Christ. Our BFF ZYX gets to punch WWX and also gets to fuck off to somewhere else and instead of a good time it's a motherfucking business conference where instead of learning shit you have to pander to your CEO? and they didn't even get to enjoy the punch. Even Xania-hellscape has to have SOME good parts, lord. This is terrible. Give Yuxun hot cocoa, a blanket, and a panic room.

unfortunately zyx lives in a Society, and the only good parts of this society is the lack of student loans, very dodge-able taxes, and magic sword fighting. chocolate is not in asia yet (let's ignore the chili thing yeah? yeah. that's not my sin, soooo) and panic room = seclusion in a cave

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they couldn't even punch wwx, let alone have something to enjoy

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they'll get some stuff to use as coping mechanisms next ch. is it better? eh. but a salad will be involved, and nothing cleanses like a nice, simply dressed, vegetable going cronch.

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in seriousness, all these things are related. here, we see zyx in compute-error mode, where their mind wants one thing (maybe?) and their habits and survival mindset isn't letting them have it.

another is the implicit discussion on obligation, and what that means to me (aka zyx, and other people of in-between cultures). it might seem... nonsensical how zyx basically makes life difficult for themself, like "motherfucker you have two legs and a sword and you don't need to eat, just walk away?!?"

it's weird, growing up between an individualistic culture and collective one. to an extreme, neither are good. one thing that i can honestly admit that stunted me (and as a result, zyx is clearly Demonstrating) is the fear/inability to ask for help or that they can't do a thing, or negotiate obligations. obligations aren't bad--in like, how you can reasonably expect people will give you right of way on the street, or you should be respectful in public spaces, parents should care for their kids, etc etc--it helps people coexist. however, in a collectivist culture, in one with as high-context of a language as chinese, directly negotiating what obligations you can or want to handle (even if that negotiation will net benefits for everyone) is like if someone peed in your coffee at the coffee shop. you'd be baffled because "did that really happen?" "i don't have the operating procedures for this edge case of a social interaction, of which this barely qualifies"

what makes it more frustrating, to both the reader and myself (and if it's frustrating, then good i'm conveying it), is that zyx clearly has the vocabulary to identify their problem. (contrast with jzx, in which there was a throwaway line in earlier chs + his current frustrations where he doesn't have that vocab, doesn't understand, and gets even more frustrated because it feels like everything is wrong but no one notices.) but what can't be completely done is me showing you guys how disjoint that vocabulary is in both of zyx's 'native' languages. one set of vocabulary developed with one type of interaction and culture, and the other with another type. and they don't have the excuse of childhood bluntness and naivete to allow them to bulldoze through social interactions because that's the whole everything of them being an adult and hyper-cognizant of how they don't belong, needing to navigate carefully rather than other flavors of SIs/OCs that are teens and kids and really do act like that.

things matter, in a very specific way, to zyx and that's why given where they are in this life, it's never gonna be a stress-free fun time.

... unless they become sect leader in the future after things are truly peaceful (for this generation, at least)

then they can justify telling people, "this one is taking paid leave" ✌

"... huzi we don't get paid?"