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kendrixtermina · 7 years

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Extra Typology Vol #3 - Part , A: 13. - The Mercurial Style (Basics)

The “tempestuous romantic type”, perhaps comparable with a sx 4 in the classic enneagram or perhaps sx/sp in general depending on the person.

For people of the Mercurial style, life is a roller coaster of intensity, from the peaks to the valleys, and they want others to come along for the ride - Mercurial individuals yearn for experience and will jump into a new love or a new lifestyle with both feet, without even a glance backward - No other style, including the Dramatic, is this ardent in its desire to connect to life and with other people, and no other style is so capable of enduring the styles in emotional weather that such a fervidly lived life will bring.

The Six Domains

Relationships

Mercurial individuals are never casual about the people they care for - they tend to immediately feel a magnetic involvement or even a powerful sense that the relationship is destined, and it can quickly go on to become the center of their lives and the heart of their beings - they are emotional, insistent and very much life’s natural romantics (indeed, think Romeo Montague) and they pursue their relationships with an intensity unlike any other style.

A love afair, or even a friendship with a mercurial individual is unforgettable - they put their lovers, friends, and even co-workers on a pedestal, worship their perfection and thank the heavens for blessing them with such a person - They’ll feel the urge to talk to the every day, sometimes several times a day, must know everything the other person thinks, does or feels, and will take them everywhere they go and introducing them to their at times numerous friends at pursuits; Their partners may find that they get drawn closer than anyone else ever wanted them to be - and if they’re not into that and resist, the fury & hurt that the Mercurial individual may mount just as quickly and they can swiftly turn angry and critical or the same people they were idolizing just a while earlier.

They can have strong, all-or-nothing opinions and, if displeased, change them pretty quickly; With their shifting moods, incessant demads and the ease with which they can become dissapointed, they can be considered difficult to deal with and perceived as arrogant and grandiose by some, but their cutting, outspoken opinions can also make them interesting and they do have a tendency to encouage those in their good graces to aspire to new heights, and there’s little that they wouldn’t do for their friends and will finght to hang onto someone they feel might be slipping from their grasp - this is the sort of person who will, say, pull a grand romantic gesture to win their ex back.

In a way they can be open to anyone in that if someone strikes them like they should belong to their lives, they will try hard to bring them in, though they can be sharply critical and unforgiving if an individual isn’t interested in the offer - and obviously, that level of intensity and ceaseless activity might overwhelm those with more moderate needs for emotional closeness - it doesn’t help that Mercurial folks are, for all their many enthusiams, given to brood and often the sort of people that might take a request for more space too personally.

On the plus side, they’re the most generous, focussed and attentive partners you’ll ever get. In a healthy individual with a well-balanced pattern, these traits can contribute to a powerful, lasting romantic love of the sort that songs, poems and stageplays are about (indeed you may have noticed that everything about this style is basically song lyrics tropes incarnate), but if the dominance of the Mercurial style is more extreme and other emotionally volatile styles (like say, Dramatic) are present, you end up with a needy, emotionally unrestrained person with a limited capacity to stop and think and such enormous expectations that few people can adequately fulfill even if they love the very Mercurial person in question dearly, for few can offer the same constant intense passion and attention - by and large, they tend not to be all too skilled at patching things up with others - they tend to feel that they are the ones who give the most (and more often than not its even true), and some may even feel justified in manipulating others into giving them more attention.

They may have trouble recognizing the ways in which they may have contributed to relationship difficulties, in part because of a tendency to view the relationship colored by their later feelings if it blew up in anger & conclude that it must have sucked to begin with and/or that they were merely fooled or blinded by their feelings.

Individuals in which this style is extremly pronounced may have difficulty actually sustaining the relationship in the long-term but because they thrive on romantic love, they will throw themselves completely into the next relationship before too long, so they will end up going through a series of passionate entanglements rather han one single lasting relationship.

A sad truth with some extremly Mercurial individuals can be that sometimes, they are the last ones to recognize how much they mean to the people in their lives because of their impossibly high standards and a tendency to feel hurt and abandones when others simply assert their needs.

Emotions

Mercurial people are driven by their emotions - what moves them is what counts to them. Even with only a moderate amount of this style, and individual will experience all their emotions more intensely than other people - they are all heart, and everyone and everything leaves an impact on them. They laugh and weep easily and openly. They can feel hot fury and ice-cold rage, and they experience profound sexual excitement and passion, encountering little inibitions in this or any other emotional aspect of their lives.

In brief: They have a lot of feelings. Emotions drive even their thoughts - when you listen to a Mercurial expressing their conviction, a strenght of feeling will be apparent. They’re anything but wishy washy and let you know exactly where they stand, hold nothing back and take nothing lightly, especially when it comes to people - after all, as we’ve previously discussed, relationships are the focus of Mercurial lives - all their relationships, from lovers to friends to relatives to co-workers. They react to everyone, finding emotional significance in anything another person does - as a result, they are easily flattered and pleased, but just as easily devastated, disillusioned or dissapointed.

As it’s so central to their lives there’s a good chance that they idealize emotion, not just in a 19th century romanticist sense but in seeking perfect romantic love - they may find it, too, but they can’t necessarily grasp it for long - perhaps no one can, for the idealized lover exists only as no flaws, however minor, are seen. A strongly Mercurial person may prefer to remain infatuated with their beloved and thus bland to the real human imperfections that might spell a dreadful disapointment, a calm, quiet life with a “regular” person would sound like boredom to them.

Because their emotions are their primarysource of experience and meaning, Mercurial individuals - at least those who don’t have a more ‘head’-heavy style to anchor them - will be subject to rapid, sometimes unpredictable shifts in moods as they react to the unavoidable changes in their environment.

In moderate, well-adjusted individuals with balanced personality patterns, this can represent a gift for experiencing the fullness of emotion but in the extremes, especially as we approach a degree of disfunctionality, they might find that they lack a consistent emotional center and find themselves at the mercy of their internal states and prone to overreactions.

Self-Control

Appetites exert a huge force on the Mercurial life - propelled by their powerful emotions, they are hungry for and thoroughly responsive to pleasure, sensation and experience, which may also serve as distractions from hurt and pain they may be unwilling to acknowledge.

They are curious and interested, love to taste and experiment and are alive in the moment, finding it difficult to pass up any spontaneous gratification - if they get a craving for Pizza in the middle of the night, they might well end up dragging all their friends to a fancy restaurant in a rented limousine - Unafraid of risk, they are intensely motivated to have a good time and experience new things and will try anything once. Often they drive like demons, spend their money as soon as they have it, and feast with little thoughts of cholesterol and the like - Like dramatic and Adventurous people, their skill is in living in the moment, with the corresponding drawback of being reluctant to plan for the future.

For people with this as their dominant style, this can reach levels of reckless self-indulgence and some may end up self-destructing despite all their talents and abilities. Of course it needn’t come that far but even a fairly well-adjusted Mercurial person will need to make a continuous effort to keep themselves from overdoing it - of course, having more commonsense-ey styles in one’s pattern helps.

Self

Their characteristic willingness to try anything once extends even to the Self domain: Mercurial types tend to be extremly open-minded and curious about other ways of being - their sense of who they are is rarely concretely fixed to any particular identity or lifestyle, and sometimes not even to a culture - Mercurial people have a talent for moving into new lifestyles and fitting right in whereas others may seem out-of-place and uncomfortable at first and may easily learn a new language, assimilate into a new location or social group, cultural movement, or adjust to a new career or role - Some Mercurial people in whim the trait is especially pronounced may immerse themselves in the lifestyles and even identities of new friends or lovers.

This ‘’fluid’ sense of self may also mean that the Mercurial individual isn’t always absolutely certan of their own identity, and thus bring some downsides with it - A given Mercurial person may, for example, have a hard time figuring out what they want to do in their lives, have a bit of a complex or identity crisis about it during which they may struggle with feelings of emptiness, or resort to imitating people or groups to archieve a sense of certainty.

In any case, the self-image (or images) of a Mercurial person - whatever it happens to be - is likely to be painted in strongly contrasting colors. They may be changeable, but they always stand out.

Worldview

To a Mercurial person, the world is an intense and powerful place that is often chaotic, and at times rather dark - this is a fire-and-ice personality style, inside an out.

Work

At work, Mercurial types can be bright, outgoing, enthusiastic, energetic, original and creative - characteristically, they become intensely involved with their co-workers and take everything that happens in their work relationships personally - They can be passionately interested and involved in office and intrigue.

They often put their bosses on pedestal an expect them to behave with perfect judgement and compassion, which, of course, can lead to dissapointment - but as long as the boss manages to mantain his idealized image, the Mercurial individual will work extremly hard to make a good impression - but they’ll need to be recognized and rewarded for their hard work as the ‘special’ relationship with the boss is essential to the motivations - Mercurial people do not become selfless drones, and if all their intense efforts go unnoticed, and the boss acts as if they are just one more employee, they’ll quickly lose interest and their effort will peter out - Mercurial types rise to the occasion when they are admired, needed, depend on and idealized.

They can be as demanding at work as they are in other areas of their lives, but their insistence on being treated well can serve then in this domain - their sense of entitlement will keep them from being ill-used and underpaid, thought in some cases their usual difficulty with being realistic can cause this t backfire, leading them to insist on being treated as way more important to their employers than they actually are - this, combined with their tendency for strong emotional reactions, may interfere with the progress of their careers - that said, this may be different in creative fields, given the sort of reputations artists get.

Life Choices

Leadership

The Mercurial style does not generally come with a gift for leadership, largely because the Mercurials loathe to establish the necessary managerial detachment from their subordinates - they like to become intensely involved and they end up, as always, idealizing relationships.

They expect extraordinary personal dedication and perfect performance from those who work with them and when subordinates do not meet their expectations, they tend to feel personally let down - plus, they’re moody & emotional. They often split those around them into an in-group and an out-group, although affiliation among the favored few is never guaranteed for long. Moreover, they haven’t much ability n planning, organization or dealing with money.

A little touch of the Mercurial style, however, may well aid a manager in inspiring their subordinates to give their all, and Mercurial individuals are sometimes capable of brilliant ideas - with a solid, non-competitive second in command of a more common-sense-ey style, such a semi-Mercurial manager may be able to both fire up the spirit and make sure that the work actually gets done.

Job Recomendations

To be happy and productive in your work life, you need a career where your emotive ability can work for you, for example in a creative field - You likely have good critical skills and enjoy sitting in judgement - consider becoming a critic.

However, avoid technical, solitary, detail- or number oriented work that requires rigorous cerebral preserverance and pick something where you’re somehow involved with others - You’ll need the discipline of a structured work setting, too, as you might have a tendency to lose focus & get sidetracked by your pesonal whims that may prove fatal in slor or independent work.

Consider acting, be it professionally or simply as a hobby. Considering your style’s comfort in an idealized role, you may also thrive in teaching or helping professions - if you can avoid overinvolvement with students/clients and deal with or offset your generally high impatience and low frustration tolerance.

Stress Sources

The greatest sources of stress for a Mercurial person tend to be relationship problems; Likewise, it is important to them to be recognized and treated as special, and if that doesn’t happen - of if the other prson tries to establish some distance - they might feel threatened.

As one may expect, they react to such stresses very intensely - often they’ll throw themselves into a powerful, passionate experience (sex, music, drugs, booze etc.) to distract themselves - or, they’ll step back and act like it isn’t happening, which can seem a little strange. But unless the stress itself diminished, sooner or later they’ll react full force, often feeling that rejection is tantamount to the end of the world.

If their outbursts of emotion fail to influence the other person, they may cope by suddenly turning their backs on that person and becoming intensely involved with someone else, perhaps itself a distraction from the pain. They hate being without love and do not stay that way for long.

Parenting

Mercurial people can make wonderfully fun, entertaining, interesting energetic and involving parents - when they’re in the mood.

They greatly enjoy the emotional intensity of parent-child relationships, especially while the child is small, but they can be imontionally inconsistent in all their relationships and might have difficulties dealing appropiately with the child’s emerging autonomy and it can be hard work for Mercurial parents to allow a teen their idependence and distance. Also, if the child becomes contrary, the spouse may have to help with the patience and forbearance, and since this is an impulsive style, they might not be the most qualified people to teach their kids to control their own impulses and appetites.

That said, a Mercurial parent - especially if moderate and relatively well-adjusted - can encourage emotional depht, generosity, creativity,courage romance and spirit in their offspring.

Romantic Compatibility

The stronger the Mercurial streak, the more difficult it can be to sustain a long-term relationship beyond the honimoon phase - Mercurial types require hot intensity but the heat they need usually burns itself out quickly. They need partners who are interesting, strong, exciting, passionate, romantic and yet fully responsive to their demands - basically Prince Charming, which is precisely the problem in the long-term, as their expectations of an idealized perfect unions might be just plain unrealistic - They might still find fulfillment and intensity in memorable if brief short-term relationships though.

If you’re a Mercurial who’d like to find a lifetime partner, you may have to learn to appreciate a partner’s more low-key, steadier, less romantic qualities.

Theoretically, a sober, steady and responsible Conscientious type might make a good match for the long haul, but unlike a predominantly Dramatic person, a strongly Mercurial type would get bored with such a person in no time, if the Conscientious peson didn’t get overwhelmed by the fireworks first

Adventurous types often prove highly attractive to them - they are not good at fulfilling Mercurial demands, but they’ll be compatible in the passion and excitement department, at least for a while

Similarily, two Mercurials may have a similarily exciting affair, but fly appart dramatically eventually if there’s no further stabilizing influence

Dramatic partners usually need too much attention to themselves, but this, too could be good and fiery over the short term

For a more long-term match, Vigilant qualities may help, for you can share your mutual sense of being somewhat separate from the rest.

For similar reasons, an Idiosyncratic partner could prove a real find as long as they’re not too involved with their own little world - you two are different from the usual mold and may be able to build a truly unique relationship (My inner emo fairy says yes, but the reality of my strong introversion probably firmly confines this scenario to elaborate fantasies full of badboy appeal. Maybe it was an internet/long-distance relationship? Sounds like it would be worth the experience even if it’s likely to blow up. Still, I could definitely see it work for other idiosyncratic people, especially if both partners share interests. I think actually wrote something roughly like that pair in one of my first attempts at semi-original fiction works)

Also, a match with a Sensitive person could surprise you both with its longevity - Sensitive people can be strong, tolerant, feeling mates who need you to open them up and make the world of other people available to them - and both of these would coincide with a Mercurial’s particular strenghts.

Watch out for a strong Serious tendency in anyone you might be attracted to, there’s a good chance that you two will bring each other down in no time.

Specific Issues

A changeable Nature

Unlike most others, Mercurial individuals tend to be intrigued rather than put off by other’s differences - to begin with, they tend not to categorize people and be open to all manner of relationships and experiences, with the corollary that they themselves easily experiment with new lifestyles, roles and identities without seeing themselves as fundamentally changed (and they may indeed the implication that they were somehow inauthentic before or are so currently)

Disambiguation (Mercurial vs. Dramatic)

While the Mercurial and Dramatic styles resemble each other in the emphasis on passion and feelings, and although both styles can and often do coexist within the same individual, they differ in important ways:

Dramatic individuals are other-directed. That means that they will be attentive to you and learn what you want to in order to win your love and become the center of your attention - they can be deeply intuitive & sensitive to the needs of others and orchestrate their own behavior to draw you to them -

Mercurial individuals are much more intense and demanding and won’t be content simply to dance in the light you shine on them - they’ll need you to step in there with you and will want to fill up their whole world with you and dream of being with you throughout eternity - Generous and outgoing as they may be, they will be far less inclined to moderate their behavior for your sake or to adapt to anyone else’s ways of looking at things.

Addition: Though not discussed in this book/ present the initial version of the system, another type with which there might be disambiguation potential is the Artistic one, as both can be described as having “changing moods” and engaging on many new pursuits based on impulse - but you’re working with a whole different energy there: The Mercurial “alternates” between high intensity wanting and high intensity anger but is still nonstop high intensity whereas with the Artistic the poles are more between positive, enthusiastic excitement and apathetic, low-energy melancholy.

#oldham #personality #oldham personality #typology #extraTypology #Mercurial

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