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freddiesaysalright · 5 years

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Peace Like a River Part 10

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.4K

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @simmisblog, @assembledherethevolunteers, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @readinghorn, @riddikuluslypotter, @doingalrightt, @misslolasworld, @lemurian-starship, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80, @imgonnabeyourslave, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @ixchel-9275, @sincerelygmg, @lv7867, @unicorn-princess-1999, @delilahmay39, @chlobo6, @dragon-out-of-water, @radio-hoo-ha If you’d like to be added let me know!

A/N: Alright!! This is more of a set for the coming chapter, but still lots of great stuff! We meet Y/N’s new assistant and find out what happened between Stacy and Henry! Also, Gwilym is maybe catching on!!!! Y’all enjoy :)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

Part 10 here we go!!!

You read his letter over and over again. The whole trip home to Los Angeles, you pondered how to respond. What should you say? Should you come clean in the letters? Would he believe you if he did? Then, there was the matter of his confession and what he said.

Dear Friend. I’m afraid our correspondence must soon come to an end. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you, but I’ve met someone. As much as I’ve cherished getting to know you, and connecting with you over our shared interests, the person I’ve come to love is now in front of me. I always could picture a life with you. But she is the one person I cannot imagine my life without.

That being said, my invitation to meet still stands. I’d like for both of us to have some closure, so we won’t spend our whole lives wondering. If you’d prefer to let things lie, that would be alright, too, but I hope you’ll agree with me and have a proper conclusion. Let me know what you decide. Sincerely, Dear Friend.

Your mind raced with everything you had to consider. The time to come clean was upon you. When and where to do it appropriately was the only question left to answer. You knew Gwilym loved you. It was right there in black and white. Crystal clear. That made you so happy you could burst into song and dance. But, a fresh wave of guilt came with the demise of his relationship to Dear Friend.

He told you he was in love with her. Did any of those feelings still linger? How much did he still care? Enough to still want to meet, that was for sure. But he was also willing to just let it go. For you.

Part of you was a little offended. Could he really not even entertain the idea that you were the same person? He told you how alike you and Dear Friend were - which was obvious to you - but had it even crossed his mind? You had to talk to him and find out where his head was at and what he hoped for from all of this.

The only problem was that when you got back to LA, you were busy. You were shopping for Violet’s Christmas gifts, interviewing for a new assistant, your agent was hounding you about a film role she liked for you, and you were trying to squeeze in time to even just tell Gwilym you missed him. Texting was okay, but you missed seeing his face and the sound of his voice.

The only person who probably missed him more than you was Violet. She was pretty depressed, despite being excited for Christmas. Usually, she was in bed when you had time to call or FaceTime with Gwilym, so she missed a lot of it. The moments she did get to talk to him were brief, either in the car or over breakfast before your busy day.

You had booked your trip to London already. You’d be flying in on the twenty-first, just days before Christmas, and you’d stay through the New Year. Violet was incredibly excited. So much so, she was literally counting down the days with an Advent calendar. She had asked you to circle the day you were going to see Daddy, and you obliged.

One week before your departure, you interviewed a final candidate for your assistant. It was a man a little younger than you, named Adam, and his resume was impressive. It was all a matter of what you and Violet thought of him. You were conducting interviews at your house, and when the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it.

“Hi!” Adam said brightly, smiling at her. “Are you the one hiring an assistant?”

She giggled. “No, silly, it’s my mommy!”

“Of course!” he said dramatically, gently hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I am silly. You just seemed like such a busy girl.”

You grinned. He was already on the right track.

“Adam?” you said, coming to the door.

“Miss Y/L/N?” he returned, extending his hand.

“Y/N,” you told him, shaking it. “Come in, please.”

He followed you into the kitchen, Violet on your heels. She took to Adam quickly, whereas the others seemed sort of put out by her. It was refreshing.

“So, tell me why you left your most recent job,” you said as you took a seat across from him at the table.

“Things weren’t working out with her,” he said.

“Can I ask why?” you wondered.

He took a deep breath. “I might as well tell you so I don’t run into a similar issue. I have a boyfriend. I just came out earlier this year, and she didn’t agree with my ‘lifestyle.’”

You frowned. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

He shrugged, but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that told you it bothered him more than he was letting on.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not,” you said. “But just so you know, it makes no difference to me.”

He forced a smile. “That’s a relief.”

“So tell me about your strengths as an assistant,” you said.

He immediately straightened up and grew more positive. He was an impressive person, and throughout, he was considerate of both you and Violet. You allowed her to ask questions too, only they tended to pertain to things like if he liked chocolate, and if he did, whether or not he would share with her on the occasions that he had any. He assured her that he would.

“Well, I believe those are all my questions,” you said with a chuckle. “Anything else from you, Vi?”

“Will he come with us to see Daddy?” she wondered.

“Daddy?” Adam questioned.

“My boyfriend,” you said. “He lives in London and we’re going there next week for Christmas.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Sweetie, Adam probably has his own family he wants to see during the holiday,” you explained to your daughter.

“Actually,” he said. “My boyfriend is traveling with his family, and I don’t really speak to mine….” he trailed off.

“Oh, you’d really like to come?” you wondered. “But it’s Christmas, you shouldn’t have to work.”

“I’d love it actually,” he said. “I hate the idea of spending another one by myself.”

You smiled. “Alright. I’ll get you a ticket.”

“And I’ve already got a passport,” he returned with a smirk.

That afternoon, you got a call as you were starting on dinner. You were shocked at the name on the caller ID. It was Stacy. Curious, you answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” she said, and you could hear that she had been crying.

“Stacy,” you returned coolly. “What do you want?”

“Well, um, I just spoke to Henry and he dumped me,” she said. “I was just wondering if you’d talked to him or...well…”

You sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

“Really?” she pressed. “He didn’t even give a reason, so I thought…”

“You really think he’d start listening to me all of a sudden?” you replied. “If he ended it, it’s because he didn’t feel it anymore or he couldn’t use you anymore. In either scenario, you’re better off, believe me.”

“Alright,” she sniffled. “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”

“Goodbye, Stacy,” you said, and hung up.

You were conflicted about how you felt about this new development. You’d resigned yourself to the fact that Stacy would stay with Henry, and you hated the potential harm that could come to her, but you did what you could. The fact that Henry broke up with Stacy despite how the meeting went pissed you off a little. It meant his threat was empty. He was going to leave her anyway. You’d put yourself and your family through that whole ordeal only to find that he was bluffing. He’d used your vulnerability. Of course he had.

Then again, part of you was glad for the confrontation. You no longer feared Henry. Punching him had pretty much rid you of any remaining fear. Gwilym had jokingly named the punch The Defibrillator since you’d struck two spots in the chest at the same time. But in all seriousness, you felt that sense of overcoming your past which had haunted you. Shedding that shadow. That counted for something. You just hated that you’d frightened your daughter and put Gwilym in danger.

You looked out into the living room and watched Adam playing with Violet - she was introducing him to all her stuffed animals - and smiled. The part of your life with Stacy, Henry, and even Dear Friend was done now. You just had to take care of that last bit.

After dinner, you put Violet to bed and Adam offered to help with the dishes in exchange for you feeding him. When you came back down the stairs, you found him at the sink. He had a strangely guilty look on his face.

“What’s up?” you wondered.

“Girl, do you know what year it is?” he returned.

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

“You’re still writing letters? In this day in age?”

Your cheeks went pink.

“You saw my letter?!”

“I didn’t snoop or read it!” he insisted. “It was on the counter and I got water on it. It looked important so I dabbed it with a rag and saw it was a real handwritten letter and suddenly it was the early twentieth century.”

“Come on, everyone likes getting mail,” you argued.

“He’s not overseas fighting World War I,” he retorted. “Slide in the DMs like everybody else.”

You rolled your eyes.

“So, it’s your boyfriend you’re writing to?” he asked.

“I thought you said you didn’t read it,” you said.

“Okay, but I have eyes, so I caught a few things,” he shot back. “Are y’all breaking up?”

“No,” you told him. “He doesn’t know he’s writing to me.”

“O...kay…” he began. “We don’t have time to unpack what you just said to me, but luckily, we have a very long plane ride coming up soon.”

You laughed. “Alright, I’ll explain everything then.”

You helped him finish the dishes and then he left. You went to your desk to write back, but then you got another call. This time, the name thrilled you. It was a FaceTime call from Gwilym.

“Hey, baby,” you said as you picked up.

“Hello, love,” he replied. “How are you?”

“Good!” you told him. “I hired a new assistant today.”

“That’s wonderful,” he said. “What are they like?”

“His name is Adam…”

You told him about it and then he caught you up on the goings on in his life as well. When you came to a lull in conversation, you decided to bring up what had been weighing on you.

“So, there’s something we haven’t talked about,” you said. “I forgot about it after everything that’s happened, but it’s important.”

“What is it?” he wondered.

“Are you sure you have time to talk about it?” you asked. “Isn’t it like four in the morning there?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “It’s why I called. Let’s talk about it.”

You took a deep breath. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about...Dear Friend.”

“Oh,” he said, and his face fell. “Yes, I figured you’d have questions. Things with her have not been romantic in nature for some time.”

“How do you feel about that?” you asked.

“It’s sort of sad,” he began. “I feel I sort of lead her on only to disappoint her. In a way, I felt I was being unfaithful. But...I couldn’t help what happened between us. As soon as I knew how I felt about you, I told her.”

“And...are you still writing to her?”

“I wrote to her just before I left New York,” he said. “That’s when I explained everything. In the spirit of honesty, I should tell you I’ve still asked her to meet. I want to have proper closure with her.”

You nodded. He frowned.

“You’re not surprised by that?” he questioned.

You blinked. “Oh! Um, no, I am. Sorry, it’s just a lot to process. Do you...do you still care for her?”

“It’s more of a friendly feeling now,” he said. “Because my feelings for you formed. Although honestly, it began to feel like you two were the same person at times. So I felt really conflicted.”

Tell him! Your mind screamed at you. Tell him now, you coward!

“Funny,” you said weakly.

“Do you want me to call it off?” he asked.

You considered it. You wondered if calling it off would make it easier. But you also didn’t want him to wonder. An idea came to you. You weren’t sure if it was the noblest thing, but damn, it was romantic. And if anyone deserved a little romance, it was Gwilym. Especially after everything he’d endured with you and supported you through.

“No,” you said. “I want you to get what you need out of it.”

“That’s...surprisingly understanding of you,” he said.

“Gwilym, I love you,” you told him. “I only ever want you to be completely happy. If meeting her will help you, then I’m gonna be supportive.”

“I appreciate that,” he said. “More than you know.”

“I love you so much,” you said again.

“I love you too,” he replied with a small smile.

“Are you okay?” you wondered.

He looked almost sad. Disappointed.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but you could tell something was off.

“Gwil,” you pressed.

“I suppose I’m just...I dunno...a bit sad,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“I’ve been writing to this woman for over a year,” he said. “I really...I really thought she was it for me. Happy as I am to have found you, I feel terrible that I’ve hurt her. Or will hurt her. It’s the end of something special.”

You wished you could tell him you were feeling the same way. Even though you knew, it felt sort of bittersweet. All the excitement and mystery would be gone.

“And it sort of makes me feel like the whole thing was just a fantasy,” he said. “That I couldn’t truly love someone without meeting them despite all the ways we connected. It makes me feel so foolish to have believed in it at all.”

Your heart ached for him.

“You’re...you’re not foolish,” you assured him. “You’re a romantic. If it helps, I don’t think what you shared with Dear Friend was just a fantasy. Feelings like that are real and can affect you. You care enough for this person to hurt for her now that it’s over. That’s real.”

He sighed and didn’t answer.

“Besides,” you went on. “Who cares what it means to others as long as you know what you meant to each other?”

His eyes went wide and he gaped at you.

“Y/N -”

You yawned before he could ask the question you’d planted in his mind.

“I’ve got to get some sleep.”

“Hold on - Y/N -!”

“Good night, Gwil!” you chirped. “Love you!”

You waved to him and he sputtered to keep you on the phone, but you hung up, smirking. You wanted to surprise him, but it couldn’t hurt to drop a hint. Giggling to yourself, you began your reply letter.

Dear Friend, you began. I’m not at all surprised by the news you’ve met someone. I’ve had my suspicions since you stopped writing “I love you” before the end of your letters. Let me first say, I completely understand. We can’t control who we fall in love with. I’m happy for you. Second, I also would like real and complete closure. Let’s try to meet again. I promise that I won’t run away this time, no matter what happens or who shows up.

You arranged to meet him on Christmas Eve at eight o’clock in the evening. The place was a park near Gwilym’s home, which you found after some meticulous Googling. You sealed up the envelope and addressed it, one last time. That familiar bittersweet feeling returned. This was the last letter. The end of Dear Friend.

This time, however, you weren’t scared. You had overcome more in the past few weeks than you had ever expected. You were proud of yourself. And you’d found Gwilym’s love amid all of it. It no longer felt uneven. You no longer felt unworthy. Gwilym loved you, and you believed him when he said it. No one could make you feel inferior to him. Not even yourself.

The next day, you went to put the letter in the mailbox just as Adam showed up for work. He laughed as he watched you put the flag up and everything. He got out of his car and you ignored his smug look.

“Letter writing is a lost art,” you said. “Now come inside and help me answer some emails.”

Chuckling, he followed you in. Violet gave a shout of delight at seeing him again.

“Good morning, Mister Adam!” she cried.

“You can just call me Adam, sweetie,” he said. “And good morning.”

“Want some pancakes?” she asked.

He looked at you to be sure there were enough. You nodded.

Well, sure,” he said, sitting down beside her.

You fixed him a plate before joining them with one of your own. Your phone rang and it was Gwilym, FaceTiming again. You answered just as you swallowed a bite of pancake.

“Morning, baby!” you said, leaning closer to Adam and showing Gwilym. “This is Adam, my new assistant!”

“Hello,” Gwilym said politely.

Adam turned his eyes on Gwilym and then choked on his coffee.

“That’s your boyfriend?!” he cried. “That’s a real person?! He’s so handsome!”

Gwilym blushed. “Oh, my, that’s very kind of you.”

“He’s coming with us to London,” you said to Gwil.

“That’s great!” Gwilym said. “Listen, darling, I wanted to ask you something -”

“I wanna talk to him!” Violet whined. “Mommy, let me!”

“Hold on,” you said, looking at Gwil. “Violet wants to say hello.”

He chuckled. “Yes, of course.”

You propped your phone up facing Violet, who beamed.

“Hi, Daddy!” she said.

“Hello, angel!” he returned. “How are you?”

She started jabbering away to him. Adam leaned over to you.

“Goddamn, Y/N!” he whispered. “That’s her dad?”

“Long story,” you said. “But no, her biological father isn’t in the picture. It’s sort of funny she just called him Daddy one day and it stuck.”

Adam glanced at the phone, where you both got a glimpse of Gwilym smiling at Violet.

“Shit, I’d call him Daddy too,” Adam muttered.

You snorted and burst into a fit of giggles.

“Adam!” you scolded playfully. “You’re taken! And so is he!”

“I can look at the menu without ordering!” he argued, laughing.

You enjoyed your breakfast, keeping Gwilym on the phone so it was like he was there with you. You missed him so much. You longed to reach over and take his hand. To feel his warmth and affection.

You could tell he wanted to ask you again about the reference to the letters, but it wasn’t a good time with Violet and Adam there. He was clearly disappointed when you did have to hang up and start with your day.

“Okay, so your first order of business is the movie role your agent has sent you…” Adam checked his laptop. “Four emails about. Literally in the last half hour.”

“Yeah, she’s pushy,” you sighed, picking up the plates to put them in the sink.

“People stop doing that when you answer them, you know,” he returned.

You bit your lip. While it was tempting, the movie would begin shooting in Los Angeles within the year, and you weren’t sure where you’d be. You hoped you’d be in London, where your heart was.

“Turn it down,” you said.

“Are you sure?” he questioned, blinking with surprise. “It’s a big role.”

“I don’t have time,” you said with a shrug. “There are more important things I want to focus on.”

“Alright, I’ll let her know,” he assured you, already typing his message.

You smiled. It felt right. You needed to start thinking about what your future with Gwilym would look like. For you, he was also the one person you couldn’t imagine your life without. And thankfully, you wouldn’t be without him for much longer.

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gdelgiproducer · 6 years

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DOTV AU: An Exercise in Alternate History (Part VIII)

Parts I, II, III, IV, V, VI, and VII offer more detailed context. (To briefly sum up why these posts are happening: alt history – as in sci fi, not “alternative facts” – buff, one day got the idea that DOTV could have turned out hella different if Jim Steinman looked for a star lead in other places, decided to reason out how that might work.) This is still getting a good response, so I’m gonna keep the train rolling.

Parts of the AU timeline established so far:

Instead of stopping at recording two songs from Whistle Down the Wind on a greatest hits compilation, Meat Loaf wound up taking more of an interest in Steinman’s new theater work than he did in our timeline, and through a series of circumstances found himself volunteering to play Krolock in the impending DOTV when Jim poured out his woes to him about needing to find some sort of star to attract investors. At a loss for any better ideas, Jim accepted Meat’s impulsive proposal, but not without resistance from his manager, David Sonenberg, who proposed Michael Crawford as an alternate candidate. Through quick thinking on Meat’s part, and inspiration on Jim’s, Crawford left the room accepting an entirely different role than he walked in hoping to get, leaving Krolock still open for Meat.

There was a brief speed bump, when Meat disliked Jim’s English script for the show, but after meeting with the original German author Michael Kunze and convincing Jim to compromise, things were on the road to being back on track… at least until 9/11 occurred.

Following a brief hiatus, everyone involved met to re-assess their options. The current game-plan was to put the new script on paper, schmooze with potential investors or producers, and put together a new creative team. Preferably not all at the same time, but with the crunch on, they’d do whatever needed to be done.

Schmoozing went well, but everybody that Meat, Jim, and the crew wanted to be involved was tentative. The conclusion reached was that they needed to show them there was a working show, which resulted in a concert of selections from the score paid for by none other than Courtney Love (!) that received some in-depth press coverage.

Now we join our heroes as new wrinkles emerge in the path to Broadway.

A week after the concert of selections from Dance of the Vampires (and after Michael Riedel noting that Meat Loaf has yet to sign on the dotted line for the show), a brief story appears in Rolling Stone’s Random Notes section: “Rocker Meat Loaf announced this week that he has terminated the management services of Allen Kovac and is currently seeking new representation. Kovac, who is in the process of leaving Left Bank Management to form his own firm, issued the following statement which is believed to be a comment on the heavyset singer’s departure, though he is not mentioned by name: ‘I don’t tell artists what they want to hear, I tell them what I know to be true. When I first sign an artist I let them know that I’m not their friend. Too many artists don’t measure their manager on their performance; they measure them on how many times they’ve been invited to their house. That’s not my style. If an artist is going to be successful, you need to tell them how to run their business -- not ask them how to run their business. Does it work? Look it up: no artist has ever done better after leaving my company.’” Requests from the Vampires team to speak to Meat about what’s up are met with total radio silence.

Meanwhile, the business side of Vampires continues to shore up. Jim Steinman receives delighted reports from his manager, David Sonenberg, that Jerry Weintraub and the Weisslers are ready to commit, bumping the total number of producers thus far up to nine. “How’s it looking now?” Jim queries. “Well, remember we’re trying to raise 15 million,” says David. “I don’t mean to be pessimistic, but it will be an uphill battle.” “What else is new in the theater?” Steinman grumbles in response. “On the bright side, we can now tighten the list of how many producers we need to seven.”

The representatives from Concerts West, based in L.A., get back to them within the week. Reports Sonenberg to all parties by e-mail: “They’re interested, but only if it tours. Live touring events are what they do, and the theatrical market is something they haven’t explored; they’d be more comfortable with a national tour than a Broadway run, it’s more similar to what they do at a nuts-and-bolts level.” A decision is ultimately reached by quorum to make Concerts West’s involvement in a national tour contingent on investing in the Broadway run first, and the counter-offer is duly sent their way.

As the business side shores up, the creative side is beginning to percolate as well. Meetings are had with John Rando, the Urinetown director who attended the concert and spoke very enthusiastically about the show in Riedel’s column. He’s very excited about the chance to work on the show, both to work with David Ives again (having done numerous shows at Encores! together, he feels working with David will be really special and help focus the play) and especially to work with Meat. “I’d get to hear him sing every day,” Rando enthuses. “That’s a blessing. Can you imagine that? Every single day of your life you get to hear that voice.” He also ticks the right boxes when it comes to the commercial appeal of the piece and how it meshes with his vision for the show: “It’s such a different reality. It’s silly and fun and kind of glamorous, too. These vampires sort of pull you in and you find you’re turned on by them, too! It’s a wonderful, Gothic playground.” When asked for suggestions for a choreographer, and more specifically if they should ask his choreographer on Urinetown, John Carrafa, to be a part of the show, Rando is mildly hesitant but mostly enthusiastic. Jim is admittedly happiest when it comes to Rando’s assessment of how much creative control he should be allowed to have: “Look, Jim, what are you worried about? It’s your baby! You’ve been working on it forever! The quality, the tone, the ideas, the music... this play is all you! You’d be very much a part of it.”

More progress is made when a new set designer is engaged: David Gallo. Jim immediately likes him instinctively, when, upon meeting him for the first time, Gallo stops the interview process dead. “I have two things to tell you before we continue. Number one: I’m probably the only set designer in America who still subscribes to Heavy Metal Magazine. Number two: I bought Bat Out of Hell because I saw the album cover artwork and decided I had to have it before I even heard the music.” This is no idle compliment, considering the album cover was conceived by Steinman and executed by Richard Corben... and a sequence very similar to the events depicted on the cover forms the shape of one of Vampires’ opening scenes. His sample sketches of the sets are surprisingly atmospheric as well.

The more things shape up on the creative end, however, the more everyone on the business side of the table nervously eyes the chair where Meat Loaf should be. Since his firing of Kovac, who was more a hindrance than a help so is not really missed, he hasn’t said word one to anybody. Irving Azoff, widely proclaimed the biggest agent in the world, who attended the concert and may be interested in the show, is sending them queries about who is managing Meat now, hinting that he has his eye on Meat as a client. But nobody knows what’s going on with him. When he is finally able to get him on the phone, Jim pleads with Meat to see him, one on one if need be. Meat agrees.

The scene: Le Bar Bat, in Hell’s Kitchen on West 57th. Only 9 years prior, Steinman had conducted an interview for Bat Out of Hell II at this very establishment, celebrating his and Meat Loaf’s long-awaited reunion. Plastic bats still hang from the ceiling, and the bar is still sparsely attended. A deafening fusion group still plays a seemingly endless set. Steinman greets them, as per tradition, with a cheery “fuck off!” as they finish a tune. Meat sits alone in a booth, awaiting Jim’s arrival. He rummages through his CBS Records holdall, his shoulder juddering as if it were a pneumatic drill. His graying hair could do with a shampoo. Finally, he finds what he is seeking: a couple of throat lozenges, which he pops. “Jimmy, I don’t think I can do the show.” Immediately Jim’s heart is in his throat: “WHAT?!?” “What we’re about to do is insane! Lunatic. Totally insane. We’re just gonna go out there in front of everybody with our pants down!” Jim, searching for a way to respond, can only come out with “Think of it as a character-building experience! It’ll be amazing!”

“Have you read what your fans are saying about this on the Internet? They’re saying you should be sticking aside all the old, fat guys named after a dinner dish! ‘Get rid of Meat Loaf.’ They don’t want to see me do this!” “Now, Meat, come on. You know better than to buy into their bullshit. If I believed what I read on the Internet about anything I should do, I’d never get anything done. You’re going to be glad that you stuck with it.” “Well... we need to go out of town first. New York is the hardest when it comes to people being critical. We’re gonna be judged. A lot.” “Meat, you know we can’t afford to do that. Besides, every musical that you’ve done on Broadway has opened cold in New York. I like having the preview audience be the New York audience. There’s no BS -- they’re right there telling you what you need to fix. It’s great.”

Meat heaves a sigh: “Jimmy, I’ll be honest with you; I’m more tired now than I was when Amanda was two months old!” “Meat, listen to me. We have a lot of time. We’re gonna work very hard and very slowly. I know you’re not good at dealing with change, but you really have to stay focused and believe in the project.” “But Jimmy, it’s huge! It’s got to be one of the biggest shows on Broadway right now without even opening yet. And there’s still so much to work out.”

“What happened to Allen?” “He never believed in the show. You saw what happened when he kept the door open for Night of the Proms. After the concert, I called him to ask why he wasn’t there, and he said to me, ‘Y’know, an album and a tour are still possibilities, so why not do that instead? At least you know that will sell.’ We got into it pretty hard, and he called our show garbage. He said I did better off away from you, and that if I did this album and the tour, I could retire, or I could come back afterwards if you wanted to talk Bat III, but he was adamant that I was not doing this show. It became pretty clear to me that it was going to come down to either you or him.” Jim, touched, perhaps even a little misty-eyed: “And you chose me?” “As if I had a choice! Jim, you’re my brother. I love you... more than you’ll ever know.”

A beat of silence, awkward, emotional, and then... “Irving Azoff liked the concert.” “Yeah?” “He keeps calling us. I think he wants to sign you, and he wants to do the show too. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a manager who was on the same page?” “...will it get him to produce if I sign with him?” “I dunno. Maybe?” “I’ll give him a call. What else is going on?” Jim proceeds to update him on everything going on with the show, culminating in the reminder that they have a meeting with John Carrafa coming up to decide his suitability to the choreographic duties. “Can I count on you to be there?” “Jim, I’m signing the contract for a year, manager or no manager. If we’re fortunate enough to run, that’s how long I’ll be here. And then I’ll be in a nursing home, no doubt!” For the first time all night, both men laugh. A rosy future may well be in sight.

TO BE CONTINUED!

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bbybaphomet · 4 years

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COLA | cory.

If there has been one thing to stand out about Cory Osada, best known by the moniker Cola, it’s his tenacity. From the beginning of his roller-coaster career, Cola has met controversy, hate and hyperscrutiny largely with witty retorts and a self-assured insistence on keeping forward. Cola has grown up in the public eye, evolved from a precocious teenager mumble-rapping love songs in his bedroom to an international pop star, with over a hundred song-writing credits to his name and a kingdom of his own in form of Chapel Records, a label collecting the misfits of the Korean pop industry and giving them their deserved platforms. Many love Cola, many hate him; but one can not imply he hasn’t put the work in- from his debut album in 2015, he’s put out a full-length record every year since- until 2020.

“2019 was the best year of my life until it wasn’t.” Cola said in an interview earlier in the year. And it certainly did seem like everything had finally come up Cola. He Has been nominated for Best Male Soloist at MAMA 2019- his first ever nomination, and his pre-singles for his fifth full album were skyrocketing up the charts. The fifth record, ‘Richer Than God & Twice As Pretty,’ was all set to be his third in a row to score a number one on the charts- Until, almost immediately after it’s release, 10 out of 12 tracks eligible for single release were banned from radio and broadcast with no option for alteration- and for reasons largely considered vapid by fans and the general public alike. And unlike previous instances of controversy, Cola had no smirk for the cameras, no wink nor nudge. Cola’s TV appearances to promote the record were brief and his spirits appeared broken, and he publicly wrote a message online to state that he was on the verge of giving up completely. His angry performance at MAMA later in the year was only punctuated by his loss of the award. Cola looked, and would later describe feeling, like he had finally been defeated by the industry that seemed so against letting his hard work and undeniable talent be rewarded.

And so, come July 2020, after dedicating the first half of the year to the star’s push into acting and directly following his performance of a bombastic 33-song setlist at Lost Land 9 times over three weekends, Cola has once more pushed against convention as he drops his sixth record and first ever mini-album, simply titled ‘cory.’

‘cory.’ contains five songs, including the track ‘La Vie En Rose’ which had been made available on streaming services ahead of his festival tenancy, and ‘So That’s Where Your Face Went,’ which was performed as untitled throughout his set list. However, despite the EP dropping in the wake of the most public dark patch in the young singer’s career, ‘cory.’ carries a largely hopeful overtone; ‘I Got Hope (Cause Yesterday Is All Over)’ dares to look at the future as it celebrates what is perhaps Cola’s biggest personal strength- his ability to stand up, dust himself off, and keep going.

Cola will not be promoting ‘cory.’, and no single from it have been sent to radio. “I wrote it for myself,” said Cola. “Because I needed to remember that this entire career I have started cause I just love to write music. It’s really, really fun. And it’s gotten me through a lot tougher things than what I’m going through right now. And I wasn’t going to put this record out, cause it was just... therapy? But performing at Lost Land, I saw kids in the crowd crying as they sang along to my songs. And I think, more than any award or number one single, that validated me. And then, I dunno. I guess I remembered who the fuck I am.”

tracklist

i. La Vie en Rose ii. So That’s Where Your Face Went iii. Dreamlove iv. Waltz v. I Got Hope (Cause Yesterday Is All Over)

EXCLUSIVE: Cola gives a track-by-track explanation of cory.

LA VIE EN ROSE

La Vie En Rose was the first song I wrote out of the five on this EP, and I knew straight away that it had to be the sort of... intro to the record? I’ve recently had a huge episode of poor mental health, and that was worsened by both the way that my last record, Richer Than God, was... kind of sabotaged by people with more power than me. But on top of that, I also saw the end of my first real serious relationship. The negative side of experiencing the type of, like... intense, meaningful, love- the kind of love where you’re like “Okay, I thought I had but I’ve definitely never been in love before this” is when it all comes to an end, and then you have to realise “okay, I thought I had but I’ve definitely never fucking had my heart broken like this.” And so I was in a really dark place, where every day I’d wake up and before I opened my eyes, my first thought was that my heart was broken. And so I think I wrote La Vie En Rose in response to how low I was feeling, because it’s such a peaceful song. La Vie En Rose translates to The Life In Pink, which is a very Me phrase, but it’s also a saying similar to “looking through Rose-coloured glasses.” The lyrics reference that idiom, because I think above anything else, La Vie En Rose is a song about choosing to look on the bright side. It’s not as easy as just choosing to be happy, but wanting to recover is the only way you can start recovering. In the bridge, there’s a line about “crafting my new armour.” Ive grown up in the media, and so I definitely built up a tolerance to negativity. But for some reason, the Bans from last year really, really hurt me. They wounded my spirit, and for a while I was ready to just throw the towel in, especially as it sparked up all the old accusations of noise-marketing and doing things for shock value. It’s only been seven months. I needed some time to breathe and let myself feel what I was feeling and figure out how I deal with it this time.

SO THAT’S WHERE YOUR FACE WENT

This is a difficult one. So That’s Where Your Face Went just kind of happened, as a song. I think I came up with the melody of the hook in the car, and I just started singing “It’ll pass, chill. Stay alive, it kills.” This was the last song I wrote for the record, and it almost wasn’t going to be on it because I didn’t think I’d finish it in time. I think I was very influenced by the character I played in the drama True Beauty. I saw a lot of myself in that character, which is a really difficult thing to feel considering how his storyline ended. And so I think a lot of this song is complicated emotions. I’m definitely singing to myself up until the last little outro. But I think like... to sum it up, the song is strange and weird and I don’t really know how to explain it succinctly, but it’s ultimately about being in a shitty and scary situation and dealing with that in unhealthy ways.

DREAMLOVE

Dreamlove is definitely one of the sweetest melodies I’ve ever written. More than anything, it’s about the honeymoon phase of a new relationship. I’m not in a new relationship, and actually, I’m currently getting over a breakup of a long term one. But it’s more of a metaphor of where I’m at in life now. I think Richer Than God and everything that came from that, for better or worse, marked a turning point in my life for me. It’s been a really rough few months ever since, but I’m at at the start of a new chapter and I’m excited, which is why I wanted to write a honeymoon phase song. I had my first heartbreak but it’s healing now, and I’m pretty excited about the future. Even if things inevitably get hard again, I’m enjoying feeling hopeful.

WALTZ

Waltz is an escapism song. It’s kind of similar in sentiment to my song “Barbie Jeep Getaway.” It’s about just wanting to run away and separate myself from everything going on around me. I think I’ve been craving that more than ever. I promised myself a break after what happened with my last album, but then while I guess I gave myself a break from music, I totally worked the entire time. Waltz was kind of this... wish fulfilment that I could just run away and not look back for a while, because I don’t feel good enough and want to be relieved of that pressure, at least for a little while. “I just wanna waltz around it, then it never hurts” is kind of the attitude I’ve had to all the negativity I’ve had to face in my career. I haven’t really given myself a breathe to deal with it, and last year a straw broke the back on that camel. Laughing it all off and basing my image around how much I don’t care about what people think of me may make me look really cool, but it doesn’t do much for my mental health.

I GOT HOPE (CAUSE YESTERDAY IS ALL OVER)

I think the title of this song is pretty self-explanatory. I think that this song is the one that kind of best delivers the thesis of the album in the same way En Rose does. Which is why I knew as soon as I wrote it that it had to be the last song on the record. This EP is about a rough patch, and a broken heart and a sabotaged album that I poured my soul into, but it’s not negative because I think I started writing this as a means to cheer myself up. Performing at Lost Land the past weekend really showed me that no matter what, I do have worth as an artist. That’s what I was struggling with. I was considering never releasing another song again because I didn’t think there was space for me in this industry anymore, and when all those songs from Richer Than God were banned, I felt like I’d been essentially told to just give up. Lost Land really reminded me why I love this, and having all those people sing along to all the songs I wrote, to see faces in the crowd crying because I had made them feel happy, that meant more to me than any number one or any award I might have gotten had I been allowed to promote my album properly. I think the theme of this EP is just... I’m still hurt. I still have a lot to work through, I still need time to heal, but as things stand right now? I feel a little bit better. And I’m willing to count that as a win.

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almostentirelylost-blog · 7 years

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The Forgotten Post

The Multi-Part Great Big Post

Part I: The Poorly Planned Castle Visit

It's been a while since I've written up a post, and that's for a few very good reasons. Let's see, two days gone by undocumented, and still no pictures that were promised. They'll come at some point, I swear it. So for context, I'm currently on a train on my way out of Dresden heading towards Prague, about a two hour trip, and some of the most beautiful countryside i've seen in a very long while. Looks like we just arrived at Bad Schandau, look up some pictures. So. My last day in Berlin consisted of one very poorly planned, very fun trip out to Potsdam. Beautiful town, that one, sort of where the rich folk like to have their homes for the sake of some sort of theater/filmmaking business. I guess it's sort of a mini Hollywood, or maybe that's just nearby. I can't remember, but the point of the trip was to go see a castle. Schloss Cecilienhof, specifically, and it turns out that the entire thing is under construction and has been for 3 years already. Go figure, but I didn't do any research and my grandmother doesn't use the internet at all.

Sort of a bummer that we didn't get to really see the castle very well. I mean we saw it, but all covered with scaffolding and tarp. The grounds were gorgeous though, immacutely kept gardens and pathways. The sort of place where I'm sure you'd find a hedge maze. Also right on a river, and I can't remember which river that was to save my life. So we walked the grounds, enjoyed that, and then went on our merry way to find a beer.

We found that beer at the Brauerei Meierei. The place might as well be a museum, except it still produces that delicious, frosty, malted beverage we all know and love. In massive quantities (three story tall brewery, which I haven't seen before on that scale), and served in half-litres or litres in heavy glass steins right on the riverfront. We tried to take a boat tour too, but we also missed out on that one. A shame really. Anyhow, the trip back to Berlin wasn't very interesting, just trains and busses, back to the luggage disaster I had to re-organize and sort through to decide what I needed for the next leg of the journey.

Part II: The Next Leg of the Journey

Got everything sorted out that I needed, freaked out a little bit, calmed down, had a cup of coffee, and then hopped on a train to Dresden. The idea was to go out there to see an old friend of mine, one Fritz Stenzel. Well, that and sightseeing because I'm still totally a tourist. Dresden is an incredible, old city with a very long histoy in science, religion, art, war, and medicine. The various museums and palaces are standing testaments to these things and many of them house incredible old collections of any combination of all of the aforementioned things. The most notable building are the Frauenkirche,and the Zwinger.

The Frauenkirche is a stupidly large stone church of typical stupidly large European church varieties. It's unfair how pretty it is, and the art inside is even worse.

Oh look at that, I'm now official in Czechia. Anyways, church. The line was long, but there was also a guided tour going to the top of the tower. A little cupola or whatever those rounded domes at the top of these old buildings are called. the ones you can walk around in that usually have bells and all that. That was neat, but the spiral staircase leading up to it brought a whole new dimension to the word 'treacherous'. Not that it mattered much, I only really peeked into the building. My real interest was in the Zwinger.

The Zwinger. Once a capitol building/royal palace, it has now been turned into a museum and a monument. It is well maintained and the gardens are beautiful with some ancient old carved fountains layed tastefully throughout. There are also three museums there. An art museum with an extensive collection of works from the 16th-18th century. Most of this is religious art, Christian/Catholic, and a few Greek and Roman pieces as well. I took pictures of the ones that really stood out to me. The next museum was more interesting to me, since it was all old scientific equipment and nautical navigation, or the beginnings thereof. Have you ever seen a handmade astrolabe? Beautiful, though I can't understand why you would need to make them out of 7 different metals. It was Czech, I suppose, and they had a thing for alchemy. Last was a porcelain museum. Pretty, but not all that interesting.

After that I got a call from my buddy and headed his way, right in the middle of downtown Neu-Stadt. Good to be able to pick up a friendship again after 6 years of not seeing one another. For those of you that know my taste in music, he's the man that got me started down this path. First thing in order was a beer, then a shower and change, because Dresden is hot in the summertime. Then we went and drank more beer at a fun little jazz/blues club called Evergreen. A Czech beer even, called Gambrinus. Very cheap, but tastes good. Would recommend to Euro-travelers that might be reading. Night of drinking, yay.

Part III: First Time in Czechia

So far all I can say is that the countryside is gorgeous. All rolling hills, green fields, and lush, diverese forests. Pretty. The city of Prague is also astonishing, as it turns out. At the train station I met a fellow American traveler and togetherwe decided that the best decision at the time was to find ourselves a good Czech beer and some goulash. That was more or less instant success, as I guess he was something of a foodie, and knew exactly where the best places were. Over lunch it was all scheming and plotting about what was next.

A really neat thing about Prague is how big and old the buildings are, but that also translates to some very dark, confined streets. Anywhere you go is paved in cobblestones and overshadowed by great old stone gargoyles or carvings of forgotten alchemists and kings. The city is also basically a maze. It turns out that I get absolutely no cell service in Prague at all, so that was a maze I learned how to navigate the old fashioned way. Czech is a pretty funny language too; impossible to understand and yet it's frustratingly familiar. Familiar really is the best word for that feeling, where it seems like I should be able to understand everything just because the intonation and pronunciations are so similar. I don't know, there were a lot of doubletakes and little wait-a-moment moments.

I stayed at an Airbnb for the first time that night. I'd booked it on the train on the way in, it seemed like that would both be the cheapest and best option, plus I got lucky with a really central location. Took me like two hours to find the damn place though, because there was no signage and the door was a four meter tall cast iron monstrosity that honestly didn't even look like it could be moved. Turns out it was just a regular apartment building, and by that I mean Eastern European regular. For any of you that have seen Interview with a Hitman, think along the lines of the apartment building that movie starts in. Room had 6 beds, a gorgeous view of the city, and a couple of exhausted looking Australians that I later saw pounding 40's and smoking in the stairwell.

Part IV: Alchemy, Green Liquors, and Metal

Prague at night is special too. The entire city lights up and really comes to life. All those little cobblestone streets and gothic monuments turn into mysterious, gloomy corridors with all the feel and air of the 16th century, alchemy fueled, scientific center that the city was. I won't get too much into the details of the night-life, since it's more or less the same everywhere, except that I found a metal bar! A really neat place called Hell's Bells, where I spent a fair amount of time drinking and talking with a couple of Estonian metalheads I met.

The Czech have a tendency to buy people they think are cool shots. Specifically shots of this flourescent, toxic looking, green liquor that I can't remember the name of. Not that I could pronounce it even if I did have it written down somewhere. I learned pretty quickly that there's a proper way to do that shot too. You're supposed to gargle a little bit first,and then down the rest. Holy shit that was a sight to see. A bar full of Czech guys gargling liquor and then singing some sort of drinking song... Any case, the stuff isn't something I think I'm going to be drinking more of. Way too sweet and way too minty. Hell it might actually be mouthwash, but with more sugar. Bleh.

So, woke up with a bit of a hangover, showered, dressed, forced some food, drank lots of fruit juice and here I am on a train, almost in Vienna, felling a whole lot better and looking forward to some opera and a really nice dinner...

Pictures will be uploaded from the hotel at some point tomorrow, probably.

#dresden #zwinger #museums #beer #elbe #czech republic #prague #trains #morebeer #alestorm #opeth #metalbar #thanks mom

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