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volo-omnia · 8 months

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Pokemon Legends Arceus is about Home and what it means to create a Home, change my mind (a mini essay)

Main series titles in the Pokemon series tend to follow themes and explorations of them. With mythology and tradition from Gold/Silver, our relationship to nature in Ruby/Sapphire, truth vs ideals in Black and White, and even the reoccurring themes of treasure and past vs future in Scarlet and Violet.

While PLA is a new departure from most series titles, it still explores a bunch of themes that are central to its story. While the land of ancient Hisui is partial to old traditions, divine gods, and the endless wild, several characters in the game have a recurring theme surrounding on the idea of "Home". This could be how "home" is defined, how one creates a home, and what it means to lose one.

One of the foremost examples of this is you, the player. While we know nothing of the player character outside of what is shown in the intro sequence and possible dialogue choices, the prompt of PLA is obvious. You were taken from your home by Arceus to be dropped into Hisui. Whatever life you had before, you will never come back to. And upon waking up on the beach that Laventon finds you, you have little to no memory, no money, no pokemon, and no where to go.

You have no home.

Now for the player character while it can be interpreted or headcanon a variety of possibilities, (such as the player character being the same player character from D/P/Pt) because it's a player character and meant to be a blank slate, we essentially don't know anything about the hero canonically outside of this. For all intents and purposes the hero has no home to begin with. But there is one thing we know. By the end of the game when you finally meet and defeat Arceus, he doesn't send us back home. We remain in Hisui. Once again, we cannot return to the home we came to. Hisui is our forever home now, but the choice is ours whether we accept or reject it.

This theme occurs a lot with the other characters of the game, to which we will be going through them.

One of the first characters in this game that also hits with this theme is Commander Kamado. Throughout the game it is specifically described as to how his character game to be. His home in Kanto was destroyed by wild pokemon, to which he and the other villagers had to immigrate to Hisui. Upon landing at Prelude Beach, they build Jubilife Village, a haven with large protective gates and guards always on patrol, ensuring security. It's their home, and Kamado repeatedly tells you throughout the game how he's determined to build a home for the village and himself. Even when the skies turn blood red and he banishes you into the wilds, he's determined to fight tooth and nail to protect his home.

This is one of the more obvious examples. Kamado has no home to return to. But in doing so with perseverance, he creates a new one. Even though Hisui is quite different from his old home in Kanto, he does settle with creating a new home, one that is safe, prospering, and peaceful. But when his home is threatened, he does not go back down to protect it.

A home is something you build.

Another similar example of this is the dynamic of Adaman and Irida. Their clans too migrated from other lands to Hisui, eventually settling on the land and living with the local pokemon. From their eyes, a home is something you must share and work together with. Even though they both warred over their patron gods, both the young clan leaders are determined to create a home that is peaceful and without bloodshed between them. However since this is the age of religious folks, insulting one's household deity is also akin to insulting one's home.

To some, a god is a home.

Later in the game we also encounter Lady Cogita. She like most, has no home. While Hisui is the land she has lived in for many years, her original home is long lost to time. As one of the Celestica, all of her people and culture have long disappeared, her god gone, and her old home now reduced to ruins scattered across the land. While she does reside in the Ancient Retreat, was it ever truly her home? That given her long life, does she ever miss the home she once had, and still vividly remembers? Is a home a home if you have no one to share it with? Does she ever feel homesick for her god that no longer answers her? She is a character with many mysteries to her, but you can't help but wonder what burdens could be going through her mind. The deities of time and space may have created the land, but is it the same as creating a home?

And most of all we cannot forget Volo. Your rival, nemesis, and literary foil. Unlike the others, he has no home, but has no home to return to either. Like Cogita, he too has lost all of his Celestica roots. However unlike Cogita, it's unknown whether he actually knows what their home was like before. Since we don't know canonically if Volo was alive at the same time as Cogita, we can assume he came long after the ruin of the Celestica, as he regularly questions her on the myths and traditions of a culture he isn't familiar with. He is a character that was born without a home, and tries desperately to pick up its pieces by ancient stories and writings on ruin walls. He also desperately yearns for his household god, as Arceus has long disappeared in the eyes of the world along with the Celestica.

Volo, as a character, is defined by his homesickness.

However unlike the hero, Volo refuses to accept Hisui as his home. As we all know at the end of the game when Volo reveals his true colors, he mentions that he wishes to subjugate Arceus to create a new world. In a desperate attempt to create a home he can finally accept, his wish is to create one with the powers of his god, and have pain and suffering be long-forgotten concepts. What makes Volo the villain in this scenario however, is that in order to complete this goal, it will destroy the homes of everyone else. In a grand act of selfishness, Volo is willing to destroy the homes of others in order to create his own. A home is something he is willing to destroy.

Overall throughout the game, the theme of what makes a "home" is repeated. Whether it be characters losing their home, characters trying to build a home, or characters trying to simply find a home. And as you play the game, the world around the hero changes. As humans and pokemon start to work together, their lives and homes start to become intertwined, creating a new life for everyone around them.

All lives touch other lives to create something anew and alive. That is a home.

#pokemon legends arceus #pla #pokemon dppt #volo #adaman #irida #cogita #kamado #legends arceus #text #this idea came to me in a vision (the shower)#and i had to write this all down right now or else i'll. explode

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nexstage · 4 years

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LIMBO SILVAM - EPILOGUE (1/2)

Inside the Beach House, everything and everyone were silent. Pearl was drying the dishes with a somber expression, Amethyst, sat in one of the seats in front of the kitchen island, played with her hair bitterly, and Connie was on the sofa looking at her sword, red and puffy eyes trying to holding back more tears. At her left was a gemstone placed over a pillow: Peridot's gemstone.

There was also Lion who watched intently the little gem in her comatose condition like waiting for a signal to act.

If silence had a name, it would be unbearable or hell. Utter, endless hell. The tension between the members of the Crystal Gems could be noticed even for the most oblivious individual in the whole world. Though that didn't matter not the fact that no one in the Beach House had the mood or the guts to 'break the ice' with a single comment. However, what could they say after the torment they were put through?

Amethyst sighed, fed up with the uncertainty, and looked at Pearl and Connie. Both her friends were too immersed in their own way of grief that it seemed they had forgotten the only person who was in the shadows. "Hey," she started but no one listened "Hey, guys" Amethyst was met with the same silence.

Irritated and with her patience to her limit, she resorted to her best tactic. A very high whistle took them by surprise, Pearl caught one of the plates she was drying before it broke into pieces and Connie accidentally dropped her sword to the floor.

"Amethyst, what the heck?!" the veteran gem glared at the quartz "Why did you do that?!"

"Because we're wasting time, P!"

"Wasting time...with what?" Connie asked, her voice a bit hoarse due to the crying. She coughed a bit to clear it. "What do you mean?"

"What are we going to do with Peridot once she wakes up?" Pearl caught the meaning of Amethyst's question faster than Connie and grimaced, trying to think a good answer. "Well..." hesitation stopped her from a moment before continuing "Obviously, we're going to check on her. Verify if she can remember what happened after she was poofed... And cracked... Almost killed..." the last thing was said in a trembling whisper "Then when we're sure her memories are intact, we'll tell her the truth".

"Really, Pearl? Like, for real?" Amethyst sent her the best, most unimpressed stare the old gem had seen in her quasi-immortal life "You're the smartest gem I've known, and this is your best shot?"

"Amethyst, I understand your reservations about my methods but, what can we do? There is no option for Peridot"

"There IS one and that is not waking up. Ever"

"You can't be serious, Amethyst!" Connie yelled outraged and approached the quartz while glaring at her "Have you forgotten that Steven is still in the hospital waiting for an answer about Peridot's condition? Hoping for her to stay in a coma forever is too cruel! Steven can't lose someone else!"

"Well, what's your plan then?!" losing her temper, Amethyst sat up from her seat of the kitchen island and glared at Connie as intensely as the girl "Are we going to tell Peridot 'Hey P-Dot, glad you're awake. Remember that crazy gem, Spinel, who wanted to poison Earth with a giant injector and tried to kill us all? Well, you and Lapis really got into serious trouble with her and almost got crashed, except that you got lucky and Lapis is a bunch of shards inside a bubble. Anyway, want some consolation cookies?'. Do you really expect anyone to say that?! Even after we saw how heartbroken Steven was when we told him?!"

"Ok, enough, both of you!" Pearl put herself in the middle to stop a fight between the pair and pinched the bridge of her nose. Sighing heavily, she gazed at them "Look, this is a compromising situation and there is no way out of it unless we are honest with Peridot. Praying for an endless coma to save everyone from giving the bad news isn't possible and to top it all, it's even selfish"

"How can that be selfish if Peridot is going to suffer again, P?! Should I remind you that Lapis left her homeless and depressed and now is unable to come back like the last time?!" Pearl glared at her as if ordering her to not lose her temper, but Amethyst looked away angrily while crossing her arms. The purple quartz wasn't a fan of Lapis, and her opinion of the blue gem went to total disapproval after Steven told her about Lapis and Peridot's disagreement that ended up with the first one taking the barn to space while the second one was left sad and lonely.

Despite Lapis' sudden return to Earth and her saving them from Blue Diamond when she crashed Ruby and Sapphire's wedding, Amethyst was still wary with the ex terraformer.

"That incident is something between those two, Amethyst. If they've talked things through, fine, if not, it's up to them. We can't mix something from the past with what's happening now"

"Still, it's better if we spared her from more hurt feelings. We have lost too much thanks to Mrs. Revenge Noodle Gem who wanted to give Earth a piece of her mind"

"What we need right now is to plan the best way to deliver the news, Amethyst. We're her friends" Connie intervened after ordering her thoughts while still holding back the tears "Everyone here is in the same position as you because no one can be as close to Lapis like Peridot, Bismuth or Steven. Besides, what if she finds out about Lapis' demise on her own? It's not like it's impossible for someone to discover a gem or her remnants inside a bubble hidden in a secret place! I mean, Steven could find Bismuth and discover what happened to her, and Peridot is too smart for her own good!"

"That was luck. Pure luck and Lion was living with us. But anyway, what do YOU expect us to tell her? No matter if we are too careful or go straight to the point, nothing will save Peridot from the heartbreak!"

"She isn't the only one!!" Connie cried, anguished tears finally running down her cheeks "I. Was. There!! I was there when I saw Lapis' gemstone shatter. I-I-I was so goddamn close t-to... The fountain was in front of me, just some steps and she would be healed and safe... But... I wasn't fast enough. She broke into p-pieces in my own hands. I can still hear the crack, see myself trying to put her back together just to--"

Pearl immediately hugged her close to her chest and the girl cried, holding tight on the gem she considered a second mother.

For the veteran gem to see her apprentice falling apart like that, it tortured her mercilessly. No one had any idea of how to approach Peridot with the fact that the gem she was closest to died after both were defeated by Spinel. Connie was right that only Steven, Peridot and Bismuth -at some extent- were close to Lapis, and she and the blue gem had a rocky history between them concerning the mirror and Pearl storing her inside her gem without checking if the object was gem-powered or if a gem was imprisoned in it. However, that didn't stop her from being horrified and saddened by Lapis' shattering.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only concern. Spinel and her reasons to destroy Earth with them in it were the second priority which she didn't want anything to do with. Despite having defeated her, Pearl couldn't grasp in her mind -full of good and conflicting memories of Pink- how the deceased Diamond could have been so cruel, thoughtless and self-centered to abandon Spinel while deceiving her with a 'waiting game'. Advanced equations or building a robot were tasks Pearl could do easily; understanding Pink at all, that was another story.

And to make it worse, they have suffered because of another careless decision of her. Steven had to fix another mistake that even took one of his friends' life. She could get that Pink needed to grow up and prove herself to the Diamonds back then, that running a colony required too much time and work to spare in other activities or fun, that her interests and Spinel's were completely different, but just look at what her lack of guts has caused!

She could've left Spinel with the Peebles in her palace on Homeworld or tell her the truth kindly that they were growing apart, heck, put her in charge to take care of the garden with the aid of some gems. She could have done something better, anything!

But no!

Pink just played with Spinel's head and prayed at everyone's backs that this never 'bit her in the butt' as humans said. Technically, it didn't blow up in her face but it did with Steven's. Pearl just hoped her little boy could heal appropriately and not be burdened by more of his mother's screwups.

"I'm sorry" Connie and Amethyst glanced at the thin gem who lowered her head in shame "I know I didn't cause this mess, but... But if I had known Pink was going to left Spinel, if I had known the abandonment was going to break Spinel mentally, I would've tried to stop Pink or tell her to take another course of action. If I had acted, things would be different now. Again, I failed to change the future for the better"

"Come on, P! Don't be ridiculous!" Amethyst punched her in the arm, not to start a fight but because it was her way right now to give comfort "You can be annoying sometimes, but your heart is where your friends are! That's why you're thousands of times much better than Pink. You have grown, you changed, you're the best! But her? She cheated and lied to get her way! Sure, Rose, Pink, -whoever she was- played a part in saving the Earth and if it weren't for her, we wouldn't have Steven, but if it weren't for YOU, the Crystal Gems would've never existed. I mean, you were the one with the idea of pretending to be another gem, and that led to both of you to explore the planet, fight for it and then for the gems who wanted to be free, dude! Besides, YOU are part of the heart of the Crystal Gems, and then Garnet, and me, Steven, Greg, Lion, Connie, Peridot, Lapis, Bismuth, and the gems we healed from corruption and live in Little Homeworld, but not Pink. She may have tried, but she didn't try enough. Not like you, Pearl. So, stop that bullshit about feeling guilty for someone else's mistake!"

"She's right, Pearl. You've done so many great things, heck, you're like a second mother to me. Besides, don't take offense of this, but even if you'd tried to convince Pink to talk with Spinel or to leave her in Homeworld where she would be with other gems, I doubt Steven's mom had listened. She didn’t stop to consider the consequences of faking her shattering after all" Connie rubbed at her teary eyes, her face becoming more serious "I don't know what to feel anymore, but that doesn't mean we have to fight each other like moments ago. Peridot will need us more than ever when she knows about Lapis. We have to tell her the truth and give her our support. And even if we'll never have the chance to get to know Lapis better, at least we will pay her our respects while taking care of Peridot. It's what she had wanted us to do. It's the right thing to do. For Lapis, for Peridot and especially for Steven"

"Yeah, you know, even when I never liked her that much, even less when P-Dot was all alone after she left, I could see how much those two were meant for each other. Sure, maybe I can't see it that well because I'm more defensive on Peridot's side, she's my friend after all, but I know there was something more than a closeness between them. But once Peridot wakes up, it'll be gone"

"And that's where Spinel didn't have luck enough to heal" Pearl explained though the others didn't get it at first "Peridot has all of us. Spinel only had Pink, but when she abandoned her, there was no one she could turn to for comfort and hope. Losing Lapis in this way, I can't imagine the devastation in Peridot's face, but at least she won't be alone. So, no matter how we approach her with the news, we'll never leave her side"

Amethyst and Connie nodded determinedly and joined hands with Pearl in silent camaraderie and solidarity.

The sound of the warp pad being used startled them, Garnet's silhouette visible despite the blinding light, then the stoic gem got out of the warp pad, a scowl on her face. Pearl gulped a bit and separated from the other two to talk with her comrade despite the nervousness "Glad you're ok, Garnet... How'd it go?" She asked, her voice almost shaking.

"Really. Exhausting" she hissed, her teeth were gritted strongly, barely containing the urges to punch something or yell. Whenever there was too much frustration to deal with, Ruby made herself noticeable via angry growls and tense seriousness. The fusion massaged her temples to alleviate herself from the high-level stress and exhale a big sigh "We have 5 minutes before Peridot reforms so, I'll be quick. Spinel's new prison in Homeworld will take some preparations, the Diamonds are still in disbelief about what had happened to her and what she'd done, but they at least understood that Spinel is a huge danger to Steven as long as she is free so they'll take care of her while she's still in the bubble until the prison is finished"

"Wait a second, some preparations?" Pearl was the first talking before the others intervened, "What do you mean by that? Garnet, it has been two weeks since the attack and people are still paranoid about another gem wanting to destroy the planet. I know this is going too far but Spinel is seriously obsessed with her senseless revenge, she needs to be shattered"

"But what about Steven?" Connie asked concerned. Shattering was a quick option that could save them from more work, but her best friend would never agree "Are we going to lie to him if he wants to know what we did with Spinel? Even if she deserves that punishment, he will be against that idea"

"Yeah! 'Sides if the Diamonds think they can replace Pink with Spinel and keep her in check by putting her on a royal pedestal then screw them! They'll make it worse and Spinel might escape and try to kill us again!"

The discussion went on and on, too caught up in finding out what to do with the Diamonds' sudden affection towards the homicidal gem and the repercussions of telling Peridot about Lapis' demise that they didn't notice Peridot's reformation until Lion growled at them.

"Shit! She's coming back!" The four Crystal Gems saw her comrade's light projection getting out of the gemstone and then the little gem plopped on the ground, dizzy and confused.

"Ugh... My head... What happened?"

Suddenly, she was engulfed in a bear hug by Connie and Amethyst while Pearl and Garnet watched from behind. Peridot's appearance had changed: her visor now had the shape of the upper body of the star; she was wearing a mix of boots and sandals, both brown with some golden lines decorating them and a jacket of three tones of green with the Crystal Gem's symbol emblazoned in the middle of it; her hair didn't have her classic triangular style anymore but a star style, complementing with the visor.

"Wow, dude, you look awesome!" Amethyst's compliment broke her train of thought. With a single look at herself, Peridot gasped amazed at her new appearance modifiers "That's what I am talking about! This is how I, the unbeatable ruler of the skies Peridot, should look in front of her enemies!... Still, Ummm, guys do you know what happened? Because there is only one way I could change my appearance and that is by being poofed"

Her friends' joy for having her back was quickly replaced by uncertainty and concern. Before she could ask what was wrong Connie was the first one speaking "Peridot, what's the last thing you remember?"

"What do you mean? Wait... Are you implying I was poofed during a mission or an accident and brought here?"

Pearl looked at Garnet as if asking her if her future vision had some plan B to help the little gem to recover her memories. The fusion decided to take action and approached her comrade whose face had turned into a pensive frown while searching in her confused mind.

"It seems that what she had done to you have shocked you to the point of not recalling anything" Peridot glanced at Garnet and when she opened her mouth, the taller gem stopped her raising a hand to explain herself "You mentioned your suspicions of being poofed during a mission. They were right, you indeed were poofed while protecting Beach City from a gem. Peridot, does the name Spinel sound familiar to you?"

The former technician pronounced that name silently, the core of her gemstone was tingling with the sole mention of Spinel. However, her mental repertoire was useless in giving her the information she wanted. Images ran through her mind with such velocity it was difficult to process what they meant and the collage of sounds and voices didn't seem to have an end.

Then a headache. Oh how loving! Now she had to deal with that!

"Peridot... Can't you remember anything?" Connie's tone of voice was a mix of concerned and pleading, but right now it grated her nerves. Since when human children sounded so annoying?!

"Shhhhh! I'm trying to concentrate!" Peridot hissed. Closing her eyes, she delved in the deepness of her memories just to find... Nothing. A complete mess.

"Ugh! This is useless! I kind of have the answers at the tip of my tongue but they don't come any closer!"

Putting a hand on her shoulder, Pearl stopped the distressed Crystal Gem before she got more frustrated "It's alright, Peridot. Maybe we can find another way to revive your memories without you fainting for the exhaustion"

"More like going insane for the headache" the little gem mumbled angrily.

"But, anyway, Garnet, you said a Spinel attacked Beach City right? I have read about that kind of gem: they're jesters, entertainers. Not warriors or weapon-experts gems. So, why one would want to invade Earth?"

"It was for very personal reasons" Pearl intervened, shame and anger painted on her facial features.

Peridot started formulating many theories around that. What kind of personal reason would a Spinel have to attack them? Was it because of the new statu quo of Era 3? That might be, after all, now with the Diamonds out of leadership and all the gems being freed, there was more space for new purposes, but that also meant that many gems would feel lost and angry for their sole job to be questioned and for some of them to get revenge at the responsible for those changes. Wait! If that was true, that means Steven was the target and he wasn't in the Beach House. Where was he?!

"Where is Steven?" that question surprised the rest of the group, and strangely enough, she perceived some relief in their eyes but didn't have time to ponder about the source of their reaction "Where is he? Is he ok?"

"Hospital" Garnet's response got her attention though not in the way she wanted "He is recovering at the hospital. Let's go, he needs to see you"

"Garnet, wait, our only way to get there is by Lion and hospitals don't allow any animals much less magical ones!" The fusion went to the wireless phone, grabbed it and gave it to Pearl "Call Greg, tell him we're coming to visit with Peridot now reformed. Ask him if there are humans in Steven's room so we can be prepared to go when they're gone."

The veteran gem nodded and dialed to him.

The former technician was left observing everyone's behavior, even feeling a subject of it. Pearl's voice was trembling, her posture rigid but with some freaking-out urges escaping from the seams. Garnet was at her side, the stoic manifestation of leadership though more bitter and somber than any time she had seen her like that. Meanwhile, Connie and Amethyst were looking at her and at each other conspicuously. If there was something she disliked was to be left in the dark. It was much better when data was delivered to her so she could make a plan or get to a conclusion, but Connie and Amethyst weren't helping which irritated a bit. And every time she glanced at her friends, the girl and the quartz looked away as if not knowing how to talk to her. Did they know something Peridot should remember or being informed about but didn't have the guts to tell her? The most concerning thing was Connie's eyes, they were so puffy and red, it must have been related to Steven's condition which worried her more because if the girl had cried that much it meant Steven's life was in peril.

Then an alarming realization crossed her mind, "What happened to that Spinel? Is she still free wreaking havoc?"

Amethyst tensed slightly at the mention of her name, that wasn’t a good signal. "Poofed and bubbled, dude" the quartz said, Peridot sighed internally. So there was no danger or enemy ready to kill Steven. That was good.

"You can't still remember what happened to you?" Peridot tried again, but her mind was as uncooperative as ever.

"Nothing. Ugh! This is such a mess. A Spinel with a vengeful agenda against Steven, him in the hospital, my memories too disorganized and fragmented to make sense, all of you acting so weird around me"

"We're not" Peridot raised an eyebrow not buying that. "Really? You two are sending secret messages by looking at each other and then you glance at me with a sort of pity which I don't like. At all"

"We're just worried about you. You were in a coma for 2 weeks"

TWO WEEKS?!! Was she kidding her?!

Connie froze, Amethyst glared at her for letting that bit of info escape from her mouth, but it didn't matter now that Peridot was digging harder than ever every corner of her mind something to put the images and sounds together so she could remember what happened to her exactly. Protecting Beach City from a revenge-thirst Spinel who tried to kill Steven wasn't context enough for her. A little voice told her that her friends knew more but couldn't explain or were afraid or...

Ugh! Whatever, she needed to know!

However, just when the green mechanic was going to demand answers, Pearl interrupted "Time to go. There are no nurses in Steven's room, so we can use Lion to warp there"

Amethyst shapeshifted into a little monkey, holding onto Pearl's shoulders; Garnet sat on Lion's back after Connie and Pearl, whose appearance was weird with a primate-sized Amethyst on her. "Peridot, time to go" Garnet commanded. The green gem fulfilled the order numbly, her mind too full of many questions and few answers to process correctly what was happening in those moments.

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Hospitals were now the bane of existence for Greg. Before he never thought of them unless his son's health was in peril whether for a serious illness or severe injuries and with the dangerous lifestyle Steven had because of his mother's actions, the concerns just grew stronger, despite having the Crystal Gems as Steven's best defense.

Then, with Greg's unhealthy eating habits like hotdogs, donuts and anything with too much sugar or fats, the urgency of going to a hospital became a priority, especially after almost having a heart attack during a family barbecue.

"Dude, even a heavy eater like me knows that too many burgers and other carbo stuff can be the death of you" Amethyst commented when she caught him fighting to breathe and clutching his chest as if it were going to explode.

The purple quartz looked scared, sounded scared, though she tried to lessen the tension in the air with her joke-y tone. Greg asked to not tell this to Steven because that would ruin the fun for him, Amethyst was against that idea but complied with the condition that Greg took better care of himself, that meant fewer snacks and more exercise.

It was a fair deal so he tried hard.

However, now he felt that temptation was going to overtake. The stress and fear were so dense that maybe a snack or two might alleviate those feelings, but Greg refused. His son's condition was more important which just increased his distaste for hospitals.

He couldn't believe this mess was hitting them again, hitting Steven of all people, again!

They should've been rid of Rose's mistakes already, but it seemed that her series of wrongdoings got larger and more infuriating by the second.

He could understand the need to lie and keep secrets because, hey!, he even kept some like his real name, but for Rose to deceive Spinel into playing a 'waiting game' just for her to not deal with the fact of telling the other the truth of them growing apart, and for that to blow up in Steven's face when Spinel found out Rose abandoned her...

It was nauseating. He didn't have the heart to act in that way, though why delving in the past when Rose wasn't there to defend herself or receiving a piece of everyone's mind for putting them, especially Steven, through another hell of her problems.

The more he thought about it, the more he wondered if he really knew his lover.

"I barely know you"

"That's a good thing"

What did Rose mean by that? That she even was aware all her progress and growth were insignificant compared to the cost and it was better being all ignorant about it? Or that thinking of her as a perfect person was the best option despite the obvious consequences of the festering secrets and wounds?

Anyway, that didn't change the outcome: Steven got hurt and had to fix this as any other problem Rose caused.

Just recalling the agonizing pain his son had gone through when he was told one of his friends, Lapis Lazuli, was shattered by Spinel during her revenge tore his heart apart. The anguished weeping, the shaking body, the horrified eyes, it was like seeing another person, no, the embodiment of sorrow taking over Steven.

Greg shook his head, trying to rid of those horrible images and just focus on being there for his boy. The teenager was sleeping a bit easier now that he had been informed Peridot was ok, although the many machines hooked to him make Greg believe his son has a terminal illness.

However, there was no time to grimace at that prospect because suddenly, a warp portal appeared in the middle of the hospital room and Lion got out. In its back were Garnet, Pearl, a monkey-sized Amethyst holding the pale gem's shoulders, Connie and Peridot.

The Pink beast flopped on the floor, exhausted. Steven opened his eyes slowly due to the noise and his eyes sparkled after seeing the green gem. "Peridot! You're alive!"

The former technician was shocked at Steven's appearance. The once confident and strong savior of the universe had terribly pale skin, huge bags decorated his eyes who were a bit red and puffy, many machines were connected to his body and his voice sounded so small and weak. Was this person really Steven?

"Steven, what on stars happened to you?!" Garnet shushed her for talking too loud, Peridot ignored the fusion and ran to be on her friend's side. Connie was the second, being on the right side of Steven's bed, hugging him tightly just to make sure he wouldn't disappear.

"I'm glad you're ok, Peri" For some reason Peridot couldn't explain, the nickname gave her a familiar sensation though she felt it came from someone else "I was so worried about you. I thought you'd never wake up"

"Me being in a coma doesn't matter as much as your condition, Steven! What happened? I mean, the only things the others have told me is that a vengeful Spinel attacked Beach City, I was there protecting it and she poofed me"

"...They didn't tell you?" Steven's eyes directed to the rest of the group with a secret message 'Why you haven't told her?'. Garnet decided to take action before the tension got worse "She still can't remember what happened. But we will show her the proofs and deliver the news"

"News about what?" Everyone except Peridot grimaced or winced at that question. The little gem didn't like the prospect of her friends lying to her or leaving her in the shadows as if she couldn't take some bad news "Come on, guys! This isn't fair! Now Steven is acting weird, there are still details I want to know about Spinel's attack and to top it all, there is bad news which you don't want to tell me! Wait, is it Little Homeworld, isn't it? Is everyone there ok? Are Bismuth and Laz alright?"

"We'll show you, Peridot" Pearl's voice could barely contain the grief "For now, don't push it too much. Your mind needs to be well-rested if you want to process everything that is to come"

The mechanic wasn't satisfied with that response. It sounded like Pearl was pitying her, but if it took patience to get to the bottom of this, then it would have to be whether she liked it or not.

During the 15 minutes of the visit, it was hinted many things concerning Spinel and how Beach City was dealing with all the damage inflicted by her. Sometimes, Steven let a bit of information escape on purpose to help Peridot's memories to resurface just for the little gem to still find her mind a collage-like mess which just left her confused and frustrated.

"You guys should go to Mask Island" Steven suggested, everyone tensed up at that option while Peridot wondered what the island had to do with Spinel and Beach City in ruins. Unless the destructive gem was bubbled and put there so no one has to be burdened by what she had done, but no, it wasn't possible. They had the Temple for storing bubbled gems after all.

"Dude, are you sure about this?" Amethyst hated to admit it but showing Peridot the remnants of her and Lapis' battle against Spinel didn't sound like the best idea. What if it didn't work? What if it was too much and Peridot fell apart on herself?

"You have to. Peridot," the look on Steven's eyes unnerved every immaterial inside of her hard-light body. Whatever it is that happened was serious, at least concerning to her due to how everyone was behaving "I'm so sorry"

Sorry... Sorry for what?

"I don't like the course of this conversation" Both Garnet and Pearl lowered her heads somberly. Connie and Amethyst led Peridot to where Lion was resting so they could come back to the Beach House, not without wishing Steven a good recovery and bid Greg farewell. The group returned to the house, the silence a heavy layer of apprehension and sadness. Before using the warp pad Garnet wanted to check if Peridot's memories were still too fragmented to make sense of them "Peridot, try to remember what was the last thing you heard, felt or saw. Don't push yourself though. Just pick what you think you can understand". The green engineer inhaled and exhaled then closed her eyes and dug deeper than ever. Then freeze frames popped out of nowhere, though they looked pixelated to the point of being unrecognizable. The voices inside her head weren't as overwhelming as before, but now they sounded fragmented and too far away for her to understand what they were talking about. However, Peridot was able to number the people who were speaking. There were Connie, Bismuth, Lapis, herself, but there was also a high-pitched, cruel stranger. Wait, was that Spinel?

"It's still confusing but not so much. It seems that I can recognize some voices, maybe they are part of my memories. Connie, Bismuth, Lapis, even me. There is another one but I don't know her. It must be Spinel"

Garnet's stoic face didn't show any emotion, or that is what Peridot believed. There was a tension barely visible in the fusion's posture as if she was trying to keep herself together. It was pretty worrying, but the green gem didn't have time to ask if Garnet was alright because the fusion spoke "It seems your memories from the time Spinel attacked are coming back, though slowly. I know where to start but I want you to know, Peridot, that if it's too overwhelming for you, we can postpone this until you feel better"

Annoyance and irritation sparked in Peridot's gemstone for a while. She appreciated her friends caring about her and being thoughtful about whatever they were going to tell her, but she was starting to feel pitied by them. As if the former technician didn't have what it takes to face the truths they knew.

#Peridot #Crystal Gems #Greg #Steven Universe #Steven Universe: The Movie #Dark #Angst #Tragedy #connie maheswaran

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