golden eyes widen slightly at the question ; perhaps the only hint of a reaction to it , truly . but they soften ever so slightly , cold hands moving and fixing what her son wore on his shoulders every day , gently .

   " what a silly question , " nyx begins , voice quiet as always . " i do love you , hypnos . you are my son , after all . and while it hurts to know that you seemingly question so , i understand that the fault falls upon my shoulders for such uncertainty . " a sigh is given , before moving back slightly again . " your choices do make me ponder a lot - doubting many of them , but you have found ways to surprise me positively each time , or for most at least . and while i wish for you to grow more independent , you did grow a lot before my eyes in such short time already . and for that , one could say that i am proud of you . "

   " you and thanatos are very different , but do not forget that in your core , neither of you is truly dissimilar to each other . not only that , but the both of you are my children , and i will always love you both , no matter what . "

Truth + "mom...? Do yo— do you care...? do you love me .... like, like you do Than?" // @chaieos !

I thought I was finding myself becoming what I fear the most: a tumblr emo.

After my “intense” breakup and all that, I was dming the cheatee and I told her “btw, I love your poetry” or something along those lines.

I hated her poetry. It lit a fire inside me because of how much it fucking sucked. Tbh it didn’t really suck, but I’d probably seen the same thing i read in her stanzas 11,000 times in quotes in 2013, not to mention the use of all these stupid ass greek god metaphors and literary prose that half her following probably can’t even understand aside from “i sad my gf broke up wif me sad face”. I hate poetry.

And more than I hate poetry, I hate tumblr poetry—I hate rupi kaur type poetry, aka the poetry of barely-legal kids thinking they’re “broken”. I hate the redundancy of heartbroken words of people who are too fucking caught up in love stories that lack depth. You see someone who is quirky or lonesome and you fall in love with them. Others want what they have because they drank a milkshake with two straws in a picture. You want to get married and be bonnie & clyde. You wanna shower them in material affection and gifts so much ,haaaa typical couple shit, and don’t wanna stop talking about yourself for five minutes to get a real look at them. You’re so caught up in the imaginary idea you have of someone, labeling them as pure and soft and sweet because you don’t want to look at them. You don’t /see/ them. They aren’t transparent to you. That’s why the shit goes over your head so easily. Even if you break the glass layers there will always be a stone wall where you just cant break through as you don’t fully examine them both inside and out. Months later (or years, if lucky) they break ur heart. Someone comes along and the cycles repeats. These tumblr poets can’t break the curse. I also can’t because I’m mentally ill but that’s besides the point. I mean these bitches think taylor swift is the epitome of spoken word so I have to be at least a notch above. They will not listen to anyone else because they were “promised to be by their love’s side”. Vomit. Who cares fr it happens. Yeah u can be hurt but this bullshit aint cuttin’ it.

These kids don’t know what love is. I don’t either but I know I don’t want bullshit that hurts me, and I sure as hell won’t find myself wanting to crawl back into the arms that caused me pain. I get that people suffer that, but the sick culprit is constant over-romanticization of people wanting to frolic in the meadows, feed each other strawberries, live in a cottage together, smoke each other’s cigarette in a puff-puff-pass motion to get the romantic saliva off each other’s butt. Though i’m also guilty of it, it all makes me sick. Not only the blatantly robotic actions that kids have grown to shallowly know because their favs did it in a music video once, but also how much it is causing people to realize...they’re not in love. They don’t want to be lonely. They don’t want to hurt alone, and when rhey realize they don’t feel a spark they keep losing, they still seem to crave the feeling of someone needing them. Someone not being able to live without them. They crave strange destructive tendencies and causing pain to others.

Sometimes this bullshit that media caused makes me want to revert to primitive measures. Ya’know, sex for reproduction and hunting to survive and feed the young the whole damn nine. I wouldn’t mind as the mind games of feeling like you’re supposed to fall apart at the realization you’re being cheated on because GUESS WHAT??? YOU HEARD IT IN A FUCKING SONG are really fucking annoying. I don’t like my brain being wired to think the end of the world is someone being a fucking idiot, as we are all fucking idiots. Stop putting other fucking idiots on pedestals.

Instead of seeking out thrilling, short-lived relationships and one of the two writing and self-sabotaging it all away as a result, get a fucking therapist how bout that? You can google shitty tattooists for every heartbreak you face so why cant you just do the same for rebuilding your shattered pride??? I just don’t get it.

Of course, I say all of this not to discourage those who want an emotional outlet, but all of this needs to be nipped in the bud straight from the source, which is romanticization. Seeing the world through rosy lenses in A-OK, but seeing it that way because and ONLY because of how one person makes you feel constantly is a recipe for disaster.