#carlyraejcpsen
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ok imm sorry but the “ i only have eyes for you. ” meme is so elogan coded 👀
@carlyraejcpsen
send in “ i only have eyes for you. “ for five times where the sender was caught staring in admiration/affection at the receiver, by the receiver. ( scenarios can vary! examples include: the receiver delivering a fierce passionate speech to encourage people to do something, the receiver walking into a room while dressed glamorously, the receiver walking into a room while dressed NOT glamorously, literally ANYTHING! )
int. tattoo shop; afternoon
Of all the habits Ella had formed over her years, the hardest to shake was the need to be busy. It seemed ,to her, despite what her friends often said, that there was no harm in wanting to be busy. That it was good, in fact, to want to be productive. She understood that they were trying to help, but she also couldn't sit idly by. That ability had passed her by.
So while she waited for Logan to finish up his appointment, she had to find something to do. It wouldn't do for her to offer help. And Beyonce, the cat, was perfectly content to nap in the window. So what was she to do? Well, for starter, she tidied, putting all the magazines left out in a pretty little display. She found the glass cleaner and wiped down the display case where they sold earrings. And then, having helped herself to the supply closet, she swept. None of it was necessary--Logan and his fellow artists kept a perfectly nice, clean shop--but she liked the act of it all. And she liked to think that, in exchange for seeing her so late, Ella could save him some time at closing.
The trouble was that he kept a tidy shop, in fact. Ella ran out of things to do rather quickly. She would have to sit back down. Perhaps read one of the magazines she'd set up so nicely. There was one that said it had recipes for watermelon, so she was just about to do that when there was a movement in the corner of her eye. She made an involuntary sound, covering her mouth immediately so it didn't sound like a scream.
Logan laughed, pushing himself up off the wall to approach her. "You okay there?"
Ella put her hand on her heart. "Yes, sorry. You startled me. How long were you there?"
"Did you realize you were singing?" he asked. That wasn't an answer to her question, but even more than that, it surprised her. She frowned--had she been singing?
"No." A hot blush rose on her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. Did I dist--"
"You don't have to apologize. It was--it reminded me of before."
She forced herself to hold his gaze. Logan had always had such sharp eyes; Ella couldn't help but feel nervous under them. "I'm glad, then" she said.
ii. ext. high line park; sunset
There was something magical about being out late on a summer evening. The sun set slowly and left the sky twinged gold for a long time. Ella always felt extra warm and glowing at that hour. But today, she was especially enchanted.
Ella hadn't known where Logan was taking her; only that he'd said it would be outside. The park was stunning: a long, raised, paved trail with native plants along each side. From different spots, she could see out over the city. She could watch the water over the Hudson river. Everywhere she stopped, there was something magical to see.
She stopped at one of the little outcroppings and leaned against the rail. The sun left a trail of golden light over the water, and if she looked hard, she could see the outline of boats out towards New Jersey. "Wow," she gasped, stepping back to turn her attention back to Logan. "It's so beautiful."
When her eyes met Logan's, there was an intensity to them that threw her off-balance. He looked like he was looking through her, trying to find something. Despite wanting to thank him, Ella couldn't hold that gaze; she turned away to look back out over the park. "Sorry," he said softly. "I was just..." He didn't finish the sentence.
Ella turned back to him. Logan looked like his usual self--this new usual self that she was still getting used to, a little warier, a little less silly. A little more handsome than she remembered. Her cheeks warmed at that. She hoped he assumed it was about the park. "No, it's fine, I'm sorry," she answered, more as a reflex than anything else. "I--I just wanted to thank you for bringing me here."
"Yeah," he said, looking away this time. "It's pretty great, huh?"
iii. ext. apartment; morning
Ella hadn't dressed up for Logan to come over. No, that would be silly. But she was wearing her favorite dress because today was a good day and when she woke up, she felt drawn to it. No matter how her roommate had teased her, said that Logan would enjoy seeing her in this color, Ella brushed it off. He wasn't--he wouldn't--it wasn't like that. Even if sometimes she thought about it being like that, those were just the kinds of thoughts that were normal to have about so old a friend. Surely, that was it.
Still, when she noticed him waiting on the stoop of her building, she found it was hard to look him in the eye. Ella had always had a hard time with that; she was more shy than she expected to be. Instead, she froze, half-way down the steps. Rather than meet his gaze, she dug her phone out of her bag and reviewed their plans for the day. Museum tickets? Check. Lunch spot? Picked out. Her drawings? Yes, she had them, even if she was nervous to share them.
Once she'd looked over everything, and couldn't think of any other reason to delay, and didn't want to make him late, she turned up, immediately caught in his gaze. He'd been watching, which she'd suspected from the way she'd felt eyes on her. Ella straightened, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and wishing maybe she had dressed up for him, so that she would be worth looking at.
"You look great," Logan said, as if he'd read her thoughts.
Her stomach dropped-oh, god, had she said any of that out loud? "Oh, I...thank you. Her voice was uneasy. Would it be weird if she asked if she'd spoken aloud?
If he was reading her mind, he was doing a very good job of it, by the way he laughed, offering her his hand like he was going to escort her down the steps. "I don't mean to be weird, but I wanted you to know why I was staring. You look great, is all."
Ella took his hand. She took the last few steps and, when she got to the sidewalk, she turned up to look at him. He wasn't joking or teasing her--not that he would joke about something like that--just sincerely, openly staring. "You--" She hated how nervous her voice came out. This wasn't like that and she wished her roommate hadn't said anything because now the idea was in her head. She cleared her throat and smiled. Ella was good at putting on a smile. "You look quite handsome, yourself." This time, she sounded more normal, thankfully. More like herself. "That color is nice on you."
Logan ducked his head. Like her, he was better at giving a compliment than taking one. At least that had stayed the same between them. "Shall we?"
"Yes."
iv. int. animal shelter; evening
After all the food was gone, after all the guests had left and the lucky dogs adopted off, there was just this: the remaining trash on the floor, and the donation box to be counted up. Several other volunteers had offered to handle the trash, and left Ella and Logan with the lock boxes. Once she'd offered--five or six times--for him to go home, she gave in and accepted his offer to help. It was late, and everyone was exhausted, her included. If he helped, maybe they could all get home a little faster.
They'd divided the bills up, so it was just a matter of counting and tallying. Ella had worked a dozen jobs where she opened and closed; she could make quick work of this. And, as far as she knew, Logan could too. But when she glanced up from her count, Logan still had his pile in his hand. His eyes seemed fixed on her hands, focus entirely on her.
He seemed surprised when she made a sound. His eyes slid up, from her hands to her face. There they settled, a warm, soft gaze holding onto her. "Did, uh, did I do something wrong? Or make a mistake?" she asked.
"No," Logan said immediately. And then, chagrined, "I don't think so. I wasn't listening." Ella smiled, writing her tally down before putting her hand out. Logan shook his head and, with one last flick of his eyes, began his own count.
While he worked, Ella watched him. The smooth movement of his hands, the sound of him counting under his breath. The way his eyes flicked up to catch hers every few minutes. It was fascinating. She wondered if, perhaps, this was what distracted him in the first place.
v. ext. restaurant; evening
Once she'd gotten used to the idea, dating had not been so hard for her. She was naturally social, and she liked going out. She'd tried speed dating, tried tinder, tried all sorts of options, and all of them had felt effortless. Ella was good enough at that sort of thing that she'd never had a bad date, but she'd never gotten the hang of flirting. She said precisely what she thought, and in precisely the simple way that she thought them. She had no skill for pretty words.
Logan, on the other hand? Well, he just couldn't seem to help himself. He made it seem so easy, with his casual words and his playful looks and his laugh that rumbled through her entire body. Ella felt like should barely keep up with him. Her cheeks hurt from laughing and blushing. She felt giddy and light, tipsy off of the easy conversation and smiles.
By the time they left, the sun had fully set, and the sky was crisp. There weren't many visible stars--Ella was still getting used to that--but the lights from the skyscrapers never failed to dazzle her in their own way. Ella wasn't much for technology. If she wanted to mark this moment, she would need to do it on memory. So she did. She took everything in--the lights, the sky, the sounds from the restaurant, the full feeling, and, of course, Logan--and then she closed her eyes. With them closed, she did her best to memorize what she'd seen and heard and felt, so that if she wanted it, she could pull it back up and relive how she felt in this moment.
When her eyes finally relaxed and opened, they found Logan staring at her with a particularly amused smile. Ella smiled back instinctively. This time, she didn't have to ask what he was staring at. He offered the answer on his own. "I can't believe you're here with me," he said, like she had given him some wonderful gift.
That was silly, of course. He had taken her out on a date--a perfect one, at that. All she'd done was try and keep up. But she kept her smile anyway, and slid her hands into his, squeezing tight. As though she could convince him of that fact through grip strength alone. "I can't imagine anything better," she told him, hoping that covered what her hands could not. He laughed, and dropped one hand so he could hold the other while they walked toward the park.
#answered#carlyraejcpsen#this was long i apologize#it's cute tho! or i think it is#otp: elogan#ch: ella#o: logan#does cassy like endings? no she does not#also if any of htis is wrong lemme know and i'll rewrite
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🍓 👉🏻👈🏻
oh god where do i even start?!
em, i really admire your ability to make connections with people, and to find people. idk if you are an extrovert (and tbh i don't really believe in introvert/extrovert binaries) but you are so good at building friendships and finding people to click with. it's really amazing
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“ you want to kiss me, don’t you? “ - princely bros / “ you have no idea how much i love you, do you? " - elogan / “ tell me it isn’t true. “ “ i can’t. “ mars x arin
“ you want to kiss me, don’t you? “ - princely bros
There were times when Fredrick suspected telling Eric of his feelings had been a mistake.
Well, no
That was a misleading statement. See, it implied that there were times when Fredrick didn't suspect that telling Eric of his feelings had been a mistake. Fredrick suspected telling Eric of his feelings was a mistake at all times. And, really, it wasn't a suspicion. It was knowledge. To start over:
Fredrick knew, at all times, that telling Eric of his feelings had been a mistake.
Of course, at the time, his reasoning had made some sense. First of all, it was best to enter into a living arrangement with an honest foundation. Lying would get them nowhere. Second of all, he'd been rather clear on this front: I have developed feelings for you, but I have no intention of acting on them was more or less what he'd said. Kissing would be acting, and he'd already declared his intention to abstain from doing so. Third, and perhaps most important of all, they hadn't really intended on saying it. He'd gone through rationalizing telling Eric and rationalizing bottling it up because it was supposed to be fleeting and pass eventually, but ultimately, they simply said what they were feeling because they was bad at keeping feelings inside him.
And there was not even a blissful second after the words were out of his mouth where he considered that it might not have been a mistake. He knew, from that first moment, it was a mistake.
It hadn't really been awkward--Eric had handled it with precisely the aplomb that had factored into said feelings--but it was the ease with which he accepted it and changed nothing that challenged Fredrick. It would be easier to fall out of love with someone who wanted you to be out of love with them, wouldn't it? The trouble with Eric is that he didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, such as, for example, oh, say, now, he seemed to enjoy it. Relish in it. Asshole.
"I--what?" Fredrick tried to muster some indignation at the question. It wasn't precisely successful. Eric, blithely, repeated the question. Unfortunately, hearing it a second time did nothing to facilitate answering it. "What...does that have anything to do with this?" Fredrick finished lamely.
Eric stared back at them in that way he sometimes did. That peculiar way that made it hard to guess at his thoughts. Fredrick didn't try. "You don't know?"
His surprise left Fredrick uneasy. After all, he had a point. It was rare enough for Fredrick not to know something. "No, should I?" Again, a statement that was followed with immediate regrets. "You know what? Never mind. I rescind the question. I need to study and this has been an odd night, so I'm going to--" They gathered their books and swept away, grasping at any port in a storm of frustrated emotions.
“ you have no idea how much i love you, do you? " - elogan
Normally, Ella would've laughed off such words. Of course she knew she was loved. She'd always considered herself rather fortunate in that regard. And typically, Logan would mean it jokingly, an affectionate way of saying thank you for some favor or little kindness. Ella had long since acclimated to the way people used I love you to mean thank you. But something about this was different.
Perhaps it was the tone. Logan didn't sound like he was joking. His eyes were light, but they didn't have that playful twinkle she remembered so fondly from Boston. He rarely did, these days, but certainly not now. And there was weight to his voice. Intent. It didn't leave her with the impression of a light little thanks. Perhaps, too, it was the phrasing. I love you, she was used to. But the do you? made it seem--well, it didn't seem joking.
Instead of laughing, then, Ella turned to give Logan her full attention, rather than the half she'd split between him and the cash register she was helping him with. She set the money down, keeping her eyes level on his. "Logan," she began. "I love you too." There were so many other things she could say. She almost did. Ella knew how easy it was to open her mouth and just let everything tumble out--about how she'd thought of him, every now and then, in the years he'd been gone; about how she'd wondered, even before that, a vague, ineffable what if; about how she'd thought of him lately, here now and in her life, this beautiful, perfect person. "I--goodness," She laughed, then, because a laugh was something she could say, without letting all those other pieces out. She'd gotten better at that, at keeping some things close to her chest.
When she looked back up, though, he still had that unwavering stare. Eyes bright, but not teasing. Ella's stomach flipped. It felt like air was being pulled from her lungs. It's not what you think. It's just Logan. He's not--he doesn't--She'd already had this conversation with herself more times than she cared to admit. "You're sweet," she told him. "But you don't have to say anything. You know I'd help out anyway. I like to stay busy, and all that." She swallowed, and he finally looked away, and the tension she was feeling broke. She picked back up the cash, the movements quick and practiced. "I think you're at $4,000 here so far. Do you want me to keep counting?"
“ tell me it isn’t true. “ “ i can’t. “ mars x arin
It wasn't as though Arin wanted feelings. Not with anyone. Not for anyone. Not from anyone. They weren't exactly happy with their little life with Sasha, but they were something. It was something. And dating, feelings, all that--they couldn't help but feel like they would be playing with fire, letting too much of that come into their otherwise not-so-bad situation.
Not that he was exactly abstaining. He was young and cute, after all. If someone came around that they liked, someone they could have some fun with, maybe fool around a little, they didn't see the harm in that. It was once emotions and strings got involved that they became wary. So it had been between him and Mars. Feelings seemed to be cropping up, and they did what they'd gotten very good at doing in the last 5 years; they made those feelings a non-issue.
Or so they'd thought. It seemed that Mars had a different view of things. "Why can't you?" he asked, knowing it sounded petulant.
"Take a fucking guess," they snapped back. Mars was always on the sarcastic side--they had that in common--but the snapping was unusual between them. Well, it used to be. Now, it was more common.
Arin dropped his head back in frustration. Feelings. See? They were the problem. They always were. "Mars, can't we just--I dunno. Not anymore? I don't see why it has to be, like, a whole thing."
"You really want me to say it? Fine. Because you fucked up, Arin. That's why. Are you happy now?"
#answered#carlyraejcpsen#otp: elogan#ch: ella#o: logan#otp: princely bros#ch: fredrick#o: eric#otp: arin x mars#well....idk if they're a ship but i'm tagging them that way#ch: arin#o: mars#that last one is a mess but i wanted to post it so you could read the other two lol#answered memes
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what's your favoUrite em
favoUrite has "u rite" in it and you know what? i am right
(you are my favoUrite em obviously)
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4, 19, 25, 38, 41, 54, 69, 76, 82, 97 for the book meme :))
4. a poetry book that reads like a story
Mm that's a tough one. Maybe I Don't Want To Be Crazy by Samantha Shultz. It's a memoir in verse but y'know same shit??
19. a book that put you in a reading slump
SO MANY OMG I am so weak. The most recent that comes to mind was Invasion of the Tearling by Erika Johnson? It undid all the parts of the previous book that I liked and idk
25. a book by your favourite author
I truly could not possibly pick that's so hard!!!!!!!! By the numbers, my most read author is Sarah McLean, and my favorite of her books was Heartbreaker so.....
38. your favourite series
I am so bad at favorites!!!!! Maybe the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series? It's kind of a comfort book series?
41. a book about nature
Mmm Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer. I'm not done with it yet but it's given me chills the entire time.
54. a book with the best opening line
Ooof this is another challenging one! Beauty Queens by Libba Brey has a pretty excellent start:
A WORD FROM YOUR SPONSOR
This book begins with a plane crash.
69. your favourite mythological retelling
Mythology retellings are my shit. This is another tricky one! Maybe Gods Behaving Badly by Marie Phillips? It's fun and silly and I love that
76. a book with a golden/silver cover
Hard bc my bookshelf is in boxes rn. Maybeeee Huntress by Melinda Lo. It's silvery?
82. a book featuring the chosen one trope
Hm. The Duke Who Didn't by Courtney Milan has an utterly delightful "there's only one bed."
97. a book with a hospital setting
That's hard! I don't do much with hospitals. It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini takes place primarily in a hospital, and Ned was very dear to me.
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she’s a 10 but she’s physically incapable of being mean to anyone ever (she’s a 12)
qwerrgdhtyetrsrdfhrdsf
#answered#carlyraejcpsen#ch: ella#answered memes#that's both her response and mine#it's rare that we are one but sometimes man...
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he’s a 10 but he’d correct your grammar when you’re mid sentence
"Mid-sentences. With a hyphen. That's the standard."
#answered#carlyraejcpsen#was this the response you wanted? lol#(i had to google it to check if it was true tho bc i'm that meme that's like 'when you realize you're writing a character smarter than you'#ch: fredrick#answered memes
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🦋👕🧊 for fredrick and 💧💍💎 for loml ella
Fredrick
🦋 » what would your character do if they knew they could not fail ?
What wouldn't they do? Fear of failure has always been one of Fredrick's biggest motivators and biggest inhibitors at the same time. His perfectionist tendencies make him miserable a lot of the time. I think, being specific, they'd probably pursue a career in music rather than in academia about music.
👕 » what’s in your character’s handbag / briefcase / pockets ?
Currently? In their bag: a laptop, a notebook, a smaller notebook, a moleskin (which is to say, an even smaller notebook, lol), headphones, a book he's reading for one of his classes, a book he's reading for pleasure, 5 receipts they can't identify, a little box of pens, an empty glasses case (glasses location, unknown), and a pack of gum. Pockets: keys and wallet,
🧊 » what does your character first notice about another individual ?
If the person speaks, they notice the notes in their voice, and accent and things like that. If it's appearance alone, probably clothing. Not so much fashion or style but like clean vs dirty, ironed vs wrinkly. Things like that.
Ella
💧 » when was the last time your character did something for the first time ?
Hm, I'm going to say recently! A friend took her to the zoo and she rode on the gondola. She'd never been on a gondola before. She thought it was magical!
💍 » what is your character’s favourite gift that they’ve received ?
Ella would hate this question!!! She treasures all her gifts. Buuuut if she had to pick one, Carl got her a stationary set because he knows she likes to write letters, and they were sorta customized for her and she just cherishes it. She only writes letters on it when there's a special occasion because she's saving them up!
💎 » does your character feel they have passed up chances that they presently regret ? describe what they were .
Maybe some, but as she's gotten older, she's stopped beating herself up quite so often for not making the right decision. She's definitely, like, a FOMO person though--any time she chose not to go to something, she spends a lot of energy wishing she'd gone instead. I'd say the last big one was a fundraising event for the shelter where she works. She helped with planning and set-up, but she got a last minute call at another job that day and they'd said it was an emergency. The fundraiser ended up going okay, but some of her coworkers got opportunities to get involved in some other organizations because of people they met, and all she got was a little overtime pay from the bakery (which, tbf, she did use for more dog treats--so it wasn't a total loss!)
#answered#carlyraejcpsen#ch: fredrick#ch: ella#answered memes#me godmodding carl?#it's more likely than you think
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