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modernbookfae · 7 years

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In the Next Life

“I’ll meet you again in the next life.” Words that have carried through time and ones that Cassian knows well. He offers words of a similar manner to Nesta when he thinks the end has arrived - for he will always find her.

Words: 1.3k | Tags: Angst, Nessian

Brutality ran through his veins. That was who Enalius was. An Illyrian warrior, the first of his kind, and leader to those he commanded.

For the past few months he had been negotiating with the Night Court’s High Lord for territory in the northern mountains for Illyrian training camps. He was supposed to maintain focus on that one goal alone, but that was before he met her.

Anessia was a fae princess from lands far East. She came into Enalius’s life as if she were a storm. And the Illyrian commander was swept off his feet by sheer beauty and ferocity that she possessed.

They had become increasingly intimate in the time they shared. Drawn together by something neither could comprehend. Slowly their relationship grew into something that Enalius became fearful of. He shouldn’t be consumed by the need that gripped him tight. Desire he understood. He had bedded females before, but Anessia…Nes…she was more than that. He couldn’t resist her and those rare smiles he would give him. Or the brief touches when they were out in public.

Enalius was not supposed to be at the mercy of a female who held his heart in her delicate hands.

Hands that were currently resting on his bare chest in the early morning light in his bedroom at the Night Court.

Enalius cursed the dawn. For it meant that there time together was ending. He knew what he had to do. Knew that to protect her he would need to do the unthinkable.

He glanced down at Anessia. She slept peacefully against his scarred body. Her shoulder and the top of her breasts peeked out from underneath the sheets that Enalius covered her with when they were both exhausted from a night of love making.

Silently the Illyrian found the strength to leave the bed and search for his clothes that were scattered on the floor.

“Why do you always feel the need to get up so early?” Anessia mumbled against the pillow and cracked her eyes open to watch Enalius pick up his pants. It was a pleasant sight to wake up to in the morning and Anessia smiled as she started rise up from the bed.

“You’re people will be leaving today,” Enalius said without turning. “You need to prepare for the journey.” Anessia and traveling group were only meant to pass through the Night Court to reach other lands to seek alliances. One of those potentially being that Anessia, heir to the throne, would be married to a high-born fae. Someone with a better standing than a bastard Illyrian warrior could offer.

Quietness settled over the room.

“And what if I didn’t want to go with them?” Anessia questioned.

“You are the heir to your court. One day you will be a queen,” Enalius responded stiffly. “We both knew from the start that this,” he gestured to the bed. “would never last.”

“I want to stay here,” Anessia stood from the bed. Determination hardening her voice. “I want to stay here with you Enalius.”

“Nonsense,” Enalius gritted out and tossed Anessia her clothes. “You should be marrying a king or someone of higher birth. And I am far from that.”

“I don’t care about your birthright,” Anessia walked forward. Her fingers tenderly touched Enalius’s back. Tracing the tattoos there and slowly brushing up against the base of the dark wings.

“I love you Enalius,” Anessia breathed and kissed the skin between of her lover’s shoulder blades.

A sigh threatened to escape Enalius at the gentle touch of the soft lips on his back.

“Nes,” Enalius breathed. He almost lost all of his willpower right then and there. His hand shook with restraint as he barely resisted the urge to reach for her.

“You also promised to take me flying,” Anessia continued. A hint of desperation sinking into her tone as she realized that Enalius still refused to turn and face her. As if he was seriously considering that they part ways.

“We – I can’t do that,” Enalius stepped away from Anessia. His heart being crushed as he could feel sadness radiating from behind him.

“Are you ashamed of me? Is that why you won’t talk to me in public? Or why you push me aside when your friends are near?” Anessia’s tone became laced with confusion and fury. She hated that their relationship had to be kept secret.

“Of course not,” Enalius found his shirt and tugged it on. “But this would never have lasted.”

“That’s only because you’re afraid to fight for it! To fight for us!” Anessia’s voice cracked as tears welled in her eyes. “Ironic how the greatest Illyrian warrior is to afraid to fight for love.”

Anessia quickly put on her clothes and brushed by Enalius on her way out. Her hand froze on the doorframe and she turned to look back at him one last time.

“I will look for you,” she whispered softly. “In the next life.”

Then she was gone.

Enalius watched her go. Every passing second making it difficult to restrain himself from chasing after her. Begging her to stay.

But this was for the best. She deserved better than a bastard warrior with no other title than the bloodshed that followed in his wake.

He ran her last words over in his head again and again long after Anessia’s departure.

I will look for you in the next life.

It was the farewell he had taught her about. One reserved for your closest companions. To those more precious than anything in the world.

Because it was a promise to meet again after death claimed them.

And Enalius knew that he would never see Anessia in this life again. She was bound to follow her duty to her subjects. And he was bound to live a life filled with war.

Weeks later Enalius felt a tug in his ribs. It felt so familiar to what he and Anessia shared yet he ignored the pull from the invisible string and did not answer the call that thrummed deep in his soul.

The string pulled taut as a wave of fear washed over him that was quickly replaced with a sense of peace so startling that it made Enalius buckle against one of the brick buildings in Velaris. Enalius heaved in gulps of air knowing that something was not right, but he had no understanding of what it could be.

He soon discovered the next day why he felt as though the world had been pulled from under his feet and anguish filled his lungs.

The Summer Court sent word that Anessia’s people had been ambushed.

And Anessia was killed during the attack as she died protecting her little sister.

Ennalius felt nothing but a murderous calm settle over him as the Summer Court messenger explained in detail what happened. Hearing what they did to Anessia – to her people who she cared for more than her own life – it sharpened the blade that twisted in his heart.

The High Lord of the Night Court requested that Ennalius and his group of warriors eliminate the threat that the rogue fae posed. By that point the Illyrian was already grabbing for the blade he always kept at his side.

Ennalius would destroy the beasts even without an official order. These bastards would pay dearly for what they had done.

It didn’t take long for the flying Illyrians to track their targets and kill them. Ennalius cut down his opponents with swiftness followed by a trail of screams and blood. All the while making sure he made them suffer. A quick death was far too merciful.

When it was all over Ennalius still felt empty in the depths of his sould amid that carnage at his feet. Usually battles kept him at ease, because bloodshed was all he knew, but he knew there was a void in his heart that could not be filled.

“I will find you again in the next life,” Ennalius whispered to the chasm of emptiness in his chest. Hoping his voice would reach Anessia – his Nes – wherever she was in the next world.

#nessian #nesta and cassian #cassian and nesta #acowar #a court of wings and ruin #acowar fanfic #nessian fanfic #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta

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