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#but alsoooo i might just be suppressing Just Romantic feelings bc they're inconvenient
feral-lad
·
2 years
Text
HSJDGSJSK
#YEARNING
#this is terrible i hate it make it stop
#oh [REDACTED] ur just too charming................ 😓
#complicated feelings for ur bestie be like:
#'well OF COURSE i love them!!!! but not like that..... wait.. actually.... hmm........'
#it's so strange like i Feel Like perhaps the 'queerplatonic' label fits here but i've also never explored what exactly that means To Me
#that + the 'kissing the homies' meme unironically
#Affectionate Queer Friendships r just built so different & i think that's beautiful even tho it hurts my Society™-poisoned brain
#but alsoooo i might just be suppressing Just Romantic feelings bc they're inconvenient/
#i have an antagonistic relationship w my romantic attraction (i hate it & it hates me back <3<3)
#FUCK i wish i was aro
#i am just naturally v affectionate & loving to my friends in general like why can't that be enough for me ;_;
#also something something relationship anarchy
#it's all v difficult tho bc also i feel everything Very Intensely & having SOME way of sorting/categorizing/organizing my feelings
#is helpful as i try to navigate them
#though i could probably do w a healthier/more useful/etc way of doing that
#bc obsessing over 'is it plantonic or romantic or something else' has been a Reccuring Thing for me in the past
#& i think subconsciously the purpose of that has just been to distract myself from the issue at hand
#('i am feeling a STRONG affection for my close friend & a need to express it & i am afraid doing so will cause problems')
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