#but I definitely got multiple asks that were mentioning similar things/of a similar tone (intentionally referring to me as a 'girl' 'woman'
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Okay, here’s a final answer, just for clarification -
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Firstly, please understand that I’m not angry, and I’m not upset. I just tend to speak very matter of factly, I guess? If I seem cold or something when typing this response, it's not a personal attack towards you or some display of aggression, that's just how I word things sometimes, I don't mean for them to be misinterpreted or want you to think I’m like getting mad with you or etc. Me disagreeing does not inherently equal me being mad about something, it merely means that I disagree, which is an emotion neutral action. If someone said 2+2 = 6, I would disagree, and openly so, but that doesn’t mean I’d also be like, crying about it or upset with them or something lol.
I actually even stated so at the end of my tags last time -
So, I apologize if you interpreted my tone as being mean, but I was simply trying to be firm and direct in how I said things so you understand that it's a very serious matter, and I didn't want to be light about it.
There was a bit of jokiness/sarcasm/exaggeration as well I suppose, but again, that’s not an inherent indicator of upset, just the way I speak - especially when your question can be seen as rude to begin with (which usually leads people to care less about faking positive emotions or seeming polite to others. If a person is not polite to you, you’re not likely to watch how you communicate as much or attempt to display high politeness back). My default state is a neutral flatness as I have a very shallow emotional range (shout out to schizophrenia spectrum negative symptoms and other various issues lol), any excessive positivity or “perkiness” or something that I display is just an attempt to be polite and communicate with others in a simple and kindly manner (in real life I’m often seen as too stoic, blunt, detached, cold, etc. lmao, so in general communication with strangers I tend to overcompensate to being excessively polite instead) - but that also means I can accidentally drop that sometimes if I’m being “real” or whatever.
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Anyway, now that concerns over my tone have hopefully been explained, I’ll address this issue about your previous ask in a numbered list. Please read ALL of this, if you are actually taking this seriously. If you don’t actually read, in detail (no skimming), this entire response, then this is not even a discussion since you’re not willing to genuinely engage in the first place. -
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Firstly, here is the original ask, for reference ----
As for how your question can be rude:
(1.) In my initial response (in the tags of your answer), I asserted various things, mostly that the question was rude, and that it’s not appropriate to ask people, for a variety of reasons. I’ll explain those in more length here.
My main point is that even asking the question in the first place is rude. It doesn’t matter how specifically you word it, it’s not appropriate. Just like any personal issue. At least in my culture, it’s typically thought of as inconsiderate and inappropriate to ask random strangers personal questions. for example, it would be rude to approach a random stranger on the bus that you’ve never even seen before and ask them why the have the haircut they do, who their sexual partners are, if they’ve just had a death in the family, how well their marriage is going, what their gender is, etc. etc.
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(2.) On top of this personal boundary issue, another concern would be that the nature of the question itself is baseless --
Would you ask a cis woman why they're a woman? Or a cis man why he chose to be a man? Would you ask a straight person why they chose to be straight?
Would you find it acceptable and polite if a random stranger approached you on the street and asked you for an explanation as to why you're the gender you are? Imagine that exact scenario happening to you, and if you would find it odd or overstepping boundaries at all.
I doubt you ask this same gender identity question to everyone in your life, to your parents, friends, the cashier at your grocery store. Why is it only certain groups that need to explain or justify their identities to you? Only certain groups that you feel the inherent need to question? It's a double standard which further serves to prove the question itself is unnecessary.
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(3.) Additionally, in case you're genuinely unsure of tone (maybe you have difficulty reading social cues or something, that’s understandable) I will explain - the way in which the question was asked has certain implications.
The statement “Why are you nonbinary? You seem like a pretty girl to me”, implies that - due to your beliefs about me/how you see me, you find it confusing that I could have a certain identity that you see as not matching your perception of me, or that you see as an invalid label, and are asking for me to justify or explain myself/my identity to you because of that.
Even if this implied meaning was not intentional, it is what most people will interpret upon reading the question, and would be a commonly held understanding. There are other ways you could have asked the question which would be less condescending, yes, but again, the other points still stand (like that the question in itself is impolite to ask to strangers, etc.)
Again, revisit the imaginary scenario of a stranger approaching you on the street and asking you why you’re the gender you are - would there not be some of this implication present? For example, say you’re a man - would it not feel as if someone were questioning your manhood, or implying you weren’t truly a man, or must not be a man ‘correctly’, or that ‘man’ is not a valid label for how they see you? Why else would they approach you and ask you in confusion for you to justify your identity to them? The implication is that they don’t see you as a valid man, or at least not how they see a man, and thus are having a hard time accepting that someone like YOU could ever be a real man - that it’s hard for them to believe you are what you say you are, because they see you differently.
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(3.a) As an additional sidenote (one which I addressed in the tags replying to you initially), your ask (as well as this more recent one) also made certain assumptions. There are plenty of people who ''look like girls'' or 'look like boys' but aren't as they “seem”, even if you're someone who only believes in a “binary biological sex model” (I’ll include some links at the end about this). It's strange to assume someone's body parts or identity just based off of pictures you see on the internet (which often have specific lighting, angles, or in the case of many people are even edited and etc. I don't do this but it's really common nowadays with phone editing apps and stuff). Just because I appear a certain way to you, in no way implies that I have the physical form and traits you assume I have Consider how you may feel invalidated or uncomfortable if people sent you messages assuming personal things about you that are incorrect or that they have no way to possibly know.
Your standards and perception are also not universal, various cultures and groups have different ideas about what outward traits would make someone considered a “man” or a “woman”, so making your judgement of someone else’s identity based only on your own (extremely shallow, since it’s only from online pictures) perception of them, is also inherently a bit flawed.
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(3.b-ish side tangent) In extension to this, your ideas and how you view me are likely incorrect. Just as it is similarly true that, from afar, any assumptions I make about you would likely be inaccurate as well. We are strangers.
For example, if you really knew me, you would know that I don’t pride myself in costumes and makeup - It’s a fun creative activity for me definitely, but I feel no pride over it, I don’t do it to look good or seem a certain way, and actually I resent it in a way, because often it feels like people mostly only pay attention to blurry pictures of me looking silly in cheap wigs, but don’t give that same level of engagement to the other more important things I do that I personally care about 100x more, like my worldbuilding and other projects lol. Absolutely nothing against the people who like my costumes, I appreciate them of course!!, and I still love doing costumes - BUT, to imply that it’s a primary source of pride in my life or a characteristic that defines me over other things, would be a mischaracterization.
Anyone who knows me in real life would certainly list a million other stand-out traits to define me, rather than ‘pretty make up woman’ (most people I know in real life would also not describe me as ‘pretty’ or as a ‘woman’, just for reference lol).
Your one sided perception of me (which I’ll address in the next section) may allow you to have a shallow idea of me as some sweet pretty costume girl or something, but just know that the reality is more like: I haven’t had much time lately to do costumes because I’m working on a game and other art which I see as much more important, I haven’t bathed or brushed my hair in weeks because of mental illness/functioning issues, 99% of the time I’m not ‘’dressed up’’ - I wear the same pajamas and cardigan that I’ve worn for the past 3 years and barely wash to the point that it’s disintegrating and leaves fabric scraps around the house lol, I have a little moustache right now and a unibrow and other “””non-womanly”””” traits (at least by common media western standards, which is what I assume you go by), I’m excessively analytical, detached, and in real life you would probably see me as blunt and cold and cynical (also commonly missing social cues) - as well as being hugely asocial/ a hermit and mostly lacking the ability to form attachments to others (So definitely not ~pretty and cute and approachable~ ghgg), I have obsessive compulsive disorder and am regularly so anxious that I’m throwing up and have various other issues - I’m also not Fun or Cool or Spontaneous because I’m too busy being rigid and high strung lol (even before the pandemic, I don’t like to leave the house or interact much at all with others, I’d rather be in my little controlled environment where I don’t have overwhelming sensory information and distractions raising my anxiety constantly),, and my favorite activities are literally all just stuff like pacing around my home alone talking to myself in different voices creating gods and fake religions for my fantasy worldbuilding while I eat boiled cabbage and light little pieces of paper on fire over a candle to help me think - not doing makeup and other Pretty Woman Things.
Which I don’t want to be too harsh or focus on this tangent too much, since obviously as you don’t know me in real life, these are all things you couldn’t possibly be aware of, and it simply comes with the territory of posting publicly online - so I absolutely don’t blame you for perceiving me incorrectly. If “pretty” pictures are all you see, then that may very well be the only impression that you have. I just personally dislike this certain interpretation some people have seemed to have of me (you’re not the first person to think of me as a Pretty Makeup Girl or whatever lol), since it’s so completely opposite from the truth of who I am, I feel the need to explain it like this sometimes. Just accepting the false perception some people have of me without any argument feels disingenuous and like supporting a version of myself that doesn’t exist.
So anyway, no issue with you personally, but just trying to set the perception of me straight a little more accurately lol.. now, back on topic --
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(4.) Lastly, and here’s the main thing I’d like to stress, there's the issue of personal boundaries. Again, you're a complete stranger to me, I don't know who you are, and you have no idea who I am. Even if you've followed me online for years and read every post I've ever made, you still have no idea who I truly deeply am, only a vague scattering of snapshots over time.
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Here are some definitions for Parasocial Relationships:
“Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence. Parasocial relationships are most common with celebrities, organizations (such as sports teams) or television stars.”
“Parasocial interaction (PSI) refers to a kind of psychological relationship experienced by an audience in their mediated encounters with performers in the mass media, particularly on television.[1] PSI is described as an illusionary experience, such that media audiences interact with personas (e.g., talk show host, celebrities, fictional characters, social media influencers) as if they are engaged in a reciprocal relationship with them. The term was coined by Donald Horton and Richard Wohl in 1956. “
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This is all anyone can ever have with people they follow online. You can perceive them, but you cannot know them or truly understand them. I think this is very important to remain cognizant of in such a massive social media age, as often times people are fostering one sided concepts that are inaccurate or unhealthy (no so much with just you sending me a simple ask, but in a broader sense, how people act towards celebrities, other bloggers, etc. etc. seems to have little boundaries, and often results in a similar manner with people forgetting to maintain acceptable boundaries with those they follow or know about from afar).
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-- This next part is very important, I think it’s a super valuable way of thinking about this sort of stuff, so if you take away nothing else from this, at least remember this next portion --
A very good way to think about online boundaries that I heard someone mention in a post once (though I can no longer find the post), is to take whatever you're going to say to someone online, and imagine saying it in person, in real life, to a barista. Before you send an ask or make a comment, think about if it’s something you would really genuinely say face to face to a stranger.
Would you walk into a random Starbucks and ask the dude at the counter a bunch questions about their gender identity? Or about his personal life in general? You probably recognize that that would be strange and socially inappropriate. It's similarly inappropriate in a case like this.
Even though you may feel a sense of familiarity with someone online from reading their social media posts, or even speaking to them once or twice through asks and etc. etc., at the end of the day you don’t really know each other much more than you’d know a random stranger.
Unless someone is inviting personal questions (like by reblogging those ‘ask me anything’ posts or etc.), or has the sort of blog where they are commonly asking people about/discussing their own intimate personal experiences or etc. (mine is not this way), then questions like this are very out of the blue and similar to asking a random person working at a store things like that. It can be seen as rude and inappropriate in general to give those sorts of questions to people who are complete strangers, and typically comes off as crossing personal boundaries. Again, think about a random stranger asking you these questions, and how you may perceive it.
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In summary:
1. The question itself is borne from an double standard and isn't very good to ask in the first place. 2. The way you asked the question was worded with certain implications. 3. Your ask is also assuming certain things that you don't know are true, which can be uncomfortable for some people. 4. Even were it not for the three other things, it's commonly considered rude in many cultures to ask serious questions about the personal details of complete strangers, even if it's online. It could prove useful to utilize the ‘barista test’ to better determine this in the future.
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Final Thoughts:
Anyway, I wasn't mad and I have no beef with you or whatever lol. Hopefully you can understand what I mean. I've also explained myself as well as I think I can though, so I don't feel like discussing it any more and won't respond to further asks about this. I have a lot of things going on in my life right now (as I'm sure everyone does given the pandemic and everything, you probably do too, so hopefully you can empathize with that), so I’d like to limit my time spent online, especially discussing topics I already don’t like to discuss or am not open to accepting questions about (I just want to talk about cats and elves and stuff lol).
If you still can't at least kind of get where I'm coming from then it's perfectly fine to just agree to disagree. If aspects of myself upset you or cause you discomfort, then there's no harm in just unfollowing me or something! Or if you don't even follow me, I would encourage you to block me so my posts no longer come across your dash (or block/unfollow me on whatever other social media you may be seeing my posts on ,etc)., etc. That way you don't have to see content or hear from someone who makes you uncomfortable that way, and there also won't be any need for this to come up in the future. Part of using the internet in a healthy and productive manner is to know when to disengage with certain content and just cut it off/unfollow/block people/etc. if it’s causing you unnecessary conflict or distress, or makes you uncomfortable or etc. to look at. Thank you for the question! Hopefully this response explained things a little better.
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Links and Further Info:
On the off chance that you were genuinely curious, here are some resources where you can learn more about people of different gender identities and also hear them explain their experiences, etc. Since these people are actually openly discussing their experiences/making educational content and are obviously actually open to talking about it, that would be a better place to field any further questions or learn about things. :3
Here’s some reading -
Understanding Nonbinary People (link)
Gender Variance Around the World (link)
12 Questions About Nonbinary Gender Answered (link)
About the Sex Binary (link)
Ask LGBT subreddit (link)
one ‘ask a nonbinary person’ blog i found (I don’t know if they’re still active, it’s one of the first ones that came up for me lol, but I guess could be helpful) (link)
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And here’s some videos with people talking about their experience, or being educational -
(NOTE: I just did a quick google search and did not deeply research these people and their entire histories and etc., so I can’t say I stand by literally everything they say or know what type of people they are, but it’s just a general place to start~!)
A video examining the idea of gender in general and how it even exists and nonbinary people (definitely interesting to watch) (link)
video about nonbinary gender/explanations (probably at least watch this one too) (link)
What is a nonbinary gender? (shorter general info) (link)
answering all your nonbinary questions q&a (link)
Video about binary sex/gender/etc. (link)
5 nonbinary people explain what nonbinary means to them (link)
another video about similar stuff (link)
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#Please stop sending me asks about this now. I just want to talk about elves and cats and fantasy writing and stuff#No personal questions unless I specifically comment on something/initiate the discussion or they're about my art or something else I'm doing#lol... especially with everything going on this year#just a big Let Me Relax I Will Deal With Anything Even Remotely Stressful Later mood#ANd anon if you're still here - go listen to 'And the beat goes on' by The Whispers#no real reason gjhgjhg it's just a good song and I had it playing while I was proofreading#(also for context - it hasn't just been two asks - I'm pretty sure this person sent me others. If that's not true then I apologize anon -#but I definitely got multiple asks that were mentioning similar things/of a similar tone (intentionally referring to me as a 'girl' 'woman'#consistently and in a kind of agressive way or etc. (which you can block asks even if they're on anon (i think it's just an IP block) so if#it was indeed this anon sending them then they may be blocked from sending any more asks already because I blocked all those weird ones#I got lol. if it wasn't them then they should still be fine though- but anyway. there were other messages being sent#etc. consistently - which only happened after the first initial ask and would happen regualrly so. etc. etc. Just wanted to mention it since#the 'stop sending me asks about this now' comment doesn't make much sense if you think there was only two asks lol. I'm preetty sure#there were more - though of course they're all anon so I can't confirm. ANYWAY - again.. i have no beef with you but if we don't agree then#please just disengage and stop following my content/sending me asks - and maybe watch some of the videos and stuff or go to#other reasources if you really want to know about this stuff because I'm just not the right person/in the correct mindset to explain it to#you. I can barely do basic daily functions like making sure I eat 3 times a day lol.. I don't have the mental energy to write educational#essays and etc. but SOME people do - which is why pursuing other resources is important. ALSO - listen to The Whispers. that is my#final advice.. put on some good music and just dance and eat some cheddar cheese or something. this will soothe every issue )
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Alright curious anon here. All this is /dsmp /rp from here on out unless otherwise specified and is refering to characters. If i make any mistakes or am misinformed please let me know! So by the cat was nothing compared to mushroom henry i was meaning more toward the fact that the cow was killed as a punishment for something not worth or ok for it to be killed for at all and the fact that it belonged to tommy, wheareas the cat was killed more to annoy dream and belonged to tommy. (1/?)
alright then another lengthy reply, here i come! /lh /dsmp /rp
Dream also did not seem to mourn the cat much, shrugging it off with a "just more motivation to break out".
it was killed to hurt dream, not to "annoy him". it doesn't matter who it belonged to, c!dream was attached to it and it died, which had an effect on him and also further proved his point about attachments being weakness and caring getting you hurt, and it's still very sad.
you say that it was not ok at all to kill mooshroom henry, but the cat's death wasn't ok either, so i really don't see your point.
again, i disagree it was "nothing compared to" either way. i never meant to compare them in the first place, i was simply talking about the cat and c!dream so i don't see why it is in any way necessary to drag c!tommy and other dead pets into this. /nm
also, it isn't true he didn't mourn it. he is a very reserved person who doesn't show his feelings much, that's true, but the cat death still changed the way he acted afterwards, as well as the attempts he made to prevent it. he didn't "shrug it off", he yelled about it because he was understandably upset.
You mentioned that propganda was used to make dream seem like a tyrant, could you specify a bjt? Cus im a little confused srry /gen. Because the most i can remember from the lmanburg era at least is him being called a b'tch or other similar insults. You also mentioned how trauma responses can be differet which is true! I agree! Do you have any ideas to what caused dream the trauma?
wilbur would continuously make him out to be some sort of oppressive, tyrannical force, in front of his troops - a prime example of this being the lyrics of the l'manberg anthem itself and the l'manberg declaration of independence.
actually! here's a nice thread about l'manberg's establishment complete with links, timestamps and evidence :]
i also said in my previous post what could've possibly caused it, but since the character intentionally hides his emotions from the public, it would be difficult to see how things really affected him - which is why the way his spiral went is the majority of the evidence that would imply it, however it does make sense within the story as well with what i mentioned last time.
I would like to note that for sapnap at least had reason to leave dream. Some examples off the top of my head are dream leading an angry fundy to sapnap's pets on purpose, resulting in some deaths, dream assisting tommy in burning down sapnap's effiel tower where he got engaged to karl, and dream giving tommy either mars or the other fish at the battle of the lake. Idk about george tho other then the whole mexican lmanburg/el rapids thing and decrowning him
c!sapnap was actually at fault for most of this, and it wasn't really ever betrayal on c!dream's part.
c!dream is a mediator and he wants to stop everyone's conflict - c!fundy was angry because of c!sapnap's actions, and hence it made more sense for c!dream to centre him on c!sapnap's animals instead of running around killing everyone's pets (at that time, all c!dream knew was c!sapnap did something really bad and c!fundy wanted beckerson / mars from him, which were also his and c!george's fish).
c!sapnap was an instigator, and in multiple conflicts during the time as well as before he'd align himself against c!dream. he isn't "loyal" per se, he causes chaos and the reason c!dream helped c!tommy was because, c!sapnap, again, killed his pet. the first l'manberg war and then the 16th are signs of the fact that c!dream and c!sapnap were willing to fight together in actual war, but these small conflicts where c!sapnap continuously picked fights weren't about personal loyalty, nor did they seem to affect their relationship at all.
c!george was never really hurt by c!dream either. the dethronement was him very obviously being a guilt-trippy drama queen, but, well, that's just the character. he had stolen the l'mantree while he was supposed to be the diplomatic figure of the greater smp, which is why c!dream was justified in - very politely, may i mention - taking the duties off of him (seeing as he was also trying to keep him safe and c!techno had already assassinated him once).
Im pretty sure i remember cc!sam stating that his character never canonically physically tortured dream during his subathon but take this with a grain of salt as i am looking for the clip currently. So to the best of my knowledge dream did not have a physical contact trigger during tommy's visit which! I rewatched the vod and dream actually was first to hit tommy and i can give you my full writing downs but 10/12 of the phy-
you never finished this point because you had to go do something, but i'll reply to what is here at the moment (i suggest writing these down before sending next time, or even writing them out wholly before sending a single one could help avoid stuff like this).
i am 95% sure that the reason cc!sam stated this was because people were suspicious he had already been doing what c!quackity was doing after - torture within the storyline itself is associated pretty much only with what c!quackity is doing, so that's what he meant, just to clear up confusion - the starvation or terrible conditions haven't been retconned, but it was direct torture (like c!quackity is doing) people were asking him about.
i never said c!dream had a physical contact trigger at all, i don't think he had that, though he probably will after the torture.
huh, ok, i'm gonna have to rewatch then, but i remember c!tommy punching c!dream a lot and him just telling him to stop and only punching back to get him to stop. trigger or not, getting hit isn't very pleasant, if you know what i mean.
You mentioned tommy stealing dream's armor unprovoked. Do you have the vod or a general idea of the time so i can find it? Like before lmanburg after another event so and so because if you do not have it i can find it but any help is appreciated.
i am pretty sure you can find the video on cc!tommy's channel! there are also recaps of the disc war on youtube :]
I wanna talk a little on why the Final Control Room was so messed up. For starters, with the way the room was designed. It was small, and had labeled, empty chests with each person's name on them as a mockery. The next reason is that its bascially a kill box.
It's fairly inescapble with the stairs being ones you have to jump up, slowing anyone who climbs them down. The final reason it is messed up is that it is shown to have caused every person who died in it trauma. With tommy there are several examples, the time he saw it with techno, the way he refuses to go near it, the exposure trauma, etc. Fundy also appears to have trauma, as when the Red Banquet executions began, it can be seen as him being afraid of dying last again.
It can Be thought as tubbo having trauma because he buries most of his issues and pretends to be ok. Moreover this event took at least one of each person's canon lives, making it the most canon lives lost EVER in a dream smp event. (This is not hate on any of the ccs btw i loved this scene and its one of my personal favorites). Plus the fact Eret's betrayal just literally happened, giving at least Tommy and Wilbur canonic trust issues.
i wouldn't call the chests mockery? it was a trap. people had traps on the smp before. it was a trap in the middle of war, supposed to end said war by killing them all at once rather than individually which would be a lot more bloody and difficult.
i agree c!tommy and other people might have post-war trauma, especially if they were young during the time, but i think that's because the final control room was "messed up", moreso because the war itself was. it all happened fairly instantly as well? i don't think c!fundy would be able to realize he was the last one standing within the two second before he wasn't.
it "can be thought" and it can be interpreted like that but besides c!tommy there isn't much evidence for them "all" being traumatized by the final control room. of course betrayal would spark trust issues, i understand that.
The probation was humiliating in my opinion because dream was Sending tommy anatgonizing messages through out the whole meeting, plus he had to write a review of his day every single day, which fundy mocked him for.
i mean, it was definitely a strike to his pride, but he was being extremely uncooperative so i don't really blame the other members of new l'manberg trying to teach him to listen for once? of course i know c!dream was riling him up, and that should definitely be considered. i don't think it would be as humiliating if c!tommy didn't make it, is what i'm saying.
for the tommy being toxic to fundy? At least for the examples you gave, to me personally they come acoross as either in a meta way being the cc's bantering or in canon being the characters having banter. If you can send the post with the clips so i can read the tone better that would be cool but if not i will try and find em.
no, these were all in canon. canon isn't only when c!tommy is being nice, it's also when he's being a jerk. /lh
the first one was him threatening c!fundy about kicking him out of l'manberg and undermining his self-worth, and the second one was him trying to get c!sapnap to vote for them via bullying c!fundy.
i found these from a transcript focusing on c!fundy's character, so i don't know exactly where the first one is from, but the second one i am pretty sure is from when the elections were starting with the whole cabinet battle deal and all of that.
there are other instances, and all of them are canon. his personality was never being nice or compassionate, so i'm not really surprised? he still cares about the people he cares about and is very brave, y'know. but this part of his personality is definitely a valid reason for people to dislike him.
I hope the exam went well :). Hope u have a great day! (Ps i think theres something called a submission box to send in pictures? Am not entirely sure sry)
it would've gone well but my work-speed is a tad too slow for the schooling system (considering i'm three years younger than my classmates,,, probably that's also a factor) so probably not despite the fact i knew everything and would've aced it if i only had more time. i did as well as i could so i'm not worried about it, but thanks!
i think you're thinking submissions. sadly, i tested it and it doesn't work on anons, so idk how you'd solve that, maybe make a burner account?
Curious anon here one point you may wanna include in the redemption essay is that c!tubbo or c!tommy do not necessarily have to forgive him. What's important is that he recognizes what he did was wrong (exile, beating tommy to death, manipulating them both, etc) and does his best to make amends. Hope this helps! Can't wait to see your essay
it's out, idk if you've seen it yet, and i think i included enough of that so hope it's all good! :)
the mcc update video is out if you are an mcc enjoyer. It's very neat, if you wanna check it out
yeah! i am a fellow mcc enjoyer, saw it already, thanks for telling me though, i'm really hype for today.
Allo curious anon here sorry if the lots of asks bother you. I was just curious if i could share an interesting post i saw today about c!dream :0 (not necessarily negative i think? More of a statement of an often-confused canon)
sure thing! i don't know what you mean by often-confused since, the entire fanbase is very confused always, and often selection bias plays into the perception from both sides, but sure :]
you also sent in a thing for the other anon who said they didn't know what c!dream did that bad; pretty sure they couldn't really be alerted since, not sure if they watch my blog that closely, but i'll summarize your points just in case and add some notes;
the repeated blowing up of l'manberg (in my mind that's largely a positive since i,, despise that country, but fair enough), revealed c!ranboo as a traitor (they seem to be friends so i also,, think that might've been planned between him and enderboo), sent ghostbur away (i don't think c!dream knew it was dangerous for him and wanted to actually hurt him, but idk), participated in fighting against c!sapnap when he killed people's pets (that's only negative against c!sapnap and didn't seem to hurt him much at all), and then the whole vault scene where he was allegedly planning to steal people's things (though saying he would & being stopped beforehand and doing it are two different things, frankly).
so i still agree with the other anon that a lot of the hurt he did "to the entire server" (he only negatively interacted with like,, a half of them) is exaggerated both by the characters and the fandom, but i guess that's a consequence of most people seeing him as a threat to everyone's happiness rather than a complex personality.
Also he was aware of the butcher army going to kill techno but only got involved because he saw an opportunity to get a favor. (As he knew in advance due to him telling techno to get a totem, watching from afar instead of interveing or manipulating tubbo out of it)
i don't understand this at all, i'm sorry. how do you know he only helped techno in order to get a favor? last i remember he was only doing it to protect and strengthen his alliance, and techno came up with the whole favor thing entirely on his own. you might've not watched techno's perspective or their prior interactions, idk, but this really is a misinterpretation in my eyes. /nm
sorry if that is overly dream negative i just wanted to let yall know cus you seemed unaware -curious anon
nah dw, i watch the smp and i watched all of these things happen so, wouldn't say unaware, but thanks.
#long post#my asks#curious anon#tw torture#tw animal death#c!dream negativity in asks#nothing aggressive though#so safe to read
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The Tablet of Vesuvius Caper
Despite the holiday season being over, and the crowds of eager tourists that entailed having gone home, security was no less tight that night at the Piazza del Campidoglio. Especially at the Piazza’s flagship building, the Capitoline Museums.
“Which, despite it’s name-“Player’s voice remarked quietly into her ear. “-Is actually only a single museum containing multiple different groups of archeological finds, relics, and artwork. Pretty neat, huh?”
Carmen couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the corners of her lips as she swiftly crossed the distance between two adjacent buildings. Safely in the shadows, she replied, “Extremely.” Her voice silent on the warm wind that blew in from the Mediterranean. “But did you know that the Capitoline Museums are also widely regarded as being one of the first museums in the world after it was opened up to the public by the Pope in 1734?”
“Not bad, Carm. You’ve definitely done your research. Now it’s time to hope the research I did was all correct too. I’ve got the passcode generator fired up, so just get to the Museums’ emergency backdoor and I can make a key to get us in.”
Having gone over the layout of the Piazza and the various buildings that called it home again and again in preparation for this caper, Carmen knew that the door Player spoke of was just a short distance ahead of her. Although it was officially an emergency exit only to be used in case of a fire or similar disaster, it’s purpose tonight would be as their perfect entryway into the Museums unseen.
Or at least, it was meant to be. As Carmen approached the door, she noticed that the passcode protected lock already shone a bright green. Meaning someone had unlocked the door and intentionally left it so, most likely to help speed up their get away.
“Player, we’ve got trouble.” She swung the door open and stepped inside.
“You’re telling me. Cameras are already down, and I’m not the one who turned them off. You’ll be going in blind, Red.” His voice wavered as he spoke. His worry for Carmen’s well-being evident from his warning.
“I’ll manage. You just focus on getting those cameras back online.” As she moved through the Museums back hallway, Carmen wracked her brain for who might have been able to infiltrate the building before her.
El topo and Neal were both out: Topo would have just dug his way in, and Neal would have likely opted for using the ventilation system rather than the backdoor. What about Mime Bomb? Or maybe Tigress? They had both used Dr. Bellum’s technology to gain an edge against her in the past.
“Whoever hacked into the Museum’s security definitely knew their stuff. I can barely find any trace of their online infiltration.” Player remarked. Carmen listened intently for a moment before opening another door that led further into the interior. Now she was passing by walls of centuries old artwork, heading towards the section possessing what both her and VILE were after.
“Are you saying you won’t be able to reactivate it to give us an advantage?” She peered around a corner before proceeding to the archeological relic gallery.
“Never said that Red.” Player’s smirk was practically audible, as a few keystrokes later he snapped his fingers. “Bingo! I’ve reactivated the cameras in the wing you’re headed. And…. oh no.”
Carmen stiffened as she heard the crackle of professional issued radios reverberate off the walls around her. As stealthily as possible, she slipped open the door leading to the archeology wing and closed it shut behind her. “I could hear security in the artwork gallery. Who do you see? Tigress? Le Chevre? The Mime?”
“None of them. It’s somebody I’ve never seen before.” A few moments of silence. “He has it! Carmen, he has the Tablet of Vesuvius!” That’s all Carmen needed to hear. With a sudden burst of speed that threw all caution of being caught to the wind, she rushed into the main viewing room just in time to watch as a man in a bright blue coat gently tuck the treasured tablet away in a rough-spun drawstring bag.
Having heard the sudden commotion, the man looked over his shoulder and shot her a curious half-smile. “Oh, you’re new.” He had neat sideburns stretching down to his bottom jaw, an impeccable black button up, and a contrasting red tie. He wasn’t much taller than Carmen herself but carried about him an air of relaxed confidence. Like he’d done this same thing a hundred times.
“I could say the same for you. Aren’t you a little old to be a new graduate of VILE’s? Or are they having to start calling in the benchwarmers just to keep up with me?” She took a few strides forward, urging the man to keep talking and keep his mind off trying to find a way past her.
“Lady, I’ve honestly got no idea what you’re on about.” He tucked the tablet bag close to his chest, as if he were carrying a small child, and took a few steps backwards from the recently pilfered display case. “What I meant was that you must be a new friend of Pops’. It really warms my heart to see him playing so well with others. A fellow detective trying to track me down, am I right?”
Now it was Carmen’s turn to stare incredulously at the man across from her. “Pops? Who on Earth are you talking about?” He was well within range of her grappling gun. If she could just get a clear shot at the bag, then the tablet would be safely in her hands.
The stranger looked her up and down. “Y’know now that you mention it, you do have significantly better fashion sense than most detectives and private eyes I’ve encountered.” His grip on the sack tightened. “Which can only mean that you’re a rival thief here to steal the same treasure as me.”
Carmen smirked and shrugged her shoulders. “Guilty as charged. Now put the relic back where you got it from before I have to take it from you.”
The male thief quirked an eyebrow. “A thief who steals precious treasures just to return them. What a waste! I, on the other hand, have a much better idea of what to use the tablet for.” Carmen only had a moment’s time to react as he raised his hand in the air. Reflecting off the moonlight streaming in through the windows, her eyes caught a small spherical object between his fingers just as he slammed it down to the floor.
In an instant, the area where the thief had been was rapidly being enveloped by a layer of thick white smoke. “Player!” Carmen called into her earpiece, rushing into the smoke to find any trace of her quarry.
“I’ve got eyes on him. He went out a door at the back of the room leading off the main showroom.” Despite the heavy smoke hampering her vision, her expertly trained eyes cut through it and homed in on the door the thief had absconded through. Without a moment to lose, Carmen rushed towards the door and nearly stampeded over the man on the other side.
Before she could make any kind of comment about having caught up with him so easily, Carmen saw why the man had stopped in his tracks so early on in their chase. Standing halfway through the narrow hallway was a figure dressed up in lime green and black punk rock attire.
“Paperstar.”
“Carmen Sandiego.” Her piercing gaze shifted to the blue coated man beside her. “And associate. I’ll say this once. Hand over the relic and I’ll let you both leave this place. Try to run away and…” She produced a sheet of brightly colored construction paper from a holster on her thigh and deftly folded it into a dangerously accurate looking replica of a shuriken.
The male thief scoffed, pushing his way past Carmen and closer towards the VILE operative. “Or what? You’ll pelt us with your papier-mâché?”
Paperstar frowned. “I’ll do much more than that to you, monkey face.” She reared her hand back and threw the paper shuriken with all her weight behind it.
“Monkey face?! Why do people keep saying-“
“Move!” Carmen tackled him to the ground just as the folded weapon sliced through the space they had previously been occupying. It lodged itself deep into the mahogany door behind them, earning a nervous squeak from the blue sporting thief.
“Crap! Nice save, Red.” He wiggled his way out from underneath Carmen and reached deep within the folds of his blue jacket to produce a small pistol. Just barely had the sound of crinkling paper reached his ears did he notice that Paperstar had now resupplied herself with half a dozen paper shurikens.
“Stop it! Both of you!” While the male thief was still down on one knee, Carmen had already thrown herself back up onto her feet and was yelling in a hushed tone. “If you two go to shooting and throwing things at each other, the guards will be on us in seconds. Then nobody gets the tablet.”
The other two thieves seemed to consider this for a moment. “That tablet belongs to VILE, Carmen. Make this easy on yourself for once and have your henchman give it up.”
“Henchman? I’m nobody’s hired goon, little Miss ‘Papercut’.”
Before further aggravations and taunts could be hurled, Carmen spoke; “The tablet *belongs* in a museum. Not to you, not to VILE, and especially not to this guy.” She glowered down at the thief, eyes shifting to the tablet hidden away inside the drawstring bag in his other hand. “What does VILE even want with such a random piece of Roman history?”
Paperstar shifted uncomfortably on her feet. Perhaps unused to going so long without folding something with her idle hands. “Professor Gunnar simply tells me what to steal and where. I make a point of not asking too many questions, unlike a certain little Black Sheep.”
Now it was the blue coated thief’s turn to interject on Carmen’s behalf. “Maybe I could be of some help in shedding light as to why any of us are interested in this little beauty.” He stood up, pocketed his weapon, and dusted off his jacket’s shoulder pad.
“The Vesuvius Tablet, one of the most famous relics recovered from the site of the ancient Roman city of Pompeii. Famous, in fact, for the depiction of Mount Vesuvius on it’s front and the seemingly indecipherable text on the back. It’s neither Roman nor Greek, not even early Persian or Aramaic.”
“So, it’s in a language nobody’s ever discovered.” Carmen had read up on the history of the tablet. From it’s recovery in 1750, to it’s public release to the Capitoline Museums’ archeological gallery just last year. Despite those countless hours of research, she still couldn’t understand why VILE sought to pillage the item.
“I never said that, Ms. Sandiego.” He smirked, a knowing thing that did little to make her thing the tablet was any better off with the male thief than VILE. “According to some confidential reports from the first excavation team sent by the king of Naples, the Tablet of Vesuvius initially read something like a map. However, the further the tablet was taken away from it’s resting place in Pompeii, the more illegible the words on it became.”
Paperstar chimed in, a giggle playing on her lips. “You don’t seem to know when to shut your mouth, do you, old man? I can help with that.” She shifted a foot backwards, preparing herself for the coming encounter.
“So I’ve been told. I’ll try to keep this short and sweet then.” He lightly jabbed at Carmen with his elbow. “How about you go high and I go low, Red?” He whispered.
“What? But just a minute ago you were the one throwing smoke bombs and running away from me.”
“Yeah, well, seeing as you’re not the one trying to merc me at the moment, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to suggest a team-up. After all, I get the sense you and this girl really don’t care for each other.” The stranger did have a point. After all, the absolute worst Carmen would do is leave him tied up for the proper authorities to find. Paperstar on the other hand….
“You’ve got me there. Let’s move!” Shurikens as deadly as steel sliced through the air as the pair of thieves pressed an advance towards their neon green assailant. With a high jump, Carmen pushed herself off the side of the wall and aimed a kick towards Paperstar’s head.
She dodged but stayed distracted long enough for the blue coated thief to get in close and swipe her legs out from underneath her. “No!” The paper wielder fell flat on her back, with Carmen’s boot soon digging into her gut.
“Too slow, Papercut. Better luck next time?” She quipped. Before Paperstar could spit out the vitriol that was surely brewing between her lips, the communicator on her arm flashed bright green.
“Paperstar,” The voice of Professor Gunnar emanated from it. “Local authorities are en-route to the Museums. It appears a detachment of Interpol is already present on the grounds. This is an Alpha zero-one situation. Vacate the region and return to the isle immediately.”
“Interpol.” The male thief murmured. “Just what I needed.”
“Devineaux.”
“Zenigata.”
The two looked up at each other. “Wait, you have someone from Interpol chasing you?” Carmen probed.
“For the better part of my entire career, yeah. You?”
“Something like that. He’s more of a minor annoyance, but-“
Paperstar’s eye roll was nearly audible. “Wow, great, you two are such besties. Now let me up so I can-“
“Ah, ah, ah. What’s the magic word?” The thief dug into his pocket and retrieved a bundle of cylinders consisting of interlacing bamboo strips. He swiftly set out about attaching them to Paperstar’s fingers, much to her protest. “There, I’d like to see you try and fold paper with your fingers all stuck together.”
“What - CHINESE FINGER TRAPS?!” She raged, only succeeding in making them tighter the more she pulled. “LITERALLY WHY DO YOU HAVE THESE?”
“Oldest trick in the book, kid. Well, the book I just made up in my head, but you get the idea.” He pointed down the hallway. “There’s a stairwell that leads to the roof down this way, Red. Let’s motor and leave our little paper tiger for the cops.”
“Let’s.” Carmen agreed with a smile. They made their down the hallway just as Paperstar finally moved herself into a sitting position against the wall.
“I will find you, Black Sheep! VILE will find you! And when we do, there won’t be anything left for-“
“Jeez, maybe I should have brought one for her mouth too.” The thief opened the door. “Ladies first.”
“You think?” As she slipped by, Carmen carefully slipped the weighty bag from the blue thief’s hand. As he turned around to jeer one last time, he didn’t even seem to notice.
“Toodles, Papercut. See you around!” With the two of them safely within the stairwell, he slammed the door shut. Only then, when Carmen was halfway up the stairs, did he notice he was missing something. “Hey! No fair, I thought we had something going there for a minute!”
“Sorry, but I don’t exactly play well with other thieves.” With the door to the roof now in reach, she slowed and called back behind her. “Speaking of, they don’t usually go this long without at least telling me their name. What’s you?”
The blue jacket wearing thief appeared at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at her, something like anticipation gleaming in his eyes. “My name, Ms. Sandiego? My name is Lupin the Third, grandson of the original gentleman thief, Arsene Lupin. And when I set my eyes on a treasure, I never fail in stealing it.”
“Sorry to disappoint, Lupin, but I think you’ll just have to let this one go.” Carmen placed a hand on the doorknob.
“Real quick, Red. Why do you think these people, the ones you call VILE, are after that tablet? And what’s stopping them from stealing it again later after you’ve left?” He took a few steps up the stairs. “Like I said before, that tablet isn’t just a pretty picture of Mount Vesuvius, it’s intended use is as a map leading to something. Only way to ensure VILE won’t want to steal it again is to steal whatever it leads to, right?”
Carmen wavered. If the tablet really was a map and it lead to some kind of…treasure, then VILE would stop at nothing to get their claws on it. “Okay, Lupin. So what exactly are you suggesting I do with it?”
“Well, seeing as I’m the only one privy as to how the map needs to be decoded, I’d say you can hold onto it for me. Don’t think of it so much as stealing, more like borrowing.” He chuckled. “How about another team-up? You hold onto the tablet, I can show you how to decode the map, and we take whatever VILE would have any interest in stealing. Sound like a plan?”
Player’s voice buzzed in her ear. “Carmen, Interpol forces and local police are surrounding the Museums. Zack and Ivy have the car running, but it might not matter if you hang around too long. How do you wanna play this?”
She debated for only a moment. The man was letting her keep the tablet, so in any case she’d still be coming out on top. He may have been a thief, but he at least seemed earnest about wanting to work together to outset VILE from getting their hands on the relic.
“Okay, fine. My people will talk to your’s and we’ll get a meeting place set up. There, we can decode the map and find whatever it leads to.”
“Music to my ears, Red.” He joined her nearly at the door. “Now, how‘s about we make our escape?” Making sure that the tablet was secure in her hands, Carmen opened the door into the warm Mediterranean night.
Bright spotlights illuminated the entirety of the Museums’ rooftop. From squarely in the center, a man in a dull burgundy trench-coat faced the opening door.
“LUPIN!” He yelled. “I knew you’d be here. You’ve got a lot of nerve coming back to Italy after last year.”
“Pops! So good to see you again after my, shall we say, extended hiatus?”
Carmen quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Long story, I met Leonardo Da Vinci. I’ll tell you next time. You get out of here, I’ll keep the Old Man and Interpol busy.” He winked. “I’ll see when I see you.” And with that, Lupin strutted out to meet Inspector Zenigata as Carmen excused herself to the shadows.
True to his word, the Italian police force seemed much more preoccupied with keeping their sights on Lupin than Carmen herself and she was able to beat a hasty getaway to Zach and Ivy’s waiting vehicle.
“Carm,” Player started once they were safely on the road. “Do you really think that Lupin guy’s legit? How do know anything he’s saying about a treasure map on the Tablet of Vesuvius is true?”
“I’m not sure. He seems earnest enough, but…” Carmen stared at the ancient relic in her hands, turning it over. “Maybe he’s on to something. See if you can turn up anything about those excavation reports he mentioned, the ones from the 18th century.” She checked her watch. “In the morning. You’ve got school tomorrow, right? I can’t have my white hat getting detention any time soon.”
Player grumbled. “Pfft, hackers don’t have bedtimes. While I’m at it, I’ll see what I can find out about this Lupin III guy. He sure seemed to know his stuff.” He shifted on the other end of the call. “Goodnight, Carmen. You did good tonight.”
“You too, Player. Sleep well.” Carmen ended the communication and leaned forward between the two front seats. “Guys, take us back to the hotel. I think it’s time we all got some shut-eye.”
“You got it, Carm. Ivy, get my ‘Post-caper tunes to rock out to’ playlist started. I’m going to merge.”
~~~~
“So, Lupin, you really think she’s the real deal?” Jigen hung a hand outside of the Fiat 500’s passenger window, gently shaking off the ash from the still burning end. He returned it to his lips and took a long drag. “She better be, seeing as you gave up the relic just to earn her trust.”
Beside him, Lupin thoughtfully scrolled through a number of news articles on his cellphone. “‘La femme rouge’, the red woman. She breaks, she enters, and apparently, she steals before others can. She’s done some impressive work.” He laid down his phone, reaching into the backseat to procure a book recently pilfered from a private collection. “I believe this could be the start of a beautiful friendship, or at least a mutually beneficial one.”
“And how about Pops? Was he happy to see you again?”
“As a clam. I gave him the old runaround, then borrowed a uniform from an extremely unfortunate Interpol agent at the scene and slipped away. Poor soul, was not a good day to wear the underwear with the hearts on them.” The two shared a chuckle. Jigen snuffed out his flame, just in time to help Lupin light one of his own.
“Now, what’s this about a treasure you were telling Red all about? You know I’m always down to get our hands on something shiny, but I’d at least like to know what kind of scheme you're cookin' up” Jigen pulled his lighter away from Lupin’s cigarette, giving him a few moments to take a couple starting puffs.
“Old pal, have I got a story for you.” He propped the book up on the steering wheel and turned a number of pages in. “And this one’s called ‘The legend of the Tomb of Hercules.’”
#Carmen Sandiego#Lupin III#my writing#Jigen Daisuke#Inspector Zenigata#Zack and Ivy#Infinity War is the most ambitious crossover-#Posts Carmen Sandiego meets Lupin III
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Important
Hey all. Just wanted to respond to questions from members of a couple of Discord servers run by the same person following a chaotic couple of days. I’m putting all the info and screenshots (minus names, pics and locations) here, so I can just direct people to this post if they have questions.
I had been intending to just head back here to Tumblr and let the situation lie, but unfortunately the reason given by the automated bot for my ban mentioned “crossing consent multiple times”. Today, friends have been sending me worried questions relating to this, so I’m concerned that the server owner may have made a similar claim in public. Now I pretty much have to say something as that’s such a serious thing to say about someone, particularly on any kind of kink scene.
The mention of consent actually relates to the server owner. Near the beginning of the lockdown, she and I were speaking a lot, she began to tease me in DMs, I responded with a piece of writing dedicated to her, we exchanged pictures - and eventually confessed a mutual attraction. We made plans for the end of lockdown, she talked about driving through Europe and showing me her favourite places. Although her English is perfect, I began learning her language through an app as I wanted to make the effort (Brits are renowned for being lazy with languages), and kept it up every day for months, amusing her with my clumsy pronunciation on calls. Sometimes she would send me explicit comments/thoughts, although I was always nervous to initiate that kind of thing.
One day she sent a message saying that she was still coming to terms with the end of her last relationship and would need to take things more slowly, as she was finding romantic sentiments (as opposed to kinky ones) hard to deal with. Naturally I replied “Of course, in that case I’ll wait for you to initiate that stuff once you’re ready”. At some point afterwards, she sent me a message out of the blue saying “I want cuddles ❤️” and I thought “oh, this is a level she’s OK with” and responded. I think it was the following day when I tried to pick up where we’d left off (without going any further, just cuddling in bed type stuff). She reciprocated and we continued. I also (in an attempt to consider her feelings) asked her if the idea of me posting an old session video on my blog for an American friend would upset her at all. Intending to reassure her about my intentions, I mentioned ”...not wanting to tickle anyone except you and saying no to all of the other UK people on the servers who are asking about post-lockdown sessions”. I also said “I do feel a commitment to you”, which (with hindsight) was probably a foolish or misleading word to use in a purely ler/lee sense.
A week later she sent a message I didn’t immediately understand along the lines of “I thought you were going to let me initiate romantic stuff, you don’t seem to have understood me at all”. I wasn’t sure what she was referring to - the recent story I’d written for her? Use of the word “commitment”? Something else? I tried to talk with her on the phone as some wires had clearly become crossed via text, but she refused for five weeks (citing not being in the right headspace), before finally calling when I sent a message explaining that anxiously waiting to mend the friendship in lockdown by myself for over a month was having a terrible effect on me mentally, and I was going to have to “throw in the towel”, wishing her luck and every happiness.
During our phone call, she claimed that the main issue had been the fluffy cuddle messages which she took to be a serious and repeated boundary/consent violation (citing her wish to avoid romantic talk). This was the last thing I expected and really shocked me. Of course I apologised frantically, repeatedly and profusely. I also said I hoped she could see how I’d made the mistake innocently and honestly when:
- she initiated it the first time, so I assumed it was something she was happy to talk about.
- when I picked up where we left off, she didn’t say “Actually, d’you mind if we don’t today?” and continued the cuddle talk instead.
She said that because she initiated it one day didn’t mean that she wanted to continue the day after - fair enough. The difficult thing to accept was the idea that she felt so violated by the attempt to carry on the next day that she found herself frozen to the point of not being able to say “actually I’m not in the mood just now” and carried on with it, and that I was at fault regardless. She even used the word “harassing” to describe it, which I found very harsh considering my inability to read minds over hundreds of miles. Especially when I couldn’t see or hear her to pick up on body language, tone of voice etc to guess that she was saying one thing but feeling a different way. She said, word for word, “It’s like when someone’s choking you and you can’t speak, you’re literally choking me!” As someone who, as a teenager, was once choked on the ground by my own father until I blacked out and lost bladder control, I did see that as a stretch at best, but chose not to challenge it as she was upset.
I also suggested that, looking back, we probably should’ve clarified exactly what was meant by “romantic stuff” when we almost certainly had different takes on it eg. I’ve cuddled after every 1:1 session I’ve ever had, even platonic ones, purely from the angle of aftercare and a sense of having shared an experience. I was told that despite our different ages and experiences of romantic love, there was only one objectively correct definition of “romantic” - hers.
We went around in circles for over four hours - I apologised over and over while explaining how I got the wrong idea and asking her to understand and forgive, while she tearfully called me a gaslighter, a consent violator, an excuse-maker, a harasser ... eventually I collapsed into tears myself (I’m ashamed to admit), totally worn down, and she softened a bit. She finally said she didn’t believe I’d done anything intentionally, and she still wanted to spend time together in the real world. We made up, spoke warmly as friends for an hour, and I left the call exhausted but relieved. After a few days’ reflection, though, I decided against ever travelling to meet her for real, as the experience had shaken me considerably - and I figured it’d be risky to meet someone in real life when I didn’t trust her completely not to accuse me over either nothing or an innocent misunderstanding. I was still wondering how to explain this to her when things got wild on the server.
A few days ago, a Tumblr user with a stated age of 18 contacted me to say nice things about my blog, which (I hope this doesn’t sound conceited) isn’t out of the ordinary. When she told me she was English and totally new to the scene, I suggested the Discord server as a place where she might make some friends (given the large UK membership) and sent her an invite link. The rest is set out in the mega screenshot saga below, which begins in the staff chat. I’m “SwiftX”, my real name is in teal, the server owner is in blue and her friend and co-moderator is in purple. All other names and locations are in black:
Before sending the last message, I actually typed out five different versions of a counter-argument before eventually deciding to step back. Being totally dismissed and lectured by two people about British labour laws and pub ID measures by two non-Brits nearly a decade my junior was irritating, yes, but the baseless suggestion that maybe I’d done something in private with the new member and was somehow “arguing against” ensuring she wasn’t a child because of that horrified me. As if I’d allow a child access to explicit content to cover my own discomfort - and anyway, I’d done no more than exchange greetings with the girl and point her towards the server, where she was actually verified and granted access to all channels by the guy in purple, not me! After a couple of hours’ contemplation, I politely asked to be removed from the moderator staff, but a disdainful response to my request prompted me to explain it, and why I was upset. Not all of what I said was necessary to say, but all of it was true:
She immediately muted me for 48 hours - “staff disrespect and degrading comments”. Not a problem, I had work to be getting on with. Late that evening, however, her friend arrived in my DMs:
Him: ...it’s creepy that a 32 year old man is potentially teasing a minor
Me: Well I can prove I haven’t teased her, her profile says she’s 18, and the person who exposed her to explicit content was you when you verified her - despite admitting to having had doubts about her age.
Him: ...I’ll drop that subject
Moderator of the year, ladies and gentlemen 🙄 Anyhoo, later that day I received a ban notification from both servers run by this owner, citing “crossing consent multiple times, guilting and being degrading along with causing several conflicts”. I was surprised to feel a flood of relief, but the consent mention really disturbed and worried me, as I’d been under the impression that the server owner had fully accepted that the earlier stuff had been an innocent misunderstanding. Later that day, good friends of mine began sending me worried DMs questioning my record and asking if I’d been inappropriate with a bunch of people, so I’m concerned that the staff may have said something that (deliberately or not) has encouraged speculation. This post is intended to be a landing page to which I can direct anyone concerned about my character so that they they can form their own opinions.
When my follower count began to take off, I became determined to avoid any kind of rift with another prominent member of the community. It’s so frustrating to watch an already niche subculture splinter into factions over needless disputes. This is why I’ve kept names etc. out of this post. If anyone suspects they might know who the server owner is, or actually knows who she is because they’re here from Discord, I would implore them not to out or target her in any way. There are two reasons:
- I don’t want to start a flaming war, I’m desperate to move on and begin improving my mental health after an awful couple of months ... I just need to protect my reputation first.
- I don’t actually think she wanted drama ... I think her genuine perception is that I’ve said something horrible to her. That’s more upsetting than the idea of her trying to smear me, to be honest. I suspect she feels like crap too, and I don’t want to add to her mental load. I honestly hope she’s OK.
Hopefully this will reassure my friends and anyone else questioning my character because of whatever’s been said in that server. I’d also hope that my history of positive interaction here, including being on great terms with everyone I’ve ever had a session with, supports what I’m saying further. It’s a shame this had to happen, but I’m trying to think positively about what lies ahead and trust in my real friends. I’d also like to thank the other members of the server staff who’ve privately sent me messages of support and sympathy having already seen the entire exchange.
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ZEP ANALYSIS 2
MUSIC AS A NARRATIVE
WHAT THE HEART SONGS HAVE REVEALED/TOLD US:
We start the show with Zoey’s MRI & the song that plays as it all begins is REM’s: "It's the End of the World as We Know It" from the Awesome MRI Remix. The lyrics are: “That's great, it starts with an earthquake..."...and this is where we learn that the lyrics of the songs playing are part of the storyline...they tell us what is happening or going to happen... cause as the song plays...there’s an earthquake
Max has never really, truly, been in love before = "I've never felt this way" 1x01 "I think I love you"
Max did not plan to tell Zoey about his feelings for her (and he didn't...til the flash mob) "I just decided to myself I'd hide it to myself and never talk about it and did not go and shout it when you walked into the room" - 1x01 "I think I love you"
Max likes/appreciates all the little things that no one else really sees or knows about her = "I'm a sucker for all the subliminal things no one knows about you " = 1x02 "Sucker"
Max & Zoey know basically everything about each other, because they've been best friends for 5 years & they've talked about...everything = "'Cause I know you and you know everything about me" = 1x02 "Sucker"
Max finds Zoey physically attractive/hot = "I'm feeling heat in December when you're 'round me" = 1x02 "Sucker"
Zoey finds Max physically attractive/hot & she's falling/fallen in love with him - "I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted I fell right through the cracks" = 1x08 "I'm Yours"
Zoey loves Max... as a friend, but also romantically. She has love for him in her heart. And knows he has love in his heart for her. = "Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love" = 1x08 "I'm Yours"
Simon has considered taking the same route his dad did 6+months ago. The man is not just grieving, he's depressed. = "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" = 1x01/1x10 "Mad World"
Zoey acknoweldges that she's witnessed Simon's "sadness" - she's seen him crying & being sad & alone & realizes he needs help (from her) = "Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'. Feelin' all alone without a friend you know you feel like dyin’ " = 1x08 "IWYTWM"
BACK TO THE BEGINNING...
Remember how it all started? With Zoey's MRI in Pilot...going all wrong...because of an eathquake. She went to check on her health because she had concerns..because of her fathers condition. We saw her "take the test". But... we never heard how it ended. Did the earthquake interfere with the results & she'd have to get another MRI to find out the results? Did she get the results, but never mentioned them?
After the MRI we see her talking to her mom, but it's never mentioned how the test went. The results...or lack of them...is never mentioned... until episode 11. Instead...after the experience she's "going crazy" - hearing everyone sing their inner feelings. But not once does she mention the MRI in any other context than it being the result she got her superpower. And we've only heard her mention it to her family, Mo & Max, no one else even knows she got an MRI.
A lot of things in the series are hinting at Zoey having the same disease as her dad has. And the singing might be her first, early, strange "symptom". Because she has the same condition is probably why she hears people singing, too. Even the ASL storyline supports it. Not to mention some other scenes & lines from songs in the show. Like her mom/family singing "We’ve Gotta Get Out of This Place" in 1x11. And since we know that the lyrics of the heart songs tell the truth and are part of the narrative/story, then they have a real meaning.
A stranger at the caskett room sings during Maggie's song: "Now my girl you're so young and pretty, and one thing I know is true: You'll be dead before your time is due, I know" & later Maggie sings the same lines, and then the camera moves to Zoey...witnessing the song, and it doesn' really feel like it's cause we see it all from her POV..but cause the line is a "clue" for her...
CHIRP vs ZOEY-ALITY PARALLELS
Invading privacy. How come no-one has mentioned this? Especially Max. We've seen him be concerned about "mind reading", and then they're all working on "mind reading code"
I do think that all this was done intentionally & they chose to use a piece of technology that is similar to Zoeys ability...to make a point..in the future. And I've found it quite interesting that no-one has...yet (by the end of episode 11) questioned how ethical the tech is, or how it could invade peoples privacy.
If they'd had a character mention it, I would've expected it to be Max. I mean... in episode 1x01 when Zoey asks him what he thinks about te ability to read other peoples minds, he says that he'd get his feelings hurt a lot..more. And he has voiced concern about Zoey being able to "read his mind"...several times. His main concern has been that she can read his mind/see into his heart (via heart songs...while he can't see into hers...). And he was also very uncomfortable when he found out that everyone could "read him" (that everyone knew he has had a crush on Zoey...forever). He's the one character whose expressed most concern about people knowing his secret feelings & thoughts. Hence I have been surprised he hasn't commented on CHIRP yet (until ep 11).
Though anyone on the team might bring it up..at one point. And another good possibility is Simon. Because since he's still in the dark about her superpower, that would be one way to take it back to the beginning. Cause as we remember from the PIlot, he was "impressed" by Zoey's ability to "read his mind"..only he thought that that must mean they have a "natural" connection, so when he finds out she had help (from her superpower...which is basically like getting help from a CHIRP technology), he's gonna have a whole new look on their connection and everything. And he's most likely gonna be "betrayed" and "disappointed", because he’ll realize that their connection wasn't actually real, and she "cheated in the game".
And CHIRP is most definitely a "plot device". The parallels to/with Zoey's abilities are just...too obvious.
ZOEY & MAX: CHARACTER STORIES
My question before the Finale: Will we learn something about Max and/or Zoey...in the last episode that changes things? That changes how we see...certain things & our perception of them? That changes the meaning of some things from past episodes? A kind of a surprise "reveal" (twist)? Will the show go there? I would not put it past them... honestly.
There are bits & pieces of lines/dialogue (certain scenes) both in past episodes & in the Finale promo that kinda hint at a possible twist like that.
ETA: Nope, none of that was in the s1 finale, really. There were enough plot threads that needed to be tied up... so not much room for new big ones...yet.
PARALLELS
Zoey & Max as new Team Managers #twoofakind
In 1x02 when Zoey gives her first introductory speech as the new Team Manager on the 4th Floor, she prepares flash cards for the speech..with the first one being her name (Hi, Im Zoey). In 1x10 when Max becomes the new Team Manager on the 6th Floor, he prepares flash cards for his speech..with the first one being his name (Hi, I'm Max).
In 1x02 Zoey makes an awkard joke at the beginning of her speech "Please don’t say anything stupid" (one of her notes to herself). In 1x10 Max makes awkard joke at the beginning of his speech (Please hold your applause til the end" (one of his notes to himself)
In 1x02 Zoey tells Joan that she prepared for the new job by reading multiple books & listening to several popular podcasts on how to be an effective leader. In 1x10 Max tells his new team that he prepared for the new job by reading about a 7-step leadership program..online....
...TO NAME A FEW...
TEAM MAX
Translating Max's behaviour:
If we pay attention to what Max says, then they have informed us via his lines what it is that he's not okay with. And it's not what some seem to think - that Zoey dosn't love him back/return his feelings & won't want to start dating now. It's not that he chose to take the 6th Floor job as a "punishment" cause she didn't plead him to stay and tell him he loves him. It's not that he was mad at her & in his anger sang "Bye Bye Bye". It's not that he was unnecessarily cold & rude towards her...after 1x08..when he moved to 6th Floor... only because what some fans think ...that he's an example of "good guy trope"
What Max has an issue with is Zoey changing & changing their friendship. It's that she's dishonest with him, her best friend. It's that he doesn't like that she can read his mind...both because he prefers to keep his private thoughts & feelings private, and because he doesn't want to "push" her with a sudden heart song...which he now knows he could do unintentionally. Before she got her power, he could just keep his feelings towards her a secret & not push her, but now he has to watch himself...and avoid feeling feels around her. Because he knows she can hear his deep feelings.
He's not comfortable with her knowing how he feels about her (1x07/1x08). He's not comcortable with everyone knowing how he feels about her (1x11).
After 1x08 he knows the details of her secret power. And...interestingly... he does not sing any love songs to her anymore...for a while. The tone of the songs changes. We only ever hear him since twice after he learns her secret. First a "duet" of the song "Here I go again" in 1x10 as he moves to the 6th floor, and second is "Bye Bye Bye" in 1x11. He doesn't really mind her hearing the song in 1x10...as it's just what decribing what he's doing. And then there's the karaoke bar, where his inner song & outer song don't really match. He might sing "Bye Bye Bye" as a response to Zoey asking her to stop Leif singing that sad song, but you can see that he's not really feeling it.
This is supported by his comment to Leif that he's not (sure he's) over Zoey. And by his "mood" and the way he "secretly" glances over at leaving Zoey. Which means that in her presence he's trying to disguise his real feelings.... so that she would not be able to read his real thoughts. He migth sing a song to her that makes her think he's mad at her & moved on, but we, the viewers, are let in on the truth, cause his real feelings shine through during the scene. Yes he's heartbroken and a bit "mad at her", but he really let's those feels shine on this moment..to "fool her". And this is confirmed at the end of the episode, when all it takes for him to stop pretending to be upset with her is for her to take the first step. And re-confirmed in the Finale, when we see that he can make himself think & feel...what he wants her to hear...
Yes, of course he was ALSO heartbroken & a bit disappointed, because he had hoped she would return his feeling...now, but that's what he hoped, not expected/demanded to be the only option. He even said it several times - he needed some sort of response, some sort of answer from her. And though a part of his decision to keep his distance was cause he felt hurt and heartbroken (she did brake his heart a bit...cause from his POV he chose the other man... cause it was not as she said - she can't choose cause she's got so much on her plate cause of her dad & her superpower...so it's understandable he was a bit sad) most of his post-superpower-reveal behaviour was fueled by her unclarity & her dishonesty. She'd promised him honesty & truth, and she revealed the truth...via her heart song, but then she tried to claim the truth is not the truth (not say that perhaps there are more possibilities than his interpretation of the song, but claiming it’s not at all what the song meant, when they both know what the song meant.) That's what upset him.
And that’s why he needed to put some distance between them. And again, they’ve explained his motivation & reasons via dialogue in other scenes. And... interestingly enough...what started as him trying to experience things outside their tiny two-person-bubble-world ended up becoming so much more. When he started the season with no desire to climb the career ladder or get out of the “best friend zone” then by the end of the season things had changed... and he actually liked the opportunity he got via his promotion, and he even learned he’s good at it (even Leif complimented his leadership skills). And the distance did both them good...as we all predicted... cause they really needed to grow individually & figure things out...separately... before there could ever be a possibility of them as a duo.
I've touched this in my past posts. And will again in future posts.
#ZEP#SPOILER#ZEP SPOILERS#ZOEY'S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST#ZOEYS EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST#Clarkeman#Zomax#Zax#Zoey Clarke#Max Richman#Max x Zoey#Zoey x Max#TEXT POST#LONG POST#ANALYSIS#ANALYZIS#TEAM MAX
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Karl Kesel/Tom Grummett Panel Recap!
by @donsparrow
Last month I had the enormous privilege of moderating a panel at 2017’s SaskExpo, a Comics and Pop Culture Convention in Canada. This panel was a spotlight on the work of two of the show’s biggest creator guests, Tom Grummett and Karl Kesel, who are no doubt familiar to regular readers of the blog. Here’s the questions I asked, and what I remember of the responses. Should a full transcript become available, I’ll definitely share it with you. Overall the panel went well. I’m sure we would have liked a larger crowd (we were scheduled opposite a panel featuring the great John Rhys-Davies!) but it was certainly a blast on my end.
1. What did you do before comics? Tell me about getting that first comic gig.
Tom made a very important distinction when answering this one, clarifying that he always made comics, they just weren’t published (or at least not by a major company) which was good to remember—even if no one is paying you, always be making comics. Both Karl and Tom worked in printing and design while working on their samples, and in Karl’s case in particular, it was his persistence (having moved to New York to be closer to comics publishers) that got him the gig at the start, more than his raw talent.
2. Influences. Since I’m here moderating a panel with two of my heroes, I was curious who your creative heroes were growing up—in comics and outside of comics.
The big name that came up with both Karl and Tom was unsurprising: Jack Kirby. Tom singled out Kirby’s DC work as his entry into comics, while Karl was entranced by the Fantastic Four.
3. The past few years have seen an explosion in superhero films and television shows, including the Doomsday storyline being touched on in Batman v Superman, or a live action Flash taking on King Shark in multiple episodes. What is it like seeing something you created on-screen?
With a laugh, both men had to admit they hadn’t seen King Shark on The Flash, as they are not regular viewers of the show, nor did they see Batman v Superman, but they did appreciate that these characters are reaching new audiences.
4. Karl, how was it joining the super-team full-time? Having inked John Byrne and done those great Newsboy Legion backups, was it like coming home, or were you nervous fitting into the rotating framework that had been up and running for so long?
Karl said that it was a bit of both—he had been a regular reader of the Superman books, and the chance to step in was an attractive challenge. He then praised the unique storytelling of that era, pointing out that each team had their strengths—Dan Jurgens excelled at action and big picture ideas, Roger Stern was great at character and at finding a satisfying ending to a story. Louise Simonson was all about heart and emotion, and so, through his strengths, and by default, Karl and Tom’s Adventures became the more light-hearted, sometimes comedic book. He also said that the transition was pretty seamless and painless, in part because it was such a well-oiled machine by that time.
5. As you may or may not already know, I co-write a weirdly obsessive blog covering your time on the Superman books, and my co-writer on that blog, Max, is from Chile. When I mentioned I’d be moderating this panel, he wanted me to ask you: by any chance, did ever read the old Spanish translations of the Silver Age Superboy comics? Because, in those comics Lana Lang's name was (for some reason) translated as "Lina Luna". "Luna" of course means "Moon", so Max had wondered if Tana Moon's name was a reference to that.
This was a fun one. Karl replied with a flat “no” that he hadn’t read any Spanish language translations of any comics, but when I explained the Tana Moon/Lana Lang connection, he thought that it was a very cool coincidence, and then, jokingly, answered that, yes, it had all been planned, intentionally.
6. How do you feel about the industry as a whole? Of course we hear the stories of sales declines, but we’re also in a time where comics can be a lot more democratic—properties like Section Zero can be brought back through the fans directly by crowdfunding. In that way, is this not a time of unique opportunity as a creator?
Both creators were very optimistic about the industry, stating that comic sales have always gone up and down, and that there have been scares about the longevity of the medium for as long as they’ve been reading comics. They also agreed that the ability to connect directly with audiences was an exciting element unique to today’s comics, and that Section Zero is viable with only a few thousand patrons, all passionate about the project, which is different than when it first came out. Karl detailed that, since the project was creator owned, it also meant that there was no money up-front—the initial issues had to be fronted by the creative teams. Karl explained that his financial situation changed when he went through a divorce, and so he could no longer afford a comic without a guaranteed paycheck. But now, through crowdfunding, Karl and Tom are able to pay their bills as they work on completing the project, eliminating the need to put their finances on hold as they had to the first time around.
7. Having worked alongside so many fellow greats in the industry, how did you decide on the lineup for the pinups and extra features in the revival of Section Zero? And for those here who haven’t heard about it, could you let us know how Mike Weiringo ended up as one of the artists?
The first part of this question, Karl candidly said that he was going with artists that had a large social media following, since online marketing was the main way the Section Zero project would be funded. He then got into detail about trying to honour Mike Weiringo’s memory, which was previously shared here.
8. Karl, your run writing Daredevil stands out for being a return to the original wittier, lighthearted version of the character. Does humour still have a place in comics today?
Karl comedically answered with another flat “yes”. Then pausing, before elaborating that the great thing about comics is the diversity of tone, and comics should always feel fun.
At this point I started to worry that I was asking too many questions, so we might not get to the audience, so I opened up to the floor for questions. I was surprised by the first one, which was
“What is Section Zero?” (which I had thought we had covered pretty extensively in the earlier part of the panel) at which point they explained the elevator pitch, which is “X-Files if it was written by Jack Kirby”. And, honestly, who wouldn’t want to try a comic with that pedigree?
The next question was a funny one, from a local purveyor of comics. In an earlier answer, Karl detailed that his divorce contributed to Section Zero stopping production. The questioner pointed out that the Gorilla Press line itself (of which Section Zero was a part) crumbled not long after that, before making the comment “that must have been some divorce”.
Over laughter, Karl explained, without assigning blame or much detail, that the Gorilla Press funding never came through in the way it was supposed to, and so similar problems arose for each of the other creative teams, of not being able to afford to front the production of the books on the hopes of later sales. That exhausted the audience questions, so back to mine:
9. Tom, have any of Karl’s scripts contained something so tricky to draw that you wanted to say “Karl, you’re an artist—you should know better!”
Tom was very complimentary in his answer, saying that Karl’s art background made him a great writer, and so he never took issue with anything he had to draw. Karl echoed this, saying that for whatever reason, he and Tom had always clicked creatively in a very natural way, and that Tom’s design sense made often surpassed what Karl envisioned for the page. They talked about specific characters from Section Zero, one of whom Karl credited Tom for having wholly created, who quickly became one of Karl’s favorites in the series.
10. Given the cyclical nature of comics, is it ever frustrating when changes in continuity “erase” a storyline or fact you worked on? Specifically I was thinking of the lineage of the Conner Kent Superboy, who was originally a clone of both Superman and Westfield, but was later retconned to be the clone of Superman and Luthor.
Karl was very diplomatic and generous in his answer, stating that Geoff Johns’ idea of having Lex Luthor be revealed as Kon-El’s donor/father was a stroke of genius, and added a lot to the mythology. I agreed, but also pointed out how hotly this topic was debated on this very blog, which surprised the panel. Karl said that for the most part, he didn’t create these characters, either, and so he understood that each writer or artist that follows will make changes to suit the times, and that those changes can be what makes comics exciting. He hinted at elements behind the scenes, leading me to believe that even Westfield wasn’t Karl’s first choice for Superboy’s lineage, but that at the time DC editorial was very protective of Superman as a character, and so Superboy couldn’t be a straight up clone, according to their edict.
Tom mentioned elements like the Matrix Supergirl, and echoed Karl’s answer, saying that changes to continuity doesn’t magically erase the comics in your long boxes, they’re still there, with characters waiting to be discovered, or perhaps even used by coming generations of readers or creators.
At this point Tom related a story Karl had told him, of Karl meeting a cosplayer at a convention who was dressed as the Kon-El Superboy. The cosplayer explained that they had found an old Superboy comic in a dollar bin, never having heard of this version of the character, and fell in love with the story, enough to both dress up as this character, and seek Karl out to thank him for his work.
(Then I pointed out that my own four year old son had picked Kon-El Superboy as his Halloween costume this year!)
Karl also touched on current comics, saying that he understood the appeal of the new Superboy being the son of Superman, and was at peace and enjoying that storyline, knowing that Kon-El would probably come back someday.
11. Any other projects you’d like to bring back, maybe via crowdfunding? I was pretty keen on The Power Company, myself.
Tom and Karl were very clear that for them, the perfect vehicle was, for the present, only Section Zero, and that they had enough stories cooked up to continue with further installments for years to come.
I ended the panel by thanking Tom and Karl for a lifetime of great comics, and for personally inspiring so much of my interest in the artform and the characters, which they laughed at, taking mock umbrage at the “lifetime” part, protesting that they are very much alive, and that there are many more years of comics to come.
After the panel, both creators were very kind and seemed to have enjoyed taking part. I was busy at my own table for the rest of the show, so I didn’t have much of a chance to hang with the guys and bother them with my weird, way too specific questions about Superman. But I want to thank Saskatoon Expo for allowing me to moderate, and of course, Tom and Karl for being such great subjects and creators. It was a real thrill.
Find out more about Kesel and Grummett’s new comic, Section Zero, here: https://www.panicbuttonpress.com/section-zero
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