#but it's just like. and it doesnt MATTER im not neurotic i don't NEED to be his top priority | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

firebuug · 7 months

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indirectly not really tagged by(stolen from) @scp-168 because i'm cracyyyy (want to type and ramble)

3 ships:

damian already went off about abc but i need more abel and hokma. you guys talk about old man yaoi but WHEREEEE is the old man x old man yaoi. your coworker aged you 40 years and then he remanifests in his office as a manifestation of his flaws and his trauma and he's old as balls too. tell me you arent all over his ass. also can we have a old woman yuri carmen.

literally all of the ships i've been going crazy over have literally just been oc ships but also i need everyone to know that even if i don't play it anymore gregor x rodya will forever be the bisexual fail ship of all time. they both get no pussy. they beat each other up daily. gregor is used as a headrest and is also boob height. what's more to love? but also gregor and meursault? there's no chemistry here whatsoever other than they were both done dirty by their society and also have a ridiculous height difference. i feel like gregor talks and says shit and meursault takes it too seriosuly or doesnt get it and they both sit in silence for the next 30 mins. i hate them

none of this matters (holds up my oc polycule that consists of a giant centipede a wriggling neurotic mass of wires a giant bird dinosaur beast and the occasional cockroach that needs some love and forces you to like them) (holds up my queerplatonic autistic distortion sex explosion that commits The Pianist 2 and kills thousands and forces you to like them) (holds up my giant centipede kissing the bug from limbus company and forces you to like them) (holds up my bisexual telephone who hates men but wishes the living cymbal piano man and knight butch would kiss her so bad)

First ever ship: ugh i wish i knew, i'm pretty sure it has had to be an oc ship of some kind, but that probably doesn't count since that's just playing with dolls, so my money is on some stupid hetalia shit (i refuse to actually speak the name of the ship but like. it was one of the most popular mlm ships in the fandom so fuckin. guess). although the first ship i actually started making content and reading fic for instead of just looking at pictures of (i have no idea if hetalia came before this or not) is skarso from tos sob

Last song: im currenlty listening to music lel...im listening to Paranoiac Intervals/Body Dysmorphia by of Montreal one of the songs of all time nglll

Last Movie: Probably a movie i watched at my schools entertainment club, which was..across the spiderverse (it was really good but the ending was kinda disappointing)

Currently reading: I need to start reading again but I keep getting distracted by art and the Evil Devices, but I'm working on continuing Villain VS Villain by Rosalind B. Sterling and recently bought Chainsaw Man Buddy Stories and the first book of part 1 that i'm waiting to get brainrot again to read

Currently watching: i need to finish catching up on major adventure time episodes so i can watch fionna and cake and not be confused. also want to finish steven universe sometime...also need to finish watching madoka w my friends....

Currently consuming: also wateh

Currently craving: watermelon (we only have it when im not craving it like a dehydrated man in the desert)

#enjoy the insane ramblings of a madman #i'm distracting myself as much as possible so i don't think about the fact that i have to get up early tomorrow and think #txt #tag meme

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strider-rambles · 2 months

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holy shit the first motherfucking ramble is an emo one this shit crayz

anyway. uhm. man. as a kin(?) <- dubious but thats how ill be referring to myself for now ive always like. had such a tough time finding not only canonmates, but just.. sourcemates. in general. that i vibe with. i think perhaps my vibes are occasionally mad atrocious, but it's also like. OTHER PEOPLE are half of the issue too you know

takes two to motherfuckin tango, and bro, i'm stepping on these bitches' feet like it's dance dance revolution and like as a dave kin specifically. one who like. was quite young when i got into the fandom however many years ago and, even if i didn't know the term kin back then, i kinda.. knew. or, maybe the fuckin chicken (me) came before the egg (the kin) or whatever but

whatever. it resulted in me being.. kind of in a kinshift for like 4 years during the most formative years of my life

cray-z right

doesn;t matter its just like. because it's been such a present thing through my life ive met.. so many individuals who are like. you know. other kins which is great and all, but like

i haven't found people that i've vibed with for homestuck. the majority of the people i know and interact with now are comfortably in my little kin circle or whatever, are sort of the closest thing that i have to canonmates

nothing for homestuck. well nothing beyond a dirk. but i got lucky with him and i KNOW i got lucky with him because i. we're both kind of outcasts in the community, in the sense that we're. neurotic striders, i guess.

but he's like. helped a lot with the whole feeling alone and being all emotionally constipated about it thing.

but that doesn't help with the other shit

the missing my friends shit, the approaching so many fucking people bein' all like yooo whats GOOD bros and being hit with vibes that clash with mine or WORSE. vibes that WORK WITH ME. but they already have their dave

so whats the point you know?

i'm not going to be THEIR DAVE.

i have so many diverging fucking timelines and like

im dave. im davesprite. im every goddamn iteration of this stupid fucking asshole and MORE.

and

i hate the idea of being the secondary one, i guess. which is funny because. gestures. but like

it's gotten to the point where im so DESPERATE to find people. so DESPERATE to find my bros and my homies and my gals that i like i promised myself i wouldn't do this but i'm actively going "hey i can be your secondary dave, haha" you know. all fucking pathetic and shit

but i just.

i MISS my friends. so bad. and i think part of my struggle is like this is an OLDASS FANDOM. at least in terms of the internet, and so its harder to find people who have those roles unfilled, because like it's already.. you know.

and so like.

i'm stuck here. rambling into the fucking VOID on tumblr because i'm too. fucking. i dont know late??

funny to be late as a time player but womp womp motherfucker, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and start damage control

but like

in all seriousness. i'm losing mad hope

ive gone from being like hey, yall need a dave? to hey, yall need a davesprite? to. radio motherfuckin silence.

and as a result i kinda yap at dirk too much, which totally makes me tweak the fuck out, like, dude. he has a life (albeit a totally like. chill one, that aint all that busy) and he doesnt have the time to like tend to you like youre a child with scarlet fever, and every last word that your whiny little vocal cords can muster could be like... you know. your last. like his ass is NOT writing your obituary

and so like i pull away kinda. and like. because of that pulling away i suddenly have this like. yapping desire that needs to be fulfilled but like i like having peer review. like it keeps it from being a massive fucking echo chamber of just misery and bullshit and like.

yeah

and so i.

i don't know, man. i made this blog for a reason.

i don't know if i thought it would help, or if it would like. help me connect to people, or what

what am i even doin here dawg

like theres just this existential feeling of DREAD here. doomed timeline type shit lmfaoooo i don't know though i

it could bring something good

or this could be something terrible for me

or it could be like journaling. which i used to do in physical books, because i liked doodling back then, but, ive lost that hobby, so like

this exists

but i only journaled when i didn't have friends

i have friends

i think

i just understand that those friends don't want to listen to me. frankly i wouldn't either, i mean like. read this shit again. would you really wanna sit down with your bro and hear this type of shit i don't know. this kinda turned into. something horrible haha

i'm better mentally than i was 4 years ago but whats the point when i be bitchin and moanin and whinin like this still

point is:

i miss my friends. i miss yapping (at) with them. i miss having friends in the first place. i miss feeling like i'm home, kin wise. the irony of the matter is im LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE. instead of uhh (checks notes) HOMESTUCK.

haha. im so funny. haha. yeah. uh. ramble over for now. i might pick this shit back up.

#emo shit #homestuck kin #homestuck #this will probably be the only post i tag homestuck. just to really get myself out there. you know. see if someone. sees this shit #shinji chair image

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