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crumbargento · 11 months

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Mausoleum - Michael Dugan - 1983 - USA

#mausoleum #michael dugan #bobbie bresee #1983 #horror movies #horror #80's #80s metal #80s horror #80s cinema

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rhetthammersmithhorror · 11 months

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#Bobbie Bresee #John Carl Buechler #Luca Bercovici #Charles band #Ghoulies #80s horror #Hammersmith Horror #horror #scream queen #practical effects #me and bae #chad #new bf #horror comedy #vhs

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pierppasolini · 6 months

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Mausoleum (1983) // dir. Michael Dugan

#Bobbie Bresee #Mausoleum #Michael Dugan #my caps #my edits #*mausoleum

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weirdlookindog · 5 months

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Mausoleum (1983)

#mausoleum #marjoe gortner #bobbie bresee #norman burton #1983 #1980s movies #michael dugan #horror movie poster

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marypickfords · 1 year

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Bobbie Bresee in Mausoleum (Michael Dugan, 1983)

#bobbie bresee #mausoleum #michael dugan #horrorstills #horror #caps

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badmovieihave · 3 months

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Bad movie I have Surf Nazis must Die 1987

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skooodles · 1 year

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Bobbie Bresee!

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mst3kproject · 2 years

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Evil Spawn

Picture a mix of four parts The Wasp Woman to one part Weasels Rip my Flesh, with John Carradine.

The opening card informs us: the Venus probe 'Odyssey' returns to Earth. It brings back alien microbes for study by independent laboratories. The use... and misuse... of these microbes is the subject of this film. It's a good thing they told us that, because based on the rest of the movie we would have no idea. Cut to an Evil Scientist freeing a Venusian weasel-bug from a metal filing cabinet. It mauls a dude, who turns into a zombie and rips a guy's arm off (serious deja-vu here). The Evil Scientist then goes to see John Carradine, who tells her that she must continue his work before abruptly dropping dead. None of this is really important.

Next, we meet Lynn Roman, who was once the hottest star in Hollywood, but that was before she committed the unpardonable sin of of turning forty. Evil Scientist comes to see Lynn and offers a magical youth serum, which does not noticeably rejuvenate her – but after nightfall she turns into a giant Venusian weasel-bug that drinks the blood of the living! After killing everybody who insulted her and a couple of people who didn't, she is gunned down by the police, leaving her biographer alive to tell her story.

I have a number of observations about this movie that don't really fit into a smooth narrative, so I'm just gonna deal with them one by one in an attempt at chronological order.

Within moments of pressing 'play' you will find the first thing I always remember about this movie, which is that the opening shots are stolen from Planet of Dinosaurs. How cheap do you have to be to steal the vacuum-cleaner spaceship from Planet of Dinosaurs?! This bit doesn't even serve any storytelling purpose. We already know that we've got crap from outer space because the text told us. We don't need to see the crap from outer space because it's not all that important. All this footage accomplishes is making the movie thirty seconds longer.

John Carradine is only in one scene. He looks extremely old and unwell, and I'm not sure I understood anything he said. I was slightly concerned that he actually did die right there and they just kept filming, but according to Wikipedia he lasted long enough to be in two more movies. Evil Spawn is, however, the last movie he appeared in that was released before his death in November 1988.

The 'top secret lab' where Evil Scientist steals the samples is absolutely located in somebody's suburban basement, and I would be willing to bet money it's the same house as we see Lynn living in. I'm not going to criticize them too hard for this, because they made the wise decision to spend the money instead on their monsters. The humanoid Venusian weasel-bug Lynn turns into isn't particularly impressive, but I do like the little one the scientists were keeping in their filing cabinet. It's obviously a hand puppet, but it's a fun, creative hand puppet with little red LED eyes, and its design is more alien than most things on Star Trek.

Remember how in The Leech Woman they had some lousy 'old lady' makeup for Old June and just caked a centimetre or so of foundation on for Young June? Evil Spawn does neither. Actress Bobbie Bresee, playing Lynn, was in fact forty at the time the movie was shot, and she's a better-looking forty than I am... but they literally never try to make her look either older or younger. After getting her first shot of Venusian youth serum she strips in front of a mirror to check out her restored hotness, and I honestly thought she was looking for evidence that the stuff had done anything because she looks exactly the same. I guess she is supposed to look younger, because other characters keep commenting on it, but as far as I can tell they didn't even try to show this.

Also, the first shot of Lynn is of her orgasm face. I... what?

We never find out what the Evil Scientist's plan is. We do learn that her name is Evelyn, pronounced with a long E so it sounds like “Evil Lynn”. I'm pretty sure this is a reference to Lynn in this movie rather than to the character from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, but I'm not sure what we're supposed to take from it. Nor do I have any idea what to make of the room she keeps as a shrine to Lynn Roman, covered with photos and articles about her on the wall. She even has a mannequin head that bears a vague resemblance to Lynn. She brushes its hair and argues with it. Then she kills herself when the police arrive, leaving us wondering what the hell that was all about with no possibility of ever getting an answer.

Had Evil Spawn appeared on MST3K (or should it do so in the future), it would have been a heck of a workout for the titty drones. Showing us breasts seems to be one of the movie's major purposes in existing. Lynn feels herself up in the shower both before and after her supposed youthening. Her secretary Elaine is killed while skinny-dipping. And a woman named Tracy is in the middle of a striptease when Venusian Weasel-Bug Lynn interrupts. Each of these scenes, of course, goes on long after we've got the point.

But then, the movie is actually quite slow anyway. I'm sure I've complained about movies that are in such a rush to get to the action that they don't bother letting us meet the characters. That is not a problem here. Evil Spawn takes its time to get to know Lynn and understand the root of her fear of aging, which is more than Countess Dracula ever did. This does help – we're never unclear about what's going on and we understand why Lynn is choosing these people in particular to exact her revenge on. There's just a bit too much of it, making scenes drag on, which is not a good thing when those scenes are nothing but mediocre actors yelling at each other. Some of this time really could have been better spent telling us what Evil Scientist's actual goal was... but then, I suspect even the writers didn't know that.

Above and beyond all that, the biggest thing that caught my attention is a sort of running joke in which Evil Spawn can't seem to stop reminding us that we are, in fact, watching a bad movie. Sometimes it does this by mentioning other bad movies – Lynn's agent has posters for 1969's The Stewardesses (a mediocre 3D softcore porno-comedy, which is apparently a real genre) and 1986's The Tomb (an awful mummy movie featuring both Carradine and Cameron Mitchell from Space Mutiny, and definitely a future ETNW). But mostly, it just straight-up talks about it.

When Evil Scientist offers Lynn her magical Venusian youth serum, Lynn complains, “this sounds like a bad science fiction film.” Later, Lynn's biographer Ross tries to convince her that she needs to be in the hospital, telling her, “this is not the plot of some movie, this is real!” People do say things like this in real life, but they shouldn't do so in movies, because it destroys suspension of disbelief by reminding us that we are, in fact, watching a movie. Reminding us that we are watching a bad movie is even worse, and also gives the impression that even the characters think the plot is stupid.

Evil Spawn brings up bad movies again every time we find out anything about Lynn's career. The reason she is so desperate to look younger is because she wants to play the lead in a movie called The Savage Goddess, and the absolute last insult that pushes her over the edge is learning that the producer wants her to play the main character's mother instead. At another point, she's offered a script for She-Demon, which she considers beneath her because it's being made by an Italian company with a budget of less than a million dollars. This seems pretty rich coming from a woman who is currently appearing in Evil Spawn.

I am, honestly, puzzled by this motif. It's not unusual for movies to be interested in the film-making business – you're supposed to write what you know, after all. But Evil Spawn is particularly obsessed with bad movies, and the fact that the lead in The Savage Goddess is such a desirable part for somebody seeking to re-ignite her career suggests that there is really no other kind. I suppose this is meant to be a joke, a wink at the audience and an acknowledgement that Evil Spawn is not exactly Oscar material. It doesn't work both for the reasons I discussed above and because of something I've mentioned before: the best bad movies are the ones that at least try to take themselves seriously. References like this make Evil Spawn feel like everybody on the project would have agreed with Lynn: this material is beneath them, and because of it the joy that makes things like Starcrash and Teenagers from Outer Space such fun is entirely missing here.

A movie called She-Demons was in fact made in 1958. There isn't an actual Savage Goddess, but there's a 1932 jungle film called Savage Girl. Surprisingly, I haven't yet seen either. I will remedy this in short order, and you will hear about it when I do.

#mst3k #reviews #episodes that never were #evil spawn #poor john carradine #80s #i reference star trek #tw: suicide

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robinlynnemabin · 11 months

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