Yes, I am back! Sorry for the delay and any grammar issues that crop up.

Announcment

My dear Tumblr followers, 

I have come to the decision to stop all RP on Bezzet, I thought long and hard on this choice and I feel this is for the better. When I made Bezzet she was never intended to be used for RP in the first place and due to some recent events and issues that have happened, I have lost the urge to RP on or with her. This doesn’t mean I will stop updating my Tumblr with pictures or other things, just her RP story is stopping. I do have other characters to RP on, you can follow my Lalafell Susuko here ->https://susukosuko.tumblr.com/ or my Midlander Bezgod Pickett here -> https://bezgodpickettadventures.tumblr.com/ I apologize for anyone who was looking forward to Bezzet’s story continuing.

Guilt

It’s been a while again. A decent amount to write. I’ll start where I left off. I managed to get my hands on a number of tomes. My office at the manor is over flowing with books at this point. I swear if I had the run of the house I’d make the downstairs a library. Well, mayhaps I’ll find another place to set up shop someday.

I did some light travelling. Tried to get back into the swing of things. I’ve been cooking more so I went to see old Lyngsath. We swapped stories and a few new recipes and I offered to help him around the kitchen a bit. A small world moment happened. I was running food out to a customer only to find it was Aeritria. We spoke for a while. She seemed to be doing well.

I finally left the city-states again and made my way out to the Ruby Sea. I spent some time in Kugane and came upon some interesting information eventually. I obtained some texts supposedly written by a lunatic regarding different forms of magic. Things I’ve never even heard of. I called Yuti out to the sea and we discussed it. We also talked about plans to search the ruins in Yanxia as well as the stars and how small we were.

I travelled back to the city-states. I needed a few days to rest. The curse is harder to deal with so far east. I went and saw Serendipity. It took some doing, but I got her to sell me one of those enormous telescopes as a gift to Yuti for all the grief I’ve caused her and for all the help she always gives to me and everyone else from what I can tell. Miette, Ikara, Soren, just to name a few. Since she doesn’t have a place of her own yet I had it delivered to the house in the Shroud. I had her meet me there so I could give it to her. I think she was happy. Completely worth the contract work I took on for Serendipity. I need to remember to tell Beta to go and see her. She mentioned she had something for him.

Yuti was true to her word. I called on her and she came out to Yanxia with me. We searched some, going through a few of the ruins. She found a book that seemed to be written in cipher. It could be nothing, but it could be everything.

The curse drew a great many more voidsent that night. I’m not sure if it was the distance from the Shroud or how long I had been there, but I was glad Yuti was around. I’m not certain I’d have survived on my own and I swore to someone I would do everything in my power to live. It was hard to willingly put her in danger like that though.

The next day we were supposed to explore more but something came up and she needed to return to the city-states. I returned as well. I was feeling a bit nostalgic and went to go see about stopping by Unity’s manor. I suppose with everything I wanted to see some old friendly faces. People who’d known me through more of the good than the bad. I got turned around though and ended up in the wrong ward. Nymeia was obviously working her magic though. How else could I explain the crazy random happenstance of meeting someone looking for an answer only maybe two or three people in the world could answer.

Guilt. Will I ever escape it? Probably not. I’ve a lot of blood on my hands. I spoke to him on a whim. He seemed out of sorts or down on his luck. Always thinking I can help. I guess something never change. The man, Bezgod I believe was his name, was looking for his missing wife. The same woman I left in the void when I rescued Elia. I saved my best friend. I saved my wife. I did not save his. I could have tried harder. Fought more. I know I could have. I wasn’t fast or smart enough to save his wife before she died. My penance was telling him. I made up for years of not knowing by giving him the bad news. He doesn’t know the shame I felt telling him what I did. The poor bastard seemed thankful. Glad to have an answer at least Not blaming me for failing to save her. Well, I’ll blame myself for the both of us.

It got me thinking. About accountability. About my legacy. About all the blood on my hands. No one is perfect, but I’ve caused a lot more pain than most. Killed more than many. How many Garleans did I send to the grave because they followed orders? I told myself they should have been stronger. I survived them. I survived their experiments and their brutality. I never turned on my land. They shouldn’t have. They deserved death for their betrayal. I’m not sure that’s true anymore. I tried to take my own life because my heart hurt. How can I claim my strength is greater than theirs? I the depths of my shame, I wonder how much less pain I might have caused if I’d taken the sword Amnaf asked me I run through her and I turned it on myself after. Or worse. How much less pain might there have been if I’d just given in like the others?

I know I never could. And I will never forgive the Garlean empire. But how many of those soldiers that I killed had never taken a life? How uneven are the scales? I’ve spent too much of my life in hatred. So much so that every chance for love, I’ve ruined.

There’s nothing I can do about the past, so I think I’ll try and do something in the now. Atone some. I’ll travel back to Yanxia. I had caused fear among one of the small settlements when Umi had been hurt and I was looking for her. I think I should go back. Apologize. Try and help them somehow. Carry grain, help repair buildings, something. It’s a small thing, but it’s a start, right?

For those who need to know the first text box reads, Gridania and the second one is Ul’dah.

Due to the hurricane and having to catch up on work, I was only able to do two comics this time. Please enjoy.

The comic has taken a back seat atm. I just haven’t felt inspired or motivated to really work on it. The ideas are there, I just feel “meh” about working on it. In the meantime, I’m trying to figure out where Bezgod is going with his story, losing his wife to the void has really hurt him and he’s trying to make good of it while figuring out what truly happened.

A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF THE PAST

Bezgod Pickett was a mercenary for hire, a free sword just looking for work to make it through several suns. He was hired by a rich gentleman who wanted his daughter protected at all costs as she went to and fro from the mansion. The daughter he was requested to protect was a Miqo’te named Aerea. She was apparently skilled in the elemental magicks and went to classes to teach her how to control and focus her abilities. After a few years of him guarding her, he had asked her hand in marriage with approval from her father, she accepted. They moved to The Mist where they bought a small house, Bezgod went back to be a hired hand doing odd jobs here and there. He had left on a job for several weeks only to return to an empty home. There were no signs of a struggle or a break-in, his wife’s things laid right where she had left them, even the items he knew she could not be without, remained. He asked her father if she had possibly returned and he shook his head stating he had not seen her. At this point, Bezgod worriedly began to search for his wife.

2 YEARS LATER: A man sat at the bar of the Drunken Wench, smelling of alcohol. A man who appeared to be one who had lost everything from a bad bet at the Gold Saucer, this man was Bezgod. Two years of traveling the land and asking anyone who might have a clue on the details of his missing wife. As he took an old, folded, and beaten picture of his wife out of his vest pocket a hand tapped him on the shoulder. As Bezgod drunkenly turned in his stool nearly toppling over, a strange man stood before him, “Are you, Bezgod Pickett? The man searching for his wife?” This wording took a bit to process through his drunkenness and as soon as he understood the man’s words, Bezgod’s eyes grew and his flame of hope lit again. He stumbled as he tried to stand from his stool, his hand took the other man’s hand and he shook it vigorously, “Do you know where my wife is? Is she okay? Can you tell me where she is?!” The questions poured from his mouth as the hope of knowing his wife’s whereabouts helped him sober up. The mysterious man stopped him by holding up a hand, “Let us talk at a table, you may want to be seated and on a chair with a back.” The man began to walk over to an empty table as a lump in Bezgod’s throat appeared and Bezgod clasped his mug walked before walking towards the table, grabbing a chair, pulling it aside and sitting down. The man across from him looked concerned and deep in thought of how he should word the news. The man let out a sigh, “First let me introduce myself. I’m Lloire and I did not know your wife directly but through someone else. I will explain.” So many questions were going through Bezgod’s head, but he refrained from asking as he waited for the explanation from this man named Lloire. “Your wife was apparently a friend to someone I know, who…” Lloire paused for a bit as he tried to think of how to explain, “Who also practiced in magick. I do not know what happened as I wasn’t there, I was called to save them ….from the void.” Lloire looked up at this time to notice the confusion on Bezgod’s baffled face before continuing, “I was only able to save one of them before the void rift swallowed closed. I’m sorry…I couldn’t do anything, but I could not save your wife.” Bezgod’s face showed rage as his eyes teared up, he took his mug and threw it across the tavern, as it hit a stone wall and fell to the floor. The other patrons turned to see the commotion as Bezgod sat back in his seat, burying his face into his hands and letting out a scream of sadness. Lloire stood up, “I’m sorry for your loss, I pray that she found peace.” He said before turning to leave the tavern himself. Bezgod just sat there the crying mess of a broken man.

A FEW WEEKS LATER: After finding out the news of his missing wife, Bezgod spent most of his time at the Drowning Wench, burying himself in guilt and alcohol. A strong hand smacked his back as a Roegadyn sat down beside him, “Ye don’t look so good mate, I think ye better slow down on dem drinks.” The Roe gave a hearty laugh and smacked Bezgod’s back again causing him to jerk forward. Bezgod glared at the Roe in an alcoholic look, “I-sh thinksh you needsh to leave me alone. You don’t know me…yoush don’t know the shit I’ve been through.” Bezgod pointed a drunken finger at the Roe. The Roe scratched his chin with a thumb and forefinger, “Hmm, I think I can guess…I’ve seen enough drunken people to know their problems just by looking at them.” The Roes eyes darted over Bezgod in a Sherlock Holmes fashion as he gave another ‘Hmm’ before smiling and speaking out, “A man should only drink for two reasons, celebration, and happiness. I can see ye are drinking because of a woman…and it isn’t a break up either.” The Roe pointed at Bezgod’s wedding band, “A break up would mean ye’d toss that away, no this is a loss and yer drinking because ye think it’s yer fault huh?” Bezgod stayed silent, “Hit the nail on de head I did eh?” The Roe smiled before it turned into a frown, “Ye don’t need to give me detail and I won’t ask, but guilt drink’n isn’t good for a man.” The Roe shakes his head, “If ye want to not feel guilty, then do something to prevent whatever happened from happening to others, aye? Help those so they don’t have to go through what you did.” The Roe smacked Bezgod’s back again, gentler and lighter this time as he stood up with his mug in hand and walked off. Bezgod thought about what the Roe said for a good while before turning in his stool looking for the Roe, only to see he was nowhere in sight.

PRESENT DAY: Bezgod stood out front of his home in The Mist, a bag slung over his shoulder as his eyes gazed upon the small cottage. The cottage had been emptied, the yard clean of decorations, the garden desolate of any kind of plant life. Old memories of Aerea flooded his thoughts as he took one last walk through his old home, touching walls where pictures and bookshelves full of books hung, the memories made him feel as if Aerea was there with him. His eyes watered, as he made his way outside, closing the door behind him as he pulled a small bouquet of lavender flowers out of his coat and placed them on the ground in front of the door. “May you find peace, my love.” He whispered weakly kissing two of his fingers and placing them against the door frame, he then readjusted the bag over his shoulder, turned and walked away, never looking back.

Looking For RP (Balmung)

The Basics ––– –

NAME: Olivia Tofte AGE: 65 BIRTHDAY: 28th Sun of the 6th Astral Moon RACE: Veira (Veena) GENDER: Female SEXUALITY: Bisexual MARITAL STATUS: Single

Physical Appearance ––– –

HAIR: Blue with White Highlights EYES: Emerald Green HEIGHT: 6'3 (not counting her ears) BUILD: Slim/muscular DISTINGUISHING MARKS: Small burn scars litter her arms from her work and there is a small Nordic-like triangle tattoo on her back-left shoulder blade. Personal ––– –

PROFESSION: Blacksmith and Store owner (The Forge) HOBBIES: Making small knick-knacks from scrap metal LANGUAGES: Common RESIDENCE: The Mist Ward 13 Plot 25 BIRTHPLACE: Golmore Jungle RELIGION: None FEARS: The color Yellow

Relationships ––– -

SPOUSE: No CHILDREN: No PARENTS: Maybe SIBLINGS: Maybe PETS: None.

Traits ––– -

Extroverted / In Between / Introverted. Disorganized / In Between / Organized Close Minded / In Between / Open-Minded. Calm / In Between / Anxious. Disagreeable / In Between /Agreeable. Cautious / In Between / Reckless. Patient / In Between / Impatient. Outspoken / In Between / Reserved. Leader / In Between / Follower. Empathetic /In Between / Apathetic. Optimistic / In Between / Pessimistic. Traditional / In Between / Modern. Hard-working / In Between / Lazy. Cultured / In Between / Uncultured. Loyal / In Between / Disloyal. Faithful / In Between / Unfaithful.

Habits ––– -

SMOKING: Never / Sometimes / Frequently / To Excess. DRUGS: Never / Sometimes / Frequently / To Excess. ALCOHOL: Never / Sometimes /Frequently / To Excess.

RP Hooks ––– –

Blacksmith/Store Owner: Olivia owns a shop where she works. She has done a bit of weapon and armor repair work for each of the three Grand Companies and has a handful of customers who come to her for repairs. It isn’t unusual for her to get new customers requesting work of her.

The Forge: Part of her shop is also a bistro called The Forge, a place where customers who are either browsing her wares or waiting for their items are able to grab a snack or have a meal. The restaurant portion is run by siblings, a brother and a sister that Olivia had hired.

Additional Info ––– –

I do not consider myself a very experienced RPer, I got into trying role-playing back in XIV Ver 1.0, from there I joined a small group of friends and tried to RP more. I stopped RPing for about a year or two and I am trying to get back into it. I’m a very nice and laid-back person looking to make new RP friends. If you see me don't be afraid to drop a /tell. . Contact Info ––– – Discord: Bezgod#8461 You can DM me here on my Tumblr

Before you Begin...

I would like you all to know, the comics of Bezgod that I will be posting do not reflect my actual character from Final Fantasy XIV on the Balmung server. These comics were made to be goofy and silly so please keep that in mind while you are reading or if you meet me in-game. I will try to update every Monday if I can, or if not on Monday as soon as I am able to.

Thank you

-Bezgod Pickett-