oh it’s never fucking easy is it

ok hi haahahaha this is such a late post, and there are still a lot of belated posts i haven’t fill in yet bc i’m such a lazy ass wtf but ok anyway!!!! 

///////

today was supposed to be a special day.

ok not really cus we met on the 24th, a day before the actual date we got together cus han has work on 26th so in consideration of him needing some time to rest, we decided to meet on the 24th so we can stay out late and then he can use the rest of the day to sleep.

truth be told, halfway through the day things started becoming ugly. like ok, let me tell yall from the very beginning ok.

ok so we decided to meet at orchard cus the night before we planned to catch a movie – jumanji, the 4:20PM time slot. and like as usual i was late zz even though i was on a frikin uber. like tbh i could have reached in like 30 mins or even lesser if there wasn’t any other passengers in the car. like i don’t get it ok why are the drivers so damn greedy wtf if it’s one other passenger sharing i wouldn’t mind la but there were 2 other passengers and both of which were going different locations. so like the driver had to drive to 3 different locations and mine ofc la had to be the last one right :-) but ok wtvr so when i was on the ride, i decided to google the seating plan for the movie but the shitty thing was jumanji at 420pm was a really small theatre so most of the good seats were all taken. 

and by this time han was getting frustrated with me cus i was late lol and he was all like “can we even still watch the movie can you even make it?” and i was being all pissy cus of the stupid other passengers shit so i said “yaaaa we can still watch the 5+pm show”

then i googled the seating plan again but lmao even the 5+ one was shitty af cus the good seats were all taken so i checked the 940pm slot and it’s the larger seating theatre so there were still plenty of good seats not taken yet.

i finally reached orchard AND DID I MENTION HOW CROWDED IT WAS THAT DAY WTF fucking humans everywhere but i guess it was inevitable since it was the eve of xmas and like i should have known but zzz shitty. but ya then after i met han i told him that all the earlier timeslots has shitty seats and showed him the screenshots i took. so we decided to catch the 940pm timeslot instead.

walking to lido was so annoying bc all the other humans don’t know how to fucking act and move in a streamline manner wtf but ok anyway when we reached lido, the amount of people queueing to buy tickets were super crazy so i ended up just booking the tickets on the website instead and that saves us so much time and trouble from having to wait in line.

and thennnn ok we or should i say i, was supposed to link up with seanna and her bf to go to the carnival together (sorta like a double date thing but not really) but before that they were going to the xmas wonderland thing so i thought hmm maybe we can grab lunch/dinner together first then since they were making their way to orchard also but lol end up they started eating without us so i’m just like okkkkk. we saw them, i waved hi and then we went on our separate ways from there. like we didn’t even hang out like we planned to lol but nvm then han was a little irritated cus he was hungry but there were so many people everywhere and i was being indecisive as usual so i just randomly suggest places to eat and then we went to check out the food court but there wasn’t any available seats so we ended up just having our lunch/dinner at crave nasi lemak. the lemak cili padi chicken set i got wasn’t very satisfying. han got the usual chicken wing set. 

ok then like i tried to link up with seanna again but idk i feel like for someone reason she was just trying to avoid me, us?? or maybe she just wanted to spend the rest of the day alone with her bf but i feel a little disappointed bc it would have been great if she straight up tell me instead of like making me wait for a reply. but ok ya we failed to meet up again.

and thennnnn we were walking around the mall killing time and i went inside factorie, before that han was being so distant and poopie idk why but then ya we went to factorie and i tried on some shorts bc they were on sale but ended up not getting any cus they didn’t fit me right around the waist. before that i tried to ask han for some opinion but like idk why to me it just sounds like he was pissed off and insensitive and i felt hurt and tried to keep it inside and to pretend that it didn’t hurt me but lol i couldn’t hold it and started giving him the silent treatment. 

honestly idk why i’m so sensitive, i cry so easily these days over really minor things, some things are not even important but you know on days like these all i want was to be held, to be comforted, to be given attention, to be cared for, to be loved, to feel the love, but for some reason i couldn’t feel it from him cus he didn’t give it to me. 

like he could have given in to me and like idk apologize or something, even if it’s not his fault, i feel like he should have at least done something like holding my hand, or pulling me to a corner and just quietly giving me a hug or something like idk i feel like just doing something so simple like that could have soothe me right there and then but he decided to become fire too and it sucks bc it was supposed to be a memorable happy day.

and then for a while we just sat in silence, waiting for the hall to be open for our movie but we had like 40 mins left to kill and i felt so bored and tired of sitting there i just wanted to go out for a breather so i told him and at this point, he was just sitting there using his phone and all not paying me any attention. like as though whatever’s on his phone is way more important than me. and that made me mad and i felt even more shitty so i just stormed off and went down, out of the mall and walked around aimlessly. i was hoping that he’d follow me and idk just grabbed my hand and ask me if i’m ok or not or idk just show that he care and i thought he was following me but i guess not bc he lost me so he called me and asked me where i was and bc i was still fuming, i added more oil to the fire but after awhile, i felt like shit so i went back and walked towards where he was and then we walked to far east plaza and just walked around inside the mall for a bit.

i asked him if he was hungry and i guess he was craving for pezzo or something cus he asked me if there’s any pezzo around and i said yes there is but it’s quite far after that i asked him if wanted to go but he was like nah.

so i said it’s ok we still have like a lot of time to kill we can go and get pezzo if you want it (at this point i thought he don’t want to go bc i told him it was far but i remembered that there’s one at the basement of ion and it was quite near to where we were) so i walked towards ion and like he had this super black and unhappy face on so i asked him if he’s ok but he’s just like “ya just walk” so i did and then we finally arrived at pezzo then i asked him what he want but he just like look super frustrated and then teared up and i was so shocked bc i honestly didn’t know what was going on and then he told me that he felt like vomiting but i didn’t want to listen to him blablabla and i was like??? how would i know if you didn’t tell me and when i asked if you’re ok you said just walk??? then he was like “i already told you i don’t want what” and then i tried to become water bc i felt bad but he pushed me away both times when i tried to hold his arms wtf he has never pushed me away before (i don’t think he has ever did that pushing away motion to me before) so from trying to become water, i become fire again. i was so fucking??? wtf?? like i tried and truth be told i wanted to go home on the spot cus i felt so shit!!!!! but our movie was gonna start and it’ll be such a waste so i stormed off towards lido walking as fast as possible to keep the distance between us and i........ did something stupid again. it doesn’t hurt as much as the other time but that’s just because there’s no concrete walls which sucks at that point of time but anyway ya we went in the hall and to our seats.

after awhile, han became water. idk how or why or maybe sitting in darkness makes people think or reflect or something idk la but he apologized and grabbed my arm and then started doing his sniffing my hand habit thingy and putting my hand on his face all and that’s when i just crumbled. i was crying like a baby without sound. bc that was all i wanted, like throughout the whole time we were arguing and giving each other the silent treatment that was honestly all i wanted. him holding my hand, telling me things will be ok, that things are ok just with that one action. i think that was why i probably cried like the feeling of relief and being comforted just turned on the waterworks in me.

we held hands for a bit during the movie and ok yall gotta go watch jumanji it was amazing!!! (i think i literally say the same thing for every movie i watch) the casts are rly cool and there were a lot of hilarious scenes. and then after the movie, i asked han if he was sending me home and he said yes so we walked towards the bus stop and even though it was already around 12, some shops were still open and so was this small pezzo stand so i got some pizzas while waiting for han who was waiting in line in 7-11. 

luckily we made it in time for 65 cus i think it was the last bus already towards the east. 

upon reaching my place, we sat at the usual spot and ate our pizzas. and both of us were broke af so we couldn’t afford to book a ride home for han so he decided to take the first train back and since we got time to kill, we talked for a bit and then he wanted to sleep but i kept annoying him asking him to wake up and give me attention hahahahahaha and then i felt shitty la cus like he finally got up cus he was irritated after i said that he’s always sleeping only but then we were just sitting in silence again lol so i stood up and went down cus i just wanted to walk around alone for a bit to cool myself down bc i don’t want to ruin the day by becoming fire again and i was about to walk a little further down towards the other lift until i heard footsteps and someone grabbing my arm hahahahaha wah like drama like that right!!! but what he did = instantly cooled me down and then he asked me where i was going so i said i’m just gonna go walk around and he can go and sleep if he want to then he pulled my arm and wrapped himself around me while we went back up lol wth and even though i kept asking “isn’t it uncomfortable like this?” i was secretly enjoying it la mcm bodo hahahahaha why ah we always say the opposite of things its like we like them but we will always deny the fact that we like what they’re doing rly bodo sia. 

then he started staring at me and smiling like a fool wth!!!!! and i was soOoOooOo panas wtf like i can feel my face getting hot bc i was blushing like crazy??? can your boyfriend actually do that to you when he’s ALREADY YOUR BOYFRIEND? wtf like i thought the blushing thing only happens if you’re secretly in love with someone and they do something cute to/for you or something idk but holy shit i was blushing la ok and like he just kept pulling me closer and making eye contact and smiling mcm taikkkkkkk so cute wtf stop itttttttttt fml ok *breathes* then ok end of story

overall we ended on a good note la maybe i thirsty la so long never get dick alr HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH JKKKKKKKKK

but ya we’re ok nowwwwwww bye i love you hahahahahahaha

ps: second pic of us tgt is a few months old pic cus we didn’t take any that day but ok ah still cute hahaahaha