#btw this isn't anti reylo per se but it definitely isn't reylo friendly either hjgfsdsd | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kazbrekkerrs-remade · 6 years

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tlj review no one asked for lol

tumblr is a hellsite so I had to rewrite a good chink of this yikes not spoiler-free so here’s a cut

So overall I liked the film? I found the Kylo/Rey shit a bit weird, not because I’m that petty (I can actually swallow my pride on occasion, contrary to popular belief), but because it was too sudden, rushed, and a tad OOC, for Rey at least. I also felt like there was this “there’s no good or bad, it’s all war” agenda they were pushing, which I would agree with in certain cases, such as a fight for land or power, but in my mostly humble opinion, any fighting that rises in retaliation to oppression is justified. I also hated how they cashed in on the Rey parentage theory, and then they were like “lol they were just drunkards”, which honestly sucks to me because they exaggerated it so much and it was so anti-climactic, and it also made no sense, it’s?? the Skywalker saga?? There were so many parallel’s between Rey and Luke?? Rey and Han connected pretty much instantly?? and seeing as how Rey is really really strong with the force, it just doesn’t make much sense to me that she’s not related to any prominent force-sensitive character that we already know. Overall I’d give it 4/5 out of ten because though I have issues with it, it was still a very enjoyable experience, especially towards the end.

So anyway now here’s me talking about individual things and also screaming (and a lot less formal that paragraph over there)

The movie opens with Poe making a fool out of Hux I’m knjhbvgcfc

“Finn naked leaking running” ghjngffffffh

I remember ages ago seeing a post around the lines of “Imagine if Rey gives Luke the lightsaber and he just tosses it off the cliff like ‘It’s time for the Jedi to end YEET’ and I can’t find it (if you can please send me a link) and that’s EXACTLY what went down I’d think that person leaked something if it wasn’t quite frankly a bit predictable, still funny tho

When Luke says “Reach out” and Rey sticks out her hand shjgfgg she’s so cute

YES so getting to the Rey/Kylo shit, the transition from hating him to sympathy and whatever else came into play just...wasn’t smooth. It was faarrr too sudden, and while Rey is a good person, she’s not Luke. In TFA she had a lot of anger underneath and for her to just be so *shruggie* with Kyle just did not make any sense to me.

Also what the fuck was the shirtless Kyle scene

Why were his pants so high jhgfcdgh

It gets infinitely weirder when you think about how Snoke apparently was controlling this? Yikes we gotta kinkshame Snoke now

Rose is so cute I hate how she was sidelined in the promotional material but she did play an important role and if they kill her I’m suing Lucasfilm

Rey really did That

The cinammon topography....I love all the red

The Luke wanting to kill Kyle thing was very OOC to me but also not? Like it wasn’t at all Luke as we know him but I guess no one is perfect damn (it’s still OOC)

That whole scene through the casino, the Fathiers (or whatever) and escaping was so beautiful

Y’all could bring back Yoda bu not Hayden Anakin...

That whole thing IMO would just be better with Anakin? Like first of all you expect me to believe old, traditional, head-up-his-ass Yoda supported burning down the books

Anakin talking to Luke about how the Jedi order was indeed fucked up and maybe seeing how he feels about Kylo...that would be the Good Shit

The big ass cruiser ship cutting through the First Order ship....amazing

Ok I’ll admit before the film I could Not stand Kyle at all but during it I was like “Ok maybe I can warm up to him” and then he’s like “Let go, we can rule the galaxy together” YEET never mind he’s still a liar and a bitch

I will admit however I liked Kylo killing Snoke

jhgfdg so Rey and Kylo against the the guards together thingy objectively looks good but also off because as a wise woman (Daisy Ridley) once said “She [Rey] is so strong and he [Kylo] is so weak”

huhhooolllyy shit that bit where Rey drops the lightsaber then catches it with her other hand...I lost my shit right there and then

Lowkey upset because I wanted a sick ass duel between Rey and Kylo (In which Rey, predictably, kicks his ass) that I could bust a nut to like I did in TFA but ahh well maybe ep IX, for now I have Finn/Phasma

HE BROKE HER HELMET!! I’M JHGFGH

((give Finn a lightsaber again you cowards))

SO back to the Rey/Kylo shit

KYLE: Let go, join me, and we can rule the galaxy together

ME: I’m so sorry Rey sweetie...someone should’ve told you...all men do is lie

Yikes only looking back do I realize how fucked up that was “You come from nothing and no one cares about except me so this is why you should rule with me” ugly

“The girl killed Snoke” You’re a bitch Kyle!! A bitch and a coward!!

Darth Vader I am so sorry;

Did I mention how amazing Finn kicking Phasma’s ass was

Poe is learning...he gon’ be a leader one day..Leia’s rightful Heir

I can’t believe I had to watch Luke die...at least he’s at peace..

THE HUG!!! THE FINNREY HUG!!

the kiss between Finnrose was super cute too!!! ((me personally I found it lowkey one-sided, like Rose was into him, he wasn’t into her, which is maybe how it was written?))

I really loved that Poe and Rey have officially met now jhgfdhfggh I’m so unbelievably happy about that

I don’t want a Poe/Rey romantic thing tho but I’ve always felt like they’ll get along great....the dream team...sister from another mister/brother from another mother IDK I always thought they could have a really great friendship

“I’m Rey” “I know” is it because Finn gushes about her

starving us on stormpilot isn’t gonna solve shit m’dudes, the public has it’s mind made up!!

That kid with the resistance symbol thing better be in IX otherwise it’s bad writing!!

((this uuuhhh whole film was bad writing but shshhhhh i enjoyed it ok it’s the r*verdale of star wars I guess if r*verdale was redeemable in any timeline jhjgfsd))

And some short end notes:

I don’t think I heard the Imperial March even once???? I could be wrong but ohh my god I’ll be so mad if it isn’t in there what do you think that you’re too good for the imperial march? that it’s not iconic or something?? That shit goes so hard “da da da dadada da da da dadada DA DA DA DA DADAAA DA DADAAA

hmmm does kyle deserve that tho lol

Not making Rey related by blood to Anakin was a huge mistake ((predictable but!! sometimes shit just has to go like that??))

I read somewhere that rian johnson didn’t want this film to follow the ‘star wars pattern’ whatever the fuck that is but...this was so damn similar to ESB kjnhbgfcg

And I think that’s it?

If you read this whole thing thank you

UPDATE: I THOUGHT OF MORE SHIT

being like “oh Rey’s parents were drunks” is such a lazy move....this is not get out of jail free card I don’t know who told you this

let luke and leia grieve for han you assholes

can IX redeem this shitshow stay tuned

#star wars #the last jedi #tlj #the last jedi spoilers #tlj spoilers #here's a review before i read other people's opinions and allow them to influence mine hgfdfgh #tl;dr: it's a 4/5 because it was an interesting and entertaining movie despite slightly sloppy/bad writing and a rehashed plot from esb #looking back there's a lot more wrong with it than i originally thought jhgfgvb this isn't a bad review tho there's a lot of positives in th #i loved it tho make no mistake #uhuhhhh i can't wait till i can download it and make edits jhgfc #p.s: please do me a favor and ignore typos and grammar errors jhgf i'm too lazy to proofread this monster of a review #believe me when i say i thought it would just be my general thoughts and a few bullet points #btw this isn't anti reylo per se but it definitely isn't reylo friendly either hjgfsdsd #thots.txt

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