so here's the scoop

Actually before that, I wanna say that I've participated in the Erasermic Omegaverses Zine this year, can't remember if I yelled about that on here? I was a fic writer for that - if you like Erasermic and like ABO, here's the link to the collection on Ao3! Mind the tags on the individual fics, please! ANYWAY. I've had. A fucking. Time. Kinda a rant and also an explanation for why I've been absent and also why I linked my kofi at the bottom of this. A lot of shit happened!🙃 This summer, my Papa passed away. I loved him. I really did. He was funny, kind, and he took shit from absolutely no one. If it hadn't been him I would have said I wasn't going to go help out and I was just going to go to the funeral. But it was him, so I told my friends that I was going back to the city, and I was going to help settle everything, pack his things, etc, because I loved him. I should have stayed home. First of all, my family treated me like free labor and like shit while I was there to help out. Second of all, I got into a car accident on the way to the funeral and the guy who hit me tried to intimidate me into not calling the police before driving off - and yes, I was injured. Third, my family "expressed concern" over my injury and then proceeded to have me write the obituary, decorate the funeral room alone, and asked me to be a pallbearer while injured. I could go into so much more detail but I'll spare you the horror of My Family™️. I'm honestly surprised I made it home without collapsing. AND ON THAT NOTE: A week later, I did collapse. Dramatically, and with flair. I was recovering from both whiplash, grief, and having to spend time with My Family™️ and over at my friend's grandmother's house when suddenly I didn't feel well. I stood up to splash some water on my face, got into the restroom, realized, "Hm, this is more serious than Not Feeling Well, I should tell someone Right Fucking Now," wobbled back into the other room, told the grandmother that something was wrong, and then proceeded to collapse to the ground and have a heart attack. After that, my heart rate would not calm the fuck down and I had wild heart palpitations for the next seven hours! Yes, I went to the hospital. I have been to the hospital twice more after that, had several more doctor appointments, have had several tests done (including a Tilt Table test, which 0/10, do not recommend), and there's plenty more that I could talk about (like the Tilt Table test, though I might just make a TikTok account for just to rant about that akdhfa it's both not funny and FUNNY), but what it all boils down to is this: I have a very, very severe case POTS all of a sudden and my doctor is still trying to figure out what the hell caused it. Currently I'm trying for disability benefits because I legitimately cannot work - my sleep schedule is fucked, my energy levels are all over the place, I can't stand for long at all without fainting and I can't sit for varying length of time without the same. I hate to even do this, but I'm a broke bitch who has medical bills for tests and operations (god I have one in just a few days and I am NOT looking forward to it) that I can't pay for because I don't have insurance, so: Here's my kofi page if you'd like to buy me a coffee or help me not stress about the multiple doctors visits I have every month!

I do have, like, actual things I want to talk about other than "Oh this is what I've been up to - BEING SICK" - like the cute EMic fics I have in the works, the Cheeky Brat fic I've been working on and haven't been talking about on here because it's 🤭 e x p l i c i t (teehee) and even my DnD shit that is mostly entirely self indulgent but I don't care I'm going to shove it in your faces anyway.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to. I've posted about a good portion of this on Twitter, so I know some of you guys know about this, but I wanted to give Tumblr a heads up that I am bed ridden and Doing My Best.😫