i feel really disappointed in myself because i keep talking to my partner and therapists about how much i want to get sober or at least drastically reduce my usage and stick to using naturals only to continue to partake in those very habits and it makes me feel like such a fucking hopeless hypocrite. like. how can i claim to be so desperate for help yet i continue to dig my own grave. im still trying to get better in the ways that i can but i really do feel bad and like im wasting everyones time because ive come to the conclusion that ill never be able to live my life without drugs. i know saying this is never helpful but i really do wish that things couldve been some other way.