#but these attitudes would be pretty ingrained into them and impossible to avoid | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

blindbeta · 3 years

Text

Blind/Visually Impaired Person’s Review Of ‘The Blind Bandit’

It is here! At almost 6 thousand words (I have a problem lol). This is a review of season 2, episode 6 in Avatar: the Last Airbender. The episode is called The Blind Bandit.

Note that this is only a review of the portrayal of blindness rather than the episode or show itself. This show also has audio descriptions on Netflix so any blind followers of mine can watch the show if the want to. I would also like to make it clear that this is my opinion. It is my no means lacking in bias and I won’t pretend that it is. I love this character for some of the reasons I will explain here, and that will show even as I consider criticisms of her or things that simply could have been better.

This character, Toph, was my first exposure to a blind character in television.

CHARACTER INTRO:

“Your champion, The Blind Bandit!”

We first hear Toph introduced as The Blind Bandit. She is described as having pale eyes which is usually how eye conditions are conveyed visually. Some online sources describe them as light grey or sea form green, but glazed over. This could be due to cataracts or some other deterioration. Part of me wants to mention that not all blind people have eyes like this. Most don’t; I don’t. However, blind people can have many eye problems outside of just The Blindness, so it isn’t inaccurate either, especially for a time period where eye surgeries are not available, and Waterbenders are not as easy to reach for healings as they may have been before the war. I also suspect her family would not care about cataracts if Toph was not in pain— their main issue would be her blindness. I’m getting ahead of myself.

The point is, I don’t mind the way her eyes are portrayed here. I do think non-blind people are too obsessed with portraying eyes like this, however, and I feel like it is not necessary in non-visual media unless you have established why their eyes are cloudy/lighter/Like That other than Because Blind. I’m happy they didn’t fall into the trap of portraying her eyes as constantly closed.

I also read somewhere that the creators tried not to move her eyes much. I don’t know how true this goal was, but I feel it is not entirely necessary. Blind people can also have uncontrollable eye movements or rapid eye movements. This might be too hard to animate and too confusing for viewers. Therefore, I feel the creators chose a more practical portrayal of eye movements that is the easiest to animate and least confusing for people who may not know blind eyes can and do move, whether due a condition or other factors.

“She can’t really be blind, can she?”

I like that everyone says “blind” without stumbling over it or treating it as a bad word. Katara is surprised and Aang is accepting, feeling hopeful that this girl could at last be his teacher. I even like that she chose to capitalize on it for her persona. Already we can tell Toph has no issue with being blind, nor does she feel the need to hide it in such a setting as this. She is already the champion— it must be working for her. It is this openness and acceptance of blindness that I like, especially from the main character. Rather than make her hide her blindness or angst over something she has lived with all her life, the writers just introduced it as fact. She’s blind and she’s a champion. That is how we meet Toph.

“Sounds to me like you’re scared, Boulder!”

Trash talk. She’s trash talking him. If the champion thing was not an indication that this wasn’t your stereotypical innocent, blind flower, her first line should be! Already Toph is brash and fearless. A far cry from the angelic stereotype we often get in the media.

“Your winner, and still the champion, The Blind Bandit!”

Toph kicks Boulder Butt. Pretty easily. I loved every second of it.

Now let’s talk about the Super Crip trope here.

IS TOPH A SUPERCRIP?

The Supercrip trope is a bit hard to pin down. I found a few definitions floating around. This link has two: Trope: SuperCrip | #CriticalAxis: a community driven project from The Disabled List

The Supercrip is seen as having “overcome” their disability in order to do normal things or even extraordinary things— with a focus on their disability rather than their accomplishments.

The first part is avoided. The narrative doesn’t focus on how extra special it is that Toph is doing things like: walking, talking, eating soup, sitting with her family, yelling at Aang and his friends, etc. Toph is not seen as extra special for doing normal things that her disability does not make more difficult. Not only would this be patronizing and ignorant, this would reflect that attitudes many real life strangers have: disabled people are so strange and mystical to some people that they feel the need to ask blind people on the street how they walk or talk.

Personally, I find this portrayal of disabled people to be the most harmful. It caters to able-bodied onlookers alone and offers nothing for disabled people. To clarify: the problem is not portraying disabled people/characters doing normal things! The problem is expecting your audience to feel inspired because a disabled person did a thing that is completely ordinary for them.

This does not apply to Toph.

Another definition is that a disabled person is portrayed as “overcoming” their disability in order to do something cool/big, usually something able-bodied people don’t do everyday. This disabled person is only noteworthy because they did something extraordinary such as win several gold medals. This presents two problems: 1) it is hard for disabled people to meet these expectations, especially when this is shown as the only positive way to live with a disability. And 2) able-bodied people see this and believe all disabled people must be winning gold medals or doing super extraordinary things because their disability somehow gives them privilege, pity-points, or superhuman powers that make up for their disability. An example of these powers would be the myth that blind people have superhuman hearing rather than simply using their hearing more than sighted people and thus being more attuned to sound. An example of pity-points would be the time my family was watching Dancing With the Stars featuring a blind contestant. After the dance, someone remarked that the contestant would probably get sympathy points and go on to the next round. Her talent was not a factor the same way it was for the able-bodied contestants; pity-points could not be separated from her success. It was impossible that she would be supported and judged the same way as the others, with her blindness being only an extra factor that might make copying a dance to learn it more challenging for her. Keep in mind, these ideas are so ingrained in people that my own family believed it in even when they know me and several of my blind friends.

Let’s consider Tooh:

Pity-Points? - Not even a factor. This was not brought up by Aang, nor Katara, nor Sokka. It was certainly not thought of by the owner of the battle ring nor Toph’s opponents. In fact, she was only doubted when she lost. Her talent was never viewed as the result of someone else’s pity or reduced to inspiration for an able-bodied wrestling audience. The announcer says her name and nothing else. Her parents don’t bring up the idea that Toph only wins because she was pitied either. They witnessed her bending and only believed they needed to protect her more, not that she was not talented.

Privilege? - It is no question that Tooh’s family is rich. It is hard to say how much that affects her here. She has a tutor who undermines her growth and is pretty much useless. She has protection she doesn’t want and riches she doesn’t seem to use. She does have more free time to battle as a result of her riches, not having to work at a young age (although her parents probably would not have let her even if they needed the money). Toph’s family status could have been seen as playing a role in her winning— if her parents allowed the world to know about her. - It is no secret that Toph is rich, however, when privilege is brought up by able-bodied people, they don’t usually mean riches (although the stereotypical rich disabled person is something I could discuss at a later time). They usually mean some combination of government benefits that may or may not exist and pity points. Disability makes things HARDER, not easier. A person can have multiple privileges they did not earn, or lack of privileges they did not ask for. Toph does not gain special privileges due to her disability, nor does she ask for or expect them. My opinion is that no one asks for this, anyway.

Super-human? - This one is a little trickier. It is the one people are obviously hung up on when they consider Toph. It is difficult to consider this without considering Toph’s entire arc. However, I have chosen to focus on her bending and “sight” and how it is used in this episode. I may talk about this more if I do other reviews. - First, bending. Toph is not the only bender in the series. She is also not the only good bender, as Katara is also someone who grows into her bending and becomes particularly powerful. Aang is already a master of airbending in addition to being the Avatar. He is special and particularly powerful, mastering water quickly. Azula is also said to be a prodigy and has mastered lightning at 14. The point is, Toph is a powerful bender. She is not the only powerful bender in the world. The Avatar needs someone to teach him and that person would, reasonably, have mastered their bending in order to teach the Avatar. - Now for Toph’s bending in relation to her blindness. It is true that Toph is powerful AND blind— is she powerful in spite of being blind? Is she powerful because her blindness gives her superpowers? This is tricky. To me, the narrative doesn’t go out of its way to say “she overcame her blindness and was able to win”. It also doesn’t show blindness as a superpower, such as causing superior hearing. - How is it portrayed then? First, Toph never has to “overcome” her blindness, which is important. The obstacle is the limitations placed on her. The obstacle is society, not her disability. Toph does not need to accept her blindness before doing anything, because she has been blind since birth. She does not have to overcome her blindness before fighting or becoming a champion because when we are introduced to her, she already was. She is not expected to overcome her disability in order to teach Aang; he tries to recruit her without seeing her disability as an issue. She does not need overcome her disability because it is not what stops her, as is the case for most people. There are some things being blind makes difficult, different, or impossible to do, but this isn’t one of them. Blind people can learn to fight. They can win. And when people reduce such accomplishments as “overcoming disability”, it can feel like a misdirection, like a dismissal of hard work and talent.

This does not happen with Toph.

Second, does Toph’s blindness give her superpowers? Maybe. I feel like it might be necessary to cover Toph in other episodes. However, this review is focusing mostly on The Blind Bandit and so I will focus on Toph’s unique “sight”. Toph’s bending is unique from others because she can feel the vibrations in the ground, allowing her to sense objects and people. This ability allows her to fight and beat others. In my opinion, this is more of an adaptation perfected through sheer amount of practice. Katara and Zuko don’t always bend. Toph is using her bending constantly. Of course she would be good at it. Her bending is a tool for her use. Fighting? That’s just a bonus, a hobby.

Toph also has weaknesses and is in fact beaten by Aang, who wasn’t even trying. Losing to someone who had no intention of winning is a pretty big deal.

Personally, I don’t think Toph is a supercrip in this episode. She is a Blind Seer, a trope popular in literature. The Blind Seer can’t see physically, but they can see in other ways you can’t. I don’t have an issue with this trope and think it can be used in cool ways, especially if the blind character isn’t the only one with a superpower.

I do, however, want people to question why a blind character always needs to have a power that relates to or makes up for their lack of sight in some way. Unless you are making a deliberate allusion to something or a blind is not the only one with sight-related powers, I ask writers to question why they jump to sight-related powers in the first place. Or powers related to hearing, something to “make up for” their lack of sight.

Can this be done well? Absolutely. Toph, while she can fall into both The Blind Seer and the Supercrip tropes for some people, she is beloved and interesting for many fans, blind or sighted.

I ask people to trace their logic about why they choose to give their blind character powers related to sight. What kind of power is it? Does it make up for (aka erase) their blindness and make them less relatable to blind readers/watchers? Are they the only blind character and/or the only person with such a power? Can they have another power? What works and does not work for good characters like Toph? Why?

Getting rid of these particular tropes are not the answer. I simply invite people to consider other options, try new things, think critically about why and what woks or doesn’t work in other characters.

I absolutely invite blind writers to use whatever tropes they want, as they can probably write it in a more nuanced way.

My personal opinion about the Supercrip trope is that it is somehow focused on success or talent as the enemy without recognizing what it means. Wanting to succeed is not wrong. Being competitive is refreshing!

It isn’t really about doing super things or not— it is about disabled people being made to feel like they will not be successful, accepted, or taken seriously if they do not win everything or succeed at impossible feats. Able-bodied people are permitted to exist without needing to prove anything. Disabled people are not afforded that respect.

Either disabled people fight against the ingrained expectation that they simply cannot do anything, that will FAIL, because of their disability, or they fight against the realization that, for many people, even impossible feats will never be enough. Their accomplishments will never be seen as just that— accomplishments.

Blind characters should be talented or hard-working, prodigies or people who claw their way to the top. Their disability may be an obstacle and it may, in fact, barely even be necessary to mention aside from adaptive tools. The Supercrip is so alluring because people are under the impression blind people— and disabled people as a whole— cannot do anything. To the point that some condescendingly assume certain things are impossible because they did not think of adaptive techniques or technology. This is why research is important.

Remember why this trope/stereotype exists: for the inspiration of able-bodied people who are uninterested in making changes in society’s attitudes and the amount of accessibility it provides. Problematic tropes like this usually have a specific issue behind them and you cannot tackle or discuss r subvert the trope until you understand the harmful reason it exists.

Not everyone agrees with me. Here are some reading materials:

On the pervasive Supercrip trope in martial arts:

http://feministing.com/2010/02/19/media-portrayal-of-disability-and-martial-arts-a-personal-statement/

On the pressure this trope puts on blind people:

Challenging the ‘Supercrip’ Stereotype of People With Disabilities | The Mighty

[In the comments, I would prefer people not speculate about Toph being a Supercrip or not if they aren’t blind themselves. It would be more helpful to focus on other aspects of this review or share posts by other blind people instead.]

Keep in mind, this is only a review of one episode. And I personally will take a powerful disabled character over a powerless, sad one anytime.

This concludes our commercial break. Back to the show.

BEING BLIND IN EARTH KINGDOM SOCIETY

Earth Kingdom Boy 1: “Well, a flying boar is the symbol of the Beifong family. They’re the richest people in town. Probably whole world.” Earth Kingdom Boy 2: “Yeah, but they don’t have a daughter.”

Now this is interesting. It implies that Toph is: a) hiding herself well so as to keep up her double life and/or b) being hidden by her family. I suspect it is a little of both. A) is pretty obvious, especially with the wall surrounding their estate, while b) could be due to overprotectiveness or shame on the part of her parents. Shame may seem harsh. However, this is not exactly a modern time period and respect for disabled people can vary depending on culture, time, place, and individual attitudes.

When portraying poor social attitudes toward disabled characters, writers must work hard to show the attitudes as wrong and work to reduce them. I do feel that, like with gender discrimination, people tend to preemptively assume accepting disability is modern and Western concept- and that any ableism is fair game because it is realistic. That is far from the truth, especially if they get it wrong.

Too much and it could be mistaken for an excuse to be ableist. Too little and it may seem like erasure of societal barriers faced by blind people.

Let’s see how the ATLA writers handle this.

TOPH’S “SIGHT” AND MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

Anyway, the Gaang finds Toph again. Toph: “What are doing here, Twinkle Toes?” Aang: “How did you know it was me?”

Two things stick out here. I love that The Gaang interacts with her normally and this episode is not about the able-bodied characters learning how to treat a disabled person like a person, nor is it about them confronting their biases. Instead, they have a favor to ask, one that Toph cannot grant. The episode shifts focus onto Toph and her emotions and needs.

I also liked that Aang asks how she knew it was him. This is a common question and it seems to be asked in curiosity rather than implied judgment or suspicion on Aang’s part, as is often the case nowadays. Later in the episode, Toph explains how she knew, but she could also have recognized his footsteps (light as they are) with or without her bending. Blind people are also usually more reliant on hearing or smell and so may pick up on scents or sounds others do not. That is not to say their hearing or smell are superior (see the Supercrip discussion), but that they are used more often. This is how I conceptualize Toph’s bending— it is something she uses all day, every day. Like her hearing and smell and touch, she is more reliant on these senses and so uses them in ways others don’t.

I do wish we had a few more examples of this in the episode/show rather than Toph using her bending for every situation. As I said, I do not mind that she can “see” with bending as it is not true sight, but showing how she uses other senses would have been nice details.

TOPH’S PARENTS HAVE ENTERED THE RING

Toph: “I thought I heard something! I got scared.” Guard: “You know your father doesn’t want you wandering the grounds without supervision, Toph.”

With this, we can understand her father is overprotective, so much so that Toph is able to believably pull off this act of helplessness in front of the guards. Her father does not believe even walking around her own home is safe for her.

With that in mind, it is NOT a plot hole that she can walk around her home in front of her parents. Even overprotected blind kids don’t use canes or need a guide within their own homes as they often memorize the layout. Canes are not usually used inside ones own home or very familiar areas. Outside areas might be an exception as they are likely to change due to nature or redesign, but generally familiar, casual areas do not warrant canes or guides. It is completely believable that Toph can walk around in her own home without causing suspicion.

Toph’s father, indicating soup placed in front of her: “Blow on it. It’s too hot for her.”

Not only is her father overprotective, he is infantilizing. He thinks she can’t blow on her own soup and must be confined to basic stances of bending, something Toph is clearly unhappy with. Toph’s parents are the kind of people who wouldn’t let her watch TV lol!

Toph’s father: “And sadly, because of her blindness, I don’t think she will ever become a true master.”

There it is. There are many people in the world who have this mindset, believing disabled people succeeding is unrealistic, or only achieved by pity-driven intervention from others for inspirational purposes or a lie told by overly soft parenting. Toph’s father may seem radical, but his views are very common even for those close to a blind person. Even for those who might like the inspirational stories about blind people doing things.

HOW TOPH SEES THE WORLD

Toph: “It’s kind of like seeing with my feet.”

This is where I disagree with some interpretations of Toph. She can sense where things are and what they are. She has a wider range than someone with a cane would. However, I don’t know if this is quite erasing her blindness. Could they have done better? Yes. However, to claim the show made her sighted with magic is not quite fitting to me. Toph is not seeing with a magical potion, nor did Katara heal her blindness. She is using a power a lot of people in the ATLA universe have in bending, one she has used her entire life and perfected through sheer number of practice hours. I think it helps that she did not get this power, narratively, because she was blind. Rather she is a blind person who adapted a skill to her use.

A cane or an animal guide might have helped make the narrative more relatable for blind people, however. They could have also played up being unable to see people’s facial expressions. In other episodes, they show areas where she is unable to bend, such as on ice, sand, or floating objects like the warship or Appa.

In these instances, they could have shown sighted guide.

However, I think what they did worked. Would I suggest anyone else try it? Maybe not. It depends on their motivation for doing it. Toph’s powers basically act as a cane or Sunnu band would. They aren’t a magic spell letting her see all the time.

They could have done a little better— I still think it worked. It does not seem to have unfortunate implications of sight being better than blindness or blindness needing special cures.

For writing purposes, it is important to understand why this worked, how it was portrayed, factor in that bending is not unique to Toph, understand the nature of her ‘sight’, and understand what they could have done better. Just because it works here doesn’t mean it will work everywhere. It is important for writers to understand that and question their motivation for giving their character a different kind of vision.

THE DISABILITY EPISODE - AVOIDED

Toph’s father: “My daughter is blind. She is blind and tiny and helpless and fragile. She cannot help you.” Toph: “Yes. I can.”

Some may feel uncomfortable that Toph’s first episode is about her parents doubting her, dealing with ableism and being forced into stereotypes by her own family. It is important to remember that this is a show for children and any blind children watching it will have dealt with similar issues from adults in their lives. The show doesn’t seem to say this is the only narrative a blind character can have, but rather that it is a relatable occurrence for blind children who are watching it.

Toph also has many episodes left — this is only the beginning. This is hardly her only arc, and even her personality and abilities challenge so many stereotypes.

In most shows, the blind character gets one episode. Toph, however, is a main character.

Toph is also a well-rounded and interesting character with agency. She hardly seems like an inspirational puppet for adults.if this show had been written for adults or if Toph had been focusing on wanting to become a champion “despite her blindness”, I might have felt upset. It goes to show how important nuance is when writing disabled characters and how powerful it can be to make an effort to challenge stereotypes.

This is not how we first see Toph— helpless, unproductive. Instead, we FIRST see her out in the world kicking butt with her bending skill and I think that it is important.

NOT SO HELPLESS AFTER ALL

Toph’s father uses these words to describe her: Tiny, helpless, fragile. Unable to help others. Unexpected to become a true master or even advance beyond breathing techniques.

Toph challenges all of these at some point. She helps Aang defeat the bad guys. She faces many people in battle and wins, remaining an undefeated champion until Aang accidentally beats her. She advances far beyond basic bending techniques. Toph is good at very active things, with bending as a martial art and as a sport here. It is refreshing to see blind characters being so active and a stark contrast to the passive image her father has of his blind daughter. She does things for herself, including developing her bending style without the help of a master who limits her- and she hides her double life well. Toph’s ability and personality also challenge notions of fragility: she is boisterous and fearless, stubborn and even a bit rude. She mostly says what she wants to and fiercely hides what she doesn’t want to, even when pressured. She yielded only to her parents, which is tied up in love, respect, fear that they will no longer love her, possible aversion to change in some aspects of her life, and cultural expectations. For disabled children, it is often hard to go against your parents because the world teaches you that the world will never accept you or allow you to live in it. Your family is all you have.

Toph IS tiny, although that is due to genetics, environmental factors, and her age. However, her stature is used to prove the other qualities assigned to her when in reality her height has nothing to do with anything her family believes about her.

When the fighting starts, Toph creates a cloud of dust which effectively blinds her opponents. I thought it was a nice, ironic touch. The point is not just that her opponents now cannot see; Toph is already used to fighting under these conditions. She didn’t level the playing field. She is already better than them, already used to working without sight, and so the advantage is hers.

ABLEISM IN ACTION

Later, Toph confronts her parents:

Toph’s father: “You will be cared for and guarded 24/7.” Toph’s mother: “We are doing this for your own good, Toph.”

Unfortunately, this kind of infantilization is not uncommon. They saw her as she truly was and were still unable to let go of their ideas of their blind daughter. At this point, Toph is more trapped than ever despite opening up. The first time, it was surprising to see them not change their minds, given the happy endings we are used to in children’s shows. However, what happens is more relatable to blind kids with overprotective or controlling parents.

Of course, Toph makes the choice to leave them, showing more agency than most blind characters get, with or without controlling parents.

OVERALL

Overall: I loved this episode. It was a nice introduction to a character that both challenged expectations and dealt with obstacles relatable to blind fans. Toph’s struggles with her parents and the weight of stereotypes could have been cheap inspiration porn, but the way it was handled and the target audience of children rather than adults changes things immensely. This episode goes out of its way to challenge many stereotypes viewers may hold about blind people in ways that are fun and exciting. Toph’s personality is refreshing even over a decade later. While her bending as ‘sight’ may be disliked by some, it feels more like something with missed opportunities (the use of a cane or sighted guide), although I thought this episode did it well. Toph is not given special powers so that she can see—she adapts an ability for her own use.

Toph is a martial artist, encouraging children to try something similar if they are interested. She challenges her own parents, which may be very relatable to blind fans.

Unlike most children’s shows of the time (and even now), Toph does not feel like a vessel for able-bodied viewers to learn about blindness.

ACCESSIBILITY:

However, it is important to remember that at the time ATLA aired, there was no Netflix with audio descriptions. Descriptions were infrequent at the time and are still spotty on cable TV. The ATLA DVD did not have audio descriptions either, which is the case with all DVDs I have come across. Netflix also took an embarrassingly long time to add audio descriptions to a show with a blind character.

Consider that Toph was nearly inaccessible to blind children at the time — until 2020, well after other sighted children could enjoy it fully. Blind children could not watch a show about them with the same ease that a sighted child could. Think about that.

Is the show to blame for this? I don’t know. Usually the broadcasting service handles descriptions. I have yet to come across a DVD with descriptions. However, I wonder why it took this long. Did the staff consider a blind audience at all? Could they have pushed for descriptions to be added to the DVD?

And what about fans? Did fans consider that the character who challenged stereotypes for them might not be as accessible to blind people themselves? While they scrabbled about whether the characters were ableist, did they bother to consider Netflix’s lack of audio descriptions? Do they remember to add image descriptions to GIFs, pictures, or video clips in the years ATLA was popular online? Did any of this occur to anyone BUT the blind community?

Doesn’t seem like it.

TOPH AND THINGS I WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF/LESS OF IN BLIND CHARACTERS

I made a post about things I would like to see more/less of in blind characters. You can read it here:

https://blindbeta.tumblr.com/post/637419979125489664/things-i-want-to-see-more-ofless-of-in-blind

Here’s how Toph compares to that!

More of: -Blind main character ✔️ -Blind character of color ✔️ -Active (sports/martial arts) and competitive ✔️ -Acknowledgment of difficulties faced in society ✔️

How They Avoided Things I Wanted Less Of: -Being portrayed as sad or broken because of blindness - Avoided - Toph owns her blindness by giving herself the same The Blind Bandit. The only time she is sad is when facing ableism from her parents.

-Being innocent, helpless, and unrealistically kind or selfless - Toph proves she is not helpless, even directly challenging it in the narrative. - Toph is also not unrealistically kind or selfless, not only insulting other characters- but refusing to help Aang when he needs it because it would change things between her and her parents. She also challenges her parents in the end, putting her desires before their feelings toward their perceptions of her. When she follows Aang, she doesn’t do so only to help him. She has her own want to travel and gain independence. - As for innocence, Toph IS 12, although she is far from naive. She is able to fool her own parents into thinking she is who they want her to be.

-Being portrayed as ungrateful or rude in general - Toph’s rudeness comes from a non-ableist place—herself. She is not rude due to anger about being blind nor rude due to entitlement. She doesn’t accept she doesn’t need and is not demonized for this, even when going against her own parents. Toph’s rudeness is in her personality, making it subversive in avoiding the idea blind people must accept all help and be grateful for it. The narrative does NOT expect Toph to go along with the ‘help’ of her parents or even Aang. She refuses this help until she is ready and willing to receive it.

-Going blind due to accidents or trauma - Toph was born blind

I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO SEE: -more adaptive technology/skills in addition to her bending -how she utilizes her other senses -another blind, minor character somewhere in the show (doesn’t apply to this episode, but still)

Toph is, in the end, a token blind character. It works better because she is a MAIN character, which is still not a common occurrence in modern media at all. Toph works because she does not have any stereotypical traits about her personality, which means the sighted audience does not have to rely on another character to broaden their perspective. However, it is still important to include more than one blind character in your stories. For ATLA, 1 or 2 minor blind characters may have helped, or maybe an additional secondary or even main character with low vision.

Toph has a well-rounded personality, which also means the “token” is not completely applicable to her. Toph is a great character. It would have been nice if she were not the only blind character. In fact, I cannot think of any show that has more than one blind character, as if it is a character quirk that cannot be done more than once.

RANDOM IMAGINES TIME

Now I’m imagining a Zuko whose eyesight was affected by the burn or a Zuko whose father decided he didn’t need that side of face anyway if he could not see out of it. Or an Azula who is blind and still better than Zuko -sticks out tongue-! Or perhaps Sokka or Ty Lee contrasting Toph’s personality and bringing to the table a struggle with a lack of depth perception while hunting or performing in the circus, respectively.

The point is, you don’t have to overload your story with blind characters unless you are setting it at a school or event for the blind. Instead, consider who is blind in your story and who else possibly could be. Consider why you only have one blind character and why.

That about wraps up all my thoughts on Toph. In short, I love her. There are things they could have done better or additions they could have made to improve the episode and Toph’s character as a whole, but she is still one of the most beloved and recognizable blind characters ever. I think that says something about the impression she left on people.

If only she would have been accessible to more blind children from the start.

I hope this review was helpful! If you need help writing blind characters I provide sensitivity reading in exchange for donations. My inbox is also open for questions.

#avatar the last airbender #toph #toph beifong #writing blind characters #blind #blindbeta

733 notes · View notes

randommusersmusings · 4 years

Text

Childfree CAN be freeing: A Response to a Response

“'Childfree' may not be as freeing as it sounds”. The name of the article by a mother named Tamara that I accidentally stumbled on, browsing Google with my free (of children) time. The article was meant to be a reply, of sorts, to the Guardian's “Childfree Women” series. I rolled my eyes. Here we go, I thought. Another person who thinks being childfree is an attack on mothers everywhere. Another argument to birth children we don't want to have. Another rebuttal to our reasonings, fears, and wants, trying to strip it all away until we reach the conclusion that we can now just go ahead and start making babies, and you're welcome, by the way, for making up your mind for you. Maybe it's not that bad though, I thought. Besides, it's fair for her to voice how she feels. I clicked on the article. “I wonder where they've put all the articles that make the case for having kids,” it began. I clicked off the article. I'm not subjecting myself to that, I thought. But curiosity killed the cat, as they say, and I have to imagine it's that same curiosity that led to me crawling right back to that article. Still reading, still trying to make sense of it. Where are the articles for having kids? Well, let's see if I can answer that.

“...talks about opting out of having kids for a number of purposes, most of which struck me as excuses rather than really good reasons”. Did... I miss something? Pray tell what is a “good reason” to not want kids? Who do we report to, and do we need a note from our doctors? In any case, one of the reasons (or “excuses”) was the overpopulation of the planet and climate change, and fear of exacerbating both issues by adding more children to it. Tamara's argument was that one can simply counter their offspring's existence by donating to charities and organizations that battle climate change. There's a few things wrong with that. Number 1: we still just don't want kids. Number 2: she's assuming we have money. If we don't have money to spend on children then how do we have money to spend on charities? Now on the other hand, we do have enough wealth and resources on the planet to feed everyone, and to maintain ourselves and any children we see fit to bring into this world. If we only spread the wealth and share the resources. Ah. There's the catch, we're doing exactly the opposite of that. Families are still living in poverty in... everywhere, while the rich get richer. Families already struggle in a world where one medical emergency can shoot a family far down the poverty well, then take the ladder away.

“...also talks about kids being difficult and costly, but isn't anything worthwhile the same”. Not always, actually, but for the sake of argument let's say sure. Not only can I now refer back to my previous point (we have no money) but I'll raise Tamara the problems that can come with wanting to do all the things you find worthwhile. Where is everyone going to get all the money they need to provide a good living situation for their kids and also, say, go to college? Not only would that be incredibly costly in terms of our money, but also in our time. It can be done, sure, but it's hard, and only gets harder the less money, time, and overall privilege we have. If your spouse isn't supportive, if your have a job, if you have no one to watch your kids during the day, if you have no car, need to bus it, and be back in time to make dinner—the list goes on. It can be so, so hard to be able to do everything you want to do with a tight budget, and the time and demands can simply be too much for the person trying to do them. It can be done, we've seen it before, but there's a reason those stories stand out. It's because they don't happen often. So if a uterus-bearer decides they want to prioritize their education and/or career over having children, then more power to them, I say. It's a fair choice for many in a world where's it's near impossible to have it all.

“...insists...it is not selfish for a woman to decide to never have a child”. It's not. “...But I can say that having children does involve selflessness”. Well...in theory, yes. Sadly not always in practice, though. But do continue. “A woman’s body changes for her child, her mind changes for her child; every moment is affected by the existence of that child”. We know. That's what we're trying to avoid. “I, for one, think personal growth involves being more selfless, and if having kids helps with that, then great”. Well sure, unless we don't want to actually raise a kid. I'm sorry but what's so difficult to understand about that? One can grow as a person without forcing a child to come along as a crutch to help one deal with their emotional baggage, thank you. In fact, I would argue it's much more beneficial to do whatever you need to do (therapy, medication, anything) to help manage your struggles, and then bring a child into the world if you see fit. For many people, dealing with their issues as well as their child's issues can hinder their personal growth, rather than help it. Not everyone seems to want to hear this, but children don't “fix” a parent's problems and they don't “fix” the parent. Managing problems is so personal to each individual, and it's frankly dangerous and irresponsible to tell them having a child will help with their personal growth. That's just not always the case.

“Sources please? I don't hear women being told that their only value is domestic”. Well Tamara isn't listening enough, then. Here's the thing about getting sources on something like this: it's awfully hard to do. The problem is it's not something that we have proof of just laying under couch cushions like loose change. It's an attitude, an idea, ingrained into society. In the way we talk, in our attitudes, our assumptions. How often do we hear about the lazy stay at home mom trope? Now if this has never been an issue for Tamara, then great! No seriously, that's good to hear, because that's how it should be! But the problem is, that's not everyone's experience, and it isn't the norm, either. Society has this unspoken assumption that a woman is going to stay home, take care of house and kids, and split precisely zero of these responsibilities with her husband, whom she also takes care of. Children assumed to be female at birth are pretty much trained to take care of the house and the men in it once they're old enough to stand. How many families leave the menfolk to watch football or drink a beer and talk while the women (including children) cook, clean up, and otherwise serve the men, before they are allowed to enjoy themselves, too? Don't ever try to tell me that women and feminized people aren't valued for their domestic contributions more-so than men, and that there's no pressure on them to prioritize that over everything else. Just don't.

Now, this next point...it made me angry, I won't lie. The author recounts how a couple of women writing in didn't want to have children, as their families were alcoholics and neither wanted to pass on their addictive genes. To that: “Having a loved one who has struggled with addiction and has now been in recovery for many years, I see that the lessons he can pass on to his kids – whether they have addictive personalities or not – are so, so valuable. He is more the inspiring person for the difficulties he has been through and overcome, and he is evidence of the good that can come out of suffering”. I...how dare she? How dare she diminish those women's experiences like that? Listen, I'm glad her loved one is doing well, okay? I am. But I'm sure he would be heartbroken to watch any of his kids go through what he did, knowing how hard it was for him. Also, to be frank, not everyone does overcome those struggles. Not having experience with addictions myself, I'm reluctant to talk too much about this. I haven't seen or lived with this. But please, if you read how someone grew up with parents struggling with addiction, and talking about not wanting to pass that struggle on to their own kids, don't counter with “A world devoid of suffering doesn't help kids –teaching them how to move on from it is what counts”. It's tone-deaf, dismissive, and sickening.

“Yes, there are burdens associated with being a parent”. We still know that. We still want to avoid those. “But there is also the freedom of choosing to love, choosing to live for others...to be less self-seeking”. Oh my God. Choosing to love? Excuse you? Is this that “you don't know real love until you have children” thing? Do I, She Without Children, actually hate my parents, my pets, and my brother, because I don't have the love of a child? Man I hate that argument. It's truly pointless. Many childfree people are perfectly capable of feeling love, as is...any human being out there, really. Also, “choosing to live for others” doesn't necessarily have to mean bringing kids into the world. If one wants to one can adopt a kid already here and waiting for a good home. One can volunteer at or donate clothing and food to a homeless shelter. One can donate to charities, if you have the funds to. Adopt a pet from a shelter. There are so many ways someone can make other's lives richer, and procreating isn't the be all end all to that selflessness. Which again, doesn't always happen. “If you ask me, there’s still a very strong case for motherhood”. There is, and that's if you actually want to have children.

Well. There we have it. “I wonder where they've put all the articles that make the case for having kids”. Do I have an answer? I think I do. Go and read her article. I'll wait. Back? Good. Now, in that whole article, the tone implies that people with a uterus definitely want to have kids. Like the default is just “you want kids”. Of course you do. What do you mean you don't? Why don't you want kids? There it is. When women and feminized people don't want kids, that's an attitude that's outside of the norm society has imposed on us. We don't want kids, so now we have to argue out way through an invisible judge and jury to give us permission to feel that way. The pro-motherhood sentiment is already all around us, in societal pressures, in the media we consume, in our medical practices. Uterus-bearers are often turned down for medical sterilization on the grounds that they “might change their minds”, or worse, their husbands might want kids. This line has been used on people who aren't even married. Our bodies are already forbidden from being ours on the grounds they belong to men. Sometimes hypothetical men we haven't met yet! That's why it's time, finally, to give childfree people the platform we need to let our voices be heard. To explain something that we should be able to say in five words: “I just don't want to”. So instead of counter-pointing and arguing and trying to get people to change their minds about deeply personal decisions about their own bodies, just stop, and try listening to us instead.

#feminism #feminist #femnists #childfree #lifestyle #childfreelife #motherhood #tw: alcohol #tw: abuse #childfreewomen #writing #lifechoices #child-free #life #canwestoparguingaboutthisalready

8 notes · View notes

seasaltmemories · 5 years

Text

For Pretty Lies and Their Brutal Truths Chapter 8

It’s impressive that even after all of the crap she’s been put through, Celica hasn’t lost her will to live. The first thing she does when jolted awake by the water is to fight for her life.

Celica, understandably panicked, instinctually lashes out. All she can process at first is physical sensations, the feel of a hand, a shout, a burning scent. She’s unable to pin down what causes these impressions or how they fit in together.

As with any cornered animal, she’s indiscriminately dangerous to anyone who approaches.

It takes her a minute to calm down enough to realize she hasn’t been blinded and the water isn’t that deep.

The dread builds up inside Celica as her eyes adjust and she sees the injury she’s inflicted on that poor maid (an extensive and graphic injury). What must make it worse is this isn’t a battlefield, the girl wasn’t a soldier, but because of her lapse in control she hurt a civilian.

Celica’s mind is still sluggish.

Emotionally, Celica’s so numb (hollowed out after the all-encompassing terror of her awakening) that the horror of the situation doesn’t fully faze her (although from the way she fixates on that one servant’s glare seems to imply guilt or shame on her part). Which may be a blessing in this case.

Celica’s not even concerned about passing out and possibility drowning or being left vulnerable. She’s too exhausted from the spell.

Celica’s surprised they let her live, after what she unintentionally did.

What’s interesting is that she’s not nearly as freaked waking up restrained and blindfolded than she had been in the bath. It’s what she’s grown accustomed to, so its absence upset her.

Jedal continues to gaslight her. Claiming she chose to “repent” when she hadn’t said a word to that effect.

Judging from her wet hair Celica deduces that she hadn’t been unconscious long (unless, of course, they really wanted to be dicks and deliberately soaked her hair) and clings to that fact.

Jedah makes a transparent attempt to guilt-trip her, telling her the girl will be scarred for life.

I’m glad that Celica’s knee-jerk reaction is irritation at Jedah for lambasting her over one mistake when he’s done all he can to destroy her psychologically.

Jedah isn’t really angry on the girls’ behalf. If he was, he wouldn’t be using the girl’s disfigurement as a lesson to Celica to cooperate with them, claiming they only want to “help” her.

Looks as if Jedah switching tactics. No doubt thinking his brainwashing would be much more effective if he offered her a “reward” for “good” behavior.

Much to her disgust, Celica’s very tempted (who wouldn’t be?). She recognizes his trick but she’s been worn down too much to reject it (it feels like she’s making a deal with the devil).

Jedah makes Celica feel as if she’s already lost, by saying she’s already fulfilled her end of the bargain.

I got chills when I read, “Jedah’s tone had grown soft and low…” God, what a creep. A creep with a lot of unchecked power.

Celica has an uncontrollable fit of laughter. A bitter laughter that sounds it skirts the edge of a breakdown.

Celica was accepts Jedah’s “terms” because, as she points out, she has nothing to lose. I thoroughly hope Celica makes him regret giving her this opportunity.

Celica’s circumstances change so quickly it gives her mental whiplash.

She’s given the best of everything, from clothes to food to board but it doesn’t change the fact that she’s their prisoner. Everything she does is closely monitored, her access to the castle is severely restricted and the soldiers ostensibly there for her protection are prepared to strike her down at the slightest provocation (on the whole, it seems her position has mostly reverted back to what it was just before that fateful expedition to Milla’s temple).

The idea of giving in is enticing. To not have to concern herself with anything beyond her own comfort (as her father did) but it’s not in Celica’s nature to take the easy way out nor could she be content to live her whole life as a captive.

It’s sad to read Celica beat herself up for thinking she could save Zofia. It’s not her realizing she couldn’t do it on her own (no one could), it’s that she lost faith in her actions having any effect at all in the grand scheme of things.

Ah, I love how you sneak in a reference to the title!

She may no longer be physically in the dungeon but her time there definitely left its mark. Just listening to Jedah give his spiel about Duma and repentance reminds her body of the humiliation and pain she suffered at his hands.

I didn’t expect her current situation to be analogous to the previous one at Sage Hamlet, considering that this time she’s surrounded by her enemies rather than her allies. But the confusion the accompanies a transition from a hostile situation to a relatively more comfortable one remains the same.

Unable to settle on the “appropriate” emotional response, Celica elects to protect herself with numbness instead.

Celica withdraws into herself. She notices that something big is happening (it’s impossible not to) but she deliberately tunes it out. That is, until it becomes simply unavoidable.

General Ezekiel appears almost hilariously inept. What kind of military personnel launches into a debrief (no doubt revealing sensitive information) without first making sure where they are and who they’re talking to? Emperor Rudolf puts his trust in the strangest people.

Even if she has a good inkling of what’s going on now, it’s not like she can do anything about it. The forced helplessness must be grating.

The situation has gotten so dire that they want Celica’s assistance in dealing with it.

I don’t think a reunion with her tumultuous husband and his family (consisting of a father-in-law who greenlit the invasion and sanctioned her interrogation and a sadistic cousin-in-law who gleefully stabbed her) is gonna work as an incentive, Jedah.

Saying her cooperation would bring “peace” to Valentia isn’t going to cut it either since she knows everything that comes out of his mouth is just manipulative bullshit.

Celica gives him no response so Jedah continues talking (he just loves the sound of his own voice, doesn’t he?).

Jedah doesn’t want to let Celica out from under his thumb. In her own mind, Celica retorts that he would so hate having to do the dirty work of “reeducating” her all over again. (Celica tends to hold her tongue in front of Jedah and I wonder if it’s a conscious defense mechanism or if it’s something ingrained in her, like her body’s trembling during his lectures).

Celica agrees to cooperate, hyper-conscious of Jedah’s mood and just hoping to avoid another screaming fit (god their dynamic gives me the creeps).

Celica thinks the rebels made her wellbeing a stipulation for the negotiation because of her position as Zofia’s princess, not out of any personal fondness or loyalty to her (perhaps that’s true but maybe it’s not).

The task is far more involved and treacherous than she initially assumed. They’re essentially asking her to put her enemy’s needs over her homeland’s.

Celica doesn’t put up any objections (planning to take advantage of the opportunity to collude with the rebels).

Rigel authorities do seem to be putting an inordinate amount of trust in Celica. It’s suspicious.

Celica briefly entertains the hope that this will lead to greater freedom in future but she quickly quashes the thought. Things will continue as they are after they get what they need out of her.

Jedah isn’t worried for Celica’s safety as he’s concerned with keeping her isolated and malleable.

Celica accepts the assignment. It tears her up inside, even if it’s in service of striking a blow against Rigel, but she’s resolute.

Jedah smiles at Celica, probably congratulating himself for a job well done in breaking the strong-willed Zofia princess.

Preparations for the negotiations means there’s less time and attention devoted to monitoring Celica, which is fine with her. It gives her more time to mull over what her “last words” to Zofia should be (which signifies she either expects to be killed afterwards or forbidden to see Zofia and interact with her kingsmen or both).

Rigel seems to be sending a not-so-subtle message about where Celica’s allegiance (supposedly) lie by dressing her up in the Rigelian fashion.

I’m surprised there are maids willing to get close enough to do her hair, clothes and make-up.

This aspect of her new life, to play the role expected of her by the powers-that-be and used for her value as a tool or an ornament, is not so different from her old life as a princess of Zofia (admittedly, getting caught not toeing the line has far steeper consequences). It’s stifling but it’s an useful survival mechanism (or so she constantly reminds herself in order to get through it).

She’s shaken when she realizes who her so-called bodyguard is. It’s the same man who brutalized and stabbed her. Whose bright idea was this?

Celica freezes up with fear. She notes derisively that she’s been doing that a lot lately (not that she doesn’t have good reason to be frightened, when she’s frequently put in the custody of the men who hurt her the most).

Berkut’s attitude pisses me off (which is the point, so kudos). It doesn’t even occur to him that, after their last encounter, Celica would (rightly) be terrified to see him and worst, he has zero sympathy or patience with her.

Celica seems to be on the verge of a panic attack. Her mind cycles rapidly between flight or fight (which I think is the reason why all the associations she has with fire (both as a wielder and nearly one of its victims) rush through her head).

Berkut invades her personal space as an intimidation tactic and it activates Celica’s “fight” response. As with her attack on the maid, she blackouts from fear and doesn’t even realize what she’s done at first (only this time she just pushed back instead of casting a spell).

I was so scared for Celica then, of what Berkut would do to her in retaliation.

Berkut wastes no time in physically and metaphorically “putting Celica in her place.” Telling her she will always be beneath them (I hate him. So much).

Berkut’s words ignite Celica’s rage. Despite everything that’s happened, she recognizes she deserves better than this. She deserves respect.

Although it’s not as surprising in retrospect, Celica doesn’t think her father’s “whores” have the same inherent worth as her. So it’s alright for them to get smacked around the same way she’s being smacked around.

Celica bluffs and insinuates that she’s pregnant. She doesn’t have to worry about keeping up the lie for long since Berkut immediately sees through it.

Berkut is correct, but for the wrong reasons. In his mind, if they already had sex then Alm wouldn’t be so hung up on her (as if the only reason in be interested in someone is for their body).

Berkut somehow manages to slut-shame someone he believes to be a virgin (it’s almost impressive, in a horrid kind of way).

It’s gross how he pushes all of the blame for Alm’s sullen, obsessive behavior on Celica when it should be placed solely on Alm instead.

Celica’s anger at Berkut hasn’t abated one bit but all the same she’s struck by the way he hadn’t hesitated to ruin her hair or make-up. It either means her role in the negotiations isn’t vital enough to protect her or he hates her so much he’d think nothing of jeopardizing them. It signals that she shouldn’t push her luck. So she bottles up her rage, something she’s gotten far too used to doing by now, and she busies herself with tidying up her appearance (just enough so it’s not quite so obvious she was just whaled on).

With no introductions or announcements, the Zofia faction arrive. To Celica’s total surprise, Mathilda is the one representing the Deliverance.

Mathilda is excited and relieved to see Celica alive and relatively unharmed (I guess she didn’t put much stock in Rigel’s word). Contrary to Celica’s belief, perhaps there was some genuine friendship between them.

Celica’s too numb from the shock to properly respond. It’s plain to see she’d prefer it if someone else had come in Mathilda’s place.

It turns out that Mathilda blames herself for them getting separated (which she apologizes profusely for, despite it not being her fault) and has been worried sick about Celica ever since.

Celica is taken aback by this uncharacteristic display of affection (I can almost hear her brain going, “does not compute, does not compute”). She doesn’t feel that their relationship is deep enough to justify it. She convinces herself that it isn’t her, the “real” Celica (who she thinks is weak and pathetic), that Mathilda or the Deliverance want but the strong, steadfast Zofia leader that she pretended to be. She admonishes herself for deceiving them.

Mathilda notices how disheveled Celica looks and is ready to make Rigel pay for their abuse.

Celica denies that she’s been mistreated, claiming she’s been treated like Rigel royalty and coming up with a lame excuse to explain away the bruise. Mathilda doesn’t buy it.

Celica bursts out that she’s staying (considering that she was looking straight at Berkut right before she said it, it was likely motivated out of concern for Mathilda’s safety since he probably has very specific instructions about preventing her from leaving).

Doing it feels like a betrayal but she lies and says her allegiances is with Rigel now, that she belongs here.

This is so sad and so frustrating to read because this might have been her only chance to escape but she couldn’t let herself take it.

Mathilda objects since, through her, Rigel would “legitimately” control Zofia’s throne.

Celica seamlessly integrates the coded message into the conversation (seriously, it sounds so natural). It’s really fortuitous that Mathilda, one of the few people fluent in this code, came to this meeting.

Celica is able to covertly pass the information on and it will hopefully lead to Halcyon, Sage’s Hamlet and the Deliverance teaming up.

She’s afraid her brother didn’t make it out of the ambush. But she won’t let herself dwell too long on the possibility. Once again, she shoves her feeling aside for her mission, for survival.

Celica has completely given up on herself. The best she can hope for is her efforts to contribute in some way to Milla and Zofia’s liberation (;-;).

My heart breaks for Celica all over again. She had to keep close to Berkut’s side and watch as he fought the Deliverance representatives (holding nothing back) which triggered the traumatic memories of their own battle.

Just when she’s gotten away from Berkut, she has to deal with Alm and all of the unpleasant and confusing feelings he stirs up.

Alm warns her not to scream, or else the guards will take him away, not realizing that that might give her more reason to shout.

The same impulse to drown in Mathilda’s affection, that which made her resolution waver earlier, returns full force and prevents her from turning Alm away, much to her frustration (after all, she knows firsthand how dangerous he can be).

Celica’s wrung out. Alm’s presence is a (sometimes explicit) threat but she doesn’t have it in her to sustain that level of heightened fear forever. Eventually, it becomes the new norm.

Celica sets up a test for Alm. It’s risky because if Alm’s as horny as Berkut alleges, then it’s very likely he’d go further than ogling her as she undresses. Thankfully, nothing untoward happens. Much to Celica’s surprise, Alm seemed to have had his eyes averted the whole time (as entitled and oblivious as he can be, at least Alm can refrain from acting like a pig).

Celica believes this just proves he’s good at concealing his intentions.

Celica sits with her back to him, facing the mirror, so she can discreetly study his body language without his knowing while hiding her own reactions from him.

Alm tries to apologize for what Jedah’s done, saying it shouldn’t have been allowed. But Celica’s not letting him off the hook. If anything, his apology makes him look worst because he admits it was wrong yet he still let it happen.

Alm’s response is to deflect responsibility, saying he had no say in the matter which, while true, steers the conversation towards his frustrations and away from Celica’s feelings (the one whose feelings should be given priority).

Celica asks him point-blank what he means by “take care of.” Alm doesn’t answer, just acts all confused that she’d even need clarification. This frustrates Celica to no end (I’m with her), especially when it feels like he isn’t even trying to understand her point-of-view and her well-founded misgivings about him.

Once again, Celica has to suppress her anger and hold her tongue since it could lead to her spilling secrets that the Rigelians rather her not know at all.

Celica offers herself up to Alm (in a thoroughly mocking way). It feels like another test but one she’s certain Alm won’t pass.

Celica expects Alm to take advantage of her. The prospect is repulsive but at least then it would happen on her own terms and she won’t have to live in dread of the possibility any longer.

She’s astonished when Alm chooses instead to gently stroke her cheek, specifically over the bruise from Berkut’s punch (does he know his cousin did that?).

Alm gives Celica a sorrowful look. Alm repeats his sentiment earlier that none of this should ever have happened to her and expresses horror over the fact his own countrymen condone this barbaric treatment of “their own woman” (I guess he must consider Celica at least partly Rigelian).

Celica almost retorts that Berkut had so such reservations. Obliterate his naive beliefs. But she can’t. She’s too starved for affection to turn away from it now.

If her mind couldn’t accept that a long-time ally of her’s would be worried sick about her, it must be inconceivable that Alm, enemy of all she holds dear, would shed tears over her treatment.

Okay, I believe Alm’s sorry but the big question is, what’s he gonna do to improve Celica’s situation? Apologies don’t mean much if not followed up by action.

Alm asks Celica to show him the rest of her bruises and Celica acquiesces. She’s self-aware enough to realize her thirst for affection is impairing her judgement but she can’t stop herself either.

It’s so heartbreaking that she would prefer to be exploited and abused than to have her guard pulled down like this and be left so achingly vulnerable.

Alm’s touches remain sweet and gentle. He doesn’t escalate things but it feels like the most intimate night the two of them had shared thus far. And probably something Celica will come to deeply regret in the morning.

Everything about the chapter was spectacular but I was especially blown away by the characterizations! Even Berkut’s vileness feels frighteningly realistic. And throughout it all, I just wanted to reach in, wrap Celica up in a warm blanket and tell her that there are people who care about her beyond her role as a princess or political tool or shadow of her former self. Not to mention, the chemistry between Alm and Celica is so well-done that even though Alm still hasn’t taken many steps towards reevaluating his worldview and being more conscious and considerate of Celica’s precarious position, a part of me still roots for them as a couple. Great work!!!

I’ve said this before, but this was honestly my first time really slowing down so I wanted to make sure to kinda tackle the roller coaster of events everyone has gone through and dig deep, so I’m glad it worked!

A big idea of this chapter was Celica’s growing apathy, which is something very foreign to her that is starting to become familiar, she is a pro at imagining conflicts on a conceptual level (it’s something she did at the start with how she viewed her marriage to Alm) and so when viewing it from there it is very easy to write herself out of the picture, so she can care about wanting Zofia free without even dreaming she could be a part of that

Berkut in general is tricky thing to write bc tbh this is his chilled out version, he was really unstable in-canon, but while I wanted to show the difference with him not having a superiority-inferiority complex, I still wanted to keep the position he occupies in game of representing a lot of Rigel’s worst flaws, so I went with this sort of irreverence. He snarks a lot more, treats everything like game, bc he’s had little skin in most situations, with Celica he doesn’t mistreat her because he hates her, but because he doesn’t care about her, to him she is this little mouthy honeytrap that ensnared Alm, so someone at least needs to keep her in check

As with Mathilda, most of her shock came from the idea that “holy shit someone cares about me” in-game the Deliverance was formed from the royal knights so while she wasn’t sure who would come, she thought her code might work with others

Alm and Celica’s talk also ended on a more positive feeling than I thought it would, while their relationship is far from repaired for the reasons you listed, to a certain degree Alm offers her more power than anyone else, specially through sex, but at the same time that power can be taken away from her so easily so it is just as confusing as everything else, like the last line of her trembling for two different reasons is because that fear and arousal exist in tandem, and on one hand he could do whatever he wants with her, but on the other hand it feels like almost a slight to not be ogled if that is all she is worth, and on the third there is this idea of trying to take control by allowing herself to be treated like a sex toy, but then affection and feelings is a whole ‘nother game, one she knows she is much weaker to, but oh how nice is it

With Alm, he’s kinda in the process of deciding what person he is, part of the reason for treating her like glass is not just because this isn’t the time to fuck, but because he is still not sure he can trust himself to be the person he wants to be after scaring her so, something that will become bigger in the next chapter but Rigel has a very in-group, out-group line of thinking, everyone views Celica differently, but Alm has seen her in-group since their engagement, so Celica’s treatment feels like one of the worst failings he could make, of course as you pointed out, he comes to this conclusion in the most self-centered way, Celica’s own feelings being a footnote, the next step for him is to decide what to do now that he is starting to question things, while certainly sensual, the bruise scene was driven out of a need to apologize rather than desire, but can kisses really heal injuries, just as our parents used to pretend?

but yeah this is a really precarious situation for a relationship to be, so I’m surprised that any chemistry has managed to stick through, I guess it helps that among all the major toxic relationships, they don’t actively want to hurt each other and still care to a certain extent, and softness is so fragile in both their worlds

there are big choices up ahead for both our protagonists, big choice that will challenge that softness they share

#cute things #arranged marriage au #submission

4 notes · View notes