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hawk-in-a-jazzy-hat · 7 years

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Anime Review: When the Seagulls Cry (Umineko)

On the remote island of Rokkenjima, only accessible by ferry, the esteemed Ushiromiya family gather for important family matters. The head of the family Kinzo is dying, and his four children Rosa, Krauss, Rudolf and Eva are already in talks for the headship. Their own descendants are also present; Jessica, George, Maria and Battler. Also there are the Ushiromiya servants, and Kinzo’s longtime friend and physician, Dr Nanjo. It is a gathering of friends and family, although not everybody is as happy as their family’s status would suggest. Relationships are strained, and jealousy is rife.

Not that it will matter in the end. For Kinzo has a dark secret involving the black arts and the legendary Golden Witch, Beatrice. And, in what could be a conspiracy and what could be a game, he has locked his friends and family on the island, now inaccessible due to a typhoon, and with a murderous sorceress on the loose.

When the typhoon passes, and the seagulls cry, the Ushiromiya family will be dead.

Or will they? For there is a larger game at stake here, and one of the family may have the ability to solve the mystery and change the family’s fate for good.

In the early 2000s, an anime was released based on the popular visual novel Higurashi: When They Cry (approximately translating to When the Cicadas Cry).The anime has quickly hit cult status for its severe genre shifting between soft slice-of-life and dark, horror murder mystery. And not just once, either, since the show would flip back and forth pretty much effortlessly. Whether you like the show or not (I personally appreciate it more than I actually like it) there’s no doubt that it was very good at what it did. The writing was tight and knew exactly where it was going and which cards to hold back and show at any given time. The characters were slowly explored well using a unique plot-point that kept the stakes and the mystery up. Even the cheap art style was used remarkably effectively, with the bouncy moe girls switching back and forth between cute and axe-crazy at the drop of a hat (Higurashi Face still remains one of my favourite tropes). It’s not perfect, but it’s one of those shows that I’d recommend everybody at least watch, if only to experience it.

So given the low-key success of Higurashi, it would make sense to bring back the director, series compositor and script-writer, and the same studio do adapt the spiritual successor of the VN, Umineko: When they Cry in 2009. Surely the same skills and combination of great source and great adaptation would make for another great show...surely...

(SPOILERS: It didn’t)

Let’s start with the animation. This is a Studio DEEN effort, and...yeah, it has the look of a Studio DEEN effort. I can’t really say the animation is any worse than Higurashi; they’re both obviously budgeted shows. Nor are the character designs particularly bad, especially compared to the original VN artwork (it’s kind of a ONE deal going on where the storytelling far, FAR surpasses the presentation). What is sadly lacking here though is the direction; everything just feels very flat. Bits that are supposed to be scary just sort of hover in subspace and don’t really fit, which is bizarre because the designs are far less moe-fied than Higurashi, and yet the two aspects don’t blend anywhere near as well. Maybe the increased contrast means they fit better together? Possibly.

The music is also a little flat; none of it is bad but it’s not particularly noteworthy either. However the real standout bits of the presentation are the opening and ending themes; hooooly dang, they are cool. It’s pretty much as explicit in faux-epic as you can get but the massive Italian choirs and pumping synth orchestra is just cheesy enough to actually kind of work. The singers also help, with Akiko Shikata providing a soft and slightly sinister purveyor of oncoming tragedy in the opening, and Jimang absolutely knocking it out of the park with his booming scratchy vocals in the ending, as he lays out his plans and desires as Kinzo Ushiromiya himself. Along with bombastic visuals, it’s truly wonderful stuff that is frankly far better than the show it’s attached to.

So, that plot synopsis I gave above? Yeah...um...that’s kind of a lie. I thought that was what was going to happen, since I was expecting something along the lines of Higurashi. There’s even a similar narrative plotpoint which enables the exploration of the characters and the mystery. But there are a few key differences. For one...the hints at the supernatural in Higurashi? Yeah, they’re massively explicit here. Like...they’re not just hinted at. They are spectating the events and providing a running commentary. I’m not even lying. And you know what happens when you’re taking out from one group of characters and have somebody sit in fancy chairs and explain things? That’s right, it’s really obnoxious and confusing and boring. It’s really hard to get into anything when it gets interspersed with talking heads like a friggin’ reaction video.

But, I could have lived with that. After all, there’s still the mystery which needs to be solved, and the way to save the family of Ushiromiya...oh...wait. No. That doesn’t happen. Sorry but...instead of solving that mystery, we’re going to make another mystery. Which completely defeats the point of the first mystery. There’s a game going on between Beatrice and one of the family, in which they are trying to disprove the existence of witches.

But instead of trying to solve the ACTUAL mystery, the witch makes ANOTHER mystery where she clearly is the murder, and magic clearly exists. And once that finishes, she does it again, bringing in even more magic. In fact, the only way it’s at all possible to win against her is when another witch enters the fray and passes on knowledge and magic in order to effectively fight her (in, what I will mention, are blatant VN ‘magics’ which just feel forced and wrong). So we’ve reached the point where we’re watching several different murder mysteries going on, all with different characters and motivations, all being overseen by a witch doing it basically for shits and giggles and a guy using magic to try and disprove the use of magic.

Except we’re not, because apparently the writers don’t know how actual character development works when the guy basically ragequits the game when he realises that the murderous psycho witch was actually a murderous psycho witch...and she gets all depressed and wonders what she was doing wrong. And all the while there’s all this turmoil with the family and with the OTHER witches, and for crying out loud the show just keeps rolling out character after character and dumb plotpoint after dumb plotpoint, CONSTANTLY contradicting itself.

And all the while, the actual family members are basically acting as flesh-puppets. Some of them do get some backstory and motivation, which would be interesting and allow for a motive in order to make them both sympathetic and/or a potential culprit. But we spend so little time on them and far too much on the magical bullcrap going on around them, that they all just feel so flat and two-dimensional. And don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of emotional baggage here, but the delivery is just so...out of place that at best it’s boring and at worst it’s downright unpleasant. And the fact that there are several different versions of these characters going on at the same time makes it very difficult to actually relate to anyone. The worst culprit is probably Maria, the creepy little girl who is so obviously evil that apparently she wasn’t in the end and is a Pure Sweet Cinnamon RollTM except she...never was. Not that it matters in the end because most people just die multiple times.

So what we have here is a murder mystery that is never actually solved, a family which is never explored, all looked over by a group of witches doing witch things and a main player witch who isn’t actually a witch although she is using magic to do things while asking someone to prove she’s not doing magic to do things while other witches are playing a game with her and some poor guy standing there trying to disprove magic by using magic and by the way magic here is the very pinnacle of “It’s Magic, I Don’t Have To Explain It”, except when it isn’t and it does have proper rules which they never actually tell people and the show decides to change itself up again and follow a character we’ve never met go through a completely different story which amounts to...basically nothing because we kind of end this whole debacle exactly where we started, just because somebody felt like it, and did I mention that all the servants have magical Green Lantern powers and there’s a sassy devil butler and schoolgirl versions of the seven deadly sins (for crying out loud, again?) and there are weird bunny girl demons and talking lion plush toys and

By which point any sane person has already picked up this Cluedo board and flung it out the window.

I’ve seen incompetent shows. Shows far more dull, bad, offensive and just downright wrong shows than this. But this, without a doubt, is the most convoluted and utterly insane waste of time I’ve ever watched. And you know what? Half the time...it wasn’t even that bad. I mean, the stuff on screen. There were some decent horror moments, and some moments which went so far into the degree of tastelessness that it almost felt like a fetish show. And there was an awful lot of potential in both the characters and the mystery itself.

So what happened? The only thing I know is that when this anime was made...the visual novel had yet to be released. And I must just sit back and ask myself, why. Why would you make something before the source material is even out.

But even then, it could have worked as an adaptation. There was a great Higurashi-level mystery just waiting here, blending the supernatural and the all too possible nicely. The idea that magic is dependent on faith is a great idea, and if the first mystery was far more impossible, both on a physical and a moral level, it would have made for great stakes to examine that game and throughout the story find different ways in which the murder could have been explained. While at the same time, the characters’ backstories and motivations could be discovered as we try and discover who really did it, therefore thwarting the witch and settling the family problems to rest.

But no. No, we instead got twenty-six episodes of complete and utter insanity, that, in the end, is completely pointless and non-canon anyway. Ugh. If you want to know the story, play the visual novel instead. If you don’t, then...I don’t know, play some Phoenix Wright or Danganronpa. Anything’s got to be better than this.

Despite a fantastic premise, a lot of potential and a group of people who had proved they could do this well (seriously guys, what happened?), Umineko is a great big murder mystery mess of muck. Nothing is consistent, nothing is explored, and nothing is accomplished. Despite one or two decent parts, and a few moments that were entertaining on a purely WTH level, there is nothing that can stop this show from being ultimately a complete waste of time. Not the absolute worst, but easy to skip.

My score: 3/10

#umineko no naku koro ni #umineko: when they cry #when the seagulls cry #anime 2009 #studio deen

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