#bruh when i was bawling my eyes out in front of my manager coz feelings snuck up on me at work
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i dont think i will ever feel at peace abt my relationship w my dad and that is a kind of grief i dont know how to begin to process. something something in the middle of a sunny street
#i miss my dad but i cant stand the man he is#and my guilt....oh god the insensible guilt... i tried so fucking hard my entire childhood to convince him to choose me over drugs/alc#and now that ive realized well. u were no fucking use to me and i have no use for u now#u werent my dad u were a terrifying stranger sleeping in my house#but all that hasnt changed the fact i want a dad. more specifically i want to save mine#and i always will and i will never be able to and that will probably be my life's greatest heartbreak#txt#bruh when i was bawling my eyes out in front of my manager coz feelings snuck up on me at work#and i shared w him a little abt my childhood n smth abt how i am so gutted abt my relationship w my dad#and among many things he said 'it eats you alive. i can see it.' congratulations u just created a core memory!
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