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i-denimmark-love-blog · 5 years

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Things to remember when you for counseling at Wimbledon

If you are tired of being stressed from the past many days and seek to obtain easy help from an expertcounselor, you must not delay your visit to the nearest psychologist center. These centers have trained andqualified psychologists who can help people in their physical, emotional and mental health issues. They attain the highest form of the degree to assess your mental state so that they can provide acombination of personalized sessions and therapies to resolve your crises and ensure you are well being. There are handfuls of therapists that claim to offer real help but you must only consult an expert counselorfor counseling at Wimbledon to obtain real help from all such sessions. Who is a psychologist? An expert psychologist will help identify the root cause of your mental issues so that a combination ofcounseling sessions and therapies can be suggested. Depending on the assessment of your mentalconditions, a key therapy method is used to eliminate the issue and ensure long-lasting results for ahappier and peaceful life. How can a psychologist help? Depending upon the state of mind conditions of the individual patient, sessions are often scheduled toaddress the issues and eliminate them permanently. It is sure that when a patient visits an advance clinicto seek help, he/she returns with a happy face to his harmonious life. While a patient makes its mind to visit a psychology clinic, he has a lot of queries in his mind. At timeswhen you are visiting a counselor at Wimbledon, you must remember these essential things: 1. Be cool – Therapy is a team effort. Your therapy can help you only when you helpyourself. You need to show an active part in all the sessions. This will help a doctorunderstand your problems in a better way. 2. Be prepared – Before you actually get to a clinic, you must know your issues. Youmust know what all the things you need to discuss with your expert. If required, note downyour issues over a paper to discuss them with your doctor at the session. 3. Be open – There is nothing to feel sorry about your feelings. Be open to discuss yourproblems with your doctor. An expert can help you when he knows all your issues. 4. Be comfortable – You may be uncomfortable at a new clinic initially but soon youwill get normal to this. You need to get comfortable to ensure the best results from yoursessions. Take your time, relax and start your sessions with counseling at Wimbledon. 5. Be interrogative – Once you are done answering all the questions asked by yourexpert, you can place your questions as well. It is not wrong to ask plenty of questions to yourexpert. This will surely ease your mind. At last, it is a must to remember that all the sessions organized by your counselor at Wimbledon are foryour comfort and thus your cooperation is widely expected. You need to have a realistic expectation fromall your session to expect results from it

#counselling Wimbledon #cbt Wimbledon #cognitive behavioural therapy Wimbledon #psychotherapist Wimbledon #child psychologist Wimbledon

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goldrins-blog · 5 years

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London Psychologist Centre is a local psychotherapy service working with people who have mental health concerns in the Wimbledon area including Wimbedon Village and Merton. We at have a trained psychotherapist in Wimbledon who can help treat a broad spectrum of health and lifestyle concerns.

#psychotherapist Wimbledon #psychotherapy Wimbledon #psychologist Wimbledon #child psychologist Wimbledon

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bbcbreakingnews · 4 years

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Find it hard to get your way? Two of the world’s top psychologists give their life-changing tips

Being able to build a rapport with other people is an essential life skill. Not only is it the bedrock of successful relationships but it can be critical in most professional contexts.

Having a rapport is commonly understood to mean when two people connect or click. Normally, it hums along in the background and, often without knowing it, we engage in building and maintaining rapports with people every single day. They’re how we establish and sustain relationships – from chatting about the weather with strangers to managing complex interactions with those people closest to us.

So can you learn how to build rapport? Above all, it involves making an effort to listen to and understand others, rather than being focused on your own agenda or point of view. For many of us, this can be difficult, especially if we are accustomed to getting our way by being the loudest and most persistent person in the room.

For many of us, this can be difficult, especially if we are accustomed to getting our way by being the loudest and most persistent person in the room

Based on our research as a husband and wife team of psychologists, we have decades of experience of working with the police on some of the most high-profile criminal investigations, such as the London 7/7 bombings of 2005, the murder of Rachel Nickell on Wimbledon Common in 1992, and child sexual exploitation.

We advise and train the British police and security agencies, and the FBI and CIA in the US, on how to deal with dangerous suspects when the stakes are high. These experiences have led us to create a method of effectively interacting with just about anyone. This isn’t a short-term parlour trick. It works because there’s something hard-wired in all of us to respond – consciously or unconsciously – to this approach and, crucially, it even works when someone knows that the techniques are being used on them.

When you know how to build a rapport with another person, you’re in a far better position to have productive conversations that get the results you want.

FOUR FUNDAMENTAL PRINCIPLES OF RAPPORT

We believe there are four cornerstones of rapport: honesty, empathy, autonomy and reflection (HEAR). These HEAR principles provide a blueprint for enhancing interactions with others and improving the chances of getting the outcome you want.

Honesty

‘Be honest with people’ sounds like simple, straightforward advice. However, it can be easy to overstep that honesty and deliver a message that is too blunt or laden with emotion to be received productively by the other person.

The skill is to deliver the right degree of honesty with the right amount of sensitivity. It’s about avoiding trickery, being clear, objective and direct, and keeping calm. There’s no room for emotions here. All too often, especially in the workplace, we hide behind emails to avoid conflict when actually facing things down would resolve them more easily.

If, for example, a colleague constantly takes credit for your ideas, you might want to confront them but worry about the drama it would cause. Instead, you quietly seethe and complain to work friends – neither of which resolves the issue. If, instead, you work out what you want to achieve (an apology and agreement that it won’t happen again) by confronting them, you can practise how to deliver your message honestly and without emotion. That means you can say: ‘We worked together on that strategy but you presented it as entirely your idea and I’m really not happy with that.’

Even if their response is to claim that it’s not true, or that they also did some of the work, or that it doesn’t matter, you can ignore their defensiveness and dismissiveness and respond by saying something like: ‘I’m not trying to take away from your input, but I’d like you to acknowledge my input to the rest of the team.

‘It does really matter to me.’

That way you’re far more likely to get what you want.

Empathy

a word often used but frequently misunderstood, true empathy is not about showing compassion or warmth, but about trying to genuinely understand what a person is thinking and feeling.

You need to uncover another person’s core beliefs and values so that you don’t just imagine how you’d feel if you were them, but can think about how their view on the world and their life experiences also colour how they’re responding to a situation. This means you can acknowledge how someone feels before explaining your position.

This is a critical tactic in being able to give people direct messages or demands. We often refer to this as ‘the toddler and the T-shirt’ approach. Imagine a three-year- old who says: ‘I want to wear my dinosaur T-shirt to nursery today, Mummy.’ But the dino T-shirt has just been washed, and it’s wet.

If Mum simply replies ‘You can’t honey, it’s wet’, the child is likely to say: ‘But I want it.’

Mum says: ‘Well, it’s wet, sweetheart. You can’t wear a wet T-shirt to nursery.’ To which they say: ‘But I want it.’ And so it escalates until both mother and child want to lie down on the floor and cry. But if Mum says instead ‘I know, sweetheart, you love that T-shirt, it’s your favourite. I bet you were looking forward to wearing it and I can see you are really upset about it. [Big nodding eyes.] But it’s wet, honey, so we will dry it today and you can wear it tomorrow, I promise. Today, you need to pick one of these other 20 T-shirts with dinosaurs on them.’ And suddenly they might make it to nursery on time after all.

Autonomy

This is an incredibly powerful feature of how we interact with others. Whether or not we feel someone is trying to control us has a huge influence on our behaviour. Freedom to choose appeals to an instinctive drive within all of us to be in control of our own destiny.

Say, for example, you’re worried about the amount that your mother is smoking but she’s dismissive of your attempts to make her cut down. The more you mention it, suggest she quits or buy her nicotine gum, the more resistant she is likely to be. Instead, you could listen to all the reasons why she can’t quit and respond with something along the lines of ‘So you’re saying you like having a smoke, it relaxes you and you think it will be too hard to quit now – it’s been too long, too many years of a habit’, she will feel understood, listened to and treated with respect, even if you don’t agree with her. Maybe she’ll tell you that she’s tried to quit before and it never works, and you’ll reflect back to her, saying: ‘So you just don’t want to fail again?’

This might trigger the response: ‘Well, yes, after I had your brother, I quit for over a year. I felt really good; I could run around with the kids and the extra money was nice, too! Ugh, why did I ever start again?’ Suddenly, our diehard smoker is contemplating change again, and all because you made her feel she had a choice.

Reflections

This is repeating back in part or in paraphrase what someone has said to you. By using reflection, all you are doing is inviting the other person to expand and add more by ‘sending’ out the key words, feelings or values that you’ve just heard them say. Reflection is useful in both long and short interactions to improve communication. It also helps you sidestep some common conversational traps.

We’ve also identified five different approaches that can help.

SONAR REFLECTIONS

These are summed up by the mnemonic SONAR – Simple, On the one hand, No argument, Affirmations, Reframing. To give an idea of how these can work, we’d like you to consider some typical teenager/parent conversations…

STRATEGY: DEMAND

Child: I really don’t want to go to school today.

Parent: Tough, you’re going.

Child: You can’t make me!

STRATEGY: SARCASM

Child: I know I should do my homework, I’m just so tired all the time!

Parent: Oh please! Wait until you have a real job and then talk to me about being tired…

Child: Whatever… You don’t understand!

STRATEGY: ACCUSE

Child: You’re always on my case about everything!

Parent: Well maybe if you didn’t have to be told everything eight times, I wouldn’t be! Cloth ears!

Child: I hate you! [And I feel bad about myself now.]

STRATEGY: DISMISS

Child: I like maths, but this stuff is impossible – no one could do it!

Parent: The teacher wouldn’t have assigned it if it was impossible – keep trying.

Child: I am trying! I can’t do it!

STRATEGY: CONFRONT

Child: Cleaning my room is pointless – it just gets messy again.

Parent: So, you’re just going to live in filth until you die buried under your own dirty laundry?!

Child: Yep, that’s my plan!

Now look at how the SONAR approach could have resulted in a very different conversation.

SIMPLE

Simple reflections are a direct and often verbatim restatement of what has just been said.

Child: I really don’t want to go to school today.

Parent: You really don’t feel like going to school today?

Child: No, there’s all this drama going on with the other girls – it’s doing my head in!

Parent: Drama?

ON THE ONE HAND

This involves summarising back to the person two conflicting views, emotions or evidence. Whatever you place at the end of the sentence is likely to be what they speak about more, so be tactical.

Child: I know I should do my homework, I’m just so tired all the time!

Parent: So, on the one hand you feel tired, but on the other you know you should do your homework.

Child: Well yeah, duh! This is an important year for me. They use your scores to decide which set you’re in.

Parent: And even though you find it hard, you want to do well.

NO ARGUMENT

Rather than engaging in argument or rationalisations, explore the statement with reflection and do not argue back. Thus, statements such as ‘So what you’re saying to me is…’ or ‘Can you tell me more about that?’ are helpful and prevent tit-for-tat arguments.

Child: You’re always on my case about everything!

Parent: Tell me what’s making you feel that way. [Be prepared for more personal digs.]

Child: You never just talk to me – you just immediately get on me about stuff: do this, do that! It’s annoying…

Parent: You feel like all I do is hassle you and we never just talk.

AFFIRMATION

Actively and determinedly seek out positives to build on as platforms for change and ignore negatives.

Child: I like maths, but this stuff is impossible – no one could do it!

Parent: Tell me what you like about maths.

Child: I like how there’s a proper answer to each problem, but these are just dumb!

Parent: It usually seems easy for you but these are difficult.

REFRAMING

Reflect back what has been said using paraphrasing, summarising or reflecting deeper feelings or values. ‘Based on what you said, I think… is very important to you.’ This is often most effective when followed by a key question that moves the conversation forward to the next topic.

Child: Cleaning my room is pointless – it just gets messy again.

Parent: So, it just seems like a never-ending cycle of mess and that is making you feel frustrated and annoyed, like ‘Why bother?’

Child: Totally. I don’t like it messy but it always is! It’s so depressing…

Parent: So you would prefer it tidy. How can we make it easier?

lExtracted from Rapport, by Emily Alison and Laurence Alison, published by Vermilion on Thursday at £14.99.

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torentialtribute · 5 years

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Konta’s attention to detail is why she is on a journey to win Wimbledon

There are reasons why Jo Konta enters this Wimbledon as Britain's only top 100 ranked female player, let alone the only one who has made the seedings.

A lot of it is down to a relentless worth of ethic and attention to detail, and we get onto the latter subject when discussing the merits of traveling by Tube.

Konta, who lives in south London would like to use more and took a couple of journeys in April, but has reservations about this mode of transport. It transpires this has nothing to do with fear of being hassled or recognized, but worry that it might be jeopardize the training or preparation.

Jo Konta is determined to go and win Wimbledon this year as Britain's only top 100 player

The British No. 1 has a relentless work ethic and wants to win her maiden Grand Slam at SW19

'The reason I avoid it most of the time is that times when I'm at home it's usually in pre-season in the winter or during the summer, when I can't afford to get sick because I'm playing either tournaments or because I'm training intensely, my body is taking a beating and my immune system is low, "she says.

'So if I don't use it because it is a bit of a germ box and you can easily pick something up. Also I took my dog on it and it turns out he is not a very good traveler and did not enjoy it, so that was all a bit stressful. "

Konta is in a lounge at the All England Club that looks across at the Center Court, where this fortnight she will be the renewed focus of attention after the dramatic upturn in the form that this Spring saw her reach the final of the Italian Open and the semi-final of the French Open.

She is, by a long distance, the best domestic hope in the women's singles, and it was on that same arena that she reached the second of the three Grand Slam semis before being stopped by Venus Williams. The draw this year has promise, although the immediate grass form has been middling, not scintillating.

There is an element of the tortoise and hers in how she has got to this position, having tasks a long journey across continents to get here without being flagged up as a serious prospect. Now 28, it is half a lifetime ago that she landed in the UK, but only four years since she started to suggest that she might be a player of the highest caliber.

SHE'S GOT THE GAME, IT'S ALL ABOUT CONSISTENCY NOW

EXCLUSIVE BY JOHN LLOYD : Jo Konta wildly surpassed my expectations at the French Open, but she choked when she got to the semis.

She had a huge chance and let it slip – it's not a crime, it can happen – but I would be concerned about that frailty which showed itself when she got into a winning position.

It is possible to conquer that, as players have done in the past, but for me that would be the difference between getting beyond the semi-finals of a Slam.

Her game could have a little more variety, as she tends to be a little bit predictable at times. But the serve is good, I don't see any problems with it.

The ground strokes are fabulous, she's got a lot of power in both wings and takes the ball on. The return in Paris was particularly impressive.

It is all about consistency, I don't know why she has gone off the bush a bit on grass, but I am not sure it's that much of a bad thing to have gone out early in Eastbourne and had a few days off.

The game is there. She really is ready game-wise. But she did not hesitate when the time comes.

At the time she started to make her move up the rankings there was more British hope invested in the likes of Laura Robson and Heather Watson. That reckoned without the truism that the ability to consistently apply oneself is a huge skill of its own, and it turns out that she has this in a quantity comparable to that of Andy Murray.

Not all comparisons with the Scot are, however, accurate.

"I've never considered the next big thing through my whole career so I was never paid that child or attention since I was little," she says.

'So I never really had to deal with that sort of assumption, I had my own challenges in trying to find the player and the person I am and how to deal with it. It's not something I resent (being under-rated) it's just how it was.

'I play for myself and the enjoyment the game gives me, that wasn't always the case or that easy because when you are younger it's a lot harder to play for yourself. You play for your parents, or for sacrifices that have been made on your behalf.

"For sure I had to go through my own self-discovery in finding the real reasons that I played and enjoyment of it. I can now say that I don't play for other people's opinions or to justify myself or for the status. "

The trigger for Konta was meeting up with Spanish coach Esteban Carill and sports psychologist Juan Coto. The latter tragically took his own life in late 2016, but his influence on her lives on.

"The biggest impact on me was Esteban and Juan who gave me the tools to figure things out and discover myself," says Konta. "It was in that period that I definitely felt I was becoming my own person and individual and self-sufficient and playing for myself. It was late 2014, the beginning of 2015 working with themes that I just started to put in consistent days of good habits, nurturing that perspective. I've had to re-align myself since at times but that was the period I found the good path. "

As is the case with many successful tennis players, it was the parents who made the aforementioned sacrifices to afford her the necessary opportunities.

When they arrived in the UK her father, Gabor, took a job at a hotel near the Excel Arena in East London, and the love of music was partly kindled by the buzz around the acts who used to stay there. The mother Gabriella had an easily transferable skill from their roots in Sydney, working as a dentist.

She gets her work ethic from both as well as the athletic gene. The maternal grandfather, Kersetz Tamas, played two games for the great Hungarian side of the fifties alongside Ferenc Puskas while the father was also an accomplished footballer.

"Part of it is nature and part nurture. My Dad is an absolute workhorse, the work ethic he has and hours he puts in, he works in hospitality and it's a brutal job the hours you have to put in. There were periods of him working late, doing overnight nights, he has always worked long hours. My mum as well is very dedicated to her job, which is very demanding.

"When I was young I would go running with my Dad, I used to train with him. On Sundays he used to play football for an Austrian club in Sydney and I would go on my bike with him while he was playing football, and he had a good ice hockey player. Sadly I never got to meet my Mum's Dad just died before I was born. "

The first tennis experiences were not of Wimbledon, but the pre-Australian Open event at White City in Sydney.

'I remember going there about seven or eight with my Mum and getting Lindsay Davenport's autograph. I did not have an understanding of Wimbledon and that has been quite the education because I fully grasp the weight of Wimbledon – special does not really do it justice.

[1945923]

Perhaps oddly, her most vivid Wimbledon memory is not the run to the semi-finals but the eventful debut as a little known wildcard in the main draw back in 2012.

'I played Christina McHale and lost 10-8 in the third set after it had stopped for bad light in the third set the night before. It was the first time I had played a match over two days.

THREE GAMES NOT TO MISS IN ROUND ONE

Venus Williams v Cori Gauff

On Friday, Cori Gauff became the youngest player to qualify for the main Wimbledon draw since the Open era ground in 1968.

While she said she would love to share the court with her idol Serena Williams, it's pretty certain she will be thrilled by facing her sister Venus instead.

Ana Bogdan v Johanna Konta

She came so close to the French Open when reaching the semi-finals, so Britain will be hoping Johanna Konta can go one better here by making the final.

She reached the semis at SW19 two years ago and should start well against Romanian Ana Bogdan.

Harriet Dart v Christina McHale

Having tasks from a set of seventh seed Karolina Pliskova on her Wimbledon debut last year and reaching the semi-finals of the mixed doubles, big things are expected or 22-year-old Briton Harriet Dart. Certainly one to keep an eye on.

"I remember it was my most tiring Wimbledon, I played doubles and mixed and the whole experience, the emotion and the excitement, meant that I was absolutely exhausted at the end."

Should she get another run this year then what happened two years ago – when she beat Simona Halep under the roof in the quarter finals before losing to Williams – will be of inestimable value.

It will also help that she can return every night to the house she shares with her boyfriend and dachshund, Bono.

'That experience of 2017 was probably the best I have ever managed everything, there is nothing I would change about it. After that tournament I didn't feel drained, it was only later on that I definitely had residual fatigue (she went into a prolonged form slump later in the season), but immediately afterwards I actually felt fine.

' The more times I make it to the second week of Grand Slams can only be good, it doesn't matter how many times you can do it. I sometimes wonder if Roger and Rafa get almost bored with it, they have done it that often, but for me it never becomes less special.

'This time at Wimbledon I get home to my dog and I' m really looking forward to that. I get to close the door and be at home, very few players get to sleep in their own bed and play a Grand Slam at the same time. "

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party-hard-or-die · 6 years

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Mamma Mia! It

LONDON (Reuters) – It will be ‘Mother’s Day’ on Wimbledon’s Centre Court on Monday when Serena Williams takes on fellow mum Evgeniya Rodina for a place in the quarter-finals of the grasscourt major.

FILE PHOTO: U.S. Open tennis tournament champion Kim Clijsters of Belgium, her husband Brian Lynch and their daughter Jada poses with the trophy in New York’s Times Square, September 14, 2009. REUTERS/Brendan McDermid

That showdown means it is guaranteed that a mother will feature in the last eight of the singles championships for the first time since Kim Clijsters made it that far in 2010 accompanied by her then two-year-old toddler Jada.

Williams’ 10-month-old baby, Alexis Olympia, will have no idea what all the fuss is about on Monday. But Rodina’s five-year-old daughter, Anna, will hopefully be able to hang onto some memories of the day when her ‘mama’ met another ‘mom’ on tennis’ most famous stage.

Williams and Moscow-born Rodina are the final two mothers still standing in the singles draw out of the six who came out swinging their rackets a week ago.

While the American has been hailed as a “Supermom” for coming back to the sport at the age of 36 following a year-long maternity break, Clijsters’s triumph at the 2009 U.S. Open proved that it was possible to combine roles of being a good mother with that of a champion athlete.

“There are plenty of mothers on tour right now. I’m happy to see that. It makes me proud,” Clijsters, the only mother to have captured grand slam titles since 1980, told Reuters in an interview.

“It makes me feel like I had some inspiration and was able to inspire other players to do that. Players know it’s possible to come back after they have a kid if they want to, the choice is theirs.”

It is a choice made by several others as the current top 200 in the WTA singles rankings features at least seven working mothers.

Players opting to take a career break are offered assistance in various areas by the WTA governing body, be it medical or psychological.

The WTA’s senior director for athlete assistance, Kathy Martin, said a “a traveling troop of physiotherapists, massage therapists, medical advisors and psychologists” are on hand to offer assistance to any player during or after pregnancy.

“We help players cope and adjust as they come back,” Martin, who has been with the WTA for over two decades, told Reuters.

HEALTHY PLATFORM

“Our focus has always been to ensure there is a healthy platform and they are supported emotionally and physically when they are returning to play.”

However, for Victoria Azarenka, who was ranked number one and won two Australian Open titles before the birth of her son Leo in 2016, all of that is not enough.

The Belarussian, who is a single mother, wants regular WTA Tour events to follow Wimbledon’s lead in providing more on site childcare facilities.

But Martin said the providing of a crèche is not a mandatory requirement at WTA events.

“Most of our mothers… sort out their own childcare arrangements. It’s just like the rest of their team, as it’s not like we are giving them a coach for the week,” said Martin.

“We do have crèches at some events… but not everyone even uses those. When we are working with a tournament, we are looking at what facilities are on site for the tennis tournament to proceed.

“What is directly related is a physiotherapy room, decent medical facilities, a counseling room, the media area, we need courts… all of those things are mandatory for running a tournament.

“Some organizers (in addition) may decide to have a beautician, some will set up a crèche but we haven’t gone driving them in any particular direction because those things are not directly related to the competition.”

A lot of focus has been given to Williams’ comeback as she chases a record-equaling 24th Grand Slam title to draw level with Australian great Margaret Court, who won her last three majors in 1973 following the birth of her first child.

However, Germany’s Tatjana Maria was among several unsung mothers who were also in the Wimbledon draw.

The 30-year-old won her first WTA singles title last month in Mallorca.

Last Wednesday, Maria was one of three mothers to contest their second-round matches on Centre Court, with Azarenka and Williams being the other two.

Unfortunately, barely anyone noticed her achievements because so much is being made of Williams’ comeback.

However, whether a tennis mum has the profile of a Serena Williams or a Tatjana Maria, Clijsters believes they should count themselves lucky.

“I see other female team sports and how their organization works and am surprised at how little support there is,” said Clijsters, who is an ambassador for the Oct. 21-28 WTA Finals in Singapore.

“I had a lot of support from the (WTA) board, I had a lot of support from physios. That support is always there,” added the Belgian, who won three of her four majors following Jada’s birth.

Reporting by Pritha Sarkar, editing by Neil Robinson

The post Mamma Mia! It appeared first on World The News.

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dragnews · 6 years