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goodbadlibrarian · 6 years

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The Year in Cryptocurrency: 2017

Most of us: wtf is cryptobits?

Coin Folks: is good

Most of us: yeah but wtf is it?

Coinfolks: dunno but still is good, you could try it

Science: is complicated but u could look it up (GBL’s note: DO THIS B4 U INVEST IN CRYPTO OR ANYTHING. DON’T BE STUPID.)

Jamie Dimon: it’s a scam it’s a bubble it’s tulips

Bitcoin (BTC): okay I just got bigger, thx Jamie D

Bitcoin: but now I’m worth a tiny bit less, sorry

Jamie Dimon: THE CRYPTOSKY IZ FALLING

Bitcoin: whoa I just grew three sizes, gotta buy new pants but I can afford ‘em now

Coinfolks: Thanks, Jimmie Diamond!

Ethereum (ETH): hey don’t forgot about me I’m like a whole shiny computer

Jamie Dimon: it will never be good it is always bad

Bitcoin: bump-a-rump-rump, I just grew another size!

Bitcoin: but then I lost a pound

Jamie Dimon: IT’S MADE FROM PEOPLE

Bitcoin: whoops, gonna need new pants again. Thanks, Jammie Dogmon!

Jamie Dimon: I will now shut up forever

Coinfolks: noooo Jomie Dugwit plz keep talking u makin us cryptorich!

Jamie Dimon: (crickets)

Ethereum: still here too

Ethereum Cybercash Cat Cafe: we can haz crypto kitty coins?

Pundits: ETH is so over is slowed down some

Ethereum: nah bruh I just got more embiggened. (Yo, BTC, where do u buy those bigger pants ‘coz I already need some?)

Coinbase: okay we gonna fork u some Bitcash when we go all SegWit real soon

Most of world: da fuq?

Coinfolk: yays!

Coinbase: okay maybe not sorry bout that

Bitcoin: no worries, I’ll just increase in value a lot

Coinfolks: boo hoo sorta, but not really ‘cuz we still gots a lotta BTC

Coinbase: never mind, here are a lot of free cryptomonies

Coinfolks: YAYS!

Mister Venezuela: can I make my own cryptocoinage and call it Pedro?

Coinfolks: that’s not how it works

Mr Venezueler: I’ma do it anyway, vote 4 Petro!

Petrocoin: I didn’t happen

Mr Venezoolander: oopsies

South Korea: hey we made a crypto market, errybody in the pool, u betcha!

North Korea: ALL YORE BASE R BELONG TO US LOL

S. Korea: never mind, we are sad now

Facebook: we are totally not entering the crypto market fer sure

Litecoin (LTC): we are FB moneys now probably

FB: okay but maybe

Litecoin: me so big now

Ethereum: I haz a birthday and for presents I will just be twice as large okay

Bitcoin: boo hoo I am only worth lots and lots more than I was a year ago

Bitcoin Cash (BCH): top o’ the world, ma!

All the cryptomonies: let’s take a ski vacation!

Pundits: IT’S OVER IT’S ALL OVER SEE WE TOLD U SO

All the cryptos: nah bruh we cool, just sprained an ankle

Pundits: but but but

Coinfolks: thx punditz we’ll just keep doing the opposite so we can bathe in champagne

Bitcoin: look no cavities!

Litecoin: I’m such a playa

Bitcoin Cash: oh these growing pains

Ethereum: holy schnitzel I am feeling bloated

(GBL’s note: The Good Bad Librarian does not offer investment advice, financial planning, or really anything that you should take at face value other than the occasional soup recipe. However, the GBL would like to point out that at this writing BTC has increased more than 1500% in value over the last year; LTC just under 6000%; ETH over 10,000% and no that is not a typo; and BCH has appreciated over 500% in the 4 months of its existence. But it’s just a bubble. Sure it is - just ask Jamie Expert Dimon. Right Jamie? Jamie? Oh, right, he shut his piehole about crypto because HE WAS WRONG WRONG neener neener neener. Happy New Year, and may the coins be with you.)

#bitcoin #cryptocurrency #ethereum #litecoin #jamie dimon is a tool

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