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#call of duty modern lovefare.
lxvvie · 2 days
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You and Simon will be that one couple who argues respectfully disagrees about how long they've been together.
And like the wonderful, attentive Missus that he is, when Simon brings it up on your anniversary, you tell him that you two positively weren't dating those first six months even though you absolutely were.
"That so, luv?" "Yeah, it is, Simon! Where the hell was I if we were dating then, huh?" You swore you had him with that.
Silence. Simon regarded you with an even stare.
"You were with me."
Oh. Shit. Bubble busted, then.
And now that you think of it, it's not like Simon would let just anybody wear his clothes if he wasn't dating them, yeah?
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lxvvie · 2 days
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Okay but like the intimacy that is shaving Simon / Alex’s face?? Unmatched
-drama nonnie
It's very intimate. Like sitting on their laps intimate.
And in Simon's case, intimidating, because he's staring into your soul.
Deep into your soul.
Also, knowing his ass, he probably likes to shave with a straight razor. Probably also wearing sweatpants with no boxers so Little Lt. Riley is saying hello from under your bum.
Alex is the one who isn't taking shit seriously and his hands are either on your hips or on your ass 'cause he fucking loves the way you feel in his hands. And he keeps making you laugh, too. Alex, please. 😳
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lxvvie · 15 hours
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https://www.tiktok.com/@derghost.__/video/7361739043173944608?_t=8lvQAizmCRa&_r=1
PLSSSSS THE PANIC IN HIS EYESS LMAOOO. simon is a lil grumpy afterwards bc he really thought he could find whatever he was looking for himself
Simon's seen and experienced some shit, things that'll make grown men fuckin' cry.
Nothing, absolutely nothing will ever prepare him for the Missus.
Especially when you use his full government name.
"Simon Riley!"
Oh, fuck me.
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lxvvie · 28 days
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Couples Shit with Simon Riley (Part 2):
Having a giggle/chuckle fest almost every time you are intimate. It first happened at the beginning of your relationship when you would giggle every time you two kissed. It opened the floodgates, had let that nervous energy out, and Simon was right there chuckling with you. ("Heh—aw, fuck me.")
Swearing up and down that you're gonna fuck each other's brains out but as soon as you hit the bed, you and Simon are out like a light. The last time this happened, he was supposed to go down on you, but the next thing you know, you woke up to him fast asleep with his head on your stomach.
Kissing the bridge of his crooked nose and Simon turning into putty every time. Hell, kissing any and every dent, bruise, and scar, and making your man melt.
A nice round of horizontal tango turning into a cuddle session after you comforted Simon through a charley horse. Poor baby.
Initially making the telly watch you two make sex but turns out whatever you're watching was pretty decent after all so you guys are back to watching the telly again.
Getting hot and heavy one time but you were so intrigued with the mole you discovered on Simon's inner thigh that you spent the next half-hour or so trying to find other moles on his body.
Telling Simon that you "always wanted to do this" and when you get him hot, bothered, and hard, it turns out what you always wanted to do was measure him. His disappointment was immeasurable... even if he was interested to know the number.
Twinning in some way, shape, or fashion whenever you're out together.
Talking mad shit about his snoring but let him tell it, he doesn't say shit when you take up about 80% of the bed, covers, and sleep under him.
Speaking of talking shit, having disagreements like every couple does and when you go to bed, you're angrily cuddling each other. And yes, Simon still wants your kisses in the morning, even if you two are still mad at each other. Simon doesn't give a shit, you're still gonna love on him, dammit. And him on you.
Being mad with Simon when he arrived too late to get the creepy crawler that was harassing you. Harassing you by doing what it does best: be a creepy crawler. Simon tells you you'll have to conquer your fear one day. You tell him to conquer the couch tonight lmao.
Agreeing to disagree about the superior ice cream flavor in the house. It's too bad there's not any of his favorite ice cream in the freezer. There's some of yours, though. Why? You didn't get any because it was so superior that you wouldn't "dare sully it with your hands". Cue the judgemental stare and him eating YOUR ice cream afterward. Rude.
Scaring the ever-living shit out of Simon on the rare occasions he gets to sleep in. He woke up to you sitting up in bed with his mask and paint on. Oh, and he calls bullshit. He did not nearly fall out the bed. Nor did he jump. Okay, Simon.
Chilling and drinking with Simon. Finding out he gets hot and sweaty pretty easily and off comes his clothes. Waking up hungover the next morning and you're the big spoon to a naked and equally hungover Simon. Choosing to do fuck all but sleep it off that day.
Playfully calling or referring to him as the Missus, especially in front of your co-workers. When they finally meet Simon and ask him who he is, he replies in pure deadpan Ghost fashion: "The Missus".
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lxvvie · 25 days
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Simon proposed to you. While drunk.
To be fair, you were a bit merry yourself.
You were in the comfort of your home, enjoying each other's company and the cheap alcohol when you realized Simon was staring at you. Turns out he'd been staring at you for quite a while. He was definitely inebriated, but it was like he was aware just the same. You saw it in his dark eyes. You would have reflected some more if you weren't tipsy.
"...Marry me."
That roused you from your drunken stupor. You think. You guess. Wait a damn minute. You began giggling. Or maybe you always were giggling. Fuck, you didn't know, didn't care to know, but—"Yer drunk, Siiiii." And still, you giggled.
Wasn't gonna deter your soldier, though. He took another swig of his drink, let it settle, eyes never leaving yours, and said, " 'm not drunk. 'm in love, sweetheart," Oh! ...Oh. Oh shit. "Marry me, luv. Make an honest man outta me, yeah?" Simon punctuated his proposal with a loud burp. When did he take his shirt off?
You couldn't be bothered to care. When didn't he have his shirt off around you? And fuck, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the way he kept staring at you, drunk in love, or maybe—"SURE!"
Smooth. Real fucking smooth. But it was enough.
Simon leaned in to kiss you. At least, he tried to. That's all you remembered until the next morning when you woke up and there he was, comfortably resting on top of you, him in your arms and you in his.
You would've thought last night was a dream if you hadn't seen the drunken text Simon sent the boys later:
im a missus
Yes, you are, Simon. Yes, you are.
And truth be told, you two didn't mind it at all.
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lxvvie · 21 days
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Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Part 2:
Thinking Simon is asleep when he isn't. Or so he says. Case in point: Simon in all his cattiness made you his pillow. Your nails were working miracles scratching along his scalp which had him dozing off and lightly snoring. Or so you thought. You heard him grumble, "Why'd you stop, luvie?" when you moved your hand. He'll deny he was asleep, too, like the peepaw that he is.
To piggyback off the first point, Simon will sometimes quietly grab your hand and put it back on his head if you stop scratching his scalp. If you stop a second time, he will have experienced a betrayal man and cat were never supposed to know, and it's Affection Denied™ for the rest of the day lmao.
Texting each other when you're in two separate rooms because you don't feel like talking out loud. Sometimes, you'll text him some crazy shit that'll warrant him leaving the room he was in to silently judge you.
Absolutely loving to watch him shave in the morning because Simon is so sexy when he's concentrating, eyebrows furrowed, and those brown eyes staring intensely in the mirror.
You and Simon shit-talking each other in bed because you'll complain about being hot with the covers and cuddle pile you two have going on but never really doing anything to change it. You two actually can't get a good night's sleep without being up under the other.
Simon banning you from watching horror films because, for the hundredth bloody time, he didn't hear shit, love. He actually did and it was the neighbors but he can't be arsed to get out of bed.
Speaking of neighbors, it's you and Simon lying in bed, listening to the neighbors make sex and when it's done, Simon goes, "Mm. A new record," and he sounds so unimpressed which causes you to guffaw. Oh my fucking god—
Getting in the dog house with Simon because when your hands are cold, you stick them down in his pants to rest on his thighs because it's hilarious to see him jump and that's what he gets for not turning the heat up. Simon counterargues that he did turn it up. Three degrees.
Introducing Simon to the wonders of Spa Day at home because his skin needs some TLC. Simon looking like someone's stressed auntie with a ciggie dangling from his lips, wearing a really comfortable bathrobe you got him, and eye masks on.
You two treating it like the end of the world whenever one of y'all gets sick (Simon to a lesser extent) because how in the hell will you get your daily dose of affection?
Going all out and having a whole-ass reveal party for your newest edition to the family, Pup. You gave the boys shirts to wear in celebration. You wore Dad, Simon wore... Mom????, Kyle got Uncle, Soap got... Big Brother??? and Price got... Grandfather. Grand. Father. "Congrats, Cap'n." "Shut up."
Pranking Simon by calling him some random guy's name just to see his reaction. Simon stops what he's doing, judges you in Ghost, and goes, "Who the fuck is Anthony?" After that, it's on sight for Anthony. Whoever the fuck that is. Simon gets you back, though, and he's all, "Ask Anthony" "Oh? You love Anthony, too?" "Sorry sweetheart, Simon is taken. Better go to Anthony." Real funny, asshole.
Simon thinking you're about to go down on him. Not the way he thinks, though. You've situated yourself between his thighs, put his legs on your shoulders, and lower your head to... blow raspberries in his tummy. Like... whole-ass tunes. The disappointment on his face is immeasurable. But then you have him chuckling because you're fuckin' adorable looking up at him like that and your raspberries are ticklish.
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lxvvie · 22 days
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Drunk Simon texting you.
Your newly-made missus is out with the boys. You busy yourself with whatever and before you know it, a few hours have passed.
Your phone pings. Simon texted you.
Hilarity ensues.
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lxvvie · 10 days
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Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Lovably Pissed Grumpy Cat Editon:
cw: alcohol and alcoholic consumption
If you thought sober Simon had grumpy cat tendencies, drunk Simon is on another level of grumpy cattiness, complete with the way he'll look up and squint his eyes in catty judgment every time you cease to stop scratching his scalp. Fuck you stop for, lovie?
Simply put: Splooting and snoring. On you.
Simon getting the munchies after a night out and snacking on your favorite snacks, y'know, the ones that don't (lovingly) hold a candle to his? Simon confesses that actually yeah, you do have good taste in food and you're the reason why his taste buds aren't so shitty anymore. The food choices are just one more thing to lovingly bicker about, sweetheart.
Your big bear of a soldier being a bit more talkative than normal while pissed. It's not uncommon for you two to be laid up, staring at the ceiling, and conversing about life. One time, Simon pensively revealed that "Mum and Tommy would've liked you and Pa would've been jealous..."
Similarly, Simon confessing all these life plans he had in mind for the two of you, what he'd do after he left the military, how you two would spend the rest of your lives together, travel, and annoy the Cap'n. Maybe. More than likely. OH, and he can finally stay naked all day and sleep in with you. This being said from the bathroom where he's taking the longest piss known to man. Oh, Simon. ❤️
Hand holding. Drunk Simon really loves to hold your hand. Loves to intertwine your fingers and compare the sizes. Gushes about how soft yours feels compared to his. Always talks about how you two "fuckin' fit" and if he could, he'd hold your hand forever.
Drunk texting you like crazy. Even when he's right beside you. Simon wants you to know that he loves you and that your ass is better than any pillow he's slept on. Er, thank you, Si-bear.
Speaking of drunk texting, remember when he let the fellas know he's a missus now? Yeah, he also spoke of the wedding plans. The Cap'n would give him away, Gaz would be the best man, and Johnny would be the flower girl but because he's, y'know, Soap, he'll just spray bubbles or some shit instead of throwing petals. OH, and that he really wants a Spring wedding but whatever color they choose for said wedding, please don't pick the color purple because it's overrated and washes him out. Huh???
After Simon suggests you two adopt Soap, he comes home with a drunken Johnny in tow and introduces him like he just got him. From somewhere, you guess. Simon goes on and on about how you two have to be good "role models" for Johnny as if he isn't a grown man who had good role models growing up. The picture you snapped of them cuddled up together on the couch (that you later shared with Gaz) sleeping the alcohol off was worth it, and Simon would much rather you and Soap not talk about it. Ever. ("What we have is special, Lt.—" "That'll fuckin' DO—")
Simon telling you that, as your missus, he, too, will wear a wedding band. On his cock. Because you love his cock and you love him. OH, and because he won't lose it when he's deployed. They don't call it a cockring for nothing, lovie.
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lxvvie · 25 days
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I’m a firm believer that after a few years of dating Simon’s s/o wont make a big deal of welcoming him home after deployment. He prefers is that way anyway.
His s/o finds him sleeping on the couch after coming home from their night shift and just plop down half on top and half next to him.
He prefers coming home to you doing your thing, the peace and quiet, and you just living life as you normally would.
Simon does want his Welcome Home kisses, though.
You're dog-tired and seeing Simon on the couch is a sight for sore (and exhausted) eyes. You plop down on him which rouses Si from his sleep. He peeks one dark eye open in acknowledgment.
"Welcome home, Sleeping Beauty."
Simon tiredly snorts and the next thing you know, he's shifted so that you're fully nestled against him.
Your backs will pay for it in the morning but right now, to hell with walking to the bloody bed.
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lxvvie · 1 month
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When Simon is in one of his moods and using you as his personal pillow, you’re not allowed to get up much like with a cat. Not even when you need to use the bathroom.
You try to move, Simon grunts in Ghost.
You actually do move, Simon grunts in Ghost, wraps his arms around you, and nuzzles against your skin. If you're under him and move to get from under him, he'll just roll over so you're on top. His arms are still around you. Vice versa if you're originally on top of him.
You tell him you gotta get up, and he'll tighten his hold slightly.
He'll let you up. Eventually.
Cheers, Your Splootiness.
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lxvvie · 1 month
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I adore those free use Simon asks where he thinks the reader wants to fuck him but they just cuddle him instead. Those are just amazing. Now let me turn the tables: The reader’s lying on the couch, scrolling on their phone when Simon spreads their legs apart and hooks their thighs over his shoulders. The reader thinks he’s going to pull down their joggers next but instead he puts his head on their lower stomach with a big sigh. Unexpected, but not unwelcome. Does he want them to scratch his scalp? Yeah? Cool, no problem.
Okay, let's talk about it, anon!
It's moments like these where Simon reminds you of a cat. A big, grumpy cat. You ask him if he's okay, and he grunts in Ghost which you interpret as, "Yes. And no. Love me." Sure thing, Si.
One of your hands is lazily scratching his scalp while the other is busy with your phone. You feel Simon shift slightly and a big paw of his comes up and gently takes the phone out of your hand because he wants scritches and attention. Your full attention. On him.
Love him. Please.
And so you do. One hand giving scritches. Another intertwined with his.
He's living the life.
Until you stop. At which point he grunts in Ghost again lmao.
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lxvvie · 4 days
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Sometimes, Simon tells you he loves you without saying it at all.
He shows it in his vigilance, reminding you in his straightforward, gruff way to take care of yourself, especially when he’s gone.
You see it in his eyes, eyes that never leave yours, dark and somber and passionate just the same, clear eyes that tell a thousand stories, each scarier and more magnificent than the last, but still they remain fixated on you.
You hear it in his voice, distant and tired yet powerful, when he calls you during a prolonged deployment, yearning to hear your voice, and asks you what the sky looks like.
You tell him, he tells you, and you two fall in love again in the ambient silence, looking at a different sky.
The same sky.
And it’s like he never left you at all.
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lxvvie · 8 days
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Couples shit with Simon Riley, Modern Harefare edition:
I've talked about Simon with Pup (the dog) and Spectre (the cat), but what if the family pet was... a rabbit?
Meet Thumper, the cutest, most adorable Lop... that Simon wasn't expecting. At all. When you said you were getting a Lop, he didn't think it'd be a... a bloody rabbit. And thus a war in your home was started, one of epically adorable proportions.
Simon is convinced Thumper wants him dead. For a variety of reasons. Reasons that include waking him up at the ass-crack of dawn by sprinting across the bed and catching him mid-snore when Thumper hits his head. Yeah, luv, the bloody rabbit wants him dead.
It's that and catching Thumper nibbling on his clothes with no remorse. Because he wants him dead.
And it's also Thumper... thumping his way through life, throwing adorable tantrums because "I just gave you some lettuce, Thumps," or, "Can't eat my biscuit, mate." It's fuckin' psychological warfare, the things Thumper does to him, luv. What's so bloody funny?
Perhaps you've noticed that whenever Simon is scrolling on his yee-yee ass phone, Thumper jumps on him and knocks the phone out of his hand. With no remorse. Because he wants Simon dead. Alright, mate, if it's a bloody war you want, it's a bloody war you get.
Simon retaliating in kind, responding with psychological warfare of his own. "Gotta disarm my opponent," is what your soldier says, as he gives Thumper his favorite treat: a banana. All to throw Thumper off his game. Know what else Simon does?
Clean Thump's hutch when it's his turn. He makes it nice and comfortable again all so his bunny child can rage and thump and... mess it up in rebellion. Again. Simon can't help but be amused and chuckle. The tide's turning in his favor, sweetheart.
Whenever Thumper jumps on him, Simon... pets him. To throw him off his game of course. No thumping formed against him shall prosper. Sometimes. And when Thumper does thump in rebellion, Simon gently admonishes him like the honey bunny dad that he is. No, Simon, you're absolutely not laughing at him giving your pet rabbit a whole-ass lecture.
Bond with Distract Thumper with the game on the telly. Goes good for Simon 'cause it puts his thumping to good use whenever they miss a goal. Yeah, he feels the same way, Thumps. Now Johnny has bragging rights for the next couple of days or so until his team inevitably lets him down again.
Let Thumper follow him throughout the house for the most part. You have to keep your friends close and your enemies closer, luv.
And you know the most effective war tactic Simon has at his disposal? Cuddles. Because Thumper loves his cuddles and how Simon picks him up and nestles him in his arms. Better yet, it's when he lightly scratches Thump's head, lulling him into a false sense of security... and sleep. "Think I've won this war, sweetheart," Simon says as Thumper rests comfortably in his arms. Yeah, Simon, you sure did. And when you suggest putting your bunny baby down so he can nap some more, Simon looks at you as if you had two heads.
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lxvvie · 29 days
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Hoping it’s the right one this time 😭😭😭
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLkAHdKV/
But I see Simon just reaching out for you because our touch starved baby needs to feel his Lovie at all time, then he’s all ‘fuck off’ when you deny his love clutches
This is totally Simon, though. 😭
It's like a game of cat and mouse with your hand.
You try to move your hand and he'll tighten his hold some.
When/If your hand is free, you like to gently drum your fingers along his knuckles, which prompts him to try and grab your hand to hold it.
Aht aht! Too slow, Simon.
Cat that he is, your precious big boy decides that such a game is not worth His Cattiness and proceeds to (playfully) withhold his love, essentially turning the tables on you. So, whenever you go to grab his hand, he's the one moving away from you.
"Siiiiii~ ❤️" "Affection denied, luv." "PFFT—"
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lxvvie · 1 month
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free use!Ghost but instead of sex, you use him as your living, breathing canvas and you start painting art on him which encourages the intimacy between you two.
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