#but we both cope and bond with gallows humor and joke about our horrible traumas
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#but who in their right mind would say that his traumas are on the same level as mine#theyre worlds apart and i didnt mean it like a “ha ha my life is better than yours” but more of a “i shouldnt complain”#which is wrong too ofc you cant compare things like that! a broken thing is broken no matter what broke it#and we both are mentally fucked to the point that we are actually disabled#but we both cope and bond with gallows humor and joke about our horrible traumas#because at some point it stops being a horrible story that you gotta be serious about. and turns into a story so horrible its funny#you know what i mean??#like how would anyone be able to keep a straight face when told that i was beaten and bullied to the tune of peppa pig hfhskjshg#“greta gris nöffnöff” while kicking me hfbskjfhs like making someone oink in tune to the song is hilarious#its horrible but hilarious#its the same with his stories where he had his fucked up family stories that we just laughed about because it was so horrible#but this time i went overboard with my half joke half concern comments#and it turned awkward and i hurt him and now im here venting after weve already made up#im sorry ted i love you youre a great friend and i hope you get therapy soon#we botj are mental wrecks and you desperately need meds hahah#i hope to see where you end up in the future and i hope you get to see me finish engineering school#i hope we stat friends for a long time and keep up with eachother even when far apart and doing our own thing#im gonna be horrible with contact tho i always am lmao#also i hope yours and noahs marriage goes well i love you two youre great#also i hope noah get their fucking mental health cyecked too god damn theyre an autistic trigger wreckage#i cant talk about traumas with anyone else because the worst thing on earth is when someone pities me. or feels sorry for me#stop it! im not weak! im not pathetic like that! dont pity me! its disgusting!#ugh. unfortunately us making fun of eachothers trauma leads to a guilty partypooper feeling when trying to get help#cant really reach out to ted without feeling awkward or guilty or like a killjoy making things worse#i love him but damn. i hate hate hate hate having panic attacks in front of people and even more someone that normally jokes w me#idk
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