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shari-berri · 4 years

Text

Rapidash crackfic

Warning : Language

Your POV

I hopped on my trusty steed and boyfriend Rapidash who I call Dashy (it autocorrected to daddy...let's not go there...). We were off to go see my good friend Mia.

We were riding along the path at a gallop when suddenly out of the trees a young boy wearing a pine tree hat and a girl wearing a sweater with a shooting star appeared to be running from something. I awkwardly locked eyes with them and said the first thing that came to mind...

"New human who dis?"

They just laughed and asked to pet Dashy. I, obviously, denied and told them he was my boyfriend and they weren't allowed to touch him.

They looked at me like I was crazy and that wasn't going to stand.

"Dashy shift into the boy I love so much so they can't ridicule me any longer!" I bellowed.

Dashy nodded his head and did as he was told, turning into the most handsome man ever.

"Told you he was my boyfriend ya little brats! What right do you have to be calling me unclean!(Grell!) So suck a dick you little fucks! Anyways, my name is y/n and this is my pokemon Rapidash or as I like to call him, my boyfriend Dashy.

"Ummm okay...we are the Pines twins. I am Dipper and this is Mabel." The boy wearing the blue tree hat said.

"Umm what were you guys running from cause I hear bushes making bushy sounds not but 10 feet away." I asked.

Just then, a flying dorito came rushing at the twins yelling curses all the way.

"You meatsacks! You can't do anything right! I asked you to make me a ring that Ciel would be proud of and you gave me a ring that fucking Lizzy designed, Lizzy!" Dorito man exlaimed loudly.

At this point Dashy and I were looking back and forth at each other, completely confused. We just nodded at each other and I pulled out a chainsaw death scythe I "borrowed" from my best friend.

"All of you better shut up or you're getting cut!" I yelled starting up the death scythe.

This caught their attention immediately, thank god for that. Now that they were quiet though, I had no need for the death scythe so I chucked it as far as possible into the distance, almost missing seeing the red haired reaper dive for it, only to be dragged away by William T. Spears.

At this point we were all staring at each other in awkward silence. Not for long though, as the universe had different plans. Out of nowhere, a small man with an undercut came flying over the trees into our little circle on a mop holding Windex. He kept chanting about us being unclean and started spraying us all with the Windex and stroking us with his mop.

This day couldn't have gotten weirder, but it did.

"Dashy!" I called.

"Yes, my lord (reference)?" Dashy responded.

"Fetch me my pimp cane so I can smack a bitch!"

"Right away, my lord." And with that, Dashy vanished for a split second, only to return with a diamond studded cane.

Standing tall and proud, I went into the middle of the circle and spun around with my eyes closed. When I stopped I pointed to the person in front of me and hit that bitch with my pimp cane as hard as I could on the head.

That happened to be the mystery cleaning man and he started cussing at us calling us all brats and to respect elders or whatever shit he was yelling. I wasn't paying attention to him, I was more worried about the horse drawn carriage arriving to us.

The carriage stopped and the driver opened the door, helping a young boy with an eyepatch out of it and bowing.

"Y/n!" The boy yelled.

"Ugh what is it?" I answered in a bored tone.

"Did you take my pimp cane and smack a bitch?!" Eyepatch asked.

"How did you know?" I prompted.

"Hmph, I am your brother, I can sense these things." Ciel my prissy brother said with a glare.

"Okay, off you pop!" I sang, shoving Pissy Pants Phantomhive back into the carriage along with Sebastian and pimp cane smacking them all the way back to the manor which we called home.

Jaws everywhere dropped in shock.

"I drank bleach and pickle juice earlier." I stated with a deadpan.

"Wut?" Was their reaction.

"Dashy! Let me ride you!" I commanded.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

"Yes my lord." He said.

My lovely boyfriend shifted back and together we rode off into the sunset, confusing the fuck out of everyone and passing a red haired reaper getting dragged by the hair by a very annoyed William.

"Farewell my loves!" I screamed, pulling a megaphone out of my ass.

The end...

Don't drink bleach...

#pokemonxreader #pokemon #crack #crackfic #imagine #oneshot #xreader #readerinsert #blackbutler

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