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Some pink underwear
61) Are you wearing socks right now? Always, unless it's absolutely sweltering
62) What’s your favorite animal? Cats, domestic and feral
63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? Kindness
64) Where is your best friend? You mean my older sister? Either at her house, or at her boyfriend's house
65) Spit or swallow?(; Spit or swallow what? Saliva? Swallow, I think spitting saliva is gross unless you have a cold and can't stop salivating.
66) What is your heritage? Well I'm basically African American, but I don't know what African country my ancestors were from. I was also told that my family has Cherokee in our blood, but I can't verify that.
67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? I was either trying to sleep, or I was checking all my social media.
68) What do you think is Satan’s last name? According to Christianity, which I think is where Satan came from, he used to be an angel, and they didn't have last names. Or do you mean a human that I think is really evil? I couldn't choose just one.
69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off? You can't ask me that!
70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? I suppose so, I think I'm alright.
71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Assuming I can swim? Save the dog, of course! It's hard to imagine though, because dogs are generally good swimmers. Right?
72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid? I would probably end up telling my mom. I think I would just live my last days normally. I would only be afraid if death was going to be painful. I have a very low pain threshold.
73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love. I trust no one, so I guess I'll take love.
74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Between the Rent and Me by...Snowden? I forget who it's by.
75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? Now why would you need to know that?
76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? I want trust, love, and longevity.
77) How can I win your heart? Smile at me genuinely in a way that is neither creepy nor flirtatious. This tells me that I have your positive attention, and that you are not a threat. Give me a compliment that is neither creepy nor flirtatious. This is just more normal-person treatment for me, and if I believe you it'll make me feel really good. Don't be a Christian, you will lose my trust immediately. Be somewhere in between smart and stupid. You can have a talent, but you better not be a genius. I could go on...
78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? Define "insanity" first.
79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Quitting Christianity
80) What size shoes do you wear? 11
81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? Oh I don't care about that.
82) What is your favorite word? I like the sound of the word "androgynous".
83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Break
84) What is a saying you say a lot? "Change is the only constant."
85) What’s the last song you listened to? BTS Cypher 4. Yes, it's Korean.
86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors? Deep purple, and deep green
87) What is your current desktop picture? The Atlantic Ocean
88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? My abuser
89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Number 69
90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do? Pass out
91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Invisibility
92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? The moment when I became the fastest runner in my Kindergarten class
93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? Can I erase my whole childhood? Oh wait no, wouldn't wanna erase the day I became the fastest runner in my Kindergarten class...
94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? I don't want to have sex so...if we were just going to have a slumber party I guess I'd give Brandon Boyd a shot.
95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? NYC. Can I take my sister?
96) Do you have any relatives in jail? My uncle went to jail once. If I remember correctly, he was trying to steal some sea turtle eggs.
97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? Yes, but it wasn't car sickness, it was having taken my antipsychotic without food.
98) Ever been on a plane? Yes
99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? Good morning! My name is Christal B- and I'm looking for a friend. I am: schizoaffective, a budding Witch, black, shy, introverted, in school part time pursuing an AS in Environmental Science, unemployed, living with my parents, a little chubby, 5'7", punkish, emotionally sensitive, and overall fairly decent I would say. I have: a learning disability, athsma, a car, no pets, and no children. I like: plants, animals (wild and domestic), food, books, traveling, MUSIC, clothes, art, and thunderstorms. I dislike: sports, sex, drugs, and alcohol. I'm serious. I'd like you to be: kind, understanding, reasonably intelligent, and interested in some of the same things. If you have any questions please ask, and if you think we might get along please contact me. I can be found on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and Tumblr. Thank you for taking the time to listen, and have a wonderful day.
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What Exactly Is Going on Between Chrissy Teigen and Alison Roman on Twitter added to Google Docs
What Exactly Is Going on Between Chrissy Teigen and Alison Roman on Twitter
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After making some critical comments about Teigen and Marie Kondo in an interview, rising star Roman faces her first big backlash
In These Trying Times, we reach for the things that get us through our monotonous days. Zoom calls with family. A perfectly risen sourdough loaf. And of course, Twitter gossip about popular-but-niche food personalities. You may have seen a dust-up over the weekend involving food world ingenue Alison Roman and model, cookbook author, and “Queen of Twitter” Chrissy Teigen, resulting in Teigen locking her Twitter account, and Roman making a public apology. Allow us to distract you from the state of the world by explaining this unholy mess.
Who are the key players?
You are likely more familiar with Teigen, an Asian-American model who is married to musician John Legend. She hosts multiple TV shows, has run various food blogs for nearly a decade, published two best-selling cookbooks, and in general is a hoot on Twitter. She has built her brand on the juxtaposition of her beauty and her TMI social media persona, inspiring lists like “20 Life-Changing Things Chrissy Teigen Tweeted in 2019” that round up her various dunks on people, including her husband, and ever-relatable sentiments like “I am so stupid and so tired please stop expecting things from me.” She also yells at Donald Trump a lot.
Alison Roman is the “it” girl of the food world. She has worked as a pastry chef at Momofuku Milk Bar and Quince, and is currently a columnist at the New York Times. She has also published two cookbooks, and her recipes have a tendency to become so popular they earn mononyms like “The Cookies” and “The Stew.” Her most recent viral creation is a very good pasta with shallots and anchovies. Roman has come to represent a modern version of the “domestic goddess” archetype, demonstrating how you too can cook more with less. Her whole vibe is that of your coolest friend who effortlessly throws the best dinner parties. She has also received criticism for the way her recipes, particularly her turmeric-and-coconut chickpea stew, whitewash non-European traditions. But as fans of hers will attest, her recipes are often worth the hype.
So what happened?
In a softball interview in the New Consumer, Roman managed to piss off a lot of people. She used the interview to announce a collaboration with Material, a limited-edition capsule collection of “a few tools that I designed that are based on tools that I use that aren’t in production anywhere.” But almost immediately, she pivoted to criticizing people who leverage their popularity to produce consumer goods... just as she has.
Roman brought up Marie Kondo, author of The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which espouses her KonMari method of doing away with items in your home that don’t “spark joy.” Kondo’s method has been widely misunderstood by many, especially in the West, as getting rid of all your belongings, but really is more about encouraging you to only keep things you actually want. Kondo recently came out with a line of products, which Roman criticizes, saying she “decided to capitalize on her fame and make stuff that you can buy, that is completely antithetical to everything she’s ever taught you.”
Speaking on Kondo’s product line, Roman joked, “For the low, low price of $19.99, please to buy my cutting board!,” something many readers interpreted as mocking Kondo’s Japanese accent. However, Roman says that she was making an inside joke about an Eastern European cookbook she owns, and Dan Frommer, who conducted the interview, says she was not doing any kind of mock Asian accent during the conversation.
Seemingly unprompted, Roman also brought up Teigen as an example of someone who’s used a bit of success to create a personal brand empire. “What Chrissy Teigen has done is so crazy to me,” she said. “She had a successful cookbook. And then it was like: Boom, line at Target. Boom, now she has an Instagram page that has over a million followers where it’s just, like, people running a content farm for her.”
“That horrifies me and it’s not something that I ever want to do,” Roman, who is now writing her third book, remarked.
That seems sort of hypocritical, right?
Indeed, one of the initial criticisms was that a “capsule collection” of recreated-vintage spoons is not much different from a line of cookware at Target, and that Roman has done plenty to capitalize on her brand, including being in the middle of producing a new TV show (more on that in a second). Also, some say her claims of not making much money are a bit disingenuous, aimed to drum up sympathy for someone who is likely making at least some money off royalties and said TV show. Roman responded to this early criticism with a tweet bemoaning “when women bully other women,” to which journalist Lauren Oyler (who had initially subtweeted Roman’s money claims) responded that criticism and bullying are not the same.
Oh please. I’m not “bullying” you, I’m saying we both know how it works and your comments misrepresent it. Sorry I generalized by saying “speaking gigs” so that my comments applied to other people as well, I should have made the subtweet more explicit by saying “content creation” https://t.co/XtRsKy1uGM
— Lauren Oyler (@laurenoyler) May 8, 2020
Roman’s “bullying” claims seemed to have backed her into a corner, seeing as a large chunk of her now-viral New Consumer interview was spent criticizing Kondo and Teigen. She could have just said “branding isn’t for me” — which would have been a lie, sure, but at least would have managed not to narrow in on two women of color. The “lifestyle” space is notoriously white, and for Roman to single out Teigen and Kondo comes off as pointed, given that there are so many white people (like Gwyneth Paltrow) doing the same thing. Chrissy Teigen and Marie Kondo are both wildly successful and certainly not beyond criticism. But given that Roman has already been criticized for using Asian flavors in her recipes without acknowledging where those flavors came from, her use of Teigen, who is of Thai descent, and Kondo, who is Japanese, as examples of what she doesn’t want to be strengthens accusations that she needs to better acknowledge her white privilege.
Alison Roman singles out Marie Kondo / Chrissy Teigen as sellouts, yet takes no issue w/ white women capitalizing on lifestyle content, asking "Does the world need another Goop?" when reflecting on her own brand. Says a lot about who she thinks is allowed to build global empires https://t.co/HJYIvtQZBP
— Michelle da Silva (@michdas) May 8, 2020
Alison Roman coming after Marie Kondo for being successful and making a lot of money is pure Karen energy. There are so few Asians in this lifestyle influencer space anyway and I wonder why she feels the need to drag women of color down just because she doesn’t like competition.
— Eugene Gu, MD (@eugenegu) May 9, 2020
okay so alison roman having such an issue with marie kondo and chrissy teigen making money off of their passions and interest but has no problem with whatever the fuck gwyneth paltrow is doing says a lot
— horrible goose (@meatl0aff) May 9, 2020Okay, but Twitter dust-ups happen all the time. Does it get messier?
It would be one thing if Roman had nothing but Twitter goodwill to lose by criticizing Teigen’s consumerist impulses. But in a now-protected tweet, Teigen wrote of Roman’s remarks: “[T]his is a huge bummer and hit me hard. I have made her recipes for years now, bought the cookbooks, supported her on social and praised her in interviews. I even signed on to executive produce the very show she talks about doing in this article.” She later wrote, “Anyhow. now that that’s out there, I guess we should probably unfollow each other @alisoneroman.”
Did Roman at least apologize?
She did. On Twitter, Roman said she had emailed Teigen privately, but also wanted to publicly apologize. “I’m genuinely sorry I caused you pain with what I said,” she wrote. “I shouldn’t have used you/your business (or Marie’s!) as an example to show what I wanted for my own career.” She also reiterated “being a woman who takes down other women is absolutely not my thing.”
Being a woman who takes down other women is absolutely not my thing and don’t think it’s yours, either (I obviously failed to effectively communicate that). I hope we can meet one day, I think we’d probably get along.
— alison roman (@alisoneroman) May 9, 2020
Teigen locked her Twitter account, and announced to her millions of followers that she is taking a break due to the drama and the abuse she received in the wake of her and Roman’s interactions. “I really hate what this drama has caused this week,” Teigen wrote, according to the Daily Beast. “Calling my kids Petri dish babies [Teigen’s children were both conceived through IVF] or making up flight manifests with my name on them to ‘Epstein island,’ to justify someone else’s disdain with me seems gross to me so I’m gonna take a little break.”
So where does this leave us? Am I not allowed to make that pasta anymore?
Roman may have summoned the monkey’s paw when she tweeted, on April 7, “Dear lord please let me get through this pandemic without a backlash, my shallot pasta popularity is all I have in these dark times.” A lot of people are pissed at Roman right now, which is bolstered by a low-level resentment that’s been bubbling for some time. Some of it is the usual backlash that comes whenever anyone becomes popular. She has a cool job that she is very good at, she’s experiencing an influx of opportunity, and you probably have one friend who won’t shut up about her. Of course, some contrarians are going to roll their eyes.
But some of it is because of her refusal to acknowledge the way she borrows flavors without credit. In an interview in Jezebel last year, Roman said that, being white, she has “no culture.” White people often like to position themselves as some sort of default, and though she may not feel any particular connection to the “vaguely European” countries her forbearers came from, whiteness is indeed a culture — the dominant one. And yet a certain set of people associate turmeric and coconut milk mainly with her. Roman can hardly be solely blamed for white supremacy in the food industry, and it’s of course not as though white people aren’t allowed to cook curries. But it’s the whole picture — of a white woman making a name for herself off South Asian ingredients with which she joyfully admits she has no particular expertise, while simultaneously criticizing women of color who are making a living doing almost exactly what she’s doing — that’s so frustrating to many.
The backlash also reveals the limits of what Kristin Wong calls Roman’s “too cool to care” persona. In the New Consumer, Roman brags that she runs her own social media and communications, however sloppily. “The Internet loves authenticity and admitting you’re a creative mess who doesn’t understand business reads as authentic,” Wong writes. “By shunning how it all works, you’re raging against the capitalist machine, which only makes you more appealing to it.”
But at a certain point, Roman reached the level of fame in which her persona is at direct odds with how her life now looks. She may have begun as a 20-something clueless girl who was just really good at cooking, but now she has books, TV deals, and a line (sorry, capsule collection) of products. Any attempt at “relatability” rings false, because little about her life is relatable to most people. Her positioning of not being into the whole marketing thing reads more as a result of her privilege, not a cute quirk. “For people of different ethnic and racial backgrounds, the ‘money is bad/I don’t care about success/business is stupid’ narrative just doesn’t hit the same,” writes Wong. “When you grow up with generational poverty, as so many immigrant families and marginalized groups do, you don’t have the luxury of not giving a shit about money.”
Roman’s fans will largely remain Roman fans and her detractors will likely remain detractors. Other than horrid Twitter trolls, Teigen has received an outpouring of support from cooking industry all-stars like José Andrés. I made The Cookies last week and they were pretty good.
Disclosure: Chrissy Teigen is producing shows for Hulu in partnership with Vox Media Studios, part of Eater’s parent company, Vox Media. No Eater staff member is involved in the production of those shows, and this does not impact coverage on Eater.
Disclosure: John Legend is a board member of Vox Media, Eater’s parent company.
via Eater - All https://www.eater.com/2020/5/11/21254554/chrissy-teigen-alison-roman-twitter-fallout-explained
Created May 12, 2020 at 03:18AM
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You are the absolute best idea I ever had - part 1
Ok so I’m still not sure about doing the chapter thing because it’s been so long since I wrote anything I have no idea how long my inspiration will last (or my fingers for that matter) but let’s go for it. *bites nails nervously*
Thanks as always to @amandaj718 for listening to me ramble about this and convincing me it was a good idea. It’s based on Red, White and Royal Blue, probably fairly loosely in some bits and more in others. We’ll see.
(They’re a similar age here and about Aaron’s age on the show when they met, maybe a bit younger, but it’s not vitally important)
AO3 Link
*******
Robert looked round the room as he dumped his bag on the bed. It did look comfortable he supposed, but that didn’t mask the fact that he didn’t want to be here. The room itself was nothing special, nothing like most people would expect in the home of the British Prime Minister he had no doubt. It was bigger than he expected, no doubt thanks to the Blairs and their renovations back in the day. It wasn’t his home though. He had a flat, a perfectly nice flat in the middle of the city that suited him and yet here he was.
“You’re here then.” He turns to see his Dad standing in the doorway, suit as immaculate as always. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen him look casual, even when his Mum used to force him into a sweater or polo shirt during the summer.
“You didn’t give me much choice.” He’d expected the call, as soon as he’d woken up to a phone full of news notifications. He supposes it’s not every day the son of one of the most popular Prime Ministers in recent history is caught red handed with the sister of his beloved wife. It didn’t matter that in private their marriage had been over for months, that Chrissie was already with someone else. No, he was the one at fault, all manner of rumours doing the rounds, because they’d kept their separation private so as not to harm his father’s reputation.
What rankled most, as it had most of his life, was that his Dad hadn’t even called himself, not even his closest assistant had been the one to make the call, a lowly staffer was all he got, telling him that ‘the PM thinks it best you move into 10 Downing Street for the foreseeable’.
It wasn’t that he wanted to be front page news, he didn’t go looking for it like some, but ever since his father had swept to power on a promise of reuniting the country, the press had been on him like bees round a honeypot, half the time making up their own gossip without him even leaving his living room. He wasn’t like his brother, the fine upstanding Andy, who still ran the farm that their Dad had grown up on, Andy with the sick daughter who everyone doted on, including Robert, he’s not that terrible a human being. Then there was Vic, the darling of the press, who smiled and waved every time she left the building, who would often take some of her newest creations out to the waiting press gaggle for them to try. Robert was just trying to live his life, but that wasn’t good enough, never had been.
“I need you to come with me tonight. I think it would be a good idea for people to see you doing some good for a change. Diane is already attending a charity event.”
“Where is it?”
“The palace. Be ready for 7.” He turned to leave. “And Robert, I don’t want any silliness, not like last time.”
Honestly, you get slightly merry one time at a Downing Street party and you never hear the end of it. It’s not like he declared war on anyone, he just, well he might’ve broken a vase. It was hideous anyway and deserved to be broken, but apparently it’d been a gift from some country or other that the country needed to trade with. Robert really didn’t think that trade deals depended on a frankly ugly piece of china but as had been pointed out to him many many times he knew nothing about politics and should keep his nose out.
It wasn’t that he was politically ignorant, he voted, he read the news, he researched anything that might be relevant to him or his job, but after years of hearing his parents fighting because his Dad was forever away from home or spending more time sorting out his constituents problems than those in his own family, as far as he was concerned the whole thing was a pantomime. The happy family that had stood on the steps outside, smiling and waving, was nothing but a charade. He and Andy barely spoke, which was fine by him, his Dad could barely stand the sight of him and Diane and Victoria just wanted them all to get along and that meant Robert should shut up and get on with it.
“Robert?” He stops unpacking and turns to see his little sister leaning on the doorframe, hair done up in her usual braid, already coming loose at the front. She’s holding a plate in her hand, his favourite flavour of doughnut sitting proudly on top. He’s missed her. The downside to avoiding his Dad is that he doesn’t see her as much as he likes.
“Hiya trouble.” He pulls her into a hug. “That for me?”
“Thought you might need it. Dad said you were going with him tonight?” She hands him the plate before bouncing on the bed. Sometimes it’s hard to believe she’s a fully fledged adult.
“Not willingly.” He mumbles around his food. “This ’s good.”
“It’s boring is what it is. Why won’t you try some of my other flavours?”
“Because you do not mess with jam doughnuts Vic. Some things have to remain sacred in this world.” He smiles a little at her huff and licks the sugar from his fingers before joining her on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go tonight?”
“I went last time. Besides, it’ll give you the chance to stare at you know who all night.” He groans, regretting once more the late night conversation a few years ago when he was still living at home.
“I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“Debatable. Anyway I don’t want to stare at anyone, least of all him.”
“So the words His Royal Hotness didn’t pass your lips?”
“Vodka had passed my lips.”
“So you don’t fancy the second in line to the throne then?” He shakes his head at her, irritated but loving her all the same. She was the only one of them who knew he was bi, well no, he supposed his Dad did even if they’d never actually managed a conversation. He idly wonders what it’d be like to tell everyone what had happened, the see the scales fall from the eyes of the nation about their perfect leader. He’d never do it, would never hurt Vic like that, but sometimes the look on his Dad’s face if he did would comfort him somehow.
“No!” He could admit, if pushed that Aaron was good looking, he wasn’t blind, but so were lots of people.
“Hm.”
“The man never smiles Vic. Last year, at his cousin’s wedding, did you even see him without a scowl?”
“You took notice of him then?” He half heartedly smacks her arm, making her laugh. “I’m glad you’re here, Rob, I missed you.”
“I’ve been here.” It’s lame, because he hasn’t, not really.
“I mean more than a couple of texts and a phone call once a month. How long are you going to be here?”
“Until I’m not grounded anymore.”
“Idiot. I’m going, Adam’s picking me up at 4.” She’s gone before he can even ask who Adam is. It just proves how distant he’s been from her and he feels guilty all over again.
*******
“I meant what I said Robert, best behaviour tonight. I think you’ve made enough headlines with your dalliances for a while, don’t you?” It’s on the tip of his tongue to drag up Rachel, something else that no one knows but family, but he stops himself. It’s not worth the hassle. Hopefully if he gets through tonight he won’t be asked again for a long while.
“Just once it’d be nice if you pretended to have even an ounce of faith in me. You do know Chrissie is right now shacked up with someone else, don’t you? And was before I went anywhere near Rebecca.”
“No one cares about that. Just behave yourself. Is that too much to ask? This isn’t just some party, it’s the Queen and her family. Show some respect.”
Privately he thought that Queen Faith looked rather fun and would be quite at home gossiping over a few glasses of red rather than endlessly shaking hands but he keeps it to himself as they pull up the gates of the palace. He can’t help looking up at the building a little in awe. He’s wouldn’t really class himself as a monarchist, but he doesn’t wish any of them any ill, and he watches all the pomp and ceremony on TV like everyone else. He just doesn’t particularly want to spend the night minding his P’s and Q’s because he’s really not all that good at it.
He takes a deep breath as the car stops and the door is opened. As he watches his Dad step out he can’t help but think his world has really taken a turn in the last 24 hours.
#I am incredibly nervous#because it's been a year almost#but here you go#enjoy#i'm taking liberties with lots about politics and the royals but hey who doesn't#right?#robron fic
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Daniel Marc Chant is an author of strange fiction. His passion for H. P. Lovecraft & the films of John Carpenter inspired him to produce intense, cinematic stories with a sinister edge.
Daniel launched his début “Burning House” in 2015, swiftly following with the Lovecraft-inspired “Maldición.” His most recent books “Mr. Robespierre”, “Aimee Bancroft and The Singularity Storm” and “Into Fear” have garnered universal praise.
He has featured in the anthology collections “Cthulhu Lies Dreaming” from Ghostwoods Books, “Death By Chocolate” from KnightsWatch Press, “VS.” from Shadow Work Publishing and “Bah! Humbug!” from Matt Shaw Publishing, and the upcoming “The Stars at My Door” from April Moon Books.
Daniel also created “The Black Room Manuscripts” a charity horror anthology & is a founder of UK independent genre publisher The Sinister Horror Company. Please welcome Daniel Marc Chant to Roadie Notes……
1. How old were you when you first wrote your first story?
I would have been around nine or ten at a guess. I was certainly in the later years of Primary School here in the U.K. During those formative years I was very interested in the Fighting Fantasy series of books as well as tabletop fantasy gaming. I remember writing a series of stories based around a burly Orc warrior named Grogan who was always caught up in some hapless adventure that required his specific brand of violence. No doubt inspired by early watching’s of Conan. Sadly Grogan’s adventures weren’t that great, but they do still exist somewhere in my parents attic. Along with my soul.
2. How many books have you written?
Well it depends on whether you count released and unreleased? Released I have Burning House, Maldicion, Mr. Robespierre, Aimee Bancroft and The Singularity Storm, Into Fear and One Girl Army – so that’s seven. Unreleased (but practically finished) I have Devil Kickers and Incarnate so that’s another two. All in all nine. Not a bad tally.
3. Anything you won’t write about?
Sexual violence and animal cruelty. I’m no prude but I couldn’t personally use those subject matters and write a convincing tale that would justify their inclusion. Other writers have done so masterfully but I know I would struggle with it, and therefore it’s not for my fiction. I’ll leave that to others. My style is a cocktail of 80’s nostalgia, Lovecraftian mythos and John Carpenter homage.
4. Tell me about you. Age (if you don’t mind answering), married, kids, do you have another job etc…
I’m 38 years young (he says with bones that crack every morning) and I live in Bath, Somerset U.K. with my girlfriend Christian Lourenco (yes, she does have a boy’s name, she’s half-French). No kids, never wanted any and luckily nor did Christian so we’re good on that front! During the day I am a mild-mannered office worker in the world of finance (there’s a far lengthier explanation of what I do, but it makes most people’s eyes glaze over so I’ll stick to that).
5. What’s your favorite book you have written?
I would have to say Mr. Robespierre. It’s the encapsulation of the 80’s style horror that I adore as well as being a love letter to my good lady Christian. The little girl Chrissy is based on her, and her parents Dom and Sandy are based on her real parents. The book is full of little details and nods to incidental things that I think help flesh it out to be a believable slice of unbelievability. It all happened because I had just finished Maldicion and I (foolishly) asked her what she would like to read about in a book by me. Her response was, “cats, ghost, Madonna and me,” in that order. And so Mr. Robespierre was born.
6. Who or what inspired you to write?
Many things. I fit within your typical horror author stereotype in the fact that I didn’t have a great experience during my school years (bullying and shit like that – don’t worry, I’m fine) so that led me to find escapism in other avenues. Books, comic books, films, and music became the universes that I would escape to. And the more you escape to a universe the more you want to be part of it, so you start creating elements to contribute towards it. At first clumsy fan-fiction and then as it develops you go further down the rabbit hole. The lightning bolt came when I first read H. P. Lovecraft at an impressionable age. His concepts really resonated with me, and still do to this day.
7. What do you like to do for fun?
I watch far too many movies. Far too many movies. And also I’m an avid gamer. For more socially acceptable pastimes I do love to cook and am fucking good at it, if I do say so myself. I blame the expectations of a half-French girlfriend.
8. Any traditions you do when you finish a book?
Think it’s all shit and cry alone. Does that count?
9. Where do you write? Quite or music?
I write at a table in my flat on a Samsung laptop. I always write to music. I cannot do it any other way. It’s always orchestral music too. Sometimes classical, sometimes film scores, sometimes video game scores, and other times just an eclectic mix of whatever Spotify throws at me. I tend to create a ‘mood’ playlist of stuff though and then play that. So for Maldicion it was all brooding pieces, Devil Kickers was Southern Blues, Mr. Robespierre was synth and so on.
10. Anything you would change about your writing?
I pride myself on being a B-movie writer. What I mean by that is that I like to think of my work as self-contained little stories, like movies, that you’d find at the rental stories of my youth. You’d pick them up, watch them and have a laugh or a jump scare and then job done. I’m not, and never will be, the award-winning author whose works transcends the genre. I write monster books.
But the flip-side to that is that my scope can sometimes feel limited to me as I tend to be drawn to throw monsters in everything. And I mean everything. I’m not a master of subtlety and think I’ve got some work to do to in time to turn the dial down, rather than up, when a story gives an opportunity.
But still. Monsters.
11. What is your dream? Famous writer?
As I said above I have no aspirations to be the next Stephen King or whatever. I just want to write an entertaining yarn. If I make somebody lose themselves in the world I created for a few hours then that’s job done. I couldn’t be happier. In an ideal world I’d like to see a film or two based on something I’ve done but a boy’s got to dream right?
12. Where do you live?
Bath, Somerset U.K. A quaint little place that I love dearly. I’m not from here originally, I hail from a place called Gillingham, Dorset (which is also where Justin Park comes from funnily enough).
13. Pets?
None. And it breaks my heart! I adore animals. Where we live we are unable to have pets because British rental rules are random. You can have a screaming, shit spewing child that draws on the walls but you can’t have a cat that will sleep most of the day.
14. What’s your favorite thing about writing?
Monsters. And like I mentioned earlier I like to think of myself as a vendor of B-movie fiction and, being a fan of B-movie fiction, I like that my work does that.
15. What is coming next for you?
One Girl Army my young adult style novella is released on February 4th. That’s been a long time coming and is about a young woman whose relationship breaks down after she’s disovered her partner is cheating on her. She attends therapy (much to her dislike) to try to help and during these sessions each of her emotions takes physical form in her mind, kind of like Scott Pilgrim, and she must battle them to try and manage her depression and anxiety.
Incarnate is also imminent. It’s subtitled ‘a monstrous faerie tale’ and is an action adventure tale inspired by the works of Neil Gaiman and Guillermo Del Toro with my own twist. As with most of my stuff it features a female protagonist (I blame Aliens) trying to save her boyfriend from other-worldly horrors while being assisted by a demonic magic mirror.
Thanks for having me Becky! It’s been a blast!
You can connect with Daniel Marc Chant here:
Twitter: @danielmarcchant,
facebook/danielmarcchant.
Sinister Horror Company – http://sinisterhorrorcompany.com/
Daniel Marc Chant author page – Author.to/DMC
A few of Daniel Marc Chant’s books:
Getting personal with Daniel Marc Chant Daniel Marc Chant is an author of strange fiction. His passion for H. P. Lovecraft & the films of John Carpenter inspired him to produce intense, cinematic stories with a sinister edge.
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Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 41
Spoilers, obv.
After last issue's formalism, this one just accelerates. And, as everything in this arc, everything is a big beat. If everything is a big beat, how do you choose what to spend your space on? What beats really matter? How do you pace it? What can be a grace note and what's a scene? That's what this issue, and the rest of the arc, tends to be about.
This issue has gone down very well. I'll admit that while I absolutely gasped when I got paged in, I suspect it's going to be least favourite of the whole arc. That more says how much I enjoy the rest of the arc. Also, as a friend put it to me, I may be allergic to making people happy.
Let’s get on with this.
Jamie and Matt's cover:
There is, to some degree, a "Who hasn't had a headshot cover?" to this arc. As such, Mimir finally gets his. This is a glorious one – the pinks and blues, work really well, and the circuitboards frame it well. Obviously, Mimir plays a big role in this issue, so it is thematic. As is…
Paulina's cover
I just love Paulina's covers, as her being the regular alt-cover artist on Thunderbolt should imply. This made me want to immediately pitch a kick-ass pop D&D bard comic to someone, Xena Warrior Princess as produced by Xenomania. The names of the swords are the chef-kiss, but there's so much to love. The expression is everything.
Page 1
One page scene, with a modified nine panel grid. The one page scene is something that happens a lot this arc. I did a two-page version, but with the right seven panels, we're sorted. Yes, this is all we see of the de facto antagonists of the series this issue – when last issue was all about them, it doesn't worry me too much.
Page 2
Standard music journalist concept. That the second album tends to be worst than the first. Hard to prove, though my old friend Peter's note that "you have your whole life preparing for your first album and have a year to do your second" does seem to imply an easy explanation.
Page 3-4-5
Stealth mission! It's Metal Gear WicDiv!
We actually forgot to add the flashes to the first panel until the very last minute. Monthly Comics is a hell of a time sometimes, stress the “hell.”
I love the determination of Laura in the second panel of 3. That's great eyes.
Looking at this now, that "I can't do much now" is in a panel smaller than 1/9th of the page says a lot about the scale she's working on. The background was Matt in full trippy mode – I had a friend note that this scene is a little akin to Kohl in Rue Britannia 5 (The difference being Kohl is using nostalgia for a performance, while Laura is just doing a performance) but the moving squiggle does remind me the use of optical illusions in Phonogram 3. Bugs in the optic nerve are our friend.
Panel 3 on 4 is obviously Clayton living large and conquering. When you ask for something like "Can you sample the background and use as a speech balloon" you have no idea if it's going to work.
We could have divided the middle panel into two, but I suspect it'd have been less effective. We've seen the trick before. Now we see the same trick, but different. Mix it up. We're performers.
Hmm. I realise the Norns string of balloons is something I'm doing more often now – it's not something I've always done. I'm normally a one-panel-one-emotion, which strings of dialogue rarely allow (as, if there’s any change of emotion inside the string, the image is rendered ludicrous). In a middle shot, and a strong emotional throughline with the dialogue and I'm more okay with it.
While this whole three pages is an action sequence, it's also exposition for Laura's current state. The best exposition is demonstration, I guess.
I mean, the last panel of page 5? That's how cut to the bone we are. Problem? Solve it. Problem? Solve it. We don't need to fuck around anymore.
Page 6-7-8
And after six whole trades, the reunion between Lucifer and Laura. I suspect a different writer would have played this bigger and more melodramatic, but when the reader knows this, a splash feels overkill, especially with the taut pacing of the rest of the issue. However... there are five panels here. That's a page's worth of content, and enough to give an emotional throughline.
Sometimes when writing it's all about trying to find an honest response which is also unexpected. Like, in life, you think you'll feel sad or happy at certain times, but when you live through it, you don't. Or you don't entirely. What other stuff is happening? That's what rings true to me.
Anyway – that's where Laura's Guilt comes from. Laura at her most Dionysus.
And then Lucifer shatters all that self pity with the wink. Did you miss me? Of course, you did.
Page 7, panel 4 is one of those "a comic panel is not a moment in time" bits of magic McLeod always talks about. As in, as we read across the panel time progresses. The Mimir/Cass conversation is getting on for... 10 seconds, maybe? The teleport signatures do not take that long to appear. It's only with Laura's interruption that panel kicks into high gear.
As Multiversity noted you can easily imagine another draft of this with a bigger fight scene. And it's true – but also lying around was a version which cuts it even shorter. Do we need to really give a whole page to Cass breaking out? I felt so. Without the big beat, it feels flat. And it's good to see Cass let rip.
The slight angle on Jamie's external shot with a Norns black/white plus golden thread from Matt is really interesting. We don't often see the Norns as combatants in WicDiv, so this is a rare chance to give Cass a "Hello, I am a bad ass too, in case you've forgotten."
Page 9-10-11-12
Cripes. Going this and making notes I can't believe how tightly we're winding this and (more so) getting away from it. We did all this in four pages?
Two panels to the escape – the right image and a handful of taut captions to hold you between scenes. The first is doing a lot of work, but the second is just elegant. What do you need but the broken doors? Great stuff by Jamie here.
(Laura's captions do a lot of work here in setting up the themes, and the return of Sakhmet's memory to the story)
If you're wondering "How on earth could we get the escape be quicker, it's to take the first two panels on page 8 and move to the previous page. That makes it a five panel page, which is entirely do-able. That's a cost, but it would have bought slightly more space in this scene. As it is, I preferred to cut mid-page and end with Lucifer's first spoken lines in ages.
Once more, a big reveal in a small panel. Chrissy's note on the script was basically hearts for Luci at this point. Like, the second she cuts to the chase and tell s people what to do...
...and then the page turn, and she just goes full Lucifer. I know you lot have missed her, but I have too.
Getting back to Inanna was also easy, the sweetheart... but it all leads back to Sakhmet. That Mothering Invention was as tight as it was didn't leave much room for Laura to think about Sakhmet, or mourn at all... or, most of all, make it clear the story (and Laura) considers her loss important and real. It's an awful sad panel at the end of the page.
Inanna's voice was easy to find again. He's such a sweetheart. Tara is a little harder, just as I wrote her less, but I've been fascinated by this arc in terms of writing her as an actual character. I think one of the ironies of issue 13 was that it put Tara on a pedestal, and the pedestal is an objectifying as any other cage. Getting her back as a character is wonderful, and she gets to be as messy and flawed as everyone else.
Inanna not knowing ANY of this is hard. That's the problem with most of this arc – there is so much information flying around, and secrets some (but not all) are aware of. Who gets to respond to what and when? What to remind people of? What to let slide? Inanna not knowing about Baal is so huge it had to be hit and hit hard.
And then... the bodies.
When plotting this and trying to work out how I could get the cast – oh god, this is not a deliberate pun, but it's also clearly a pun - back on their feet, I was thinking of the Morrigan Gambit. Three heads, three bodies. Perfect. Then I remembered Mimir, and swore. I started to think about how that would be a tense, dramatic situation and how the personal politics could play out and I realised that Tara would just turn it down. I then realised that's exactly how the scene would work too.
(In a "tightness" thing, I suspect in another world, this scene would have been two pages. The "and Tara then just butts in" is the key thing, but you could get the timing a little more intricate to sell the moment more – still, even in this page, I could have extended it more, but seeing Tara's elaboration and everyone else's response to it was just key work for them all.)
In passing – Mimir's glowing in the dark in the penultimate panel just wonderful. Nice work Jamie and Matt.
Page 13
From the Sisters of Mercy's song, Marian.
Page 14-15-16-17
Here's where you talk about spending space. What's important here? You need the scale to show what Baph has been doing – and Jamie turns it into something astoundingly gothic. The use of blacks, the use of light and shade. Just the right level of suggestive. It’s one of my favourite bits of composition in the issue.
As the pantheon are getting back together, this leads to an increase in crowd scenes, which are the eternal artist killer. As such, I'm looking for solutions which only involve the absolute minimum of the cast in a scene.
Thee was an awful moment earlier in the issue when I went – wait! Do I have too many heads to carry? Then I realised I was fine. That said, finding places to put them down so we can have chat scenes was also somewhat tricky. The shelf turning up on page 15 is an example. Clealry Baph planned to (er) have a place to keep heads.
Well, I say, Baph, but it's clearly Nergal now. The road from early Nick Cave to late Nick Cave has been a long way. It's a great shot.
To go back to the space, why spend it on this? We’re reintroducing Nergal and Morrigan, and we’re also showing the scale of them in the plot, and the actions of Nergal. Where we go with the bodies is such a big beat, it needs to come from something similarly large. That’s also the reason why so much (relative in the issue) space is spent on the Morrigan/Nergal scenes. Of course, it’s also a key scene for this subplot, so demands space for that. It’s rarely just one reason. Probably a useful time for my usual “these notes are only ever a selection of thoughts.”
This is also a serious pose panel by Jamie.
The “I could bring her back.” He’s an underworld god too. If she could do it, he could. This is something which I suspect some people thought implicit in the old scene, but the final manipulation of Morrigan is unpacked at length in the nine panel grids.
Nine panel grids are a natural rhythm for this – when I was planning the later bit the triple-goddess of it made obvious sense, so it expanded to the whole scene. Also, the cropped image reduces the possibility of a Jamie crowd scene.
I always thought that, given the amount of time the various characters get on film, Ladyhawke could more accurately be called Blokeywolf. I digress.
Page 18-19-20
As said earlier, the triple-goddess to nine panel grid is one of those natural ways to give a stress to each of the elements. You’ll notice the clicks are left then right then centre. I’d originally written it as left to right, before – after Chrissy’s Editorial urging – rewrote to end with the Macha section to go last. Gentle Annie may have been the kinder part of Morrigan, but Macha was the part he mostly dated.
Then, in a moment of weirdness, Jamie actually drew it in the original order, despite never having seen that script. Morrigan has powers, as does the logical necessity of a left to right panelling order. As a nine panel grid, just moving panels around to fix it is easy. Hail grids!
Like most of the big acts of magic, it’s all about emotional sense than anything else. Hence, it is inevitable as Nergal actually does this, the bleak temple he’s constructed starts to crumble. And, in perhaps the most ludicrous bit of me in the comic, The Temple Of Love Is Falling Down. Too much is the bare minimum.
Jamie’s triple-portrait of the Morrigan is pretty startling. I have no idea if Jamie will miss drawing Badb’s hair, but I’ll miss seeing it.
Re-reading this now I’m struck by how low-key it is. That was always part of WicDiv’s magic – the finger click, and then things happening. The Morrigan transformation was usually drawn to be instantaneous – one panel Macha, the next Badb and so on. This kind of keeps to that.
And then… the reveal. That the new bodies isn’t a splash page says everything about this issue, but it still gets the punching the air moment. We had to have one of those eventually. Lucifer in a black suit is one of the things I’ve been waiting as long to see as Nergal in his. I giggled with glee at seeing this. Jamie’s worked in elements of the Morrigan into each of the gods – Lucifer’s red hair is the most obvious one, but Gentle Annie in Inanna and Macha in Mimir also have their notes. Inanna’s netting top is the main one – and note the shapes on Mimir’s armour changing to mimic Macha’s.
Yes, writing Lucifer remains fun and easy. I recommend it to everyone.
Page 21-22
In terms of seeing chat, people responding to the small details in the issue is one of the bigger joys. That Jamie got the Inanna/Nergal hug in the background of this exchange between Laura/Lucifer/Cass is absolutely wonderful. Laura and Cass have come a long way.
This is arguably a small cliffhanger – the smallest of this arc, at least. However, it sits on the weight of the rest of the run. We’re promising a solution to one of the larger mysteries in the run, and I suspect we get by on that. Note how space is used – this is a dense panel layout, but we go to a thired of a page for Laura’s “I know how to end this” (so giving it weight” and then going to three panel page for the conclusion (which adds weight to each of these beats.) Jamie takes the framing to tight on Cass for the beat as well to sell it. Note Matt with the Norn-colouring creeping in – and how it goes from the fires in the first panel to this is just a joy.
Page 23
Interstitial, and obvious reference to the Jay-Z record, but everyone is just excitedly clapping over the adding stuff to the godwheel. Sergio outdid himself here. It’s certainly an example of how you can have storytelling and even hero-shot audience-cheers beats out of things entirely unlike a traditional comics panel. After all these issue,s we get to see something added to the godwheel. Of course people cheer. That said, as I said to a friend, “Of all the things I’ve found to torture the WicDiv readership, hope is the cruelest of all.”
EDIT: Actually, I messed up here - Jamie did the tweaks. Nice work Jamie!
And that’s it. Next up – 42, wherein questions are answered. In passing – the letters we’ve been getting are amazing. I’m going to try and cram as many as I can in the issues to come, but issue 44 will be our last one with a letters page. So that’s a timelimit if you wanna try and get in. It’s [email protected].
Thanks for reading.
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