#but as strangers on tje internet who dont even know me
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#some days i dont think ive been infected by religious trauma#bit then some days i just remember the fact ive literally cried to sleep about the fact if whether there is a hell#and whether im going there for being who i am#like ive come to believe that im not a good person at all and it has nothing to do with what ive done or even with me as a person#but as what i am#max rambles#i try not to let it get to me bc i just dont really care ab what others have thought of me#but like. this is something ingrained#and it wasnt even done by people i consoder to be my family#but as strangers on tje internet who dont even know me#saying im going to hell for not being straight or not being cis#that i should repress it#queerness has existed since the first civilizations and i just fell like im letting my ancestors down#by not being able to do Anything#edit: like. i dont like when people say over and over 'this is test and you decide your path'#i dont like people seeing me just sitting there and say that its Bad#i dont want people to just look at me and think im bad
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